


CrushingOn Stupid One-Shots

by CrushingOnSans



Series: COSOS Stuff [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bad Puns, Cheating, Check individual warnings above each chapter, Cherryberry - Freeform, Christmas, Drabbles, Fluff, Fontcest, Incest, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, One Shot Collection, Sadism, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Swearing, Tango, Underlust, alcohol use, and now all i seem to write is rottenberry, anyway, bluefell, but hey, classiccherryberry, errotic - Freeform, even the tags have stupid puns, fuck the sexual kind, ill admit, it starts out as mostly cherryberry, kustard - Freeform, lol, one shots, otp, rottenberry, skelepreg, stupid titles, swellcest, the beginning is a little shitty, the scary kind of sadism not the sexual kind, then theres lots of kustard?, this collection is SFW, undertale one shots, you can see me becoming a better writer too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2018-08-31 16:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 136
Words: 302,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8585845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushingOnSans/pseuds/CrushingOnSans
Summary: Alright so this is just a ton of bullshit, welcome. One-shots, lots of one-shots. Also lots of procrastination. It's great, you'll love it, I promise. If you look closely you can see exactly when my OTP changes (I'll give you a hint it happened twice)Feat. Dumb Titles (hell yeah)





	1. The Grass is Always Greener

**Author's Note:**

> Current Series:  
> [The Grass is Always Greener](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320) (complete) 1, 4, 11, 17?, 18, 23, 30  
> Betrayal 6, 14, 33, 42, 53, 115  
> OT3 12, 16, 19, 29, 39, 44, 48, 56, 60, 83, Full Fic version Ch. 100  
> Biggest Fears 13, 25  
> WAYTTY 21  
> Tis the Season (hiatus until next december) 22, 28, 34, 41  
> BlueFell 38, 59, 80, 116  
> String Theory Companion Pieces 85, 91, 93, 96  
> (Last Updated After Ch. 123)
> 
> Chapters 50 and 100 are 18k and 26k respectively, and each the equivalent of their own fics (and are published as their own fics in the "COSOS stuff" series)
> 
> ALSO, I remember when I first joined the fandom how confusing all the names got, so [Here's a list](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/155870298909/how-i-name-my-characters)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The idea behind this one: you know how sans gets written a lot as having an impossible crush on his brother? Well what about if in Fell they were already together and Red got tired of it. Like a reverse of the other situation.
> 
> NOTE: This chapter is a shame on its family, I really hate it. Skip it, seriously, go to the next chapter. Go read the full fic version of this instead.
> 
> Warnings: Apathy, One-Sided Relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 1, 4, 11, 17?, 18, 23, 30  
> [Full Story Version of This Series](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320)
> 
> Come stalk me on [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) I like it I promise

The laugh of a child, the slash of a knife, crushing blackness, and then...  
Red woke up slowly, as he usually did. There was no need to open his eyes. He knew what day it was, what time it was, what was going to happen. Everything was so predictable when it happened so many times in a row. It was warm in the room, like it always was. Not stifling, just pleasantly warm in a way that made him want to roll over under the sheets and just fall right back to sleep. There were a lot of resets where he did exactly that, but this reset felt different.  
He knew it wasn't different. It never was. He was different. That's what it was. He was different, so it all felt different.  
Every reset was the same. Every word, every movement, every single tiny conversation. The only thing that could ever change them was Red, and lately, he'd stopped caring enough to say anything different than he was supposed to. So when something different finally happened on its own, he hadnt known how to react.  
A portal had opened, just right in the middle of the forest, next to his sentry station. It had looked a little bit like what he imagined the tail-end of his shortcuts must look like and sure enough, he saw himself step out of the little tear in space. Except...it wasnt him. He wouldn't get caught dead traipsing around in that stupid getup. Little blue scarf, weak armor, boots, actual stars in his eyes. Maybe this was him if he were a dingus.  
The dingus him had stepped out of the portal looking for all the world as though he were actually happy to be here. Weird little guy. After him came another version of himself...and another, and another, and another. It hadnt made sense at the time, but Red had found himself hard-pressed to really care. Yeah, this was new. But what did new even feel like? How was one expected to react to something new? Red had no idea, so he opted to take the easy route. He sat at his station and watched. He watched as these costumed clones waltzed in like they owned the place. He watched as the dingus version of him bounced up and down until finally noticing him. He watched as several of the clones approached him carefully. He watched as they checked him. And then, he reacted.  
It took the clones a good half an hour to get him to stop fighting and listen to them. Even then, he'd had to be forcibly restrained. Turns out they actually were him. They were from alternate universes and they were here to explore the worlds, to unite the Sanses, and to give him a stupid nickname that they even had him calling himself by. Even as he growled and snarked and fought, he really couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't remember what caring felt like.  
They left. It reset. He woke up on the same damn bed, with the same damn bedmate, in the same deadly world, and as always, it was so comfortably warm that he didn't want to get up.  
It hadnt felt as different as this time, but it had still felt different. Something had changed. He had felt something akin to...happiness? He wasn't sure, but it had felt almost nice.  
And then they came again. There were less of them this time. Just the little dingus, whom, Red was informed, was named Blue, a version of him in a blue sweatshirt and pink slippers that looked almost as tired as Red always felt, and an artist whose eyelights changed with every blink. They sat down next to him, talked to him, asked him questions, pulled him a little further out of his constant apathy.  
Then they left.  
Then he woke up. It was warm.  
They came again. This time, the artist wasn't with them. They brought others. Red didn't bother to remember their made-up names. He didn't really care. Dingus and Slippers, though. They still made him almost feel happy.  
They sat. They talked. They left. Reset.  
This time, Slippers came alone. He asked Red if he wanted to try visiting his world. Red didn't see why not. They went. Red met a version of his brother that was happier than Dingus. Red hadnt even known that was possible.  
Slippers took him home. Reset.  
This time, Slippers and Dingus came alone, but they invited him to Slippers' world again. He went. He smiled, and everyone stared at him. He didn't know why at first, until he realized that this was different. He hadnt smiled in... too long.  
Home. Reset. Slippers and Dingus came back again. This time when they went to the other world, Red noticed that this version of his brother didn't remember him at all. This Papyrus didn't remember anything either. Home. Reset. Reds life slipped into a pattern again, but he didn't care now. It was predictable, but it was good. He was happy. He never thought he would be happy again.  
Red rolled over slightly, careful not to disturb the sleeping skeleton beside him. They would come again today, as they always did, but there was something he had to do first.  
Last reset, it had seemed like a fantastic idea to introduce Dingus to the winders of alcohol. Unfortunately, since every version of himself except Dingus seemed to be far too acquainted with it, Slippers demonstrated exactly why you should never drink.  
Red looked at his brother. Boss was snoring softly, mouth open, drooling fairly heavily. There had been a time, resets upon resets ago, when Red's heart would have warmed at the mere sight of the "great and terrible" Papyrus drooling in his sleep, trusting him enough to be so vulnerable.  
Resets upon resets ago, Red had loved his brother more than life itself. Papyrus had been his one hope, his one reason to keep going, to keep trying.  
But then it had just kept resetting. And Boss said the same things, did the same things, loved Red in all the same ways, and he had just gotten so...tired.  
Slippers was tired too. He didn't have the same energy as Dingus. He had been just as uncaring as Red once upon a time. And, just like Red, he had loved his brother beyond all reason.  
But unlike Red, he had not developed that love until after the world began starting over. Every reset, Slippers woke up alone, on his living room couch. Friendless, loveless, hopeless.  
Slippers loved his Papyrus more than anything. And he knew that his Papyrus loved him back. But just like Red, he was tired of starting over. Slippers had done what Sanses did best. He had given up. He was tired of starting over, of losing the love he shared with his brother, of progressing without him. And it all came out over the sixth round of drinks with Red and Dingus.  
And Red felt so...  
Guilty.  
He turned away from Papyrus and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, standing up and stretching. He grabbed the same set of clothes off the floor as he always did when he woke up in this warm room, and he started covering his bare bones.  
He hadnt told Slippers that he woke up every reset in the arms of his Papyrus. He hadnt told him that they had found their love for one another far before any resets had occurred. He hadnt told him just how much his brother loved him and showed it, despite the awful, bloodthirsty world they lived in.  
And he hadnt told him how much he had grown to hate it.  
Red loved his brother, more than anything. He wouldnt hesitate to die for him. In fact, he had died for him, countless times. But over the course of so many repeats, he had gotten so tired of the same things being said, over and over and over again. He didn't know exactly when he had stopped wanting to be with his brother, but even his guilt after Slippers' confession hadnt changed his mind.  
He had broken Papyrus's heart so many times now. He didn't even bother anymore. He just left.  
Papyrus stirred slightly, and Red ignored it. He knew when he would wake up, and it wasn't for another few minutes. Red crossed the room quietly.  
He had lost count of how many times he had stood here in the doorway and looked back at a sleeping, drooling Papyrus. For the first couple hundred, he had loved the sight more than anything. His heart had swelled and his soul had felt so full it could have burst. Red didn't know exactly when it had gone away, but there came a time when he had stood in the doorway and realized that he hated everything about this. He hated waking up next to his brother, he hated lying to him, he hated pretending to love someone he hadnt loved that way in what had to be years. He had stood in the doorway and stared until he couldn't stand the sight, and then he had walked away, back to the same life he'd always had, back to the repeated conversations and the echoed actions.  
Then something new had happened. A portal had opened and he had been greeted by himself. He found something new to live for, and he hadnt even paused in the doorway anymore as he raced towards his next adventure.  
Red found himself pausing in the doorway. He glanced back. Papyrus looked the same as ever. He found himself wondering what Slippers would think if he knew.  
Red shook his head at himself as he turned around. He tucked the blanket more securely around his brother, and planted a kiss on his forehead.  
Papyrus's eyes blinked open, looking up at him confusedly. Red grinned down at him. His baby brother. He would probably regret this.  
"Hey Boss, I have some people I'd like you to meet"


	2. Red and Blue are Colors of the Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off my personal headcanon that if Red and Blue were on the surface and gay, Blue would be the "goes to every pride parade, wears nothing but rainbows, only listens to lady gaga" sort of gay guy and Red would be his gruffer, gother boyfriend who isn't fully out of the closet yet. 
> 
> This doesn't actually have anything to do with my [other gay skeletons fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8541994/chapters/19582903), other than to show you just how into this headcanon I am.
> 
> Warnings: Abuse, Homophobic Abuse

"Red!"  
Red groaned and flipped himself over, rubbing his eyes. He'd been asleep, but who could possibly sleep through the ruckus Blue would make when he wanted someone's attention?  
"Yeah, Blue?"  
"I have a question!"  
"Go for it"  
"Are you gay?"  
Red's eyes shot open and he sat up so fast that he felt faintly dizzy. He took a moment to recover, and then looked at Blue. Then immediately wished that he hadn't.  
"What the hell are you wearing, Underswap?"  
Blue appeared to have been eaten, chewed up, and spit out by a leprechaun or some shit. There were rainbows everywhere. He was wearing a rainbow as a cape, his blue bandanna had been replaced by a rainbow one, his shirt had a rainbow on it, there was rainbow face paint all over his cheeks.  
Blue grinned in that happy little way he always did. "I'm wearing my pride on my sleeve!" He announced, striking a pose.  
"And everywhere else, apparently"  
"Yes, well, Ive been told I'm very prideful and since I'm sure this is what everyone means, I thought I'd just get everything I could to show it off!"  
Red squinted slightly. He was never sure whether or not Blue was being sarcastic. He always looked so serious, but some of the things that came out of his mouth...  
"But you never answered my question! Are you gay, Red?"  
Red fidgeted uncomfortably. "I dunno. No. I'm not gay. Why would think I was gay?"  
Blue looked disappointed. "I didn't know if you were. I just thought...Well, I am!"  
"No shit, really? I never would have picked that up"  
Blue's eyes lit up "Is it really that obvious?!?" He exclaimed. Then he frowned again. "And watch your language!"  
Red smiled a bit. "Do you want it to be? Because if not, you might want to lose a fuckin' rainbow or five"  
Blue frowned again at the swear, but then he was back to bouncing happily. "I want everyone to know! I want to be a part of something great, just like this! The humans have really made an amazing community among themselves and I didn't even know I was a part of it before today! There's just so much joy in being gay!"  
Red chuckled a bit at the unintentional pun. "I'm not sure it's quite so joyful, kiddo. Not everyone's dancin' in the streets about this"  
Blue frowned again anf folded his arms in an attempt to look cross, but only succeeded in making himself look cuter. "How do you know?"  
Red snorted and said "Have you ever seen some of the protests? People all in the streets, holdin' up signs, makin' a fuckin' nuisance of themselves, showin' up at weddings and shit. People here have all kinds 'a fucked up ideals, and they'll do just about anything to keep things how they've always been. And it's not even just humans! Hell, you shoulda seen the scar Boss gave me when he found out that I---" Red cut himself off suddenly, realizing what he'd been about to say. He glanced at Blue, hoping that he hadnt noticed.  
Blue was staring at him in confusion, then his eyes widened and a grin took over his face. "SO YOU ARE GAY!!!" he exclaimed, clasping his hands under his chin and looking for all the world like he was going to burst with happiness.  
Red flinched and looked away. "No 'm not" he mumbled. Damn. He knew that didn't sound very convincing.  
Suddenly there were fingers under his chin and he was looking Blue in the eye. His smile has disappeared, replaced with a look of horror. "Your brother did what?" He whispered.  
Red blanched. "Aw, hell, Blue. It doesn't matter, it's okay. I said I was kidding, he's never brought it up again! Don't look like that about it!"  
Blue still looked on the edge of tears, his fingers still under Red's chin. "Red, of course that matters. He hurt you. And over something you can't even control"  
Blue did whatever the skeleton version of biting his lip was, then he continued, a look of determination on his face. "He shouldn't ever hurt you, especially not for something like that! He's an- an asshole!" He looked mildly surprised at hearing that word come out of his own mouth, as though he hadnt thought he'd actually be able to say it.  
Red wanted to smile. He really did. Even the thought of Blue swearing would usually give him a bit of a shit-eating grin. It was just a really funny thought. But here and now, in the situation that had actually brought it about, he just couldn't. Instead, his eyes filled with tears, and to his complete and utter embarrassment, he began to cry. He yanked his face away from Blue's, away from the fingers under his chin, away from the pity and the determination and god damnit, why did he have to be so fuckin' cute?  
Red buried his face in his hands, his body shaking with great, heaving sobs. He felt Blue sit next to him on his bed and wrap his arms around his shaking shoulders. He leaned into him, feeling weaker than he ever had before and for once, not minding it very much.


	3. The Worst Possible Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off of the idea that the Fell Bros are just as big of dorks as the rest of the multiverse. Always a sucker for fell bro brotherly fluff, might as well create my own!

Papyrus was a fearsome warrior. He was considered by many to be the most powerful monster in the entire underground, with the exception of King Asgore himself. He could cause monsters to cower with only a look, he carried himself as though he could and would dust you without a second thought, and there was more than one mother that threatened their children with his name when they would not behave.  
As a monster of great dignity and power, one would expect him to spend his free hours torturing someone for fun or possibly setting things on fire.  
He would certainly never be standing, frozen, in the middle of the kitchen at midnight with almost a dozen chocolate bars clutched in his hands and two more stuffed in his mouth.  
And his useless, lazy brother could certainly never be found glaring at the captain of the royal guard, hands on his hips and for all the world looking like he was about to scold the terrifying monster before him.  
He wouldn't possibly dare.  
"Boss, what the fuck? Those are mine!"  
The Great and Terrible Papyrus chewed. Then he swallowed. Then he opened his mouth...  
And stuffed in three more candy bars. Like the mature adult he was. And then booked it past Sans and rushed up the stairs to his room, tripping over the top step like the dignified Captain he was.  
"Boss!" Came a shout from downstairs right before he slammed his door shut behind him and locked it.  
Papyrus swallowed the chocolate in his mouth and grinned at the remaining candy bars. These things were amazing. He didn't know where Red found them, but he had always been careful to keep them carefully hidden. Too bad for him that the Great and Terrible Papyrus was also a great detective!  
Sans pounded on his door. "Boss you're such a fuckin' pig, give those back!"  
Now, Papyrus wasn't the brother that was well-known for his wit. However, anyone who had seen him call out the mistakes of any of his inferiors would have a hard time forgetting his clipped tone and his precise words. He meant everything he said, and he always crafted each and every one of his sentences with the utmost care.  
"Your mom's a fucking pig!" came his retort.  
There was a pause in the pounding on his door, accompanied by a deep sigh.  
"How many times do I have to tell you, we're brothers. Insulting my ancestors is kind of a backfiring insult, asshole"  
"Your mom's a backfiring insult"  
"Oh my god, fuck you!"  
"We're brothers, Sans. That would be highly inappropriate"  
Papyrus downed another candy bar as Sans groaned again. Then there was a loud snap and sans was standing right in front of him.  
Captains certainly did not squeak and jump when confronted with a surprise. They didn't get jump-scared, they were always prepared for every possibility. They certainly did not throw open their doors and run away from anything, least of all their useless older brothers. And they most definitely did not do that while stuffing yet another candy bar into their mouth and trying to hide those that remained down the front of their nightshirts. It simply wasn't done.  
After the very controlled and dignified response that Papyrus definitely had instead, he most certainly was not chased around the house by his brother like a babybones, and since the Great and Terrible Papyrus never giggled, those breathless laughs must have been coming from the very angry Sans.  
When Papyrus was finally caught, his laughter had grown so loud, he was almost worried about someone breaking in to see what could possibly be causing such happiness. Sans had finally softened a bit and was almost smiling as he grabbed his chocolate back from his brother, not before Papyrus managed to stuff one more into his mouth.  
Sans looked down at the candy before his eyes widened and his grin grew so wide his skull looked to be on the verge of splitting. "I don't suppose you found these in the back of the drawer to the left of the sink, did you?" He asked, laughter in his words.  
Papyrus nodded, chewing and swallowing his newest conquest.  
"Didja happen to read the label, Boss?"  
Papyrus frowned and looked at Sans questioningly. "I didn't see the need. These are the same chocolates you always have"  
Sans seemed to be trying very hard to hold back laughter. "Not exactly" he turned one of the unopened bars around for Papyrus to read the label.  
No one would ever guess that the Great captain was even capable of fear. He was always so calm, so collected, so fear-inducing. He couldn't possibly have anything to be afraid of.  
No one would ever believe the look on his face now as he read the label to the background noise of his brother's laughter.  
"Extreme Magic Laxative - Chocolate Flavor!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also on Tumblr [here!](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/155804494994/the-worst-possible-thing)


	4. *The Grass is Always Greener 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take 2 of that prompt from chapter 1 where Red doesn't love his brother like that anymore. This is from the first time he tried to break up with him, so it's quite a few resets befor the other part. 
> 
> Warnings: One-sided Relationship, Breakup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 1, 4, 11, 17?, 18, 23, 30  
> [Full Story Version of This Series](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320)

The Great and Terrible Papyrus drooled in his sleep. Sans could remember a time when that had been the funniest thing he had ever seen. The first time he had fallen asleep next to his brother, only to wake up in a small puddle, he had woken Papyrus up with his laughter.  
Sans stood in the doorway, remembering that moment, and he frowned. When had he lost that? Which reset had it been, the first time he woke up next to a drooling Papyrus, that he hadn't found any joy in it?  
He watched his brother quietly, waiting for him to wake up. He had stood in this doorway countless times. He knew exactly when Papyrus's eyes would blink open, and he knew exactly what would happen if he stayed in the bed next to him when that happened. He couldn't remember exactly when he had stopped wanting that, but it had been so many resets since he had started standing in the doorway to avoid it.  
Papyrus stirred slightly, like he always did, then he opened his eyes. He looked around blearily for sans and when he saw him, he smiled brightly. There wasn't much to smile about in this world. It used to mean everything Sans that all it took was the sight of him for his brother to be happy. Now, it just hurt.  
"Sans" Papyrus said tiredly, still smiling. He sat up slowly, stretching. His bare ribs gleaned in the light, his numerous scars standing out in stark contrast from the smooth areas of bone.  
Sans couldn't even find it in himself to smile back. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't take his brother loving him like this when he hadn't felt the same in what felt like years. He had never been able to find it in himself to break his brothers heart. He still loved him, more than anything. Just...not like that. Not anymore.  
Sans sighed heavily, rubbing his eye sockets. Then he forced a smile onto his face. "Hey, Boss. Sleep well?" he asked. His voice sounded too high, false and pained.  
Papyrus looked at him for a moment, confusion evident on his face. "Yeah...yeah, I slept fine. Sans...are you okay?"  
Sans couldn't get himself to make eye contact. He looked at his feet. How could he even be considering this? He couldn't do this to his brother. He couldn't take any small amount of happiness away from him.  
"Yeah, Boss. I'm great. I'm gonna go make breakfast."  
He turned on his heel and blipped down to the kitchen, still unable to look Papyrus in the face.  
He braced himself up against the counter and took a few heaving breaths. He couldn't do this, he couldn't pretend anymore, he couldn't do this anymore, but how could he not, he had to keep doing this, it would be okay, it was just a relationship, it's fine, he could do this, no he couldn't, that was his brother, what had he been thinking?  
Sans closed his eyes, still leaning up against the counter. He had done this exact thing so many times now. He had gotten so close, so close to ending it, to taking away Papyrus's smile. How could he be so selfish? He still loved his brother, he didn't want to hurt him. He would give anything not to have to hurt him.  
Including his own happiness? Without a doubt.  
But Sans was so tired. Reset after reset, falling out of love so slowly, repeating the same few days over and over and over again. Nothing was ever new unless Sans made it so. Nothing was ever different.  
He was just so tired.  
He heard Papyrus coming down the stairs a few moments later, and hurriedly pulled out some food. He poured cereal into bowls and added milk as his brother came into the room.  
"Wow. Impressive cooking skills. This is practically a gourmet meal. How do you do it?" Came the somewhat sarcastic voice from behind him.  
Normally, Sans would turn and he would force a grin and he would respond with some stupid pun about breakfast. He turned, but he couldn't get himself to smile, to joke. Instead, to his horror, his eyes filled with tears. He spun back around, clutching to the counter again.  
He heard Papyrus cross the room quickly, felt his arms wrap around him from behind.  
"Sans, what the fuck is going on? You are not okay. Please, tell me what's going on"  
Sans was still crying, and now he was shaking too. How could he have ever loved this so much? The feel of his brothers arms around him felt too intimate, too loving in all the wrong ways. It left him feeling vaguely ill.  
He felt Papyrus's fingers on his cheekbone, turning hus head, and then he was kissing him.  
Sans couldn't help his reaction. He jumped sideways, away from the kiss, away from his brother's embrace. He backed away, into a wall, hands out in front of him in a position of surrender.  
"please... Please don't..." the sound of his own voice shocked him. He sounded so weak, weaker than he had heard himself sound since they were children, starving in the streets of the Capitol. "Boss...please....I can't do this"  
Papyrus looked as though his world was coming crashing down around him. "Sans?"  
How could he do this? How could he possibly do this to the person he loved most in the world? The look on his face hurt, it physically hurt, but now that he had started, he couldn't seem to stop going.  
"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending!" That was the wrong thing to say. Papyrus looked absolutely crushed. "aw, hell, Boss, I don't mean--i mean, it doesn't make any sense to you, know, but I loved you yesterday. I did, I really did, but I just...I can't...I don't want to be with you like that, Boss. I just can't be with you like that anymore, it's killin' me!"  
Papyrus stumbled slightly, gripping onto the same counter that Sans had just been using to prop himself up. "I..." His voice sounded too thick, like he was holding back tears, and he was looking at Sans like he had never seen him before. "Did I do something wrong?" He whispered.  
Sans wanted more than anything to walk forward and wrap his arms around him, to comfort him as a brother, to do anything to make him feel better, to take it back and see that smile again. But he couldn't.  
"No, no, of course not, Boss. Of course not. You're amazin'. I just...we're brothers! I mean, what the fuck are we doin'?" He didn't know how to do this, he didn't know the right things to say, if there even was a right thing to say. "Boss, I'm so sorry"  
Damn it, he was crying. He hadn't seen Papyrus cry since he was shorter than him, he didn't know how to deal with this. Anything he did was likely to make it worse.  
"D-dont...Don't be s-sorry. Im g-glad you could be h-honest with m-me" Papyrus sobbed. Sans had never seen him like this. Never. Papyrus just didn't cry, he didn't show weakness, hell, he barely even had emotions.  
Papyrus stood straight, fixing his already impeccable gloves and scarf. "i-i don't think I'm g-going to have breakfast this m-morning. I have to get to w-work" he mumbled, still crying as he rushed from the room.  
Sans knew he would never betray his weaknesses to the monsters that lived outside their home and sure enough, instead of the sound of the door opening, there was a thump that Sans was pretty sure signified that Papyrus had thrown his back against the wall just outside the kitchen door. He could still hear the soft sounds of his crying, and a feeling curdled in his nonexistent stomach. Shame.  
Over the next few days, not much was different. He went to his station, he went to grillbys, he went home. And then he went to bed on the bare mattress in his old room. Papyrus was actively avoiding him, working odd hours and claiming headaches during meals, retreating into his room almost immediately upon getting home.  
It had been a long day. Sans hadn't even seen Papyrus today, he was pretty sure he was still out. The human hadnt come out of the ruins yet, which was to be expected. They usually spent a few days wandering around before they got out here. Sans trudged up the stairs in the empty house, opening the door to the bare room, and collapsed onto the lumpy mattress. He was asleep within moments. 

When Sans woke up, he was warm. He didn't remember putting a blanket on, but he could feel one shifting against his bones. Maybe, Sans thought, full of hope, Papyrus was on his way to forgiving him. Maybe he had come and put a blanket over him. Maybe he was worried about him. Sans rolled over. This was so comfortable. He had missed the feeling of a soft bed.  
Wait.  
A soft bed?  
Sans' eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, looking around. He was in Papyrus's room. He looked over, and, sure enough, his brother was in the bed beside him.  
He looked down at himself. His bare bones were catching and reflecting the morning light.  
Sans's quick awakening seemed to have roused his brother. Papyrus blinked his eyes open blearily, looking around in sleepy confusion until he saw Sans looking at him.  
As soon as they made eye contact, Papyrus's eyes filled with love and hope and happiness such that could barely be found elsewhere in the underground.  
And then, something that should have been mundane happened. Something that Sans hadnt seen since that morning that seemed so long ago.  
Papyrus smiled.


	5. Drink for Drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue has hardcore alcohol tolerance and Fell is a total lightweight. Drinking contests and hilarity ensue.  
> Disclaimer: I've never had alcohol. I don't know if this is how you drink. don't judge me.
> 
> I may or may not have been listening to [Believer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaxFIr3GJ-8) by Major Lazer on repeat while writing this so that's the mood I was in.

Underlust truly was a ridiculous world. Instead of Grillby's being a bar and grill as it was in nearly every other universe, it was some kind of strip club. There were far too many flashing lights and the music was far too loud for Fell's taste.  
For some reason that he didn't really understand, the Font brothers of several different universes had gathered in this useless universe.  
"MAKE WAY FOR THE BIRTHDAY BOY!!!" shouted Fell's alternate from the Undertale universe.  
Ah, right. It was the Blueberry's 21st birthday. Now that he was allowed to be as much of an adult as that overgrown child could ever be, of course the others would drag all of them to the sleaziest place in the multiverse.  
Fell sighed loudly and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms tightly, watching as the innocent version of his brother was led to the dancefloor, where he and Tale proceeded to dance like they were in a church or something. Fell snorted. Of course, even in this place, the two most innocent members of their little group would be doing the cabbage patch.  
Fell turned to his brother, who looked half asleep and was leaning on the shoulder of Sans Classic, both looking about as excited as Fell felt. "Could both of you fucking lazybones maybe not fall asleep in the middle of the party? I do not have any desire to deal with your brother if he catches you asleep, Comic" Comic shifted just enough to flip Fell off before he settled more comfortably into his seat, pulling Red with him, who smirked in Fell's general direction without even opening his eyes.  
Fell rolled his eyes and turned back to face the dance floor. Tale and Blue had abandoned their failed dancing and were making their way back to the rest of the group.  
"Hey bro" said the laziest of Fell's counterparts, Stretch, with a lazy wave towards the Blueberry. Blueberry replied with his usual sickeningly sweet smile.  
"Hey Blue, I think it's about time for your first ever drink, right?" Came Red's voice from behind Fell. There was an edge of laughter in his voice as though he were sharing a private joke. Blue grinned back, some of his usual sweetness gone.  
"What should I have, Red? It's not like I know what I'm doing!" His voice sounded too innocent. Something was up. Fell carefully looked around for any threat, not that anything from this trashbag universe would actually pose one. There was nothing, as expected, so he turned back to the exchange, confused.  
"What do you think about tequila shots, Blue?"  
Red's question prompted several immediate reactions. Several of the Sanses grinned even wider than they usually did, while several of the Papyrus's blinked in surprise. The SwapFells both looked like they were about to witness a very exciting car crash, and Stretch sat up quickly and said "I don't think that's a good--"  
He was drowned out by Fell's loud laughter. "Tequila shots, Red? Are you fucking serious? This...child couldn't even handle wine coolers!" His laughter grew in volume, and he was so busy wiping away tears of mirth that he didn't notice the look the Comic and Red exchanged right before they both sat up straighter so they could see the scene before them better. Comic leaned over to Underlust Sans that was on his other side and said, very quietly, "he is so fucked". Lust grinned and nodded before turning his attention back to the conversation. Blue glared at Fell, then he turned to Tale and said something quietly. Tale nodded and walked off in the direction of the bar.  
Blue focused his attention back on the laughing skeleton.  
"You know, Fell, that really isn't very nice! I'm sure that the Sansational Blue could handle anything that gets thrown his way!" His smile was huge and innocent. Red choked back his laughter at the thought of what his brother had just gotten himself into.  
"Oh yeah?" smirked Fell, leaning forward slightly and grinning maliciously. "You could never match me, the Great and Terrible Papyrus!"  
"Here he goes" muttered Red to Comic, who snorted. Then, more loudly, he said "Why don't you guys bet on it?"  
"Ooo! I love bets! Can we, Fell?" Chirped Blue, his eyes morphing into stars and his hands clasping beneath his chin.  
Fell chuckled, still somehow unaware of the atmosphere in their little group that showed exactly what was coming for him. "Sure thing, little Berry. How about, if you can't match me, drink for drink, you have to do whatever I tell you for a day." He leaned forward farther, leering at the small skeleton.  
Stretch made a noise of protest, starting to move forward before Ink Sans grabbed his shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Stretch looked at him I'm surprise, then back to his brother, then at Fell. A grin grew in his face and he relaxed back into his chair.  
"Okay!" Exclaimed Blue. "If I win, you have to do the same for me! You have to do everything I say for a whole day!"  
Fell grinned, his eyes locked on the innocent little stars in the eyes in front of him. "Deal" he said, holding his hand out.  
Blue grinned, and a flash of something entered his eyes that almost made Fell hesitate, but then it was gone and Blue was shaking his hand.  
Suddenly, Blue was dragging him up to the bar and plopping himself down on a stool. Fell sat next to him, feeling slightly more wary than he had been a moment ago when he saw that there were already a pair of shots in front of their seats.  
"You go first!" Said Blue happily, picking up his shot.  
Fell glared at him, then downed it. It burned on the way down and he struggled not to make a face. He couldn't wait to see the little Berry's reaction to that. He placed his glass on the var upside down and turned to Blue.  
Blue held up his shot, made a move with it like he was toasting Fell, winked, then downed it in one smooth motion.  
No reaction.  
Not even a twitch.  
It was in this moment that Fell realized he might be in trouble.  
They downed another drink, then a third. Fell was beginning to get uncomfortable. It had been a very long time since he'd drunk very much at all, and he'd forgotten that his own tolerance was, in fact, very low. As he downed his fourth shot, he swayed slightly. He was beginning to regret this decision.  
Blue put back his next drink, then he raised his hands curiously to his face. He smiled, big and happy, and turned back to look at Red and Comic, who were both sporting huge grins as they watched the show. "I think I'm starting to feel something!" Blue exclaimed.  
Fell stared at him in disbelief to a background chorus of the other's laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guys tell I have kind of a thing for the UnderFell Bros? Because I definitely do.


	6. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time we're in Swapfell! (And I still managed to slip the Fell Bros in. I didn't even mean to. It just happened. How am I like this?) This one isn't so much a headcanon as it is just a scene idea. I think this pairing has one of the most interesting dynamics I've ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 6, 14, 33, 42, 53

Sans had been pacing for the last hour. The whirling of his emotions wouldn't let him sit still, as much as he would have preferred the more dramatic scene that sitting stock-still on the couch would have brought. However, this didn't feel like a day to be dramatic.  
He jumped at the sound of the front door being unlocked, and he planted himself in the middle of the room. What was he supposed to do with his hands here? They hovered for a split second before he settled on folding them tightly over his ribs. He took a deep breath.  
No matter what, the Magnificent and Malicious Sans would not cry.  
The door swung open, and Sans was greeted with the sight of his brother, his lo--...no. Just his brother, with how Sans was feeling right now. Papyrus wore what he always did. Orange sweater, black, fur-lined jacket, black jeans. His golden canines gleamed in the light and his one working eyelight seemed brighter once he caught sight of Sans.  
He didn't seem to notice Sans's expression as he turned back to lock the door behind him. "I'm home" he said, unnecessarily. His voice, which normally filled Sans with happiness and peace, now only made him want to claw Papyrus's throat out so he could never speak again.  
"I can see that, you fucking bastard" Sans spat, not even trying to hide the venom in his voice.  
Papyrus turned back, finally seeming to notice something was wrong. He took a step towards Sans. "M'lord?"  
Sans stepped back precisely, in no way showing any fear, only disgust. "Don't you dare" he growled. "Don't you dare call me that, you...you fucking..." He would not cry. He absolutely would not. He simply wouldn't allow it.  
Papyrus seemed to fumble for a moment. Sans knew exactly why. Papyrus had been forbidden from using Sans's real name unless expressly told to do so, and now he had been forbidden from using Papyrus's name for him. The name which had served, for them, as a reminder of what they held for one another, what Sans had thought they felt for each other, a sign of love, of trust, of-- Sans cut himself off. Papyrus didn't deserve to use that name. Not anymore.  
"What--" Papyrus started to ask, but Sans cut him off immediately.  
"I found out about your little..." Sans crinkled his noseridge in disgust "indiscretion". His soul was burning, he felt as though he was turning to dust from the words that had just left his mouth. He would not cry, he would not!  
Papyrus didn't react immediately. Then he narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, clasping his hands behind his back tightly.  
Sans couldn't believe what he was seeing. He had been raised by the skeleton standing before him. He had been around him for all 20 years of his life. They had barely left each other's sides during that time, and Sans, of course, knew Papyrus very well. He had learned all of his ticklish spots, all of the things that drove him nuts, and he knew exactly what his brother looked like when he was about to tell a lie.  
"I'm not sure what you mean, sir"  
And there it was. Sans's arms unfolded, instead coming to rest at his sides. His fists clenched and he ground his teeth as he fought to keep his magic from flaring up. "You don't even have enough honor to admit it?" He snarled, almost too quietly to hear.  
Papyrus just kept giving him that stupid, tilt-headed look of false innocence. Sans wanted to rip it off of him piece by lying piece.  
"Despite what you seem to think, I am not ignorant. I am not blind. I am not stupid enough to think that you're just at muffets every fucking night, especially when you tell me that's where you've been and you've got the same stupid fucking look on your face you've got there now!"  
Sans could feel himself losing control and he stopping his tirade long enough to take a few deep breaths, to rein in both his magic and the burning behind his sockets. "I know you've been fucking around behind my back, and I know you...you didn't even tell him who you actually belonged to!"  
Papyrus had relaxed his hands, and straightened his face. He was regarding Sans impassively, seeming to realize, finally, that this wasn't something he could get to go away. "How did you find out?" He asked, far too calmly.  
Sans glared at him. "Why does it fucking matter? I found out. That should not be your biggest concern right now"  
Papyrus just stared at him, crossing his arms and drawing himself up to his full height.  
Sans would not be intimidated. He was stronger than this cheating asshole, he could turn him to dust within--Sans realized what he was thinking and cut himself off, horrified. He could never dust Papyrus. Had he really let himself get so angry that he was considering killing the person he loved most in the world?  
He dropped Papyrus's gaze, feeling almost unbearably guilty all of the sudden. "I was talking to Red, and I mentioned that we were together and he was shocked because he'd just been hearing from his brother the other day that he and you had been--had been--" Sans could feel that burning behind his sockets again. He forced it down.  
"Hell, that little fuck never did know when to keep quiet, did he?"  
Sans's head shot back up. His guilt was very suddenly gone. "That's what you're worried about? That Red can't read a situation?"  
Papyrus shrugged. "Yes, M'lord"  
"I thought I told you not to call me that"  
"Yes sir"  
"And I think you should be more concerned with me at the moment. Do you understand what this has done to me?"  
Papyrus regarded him, took in Sans's angry demeanor, his clenching fists, the anger in his eyes. "I am sorry, sir, if I have caused you any embarrassment"  
Sans's soul felt as thought it had stopped. That's what he thought Sans was angry about? He thought that he had embarrassed him? Was this actually Sans's fault? Had he been too commanding, made Papyrus feel as though he were nothing to him but a piece of property, a pet to be owned? Was this-- Sans caught sight of the look in Papyrus's eyes. There, concealed to anyone who didn't know him as well as Sans did...humor.  
Sans felt his soul crash even further. Papyrus was toying with him. "Oh, just go fuck yourself, you piece of shit" he snarled.  
The corner of Papyrus's mouth twitched up for a split second, and Sans realized what he had said. He took a half-stumbling step back.  
"Y-you think this is funny?" Sans said. The venom was gone from his voice, his eyes were burning again. He could feel his control crumbling, his composure slipping. He could feel the tears threatening to escape from his sockets and he knew his expression had shifted from one of anger to one of desperation.  
"You do something like this to me and you have the g-gall to l-laugh? What the f-fuck is wrong w-with you?" Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it. This conversation was not going at all the way he had planned. He had expected some kind of an apology, some sort of explanation, at least. He couldn't make himself look Papyrus in the face. He didn't think he had ever felt this weak.  
"Sans..." Sans felt phalanges under his chin, lifting his face to look at Papyrus, who was too close, he was way too fucking close, Sans didn't want to be touched by him right now.  
"Are you crying?" Papyrus asked in disbelief.  
Sans slapped his hand away. "Of fucking course I am, you son of a bitch. Get the hell out of my house" he said, much more evenly than he thought he still had the capability to.  
Now Papyrus looked angry. "Where exactly do you expect me to go? I'll get killed if I try to sleep outside"  
Sans felt his last vestige of control snap. He lifted both hands, bringing up his magic. With one hand, he unlocked and threw open the door, and with the other, he seized Papyrus's soul and threw him as hard he could through the doorway. He angrily walked the few steps to the door and screamed after him "Well then how about you find someone else to whore yourself out to? It's not like you need me taking care of you anymore!"  
With that, he slammed the door closed, locking it and holding it closed with his magic. He could feel Papyrus attempting to pound against the barrier as he sank to sit with his back to the wall beside the door.  
Being careful to keep the magic seal up, he let his head sink into his hands as he sobbed quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Hello There, Reader!  
> Do you feel awful? Tearful? Want to kick SF Paps directly in the dick?  
> Well, available now for the low low price of free, is a [continuation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8681998) that makes your heart feel much less torn in half, by the wonderful [SansyFresh!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SansyFresh/pseuds/SansyFresh) *Throws confetti*
> 
> Seriously though, this is amazing, thank you so much, Fresh, this was off-the-charts phenomenal, I don't even know how to thank you enough!


	7. Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something (heh) Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look at that, more self-indulgent nonsense! When will it stop? (Never) featuring random sexual jokes in the middle of the story that don't make sense but I think they're funny so screw it!
> 
> So this one started as a silly fic where everybody kept proposing to Blue as a joke because of how cute his reactions were and then I realized how annoying/devastating that could end up being and I ended up with this bullhonkey. (yes, bullhonkey. It's something my mother says, don't judge me). Idek. The original fic was just going to end at the part where it's like "blue decided to have a little bit of fun" or whatever it was and then I was going to do a part two where he just screws with them all right back and it was going to be funny but then my brain went "nah, let's make it weird" so here you go!

"Will ya marry me?"  
Blue looked down at Red, who was down on one knee directly in front of him, holding out a cherry-flavored ring pop.  
Blue was trying very, very hard not to roll his eyes.  
This had become a bit of a popular event lately. One night about a month prior, Comic, Red, and Stretch had decided to get drunk at the Grillbys in Undertale and then come over to Underswap, dragging a spluttering, sober Fell with them. They all sat down and the three drunk idiots traded puns while Blue and Fell attempted to keep the peace and separate them from each other long enough to distract them into going home and sleeping it off. Sometime during this process, Comic had been leaned very heavily against Blue as he attempted to support his swaying form into the next room.  
"Y'know, Blueberry" he had slurred. "You'd make a very good husband. You're just too sweet"  
Blue had smiled at him and continued on their way without responding. He'd long since learned that responding just encouraged their antics. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop anyone else from responding.  
"Holy hell, Comic, you're right!" came a drunken yell from the direction of the kitchen. It sounded like Stretch had his mouth full, which wasn't very surprising since Stretch always seemed to get hungrier when he was wasted. "Blue would be the perfect husband! He's like..." Stretch's voice stopped for a moment, seeming to be searching out the right words "a cook! And he's all nice and shit, and you'd never have to clean the house because Blue just does it!"  
Blue rolled his eyes at that. Stretch was living in a dream world if he thought Blue would marry anyone who--  
"Hey-hey Blue" Comic seemed to be trying to get away from him, so Blue let him go, though he kept his arms stretched out so he could catch the slightly bigger skeleton if needed. Sure enough, he started to immediately sink to the floor, but Blue's attempts to help him stand were waved off impatiently.  
Comic seemed to be having more trouble balancing than usual, so he settled on an awkward half-kneeling pose that almost resembled the scene that Blue had seen on TV many times.  
"We should get married, Blueberry. Marry me? Please?" Sans said, accompanying it with what he probably thought was a charming grin but was, in actuality, more of a half-dead grimace.  
Blue grinned at his friend's antics and held out a hand to help him back up. "I'll have to think about it, Comic. We can talk it over more when you're sober, okay?" He said gently. Comic tended to be a bit of a weepy drunk, and even though Blue was pretty sure he was joking, he really didn't want to set him off. Besides, Blue was pretty sure he wouldn't remember this in the morning.  
Sure enough, when the three idiots woke up the next morning, for the most part sprawled across the Underswap brothers' living room floor, nothing had been said about it, and Blue had assumed it had been forgotten.  
Two days later, there was a knock at the door. Blue was more than a little confused, however, because the knock came to the bathroom door, and he had just gotten out of the shower. "Papyrus, you cant come in, I'm not wearing anything" he'd called. He thought he'd heard faint giggling coming from the other side of the door, but he attributed that to his imagination. That theory was thrown out the window, however, when he heard someone whisper "perfect" followed by more giggling.  
Blue could hear Stretch stage-whisper "shut the fuck up!" before he cleared his throat and said, more loudly, "I know! I just have a question!"  
Blue was more than a little confused. He started drying himself off as he replied. "okay...?"  
"Do you wanna marry me?"  
Blue snorted a little louder than he meant to. "what?" He asked.  
"Let's get married!"  
"Papy, we're brothers. We can't get married."  
"I don't care. We can elope! Itll be romantic!"  
Blue sighed, finishing drying himself off and starting to put his clothes on. "Yeah, I'm really swooning. We'd still be brothers if we eloped. Are you drunk again?"  
Stretch spluttered. "what? No!"  
"I'm just drunk off my love for you!"  
Now that was definitely a second voice. It sounded like someone was trying to sound like Stretch, but their cadence was all off, and they held their vowels too long. Blue sighed again, and tied his scarf around his neck. Then he walked over to the door and swung it open. He was greeted with the sight of Stretch kneeling in front of the bathroom door, surrounded by all of those who had been present a few nights ago, as well as the swapfell brothers.  
Blue ignored the little audience and crouched down to his brother's level, gripping his chin tightly and looking into his eyes. His eyelights weren't hazy, but this whole scene didn't make any sense unless Stretch was drunk.  
Blue released his brothers chin when he'd looked for and not found any signs of alcohol. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you down, Papy. I'm sure you'll find a way to get over me, the Magnificent Sans!" He exclaimed, grinning and straightening up before he looked at the rest of them. The he shook his head. "I don't even want to know" he said, then he went downstairs to start making some dinner.  
And with that, the floodgates were opened. Blue was pretty sure that not two days had gone by since then where he had not recieved a marriage proposal. He'd been asked by Stretch and Comic alone at least six times apeice, and even Fell and Slim had asked him a few times each. Blue had been proposed to in the grocery store, on stage at a Napstaton concert (he'd smacked sans on the back of the head for that one), while he was doing the dishes, at a carnival, through his bedroom window, and, Stretch's personal favorite, in the middle of the void during a shortcut.  
However, he didn't let himself get frustrated. He never said yes, of course, but other than the concert incident, he'd made sure to be nice! But blue was getting so tired of this. Did these idiots think marriage was a joke?  
And so he found himself standing among the echo flowers in his favorite place in the underground, looking down at his best friend, who was one of the only ones not to have done this yet, and decided it was his turn to have a little bit of fun.  
Blue gasped loudly and grabbed onto Red's hands. "I'd love to!" He said excitedly.  
Red blinked. "Really?" Then he grinned "I thought for sure you'd think it was a--"  
Blue cut him off. "Of course, really! Oh, I'm so happy!" He pulled Red up and hugged him tightly. He was pretty sure he was laying it on a bit thick, but hey, the rest of then were probably hiding in the bushes somewhere and wouldn't it just be a shame if they didn't see what was going on?  
Red was hugging him back, and when Blue pulled away, he saw that Red had a huge smile on his face. Blue snorted internally. Of course he was smiling, he had won, hadnt he? Now Blue was half-wondering how far Red was going to go with this joke, and just how far he could get him to push it.  
"Let's go tell my brother!" Blue exclaimed. As if he didn't already know.  
Red nodded and grabbed onto Blue's hand, taking a shortcut to Blue's living room. "Hang on" said Red, "you still haven't taken this" he held out the ring pop. "it's cherry flavored" Red said, then he winked, his already huge smile growing.  
Blue found himself blushing as he took the ring and put it on, toying with it for a moment before he said "this'll probably turn my tongue red if I suck on it for long enough, won't it?" Then he base eye contact with red and winked right back, making it as exaggerated possible so red would know he was joking.  
Red turned his namesake as blue dragged him into the kitchen, where he knew stretch would be at this time of day. "Guess what, Papy?" He exclaimed.  
"You found a new taco recipe?"  
"Nope! Red asked to marry him, and I said yes!"  
At that, Stretch turned around quickly, taking in Reds blushing face and Blue's big, fake smile. His eyes flashed down to their joined hands, then he grinned. "We finally wore you down, huh? Decided to accept one to mess with us back?"  
Stretch really knew him far too well, dang it.  
"Actually--" started Red  
"How dare you insinuate such a thing, Papy! Red and I are getting married! I would never joke about something so serious" Blue could hear his voice getting more and more sarcastic that sentence went along, and at the end of it, he tried to let go of Red's hand only to find it locked in a death grip.  
He turned to look at Red, confused. He was standing stiffly, and his eyelights were gone. "Blue..." he said quietly. "Can I talk to ya for a minute? Alone?"  
Blue just looked at him, confused. Red tugged impatiently at the hand he still had a death grip on, pulling Blue out of the kitchen. Blue looked behind him and saw Stretch staring after them, a look of horrified revelation on his face. He heard Stretch make a sound of frustration just as they took a shortcut.  
They landed in the middle of Snowdin forest and Red immediately let got of Blue's hand before spinning to face him.  
"Blue, I was serious. I really want to marry you"  
Blue snorted. "Yeah, okay, sure. Just like everyone else. It's just a really funny joke to pretend to propose to people. Totally hilarious, I get it. I'm just getting a bit tired of it, alright? So could you do me a favor and tell all of them that?" Blue spun around and started to stalk off before Red shortcutted directly in front of him, cutting off his path.  
Blue started to go a different direction before Red growled in frustration and grabbed Blue by the cheekbones, pulling his face in and kissing him hard.  
When he let him go, Blue was surprised by the look of determination on his face. "I love you, Blue, and I want to marry you, okay?"  
Blue pulled himself out of Red's grip harshly and surprised himself by starting to cry.  
"T-this, this is j-just too far! I k-know you all think it's r-really funny to m-mess with the guy that'll p-probably never get m-married, but this really needs to s-stop! P-please!" Blue sobbed, and then he buried his head in his hands as his whole body shook with the force of them. "I'm j-just so t-tired of this. I k-know that I'm n-not exactly... y-you k-know...but that d-doesnt meant that I w-want to be r-reminded--"  
Blue was cut off by another wrenching sob, and he felt Red come closer, gripping onto him by his shoulders.  
"Blue, I don't know how to make ya believe me, but I am not jokin'. You're my best friend. I love you, and when those guys started screwin' with ya it just...made me realize exactly what I wanted, ya know?" He felt Red pull him into his arms, holding him tightly for a moment before releasing him.  
Blue sniffed, his crying having faded out for the most part, and he looked up at Red. He was surprised to see tears on Red's face as well.  
"Let's try this thing again" said Red quietly.  
He took the ring-pop off of Blue's finger and knelt back down.  
"Blue, I promise ya with all my soul that this is not a trick or a joke or anything but the absolute truth. You are my best friend, and I have grown to love ya more than anyone or anythin' these past few years. I want to spend the rest of my life learnin' to love you even more, and nothin' would make me happier. So, Blue, my love..." he grinned at how cheesy that sounded and held up the ring pop again "Will ya please marry me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I did a [thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9239672) that is, in a sense, a continuation/prequel/expansion of this. It is also chapter 50 of this book, however, so if you don't want to open another link just...wait 43 chapters? Hey, I don't control you, do what you want!


	8. Go Screw Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this one is short, but it's also stupid so hey  
> Red gets told to go fuck himself one too many times  
> These puns tho. Basically the whole first scene was just an excuse to use the thistle pun. Don't judge me
> 
> Warnings:bad puns (but I mean you are in the Undertale fandom, it's to be expected)

"SANS!!! GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWNSTAIRS, NOW!!!"  
Sans rolled his eyes and got up off his bare mattress, wiping his hands off on his shorts and somewhat agilely dodging the unidentifiable...things that were littered across his bedroom floor as he made his way out of the room.  
"What the fuck do you want, boss?" He shouted as he stepped out onto the landing, leaning over the railing and smirking down at the angry skeleton below him.  
"You left your post early, you lazyass!" Papyrus had lowered the volume now that Sans was in sight, but it was still enough to make his head hurt.  
"Sorry boss, you know I don't got the spine for the kinda work we do! Tibia honest--"  
"Shut the fuck up sans" came his brother's irate reply "and get down here"  
Sans, lazy as ever, elected to just take a shortcut downstairs. Papyrus jumped slightly when he appeared, then he frowned. "Seriously? Going down the stairs is that hard?"  
"I dunno boss, it can get pretty complicated, there are an awful lot of steps to follow"  
Papyrus growled in frustration and smacked sans lightly on the back of the head. "I need to you to help me with something" he said, turning to go back in the kitchen, leaving sans standing alone.  
Sans followed him in, and was surprised to see a giant bouquet of flowers on the table. "Wow..." said Sans, then he grinned and turned to Papyrus. "So... flower you doin', boss?"  
"Sans, I swear to Asgore, if you keep making puns--"  
"I'll be royally screwed?"  
Papyrus took a deep breath. "ANYWAY, I may have kinda pissed off Undyne today--"  
"That seems pretty fishy to me"  
Papyrus ignored Sans completely and continued "So I thought I should get her these to help make up for it. Do you think they will suffice?"  
Sans looked at them for a moment, then he grinned and turned back to Papyrus. "Well, boss--"  
"Don't you dare"  
"I think thistle do nicely"  
"Oh, go fuck yourself"  
Suddenly, Sans felt the world warp around him as though he had taken a shortcut, and then he landed face first on a carpet.  
As he sat up quickly, spitting out fibers and glancing around, he realized he was in the living room and almost called out to his brother before he realized that it wasn't his living room.  
Sitting in front to him on the couch was what looked like an exact copy of himself, as if Sans would ever be caught dead in what this other guy was wearing.  
He had on a black sleeveless shirt that bared his spine and sported a blue heart, a purple fur-trimmed vest, blue boots, and what looked to be extremely tight black leather pants.  
The skeleton in the couch grabbed the remote, paused whatever was happening on the TV, and leaned forward to look at Sans, his eyelights flickering into hearts for a split second.  
"Well hello there" he smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that Lust is so calm about this because this happens a lot.


	9. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is based off of an idea I had (I doubt I'm the first to think of it but it did pop into my head without inspiration. So what if, in Underswap, Papyrus still died first, but he's still the one who remembers everything? So he has no idea what happens after he dies but he knows it keeps repeating. And what if, yeah, Stretch has nightmares, but so does Blue, he is just really, really good about hiding them? Just until he isn't. 
> 
> Warnings: Night Terrors, Memories of Major Character Death, Violence, & Gore

Papyrus had always been a deep sleeper. That, along with the extremely low stamina that accompanies having only 1HP, made it so that as soon as he hit the bed, he was /out/. He didn't wake up for anything, and more than once, his brother had had to resort to drastic measures to wake him up on time for work.  
Maybe this is what made the nightmares so terrifying. He was usually aware that it was a dream, but no matter what he did, he was stuck. No matter how bad things got, he couldn't wake up. Even knowing it was a dream, it didn't matter. He still felt as though he was in danger, as though there was /something/ out there in the real world that had made its way into his dreams and wouldn't leave him be until he was dust.  
Of course, it probably didn't help that the nightmares weren't imaginary. Papyrus had always dealt mostly in memories, not that he could actually /tell/ anyone that.  
The nightmares had truly gotten so bad that he had decided, at one point, that if all sleep would do was terrify him, he might as well not even do it. He could stay up for a day or two, maybe even three if he didn't really move throughout the day.  
But sleep always found him. And with it, the human.  
Papyrus had heard once, probably from Undyne, that humans held the word monster to mean something that was awful, something that would hurt them, or eat them, or hunt them down and destroy them. Papyrus thought of the word human in much the same way at this point, especially this particular human.  
This one had some sort of power, the power to reset time, to relive the same moments over and over and over again. And Papyrus could remember it all. Hundreds of resets, the same week or so over and over. And he was the only one. He was alone with his nightmares, his /memories/ despite his brother's support.  
He remembered trying to stop the humans murderous rampage very quickly. He could tell whether or not they would be kind this time by how they acted when Sans tried to give them puzzles, and as soon as he had the chance to get them alone, he attacked. And, without fail, he always lost.  
He remembered his head being severed from his neck, falling to the ground as his body turned to dust around him. He remembered the feel of it, the gritty taste in his mouth as he fell face-first into what remained of himself. And he remembered how he always pleaded, begged, threatened them.  
"Don't hurt Sans"  
And there it ended. He would wake up in the next moment somewhere in Snowdin and time would be restarted.  
He had lived it so many times. He hated that he had to live it over again in his dreams.  
And so it was that tonight, he was sitting on the couch, Napstaton's awful music videos playing as loud as he dared to not wake sans, fighting hard to hold onto his wakefulness.  
It was a second day, and sans had all but forced him into patrols today, so he knew he wasn't likely to stay awake successfully.  
He felt his eyelights drooping and he shot to his feet. Today had been a pretty good day, he really didn't want to ruin it with that.  
He paced around the room, circling the couch several times and walking in and out of the kitchen until he was bored. Then he walked up the stairs, intending to pace the landing.  
He walked past his own room, then turned and went the other way, past Sans's room. As he passed quietly by the door, he heard a sound.  
He stopped, interested. He leaned his head against the door, listening closely.  
The sound cane again, louder this time. It sounded like...crying?  
"Papy...no...please..." came Sans's voice. A flash of memory had Papyrus opening the door and bursting through, ready to destroy whatever was hurting his brother.  
Sans was curled up on his rocketship bed, bare phalanges digging into his skull. Tears were running from his sockets and his left eyelights was lit up with his blue magic in an impersonation of fire.  
"Sans?" Papyrus rushed across the room, relieve that he at least didn't appear to be injured. His eyes were wide open, but he didn't seem to be responding. Was he having a nightmare? He grabbed him by the shoulders and shook. "Sans! Wake up!"  
Sans was breathing hard, still crying as he came to. He blinked and clutched onto Papyrus much harder than was probably necessary as he recovered.  
"Are you okay?" Papyrus asked carefully, holding Sans close.  
He heard Sans take a shuddering breath. "Yes, Papy. I'm alright. I'm really sorry to have woken you, it's just a nightmare"  
"You didnt wake me, it's okay" Papyrus felt Sans let go, and he let him slip out of the hug and lean back against the headboard. Papyrus settled himself down beside him and wrapped an arm around his smaller brother. Sans leaned into him, still seeming upset. "What was the nightmare about?"  
Sans sniffled again. "Well, it's one I have a lot. It's about a human coming to Snowdin"  
Papyrus froze and stared down at Sans. He continued, not realizing the reaction his words had caused. "They come and they just...there's just something wrong with them. They won't listen to anything we say, they just keep walking with this...dead look in their eyes. I get really upset, and you tell me to go ahead and go home and you'll talk to them, and see if they're alright because I...I thought they might be hurt or something. And I did, but then you didn't come home so I went to go look for you and I..." Sans was crying again, more quietly this time "I found your dust"  
Papyrus couldn't believe it. He wasn't alone. Sans remembered. He remembered! He almost missed what Sans was still saying.  
"I took your hoodie and I tied it around my waist and i went to find the human because I was...I was just so, so angry. I finally found them and I tried to..." Sans took a deep breath and buried his face in the side of Papyrus's hoodie. "I tried to kill them, Papy!"  
Papyrus just looked down at him for a moment. He knew, then, that Sans didn't really remember. If he remembered...not even Sans would have been able to bring himself to care about that human. "Did you?" he asked, almost dreading the answer.  
"I tried so hard...but it seemed like they knew exactly what I was going to do, how I was going to hit them. I could barely even touch them" Sans said, shaking his head.  
"They killed you?" Papyrus realized that he was crying now, too. He wouldn't say he was shocked, exactly. He knew that little...human wouldn't be merciful. He knew, somewhere inside, that Sans must have died too. But it was another thing entirely to hear it from Sans's mouth.  
Sans just nodded. "You know, it's funny, when they kill me, I don't feel myself turn into dust. I just wake up" he said softly.  
Papyrus held Sans tightly. His brother's bravery didn't really surprise him.  
Sans had always been brave.


	10. There Are Only So Many Skeleton Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is so dumb. I kinda love it though. 
> 
> So there are really a very limited number of skeleton puns, and Sans has had probably like 26 years to find literally all of them. Also, he's lazy as hell, so I feel like he reuses his old jokes a lot. And Papyrus is very tired of it and wants to show Sans some physical proof of how lame he is, but of course it doesn't work.  
> There's also some Alphyne involved for some reason. Idek. I'm having a small bit of writers block for [The Undying](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8610283) and hopefully this will help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/CrushingOnSans) [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/crushingonsans)
> 
> The best way to contact me is by email! crushingonsans@gmail.com

Undyne tended to get excited about everything. She was just a very excitable person! And while Alphys tended to express her excitement with jumping up and down, flapping her arms, and squealing, Undyne tended to get more intense. It wasn't really something something she could help (not that she really tried) so this was definitely not her fault.  
Now though, as she and Alphys stood over the remains of their broken TV, she didn't dare try to tell her very angry wife that.  
"They were airing all of the episodes of Host Club tonight! And now I'm going to miss them!" Alphys was yelling into the air. Undyne had noticed, the first time she suplexed the couch and accidentally dumped a sleeping Alphys onto the ground, that her wife stopped stuttering when she was angry. She had learned that day not only to check before she suplexed, but also to keep her comments to herself.  
"We could--" Undyne started  
"I was really looking forward to watching them! Damn that dog!"  
Of course Undyne had blamed the dog. Marriage was about honestly and trust and not getting your butt kicked by your tiny wife.  
"Alphys!" She said, a bit more loudly to catch her attention. It didn't seem to work, as Alphys continued rambling. So she grabbed her by the shoulders and yelled "PAPYRUS HAS A TELEVISION!"  
Alphys looked confused by the affirmation of their friend's ownership of a somewhat mundane household object. Then understanding lit up her eyes. "O-oh!" She exclaimed.  
Alphys pulled get phone out of her pocket and started to dial, then stopped and sheepishly looked up at undyne, who grinned widely, showing off her sharp teeth. "Don't worry, babe, I'll call them for you"

And so they found themselves sitting on the floor of the skeleton brothers home, bowls of popcorn on hand and Sans already half-asleep on the couch.  
Papyrus's eyes were starting to glaze over, having made the fatal mistake of asking Alphys what the show was about while they waited for it to start. She was talking a mile a minute and spoiling some pretty major plot points, but since Undyne had seen it, Sans was asleep or something, and Papyrus was quite possibly already dead, it didn't really matter.  
"Hey Alphys" Undyne said gently, taking pity on her friend. "I think you're nerding out a bit again"  
Alphys stopped mid-sentence and blushed. "S-sorry!"  
Papyrus seemed to blink back into reality. "OH, DONT WORRY ALPHYS! ITS QUITE ALL RIGHT!"  
Alphys blushed harder and muttered something about needing to use the bathroom before scurrying upstairs, seeming to have forgotten that the skeleton brothers didn't actually have a bathroom.  
"She'll have some trouble finding it" came Sans's voice. "I can feel it in my bones" then he snorted in laughter at his own joke.  
With a sigh, Papyrus stood up. "THATS THE THIRD TIME TODAY, SANS!" He said, beginning to make his way into the kitchen.  
"What? Hey, that's not going down on the chart, is it?"  
"OF COURSE IT IS, SANS. IT'S CURRENTLY THE MOST USED ONE YOU HAVE!" came the reply as Papyrus disappeared.  
Undyne looked at Sans in confusion, and he popped his head out from under his blanket. "Papyrus says I repeat my jokes too much, but, I mean, there's only so many skeleton puns, you know?" He shrugged. "What can ya do?"  
Undyne snorted. "Stop making skeleton puns?" She suggested.  
"Nah, I don't have the spine for it!" He said, followed by a quieter "ayyyyyy"  
"THAT'S GOING ON THE CHART, SANS!" Papyrus shouted from the kitchen.  
Curiosity finally getting the best of her, Undyne left Sans to his laughter and followed Papyrus into the kitchen. He was standing in front of the fridge with a pen, and, stuck with at least ten bone-shaped magnets to the front, was a large, homemade chart.  
It had the dates across the top and down the left side, there were printed an assortment of skeleton-based puns. Undyne could see "Tibia honest" right at the top, directly followed by "I feel it in my bones" and "anything at all about a funny bone".  
Papyrus, grumbling slightly, was currently making a tally mark under today's date where "I don't have the guts/spine for it" was listed.  
Undyne smirked as she looked at the chart, finally starting to laugh out loud as she noticed the over-abundance of "Bone appetite" on Thanksgiving.  
"Just put a tally on for the funny bone one, bro, I'm too lazy to actually think of a way to work it into a sentence for Undyne" Sans shouted from the next room.


	11. The Grass is Always Greener 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's 2:31 am. Tomorrow is going to be awesome. 
> 
> Anyway, part three of grass is greener! This one picks up right after part 1 (chapter1). Part 2 is more of a prequel sort of thing. 
> 
> Warnings:Panic Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 1, 4, 11, 17?, 18, 23, 30  
> [Full Story Version of This Series](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320)

"Alright, Boss. Before we go, I'm just gonna warn ya. Ya can't get all lovey-dovey in front of these guys, okay?"  
Papyrus looked affronted. "What do you take me for? Affection doesn't leave the house, I'm not an idiot" he said.  
Red made a face. "These guys seem like the kinda guys you would show affection around though. I just wanted to warn ya, don't do it"  
Papyrus grumbled under his breath for a moment before he realized that Red seemed to want an actual answer. "Fine! Whatever! Where are we even going?"  
They were currently tromping through the deep snow in Snowdin forest behind Red's sentry station. They were on their way to the place where Red always met Slippers, Dingus, and occasionally that artist version of himself or one or another of the many, many others that he couldn't care less to even make up names for. But Red had no idea how to even begin to explain that to Boss. "You'll see" was all he said.  
They walked in silence for a few minutes until Papyrus started grumbling again. Luckily, they were already in sight of the strangely cozy little cave, and Red just ignored him.  
They came up to the entrance and Red lead the way through, noticing that a fire was already going, but no one was to be found. He groaned inwardly. If Dingus had tried to "explore" again, Red was going to kill him, at least if he wasn't already dead.  
"Sit down" he told Papyrus somewhat more gruffly than he'd meant to, and he began stomping towards the entrance, intent on finding the little Blueberry and wringing his neck, when a portal opened and someone bounced through.  
"There you are!" exclaimed Red, turning quickly and grabbing hold of Dingus's shoulders.  
He laughed. "Hello, Red! I just forgot my bandanna! I never leave home without it!" His gloved hands reached up and gripped onto Reds left elbow and right shoulder, awkwardly changing pressure as though he wasn't sure whether he wanted to throw the hands off or pull Red in for an actual hug.  
Red went to let go at the same moment that Dingus reached the decision to hug him, resulting in a strange moment where the Blueberry was half clinging to him and he was trying to walk away. This led to Dingus bursting into peals of laughter that prevented him even trying to right himself. Red couldn't help the grin that lit up his face as he watching this childish version of himself have his fun.  
Then Papyrus coughed loudly, and Red remembered that they had an audience. He wiped the smile from his face and turned to his brother while Dingus straightened up and fixed his bandanna, still smiling ear to ear and giggling slightly.  
"Boss, this is Ding--Blue. Blue. And Blue, this is--"  
"This must be your Papyrus!" He exclaimed, clasping his hands below his chin as he literally went starry-eyed.  
Papyrus may have looked completely calm and collected to the casual observer, but Red could see the confusion in his eyes. "Ding-Blue Blue? What an odd name" was all he said.  
Dingus waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, it's just Blue! Red insists on calling me Dingus just because he knows how much it annoys me. But I assure you, the Sansational Blue will eventually change his mind!"  
"Good luck with that" came a familiar voice from behind Red. He turned quickly, only to find Slippers leaned casually against one wall.  
"You sneaky bastard, I didn't even hear your portal" Red grinned, clasping hands with him and thumping his back in a manly sort of way.  
"Sans, what the hell is going on?" Came Papyrus's voice. Red cringed slightly. He'd hoped that he would have a chance talk to these two quietly before having to explain anything to his brother, but that tone meant he needed to start explaining now before these two got dusted. Not that they wouldn't come back next time, but still.  
"Well, as you know, this is Blue, and this one we're supposed to call Comic" he began.  
Papyrus glared at him and folded his arms. Red realized that he'd never sat down. He really should have explained this better before they got here.  
"They're really, really good friends of mine" Red continued, "Actually, they kind of are me, but we can get into that later. They pulled me out of a dark place, and I just really wanted you to meet them" He sort of trailed off at the end, realizing that Papyrus still seemed pissed and not knowing quite why.  
Slippers stepped forward, holding out a hand. "Hey, man! Red speaks really highly of you, it's great to finally meet you!"  
Well that was a bold-faced lie. Red was fairly certain he'd done as much to avoid talking about his brother with him as much as he possibly could, other that to tell him that he did, in fact, have a brother.  
Papyrus looked down at the proffered hand and pointedly ignored it, choosing instead to take turns staring down both of Red's alternates. Slippers lowered his hand awkwardly. "Right then, not the touchy-feely type. Got it" Then he snickered, and Red knew he was about to do that thing where he says something without thinking about it first. "You sure you're Red's brother, man?"  
In a flash, Papyrus had grabbed Red by the hand and pulled him flush with his side before wrapping an arm around him to keep him trapped there. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" He snarled, oblivious to Red's reaction to him.  
As soon as he was grabbed, Red started to panic. Countless resets after falling out of love with Papyrus had been spent trying to avoid reminders that he could never escape this, and it had instilled in Red a profound dislike for being touched by his brother. Especially when his arm was around him and his hand was on his shoulder and holy hell the whole side of Red's body was pressed up against him and he needed out now.  
Red started to panic, his breathing speeding up and his eyelights disappearing, leaving him unable to see. This only furthered his panic, and he started to convulse in an effort to escape the unwanted embrace.  
"...T GO OF HIM!!!" Red suddenly became aware of shouting in the same moment that he was yanked out of his brother's hold and wrapped up in the arms of someone else, someone familiar and warm and who smelled faintly like cilantro.  
Red melted into Dingus's hug, surprising even himself when he started to cry. "I...I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I've never done that before!" he said, still crying.  
Dingus just rubbed his back, humming comfortingly and letting him cry all over his battle body. Red could faintly hear the shouting continuing on behind him.  
"HE'S MY BROTHER, YOU ASSHOLE, LET ME SEE IF HE'S OKAY!"  
"HE'LL CERTAINLY BE A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT BETTER IF YOU STAY THE FUCK WHERE YOU ARE!"  
"WHY? I...I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING!" Red heard desperation creeping into his brother's voice, and realized that he was scared. Hell, of course he was scared. Anyone would be. Red had brought him out to the middle of nowhere, introduced him to his clones, and then flipped out when he tried to touch him. This was the first day of the new reset. Red had loved Papyrus less than 9 hours ago, he didn't even know anything was wrong yet.  
Red extracted himself from Blue's hold, thanking him quietly before turning to face his brother.  
He was greeted with the sight of Slippers and Papyrus practically squaring off against one another, an almost comical sight with their extreme height difference.  
"LIKE HELL YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING!" shouted Slippers "DID YOU EVEN SEE THE WAY HE REACTED?"  
Red stepped forward. "Slippers" he said, too quietly to be heard over the tirade.  
Slippers just kept going. "YOU'VE GOT NO FUCKING RIGHT, BUDDY. YOU MAY BE HIS BROTHER BUT IF YOU'VE CAUSED A SINGLE ONE OF THOSE CRACKS, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A VERY BAD TIME!"  
"Slippers!" Red said, a bit louder this time. He felt Dingus step up and take hold of his hand, gripping it tightly to let Red know he was right there beside him.  
Slippers started to turn around just as Papyrus yelled "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE GOT NO RIGHT? I'M NOT JUST HIS BROTHER, WE'VE BEEN PARTNERED FOR THREE YEARS! THAT GIVES ME EVERY RIGHT TO SEE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG!"  
Slippers seemed to freeze. He turned the rest of the way towards Red. "W-what?" he choked out, looking completely shell-shocked.  
Red took a deep breath, ignoring the look on Papyrus's face when he noticed his and Dingus's joined hands.  
"Slippers, I really need to talk to you about some stuff. And I'm so sorry, but I really need your help"


	12. OT3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So this one is definitely going to become a series. I dont see Red x Blue x Classic Sans together as an OT3 very often and I think they have some of the cutest dynamics ever. They balance each other out really nicely, I think. So yeah. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Warnings:Violence against Lettuce (Red is a dick to green things)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 12, 16, 19, 29, 39, 44, 48, 56

Blue had always been under the impression that every day was an opportunity for something good. That there was no such thing as a bad day, only a day where things seemed to be going wrong for the moment. He had a firm belief that everything would always get better with a little time, a little effort, and, in some cases, a little bit of the right kind of love. He refused to call any day a Bad Day, choosing instead to call them a "stumbling block day" a fact which drove both of his boyfriends absolutely nuts.  
Today, Blue was having a Bad Day.  
He woke up late, found that he had forgotten to move his clothes from the washer to the dryer before he went to bed the night before, and so was forced to be out of uniform for the day. He had been late to work anyway, and it was only after he'd gotten there that he realized he has forgotten to wake Red and Sans, so they were late now, too. After he called in and secured them both a sick day, he had decided to patrol a bit and had managed to fall into an ice-cold stream. So his clothes had been wet and cold the entire day. He tripped over no less than a dozen rocks, falling into the snow each time and making himself even wetter and colder. During training with Alphys, he couldn't beat her even once, a fact that probably derived from the fact that he was pretty sure his finger joints had frozen up.  
He stomped through the snow on the way home. Why did he have to be the only Sans not to get the teleportation power? Or at least, the only one without the teleportation that was too nice to lead his brother around on a leash and so had the power there at all times anyway! Blue sighed. And now he was having negative thought about others.  
He was pretty sure that if Red and Sans had messed up the house in any way, he was probably going to take this bad mood out on them, and he really didn't want that. But there really wasn't much to do about it. He needed to get home and unfreeze.  
Finally, he got home, walking up the steps more tiredly than he thought he ever had before. He fumbled for his keys, and, of course, dropped them off the side of the steps into a snow bank.  
For a moment, he just stared at the little hole that showed where they were, then growled in frustration and kicked the potted plant on the doorstep, bruising a toe.  
"Frickity, frickin, dumb, frick, hate, hate, hate" he muttered under his breath, leaning down to rub at his toe through his boot. Then he sighed and extracted his keys from the snow bank, soaking his sleeves in the process.  
Finally, he got the door open and went inside. He tossed his keys down on the little counter and kicked his boots off in a snowy pile.  
"Sans!" he heard Red call from the kitchen.  
Blue took a few deep breaths, hoping it would help his mood and make him less likely to lash out.  
"Yeah?" came the reply from upstairs.  
"What the fuck is...cumin? Am I even sayin' that right? C-U-M-I-N?"  
"It's like a spice I think! Check the spice drawer?"  
Blue listened confusedly. What was going on?  
There was a pause and then Red shouted back "Where the hell is the spice drawer?"  
Blue could hear footsteps coming from upstairs. "Well how the hell am I supposed to know, just look in the--" Sans appeared at the upstairs railing, leaning over it and shouting down to Red until he noticed Blue standing in front of the door. "Blue! You're home!" He said, smiling.  
"Shit, Blue's home?" Came Red's slightly panicked voice.  
"Hi..." Blue said, which was apparently answer enough.  
There was the sound of a lot of muffled cursing and a small crash and then Red shouted "Don't come in the kitchen!"  
Blue dreaded to think of the size of the mess he was making in there, but elected to ignore it and instead focus on Sans, who had made his way down the stairs and was now wrapping Blue up in a hug.  
"Don't, don't, I'm all wet, Sans" Blue protested, though he settled into his arms anyway.  
Then he was very suddenly being scooped up and carried. "You're freezing!" said Sans as he carried him bridal-style up the stairs.  
"Put me down!"  
Sans just chuckled and made his way into the bathroom with him, finally setting him down on his feet. "Now take your clothes off" he said, turning his back to Blue and turning on the bathwater before looking back over his shoulder to see that Blue hadnt moved at all. He frowned and straightened back up. "Blue, those clothes have gotta be freezing. Come on, I'll go put them in the laundry" He turned away again and grabbed the bubble bath, adding a copious amount to the water, just how he knew Blue liked it.  
"I can't just strip on front of you!" Blue protested, earning a look of exasperation from his boyfriend.  
"Blue, we had sex like two days ago. It is definitely nothing I haven't seen before. Why do you always do this?"  
Blue just frowned at that and planted his feet, folding his arms in an expression Sans knew all too well.  
He sighed. "Fine, fine. Just toss your clothes out the door when you're done, okay?" Then he kissed Blue on the side of his head and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.  
Blue peeled his soaked clothes from his freezing body, tossing them out the door (and hearing a somewhat satisfying "oomph!" as they hit Sans) before he settled into the bath. The warm water felt like heaven on his bones, and he could feel his frozen joints loosening up. He settled into the bubbles with a sigh, finally letting himself relax after his very Bad Day.  
He turned the water off when the bath got full enough, and now he could hear Red and Sans bickering downstairs.  
"You can't just rip the lettuce apart with your bare hands, Red, you have to, like, slice it or something"  
"What if I've got a personal vendetta against the stuff and I wanna rip it apart with my bare hands?"  
"Why do you have a personal vendetta against the lettuce"  
"I dunno, it's green, I don't like green things!"  
"Unless it's mint chocolate chip nice cream, right?"  
"I'm sorry, do you want to cut the lettuce or do you wanna stick with burning the meat?"  
"The meat is not burnt! It's supposed to look like that!"  
"Sans, there are little black pieces in it"  
"How about you shut the fuck up and tear up your shitty lettuce?"  
There was a moment or two of silence, then a quiet "fuck yourself", followed by far more giggling than that oft-repeated joke deserved anymore.  
Blue smiled softly and closed his eyes. He'd been right before. A little time, a little effort, and just a little bit of the right kind of love could fix any bad day.


	13. Biggest Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look, another series! It's about what the big six's (classic, fell, and swap brothers) biggest fears are. So there will be six of these! Got the idea from [SansyFresh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SansyFresh/pseuds/SansyFresh), they're awesome, go read all 5 million fanfics they have out! xD
> 
> Warnings:Spiders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 13, 25

When Blue had first learned about yoga, he had almost instantly become enamored with the idea. He knew he had a tendency to become overexcited, and, having only 1HP like every Sans, it tired him out quickly. So here, practically gift-wrapped in the form of a DVD with a very thin woman on the front, was a way to both exercise and calm down!  
He was currently sitting on the carpet in front of the TV. The house was nearly empty, Sans and Stretch having gone to the echo flower cave (probably to smoke, no matter how much they denied it to their brothers) and the Fell brothers having gone to take care of some business in their universe. This left only him and Paps, who he knew would be more than happy to respect his need for quiet should he come out of the kitchen.  
The DVD was put in, Blue had shed his battle body, left only in the gray T-shirt and dark blue pants he wore under it, and he was ready! The very thin woman from the front cover appeared on screen, along with a different very thin woman and a very buff man.  
She started to give directions, her and her companions displaying the correct steps as she spoke. Blue did his very best to follow. After all, he was the Magnificent Sans! He always tried his best at everything!  
He seemed to have finally gotten the hang of it when she announced that this session was over and that now was the time that he was supposed to law calmly on his back and take deep breaths in order to calm himself. In, out. In, out. In--  
A loud screeching sound came from the direction of the kitchen, interrupting Blue's breathing. His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, pausing the DVD and running to the doorway just as another, somewhat girly, scream rang out, accompanied by a loud crash.  
"Paps, what's--" Blue started to ask as he peeked into the room, only to be nearly run over by a skeleton that was nearly double his size.  
Paps tripped over his own feet and crashed to the ground as Blue skipped out of the way.  
Blue turned to look into the kitchen, cursing himself for taking off his battle body. If something had scared Paps, he, the Magnificent--there...was nothing?  
The kitchen was completely empty. Nothing was out of place except for the spaghetti ingredients spread across the table and a fallen chair that accounted for the crashing noise he had heard.  
Blue turned back in confusion. "Paps, what are you screaming about?" He asked to the empty air, for the tall skeleton had already picked himself up off of his rear and high-tailed it up the stairs so he could hide behind a banister.  
"Is it gone?" Blue heard Paps ask, fear evident in his voice.  
Blue was more confused than ever. "Is what gone? There's nothing in there!"  
"There was a spider! Is the spider gone?"  
Blue looked up at him in disbelief. Then he found himself starting to smile. "Are you afraid of spiders?"  
"Yes!" Paps cried, still hiding. "Sans always gets them for me, but he's gone!"  
Despite Paps's obvious distress, Blue found himself giggling quietly. He tried to keep his volume down enough that Paps wouldn't hear him; he didn't want to embarrass him any further than he already had. He ducked into the kitchen quickly, tracking down the spider. It was about the size of a grain of rice, and appeared to be attempting to make a home beside the fridge.  
Blue carefully scooped it up and carried it through the house, opening the front door and depositing it outside. Then he went back inside and called up to Paps "okay, I took care of it!"  
He heard him stand slowly, and suppressed more giggles at the way he seemed to be trying to look overly dignified as he descended the stairs.  
"Thank you, Blue" he said, almost regally, as he passed him in the doorway. Blue leaned against the wall and watched Paps continue his work on the spaghetti, not missing the way he double-checked to make sure the spider really was gone. Suddenly, something occurred to him, and he smiled again.  
"Is this why you won't ever go to Muffets with us?"  
The other's immediate blush was answer enough, and this time, Blue didn't try very hard at all to cover up his giggles.


	14. Betrayal 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honor of "what the hell, SansyFresh just wrote me a gift fic, what even is life" here's a part two. If you haven't read [Betrayal Leads to Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8681998) go do that, because I'm calling that the canon part 2 for Betrayal, and if I decide to continue with the storyline like I am with Grass is Greener, it will be continuing off those events. This is more of a prequel, and hey, it fulfills a headcanon of mine that Slim is a shady mofo. Two birds one stone and all that! Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings:Papyrus is just shady as all hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 6, 14, 33, 42, 53

 

Monday had been Papyrus's favorite day of the week for a very long time. He knew that made him strange, considering the number of these so-called "memes" (that the overexcited version of his brother seemed so fond of telling him about) that cursed the day and everything it stood for.  
He didn't love Mondays because he was some sort of sociopath that actually enjoyed work. Far from it, in fact. He much preferred sleeping at his post to actually doing his job. No, Papyrus loved Mondays because Monday was inspection day.  
Every Monday night, Papyrus's brother would report with his second in command, Alphys, to the posts of select members of the Royal Guard, inspecting their armor and bearing if they were on duty, and the cleanliness of their stations if they were not.  
This meant that every Monday night, Sans would be gone until almost midnight. Which meant that every Monday afternoon, Papyrus didn't have to deal with the needy little fucker.  
He stretched out on the couch, Napstaton playing in the background, the violent music and frequently cursing lyrics only adding to his good mood. He let out a deep sigh of contentment, tugging off his collar and tossing it across the room. Stupid thing.  
Sans had insisted on it, had presented it to him in a pretty little black box on his birthday, telling him that Papyrus could wear it to remind him of who he belonged to. Papyrus was well aware that Sans had meant the gift to be a reminder that he was always with him, that the act they put on in public wasn't true, and the blah blah blah. Papyrus wished nothing more than to set the stupid thing on fire and tell his brother that he would rather Sans be anywhere but with him, but if he did that, Sans would get _upset_ and then he'd get all _whiny_ and then Papyrus would have to _deal_  with it, and maybe he would even leave.  
That idea might have even made Papyrus happy (He'd never have to listen to his whiny little voice again!) but oh, Sans was just so, much, _fun_. He certainly didn't want to give that up.  
But none of that meant he had to wear the stupid collar when his "owner" wasn't home.  
Papyrus hummed quietly to himself, then was startled out of his peace and quiet by loud footsteps on the porch.  
He shot up straight. "Aw...fuck!" He hissed to himself, practically jumping off the couch in an effort to get to the collar before Sans--  
The door swung open, and Sans stomped into the house. He turned to lock the door behind him, and turned back around just as Papyrus got the collar fastened around his neck. Sans paused, confused.  
"Why are you on the floor?" he asked, crinkling his brow.  
It always felt to Papyrus that he had pulled a mask over his face in these moments. He let a lazy grin settle across his face and bowed his head. "Too lazy to walk all the way to the couch, M'lord"  
He could see the way that Sans's soul seemed to pulse brighter when he used the title. Ugh, he should know better than to let his emotions out so freely.  
Sans snorted in disgust, and kicked out at Papyrus as he walked past him into the kitchen. "Come along, mutt" he said.  
Papyrus didn't have to resist very hard against the urge to roll his eyes at the obvious act anymore. He'd had a lot of practice.  
He stood as slowly and creakily as his acting skills could manage, then followed his brother into the kitchen. Sans had seated himself on the edge of the counter and was scarfing down a leftover enchilada that was still cold.  
He had just finished his last bites when Papyrus entered the room and asked "What are you doing home, M'lord? Isn't today inspection day?"  
Sans turned to put his plate into he sunk as he replied "I've left it to Alphys for today. Blue just contacted me to tell me that they've discovered another universe. Apparently the inept idiots transported into the middle of their living room by accident. Blue wanted us to come because apparently, their world is much like ours, only swapped"  
Papyrus sighed inwardly at the loss of his Sans-free afternoon, but perked up at the mention of a new universe.  
It was the scientist in him. He just loved new things.  
"Well, M'lord? Shall we go, then?" He asked, as demurely as he was able through his interest.  
Sans merely held out his arms in a very clear gesture. Papyrus, despite himself, was quite well-trained, and immediately moved to pick his brother up and cradle him in his arms, planting a kiss on Sans's forehead that he knew would leave Sans prideful and happy for at least an hour.  
"Yes. Take us to UnderSwap, dog. Now" Sans said, snapping his fingers. Before the sound even reached their ears, Papyrus had transported them into the home of their Swap counterparts.  
"Down" Sans commanded, and Papyrus was all too happy to comply.  
Suddenly, there was a flying ball of blue racing towards them, and Papyrus felt himself wrapped up in a giant hug the likes of which only the Blueberry could produce. Papyrus hugged him back, grinning despite himself. He never could help but be happy around this version of his brother. Stretch didn't know how lucky he was to have a brother like this, nor how lucky he was that Papyrus hadnt taken him for his own. Yet.  
Blueberry pulled out of the hug, practically bouncing in excitement, and stopped himself just before giving Sans a hug, instead choosing to awkwardly pat him on the back. Despite the fact that he had long since learned that the Swapfell brothers's brutality was mostly an act to increase their standing in their world, he didn't seem to want a repeat of the time he had been backhanded for trying to hug Sans.  
Even so, when he chirped, "It's so great to see you, Razz!" It was obvious he meant it.  
"They're in the kitchen!" Blue continued, leading the way.  
The brothers followed, seeming much less excited than Blue.  
In the kitchen, there was an empty chair that had obviously been recently vacated by Blue (judging by the glass of milk sitting in front of it) and beside that, Stretch was seated calmly. He gave Papyrus a nod, completely ignoring Razz, and turned his attention back to the two across the table.  
On the right, across from the seat Blue was now climbing back into, was seated yet another version of Sans. He had on a black, fur-lined jacket over a red shirt, and he sported a gold tooth in the left of what looked to be a near-permanent scowl. He reminded Papyrus a lot of himself, just...smaller, and squishier. Papyrus would have made a face if his mask weren't up.  
He turned his attention to the other, then, and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. He was clutching a cup of coffee in what appeared to be a death grip, as though he were imagining the mug to be the neck of some monster or another. His left eye socket was cracked almost like Sans's, except his seemed to have cracked in one clean line instead of a pair of them. His armor also reminded Papyrus of Sans's, except that it seemed to leave a bit more to the imagination, and it was far more suited to his tall, lithe figure. His teeth were sharpened to points, just like Papyrus's and both of the darker Sanses.  
Now this...this could really be fun.

It was long past time for Papyrus to get himself an upgraded toy.


	15. Children are our Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. UnderFell Brothers. That's new. 
> 
> I have a headcanon that Red is really good with kids and really loves them, and that Fell really loves them too, he's just not quite so great with them. So this is cute as all hell, if I do say so myself.

"What the hell is that thing?"  
Red frowned in his brother's general direction before returning to the problem at hand. "it's a little shit, that's what it is"  
There was currently a very small skeleton clinging to his neck as though he were a jungle gym, which didn't entirely feel good. But he couldn't tell the thing to stop without the use of his hands, which were currently occupied with preventing his asphyxiation.  
"That doesn't really answer my question" Fell grumbled, still looking a bit more apprehensive than any 7-foot, terrifying, skeletal captain of the guard had any right to be.  
"Well it's obviously a babybones" choked Red, attempting to both shut the door and keep the kid from dusting him.  
"Well I can see that, but where did it even come from?"  
"It's Comic's kid. He asked me to-ack!-watch him for the day"  
"AND YOU SAID YES?"  
"I couldn't help it, Boss, hes just so cute! You know I have no defense against cute things!"  
"Are we talking about Comic or the kid here?"  
Red's face lit up, not entirely from the fact that the kid was now pounding on his spine with his little fist. "Aw, shuddup. You know I was talking about the kid"  
He finally succeeded in closing the front door, and he made his way towards the couch, trying to get the kid to let itself be held, instead ending up with its back pressed against his front with his arms wrapped around under his shoulders.  
"Do you remember how to speak in hands?" He gasped out as the kid's kicking feet managed to nail him in the front of the pelvis.  
Fell made a so-so motion, clearly enjoying the show in front of him.  
"Do you know enough to tell him to hold still so I can put him down properly?"  
In answer, Fell signed to the kid, who immediately stopped thrashing. Red set him down gratefully, straightening and arching his back to pop the aching joints. The kid ran over to Fell, signing with his tiny little hands "Who are you?"  
Fell answered him "My name is Fell! What's yours?"  
"Serif. Do you know my mommy?"  
Red grinned as he sat next to Fell on the couch, enjoying the adorable conversation in front of him.  
"Yes, I do!" Fell answered, grinning widely. "Your mother is my brother's friend, so he comes to our house a lot"  
Serif looked confused. "Who is your brother?"  
When Fell signed out Red's name, the little guy looked as though he had had his mind blown. He turned to Red and quickly signed "I thought you were alone all the time! Mommy told me you loved mustard like it was your family!"  
Fell burst into laughter as Red fight to keep from grimacing. "Nope!" He signed back. "I'm stuck with this guy" He waited until Serif had been distracted again and muttered "motherfucker" under his breath, as though he was still afraid of being overheard by the child. He was going to kill Comic.  
Fell scooped Serif up onto his lap and Red, satisfied that the kid was occupied for the time being, stood up and went into the kitchen to see what Sans had given him in the "babysitting backpack" he had been gifted with.  
The answer, apparently, was applesauce. There were approximately 5 billion containers of applesauce in the main pocket of the backpack, along with a small first aid kit, some baby wipes, a change of clothes, a sippy cup, and a little bag of Cheerios. Then, in the bottom of the bag, there was a large bottle of mustard, "Thanks!" written messily across the back in red marker. Red smiled at the bottle for a moment before putting it in the fridge and packing everything back into the backpack as best he could.  
Leaving the bag on the counter, he ventured back out into the living room, only to be greeted with an empty couch.  
"Boss...?" Red called, peering around the room. No response. He frowned and made his way upstairs, peeking into Fell's room on the way to check his own. They both appeared to be empty. Then where...  
"Shhhhh" the shushing noise was very quiet, but Red knew he had heard it, along with the accompanying giggles from Serif. Red looked back into the room he had just vacated, and finally, he saw the tips of Fell's boots poking out from underneath his bed. He heard more giggling, louder now that he was in the same room. To be fair, the kid couldn't hear themselves, and probably thought they were being much quieter than they actually were.  
Red crossed the room in, well, a lot of steps, actually (he couldn't help that he had short legs, damn it!) and peeked under the bed.  
He was greeted by the sight of his brother on his back with the toddler half on top of him, signing quickly for him to be quiet, they didn't want Red to--  
"Boo!" Shouted Red, flapping his hands. Serif just squealed and flapped his hands back when he noticed, but Fell sat up quickly in fright and knocked his forehead against the underside of the bed.  
As his brother groaned and rubbed his head, Serif crawled out from under the bed and hugged Red's legs tightly, still giggling. "It should be illegal to be as cute as you", Red said aloud, rubbing the little guy's head fondly.  
Serif made a face so reminiscent of Comic that Red couldn't help but smile, then he dutifully tapped the place where his ears would be, as he had been taught to when someone forgot to sign instead of speaking.  
Red smiled and signed "I just said you're very cute"  
The little guy smiled as big as he could and let go of Red's legs to sign "I know!"  
Red grinned back (who wouldn't?) and then said "what do you say we check on my brother?"  
Serif nodded as decisively as a three-year old could, and then he crawled back under the bed. Red crouched down so he could see, and watched as Serif tapped on Fell's face. Fell had closed his eyes and had his jaw hanging open as though he was sleeping.  
Red almost didn't catch him signing to Serif "I cant wake up my face is broken" but Serif certainly caught it, and he immediately started to cry. Fell quickly opened his eyes and tried to reassure him, but only succeeded in bonking his head again, which sent Serif into a new round of wailing.  
"Red! How do I make it stop? I don't know how to deal with crying!" His brother's panicked voice was certainly a memory Red was going to have to pack away for a later date, but for now, he thought he'd best not antagonize him anymore. He reached under the bed and pulled out the sobbing babybones, who was closely followed by Fell.  
Red held Serif close, bouncing him for a moment and thrumming his fingers on his cheekbone in a soothing sort of way like he's seen Comic do many times. "Sign to him that you're okay" he instructed his brother, who immediately stepped behind him, into the line of sight of Serif, to do so.  
Serif had stopped crying within a few moments, and then he curled in closer to Red, clutching tightly to his shirt. Red knew he only acted like this because being held by Red felt like the same thing as being held by Comic, but he let himself pretend, just for a moment.  
He set Serif down when he seemed to have calmed, and signed to him "what do you say we go try to make a dent in all that applesauce your mom sent you with?"  
Damn, he really would do anything to make this kid smile, wouldn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kid comes from Sans the Deliberately Single Parent. I guess. idek, don't question it.


	16. OT3 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of this, my new favorite ship of all time.  
> My headcanon for how the multiverse works is actually that all the Sanses would have the same birthday, but that wouldn't have worked for this, so hey, screw it, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 12, 16, 19, 29, 39. 44, 48, 56

Red's birthday had never really been anything to get excited about. Parties tended to be ill-advised in a world where torture was an acceptable activity to put on job applications. He would have preferred to forget the day altogether, but Fell had always done something to commemorate it. He'd gotten him his collar one year, made his favorite meal for dinner another year. He'd never made it a big deal, but that was how Red liked it. The day he was created wasn't really one to be celebrated when it just marked yet another year living in hell.  
Of course, he didn't have to worry about that anymore. This said, it wasn't much of a surprise that the day snuck up on him. He really had no idea until the day had actually come.  
The day started off like any other. He woke up with Sans half wrapped around him, still sound asleep, with the sounds of Blue making breakfast echoing up from the kitchen downstairs. He took a deep breath in, enjoying the smell of the new air freshener Sans had come home with the day before. It smelled like...cinnamon? Or Apple Spice Tea? Something like that.  
He rolled over to face Sans and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer and snuggling into the blankets. It was the weekend, which meant Blue would probably give them an extra ten minutes or so to sleep in, and he intended to enjoy those ten minutes as fully as possible, so he let himself drift back to sleep, Sans's head tucked under his chin and that apple scent wafting through the air.  
Of course, sleep could never last with the Sansational Blue anywhere in the vicinity. Red was given a very rude awakening when something landed on him quite suddenly, almost knocking the breath out of him. Sans woke at the same time, swearing under his breath and his eye lighting up for a split second before he realized what was happening.  
Red opened his eyes as slowly as he could, turning to face their attacker with a look in his eyes that would have made any monster from his world turn tail and run, but just made the monster on top of them giggle and peck a kiss onto his forehead.  
Blue cuddled down into them, covering them both in kisses and only responding to their tired groans with exclamations about the magnificent breakfast that awaited them downstairs and how they needed to get up and greet the day.  
Sans buried his head into Red's chest and mumbled something that neither of them could understand, but Red knew was probably not complimentary. Then he gently pushed Blue off and sat up, accepting the inevitable. Blue tried to sit up too, but Red pulled him back down and planted a solid kiss on his mouth before flicking him on the forehead and saying "What did we agree about the whole 'jumping on us while we're sleeping' thing?".  
Blue grinned, completely unabashed. "To not to. But you won't wake up otherwise, and besides, I love surprise cuddles! And you know that you do too!"  
Sans made a vaguely sarcastic noise from the direction of the closet, and Red agreed with him. But he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, even as he said "Still, Blue, it does kinda hurt"  
He let Blue up and got out of bed, dressed in a red tank top and black shorts. He regarded himself, lifting the edge of the shirt to sniff cautiously. It _was_ the weekend he could probably just--  
"Don't you dare, Red" came Sans's voice again. "I know what you're thinking because I thought it too, but you do not smell good enough to wear those again" he peeked out of the closet, regarding Red with a glint of humor in his eye.  
He appeared to be shirtless, and Red grinned. "I'll change if you come to breakfast like that" he drawled, leering at Sans as comically as he could manage. He heard Blue snort behind him and turned to look at him, taking in his light blush and the way he leaned against the door almost too casually, and winked exaggeratedly at him.  
Sans chuckled, then pulled a blue sweatshirt over his head. "In your dreams, Cherry" he said, then grabbed a new set of clothes and tossed them at Red. He decided to accept his fate and pulled his tank top off, tossing it at the laundry hamper and missing. Sans picked it up and put it in the basket as he walked by, then he took Blue's hand and led him out of the room. "fuckin' exhibitionist!" he called down the hall, causing Red to break out in quiet laughter and Blue to reprimand him on his language.  
Red dressed quickly and headed downstairs, following the smell of pancakes into the kitchen.  
Sans was already working on a huge stack slathered in syrup, and Blue was making up two more plates. When Red walked in, Blue handed him his stack with a smile and then took his own seat. They ate quietly for a few minutes, and then Blue broke the silence with an exclaimed "Oh! Hang on, I need to ask you guys something!" Then he stood up quickly and disappeared from the room.  
Red looked at Sans, but he just shrugged, and then Blue was back. He had the wall calendar with him, which meant he was going to do some scheduling.  
Ah, scheduling. Blue was, if nothing else, a monster of routine. He planned out every event in advance, carefully copying down the details onto the much-mocked calendar that hung by the front door, and if something was not written on the calendar, Blue would not be present.  
He sat in front of them, setting down the calendar and taking out a pen, carefully crossing out Friday and so bringing the calendar up to date. Then he turned his attention to the next Monday and said "Do either of you know of anything happening Monday night that you've forgotten to write on the calendar?"  
"Nope" said Sans at the same time that Red said "I don't really do anything, ever, so..."  
"Great!" Blue said, "then you'd both be available to go visit Papy and Fell? They've invited us over for dinner that night"  
"Only if the great calendar demands it of us"  
"We are yours to command, O merciful calendar"  
Blue studiously ignored them and wrote down the details for the dinner, and Sans and Red traded grins.  
Red's gaze drifted down to the all-powerful calendar, and looked at today's date. Wait...  
He looked closer, in case his eyes were tricking him. "Oh." he said aloud.  
Blue glanced up at him from his writing, and Sans said "what's up, Red?"  
Red smiled for a half a second, then it dropped. "I guess I'm 27" he said. Then, having finished his pancakes, he stood up and took his plate to the sink, not even noticing the shocked silence he left in his wake.  
"Wait...what?" said Sans from behind him, sounding confused.  
"I'm 27! I didn't realize the date until just now. In fact I'll bet that's why they want us over to dinner, Boss usually does some sort of dinner thing or whatever" Red said over his shoulder, rinsing his dish and putting it in the dishwasher.  
"I...oh, no, Red, did we miss your birthday?" Blue sounded genuinely upset, which of course immediately caused Red to turn around and see what could possibly be causing him to sound like that.  
"Blue what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked, taking a few steps forward and taking the pen out of his hands before wrapping him up in a hug.  
"Red, did we miss your birthday?" Sans asked from across the table. He sounded upset too, but in an slightly different way than Blue.  
It was then that Red remembered the huge celebration that had been thrown in honor of Sans's brother to commemorate the day he was born. He realized, very suddenly, why the other two were upset. And then, he just couldn't help himself. He started to laugh.  
Blue pulled partially out of his hug and looked at him, seeming even more upset, and Sans just looked confused. "Sorry...sorry!" Said Red, still laughing slightly. "No, no, you didn't miss it, it's today. I'm sorry, I just forgot that you guys...ha, I forgot you guys actually celebrate birthdays here!"  
Blue still looked sad, though, and Sans had stood up and come over to Red, hugging him tightly. He planted a kiss on his forehead and said, quietly, "Happy birthday, then, Red".  
Blue stood very suddenly, knocking both of the others off balance and causing Sans to land flat on his butt with Red half in his lap. "Oh, Red, I wish I'd known! I mean, we can still throw a party but it will be very late notice! I'll bet everyone that you'd really want to be there would be happy to come, though! I'll get the calls sent out and then Sans is going to have to cook, don't even make that face at me, we both know you're perfectly capable of mixing cupcake batter, I'll do the actual baking part, and oh, red might have to go get the decorations, I wouldn't normally want you to since its your birthday but I simply don't think we'll have the time otherwise and then we can--"  
Red stood up, doing his best not to step on Sans, and put his hands out in front of him in a position faintly reminiscent of begging. "Please don't!" he said, interrupting Blue. "I don't want a big celebration or anything, I don't really even want people to know if they don't have to. Its just my birthday, it's not a big deal, I never really celebrate it, it really isn't important"  
Red felt Sans wrap his arms around him from behind at the same time that Blue stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek.  
"It's your birthday, Red. That's important" Sans said softly.  
"Especially to us" Blue said, looking determined and taking both of Red's hands in his own. "We don't have to do a party if you really don't want to, but I don't want you saying that your birthday isn't important. It's the anniversary of the day you were born!"  
Red snorted even as he felt himself melt into them. Damn it, since when was even capable of feeling this much love? "Whats so special about the day I was born?"  
"Well, if you hadn't been born, then we never could have met you! And I dont know about Sans, but my life has been so much better than I ever could have imagined since I met you!" Blue said, holding his hands even tighter and pulling them into his chest.  
Sans planted a kiss on Red's collarbone, then tucked his head into the crook of his neck, then added quietly, "We love you, Red. More than you know or believe sometimes, I think. Even if you don't want to celebrate, can you please let us?"  
At the panicked look on Red's face, Blue quickly added. "Not a party. We promise, not a party. It would be just the three of us. Please, Red, let us celebrate the fact that you exist, and that we get to have you?"  
Red could feel tears starting to gather in his eyes. Before these two, he'd never even considered that his life was something to be celebrated, that his presence might be something to be thankful for. Before these two, he hadn't had a whole lot to be truly happy about.  
But here, in the kitchen on a Saturday morning, the morning of his 27th birthday, the scent of cinnamon and pancakes in the air, and the two people he loved more than anything right here with him...  
Red nodded and said, thickly, "of course. Yeah, we can do somethin'. I mean, if you want to, and all that"  
Here, he had finally found a reason to celebrate.

"I love you two so fucking much"  
"Red, since it is your birthday, I won't make you put a dollar in the swear jar"  
"Damn, I think I'm going to like this whole birthday thing!"


	17. Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about how resets would work if they were the ever-repeating cycle with nothing ever changing, and I just got this idea in my head like "hey, if Chara found out how to control how repeating everything was, they could totally use this to mess with Sans!" So I'm going to use the world from Grass is Greener (but Undertale instead of UnderFell, so this one is about Slippers but before he met any other Sanses) to break your hearts again. Yay!
> 
> Warnings: brief suicide mention

Every reset was always the same. Every single run, the same five days over and over and over. Sure, Sans could do something different, but after a while, even the most creative of people would start to run out of ideas, and Sans never claimed to be creative. And yeah, the anomaly could do something different, but there were only so many combinations of who they killed and who they didn't before even those started to become patterns. So he just repeated everything, the same five days, over and over and over again.  
Day 1 always started exactly the same way. He woke up hungover. He wished he could at least remember the night before, but it was so long ago that he'd long since forgotten what he'd done to earn such a severe headache and the large bruise that had bloomed up his sternum. He hoped it's been fun then, at least.  
He always groaned when he woke up, as one tends to do when they feel like shit. The first couple of resets, he was pretty sure he'd gotten out of bed and gone to get some aspirin, greeting his brother in the hall, but he'd long since started just staying in bed and waiting for Papyrus to come in and wake him.  
"SANS! GET UP, ITS TIME TO START A NEW DAY! IT STOPPED SNOWING!"  
"Uggghhhhhh"  
"COME ON SANS! YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IF YOU GET UP AND GREET THE DAY!"  
Then he was off, practically running down the stairs in his perpetual excitement.  
The same conversation, every time.  
And so Sans hauled himself out of bed, like he always did, and had breakfast, like he always did, and went to work, like he always did, and fell asleep at his post, like he always did.  
Four days later, he wished Papyrus a good night and went to bed, like he always did. The anomaly had been relatively kind this time, seemingly adamant on the extinction of Froggits, and only Froggits, for whatever reason. Sans didn't pretend to understand its reasoning.  
Sans laid down and closed his eyes. At least he hadn't been forced to find his brother's dust this time.

Sans was awoken the next morning by the sound of Papyrus bustling around the kitchen downstairs. He took a deep breath in, savoring the warmth from his blanket and the smell of bacon in the air. He relaxed into his bare mattress, not wanting to get up quite yet. He was way too comfortable, he could go back to sleep until Papyrus came to--  
Sans's eyes shot open. Wait. This wasn't right. He was comfortable. There was no bad taste in his mouth, no headache, only warmth and nice smells and general good feelings. There had to be something wrong.  
Sans jumped out of bed without bothering to put on a shirt and ran down the stairs into the kitchen, coming to a screeching halt at the sight before him. Papyrus. Papyrus wasn't wearing his battle body. Papyrus wore his battle body all five days and he had  _taken off his battle body._  
Sans stood there in shock. Nothing new ever happened. It was Day 1, the anomaly couldn't possibly have done anything to disrupt the timeline and make his brother act differently yet, and why was his hangover gone? What the hell was going on?  
Papyrus turned around then and spotted Sans. "OH! HELLO! I AM SORRY I DID NOT WAKE YOU UP, I WAS DROPPING SOME BAKED GOODS OFF AT THE FUNERAL HOME"  
Sans couldn't stop staring. He hadnt seen his brother out of his battle body in what was probably years. He'd almost forgotten what Papyrus looked like in his favorite, warmest sweater. Hell, he'd forgotten that Papyrus even had a favorite sweater. What had happened to make this run so strange?  
"F-funeral home?" He managed to choke out.  
Papyrus looked at him in a reprimanding sort of way. "For those poor Froggits. No one seems to know what happened, but their dust has all turned up. I told you this yesterday, Sans!" He was quieter than usual now, as though he were starting to realize that there was something wrong.  
He remembered? He remembered! Papyrus had never remembered a reset before, it has only ever been Sans. Wait, but he said he stopped by the funeral home? That wouldn't make sense, that's not something you would do right when it started over--no. No way. It couldn't possibly be--  
"Sans?" Papyrus looked very concerned now, having turned off the stove and kindness in front of him so they could be at eye level. "Sans, what did you do to your sternum!" He exclaimed. Sans barely glanced down. He didn't remember what he'd done, and he couldn't care less that he'd forgotten to put a shirt on upstairs.  
Sans felt tears start to run down his face unbidden as he stared at Papyrus, taking in the new sweater, the new breakfast, the new look on his face, all of these things that weren't really new but they were the first different thing Sans had seen in far too long and-- "Papyrus... it's Day 6!" he sobbed out, jumping forward and wrapping his arms around him.  
"Sans, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Papyrus cried as he was squished in Sans's desperate hug, but returning anyway because that's just who Papyrus was, he was kind and wonderful and God, now Sans could have a chance, he didn't need Papyrus to remember any more because it was Day 6, he would never have to repeat again because it hasn't started over, the anomaly hadn't taken it all away this time, they had let time continue forward, Sans could finally be happy.  
And with that, Sans pulled out of the hug only to kiss Papyrus with everything he'd ever wanted to, with everything he'd been holding in for hundreds, thousands of resets, with all of the love he'd held trapped down inside because of how damn _terrified_  he'd been of it starting over and losing everything and oh, God, he was kissing Papyrus, what the hell was he thinking?  
He pulled back again, almost panicking. If it wasn't going to start over again, and Papyrus didn't want this, he'd just ruined everything. Papyrus would never want to look at him again, maybe he would even leave, he'd never want to--  
Sans's panicked thoughts were abruptly cut off by Papyrus grabbing him by his shoulders and pulling him back into the kiss. He felt himself practically melting with relief. He hadnt been wrong, he hadn't been that much of an idiot to think that maybe, just maybe, Papyrus loved him too.  
They broke apart again, breathing heavily. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to do that" Papyrus murmured, tracing a thumb along Sans's cheek.  
This was the best God-damned day of his entire life.  
Sans couldnt help the new flood of tears that made their way down his cheeks as Papyrus leaned their foreheads together and wrapped his arms around him.  
"Why are you crying?" He heard Papyrus ask.  
"I-I'm just so-- I'm so happy, Papyrus. I n-never thought w-we would ever b-be--" a new wave of happy tears joined the first, Sans not even bothering to try and wipe them away.  
"I'm happy too, and I must confess I also had my doubts that we would be able to--"  
"No, you don't understand!" Sans interrupted, and suddenly everything came spilling out. The resets, the anomaly, the hundreds of times that Papyrus had died, leaving Sans alone, even the times Sans had ended his own life first just so that he wouldn't have to live through it all even one more time, and how he always woke up in that same damn bed anyway.  
Papyrus listened quietly through the whole thing, never letting go of him, and occasionally reaching up to wipe away Sans's tears.  
When he finally finished, he was hiccuping from all the crying, and Papyrus was looking at him as though he'd never seen him before.  
"Well that would explain how you've been acting the last few days. I don't think I'd ever seen you so... Apathetic"  
Sans realized that Papyrus was crying now, as well, and kissed his cheek as gently as he could, then hugging him close. "I'm going to be alright, now that it's over. Now, I have everything I've ever wanted"  
"You know Sans, someday I hope to be half as strong as you"  
Sans leaned away in surprise, looking at Papyrus's face and finding no trace of humor. "You're kiddin', right? Did you miss the whole blubbery crybaby thing a second ago?"  
Papyrus shook his head thoughtfully, then said "That is not what I meant. Crying does not mean you're weak, it means things have been hard and you're finally letting it out! You are so strong! I never would have been able to come out the other side of what you've been through"  
Sans looked into his brother's eyes and counted his lucky stars that Papyrus was here, and safe, and that now, finally, he could  
be happy.  
The rest of the day passed in a blur. Papyrus didn't take very much convincing at all to call in sick to work, which Sans found surprising. He just hoped Undyne wouldn't notice anything suspicious about both brothers calling in sick on the same day. Or at least that she wouldn't bother them about it.  
There were more tears, more hugs, more kisses, and at the end of it all, Sans was the happiest he had been since long before the resets started.  
He never wanted to let go of Papyrus, never wanted him to leave his sight. Finally, he could be happy. Finally, it was over. Finally.  
That night, when Sans yawned for what was probably the five hundredth time, Papyrus just picked him up and carried him bridal-style up the stairs.  
"Paps! Put me down!" Sans cried, trying not to laugh.  
"I DON'T THINK SO, BROTHER. YOU ARE CONTINUALLY YAWNING AND I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE EXHAUSTED! YOU ARE GOING TO BED!" Papyrus exclaimed. He had returned to full-caps mode at some point during the day, and Sans was happy to hear it.  
He sighed in mock defeat as they reached the landing, but he frowned when, instead of turning down the hall to head to his room, Papyrus kicked open his own door. "What are you doin', Paps?"  
He was surprised to see a blush come over Papyrus's face. "I..I GUESS I JUST THOUGHT...I CAN TAKE YOU TO YOUR ROOM IF YOU--"  
Sans laughed slightly. "Nah, bro. Rather be with you" and he tucked his face into Papyrus's sweater in a lame attempt to hide his blush.  
Papyrus's happiness was practically radiating off of him as he finished going into the room, setting Sans down on the edge of his bed and going into his closet to get changed. Sans crashed under the blankets and settled into the pillow, closing his eyes. Papyrus's bed really was ridiculously comfortable. Maybe Sans's bed would be this comfortable if he ever bothered to put sheets on it. Oh well.  
He felt Papyrus crawl into bed behind him, and, after a moment's hesitation, Sans rolled over and tucked himself into his brother's side, holding him close and wishing he could hold him closer. He felt Papyrus return the hug, and they stayed just like that for a while, their breathing matching, the fingers of one's hand tangled with the other's, just taking in the moment.  
"I love you, Sans" he heard Papyrus whisper.  
"I love you too, Paps. Always have, always will. Don't you ever forget it"  
He felt Papyrus plant a kiss on his forehead. "I won't" he promised gravely, and it sent a shudder through Sans's soul.  
They drifted off like that, tangled together, smiles softly curving on both of their faces, happy.  
Finally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Sans woke up with a headache. He tried to sit up, and groaned when he felt the pain lacing across his sternum. "Ugh" he muttered under his breath. Suddenly, his door flew open, and Papyrus was outlined in the doorway, a giant smile on his face.  
Sans felt himself light up for a moment at the sight of him.  
Then, he realized.  
"SANS! GET UP, ITS TIME TO START A NEW DAY! IT STOPPED SNOWING!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know this one didn't fulfil it's potential. I really love this idea, but (don't hate me) i really do not like UT Paps in fanfiction. He's great in the game itself but idk I just really don't enjoy writing him, or even reading him most of the time (there are definitely exceptions). 
> 
> Again, if it really bothers you, you are always free to adopt ideas and make something better than I can. I'd love to see what you create!


	18. The Grass is Always Greener 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 of Grass is Greener, yay!
> 
> Look at me, back it again with posting on this way too often and completely neglecting the fics that are supposed to be my main fics.   
> Seriously, this was supposed to be for side projects when I have writer's block. But I think it's making it worse because I keep getting ideas for this.
> 
> Anyway, take this pile of angst. There aren't any warnings just a lot of yelling and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 1, 4, 11, 17?, 18, 23, 30  
> [Full Story Version of This Series](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320)

"Please just go in the kitchen, Boss. Seriously, we've been over this like four times" Red sighed, trying and failing to make direct eye contact with his brother's searching gaze.  
"You have not explained this to me well enough at all, and you know it" Papyrus hissed.  
Red rubbed his eye sockets. "Yeah, I know, Boss. But...I just can't tell you anything else. It wouldn't make any sense to you right now. Please just go and cook with the other Papyrus" he sighed.  
He could practically feel his frown, but his brother didn't say anything more on the subject. Instead, his voice much softer, he asked "Are you sure you're okay, Sans?"  
Red smiled weakly and forced himself to make eye contact, if only for a second. "Yeah, Boss. I'm fine, I promise. I just need to sit down and talk to these guys. And I need you to do what you do best"  
Papyrus smiled. "and what do I do best?"  
"Well it's certainly not making spaghetti but go do it anyways"  
Papyrus laughed and made a motion like he was going to kiss Red, who honestly couldn't help how he immediately took a step back and flinched. Papyrus's face grew very sad, then he bid Red goodbye and went into the kitchen.  
Red took several deep breaths, then he went into the next room.  
Dingus was sitting on the couch, and when he saw Red, his face lit up into a giant smile, as always. Red never could help but smile back.  
Slippers was sitting in one of the chairs, and he couldn't have painted much more of an opposite picture from Blue. His legs were tucked up into his chest, and his arms were wrapped around them so tightly he was creaking. His eyelights had been reduced to pinpricks, and he was staring at the floor as though it were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen.  
The artist version of them all was pacing circles in the middle of the room and mumbling to himself. Red couldn't quite remember what he'd been told his name was... Paint or something like that, right?  
Paint stopped pacing when he noticed Red, and he motioned for him to sit on the couch. "This is a near-impossible problem you've brought to us, Red. You must know that it's been asked by nearly every one of those that rememeber before now and it's only been possible in two cases"  
Red went and sat down next to Dingus as he asked "When was it possible?"  
Dingus piped up then, and Red jumped slightly because of how close they were sitting to one another. "With me, and with Razz, actually! With the Swap universes, it's the Papyrus that lives through the resets and remembers everything, but Ink was able to make us remember all of the resets"  
Red turned to Dingus. "How was that possible?"  
This time it was Ink who answered. "Well, for Blue, it was a fairly complicated process. He has the kind of soul that connects very easily to others, and so I was able to link his soul to a few of the original Sanses and transfer some of what makes you remember over to him"  
Red frowned. "I'm pretty sure that won't work for my brother. He doesn't connect very easily to others"  
"And he would have to connect with other Papyruses who remember anyway, because you can't just connect two souls that have nothing in common. We haven't found enough swap Papyruses for it to work, there are only three at this point" Dingus said sadly.  
"Well what about that other guy?" Red asked.  
Dingus sighed and quietly said "What is it with you and names? It's Razz, seriously..."  
Red grinned at him, and then Ink was talking. "Well, Razz actually had a situation somewhat like yours, but Slim had no desire to lose his relationship with his brother. It probably helped that we found them early on, and Slim only had to live through a hundred or so resets before we were able to track down his universe and help his brother remember."  
Now Red was confused. "But how did you do it?"  
"Razz and Slim had a soul bond that was formed before the resets started. Because of that connection, we were able to feed the memories through, and that sparked something in him and he was able to remember"  
Red jumped out of his seat and grabbed Paint by his shoulders. "Well then, that's it! Use that, that'll work!" He didn't think he'd been this excited since he discovered the nice cream that was more than abundant in Slippers's world.  
He heard Dingus from behind him "Red, you need a soul bond for it to work."  
Red spun, a huge smile on his face, as he said, "I know, I was listening! We have one! This'll work! We can-- what?"  
Dingus was staring at him with a look of barely concealed horror, but that didn't compare to the somewhat terrifying anger that was now coming from the now all-too-present Slippers.  
" _You have a soul bond with him?_ " Slippers growled.  
Red took a half a step back. He'd never seen him like that before. "Y-yeah?"  
Slippers had let go of his legs, and now his fists were clenched and he was almost shaking in anger. "You have a _soul bond_  with him, and all you can think about is getting rid of him?"  
Now Red was mad. "You have no idea what's going on with me"  
Slippers stood up and crossed the room, getting right into Red's face. "You know perfectly well that I would give _anything_ \--"  
"No!" Red yelled, and then he was the one in Slippers's face. "No, you don't have _any fucking idea_ what is going on with me. I _love_  him, and yes, it used to be something else, something more, but I still love him. He's my brother, and I can't help the fact that I don't feel how I used to. I fucking hate breaking his heart over and over and _over_  again, and I don't want to do it any more! So shut the fuck up and sit down, _you have no idea_!"  
The room was entirely silent. Slippers's face was slipping between anger and an entirely broken expression that Red was far too familiar with from looking at his own face.  
"Red..." came a voice from behind him. Dingus...Blue. Blue laid a hand on his shoulder, tugging slightly. Red stepped back, out of Sl-Comic's personal space. He felt Blue's arms wrap around him, and quiet tears soak through the shoulder of his T-shirt.  
He looked down in surprise. Blue had his head buried in his shoulder and he was shaking silently with the force of the tears running down his face. "Blue? What's wrong?"  
"I...I just...I'm so s-sorry you have to...d-do this! And C-Comic, you h-have to...You all j-just.." he was crying more and more and his breathing was becoming more ragged.  
Red turned himself around and hugged Blue. He really did have the kindest, most open, and compassionate soul Red had ever seen. It wasn't any sort of surprise that his openness and the large availability of Sanses had been enough to be equal to something as powerful as a soul bond.  
"Please don't cry" Red and Comic said at the same time. They glanced at each other, only able to make eye contact for a split second before Comic dropped his eyes.  
"I'm sorry" Comic muttered. "I didn't even think about how painful it must be for you, having to chose between living a lie and hurting someone you love. I just..."  
"No, no. It's okay. I understand. You...you've been living with a lot of pain for a long time.  
"So have all of us. It's no excuse"  
After a moment, Blue stopped crying and pulled himself out of Red's arms. He reached out instead to grip tightly onto his hand, reaching with his free hand to pat Comic on the back in a way that was probably meant to be vaguely soothing, but somehow became awkward in a fashion that had all three of them giggling like small children.  
Ink cleared his throat awkwardly, and they stopped laughing to look at him. He was staring at them with a very strange expression on his face. "I will never understand you three" he said. Red remembered him saying something similar the very first time they had sat down and talked, just the four of them, only the second time they had all come.  
"Anyway, Red, yes that should work. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you sit down and explain everything to your brother, just the two of you. You really do--"  
"Owe him that much" Red finished for him. "I know. You forget, I've done this many, many times before. It just...hasn't had any permanence to it for a very long time"


	19. OT3 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The origin story. No fucking logic here, don't question it
> 
> Warnings:Implied/Discussed sexual content and alcohol use because screw it, Blue's an adult too. Panic Attack?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 12, 16, 19, 29, 39, 44, 48, 56, 60

 

Sans's head was pounding when he woke up. He groaned aloud and pressed the flat of his hand against his forehead. "fuuuuckk" he mumbled. Damn it, he definitely had not drunk enough water last night, had he?  
He tried to bring his other hand up to rub at his eye sockets, only to find his arm was trapped under something. He opened his eyes slowly, grimacing at the light, and looked down.  
He was greeted with the sight of Blue, with his head tucked up against Sans's bare ribcage, breathing softly. Sans had an arm wrapped around him from underneath, and now that he knew what had it trapped, he could feel that Blue also appeared to be bare-boned, a fact that was confirmed when he shifted slightly and his bare pelvis scraped against Sans's.  
Sans just stared for about a split second, then he let out an undignified shriek and half-jumped, half-rolled out of bed, landing hard on the floor with a loud thump.  
What the fuck? What the actual fuck? Why was Blue naked and in his bed? Why was Sans naked? He hadn't gotten that drunk, had he? Apparently he had.  
Blue looked over the side of the bed at him sleepily. "Sans? What are you doing down there?"  
Sans just stared at him, unsure how to respond. Oh, God. What had he done? This was Blue, sweet, innocent little Blue who had set up a swear jar and who didn't seem to understand any of the jokes Sans and Red threw around sometimes and-- oh  _shit. Red._  
"Sans?" Blue was still staring at him, seemingly very confused.  
"I...I'm just...I don't know. I'm..." Sans couldn't seem to string any of his words together coherently.  
"You must be freezing!" Blue said, and he threw the blanket off of himself and stood up on the other side of the bed. Sans averted his eyes out of habit, then realized that wasn't really necessary anymore, was it? That part of him that Sans tried to keep shoved down as far as he could seemed to be surfacing, and it sure seemed to be happy.  _Fuck!_  
Blue pulled the blanket off of the bed and then came to Sans's side, sitting next to him on the floor and wrapping the blanket around both of them. "Are you okay, Sans?" he asked after a moment.  
Was he okay? No. Of course he wasn't okay. He was a piece of shit. He remembered full well now why he had gone off to get drunk.  
"Yeah. I'm fine"  
Blue frowned at him, but let it go. "You were pretty drunk last night, weren't you?" he commented, blushing slightly.  
"Yeah...I kinda figured. Were...were you too? I-I mean, how much d-do you rememeber?" Sans managed to stammer out.  
Blue looked at him for a moment, seeming confused. "No, no. I don't drink, remember? Do you not remember it?"  
Sans just shook his head, and Blue's eyes widened. "well that would explain why you freaked out a little bit there" he commented.  
Sans snorted. "Yeah, you know, the part where I woke up with my best friend's boyfriend in my bed didn't freak me out enough on it's own" he commented dryly. Then he dropped his face into his hands and groaned. "I'm such a piece of shit" he mumbled.  
Sans didn't remember how he had gotten Red and Blue to move in with him, but it had started out as the best decision he'd ever made. There was nothing better than waking up to Blue's cooking in the morning, and, despite his many protests, he actually quite enjoyed the loud (awful) singing that accompanied Red taking a shower. It was peaceful, and there was a certain amount of contentment that came with living with his two best friends.  
It really wasn't much of a surprise when Sans had found himself falling for them. It had happened just a little bit at a time. He noticed how his soul would give a little jump when Blue grabbed his hands like he did when he got excited. He found himself smiling on every rare occasion of Red actually laughing. Every time one of then walked into the room he was in, he could actually _feel_ his soul light up.  
The night before, he'd been sitting in the living room with Red, watching TV, when Blue had come home from work. He'd been incredibly excited about something, Sans couldnt tell what because Blue was talking so fast. He was jumping up and down and clapping his hands and generally being adorable. Red had stood up and crossed the room to try and calm him, laughing loudly. Sans had been smiling, watching this, watching how happy Blue was, savoring the rare event of Red's laughter, when suddenly, they were kissing. Red and Blue, kissing, right there, out of nowhere. They'd both looked about as shocked as he felt.  
Of course. Of fucking course that would be his luck. Not only do the two people he finds himself having fallen in love with not love him back, they'd fallen for each other.  
Sans had felt the burning of tears behind his eye sockets, and his soul had felt as though it had dropped out the bottom of his ribs. It was such a sharp contrast from what he had been feeling only a moment before that he had no idea how to deal with it. So he had quickly stood up and, making a quick excuse about letting them talk about things, he left.  
The sound of Blue's voice broke him out of his reverie. "You really don't remember what happened last night, do you?"  
Sans, confused, was about to ask what he was talking about when the door opened and Red was standing there.  
Sans's conflicting emotions were making it hard to think, but he knew one thing for sure. He had really screwed up.  
"Red, I'm so sorry. I-I got so drunk last night, I don't even remember anything after I had been at the bar for a little while. I swear, I didn't mean for this to happen! I would never do that to you, to either of you" he was rambling, wasnt he? He didn't think he'd ever been so terrified in his life. God, he'd really screwed up. He'd just managed to lose both of them for good. He'd have to move out, they'd never want to speak to him again.  
Red wasn't moving, just staring between him and Blue, who, despite the situation, hadn't made any move away from Sans.  
"How dare you. You slept with my...with Blue, I cant believe it, how could you, traitor" Red's voice was oddly flat, but Sans felt himself start to panic. He'd ruined everything. He'd lost them, he'd lost them for good, and on top of that, he'd destroyed their happiness. He couldn't believe he had let himself be so completely stupid. He started to shake, wrapping his arms around himself, and tears started to run down his face.  
"Whoa, hey, whats all this about? I was in here a second ago, I just had to take a shower! Sans, don't cry, it's okay, I wasn't serious!" Red's voice sounded slightly panicked now, as though he wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation.  
"Red, he doesn't remember anything from last night" he heard Blue say, but he couldn't comprehend what they were saying. He was crying so hard now he could barely breathe, great, wracking sobs ripping through his lungs as he realized what an idiot he'd been for ever thinking he could be happy, even for a moment. Everything always went to shit, he should know that by now.  
"Aw, fuck, Sans, no, come on, I thought you were joking with me. Dont do that, please don't cry! You dont need to cry, it's alright! It's okay, I promise, hey, Sans, it's okay, it's okay"  
Sans felt arms wrap tightly around him and then he was gathered up against someone's chest, ribs pressed to ribs. They started to take deep, exaggerated breaths, and Sans found himself copying them. "Breathe, Sans. Just breathe" Blue murmured.  
"I'm so sorry" he heard Red say quietly. Blue said something back to him, but Sans didn't hear it. He was just focused on the movement of the ribs against his. In, out. In, out. In, out. Deep breaths. He felt himself coming down from his panic, the tears stopping.  
Finally, he had calmed down enough to comprehend the words they were saying to him, and he immediately turned to make eye contact with Red, the last one to speak.  
"What did you just say?" he asked incredulously.  
Red's whole face turned his namesake, and he stammered a little before saying "I...I l-love you. Sans. I love you"  
Sans just stared at him for a moment.  _"What?"_  
"So do I, Sans. We both love you. We really do. It's all okay" Blue said softly from right beside his face.  
Sans turned to look at him, suddenly aware of how close they all were to each other. "What happened last night?" He finally asked.  
"After you left, we had that talk you told us to have. We realized something was wrong with you, but we just thought you were afraid we would kick you out or something" Red said.  
Blue picked up from there. "You came home about three hours after you left, and we could tell you'd been drinking--"  
"You are very good at pretending not be as drunk as you are, by the way" interrupted Red "I never would have guessed you were anything more than tipsy, let alone blackout drunk"  
"--So we tried to talk to you, to reassure you that we weren't going to make you leave" continued Blue, ignoring Red. "and you just kind of...lost it. You said that you weren't going to be able to stay with us anyway because all you would do was screw things up for us. I asked you why and you said that it was because you loved us both how we loved each other. You said you wanted us to be happy, but that you couldn't be happy watching us love one another. That it would break your heart." Blue looked as though he was about to start crying, and Sans found himself cuddling closer in an attempt to reassure him. He felt Red's hands grab onto his own and his thumbs stroking along his metacarpals.  
This time it was Red who spoke. "Then, Blue, he, well, he told you that he loved you just as much as he loved me, and I felt the same way, and I told you too. And you just...you just looked at us for a while. Then you...well, then you, um...kissed me. And I'm sure you can figure out where it went from there" he said, nodding towards the exposed ribs and spines of the other two and blushing even more.  
Sans knew that Red hadn't ever done very well with emotional stuff, and he was honestly surprised Red had made it as far into that paragraph as he did. He noticed, however, that Red was looking at him and Blue with that same love-struck, adoring look he always made fun of in movies.  
His soul skipped a beat and he found himself just starting at them, first one, then the other. "You love me?" He whispered.  
"I love the both of you more than I think I've ever loved anyone before" Blue stated matter-of factly at the same time that Red simply said "Yes"  
Sans started to cry again, but this time, there was none of the gasping panic that had accompanied the tears last time.  
"I...I didn't...Why?" He finally asked.  
They looked confused.  
"Or.. I guess... How? How could you possibly... How could you love _me?_ "  
Red looked as though someone had stabbed him through the stomach. He was looking at Sans like he'd never seen him before. "How could we not, Sans?" he asked.  
Blue settled his hands on Sans hips as he said "Sans, you are amazing. You are kind and caring and strong, and you just...make me feel as though there is something worthwhile to all if this" He leaned forward and settled his face into the crook of Sans's neck, wrapping his arms all the way around him. "I love you. So much more than I'll ever be able to tell you" Sans heard him say against his bones.  
Sans felt tears fill his eyes. "I love you too" he whispered, letting go of one of Red's hands to wrap an arm around Blue. Then he turned to Red. "You too. I love you too" he said, looking him directly in the eye.  
Red smiled when he heard it, then he said "You know, since you don't remember the last time does that make this your first kiss?"  
Sans blinked, confused. "My what?"  
Then Red's free hand was moving, and he cupped Sans's chin, pulling his face forward slightly to meet his own.  
And Sans was kissing Red.  
He was kissing Red. And he had Blue's arms wrapped tightly around him and his breath on his neck. They were sitting on his bedroom floor, and Sans had a headache, and he was  _kissing Red._  
Maybe he did have a chance to be happy, after all.


	20. A Quiche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh the formatting got messed up. Oh well, I care about as much as the length of this chapter. 
> 
> I was rewatching Undertale the other day and I came across "It was like a quiche but filled with a sugary, non-egg substance" and I was like "OH MY GOD IT WAS A PIE" and then this happened? There was supposed to be hints of Soriel but I just kinda liked it how it ended up? Idk it's really short but im putting out another chapter about something else later today so you guys can deal lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/CrushingOnSans) [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/crushingonsans)
> 
> The best way to contact me is by email! crushingonsans@gmail.com

Sans stood in front of the stove anxiously. He didn't think he had ever been more terrified in his life. He stared at the timer, trepidation filling his soul. 3...2...1... 

He lunged across the small space before the timer even started to beep, ripping open the oven door and peering inside.  
Well, it wasn't on fire. That was always a good sign.  
In his anticipation, he almost grabbed it with his bare hands, catching himself at the last second and grabbing a pair of oven mitts out of the drawer and pulling out his creation. He set it very carefully on top of the stove and turned off the oven.  
Then he looked at it. He prodded it with the tip of a finger, hissing when he was painfully reminded that it had just come out of the oven. It...looked all right? It didn't seem to be blackened, just slightly browned and crispy.  
It smelled...well, it smelled fantastic, if he were being honest. But, judging by Papyrus's last attempt at Spaghetti Surprise, smell really was no indication of taste.  
Sans sighed deeply. He couldn't eat it yet. The directions had specifically stated that he was to let it cool for quite a long time before eating it. Damn, it really did smell good.  
He carefully transported it to the counter, setting the oven mitts down beside it so he wouldn't forget to use them if he decided he needed to move it later.  
He just stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do now. TV? TV.  
He walked backwards out of the kitchen, unwilling to let it out of his sight any longer than was necessary in case something screwed it up. He wasn't looking where he was going, so it was a pretty big surprise when he walked backwards into something a lot more solid than an open doorway.  
"WOWIE, SANS! YOU CAN COOK?"  
Sans froze. Crap. If this ended up being a successful endeavor, he didn't want Papyrus to know it. Then he might actually make him cook dinner sometimes.  
"Yeah...yeah, bro" he said nervously, turning to face his brother. Now, Sans was not well known for being quick at much of anything, but he was at least supposed to be witty and good with words. His constant stream of puns would attest to that. "It's a... quiche"

 _What the hell was that?_  He thought to himself, but he made himself grin at his brother like he normally did. 

"A QUICHE?" Papyrus asked, taking a deep whiff of the air. "IT SMELLS STRANGE, SANS"  
"Oh, but I'm sure it'll taste egg-celent"  
The distraction worked wonders, and Papyrus gave him the look he always did when Sans made a pun. "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?"  
"I dunno, bro, I'm just--"  
"STOP RIGHT THERE! NOT ANOTHER WORD!" Papyrus said quickly, cutting Sans off by covering his mouth with one hand. "WELL, BROTHER, I SUPPOSE THAT IF YOUR CREATIONS SMELL AS STRANGE AS THIS ONE, I WILL CONTINUE TO BE THE THE GREAT COOK!"  
Sans, relieved but still unable to speak, just nodded in a way that he hoped looked like that wasn't the exact outcome he had been hoping for.  
Papyrus let go of his mouth and bustled into the kitchen as Sans watched. He always hummed while he worked, and it made Sans smile.  
He took a deep whiff of the air. He supposed cinnamon and butterscotch would be a strange smell for a quiche, wouldn't it?


	21. Why Are You Talking To Yourself? (WAYTTY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So this one comes from an idea I had about there being different versions of the same AU (or similar AUs). I will explain that idea further in the notes instead of the summary. But for this series im just going to jump directly into the interaction and not bother with setting up a scene (sorry, setting that crap up over and over gets boring sometimes). You can imagine some sort of big multiverse party or meeting if you want, just suffice it to say that they're in the same place and able to talk to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Berry is a version of UnderSwap Sans that is extremely childlike. He's entirely innocent, he's drawn with the giant bow on the back of his neck, etc. If you're really into undertale like me you probably know what I'm talking about. Then there's Blue, who acts like an actual realistic adult but is also just incredibly excited about life and is generally a happy person. This is also the Blue I tend to write. He can be a little naive, but he's not completely clueless like Berry. The big thing that caused this is that Berry is the little brother and Blue is the older brother in their respective families. Okay, now that that's out of the way, enjoy!

 

"What do they call you?"  
Blue stopped walking and looked to the side in search of the somewhat high-pitched voice, and found a much shorter Sans standing there. He smiled and put out a hand. "Blue! What about you, little guy?"  
"I'm Berry! Papy decided to call me that, and Classic said it fit me, so everyone calls me that now!" The little voice piped up as he reached out to shake hands.  
"Which universe are you from?" Blue asked, although he thought he already knew from the similarity of their clothes.  
"I'm from UnderSwap! Or, one of them, at least! Aren't you from UnderSwap, too?"  
"Yes I am!"  
"Oh, that is so cool! It's super weird that all of these guys are us, isn't it? They don't act the same at all!"  
Blue grinned and started to make his way across the room again, inviting Berry to join him as he walked towards the kitchen.  
The little skeleton skipped after him, still chattering away. "I really like Papyrus, though! The one from Undertale, I mean! He's really nice and almost as magnificent as me!"  
They walked into the kitchen then, where the Fell brothers were sitting at the table, glaring at anyone who looked at them, and UnderLust Sans was talking to Classic Sans next to the fridge. Blue walked towards them, waving a hand slightly to tell them he needed to get by without having to interrupt Berry.  
Lust didn't seem to have any problem interrupting, however, as he called out "Well, shit, Blue, I didnt know you could be all commanding like that"  
"Language!" both UnderSwap Sanses said at the same time, Blue's deeper voice being overrun slightly by Berry's exclamation.  
Lust just laughed, and Classic rolled his eyes with a smile. "Oh, man, now there's two of them" he stage-whispered. Then he tugged Lust out of the way so that Blue could get to the fridge, and Berry continued chattering as though nothing had happened, lifting himself up so he was sitting on the counter next to where Blue was standing.  
"Do you want to join the Royal Guard too? I've always wanted to join the Royal Guard. Alphys has been teaching me magic attacks, and working with me on ways to increase my stamina, but even if I were strong enough, you have to be at least 20 to join the Royal Guard!"  
Everyone in the room looked up at Berry in shock when they realized what he'd said.  
"What?" He asked, confused.  
"How old are you, Berry?" asked Red, leaning over the table slightly in interest, despite Fell snorting and leaning back in his chair.  
"I'm 19! I'll be 20 in just a few months, though, on May--"  
"24th, yes, we know" interrupted Lust again, "You're only _19?_ "  
"Dont even think about it" mumbled Blue as he extracted his goal from the fridge and went in search of a bottle opener.  
"Yes, of course! I'm from UnderSwap, remember? Everything is switched, so Papy is my big brother!" Berry said, completely unaffected by the shocked air of the room.  
"Blue's 25, same as us" said Classic, gesturing at Blue, who had found a bottle opener and popped the top off his drink just then. In answer to Classic's statement, he just raised his bottle in a toasting motion and grinned.  
Lust took a step forward and clinked his bottle against Blue's, then turned to Berry as the little guy piped up.  
"Oh! So we're still pretty different, aren't we?" He looked disappointed, glancing at the drink in Blue's hand in a somewhat disappointed manner.  
"No, not that different, I don't think. You're both just about the sweetest people I've ever met" came a voice from behind them, and they all turned to see Stretch had walked in. Blue handed him the bottle and he immediately took a large swig from it. "You were taking a while, bro, thought I'd come see what you were up to" he said, thumping Blue on the back affectionately, who folded his arms and glared at him, though there was no real animosity in his gaze.  
"Why did you ask me to get you a drink if you were just going to come into the kitchen anyway, Papy?" He asked.  
"Eh, got bored. Besides, it's using the bottle opener that I didn't feel like doing. _Way_ too much effort"  
"Is this your brother?" asked Berry excitedly, and at a nod from Blue, he said "Wowie! You're lazy just like my Papy! He didn't even want to come!"  
Stretch frowned. "Isn't that Swap? He's right out in the living room"  
"Yes, well" Berry started, leaning in conspiratorially "He said that he doesn't trust anyone not to corrupt me"  
Lust started laughing at the same time as Fell, who then glared at Lust. Lust just cocked an eyebrow at him, then handed his beer to Classic before holding his hands out towards him, one hand in a fist and resting in the flat palm of his other hand. Fell nodded and they conducted a rapid game of rock-paper-scissors which ended with Fell flipping Lust off as he performed a particularly explicit victory dance.  
While this was happening, Berry was still chattering away, now about his brother's laziness. Blue listened, asking questions and interjecting his own stories about Stretch, who just snorted and walked out of the room, flipping off a now-angry Fell as he went.  
"Hey Berry" started Lust, interrupting the stream of chatter yet again.  
"Yes?" He asked happily.  
"Wanna get your namesake popped?"  
" _Really?_ " said Blue, snorting with laughter along with Red and Classic.  
"Dude, that's what you're gonna go for? _'Wanna get your namesake popped?'_  Come on, man, you're better than that" said Red, still laughing.  
Berry just looked at them all, confused. "What does that mean?" he asked, causing a new bout of laughter to start among the three other Sanses.


	22. Tis the Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god? Thank you so much for 100 kudos? How did this even happen?
> 
> So it's Christmastime and I thought "hey, why not have some Xmas fluff?" Here, take the fluffy PapyaBerry mixed with vague sadness (thanks UnderFell, you always come through for me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 22, 28, 34, 41

"FALALALALALALALALA!"  
Blue and Papyrus yell-sang together, as they had for the better part of the afternoon as they untangled cords and tracked down boxes.  
"DO YOU KNOW ANY MORE CHRISTMAS SONGS?" asked Papyrus as he finished untangling the string of lights he was on and picking up a new one with a sigh. "THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR LETTING SANS TAKE DOWN THE DECORATIONS LAST YEAR"  
In answer to his first question, Blue launched into a particularly boisterous version of Silent Night, and Papyrus had only joined him for a moment when the front door rattled and several monsters stepped through.  
Blue stopped singing for a moment to greet them. "Hello there! Welcome home! Did you have a nice time at Grillby's?"  
"Yeah, bro! It was great" said Stretch, and upon seeing what they were doing, he began edging towards the stairs with Sans right behind him.  
Papyrus stopped singing long enough to ask "WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP US, BROTHER?"  
Sans, continuing to edge along after Stretch, shrugged nonchalantly and said "Oh, man, I don't know Papyrus, you guys are just doing such a great job..."  
"It would be fine! You guys can help if you want!" said Blue happily.  
They had started to edge up the stairs as Stretch replied "Oh, man, I would love to, but, you know, I'm just so busy"  
"Doing what?"  
"I gotta wash my hair, bro"  
Blue frowned, beginning to see what was happening here. "You dont have hair, Papy"  
"Wow, what do you know, I should probably go investigate that right now, right, Sans?"  
"Definitely, man"  
"Yeah, wow, sorry guys, gotta go take care of that like right this second"  
At that, both of them sprinted up the stairs, disappearing into their respective bedrooms.  
Blue sighed. "Why is it that those two are only willing to run when it's to avoid work?"  
"No idea" said Red, who, now that he realized that there was work to be done, had begun edging towards the stairs as well, only to be brought up short by his brother grabbing onto his collar and pulling him back roughly. "Ow! Boss, what the hell?"  
Fell sat down beside them, forcing Red to join them, and grabbed a tangled string of Christmas lights. "What are these?" he asked, looking at them distastefully before beginning to untangle them.  
Red picked out the smallest ball of wires he could find and started picking at it as Papyrus said "THEY ARE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!"  
"What are Christmas lights?"  
Blue and Papyrus were both brought up short by the unexpected question. Then Blue's face got very sad as he realized why the UnderFell Brothers wouldn't know about Christmas lights.  
"YOU HANG THEM ON THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE DURING CHRISTMASTIME, AND IT MAKES YOUR HOUSE LOOK VERY NICE!" Papyrus said, happily unaware that anything was wrong.  
"Why are ya lookin' at us like that, Blue?"  
Blue looked at Red, surprised by the strength of his perception. He realized that Fell and Papyrus were staring at him too, now, and he found himself blushing brightly.  
"It's nothing important, Red" he said, more than a little embarrassed.  
"Come, now, Blue, what is it?" asked Fell, still tugging at the wires in his hands.  
"It's just...you guys have never had a Christmas before, have you?"  
"Nah, but I've heard a bit about it since we got here. Sounds like... fun!" Red tried, his vocabulary failing him at the end.  
Fell snorted but didn't argue, finally untangling his cords and looping them neatly before choosing a new tangled ball.  
"OH, IT IS! SANTA BRINGS PRESENTS FOR EVERYONE IN THE TOWN!" Papyrus said, clasping his hands under his chin.  
"Who's Santa?" Red asked, looking confused.  
In answer, Papyrus chose to burst back into song, this time gracing them with "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" As the Fell brothers listened, their eyes grew wider and wider.  
When Papyrus finished, he sat and looked at the two of them expectantly, as though he thought he had answered every possible question and that the Fell brothers would be ready to join them in song and decorate gingerbread men.  
Instead, he was greeted with Red's shocked voice asking "What kinda creepy dude 'sees you when you're sleeping'? This world is a hell of a lot darker than it seems, fuckin' hell, you guys"  
"Language!" Blue admonished. Papyrus just stared at Red, seeming confused.  
Fell, still looking vaguely disgusted, finished with the last of the lights and then stood carefully, brushing at his clothes as though afraid he had dirtied them through his interaction with the others. He then stomped upstairs, and Red almost made as if to follow him. Then he sat back down, slowly, and quietly asked "Other than stalkers, what else happens for Christmas?"  
Blue didn't think he had ever seen the other look so earnest. He nudged Papyrus and said "Tell him about the food"  
As Papyrus brightened up and began explaining candy canes, Blue watched the two of them with a slight smile on his face.  
He was going to make sure the Fell brothers had the best first Christmas ever, whether they wanted to or not.


	23. The Grass is Always Greener 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take the next part of this angsty crap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 1, 4, 11, 17?, 18, 23, 30  
> [Full Story Version of This Series](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320)

As soon as Papyrus was out of Sans's sight, he slumped back against the nearest wall and put his face into his hands. He didn't quite understand what was going on but for some reason, Sans was absolutely terrified of touching him. He didn't seem to want to be anywhere near him! And the look on the one he'd called Comic's face when Papyrus had told him they were partnered...  
Papyrus couldn't seem to get his negative thoughts to go away. Sans had told him not to show his attachment before they had arrived to meet with the others. He had greeted them in a way that left Papyrus's blood boiling. The others had obviously not known about their relationship and were very shocked by it. Sans didn't seem to want anything to do with him and he had dragged all of them through one of his shortcuts to a strange place that looked like his home but wasn't. And now he was withholding information, refusing to talk about whatever was going on with him, his partner, and was instead discussing it with these strangers who looked so much like him...  
Papyrus couldn't get the idea out of his head that Sans no longer loved him.  
But that couldn't be true, could it? It had only been a little over two months since they bonded, it was impossible for something as open and honest as bonding to be lied through, he /knew/ how much Sans loved him. And love like that couldn't fade over just two months, could it?  
"HELLO!" came a voice very similar to his own from across the room. Papyrus looked up, and there stood exactly who Sans had said would be here, another copy of himself. Sans had said these clones were from other universes, or something like that. Papyrus didn't really understand. Science had always been Sans's thing.  
"Hello?" he replied, hesitantly. The person standing before him did look an awful lot like him, he supposed, if he was in the habit of smiling and he dressed like an idiot.  
He wore a weak imitation of Papyrus's own armor, but it was white instead of black and didn't look like it offered any real protection at all. He wore a strangely tiny pair of blue shorts that barely covered his pelvis, and a softer version of Papyrus's own red gloves and boots. This copy's spine wasn't exposed like his own, instead it was covered by a black bodysuit. Papyrus noticed that this version of himself also had a red scarf almost exactly like his own, and he found himself wondering if his own Sans had made it for him as well.  
"IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! SANS HAS TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE ALSO PAPYRUS?" the other inquired. Strange. He actually seemed excited to meet a new person. Papyrus snorted inwardly. Well, then, this couldn't possibly be him, could it?  
"Yes, my name is Papyrus as well"  
"WELL SANS HAS TOLD ME THAT HE AND THESE OTHER SKELETONS NAMED SANS HAVE FOUND IT TOO CONFUSING, SO THEY HAVE DECIDED UPON NICKNAMES TO HELP WITH THAT! DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?"  
Papyrus snorted aloud this time. "No" he said shortly.  
"WELL THEN I WILL GIVE YOU ONE. WHAT ABOUT...JACK?"  
"What kind of name is Jack?"  
"I DO NOT KNOW, IT WAS IN A HUMAN MOVIE SANS FOUND AT THE DUMP. IT WAS ABOUT A BOAT"  
"Okay. Sounds fairly stupid"  
"IT WAS VERY SAD. EVERYONE DIED"  
"In that case, I might have to check it out"  
The other Papyrus folded his arms and regarded him sternly. "THAT IS VERY RUDE"  
"Well, you're not calling me Jack, in any case"  
"FINE. HOW ABOUT...FELL?"  
"Fell?"  
"YES. IM NOT SURE WHY, BUT IT JUST SEEMS TO FIT YOU"  
Fell regarded him for a moment, and then said "Alright. Fine. So, Cream-Puff, I hear you like to make spaghetti?"  
Cream-Puff ignored the slightly sarcastic nickname and immediately seemed to light up, launching into an explanation of how this world's version of Undyne had taught him how to cook his favorite dish.  
They worked together to prepare the meal, and they were just mixing together the tomato paste when they heard yelling from the other room.  
"--that I would give  _anything!_ "

"No, you don't have _any fucking idea_  what is going on with me. I _love_  him, and yes, it used to be something else, something more, but I still love him. He's my brother, and I can't help the fact that I don't feel how I used to. I fucking hate breaking his heart over and over and _over_  again, and I don't want to do it any more! So shut the fuck up and sit down, _you have no idea_!"  
That was Red's voice. That was his brother's voice. That was the person he loved.  
_I can't help the fact that I don't feel how I used to_  
Fell had been right. Red didn't love him anymore.  
He found himself gripping onto the counter very hard, fighting to stay upright and keep tears from streaming down his face. After a moment, he realized both would be impossible and so sank to the floor, his back against the counter.  
Cream-Puff didn't notice for a moment, still busily stirring with all his might. Then, when he turned to look at Fell and he was no longer there, he looked around in surprise. When he spotted the other, he just looked at him, uncharacteristically quiet. Then he turned off the heat and sat down next to him.  
Fell, through his muffled sobs, was barely aware of the other joining him. He only noticed when the other looped an arm around the back of his shoulders and pulled him in against his chest.  
"Was that your brother talking?" He heard the other ask after a moment, and he could only bring himself to nod.  
They lapsed back into silence, with Cream-Puff rubbing Fell's back in slow, soothing circles the way he knew always helped him feel better.  
When Fell's sobbing finally subsided, he sat up slowly, moving out of reach of the other's comfort. Once he was completely upright, he felt his mask slip back on, and despite the fact that his face was stained red with evidence of his tears, he resolved to act as though none of this had ever happened.  
"You know, my Sans has only ever loved me as a brother"  
Fell looked around for the source of the unfamiliar voice longer than he'd like to admit before finally realizing that the voice was coming from Cream-Puff. He hadn't realized how much of a difference a volume change made in a voice.  
"I've been in love with Sans for...years" the other continued, looking at his hands. "And, oh it must've been...four months ago? I finally told him"  
Fell was surprised to see tears filling his counterparts eyes. He hadn't thought this other version of himself was even capable of unhappiness. But, he slowly realized, maybe that was the whole point of Cream-Puff's demeanor.  
"What happened?" he prodded, gently. Despite himself, and the way his soul felt as though it was curling in on itself, he found himself actually wanting to know.  
Cream-Puff clenched his fists for a moment and took a few deep breaths. "He...he laughed at me. He said I was 'adorable' but 'Papyrus, we're brothers. That's not something you're supposed to feel for your brother'. Then he...he t-turned around and w-went upstairs. I don't think he thought I was s-serious" He was crying for real now, despite what seemed to be his best efforts. "H-he's always t-thought of me as a child, I s-suppose. I d-don't think I c-can really d-do much to change that"  
Fell steeled himself, then reached around the other's shoulder to return the favor of comfort. Surprisingly, he felt his soul loosening as he hugged the other, and his tears returned, running down his face more slowly this time.  
They sat like that for a long time, crying and holding on tight to one another. Fell had never done this before, not even with his own brother, and the feeling was surprisingly...good. Well, as good as crying on a kitchen floor could ever feel.  
The doorway darkened, and Fell looked up to see Sans standing in the doorway with another version of him he hadn't seen before, with a brown scarf and splotches of paint on his face. Sans was just staring at the two of them, crying on the floor, as shocked as Fell had ever seen him, but the other was looking at them with a look in his eyes that seemed to be something bordering on...pity.  
Sans seemed to be frozen in the doorway, but the one in the brown scarf crossed the room and crouched in front of them. "Fell, is it?" He asked, and Fell nodded, for some reason not questioning how the other knew of his new nickname. "Red's going to stay here, and the two of you need to talk some things over, alright?"  
After receiving a nodded confirmation from Fell, he turned to Cream-Puff. "Hello, Papyrus. My name is Ink. We need to leave these guys alone, but would you like my help getting upstairs where your brother can't see you?" Papyrus nodded, much like Fell had just done, and with Ink's help, he shakily stood, waving goodbye at Fell as he left. "I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOMETIME! MAYBE WE CAN FINISH THAT SPAGHETTI!" he called, his voice back to its normal volume.  
Before they left, Ink murmured something to Sans, and Fell only caught half of it. "I'll be back...10 minutes...If we're going to do this, it...soon, before...soul bond...weakened..." Sans mumbled something in response, then Ink and Cream-Puff left.  
The tension in the room grew quickly as they both refused to look at one another.  
"I heard you!" Fell finally blurted. Sans looked up in confusion, and he continued, blazing on, his eyes tearing up again despite himself. "In...in the other room. I...well, I'm not sure I understand, but I know what you're going to tell me"  
Sans crossed the room as he talked, coming to a stop right in front of him and falling to his knees. "Boss--" he tried, but Fell talked over him.  
"I know you d-don't love me, th-that way, anymore. I d-don't know w-why though" damn it, why was he still crying? He thought he'd gotten this all out of his system with Cream-Puff.  
Sans made a move like he was going to grab Fell by the shoulders, then his arms paused and he folded them back in against himself. Then he let out a deep sigh and scooted into the place Cream-Puff had just vacated, just far enough away not to have to touch him, but close enough that Fell could feel the heat from his bones.  
Then Sans started to explain.  
As he talked, Fell found himself turning to face his brother, his jaw dropping open in awe. How...how had Sans made it through all of that? And how could he, the Great and Terrible Papyrus, not remember any of it?  
As Sans finished, silence fell over the kitchen. Fell couldn't bring himself to speak. Now it made sense, in the worst way possible. Sans had...gotten tired of him.  
Well, he supposed, anyone probably would, especially after so many years of constant repeating.  
But that presented a question. "Sans..." he began, horrified to hear his voice break. He cleared his throat and tried again, attempting to ignore the way that Sans was looking at him. "If you're going to make me remember, why can't we try again? It wouldn't be repeating anymore, I would remember everything that happened before, we-we would be able to grow _old_ together, like we-we always..." his voice stopped working suddenly, and he looked at Sans before he could start crying, trying not to let hope bloom in his soul.  
Sans wasn't looking at him anymore. Instead, he was looking at his hands, which were tugging absently at the hem of his shirt. "Boss..." he said quietly.  
Sans had raised Fell. His entire life had been spent with the person sitting next to him. Fell knew him better than he knew himself. And he was very suddenly getting a very clear message.  
"Oh" he said aloud. He realized his tears had stopped. He wiped at his face anyway, clearing his face of any leftover red stains. He didn't feel like crying anymore. He didn't feel like much of anything anymore. "Which one?" He asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.  
Sans was quiet for a long time. "It doesn't matter, Boss--"  
"Fell" he corrected, so quietly it was almost a whisper.  
Sans looked confused. "What?" he asked.  
"Call me Fell. Don't call me...the other one" he said, still quietly.  
Sans looked like he was about to say something, but then Ink appeared in the doorway. "Are you ready?" he asked quietly.  
"Yes" Fell replied, standing quickly and crossing the room, leaving Sans sitting by himself.

"Let's get this over with"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you go. Thank you to a certain angry commenter for inspiring me to leave this open-ended and unhappy. 
> 
> Nah, I'm just kidding. I've got an epilogue half-written. But seriously, dude, calm yourself.


	24. Megalovania (Special Event?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I guess nothing really super special has happened to cause this, I'm just so happy and grateful for you guys and how much attention this has been getting! Thank you guys so much! 
> 
> So I'm going to do this thing where I have a playlist of a bunch of songs and I'm going to do very short drabbles for each one of them. I turn on the song, and I have the length of the song to write something. I do not have plans or story ideas going into these. They are out of context, short, probably messy. 
> 
> A bold song title=Warning-worthy content ahead, death or gore/torture of some kind. Stay safe!  
> If a song is mentioned at all to be playing in the scene, it's the song I was listening to while writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made you guys a [playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqVcv6TydN73KFVs5RWnE3hQBHXhANviq) with all of the songs in order  
> Make sure you check it out if you want the music because some of the titles I have written here aren't 100% correct/would lead you to slightly the wrong song

1.ALL WE KNOW (NIGHTCORE)- THE CHAINSMOKERS

{Red/Blue}

Red looked up to see Blue across the crowded patio. He was leaning back against the railing, laughing at something someone was saying to him. Red couldn't help but smile as he watched the animated little skeleton gesticulate wildly and bounce up and down. 

Sans, sitting next to him, noticed him staring, and nudged him in the ribs. "Just go talk to him" he said teasingly, his deep voice, so similar to his own, making Red blush deeply. 

"Nah" he answered, still watching the smallest of them talk to his friends. "I think he'd be better off without me going over there and messing all of that up"

 

2.*ANGEL WITH A SHOTGUN (NIGHTCORE)-THE CAB

{Fell vs. fellUndyne}

Fell stood slowly, gripping at his broken ribs. "No" he growled, stumbling forward. 

Undyne just laughed. "What exactly are you going to do to stop me? You're halfway to dust already"

In answer, Fell formed a sharp bone construct in his hand. Despite the fact that several ribs were hanging loose and there was red bone marrow dripping from the crack in his skull, he stood firm. 

Red, behind Undyne, widened his eyes and shook his head wildly in an attempt to dissuade Fell from doing anything to help him. 

Screw that. Red was worth every bit of this. "I'm going to fucking destroy you, bitch. Give me my brother back"

 

3.ANTI-GRAVITY-RUNAGROUND

{UnderTale}

Sans stood his ground in the golden hall, spatters of blood decorating the floor, the pillars, his own bones. He was breathing heavily, sweat running down his skull. 

Across from him, the human stood, knife in hand, grin on face. He didn't know how it was still standing, given how much he had injured it.

It lunged forward, swiping at him with the knife a couple of times. He dodged each perfectly. 

Then it was his turn. 

He turned their soul blue and slammed them into the nearest pillar, then the ceiling, then to the ground, hard, before sending a flurry of bone attacks their way. 

As they were struck, he saw the last of their HP deplete, and they fell to their knees, more blood spilling from their small body. He heard their soul shatter, and then the familiar feeling of loading their save point washed over him. 

He sighed. Welp. Time to go again. 

 

4.ARE YOU WITH ME- LOST FREQUENCIES 

{Red}

Red looked up at the night sky, studying the stars with the kind of concentration he never really gave anything. 

He could hear the sounds of the others through the open window behind him, Blue shouting something across the house at Stretch, Papyrus talking animatedly to his brother, who sounded half asleep. 

Red hadn't had this kind of peace, this kind of happiness, in his whole life. He had never been so loved and accepted, with so many people who loved him. 

And damn if he wouldn't do absolutely anything to protect it. 

 

5.IDFC (TARRO REMIX)-BLACKBEAR REMIX

{Stretch/Sans}

As Stretch took another drag from the cigarette he held between two fingers, he felt the skeleton beside him lean in a little closer. Smiling, he wrapped an arm around his ribcage, holding him tight. 

At the sound of a small snore, he looked down at the smaller figure, taking in the sight of Comic curled up so tightly next to him. 

He rubbed his phalanges lightly across the top of his skull, just taking in the feeling of all of this. 

Then, in a moment of bravery he was never able to find when it actually mattered, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Comic's head. 

God damn it, when had he grown to love this loser so much? 

And why was it so hard to just tell him?

 

6.CALL ME MASTER-BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR

{Error/Lust}

Error didn't think he had ever been so fucking confused in his entire existence. 

He was in UnderLust and he was regretting every single second of it, but there, across the dance floor, Lust was dancing in a way that was making Error feel like he was going to light up the room with his bright yellow blush. 

Lust was a bit too skilled at what he was doing, and it was making Error want to string someone up and rip them apart. 

He downed another drink, tapping the glass to ask for another. He was trying very hard not to turn his gaze back to Lust but he was failing miserably. 

He growled under his breath, muttering a few choice words about this God-damned stupid fucking universe.

Lust made eye contact with him across the floor, then, with a shit-eating grin, he winked. Right at Error.

Fucking hell. 

 

7.CALLING ALL THE MONSTERS (NIGHTCORE)

{Sans/Blue and/or Papyrus}

As Blue's pelvis started to shift left and right to the beat, Sans found himself regretting every single one of his life decisions. 

Why, of all things, had they decided to choose karaoke as the night's activity? 

Why did Blue have to be so fucking good at it?

As he sang, he was jumping and waving his arms. This version of Sans seemed to know his body well, and where experience was lacking, he certainly made up for it in enthusiasm. 

This was not where Sans's problem was starting. Up on the stage, next to Blue, following almost his every move, was Papyrus. 

Sans took another large gulp of his drink. 

 

8.COLD WATER-JUSTIN BIEBER AND MAJOR LAZER

{Blue/Error}

As Blue stirred the meat, he couldn't help but to hum. It was something he'd always done while he worked and cleaned and cooked. It was just habit at this point. 

He didn't hear the sound of someone walking into the kitchen behind him until they chuckled quietly, the glitches in their voice making their laugh jump around in pitch.

Blue jumped, turning quickly. When he discovered the source of the noise, however, a large smile lit up his face. "Hello Error! Are you here for dinner?"

Error gave him a rare smile. "I wasn't originally, but now that I smell that..."

Blue smiled even wider. "I'll tell Papy!" he exclaimed, ignoring the glitchy groaning that followed that statement. 

 

9.DEATH OF A BACHELOR-PANIC AT THE DISCO

{Red/Sans}

Red looked himself up and down in the mirror and couldn't help but to grin. He looked, if he did say so himself, hot as all hell. 

Dark suit shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, red tie, black pants, and just the littlest bit of smudging under his eye sockets that made the red of his eyelights shine all the more brightly. 

He turned to the door, swinging it open and emerging onto the main landing. "Hey Sans" he called, waiting for the other to emerge from the kitchen. 

"Yes, Re--" Sans leaned out the doorway of the kitchen, stopping short when he caught sight of his counterpart. 

He whistled lowly and emerged from the kitchen completely as Red chuckled and descended the stairs. "What's all this about?" he asked. 

"Well, Blue said that I should probably look good when I propose so that you have no choice but to say yes"

Sans nodded thoughtfully, regarding Red with something easily identifiable in his eyes. "Yeah, that would be a pretty good--"

He was brought up short as he realized what Red had just said. "Wait, what?" he squeaked. 

Blue popped up from behind the couch and snapped a picture just as Red went down on one knee.

 

10.DEATH VALLEY-FALL OUT BOY

{Fell/Stretch}

This was such a stupid bet. 

Fell lined up against Stretch, who just grinned at him lazily, his eye socket flickering to life. 

Without wasting any time, Fell conjured several bones and flung them in Stretch's direction, who dodged them easily. 

Shit. Fell frowned as he realized that he should have expected Stretch to be about as good at dodging as Red was, if not better. He was still a Papyrus, after all. 

After flinging a few more attacks with no effect or apparent retribution on Stretch's part, Fell was getting frustrated. 

"FUCKING FIGHT BACK, SWAPSHIT!" he yelled across the yard. 

"I don't actually have to" his lazier counterpart responded. "I only have to last five minutes against you. No use tiring myself out when the prize is this good"

Fell growled and flung more attacks at him as rapid-fire as he could. Stretch, of course, dodged them easily. 

In his frustration, his attacks grew quicker and quicker until he almost forgot that this was his friend, not someone he was trying to actually kill. 

He summoned the most complicated bone attack he could think of, preparing to send it across the field with the intent to kill...

"TIME!"

 

**11.DONT DESERVE YOU-PLUMB**

{Razz/Slim}

Razz didn't think he'd cried this much since he was a child, but he couldn't help it now as he held his brother's broken body in his arms. 

Despite the fact that he knew that it would have no effect, he continued to pour healing magic into his soul, hoping against desperate hope that something, anything would happen, that some miracle would come together, some bit of good karma that he knew he didn't actually deserve, something would happen that would save Slim's life. 

Slim's eyelights were slowly flickering out as he watched Razz cry. 

"M"Lord..." he rasped. 

"No, no, no, don't talk, it's okay, you don't have to talk" babbled Razz, a new wave of tears making its way down his face. 

Slim stilled him by raising a hand to softly brush against his cheekbone. Razz lifted his free hand and held tightly onto the other's carpals, holding the brushing hand against his face, unwilling to let go. 

"M'Lord, I will never stop loving you. You're strong enough to do this on your own"

Razz's cries turned to screams as his brother's dust filled his arms. 

 

12.ELASTIC HEART-SIA

{Dusttale}

Dust was shaking so hard he could actually hear his own bones rattling. He couldn't believe this, he couldn't believe what had just happened. 

His brother was dead, Papyrus was dead, Sans had killed him.

But Papyrus was there, Papyrus was in front of him. 

And Dust had never been more afraid in his entire life. 

The floating skull, scarf, and hands that made up his brother now was coming so much closer, he was almost withing reach. 

Dust let out a terrified sob and collapsed to the ground, covering his skull with his shaking arms. 

"Please!" He begged "please, I'm so sorry, Papyrus! I'm so sorry, please, I need to kill the human, please don't kill me until I've done that!"

Suddenly, something touched his arm, much more gently than he expected. 

"Brother..." came a soft voice from somewhere in front of him, and he raised his head slowly to look in its direction. 

"I forgive you"

 

**13.EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES-PANIC! AT THE DISCO**

{Sans vs. Papyrus}

Sans screamed into the gag as his brother made the next cut. 

Papyrus frowned at the noise, looking up at his in annoyance. "OH, SANS, YOU WERE DOING SO WELL! I THOUGHT I ASKED YOU NOT TO SCREAM! YOU ARE RUINING MY CONCENTRATION, BROTHER!"

Sans's panting breaths were all that filled the small space of the shed for a moment, then Papyrus continued. "ANYWAY, I AM NEARLY DONE! THEN THAT BARTENDER AND ALL OF THOSE MONSTERS WHO PRETEND TO LOVE YOU SO MUCH WILL KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU BELONG TO!"

Silent tears slipped down Sans's face as his brother got back to work, but he wasn't willing to anger Papyrus by screaming again. 

He had long since given up testing his bonds. He could see the unfinished letters of his brother's name carved into his sternum, and by the time he had reached the R, Sans had done what Sans does best. 

He gave up. 

 

14.FAMOUS LAST WORDS-MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

{Red vs. Fell}

"We're leaving!"

Red ripped his hand out of his brother's angrily. 

"No!" He yelled, ignoring the surprise on everyone else's faces. "You know what, screw you, Boss! You don't get to tell me what to do, you don't get to make my decisions for me!"

He had never seen Fell look so angry before in his life. "Excuse me, you useless sack of shit, you belong to me!"

"No, you fucking asshole, I don't!" He screamed back. "I was happy here, I was so happy here, how could you possibly think I would want to go back with you to that shitty universe? What would make you think I would want to go anywhere with you? Do you know what you did to me?"

Now Fell looked unsure. "I--" he started, but Red wasn't done. 

"No, you don't get to talk! You get to go home, without me, without hurting any more of my friends, without ever coming back here again! I don't need you or your shit!"

Fell just stared at him for a moment before glancing up at the others. Then, his face steeled. 

"Fine" he growled. "I guess I'll just have to take you back myself, whether you like it or not"

 

15.FOOLS-TROYE SIVAN

{Death/Geno}

Death would never understand why he was the one Geno had chosen to love. 

As they sat together, looking at the stars that were only visible here on the surface, Death couldn't help but hold him as close as he was capable. 

Despite everything, despite all of things he had done, despite all of those that hated him so, so much...

Geno loved him. 

He didn't pretend to understand why. He didn't try to think hard about it for fear he would talk himself out of this one bit of happiness he had ever been allowed. 

He felt Geno yawn quietly and settle more securely into his arms. 

No, he didn't understand. And he doubted he ever would. But for something--no, someone-- like this...

He didn't let himself worry too much about it. 

 

16.RUNAWAY-GALANTIS

{Fell/Stretch}

Fell straightened his tie one last time, staring at himself in the mirror and trying his best not to jump out the nearest window. 

He was the Great and Terrible Papyrus. 

He could do this. He could do anything. 

"Boss? You ready? It's time" came Red's voice from the other side of his closed door. 

Fell nodded, then realized his brother couldn't see him and quickly said "Yes, yes I'll be out in a moment". 

He straightened his tie one more time, smoothed his already perfect suit, then strode to the door and flung it open. 

Red was standing there scratching at his gold tooth. He looked up when Fell came out, and grinned in a way that didn't look very sarcastic, for once. 

"Stretch is already waiting for you downstairs"

 

17.GERONIMO-SHEPPARD

{Sans/Blue/Red}

Sans couldnt ever seem to get himself to care about anything. No matter how hard he tried, how much he pushed himself, he just couldn't get himself to care. Nothing truly mattered. So he gave up. 

But today, as he followed two of his counterparts through the underground, one skipping happily, the other just watching him and smiling gently, he found something in him sparking back to life in a way that it hadnt in far too long. 

Every time he looked at them, he cared. He wanted to try. He wanted to do anything and everything he could to keep them here by his side, so make them happy, to keep that smile on Red's face, to keep the laughter in Blue's eyes. 

Sans knew he would do anything for them. And today, as he caught up to them, he felt the overwhelming need to tell them. 

Words would never be enough, but he had long since found that they understood his actions as well as anything. 

He grabbed tight to both of their hands and squeezed like he never wanted to let go. 

He truly didn't. 

 

18.GLORIOUS-DAVID ARCHULETA

{Alphys/Undyne}

Undyne seized her new wife by the hand and spun her out to the dance floor to the cheers of most of those present that were still sober enough to do things like cheer. 

She picked Alphys up and held her close as she rocked back and forth in time to the music, much like they had been doing for each dance they'd had together. 

Undyne didn't think she would ever grow tired of having this little nerd in her arms. 

"Y'know something, Alph?" She asked, quite a lot more quietly than she would normally. 

"Y-yes Undyne?" She replied after a moment, seemingly as caught up in all of this as Undyne herself was. 

"I love you"

There was a quiet giggle, then...

"I know"

 

19.HANDS TO MYSELF-SELENA GOMEZ

{Pallette/Goth}

Despite his normally fairly reserved nature, Goth never could resist a good song. He usually played music over his headphones as he picked up the library at the end of the day, dramatically placing books back on the shelf as though he were in a particularly boisterous music video. 

Today, he was in a great mood, and he found himself spinning through the bookshelves with even more flair than usual, rocking his pelvis back and forth in time to the beat and even singing a word or two out loud, much to his momentary embarrassment. 

"I MEAN I COULD BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO?" he sang out much more loudly than he'd meant to, holding the only book he had left above his head in the sort of dance move he'd only ever seen Lust do, rocking his hips and nodding his head. 

As the beat increased in speed, he spun completely around to deliver the next line, only to find a figure standing at the end of the row of bookshelves. 

His mouth snapped shut and he flushed in embarrassment as Pallette grinned at him, leaning casually against the wall. 

"Please dont stop on my account, I was just about to start taking pictures!" He exclaimed with the sort of false-innocent excitement he always carried. 

Goth grinned back, then disappeared around the side of the bookshelf, putting his arms back into the air as he went. 

 

20.HYMN FOR THE WEEKEND-COLDPLAY

{Red/Stretch}

As Stretch scooped the sleeping skeleton into his arms, he couldn't help but smile at the soft snores that accompanied the small puffs of breath Red was letting out. 

He walked carefully up the stairs, being very careful not to wake him. He eased open Red's door and laid him in bed carefully, climbing in after him. 

He pulled the blankets over the both of them, not bothering to remove his sweatshirt, and tucked Red's head under his chin.  

He would never be able to get enough of the way that Red couldn't make it five minutes into a movie without completely conking out. It was half the reason Stretch had instituted Friday movie night. He was so much more peaceful when he was asleep, as though the pain of the world could no longer reach him. 

Stretch took a deep breath, savoring this moment. 

 

21.I CANT FEEL MY FACE-THE WEEKND

{Red/Blue}

Blue's fingers tapped along to the beat of the current song as he sat in the seemingly never-ending traffic. Next to him, Red was slouched comfortably, playing some sort of mindless game on his phone. He didn't seem to be paying any attention at all to what Blue was doing. 

Perfect. 

The chorus arrived, and, in the same moment, Blue cranked the volume almost as high it could go and yell-sang "I CANT FEEL MY FACE WHEN IM WITH YOU!!!" 

Red jumped about a foot and a half into the air, dropping his phone and choking slightly on spit he didn't even have.  

Red's reaction was all the motivation he needed to keep singing at loudly as was humanly possible, accompanying it by waving one arm wildly in the air to the beat. 

"Oh my God, Blue, just fuck completely off!"

Blue only stopped his screeching long enough to say "Language!"

 

22.I DONT DANCE-LEE BRICE

{Error/Ink}

Error and Ink stood less than a foot from each other in the antivoid. Ink had a gentle smile on his face, and his hand was held out towards the other. Error had a vaguely panicked look on his face and every so often, his hand half-darted towards the other and then retracted as though he were preparing to touch a particularly venomous snake. 

Ink waited patiently, hand outstretched, and finally, Error managed to get their hands to connect. He almost immediately let go, then took a deep breath and grabbed it again, clasping it more firmly. 

Ink's smile grew wider, and he tugged on the other gently, walking towards an open portal a short distance away. 

Error was still breathing hard, but he slowly seemed to grow more relaxed as they walked hand in hand into Ink's new world. 

 

23.I GOT YOU-BEBE REXHA

{Lust/Red}

Lust knew exactly what he was doing to his boyfriend, and he knew that he was enjoying it far more than he really should be. 

He winked at Red from across the room, raising his arms above his head and rocking his hips side to side in time to the beat. 

Red glared at him, folding his arms and trying his absolute best to look anywhere but at Lust. 

He never had been very good at that. 

Lust just kept dancing, in the semi-erotic, completely teasing way he always did. 

Hey, if Red wanted to keep their relationship a secret from his brother, he probably shouldn't bring him over to Lust's world, right? 

Lust really enjoyed wearing down Red's self-control far too much. 

 

24.I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY-GLEE VERSION

{Dance & Blueberry}

Dance was practicing his steps, body moving in time with his usual battle song, when Blue came in asking to be taught to dance. 

Dance had grinned and, with the thought of how amusing this was going to be, said sure. 

He'd turned on the first song on his "guilty pleasure" playlist, sure that Blueberry would like those songs the best. 

This wasn't amusing anymore. 

How in the world was it that this version of himself was a better dancer than he was? His whole world revolved around dancing. How was this even possible? 

Now he was standing and watching as Blueberry dances along to the beat with a huge grin on his face, not even following the steps Dance had taught him and still doing a better job. Maybe it was just that he was entirely enthusiastic--

All thought was driven from his head as the Blueberry grabbed him by the hands and swung him around haphazardly, laughing. 

Dance felt himself getting caught up in his enthusiasm, despite all of his best efforts. 

 

**25.ID LOVE TO CHANGE THE WORLD-JETTA**

{Blue vs. Red}

"I guess you thought you could just come here..."

Blue's words were punctuated by another one of Red's ribs being broken. 

"...And take my brother, didn't you?"

Red was too far gone at this point to do anything more than groan lowly. 

Blue grabbed him by the chin roughly and forced him to make eye contact. The sickening sweetness that used to annoy Red so much was still present in full form, but now it was accompanied by something not quite identifiable, something that terrified Red somewhere in the part of his mind that could still do things like care. 

Blue grabbed another one of his ribs, bending it but quite breaking it. 

"He is  _ mine _ "

 

**26.JET PACK BLUES-FALL OUT BOY**

{Fell/Red}

The soft leather of his brother’s coat rubbed oddly against Fell’s bare humeri as he fended off yet another attack by the human.

Hot rage burned its way through his soul as he faced off against his brother’s murderer, and he lunged forward, intent to kill in every one of his movements.

Suddenly, the child ducked under his attack and sliced down his chest, through his ribs and into his soul.

Fell sank to his knees. That was it. He had failed his brother. He had failed Sans. His eyes filled with tears as he felt himself begin to turn to dust.

“Boss!” came a familiar voice, and Fell’s eyes opened to see a pair of red eyelights very close to his face.

“Sans…”

 

27.JUST ONE YESTERDAY-FALL OUT BOY

{Razz/Fell}

“I have a question”

Fell looked up from where he was polishing his armor and locked eyes with the smaller skeleton standing before him.

His brow lifted as he took in the expression on Razz’s face. “Yes?” he asked, somewhat amused.

Razz looked at a loss for a moment, then his fixed his face back into it’s commanding mask and said “I demand that you accompany me to dinner at the NTT resort on friday night!”

Fell gave him a short amused smile. “That didn’t sound like a question”

Razz looked confused for a split second, then he frowned and threw his hands into the air. “FINE! Will you do me the…” he seemed to be choking the words out now “...honor...of accompanying me to the--”

“No, thank you”

Razz’s eyelights blew wide and he slammed his palms down on the table. "EXCUSE ME?!"

Fell smothered the laugh that was threatening to rise up in his throat. "I said no, thank you. You did ask a question and I am allowed to say no" 

At the expression on Razz's face, a confliction between anger, surprise, and confusion, he couldn't keep his smile in any longer, and he had to fight very hard to keep some very un-Fell-like giggles from bursting out. 

When he saw Fell's smile, Razz's body relaxed and his expression settled into one of annoyance. He straightened up quickly and stomped out of the room, stopping to throw a potted plant at his head. 

At that, Fell couldn't keep his laughter at bay any longer, and it was so loud he almost couldn't hear Razz's declaration just before he slammed the door shut behind him. 

"You'd better be there at 7 or I'm sending Papyrus after you, you fucking asshole"

Fell would have liked to think there was an edge of laughter in Razz's voice, too. 

 

28.LOST BOY-TROYE SIVAN

{Stretch/Blue}

Stretch looked at the little skeleton standing across the room from him, and he couldn't help but smile. He never could help but smile. 

Blue was just so full of happiness, full of life, and he filled Papyrus with so much hope. 

Every time Blue opened his mouth kindness came out and it made Stretch so happy, happier than he was ever able to feel without him. 

As his brother gestured wildly and talked about nothing, Stretch found himself settling his chin into his hands and just watching him like a love-struck schoolgirl. 

Blue was so beautiful. Not just in his perfect bones or his bright blue eyelights, but more in the way he moved with such confidence, how those pretty eyes always held so much love for him, and him alone. 

Stretch was so deeply in love with this little skeleton, and he had no idea why he seemed to love him back. 

It really was too bad Blue would forget it all next reset. 

 

29.LOVE YOURSELF-CONOR MAYNARD COVER

{Dance/Lust}

Dance could feel his partner pressed against his back, mirroring his moves and echoing them back. When Dance moved, Lust moved, and as far as Dance was concerned, there was no better feeling in the world. 

As they moved through the practiced steps, the moved from being back to back to Dance spinning the other into his arms, bending him backwards into a deep dip before pulling him back into his arms. They moved in tandem, souls joined, a well-practiced, perfectly matching pair. 

There was nothing that compared to this, and there never would be. As Dance pressed his forehead to the other in a way that most certainly not choreographed, he heard Lust give a startled laugh and he smiled, closing his eyes as they continued to move. 

The next steps called for them to move away from each other, and Dance was left feeling incredibly empty until the time came the Lust has him by the hand and was leading him through another set. 

 

30\. ME TOO-MEGHAN TRAINER 

{Blue & Papyrus}

Blue and Papyrus really did make a great team! They could go out and recalibrate puzzles together, clean the house together, or, tonight's activity, go "out on the town" together to paint the town!

Blue was very excited, and he knew Papyrus was too, based on the way he was jumping up and down and flapping his hands wildly. 

"Bro, you're gonna crease your suit" came a lazy voice from the couch. At this point, their brothers had melded into such a puddle of lazy mush that blue couldn't tell who the speaker was. 

"Let's go and...what was it you said we should do Papy?" 

"Pick up chicks"

There was a faint smacking sound that blue assumed came from Sans's hand hitting Stretch's face, and then the low snickering that seemed to follow the two of them around wherever they went. 

"DO NOT pick up any chicks, Papyrus" Blue heard Sans say. 

 

31.NEARER MY GOD TO THEE-BYU VOCAL POINT CHOIR

{Stretch}

Stretch wasn't entirely sure why he loved to sing so much, but he just couldn't seem to help himself from singing quietly under his breath when he was stressed, singing loudly in the shower, singing badly in the car, and basically just singing, anywhere and anytime. 

He was tending towards the louder side of things now, sfraining his voice in a way he knew made it sound more impressive. The only reason he was allowing himself to do this was because Blue was at Alphys's for the night. 

He let it all out, singing with all of his might, putting far more effort into this than he out into anything else, really. 

He came to a particularly high note and was concentrating so hard that he barely heard the sound of the basement door opening. 

 

32.NEXT STOP EVERYTHING-??? Doctor Who?

{Ink vs. Error}

Ink took a deep breath as he faced down his greatest enemy. Then, with the best battle cry if which he was capable he lunged forward, narrowly dodging his opponent's strings, swinging his paintbrush with all his might. 

Dodge, swing, dodge, dodge, swing. 

It all faded into instinct as the fought just as they had so many times before. 

The creator and the destroyer, fighting over the fate of the entire multiverse. Sans watched from his place in the corner with horrified fascination as finally, one pinned the other to the ground, weapon at the ready. 

"I suppose this means I win"

 

33.PARALYZED-NF

{Blue}

Blue held the cloth so tightly in his hands, he could feel his joints creaking. He knew his eyelights were gone, and he could feel the tears running from his eyes so quickly that even if he had the presence of mind to wipe them away, he wouldn't have been able to keep up. 

His brother's dust filled the air, and Blue was trying not to fall into despair as he thought about how it had been his own stupidity, his own idiotically innocent belief that anyone could be good if they tried, that had caused this. He may as well have held the knife himself. 

But he hadn't. 

Blue felt his eyelights return and the tears stop as he stood slowly, too numb to register that more dust was falling out of the coat. He tied the offensively bright sweatshirt tightly around his waist and began making his way after the little horror that had killed his brother. 

He no longer believed in them. 

 

34.PLEASE DONT GO-JOEL ADAMS

{Frisk}

This was so much better than they remembered. As Frisk made their way through the underground, they couldn't stop repeating to themselves how much happier this was making them now than it ever had before. 

As they had hot dogs piled on their head and went on a date with an overexcited skeleton and solved puzzles and ate pie and did their best to ignore the fact that Flowey was definitely following them, they could hardly keep a straight face. 

Now, as they stood on a cliff on the side of My. Ebbot with the same friends they had made a thousand times, they only had one thought in their head. 

They would never kill them all again. 

 

  1. RADIOACTIVE-IMAGINE DRAGONS



{Red & Fell}

There they were. The human. If they could even be called that anymore. 

So many monsters were dead, but Red couldn't bring himself to pretend to care. They had all been pieces of shit anyway. 

The only monster that mattered was right here beside him. 

As he fell into his normal conversation with the child, Fell stood there quietly. 

Then the fight started. As usual, Red hit them with all of his strongest attacks at once. And as usual, they dodged them all as if they'd seen it a thousand times before, which he supposed they had. 

Then his brother joined the fight, and the human never stood a chance. 

Fell fought with a grace that had Red watching him more than fighting, which was probably fine considering that his brother didn't seem to need his help destroying the little cretin. 

For once, he didn't feel quite so alone. 

 

  1. SAVE MY HEART-JASON REEVES



{Fresh/Paperjam}

"Yo, bro, that colorful lingo ain't gonna fly here"

Paperjam stifled a laugh at the expression on his father's face as Fresh censored him. He was turning about three different shades of yellow and looked to be about three seconds and one more instance of the word "yo" from string Fresh up and throwing him into the void, consequences be damned. 

Without a word, Paperjam took a step forward and slipped his hand into Fresh's. He could tell by the looks on their faces that neither of them had noticed him standing there, and he suppressed a grin. "Hey, dad!" He said cool. "What's going on?"

"Nothing" they both said, almost in unison. 

 

38.SKINNY LOVE-BIRDY

{Flowerfell}

Red leaned back against the gravestone, smiling peacefully. 

"Hey there, kid. Flower you today?" 

He chuckled quietly to himself. 

"I know, I know. Same joke as always, right? That's alright. You know, someday maybe you'll actually get to hear it"

He rubbed his phalanges against the ground, plucking one of the many golden flowers and twirling it between his thumb and forefinger. 

"You know, sweetheart, these things really remind me of you. Yeah, I know, there's a very good reason for that. I just..."

He paused and almost threw the little flower away before thinking again and setting it down carefully in top of the stone. 

"I miss you, kiddo. That's all"

 

39.SMOOTH CRIMINAL-GLEE VERSION

{Red vs. Sans}

“I’m warning you now, buddy” Sans growled, “either you give me that soul or you’re going to have a very bad time”

The other him chuckled, his raspy voice making the noise sound as though he was in pain.

“Oh, I don’t think so, blue-boy” he replied, giving Sans a look like he was a piece of meat that he wanted nothing more than to dig his claws into. 

Sans couldn’t help the shudder that ran through him, revulsion at the thought of having the other close enough to touch him.

Then the other moved, and Sans didn’t react quickly enough to stop him as he crushed the soul into dust.

“I’ll be having a  _ great _ time!”

 

40.SO CLOSE-JON MCLOUGHLIN

{Slim/Stretch}

Slim stared across the dance floor at his boyfriend, smiling softly. Stretch was currently talking to another of the Papyruses, his usual lazy smile plastered across his face. Slim didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so beautiful.

He was distracted for a moment by a waiter passing by, and by the time he focused back on Stretch, he was being pulled into the other’s arms on the dance floor. 

Stretch spun him around, ballroom dancing haphazardly through the other couples, and Slim found himself laughing in the sort of way that only Stretch was ever able to wring out of him.

Stretch was singing badly under his breath, and he was giving him a look that never failed to make shivers run down Slim’s spine. 

Maybe it was narcissistic to love himself this much, but Slim couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

41.SPEED OF LOVE-OWL CITY

{A bunch of Sanses}

“Red!” Blueberry squealed as a new song came on. “Come on, we know this dance!”

To the laughter of their brothers, Red was dragged out onto the dancefloor and more or less forced to dance. 

“Hey, we do too! Come on!!” Error heard Ink’s laughing voice from beside him, and looked over to see him bouncing along to the quick beat, hand outstretched. 

“Ink, I’m a destroyer of worlds, I can’t go do a  _ line dance _ ” he said.

“So? I’m a creator of worlds! We’re basically gods, but let’s go dance anyway!” then he grabbed Error by the hand and, after ensuring he hadn’t strung anyone up, dragged him out to join the others. 

As more mosnters joined the ever-growing crowd, Lust turned to Razz and cocked a grin.

“Hey” he said.

“Don’t even fucking think about it” came the snarled reply.

 

42.StUpiDfAcEd (WHITE BOY WASTED)-WALLPAPER

{I don’t actually have a drabble for this one, except for an image a lot like the last one where they’re all at a party except super drunk and it’s very funny. Someone please write this, I can’t for the life of me do it successfully}

 

43.THE CALL-REGINA SPEKTOR

{Sans/Red}

Sans adjusted the dress nervously as he stood just outside the church doors. All he needed to do was open them and he would be…

He took a deep breath, steadying himself against the nearest wall.

Papyrus appeared beside him, taking his arm and smiling encouragingly. “READY?” he asked.

All Sans could do was nod as he held tightly onto his brother. “As I’ll ever be” he whispered, half to himself.

Then the doors were opened, and they were walking past rows of their friends, flowers everywhere, music playing...but Sans saw none of it. 

All he could see was Red, waiting for him at the end, rare tears making their way down his face.

 

44.THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT US (NIGHTCORE)-ONE DIRECTION

{Blue/Error}

Blue hopped back onto the stage, and Error sunk down into his seat. This was Blue’s fourth karaoke performance of the evening, and each one had left Error questioning if those winks and smiles were actually meant for him or not.

Blue sang out, and yeah, his voice was pretty good, but damn it if he didn’t know how to dance. For a song like this, it was mostly just bouncing in time to the beat and pointing out towards the audience, but as the tone of the song changed for a moment, he managed to slide all the way across the stage to where Error and the rest of the group was seated, and Blue’s eyes were locked on Error as he sang.

“They don’t know what we do best, it’s between me and you our little secret, but I wanna tell ‘em, I wanna tell the world that you’re miiiinneeeee”

Error ignored the questioning looks from the rest of the group as Blue got back up and finished the song, focusing instead on getting rid of that stupid yellow blush that he knew was lighting up the room.

 

45.TITANIUM-CHRISTINA GRIMMIE COVER

{Betrayal}

Razz turned to face Red very suddenly. “What did you just say?” he demanded.

Red looked at him, confused. “Um...your brother needs to stop spending the night?”

At the suddenly broken look on the other’s face,  he backpedaled quickly. “Hey, I was kidding, it’s alright. I mean, if you really want to be rid of him, you can send him over here all you like!” When that didn’t do anything to fix the devastation in Razz’s expression, he tried for a joke, “Just, uh, tell him to keep it down while he’s here, right? Heh.”

At that, he was beyond shocked to see tears gathering in the other’s sockets.

“He’s...he’s what…?” Razz whispered, gripping too tightly onto the edge of the counter.

“Uh...are...are you okay?” Red asked, at a complete loss of how to react to this completely unexpected turn of events.

Razz turned to look at him, still crying slightly and not bothering to wipe the tears away. “He...He’s cheating on me?” he asked.

Red’s jaw dropped open and he stared at the other before rage started to coil in his soul.

“That bastard…” he growled.

 

46.TOWARDS THE SUN-RIHANNA

{UnderTale}

As Sans stepped out into the fresh air, he felt tears almost start the prickle at his sockets. They had finally made it…

They all stood there, next to the human who had freed them all, and watched the sun as it set. 

The sun…

He could see the sun. 

The tears started to come for real now as he watched it disappear below the horizon, a myriad of colors staining the sky in its wake.

They had finally made it to the surface. They were free. 

 

47.YOU DON’T OWN ME-GRACE

{Red & Sans}

Red hardly got any time to himself anymore, what with there being six people under the same roof. So when it became clear that everyone else was out of the house, Red was quick to make use of the silence, cranking up the radio and grabbing a bottle of mustard. 

As he drank more and more of the magic-infused condiment, he felt his inhibitions dropping and he began to dance around the house, swinging around doorjams and singing loudly along to the music.

In fact, it was because he was vocalizing loudly that he missed the loud crack that signalled someone had just arrived via shortcut, and it was because he was spinning in circles that he didn’t see Sans walk into the room he was currently occupying.

Sans just stared in shocked silence for a few moments as Red made a complete fool of himself before cracking a smile and pulling his phone out of his pocket and hitting the camera button. 

Maybe he could use this as blackmail to get Red to stop leaving his fucking mustard packets on Sans’s bed.

 


	25. Biggest Fears 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red's turn! I have no explanation for this whatsoever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 13, 25

Why are we doing this again?"

Sans turned to look at Red, who had his hood pulled up and his arms folded, making him resemble a literal ball of grumpy as they tromped through the snow.  
"Because Blue asked us to come visit?" he replied.  
Red groaned and kicked at a clump of snow that had made the mistake of being near his foot. "I hate UnderSwap" he grumbled under his breath.  
Sans grinned. "Really?"  
"Yeah. Everything about this place is just so sickly sweet."  
"I didn't think you minded a little sickly sweet. I guess it just has to come in the right package, hm?"  
Red just responded by glaring at him and flipping him off.  
They walked I'm silence for a while longer before Red spoke up again. "Why did he want us to come over?"  
Sans shrugged, still keeping an eye out for the lights of Snowdin. Maybe it was just his imagination, but the path from the ruins seemed longer here than in his own universe. "I think he said something about baking? I wasn't really listening, you know how he gets when he's --"  
Sans was cut off by a very high-pitched scream followed by some shuffling and a muffled  _Thump!_  
He turned quickly to the source of the noise, but found nothing. Suddenly, he realized Red was gone. He looked around quickly, seeing nothing. He hadn't heard him take a shortcut. "Red!" he called, confused and maybe, though he would never admit it, a little worried.  
"Is it gone?"  
Sans frowned and looked to where the voice had come from. Red was buried in a snow poff, and, from the looks of things, he had dived in there head-first.  
Sans wasn't sure whether to be confused or amused, but since he was pretty sure Red wouldn't appreciate being laughed at, he opted to go with confusion. "Hey, there, buddy. What...what are you doin'?"  
"I'm scuba diving" came the irritated reply, then his voice morphed back into something a little more subdued. "Is it gone?"  
"Is what gone?"  
"The...the cat"  
Sans just stared down at where he could barely see the tips of Red's shoes and hood poking out of the snow. It was getting very, very hard not to laugh.  
He looked around at his feet, and soon spotted a fluffy white cat near his feet. He crouched down and began petting it, and it began purring loudly, arching against his hand.  
"Yep. It's right here"  
Sans tried to pretend he didn't hear the muffled groan from the direction of the snow poff, instead electing to focus on the soft fur under his bones.  
Blue had, upon seeing the annoying dog in Sans's universe, been very confused. Sans assumed that this was the annoying cat Blue had told him was in his world.  
Deciding that Red had suffered enough, he shooed the cat away, making sure it went all the way into the trees before he said "Alright, it's gone now"  
Red immediately stood up, spraying snow everywhere, and began walking briskly in the direction of Snowdin. He straightened his hood and seemed to be doing his absolute best to appear dignified, despite the fact that he had just screamed like a babybones and jumped into a pile of snow.  
Sans couldnt hold in a snicker and hurried to catch up with him, and they walked in silence for a moment before he said "Cats, huh?"  
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about but you should shut up"  
They walked in silence for a few moments longer before something occurred to Sans and he grinned.  
"Is this why you hate UnderSwap so mu--"  
"I said shut the fuck up"


	26. Paint the Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what's up with this ship and I, like I don't actually ship it, in actuality I think they would be awful together but I absolutely adore fanart and fanfictions about it. So this one could be platonic or romantic, depending on which way you squint.

Stretch was startled awake far too suddenly by a door slamming open upstairs. He blinked his eyes open blearily and groaned; today was supposed to be an excitement-free day, everyone except Sans was gone until that evening.   
"We should do something today!" Came a voice from upstairs, followed by quick footsteps coming down the stairs. The voice sounded extraordinarily like Blue's, and Stretch frowned. Were they back already? There's no way Blue would have let him keep sleeping once he got home.   
Stretch's question was answered when Sans leaned over the back of the couch, grinning. "C'mon, Stretch! Let's make it a day! Let's...paint the town! Go on an adventure!"  
Stretch just stared at him for a second, still half asleep. "Who are you and what have you done with Sans?" he asked, only half joking if he was being perfectly honest.   
Sans huffed. "Isn't a guy allowed to get excited every once in a while? Find a spark of motivation occasionally?"  
"Have you /seen/ yourself lately? You're slowly turning into an actual lump" Stretch scoffed, coming more awake as they talked. At Sans's pointed look at his own incredibly lump-like appearance, he raised his hands defensively. "Hey, I never claimed to be any better, did I?"  
Sans came around the couch and shoved Stretch's legs aside, plopping down in their place. "C'mon, man, we never do anything. Let's go chase a little excitement!"  
"But we enjoy not doing anything"   
"Well yeah, but let's try something new! Something different!"  
Despite himself, Sans's energy was rubbing off on him. He sat up slowly, his joints creaking. "Alright, fine. What do you want to do?"  
Sans scrunched his brow. "Petting zoo?"  
"There aren't any petting zoos in the underground, moron"  
Sans threw himself across the couch and plopped down with his head in Stretch's lap, gesticulating wildly as he talked. "Well, fine then! What about the echo flower caves?"  
Sans really did look extraordinarily like Blue when he was excited. Stretch watched him talk affectionately, almost forgetting to answer.   
"Sure, we can do that, but we do that a lot. Didn't you want something new and exciting?"  
Sans paused for a moment, then grinned and reached into Stretch's hoodie pocket, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and one of his lighters. "Strip club?"  
"While that would be both new and exciting, I find myself not really wanting to explore all that the Capitol has to offer" Stretch said, watching as Sans lit up and holding his hand out for one of the cigarettes, lighting it up when Sans obliged. He felt himself relaxing more into the cushions.  
"I'd be down for exploring all /you've/ got to offer" said Sans with an almost audible wink.   
Stretch just rolled his eyes and took a drag of his cigarette, letting the smoke trail from his nose hole and eye sockets.   
"Okay, so no strip clubs. I don't suppose you have any ideas to contribute?"  
Sans's excitement seemed to be waning slightly, replaced by calm contentment as they sat and talked, the ideas they were suggesting becoming more and more ridiculous as time went on. 

"I just don't understand why there always has to be snow around here" complained Red.  
Blue sighed. "The name of the town is Snowdin, Red. You lived there in your universe, too."  
"I don't see how that matters"  
"Why did you decide to live in a place named Snowdin if you don't like snow?"  
Fell piped up as the walked up to the front door, Papyrus pulling out his keys and setting about getting the door unlocked. "I was the one who made the choice to move"  
"And what Boss says, goes" Red mumbled sarcastically as they filed into the living room.   
Fell was about to retort when Papyrus shushed them all, gesturing at the couch.   
Stretch and Sans were fast asleep, Sans's head in Stretch's lap and Stretch sprawled awkwardly with his head on the armrest. They were both snoring softly, completely dead to the world.   
"Lazybones" Papyrus whispered affectionately.   
Red looked longingly at the couch, envy plain in his expression, and Fell just snorted and stomped up the stairs.   
Blue smiled, then said "I'll bet they haven't moved an inch all day"


	27. CHAPTER DELETED (PLEASE READ IF CONFUSED)

There was some FlowerFell drama and i bought into it lol

I'm planning to put this chapter back up just give me a bit, sorry if there was confusion *finger guns* have a nice day


	28. Tis the Season 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this wasn't going to be a series, but then I got inspired. I directly blame [ChocoboFangirl (LaviniaD)](http://archiveofourown.org/users/LaviniaD/pseuds/ChocoboFangirl) for this one.
> 
> After learning that Fell takes the Elf on a Shelf very seriously, certain members of the household decide to have a bit too much fun with it. Sorry, this one's a bit messy/different I guess? I'm not super happy with it but I've rewritten it twice so?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 22, 28, 34, 41

 

"Sorry, what was that?"  
Fell turned back to see the two most irritating members of the household grinning at something, as usual.  
He sighed in annoyance at Comic's question and repeated himself. "I said, I'm not going to throw this frying pan at your head because that little snitch" with that he gestured in the direction of the little elf doll that was currently occupying a space on the counter, surrounded by empty candy wrappers "will tell Santa, and I would like to avoid that"  
Fell started to turn back to his cooking, but stopped when he heard muffled snickering followed by the sound of a smack.  
Now Stretch was speaking, the raspier version of his own voice grating against his ears as usual. "You're afraid the Elf on a Shelf is going to tattle to Santa on you?"  
"The Great and Terrible Papyrus isn't afraid of anything!" he roared (at a reasonable volume, of course, Papyrus was taking a nap and Fell wasn't a complete sadist these days). The only effect his anger had on the others was to make Sans roll his eyes and Stretch grin all the wider.  
"Of course you're not. Wouldn't dream of it. But--"  
"--you think the Elf will actually tattle?"  
Damn it, Fell hated it when they started finishing each other's sentences. Their brothers tended to do that to each other as well. Fell resolved then and there to toss Red out the nearest window if he ever started doing that with anyone at all.  
"Yes, of course. It is the little cretin's job, after all" he answered.  
He could almost feel them exchange amused looks behind his back. He didn't understand where this amusement was coming from, but that wasn't a new occurrence so he elected to ignore it.  
"Hey Fell. Does the Elf move around on its own at night?" asked Sans, earning a snicker from Stretch.  
"Of course! No one else would dare to eat all of my candy bars! The little bastard has Santa's backing, and he must know I cannot respond with violence. Instead, I'm going to get back at him by making it onto the nice list!" he announced, still doing his best to ignore the snickering coming from the two behind him.

X-X-X-X

 _(The Next Morning)_  
Blue woke up, as usual, bright and early. He was always the first to wake up in this house, not least of all because of his newfound determination to show the Fell brothers exactly how much fun Christmas could be.  
His newest idea, an Elf on a Shelf that he had found in the dump, seemed to be a big hit! Fell seemed to be taking it very seriously, pretending not to care in front of the others but always being the first to seek out the Elf's new hiding place each morning.  
Speaking of which, Blue thought, he needed to move the Elf to a new location in order to keep the magic alive!  
As he skipped into the kitchen to get it, he was confused to find that the candy wrappers that Red had so helpfully provided the day before had been thrown away and the elf was nowhere to be found!  
Blue stared at the counter in confusion for a split second before a loud scream rent the air.  
He just about sprinted from the kitchen, up the stairs, and into Fell's room. He thought it strange that he was the first one to make it there until he noticed that Sans and Stretch were hiding just inside the doorway of Red's room, watching across the hall and giggling quietly.  
Frowning, Blue almost asked them what they were doing before Fell burst of his room, steam practically coming out of this ears.  
"THE LITTLE BASTARD IS THREATENING ME!" he yelled.  
"What?" Asked Blue, more confused than he'd been in a very long time.  
"THAT LITTLE ELF BASTARD! HE'S THREATENING ME!"  
Blue just stared at him for a long moment before slowly turning to look where there were now three giggling faces peeking through Red's door.  
"Where?" he asked Fell, turning back to face him and trying very hard not to roll his eyes.  
Fell led him into his room and pointed decisively at the bed.  
Sitting on the pillow that Fell didn't use was the Elf on a Shelf, holding a whiteboard with a message printed in a far-too-familiarly messy hand.  
"Be nice to lazy people, or living in the now will be the only "present" you receive" Blue read aloud, which he could hear prompt a new wave of giggling from the skeletons across the hall.  
Blue sighed. He really should have seen this coming. He reached for the elf, to move it from its place on Fell's pillow.  
"STOP!" Fell shreiked.  
Blue jumped slightly, then looked at him in confusion.  
"You can't touch him or it will steal his magic! Then Santa will really be angry!" he said in answer, folding his arms angrily across his chest.  
Blue just stared at him for a moment, and then sighed under his breath.  
"Don't worry, Fell. I'll call Santa today and tell him to talk to this elf and stop him from being so mean!" he assured him, raising his voice ay the end so that the others could hear him.  
In response, Fell's jaw dropped and his face took on an expression that made him look more like his undertale counterpart than Blue had ever seen him. "You can call Santa?" he exclaimed.

Quite a lot of rapid-fire questioning later, Blue stepped out of Fell's room and made his way across the hall, stopping to listen at the door.  
"I had a great idea" came the voice of one of the other Sanses. "you know how he checks behind the shower curtain for intruders every time he's in the bathroom?"  
Blue opened the door and stuck his head in. They all stopped their conversation and looked at him, grins on their faces fading slightly as they all made half an attempt to look contrite.  
"Red, if you put the Elf in the shower tomorrow, I'm telling Fell exactly who ate all of his chocolate bars" Blue said sweetly, then he addressed the others "Let me handle the elf work from now on unless the lot of you want dish duty until new year's"  
After they all nodded in understanding, looking slightly scared, he smiled sweetly at them and withdrew.  
"I love Christmas!" he said to himself as he walked back down to the kitchen to start breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment your favorite parts of Christmas so that I can make these dorks have fun with them! I think this could be fun!


	29. OT3 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't even give me compliments on this stupid chapter of failed potential. The original idea was, word for word, "Red and Sans tell a plethora of dirty jokes and blue doesnt even know" but I have a thing for a not-so-innocent blue and so I tried to make it funny and then i got this pile of shit...ugh
> 
>  
> 
> Constructive criticism maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: There are a lot, I'm going to stop listing them for this series. See the Table of Contents for the full list.

Blue hummed quietly to himself as he scrubbed at a pan, swaying his hips slightly and nodding his head. It had been a good day. In training with Alphys, she had complimented his magic control, putting special emphasis on the apparently fantastic improvement he had shown. Tacos had been really good today, with Red asking for thirds! And, best of all, it was movie night, and Red had found a brand new movie for them to watch! He couldnt wait to watch it when the others came downstairs from putting away the laundry!  
He finished washing the pan and dried it quickly before wiping down the counters and venturing out into the living room.  
He could hear the rumble of the other two talking upstairs, occasionally cut with the sharp bark of Red's laughter.  
Blue couldn't help but smile at the sound of the other two. He really was the luckiest skeleton in the underground, wasn't he?  
After a few moments of straightening up the living room while he waited for the other two, he decided to go upstairs and make sure that they were actually putting away the laundry instead of repeating the mustard incident from last week. Blue jogged up the stairs, making his way to their room before pausing just outside the door.  
"--what she said!" Sans was saying, chuckling quietly. Red laughed loudly again, and Blue heard a muffled thump that he was pretty sure meant a pillow had been thrown at Sans's head.  
"That one was awful, man. I can't believe you've stooped so low"  
"Hey, that's not low! These kinds of jokes are the highest form of wit!"  
Red snorted loudly and Blue heard the sound of a drawer opening and shutting. "The highest form of wit? Really? You must be the highest form of whatever the hell you are if you really think that's true"  
Blue heard Sans cross the room and open another drawer as he said "Okay, maybe not the absolute highest. I'm reserving that spot for 'your mom' jokes"  
Red snorted again, and there was silence for a while, accompanied my some shuffling. Blue cracked the door open and looked towards the dresser at them. Red was watching amusedly as Sans attempted to stuff a large amount of socks into too small of a drawer.  
"I'm pretty sure that's not going to fit, moron" Red chuckled.  
Blue sighed and opened the door, crossing the room quietly to help Sans. As he walked, Sans's head raised slowly and he grinned at Red, socks still in his hands.  
Red's eyes got wide, and he started grinning, despite the fact that he seemed to be trying to hide it. "Don't you fuckin' dare, Sans"  
Sans kept grinning as he said "Thaaaat's what she--"  
He was cut off by Blue taking the socks out of his hands and opening the drawer they actually belonged in. When Blue looked back up, he was surprised to see a cyan blush lighting up Sans's face. Blue gave him a questioning sort of look, and Sans just blushed harder and snuck a look at Red, who seemed very amused.  
"What were you saying, Sans?" He asked, not wanting to be rude and interrupt their conversation.  
"Yeah, Sans, what were you going to say? Feel free to explain the context. Or I can, if you'd rather we went with that" Red said, no small amount of smug amusement in his tone. Blue looked between them, confused.  
"I...uh...I was just...talkin' to Red...'bout some stuff..." Sans mumbled, trailing off into incoherency and shoving his now-empty hands into his sweatshirt pockets.  
Blue smiled sweetly. "Oh! We're you two telling lame jokes again?"  
Sans started sputtering indignantly as Red snorted with repressed laughter. "They are not lame! It's a classic!"  
Red grinned and said "that doesn't mean it's not lame..."  
"Yeah, well, your mom is lame"  
"... Dude"  
"What? I told you before--"  
Blue tuned them out and set about checking that they'd actually put the clothes away on the right places. They seemed to have been fine for the most part, except that Sans seemed to have been shoving even more of his socks in his pants drawer. Blue sighed and began putting then into his actual sock drawer when he heard his name and turned to them "hm?" he asked, not having heard any of the context.  
"--Blue said he doesn't want those jokes in the house, Red"  
"Well then how about I drop-kick you out the window since you were the one tellin' em?"  
It seemed to be light-hearted banter, but it still seemed like the kind of thing that could evolve into a pun war unless someone put a stop to it. Blue stood up "Guys--"  
"I would absolutely love to see you try to kick me out a window. I'm Classic Sans, bitch!"  
"Have you fuckin' _seen_  UnderFell--"  
"Sans! Red! Language!" Blue shouted, finally catching their attention. He put his hands on his hips and gave them reprimanding looks. "What is going on?"  
They shuffled their feet contritely and gave each other sidelong glances.  
Red finally spoke up "Nothin', Blue, Sans was just--"  
"Doing nothing at all" Sans interrupted, flipping Red off when he thought Blue wasn't paying attention.  
Blue sighed. "Sans, I saw that. You know better than to perform such lewd gestures!"  
Sans didn't look particularly sorry, but Blue let it pass.  
"Now" he said, putting his hands on his hips and giving them his best determined glare. "What is happening here?"  
Sans sighed and said "Sorry, Blue. I didn't know you were listening in, I know you don't like dirty jokes. We try to keep 'em out of your line of hearing"  
Blue was torn between annoyance that they had been laughing about vulgar things and happiness at how contrite Sans seemed to be about having possibility made Blue listen to it.  
Blue opened his mouth, whether to chastise or thank Sans, he didn't know, but he was cut off by Red.  
"It's alright, Sans. Blue can handle an _awful lot"_  There was something in his voice that made Blue think he was up to something, but he couldn't for the life of him imagine what. Unless he really was considering throwing Sans out the window?  
Blue just looked at him for a moment, confused. Here didn't notice the way Sans froze for a second before ever-so-slowly turning a glare on the edgier of his boyfriends. The edge of Sans's mouth seemed to be twitching, as though he were repressing something.  
Suddenly, what Blue had heard before he entered the room, the way Red was so obviously egging Sans on, it all clicked. And then Blue was the one trying to hide a smile.  
"Red, I will end you"  
"What? Is this too much for you to handle? Just say the word and I'll take it down a size"  
Sans opened his mouth angrily, the look on his face the epitome of 'screw it', but he was cut off by a now openly grinning Blue.  
"That's what she said!"  
Sans and Red both turned to Blue in surprise, and he met their shocked looks with as saucy of a wink as he could muster, then stood and walked out of the room, calling over his shoulder "I'm going go put the movie in! Feel free to join me when you've put away the basket!"


	30. The Grass is Always Greener (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final part of Grass is Always Greener! I might come back to this world at some point for some little one-shots and stuff but there won't be any more that's directly in the series.
> 
> Check out my [ rewrite ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320) of this series! It's more refined and stuff makes way more sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this series: 1, 4, 11, 17?, 18, 23, 30  
> [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/CrushingOnSans) [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/crushingonsans)
> 
> The best way to contact me is by email! crushingonsans@gmail.com

Red groaned as he rolled over. Why was it always so warm in this stupid room? 

He opened his eyes and saw that Fell was drooling. Well, nothing new there. Red started to get out of bed when he got an absolutely fantastic idea. He got dressed as quickly as he could, then very quietly snuck over to his brother's sleeping form.  
Then he seized the back of his head and pulled his face into the puddle of his own drool.  
Fell spluttered awake, the sensation of cold saliva being pressed against his warm face a surprisingly unwelcome feeling. He turned quickly to where Red was doubled over in laughter, glaring at him for a moment before grabbing his pillow and chucking it at him with as much force as he could muster.  
Red dodged, and the pillow hit a wall, thumping loudly enough that he was glad he'd been expecting retaliation. Meanwhile, Fell was wiping the drool off his cheek, making a face. "That was disgusting, Red"  
"I thought it was pretty funny"  
"You think everything is pretty funny. Go away so I can get dressed"  
Red could hear the edge of mirth in his brother's voice, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He grinned and left the room, shutting the door behind him and making his way to the kitchen.  
One benefit of the resets, he supposed, was that they never ran out of food. He poured two bowls of cereal, humming as he grabbed the milk and poured it into his own bowl, leaving the jug out for his brother and leaning back against the counter, stuffing his face.

X-X-X-X

Wiping what was left of the drool from his face, Fell stood and dressed casually in a black T-shirt and jeans. He stopped for a moment when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He could see his own soul, shining brightly through his chest as it always did at the start of a new reset, but even as he watched, it was fading. According to Ink, maintaining their soul bond was necessary for Fell to be able to remember the events of the resets, but with neither participant feeling what they had for each other when the bond was set, it always faded into the background over the course of the morning. Fell watched as the glow disappeared. He didn't think he would ever get used to the feeling.  
After a few moments, Fell came downstairs, smoothing his shirt down. He made a face at the way Red was shoveling cereal into his mouth, then poured milk into his own bowl, putting the jug back in the fridge and sitting down at the table like a civilized skeleton.  
"Are you off somewhere this reset, or are you stayin' here?" asked Red around a mouthful of food.  
"Chew your damn food, Red. And I'm staying, Comic wanted to come over here for a bit"  
"He bringin' Cream-Puff with him?"  
Fell grinned. "Of course"  
Red's smile matched his. They all seemed to have a bit of a soft spot for Comic's brother. Honestly, who wouldn't?  
"What are you introducin' yourself as this time?" Red asked, finally taking a seat at the table across from Fell.  
"I think Comic is going with 'evil clone with a desire to do better' this time"  
Red snorted. "Wow, so the truth then, huh? That's pretty crazy" he dodged a swipe from Fell before continuing. "Sorry to miss it, but I'm spendin' this one at Blue's"  
"How unusual"  
Red casually flipped him off as he slurped the last of the milk from the bottom of the bowl, standing to put it in the sink. "Welp, I'd better be off!" he said, opening a portal to UnderSwap.  
"Red, don't you dare leave your bowl in the--" he was already gone, the lazy asshole. Fell sighed and finished his breakfast slowly before standing. He regarded the bowl in the sink for a moment, then placed his beside it. It's not like it wouldn't just be back in the cabinet, never having been used in the first place. And since Red was going to Blue's, it's not like he'd be back this reset to mock him for it.  
Fell glanced at the clock. Comic and Cream-Puff would be here soon, and if they really were going with 'evil clone' this time, he should probably change into clothes that made him look the part.

X-X-X-X

"Go fish!" cried Blue, kicking his little feet and grinning happily. "Do you have any fives?"  
Red couldn't help but smile as he watched him. "Sure do, Dingus" he replied, slipping a five out of his sleeve when he knew Blue was too busy being excited to notice and handing it over.  
Blue huffed despite his obvious happiness to be winning. "Please don't call me that" he said, and red heard him mutter "Edgelord" under his breath.  
Red broke out into loud laughter, making the little skeleton jump. "Edgelord?!" he questioned.  
Blue folded his arms and attempted to glare at him, but Red could see the smile threatening to break through the pout. His soul swelled at the sight of this little dork, and as his laughter quieted, he felt his magic attempting to reach out to the other.  
He sighed slightly, pulling it back. That couldn't be helped, as much as he might want it to. He didn't notice that Blue had stood at first until he very suddenly had a lapful of him.  
Blue tucked his head into the place between Red's mandible and his clavicle, sighing peacefully. Red's arms encircled him and held him close, closing his eyes as another wave of contentment washed over him.  
He hoped he never got tired of this.

X-X-X-X

Fell had only just left the kitchen and started up the stairs before he heard a portal opening in the kitchen and Comic's voice calling out "Fell? Ya here?"  
Oh well. Maybe the cracks and the red eyelights would be enough to sell the part. He went back into the kitchen, ready to play his part, when he noticed that Comic was alone.  
"Where's Cream-Puff?" he asked, somewhat confused.  
Sans grinned when he saw him, and in response to his question, said "Oh, Stretch came over and they started baking, so I decided to leave them to it"  
"Why was Stretch over?" Fell didn't even question why Papyrus had immediately fallen to baking with a skeleton he wouldn't remember ever having met before.  
"I'm not quite sure, he just said something about not really wanting to be around--"  
Suddenly, Fell felt his soul wrench in a way he knew all too well. He gasped slightly as feelings of adoration and love washed through him, filling him with a giddy kind of euphoria that he knew he wouldn't be rid of for at least a few hours.  
"Aw, damn it" he muttered, steadying himself against the table.  
"You okay, Fell?" he could hear Sans ask in concern.  
He nodded and straightened as the feeling lessened in intensity for a moment. "Red's at Blue's" he said in explanation.  
Sans let out a burst of laughter. "Well that explains why Stretch didn't want to be at home"  
Fell made a face. "That's a mental image that I'd like to avoid forever" he said with a groan, absentmindedly rubbing his chest. Even after what must have been a couple of years, it still felt very strange whenever something happened to activate the old soul bond. Now that it was faded, Fell could only feel it when his brother experienced extreme emotions, instead of the passing feelings he used to be able to share. He was still trying to forget the utter hopelessness that had crashed over him once during a reset where the human had taken special effort to hunt down and kill Blue, despite Red's best efforts.  
Another wave of pure happiness crashed after the first, making Fell feel vaguely dizzy. He put a hand out, searching for the edge of the table again, but he missed completely and nearly fell to the ground, only staying up because of a hand grabbing his arm.  
"You alright?" asked the skeleton who was now holding him much more closely than Fell was used to.  
He felt a crimson blush overtake his face as he looked down at Comic, taking in his blue eyelights, his wide grin, the way he was chucking slightly at having to hold up the Great and Terrible Papyrus.  
Maybe it was the proxy feelings of love crashing through his soul, maybe it was the fact that Comic's blue blush made his eyelights stand out just right, maybe it was the warmth of the house or just a culmination of the last several years of time spent with this asshole, but Fell found himself leaning forward and pressing his teeth to Sans's.  
Sans stiffened for a moment before pulling back quickly. He was staring at Fell, speechless.  
It felt like Fell's soul was splitting in half. How could he have done that? How could he possibly have thought that Sans would reciprocate? They all knew how much he loved his own brother, and no matter how much time he spent with Fell, that would never change, would it?  
Despite the pain in his chest, Fell decided to take a page out of Red's book and try for a joke. "Wow" he said, attempting to smirk, "If I'd known that was all it took to shut you up, I would have done that--"  
He was abruptly cut off by Sans seizing him by the shoulders and kissing him again, harder this time. Fell was surprised for a moment, but then he let himself relax into it, holding the other close and feeling his own happiness battling with what was already in his soul. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I know there will be questions and confusion about why the Kedgeup happened. I have an incredibly good reason, but it would be too long to put in an end note, so please ask in the comments. I will answer anything you see fit to ask since this is over and there's no worry about spoilers!
> 
> Again, check out my [ rewrite ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372/chapters/20474320) of this series! It is much better than this!


	31. Sentiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, have this Razz x Fell fluff combined with general Sans hilarity *chucks it at you as hard as I can*
> 
> Where Slim go? I don't know...  
> I was tired okay, I may have forgotten him. He's sleeping or something idk

Razz wasn't entirely sure how the other three had ended up in his house, but Blue had only been here for about half an hour and he had already built a pillow fort, put in a movie, and made popcorn.  
"What the hell is all this?" He asked rudely, blocking the small, blue-eyed skeleton on his path back to the kitchen.  
"A sleepover!" He said happily before stepping around Razz and continuing on his way. Razz looked after him in disbelief before turning to the two others. Red was leaning casually against a wall, texting someone, and Sans was perched on the edge of the blanket fort. In response to Razz's questioning look, Sans just shrugged and said, "We usually just go with it".  
Razz sighed deeply and sat himself daintily beside the other. "So, what does a 'sleepover' entail?"  
"Universally? Sleeping over" said Red from his place against the wall, putting his phone in his pocket and coming to sit beside the other two.  
Razz groaned loudly and had to stop himself from flopping backwards into the mound of pillows. "You mean you're going to be here the whole night?"  
"And probably most of the morning, too, judging by the amount of breakfast Blue brought along"  
Razz groaned again.  
"You sound like my brother" Red chuckled, and Razz tried not to look too interested at that.  
"Oh yeah? As if I would ever sound like that--"  
"I just meant your reactions were the same!" Red said, rolling his eyes. "That's where their brothers are, at my house having their own sleepover"  
Sans laughed under his breath, apparently finding the idea of those three stuck in the same house for an entire night an entertaining concept.  
Blue skipped back into the room, carrying a huge bowl of popcorn. "Are you guys ready to start the movie?" he chirped, settling down on the other side of Razz from Sans.  
"What did you bring?" asked Red curiously.  
"Oohh! I brought _Fallen Hearts_! It's a love story about this beautiful young--"  
"Oh wow, yeah, that's not happening" said Red, cutting the other off immediately. "I mean, maybe after I fall asleep, but I'm not watching that lame shit!"  
Blue frowned and folded his arms. "Red! Language! And what do you propose we do instead?"  
Red frowned for a moment, reaching out and grabbing a handful of popcorn, proceeding to stuff it into his mouth and chew noisily. They all watched with a sort of disgusted fascination for a moment as he finished and swallowed before saying "We could play a game"  
Sans snorted. "What, like poker? You're a cheating bastard, I'm not playing anything with you"  
Red snarled at him, then grabbed another handful of popcorn before Blue managed to move the bowl out of his reach.  
"What about a different sort of game?" suggested Razz, eager to get the socialization part of this bullshit over with.  
Red winked at him and mumbled "Kinky" just quietly enough so that Blue couldn't hear, and still receiving a hard nudge to the ribs from Sans.  
As Red was catching his breath from the abuse, Sans said, "How about truth or dare?"  
"What's truth or dare?" asked Blue innocently. They all regarded him quietly for a moment before Red said, "Well that settles it. This is gonna be fun!"  
As Sans explained how the game worked to Blue, Razz retreated father into the blanket fort, trying not to sigh again.  
The four of them arranged themselves in a messy sort of circle, facing each other. There was an awkward silence, during which Red managed to steal more popcorn without being caught, before Sans mumbled, "Well I guess I'll go first, then. Truth"  
"Pussy" said Red mockingly.  
"Not really a fan. Who's next?"  
"Hey! That wasn't --"  
"Oh, oh, me!" Said Blue, bouncing excitedly and waving an arm in the air.  
"Truth or Dare?" Sans asked, effectively ignoring the spluttering Red.  
Blue thought for a moment, then said "Dare!", accompanied by a decisive nod.  
Sans thought for a moment, then said, "I dare you to pop me some popcorn"  
Blue shot to his feet, practically running into the kitchen while shouting something about "The Magnificent Sans".  
They sat quietly for a second before Red started laughing and said, "You're the fucking worst, Sans"  
Razz felt himself cracking a smile despite himself as they all listened to Blue loudly whip open the microwave door and, from the sound of it, throw the bag of popcorn into it with all his might. Then the microwave door was slammed and he practically sprinted back into the room and plopped back down in his place, grinning happily. "Red! Truth or Dare?" he asked, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the laughter coming from all of them.  
"Dare" said Red, wiping tears of mirth from under his eye sockets.  
"I dare you to...kiss Sans!" he said, with an air of innocence that was far too strong to be real. Razz grinned at him for real now. The little shit was smarter than he gave him credit for.  
"I...what? No!" Red exclaimed, his face turning a bright shade of crimson.  
"It's a dare, Red, you've gotta do it" smirked Sans, waggling his brownbones suggestively and sticking his newly-manifested tongue out at the other.  
"I swear to Asgore, Sans, put your fuckin' tongue away before I --"  
"Before you what? Punish me?"  
Blue didn't even say anything about the language as he, Sans, and Razz dissolved into loud peals of laughter.  
"Shut the fuck up" Red said angrily. Their laughter quieted only slightly, and it was then that the doorbell rang.  
Razz shot an annoyed look toward the door. "Who in Toriel's name..." he muttered under his breath as he clambered past Blue, who was half-blocking the entrance to the fort.  
"Will you guys shut the fuck up?" he called over his shoulder as he stood on tiptoe to attempt to peer through the peephole. He couldn't seem to get up high enough, so he just growled in frustration and pulled the door open a crack.  
There was no one. Razz swept his gaze around carefully, confused. No one would dare play on prank on him, the Magnificent and Malicious Sans, captain of the Royal Guard, second in power only to the Queen herself, the-- he was pulled out of his thoughts by the sight of a letter on the doorstep. Curiously, he picked it up, turning it over in his hands. There was no return address, but "Only for Razz" was printed neatly on the back.  
Razz stepped back inside, not ignorant of the three pairs of eyes on him as he shut the door and re-locked it. He carefully opened the letter and scanned the first few lines.  
His eyes went wide and a dark purple blush bloomed across his face. He turned the envelope over again, but no new information appeared, and the letter was not signed.  
"What's that?" asked Blue, snatching the letter from him in the same moment. Before Razz could say anything, Blue had read the beginning of the letter and his eyelights morphed into stars as he whooped excitedly. "Guys, look! Razz got a love letter!"  
"Oh my fucking--" Razz tried to grab at the letter, only to have Blue shift it out of reach, beginning to read aloud much to the delight of the other two, who stood and joined them.  
"My Dearest Razz" Blue began regally, a blue blush slightly lighting up his features as he practically swooned. "Oh, this is so _romantic_!" he exclaimed.  
Sans grabbed the paper out of his hands and continued to read. "It has, in fact, come to my attention that I, a skeleton of great attributes, have developed a strong set of feelings. For whom, you ask? Why, for you!" he paused fpr a second, seemingly to gather himself from the apparent hilarity of the situation, then saying, "Well this is definitely not from Stretch, at least. That narrows it down to approximately two people. Unless you put it there, Red"  
"Shut the fuck up, Sans" said Red, ignoring Razz's increasingly desperate attempts to get the letter back as Sans handed it over for him to read. "I have come to realize that you mean the world to me, and that I have no other choice but to admit that I am, in fact, deeply in love with you. I would like nothing more than to tell you in person, but I feel that I am not yet ready for you to know my identity --" he was cut off very suddenly as Razz finally succeeded in getting it back.  
He scanned quickly over the entire letter, his blush growing darker as he read. This had to be a joke...right? But it didn't seem sarcastic at all, in fact, it seemed...sincere?  
To the chorus of the other's giggling, he stomped upstairs to his room, opening the door and storming inside.  
"Useless sentiment" he muttered to himself as he placed the letter carefully inside the desk drawer to keep forever.  
Then he stormed back downstairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him and glaring at the others, who were still laughing. "I thought you had a dare to fulfill, assholes?" he said mockingly, folding his arms and staring Red down.

Outside, three skeletons huddled behind a bush not far from the front door.  
"Explain to me again why we're doing this when they're all over here?" asked Stretch as the sounds of the other's laughter echoed from the house.  
"BECAUSE THIS SCAREDY-BONES NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE IT UNLESS WE MADE HIM!" exclaimed Rus happily.  
"Hey, no, you made him, I just tagged along. Don't lump me in with you"  
"FINE! THEN THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL TAKE ALL THE CREDIT WHEN THEY FALL MADLY IN LOVE! I WILL BE THE GREATEST BEST MAN!"  
Fell just sighed and tugged on the other two. "Come on," he said lightly, "we should get back before they find us out here"  
He may have forgotten to mention to Rus that he hadn't signed the letter.


	32. Wow Look Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I definitely wrote this because I was listening to Wait For It from Hamilton on repeat. Like, literally, I was trying to write Betrayal 3 and I just couldn't stop listening to this fucking song...So here, take this stupid angsty crap. Based off of [GallifreyanChild's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanChild/pseuds/GallifreyanChild) version of Errotic (quote taken directly from [Strings and Things](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8664433))  
> Warnings: Much Angst. Very Cheating. Wow.

 

Error was frozen in place, unable to move a single muscle. Not that he had muscles, not really, but still. He just couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight before him.  
_Fuck_. Fuck this. This is what he got. This is what he got for letting someone in. This is what he got for letting himself fall for someone, to fucking fall in _love_ \--  
He couldn't stop the half-sob that tore itself out of his throat. The figures on the bed in front of him stirred in response, and he finally found himself able to move, slamming the door as he practically ran from the room. He hurried down the hallway, feeling the prick of tears in his eyes. _Shit_ , now he was crying. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!  
He heard the door open as he stumbled down the steps to the first floor, Lust's voice was trailing after him, telling him to wait. Like hell was he going to _wait_ , wait for what? There was no way he would ever be able to explain that.  
"Error! Please, please come back, I'm so--"  
Error walked out the front door, slamming it behind him as hard as he could. Tears were streaming down his face for real now as he walked down the path. His nearsightedness combined with those damn tears were making it nearly impossible to see, but he just kept stumbling along as best as he could.  
How could he have been so stupid? There was a reason he never let anyone in, a reason his only other friend was someone he had kidnapped. This is what happened when you trusted people. They found their way into your soul and then ripped you apart from the inside, just for their own amusement, no one could ever care about someone like--  
He was pulled out of his thoughts all too suddenly by someone appearing on the path just ahead of him. Error couldn't tell who it was, but he didn't want to talk to _anyone_  right now, especially anyone who could teleport.  
"Error, please listen to me!" Lust's voice was as desperate as he'd ever heard him, also crying by the sound of it. Error didn't care, he didn't care, he couldn't care, fuck this, fuck him,  _fuck!_  
Lust was coming closer, until he was right in front of him. Error could feel his tears drying up as he came to an abrupt stop, replaced by a cold sort of emptiness. Lust didn't seem to know what to do or say for a moment, his hands hovering in the air for a moment before they fell to his sides. "Please, Error, I'm so sorry, I don't have any excuses"  
Error didn't say anything, refusing to look at him, refusing to respond to him, because if he opened his mouth now, he wasn't sure what would come out.  
"Error, that was a huge mistake, I was just not--"  
He was cut off by a sudden and mirthless laugh from Error. A huge mistake. Yeah, that sounded about right. "No, Lust. I think I'm the one who made a mistake" he said numbly. He could feel the prickling of tears again, but he didn't want to cry here, to give him the  _satisfaction._  
Error made as if to step around Lust and keep going. Lust, his voice growing increasingly desperate, said "No, Error, please don't go, we need to talk about this!" and then something was grabbing his arm, something was _touching_  him and he needed it _off, now_.  
Error's strings came out of nowhere and he had Lust strung up by his soul before he really even understood what he was doing. He heard Lust's cry of pain, and a grim sort of satisfaction flowed in to replace the emptiness. This was so much easier, this hurt so much less. Why had he ever stopped doing this?  
Another laugh escaped him as he tightened the strings marginally. He could hear Lust breathing heavily, pleading with him to please stop, to please put him down and just _talk_ to him.  
"What the fuck do we even have to talk about, you little _whore_?" somehow he was still laughing, even as he could hear Lust crying.  
Lust...was crying? Why was he...?  
Error came back into himself all too suddenly, and his eyes widened in realization of what he was doing. He dropped Lust as suddenly as he had picked him up, the strings disappearing.  
Lust just laid there for a moment, and Error almost worried that he had killed him before one of the voices in the back of his head asked him why he should care. He was almost ready to walk away and leave him to turn to dust before Lust groaned and propped himself up on his elbows.  
"Error...please...please, let me fix this" he choked out.  
Error just stared at him for a moment. Then he shook his head. "No..." he said. "No, I don't think so. I made a mistake, letting anyone in. And you made a mistake, thinking you could trick me"  
"Tr-trick you?"  
"I'm not falling for it again" he continued, ignoring Lust completely. "Consider yourself lucky I don't tear your entire universe apart"  
He opened a portal beside him, turning away from the now sobbing figure on the ground.  
He hesitated for a moment before he stepped through. "What was it you told me?" he said quietly, and he saw Lust's head lift to look at him. He couldn't make out the expression on his face but he was willing to bet there was hope present in his broken expression. Hope. Error could almost remember what that felt like. "'You're afraid of touch, of having friends, of all these things, because in the end, if you get attached... you're afraid that the same attachment won't be returned, or worse.' Or something like that, right, Lust?"  
He could almost feel Lust's face fall as he continued. "'Or worse'. Isn't that funny? You know, despite everything, despite...your nature...I never even considered this"  
Then he took a deep breath, pushing away the thoughts that were making him want to turn around and pick Lust up off the ground, to forgive him, to never let go of him...  
He shook his head. No.  
He stepped through the portal without a backwards glance, closing it as soon as he was through, cutting off Lust's scream for him to please come back.  
He would never make that mistake again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuckin' Christ I hate this so much I'm sorry Error. Just...just to say here...my personal headcanon of Lust would NEVER in a MILLION YEARS do this to someone he loves, and even for this one it was a drunken mistake that becomes his biggest regret so...
> 
> God, this still really bothers me.


	33. Betrayal 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So you can read this one of two ways. One, as Fell x Slim fluff in a more widely-known version of SF. If you do that, consider it an "I'm sorry" gift for last chapter (I'm not actually sorry xD ). Or, you can read it how it was originally meant, as part three of Betrayal, which changes this from fluff to...well, Slim(e) is an asshole, that's all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in This Series: 6, 14, 33, 42, 53

 

Fell sat on the couch with his arms folded, glaring idly down at the carpet.  
When he had woken up this morning to Red telling him he'd been invited to a multidimensional Papyrus get-together, it had sounded suspiciously like something the Original Papyrus had cooked up. And if this was anything like his normal cooking, Fell knew that he did not want to go. But he also knew better than to risk making Classic Sans angry by upsetting his brother, so here he fucking was. That didnt mean he had to be happy about it. Or actually talk to his overexcitable double unless he was asked a direct question.  
Original was rambling on about something or another, and despite the fact that it didn't look like any of them were pretending very hard to be listening, he kept at it.  
Fell sighed deeply. Ever since he and his brother had appeared by accident in another universe, things had been...annoying.  
The version of his brother that went by Blue had been the one to find them first, and lucky for him, his brother, Stretch, hadn't been far behind or Fell would have immediately dusted him for _daring_  to hug the Great and Terrible Papyrus!  
Stretch had immediately pinned them to a wall while Blue tried and failed to reason with everyone, and it all somehow culminated into them sitting across from each other in the kitchen, waiting for a set of skeletons that Blue insisted would 'relate' to them better.  
It was in moments such as these that Fell wished no one would try to relate to him in any way.  
The kitchen timer beeped, and Original immediately shot from the room, sputtering something about whatever meal he was attempting to prepare for them. Fell had no doubt that he wouldn't be eating a single bite.  
The moment he left, the other two seemed to visibly relax. Stretch patted his pocket absentmindedly, as though wishing he could have a smoke, and Slim settled back deeper into the couch cushions, letting his arms and legs relax so that he was no longer clenched up quite so tightly.  
Now this one intrigued him. From the explanations that he had been given, it seemed as though this skeleton was his universe's version of Red. But he didn't act at all like Red, who was snarky and never seemed to know when was the right time to shut up. Instead, he was quiet and reserved and seemed to regard Fell with an air of immediate respect. Fell might have wondered why if he hadn't met this one's brother.  
Razz was just about the most obnoxious skeleton Fell had ever met. He was loud and blustery and seemed used to having things go his way. He insisted on having his brother call him 'Lord' and seemed to have trained him well, only having to use a raise of his hand to signal to the other what he wanted. He wore heeled boots to compensate for his lack of height and dark armor along with tight leather pants that he insisted were part of his uniform as captain of the Royal Guard. Despite the promise of danger that seemed to follow his every movement, his every word, Fell couldn't rid himself of the feeling of irritation that had come over him from the first words out of his mouth.  
He hadn't particularly appreciated it when the first words out of Red's stupid face upon returning to their universe were "That little edgy asshole reminds me a lot of someone I know, Boss" accompanied by a cheeky wink and an instant shortcut away.  
Slim, however, seemed to take all of Red's good qualities and make them the forefront of his personality. He was thoughtful and seemed have a very quick mind. However, he did not waste it on stupid jokes, unlike some people.  
"So, Fuckfell, how're things in your universe?"  
He was pulled out of his reverie by Stretch grinning at him, as he tended to. Speak of the devil.  
"That's none of your concern, Swapshit" he snarled back, though it was lacking in any real menace.  
Stretch threw an arm across his forehead in a mock faint. "Oh, I'm so hurt. What ever will I do?" Then he threw an arm around Slim, who flinched slightly and stared at him in surprise. "Tell me, McEdgelord, how am i ever going to come back from such a grevious insult?"  
Seemingly despite himself, Slim cracked a small smile, relaxing further and shoving the other away good-naturedly. "You can start by backing the fuck off" he said politely.  
Fell found himself grinning at the other two, but replaced it with a frown when Stretch looked back at him and started to speak, his voice full of joking bravado. "Well, my good sir, thou hast insulted my good name--"  
Fell snorted loudly at that, but the other continued unhindered.  
"--and i musteth challenge thou to a duel"  
"What are these words coming out of your mouth and why do they make even less sense than usual?"  
"Aw, come on, Felly!"  
"Don't"  
"Fell-boy?"  
"Desist"  
Stretch was grinning openly as he needled the other. This had become far too much of a habit since they met, but at least Fell no longer wanted to dust him every time he opened his mouth.  
"Fellabelle" came a quieter voice. Both of them turned to Slim, who looked slightly shocked at himself. Fell did his best to glare convincingly at him as Stretch absolutely _howled_ in laughter. "Oh...oh my Toriel...Oh, I am calling him that for the rest of his life" he cried, wiping away tears of mirth and thumping Slim on the back, who, neither of them noticed, was beginning to look a bit scared.  
Fell summoned a small ball of pure magic and lobbed it at Stretch, but smothered it out of existence before it could do any damage to the couch. Fell formed another, but this time, Stretch pulled out a cigarette and stuck the end into the magic, where the heated core lit it easily. Stretch leaned back in his seat and puffed it a few times, waggling his brownbones cockily at Fell, who let the magic die down and disappear as he half-heartedly glared at the other.  
Suddenly, a voice called from the kitchen "STRETCH, YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE SMOKING INSIDE THE HOUSE!"  
Stretch sighed deeply and stood, stretching his spine and beginning to make his way outside, apparently unwilling to let his smoke go unfinished. "See ya in a bit, Slim, Fellabella"  
Fell flipped him off. "That wasn't even the right fucking--"  
He was cut off by the sound of the door shutting loudly and he turned back to Slim, sighing. That fucking asshole was so going to get it someday.  
It was only then that he noticed the fear on the other's face, and he frowned. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.  
The other flicked his eyelights up to meet Fell's for a split second before they dropped back down. "I am sorry if I caused any embarrassment" he murmured.  
Fell just looked at him for a moment. "No..." he said, regarding the other carefully. "There is no need to apologize".  
Slim was still looking at the ground, but Fell could see his back straightening and his hands unclenching as he seemed to gain some confidence.  
"You know," said Fell, thoughtfully "You remind me a lot of my brother"  
"Thank you, sir" the other murmured. You remind me a lot of mine, as well"  
Fell couldn't help the snarl that came across his face. He was nothing like that pompous little fuck. "Don't call me sir. It's Fell, please" he said, his tone coming out a bit more clipped than he meant it to.  
There was a long moment before Slim said, almost too quietly to hear, "I didnt mean to offend you. I only meant that you seem to be... Very passionate, and sure of yourself, and...and..."  
He fell silent, staring down at his hands as his face turned a dark shade of orange. Fell could feel his irritation lessen by the second as he regarded the other. "And?" he asked curiously.  
"You are very...a-attractive"  
Well. He had no idea how to respond to that. The corner of his mouth cocked up slightly. "You find your brother to be attractive?"  
There was a short laugh and then "Well he certainly finds himself to be so"  
As soon as the words fell out of Slim's mouth, he clapped his hands over it and flinched back into the couch, a look of pure shock and fear crossing his features.  
Fell half-leaned forward, one hand reaching towards the other in an attempt at comfort, but Slim practically tried to jump over the side of the couch to get away from him. "I'm-I'm sorry, s-sir, I don't know what came over me"  
Fell just watched sadly as he retracted his hand, remembering none-too-fondly a time not all that long ago that he had seen Red have almost the exact same reaction. Red hadn't deserved to feel like that, and Fell had been doing his best to make up for his idiocy for a good few years now. No one deserved to feel like that, especially not this kind-hearted, quick-minded version of himself.  
Fell stood carefully and came to sit beside Slim, making sure to leave plenty of space between their bodies but placing a hand firmly on his shoulder. "Slim" he began, "if you ever need somewhere to get away to, my universe is always open to you. I may not know you as well as I'd like, but I would enjoy having a chance to change that".  
Slim looked at him for a moment, then he gave Fell a small smile and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd--"  
"DINNER HAS BEEN PREPARED!" came Original's shout from the kitchen as he appeared around the door jam. Then he frowned, looking around the room. "WHERE IS STRETCH?"  
"Smoking" Fell replied.  
As Classic let loose a loud groan and stomped to the front door, Fell squeezed Slim's shoulder for a moment before standing and offering a hand. Giving him his most roguish smile, he said, "Care to join me in seeing what danger awaits us in the kitchen?"  
Slim laughed, the first real laugh Fell had ever heard from him, and took his hand firmly, allowing himself to be helped to his feet.  
"Can't be worse than my cooking" he said, still laughing.  
Fell smiled. "Well I suppose I'll have to be the judge of that at some point"  
He was happy to see that Slim's smile didn't leave his face for the rest of the (very long) evening.


	34. Tis The Season 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this chapter was so hard to write, but here it is anyway? Sorry about not posting yesterday, I'll try to put another one out today but no promises, I'm having trouble with all of the prompts I've got right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in This Series: 22, 28, 34, 41

Red flipped through the little booklet disbelievingly. He was going to be expected to sing this shit? To strangers? What the fuck was even going on in this universe anymore?  
He sighed loudly and closed the book, hurrying to catch up to his brother, who looked about as enthused by this whole idea as Red himself was. Blue, however, was skipping along happily next to Sans, who looked on the edge of falling asleep.  
"I think we should pay a visit to Alphys first! She always really enjoys my singing--"  
There was a muffled snort from Stretch's direction, quickly covered up by a loud bout of coughing.  
"--so I'm sure she'll love all of our singing!" Blue continued, either not noticing or not caring about his brother's sudden problem.  
Red stared at the back of Blue's head for a few seconds, silently considering all the different ways that he could incapacitate him and go back to the nap he had been so rudely awakened from.  
Ever since that evening when he and Boss had helped untangle Christmas lights, Blue had seemed to be determined to deliver as much Christmas cheer to the Fell brothers as possible. Some had been highly entertaining, namely the whole elf thing and that time when Papyrus had managed to tangle himself in Christmas lights so thoroughly that he was rendered completely incapacitated until Sans found him. Others had been...strange, to say the least. Like tonight.  
Apparently, it was a Christmas tradition to go stand on people's doorsteps and sing special songs and then give the person cookies like they were the ones who'd humiliated themselves. And this was /normal/.  
"Where are the cookies?" Blue asked as they arrived at Alphys's house, looking around then glaring at Stretch accusingly. "You didn't eat them, did you?"  
Stretch laughed and shook his head, gesturing to Fell who was grumpily holding a decorated plate of Christmas cookies. Sometime during the walk, someone had managed to put a pair of reindeer antlers on his head without him noticing, because they still sat there crookedly. Red chocked back a snicker at the sight, not wanting to be the one to ruin /that/. He'd have to see if he could sneakily take a picture later.  
Blue took the plate out of Fell's hands with a wide smile, then skipped up to the door, waiting for everyone to gather behind him before knocking.  
After a few seconds, the door swung open and Blue and Papyrus immediately burst into song, followed somewhat less enthusiastically by the others. Red didn't even try to find the tune, choosing instead to create his own, and he could hear Sans mumbling something about Batman instead of the actual lyrics. Despite the fact that Red already knew that Stretch could sing, it was always a bit of a surprise to hear him actually do it. The effect was somewhat dampered by the fact that Stretch appeared to be falling asleep on his feet.  
When the song finished, Blue handed Alphys the tray of cookies with a smile, and she thanked them wholeheartedly. She... actually seemed happy that they had come?  
As they walked to the next house in the lane, red couldn't help but notice the difference in their little group. Stretch was smiling, Sans was humming, and Fell...Fell's antlers had been straightened.  
Blue knocked on the next door, they repeated the visit with a different song that involved a lot of rhythmic swaying on Blue, Papyrus, and Fell's parts. Red couldn't help but smile at how his brother seemed to be enjoying himself.  
There had been nothing at all like this in their world. Going to a stranger's house and singing would be suicide, and any cookies delivered by a stranger would be considered poisoned. In fact, there has been nothing like this entire holiday in their world. There had been nothing to cause such brightness and happiness. Red briefly found himself imagining his brother doing this as a child, and he found a small smile curving his face at the thought.  
They went to the next house, and the performance was markedly better as Stretch seemed to get into it, taking the lead from his brother with a practiced ease that made Red think they must do this every year.  
As they finished up and carried on, Fell's whole demeanor seemed to be changing. He stood at the front with the other two, he sang loudly, he bounced excitedly as they waited for the door to be opened. Red couldn't help but smile at the expression on Blue's face as the normally angry skeleton seemed to completely change before their eyes.  
Alright. Maybe this whole caroling thing wasnt so dumb after all.


	35. Happy Anniversary!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I actually missed the one-month anniversary of this story, it was yesterday, but I wrote a thing for it, here ya go! I will probably never write relationship fluff that involves UT Papyrus again, so enjoy this while it lasts...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry if this sucks. This writers block is hitting me hard for some reason and I had to force myself through writing most of this.

Papyrus hummed to himself happily as he stirred. He was very tired, it had been a long day at work today, but the Great Papyrus didn't let silly things like that get in the way of his cool dinners! He considered the sauce for a moment before dipping one phalanx into it and sticking the red finger into his mouth. Hm...it needed some garlic.  
He was just reaching for the cloves he had off to one side when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He looked around guiltily at having been caught sticking his fingers in the dinner, and he caught sight of Fell, lingering just inside the doorway. He gave him as innocent a grin as he could muster, hoping the other hadn't noticed.  
Fell just cocked an eyebrow at him and smiled back, apparently choosing not to say anything as he came into the room. "How was your day?" he asked quietly, leaning with his back against the counter, watching Papyrus silently.  
"Oh! It was...It was great!" Papyrus said, face blushing bright orange at the lie. He turned to grab the garlic and started mincing it in an attempt to hide the fact that he was lying.  
He heard Fell sigh before one of his hands was grabbed. Startled, he almost tried to snatch it back before it was enclosed in the other's grip.  
Fell tugged lightly until he was facing him. "You know you don't have to lie to me, Paps. I want to hear about your days, the good, the bad, and the ugly"  
"You called?" came a voice from the doorway. Papyrus looked over, startled, to see Red poking his head in with a stupid grin on his face. Papyrus rolled his eyes as Red shot them finger guns and a wink before continuing on his way. "By the way!" he called from somewhere around the stairs, "There's a package out in the living room for Papyrus!"  
Papyrus pulled his hand out of Fell's with an apologetic smile and made his way into the living room. Sans, who by all appearances looked completely asleep, suddenly reached onto the floor and picked up a package, holding it out in Papyrus's direction. Papyrus took it and rubbed Sans's head affectionately before taking the package back into the kitchen, passing Fell on the way.  
Papyrus ripped open the package excitedly, feeling Fell's arms wrap around his waist and his chin settle on his shoulder. When Papyrus saw the contents, his bad day was forgotten as he squealed and attempted to jump up and down, nailing Fell in the face as he did so.  
"You remembered!" He half-yelled, grabbing the contents of the box and spinning around. He stopped at the sight of Fell wincing in pain and rubbing his jaw. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.  
"Yeah, yeah. Not important. What did I remember?"  
In answer, Papyrus picked up the contents of the box and held them up, a huge smile on his face. "Our anniversary!"

Fell stopped rubbing his jaw to properly stare at his boyfriend in confusion. "Our what?"  
Papyrus's face fell slightly. "Our...our anniversary. Did you --" he glanced down at the flowers he was holding, then back up at Fell. "Are these not from you?"  
Fell was scrambling through his mind for what was going on and coming up completely blank. "No" he said truthfully, "I didn't know you wanted flowers, or that there was a special occasion for which to get them"  
Papyrus's eyes were suddenly filling with tears, and Fell felt panic starting to come into his soul. "Papyrus, why---"  
"It's fine!" said Papyrus, turning away from Fell and wiping his eyes. "I--I know that you're b-busy and everything. It d-doesnt really m-matter"  
Fell was at a complete loss. He took a half-step forward and reached out towards Papyrus before realizing that he probably didn't want to be touched. "Papyrus--" he tried, but he didn't know what to say. "What...what is an anniversary? Is it a holiday? Or...or is it like a birthday or something?"  
Papyrus looked back at him, and Fell could see surprise flitting across his face. "You --you dont--" he spun back to face Fell suddenly, gripping onto his shoulders. "No, you wouldn't, would you?" Then he laughed, a happy sound that always warmed Fell's soul. He pulled him in for a hug, planting a kiss on the other's cheek. "I'm going to show you all about them! We can go to dinner, and /I'll/ get /you/ flowers, and we can hold hands or whatever else you want us to do!"  
Fell smiled and pulled back a bit so he could look the other in the face. "Well thank you, but why? What's the special occasion here?"  
Papyrus laughed again. "One year ago today, we started dating! In my world, that's something big to celebrate!"  
Fell blinked in surprise. What a strange thing to celebrate. But no stranger, he supposed, than celebrating a birthday.  
"Who are the flowers from, then?" he asked, accidentally cutting off Papyrus's rambling.  
Papyrus frowned and turned back to the box. "I don't know" he said, looking at the package's label. "It says 'Papyrus' right here but there's no return address"  
Fell, having come to a sudden realization, let out a loud snort and picked up the package, calling out loudly enough for the other two to hear. "We're in UnderSwap, you idiots. These aren't for Papyrus, they're for Stretch"  
Red popped his head back in the doorway. "Who'd be getting Stretch flowers?"  
Fell shrugged, then set the package down carefully. "I don't know, but Paps and I have a dinner to be getting to".  
As he grabbed his coat, watching Papyrus bounce excitedly, talking his way through deciding on a restaurant, he couldn't help the smile that came across his face. Being with this kind, excitable skeleton for a year really did seem like something to celebrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To celebrate the fact that this crap now has almost 5500 reads, we're going to have some fun! The most creative/funniest/best answer to this question will get a chapter written about it, and of course I'll credit the person that gives me the idea! "Who gave Stretch the flowers? And why?" Aaaaand go! You're open to give answers up until I release that chapter and I am not against writing more than one of them so give me a bunch!


	36. Dancing to the Beat of My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...I mean it says dumb titles right in the summary of this thing. 
> 
> Anyway, rarepair that I've never ever seen anything for but I did a snippet for my Megalovania thingy and now I kinda love it? I mean I ship Lust with basically all of the Sanses but still...this one speaks to me, man. I'm naming the ship Tango because it's both a dance and a possible double entendre xD  
> It was going to be an actual chapter but instead I wrote a collection of snippets. Sue me lol
> 
> The song they're dancing to in the first one is Workin by JamestheMormon because that's what I was listening to on repeat while I wrote this. Also, this is the closest thing to SciFell you are ever going to get, it's my ultimate notp.

Lust had a problem. And it wasn't the usual problem, mind you, although that seemed to be a thing so often that it hardly classified as a problem anymore. No, this was a real problem, in the form of this other version of himself.  
Yeah, most of the other versions of him were entertaining in some form or another, especially that little Blueberry from UnderSwap but this...this was just excessive.  
Lust loved to dance. It was something he made a lot of use of in his world, and while his usual style of dancing wouldn't really go over well with this crowd, he wasn't permanently stuck in sex mode. He could fucking dance like a "normal" monster, thank you very much. And hey, here he was, in a multidimensional Sans party, music blasting, a mostly empty dance floor thanks to the fact that the majority of Sanses were lazy assholes. In other words, the _perfect_  opportunity to show off, impress some people possibly, maybe get laid, if he decided to go with that.  
If it wasn't for this _problem_. No, Lust didn't care that he came from a place called DanceTale. Last he heard, DanceTale was not StealTheFuckingSpotlightTale. He huffed quietly and chugged the remainder of his drink, watching the smug asshole as a new song started.  
He seemed to be happy with this new song, and he flipped his hood up and tugged his fingerless gloves up on his hands before starting in with the new rhythm.  
Screw it. Lust could take the spotlight from anybody. Completely screw it. He slammed his empty glass back down on the counter, much to the annoyance of whichever Sans was bartending, and made a motion like he was cracking his knuckles.  
He walked straight out to the dance floor, neatly sidestepping Sci and Red who were talking quietly about something or another. As he drew close enough to catch his attention, the other paused for a moment, seeming to take in his outfit and demeanor. Then the little shit made some very judgemental eye contact and fucking _smirked_.   
Well.  
Lust had long since grown to enjoy proving first impressions wrong.

X-X-X-X

"Like this?" Lust asked, beginning to raise his arms above his head and rock his hips in a way that was very much _not_ the way Dance had just shown him.  
Dance snickered. "No, you dork. You're doing it on purpose now. It's like this"  
As Dance demonstrated the move again, Lust let his arms drop and his eyes soften into a real smile. He let his gaze wander over the other for a moment, but for some reason, he kept getting drawn back up to the other's face. It was so much like his own, but when the other was in the middle of a dance, he would get this look in his eyes of intense concentration, as though the most important thing in the multiverse in that moment was the way he was moving his hips.  
Privately, Lust agreed.

X-X-X-X

"I still don't entirely understand why these two got married" Dance muttered under his breath to Lust.  
Lust snorted in response and said "Hey, I mean it makes some kind of sense. The angriest of us and the most logical of us. The marital debates will be lively for sure"  
Dance made a face at him, as though questioning _his_ logic, but Lust ignored him completely, instead letting himself sway slightly with the slow song that had just started playing.  
He turned to Dance, who now also seemed a bit caught up in the song. He was tapping his fingers on the table and shifting his feet as though imagining the kind of choreography he could be planning for this. Lust just stared for a moment, taking the entirety of his friend in, and then he found himself asking "Hey, do you wanna dance?"  
"I always want to dance, but I don't really have anything planned for this one" the other murmured distractedly, still nodding his head and tapping.  
Lust smiled at that, then elaborated. "I meant with me, you fucking loser"  
Well that certainly got his attention. Dance was starting at him open-mouthed, and Lust felt his soul sinking in his ribcage. "Hey don't worry about it, I was just--"  
"Yeah, sure let's do it!" the other said, jumping up and offering Lust his hand. Lust just sat frozen for a moment, staring at the other in surprise, until Dance got impatient and just dragged him to his feet.  
They made their way together to the crowded dance floor, and there was a split second of awkward unsurety before Lust pulled Dance closer to him and took the lead, spinning them around and through the other couples.  
Dance's face lit up as he laughed in surprise, and Lust smiled at the open expression. "Why are you the one leading here?" Dance asked, somewhat breathlessly. "I'm supposed to be the expert!"  
"Because I take charge in _every_  sort of situation" joked Lust, shooting the other the sauciest of his winks.  
Dance broke out in laughter again, his deep blue blush darkening his face.  
Almost unconsciously, Lust pulled him closer, and then, as the chorus swelled, he gripped Dance by the hips and lifted him into the air as he spun. Dance, as a result of years of practice, instinctively pushed himself up with his hands on Lust's shoulders, blushing even more deeply when he seemed to realize they were doing this in public. Lust laughed again, placing him back onto the ground and effortlessly moving back into their previous position.  
"You've been practicing!" Dance managed to gasp out through his giggling.  
"Of course I have! You never know when you might have an opportunity to dance with someone pretty"  
Dance snorted at that. "I'm not pretty"  
"Aw, come on, don't say that, you've got a great face, at least"  
"We have the same face, asshole. Besides, that's not my point. I'm not _pretty,_  I'm totally badass."  
At the increased volume of Lust's laughter, Dance attempted to frown, failing miserably as immersed as he was in Lust's contagious laugh. "I'm serious! Come on, I breakdance, and I wear leather gloves and stuff!"  
"You're a dancer! Dancers aren't badass!"  
"Try ballet then tell me that again with a straight face!"  
Lust snorted, then lifted Dance again. This time, the other performed some sort of kicking maneuver that took advantage of Lust's inexperience and ended with Dance leading.  
As the song ended, Dance dipped him, grinning and winking. "That was pretty badass, if I do say so myself!"  
"Just drop me right here, man. Then I can live out my humiliation in peace"

X-X-X-X

"Lust, I will never understand your world"  
"You physically fight through dance battles in yours!"  
"Name ten people in this room you haven't slept with"  
"...You should count as like five people because your ego is just that big."  
"Exactly. Tell me again how my world is strange?"  
"The question that actually matters here is 'name a single person in this room you've actually loved' because sex is kinda casual here."  
"Is it me again?"  
"Oh yeah. I just can't get enough of your dance-related puns"  
"Lust, you giggle like a small child every time you use the word 'hard' normally in a sentence"  
"You say that like it's a bad thing!"  
"It's become a bad thing!"  
"What, is it getting _hard_  to listen to?"  
"...I will destroy you without pity"  
"Too bad you have to dance battle me to do that. I think I'm the better dancer out of the two of us"  
"I think you can go suck a dick"  
"That's a viable option here, in fact I think I see one right over there"  
"Hey, that guy has a bigger dick than me, what the hell?"  
"Hey, I mean, that's not very _har_ \--hey, stop hitting me!"

X-X-X-X

"Why won't you ever listen to me?" Lust screamed at the other. "Why won't you ever take my opinions into account?"  
Dance was just as angry as he was, if not more so. "I listen to you more than anyone else other than Papyrus! This is different!"  
"How the hell is it--"  
"You're more than a little biased when it comes to sex! For fuck's sake, your _name_  is Lust!"  
Lust wanted to punch something. He wanted to fire up his blasters and blow up a tree so that he wouldn't try to dust the monster in front of him. "I didn't chose the damn name!"  
"Well whoever did really found something that fits you, since all you ever fucking do is sleep with anything that moves!"  
"Are you fucking kidding me?"  
"No, I think you're kidding yourself! You can't just waltz into my world and start telling my brother it's okay to lose his virginity to someone he's been dating for two months!"  
"He asked! I answered with my honest opinion!"  
"I don't fucking want or need your honest opinion! I need you to realize that maybe you're kind of a whore!"  
"Oh, no, I'm so hurt, it's not like that's a mainstream occupation in my world or anything. Stop being such a bigot and realize that your brother is almost 21 years old. He's old enough to ask advice from whoever he wants and get an honest answer from it, and he is mostly certainly old enough to have sex!"  
"You don't get to say that, you were probably like 12 when you lost yours, and you probably don't even remember who you lost it to!"  
"First of all, what the fuck? Second, I was 19 and I most certainly remember it. Just because sex is common doesn't mean it's meaningless!"  
Dance threw his hands up in the air and looked at the ground. "None of this is even the point!"  
"Exactly. Maybe you should talk to your brother about this stuff instead of leaving him ignorant and easily influenced"  
Dance sighed at that, his shoulders slumped. "I have no idea where to even start that conversation"  
Despite the still-simmering anger in his soul, Lust reached out and put a hand his friend's shoulder. "All I had to do was ask him how his relationship was going. I get the feeling he really wants to be talking with you"  
Dance looked up for a split second, then rubbed at his eye sockets. "I know. I'm just not ready for him to grow up"  
"He kinda did that without your consent" Lust said, chucking. He could feel his anger fading, replaced by the calm contentment that usually accompanied being with Dance.  
Dance groaned loudly, not responding.  
"Also," started Lust casually "please don't ever insult me for things that my world considers to be normal. I'm not ashamed, and I don't need someone trying to make me feel like I should be. Especially not you, Dance"  
He looked up, holding the eye contact this time. "I'm really sorry, Lust" he said firmly. "I won't do it again"  
There was a long pause as Lust regarded him.  
"Thank you"

X-X-X-X

"Truth or dare?"  
"Truth"  
Lust and Dance were laying in the soft grass of a clearing somewhere in Waterfall, looking up at the crystals that decorated the ceiling. Everything was vaguely wet, but neither of them particularly cared. Dance had let Lust borrow one of his many thick sweatshirts, so they were both plenty warm.  
"Biggest fear?"  
Lust scooted closer to the other innocently, so that their sides were pressed up against one another. "Ending up alone" he said dryly. "Cliché as hell, I know"  
"Hey, if it helps any, I'm afraid of spiders"  
"Yeah, I knew that, actually. Truth or dare?"  
"Ehhh...truth"  
"Did you actually like the pie I made yesterday?"  
"...I plead the fifth"  
Lust's laughter rang unbridled over the clearing as Dance grinned and held out his hand for the other to take.  
Lust looked at him, surprised, but Dance just kept his hand out. Lust smiled softly, taking the other's hand and lacing his fingers with the other's.  
"Truth or Dare?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing at all to do with this one-shot, but all of you who like the UnderFell Bros need to watch this immediately. I'm completely losing it https://youtu.be/TdBWFBJyOSs


	37. Favorites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I just really needed some one-shot fluff. 
> 
> What is this ship even called?  
> EDIT: I have been told LazyBerry and ClassicBerry by two different reputable sources. I'm confused. Is this like the BloodOrange/SpicyHoney thing? Because we as a fandom need to get our shit together with these ship names, for realsies

For a large part of Sans's life, he didn't care about things like favorites. Having a favorite food didn't matter when you were homeless and you had to eat whatever you could get your hands on. Having a favorite holiday didn't matter when he had spent such a large part of his life living in repeat because of that human. Having a favorite color didn't matter when everything in the world seemed gray.  
So, despite the earnest way Blue was now looking at him, he had no idea how to answer the question that had just been asked of him.  
"...My favorite song?" he asked blankly.  
They were three hours into a five-hour road trip and Blue had been put in charge of the music. For the most part, Blue's choices were surprisingly calm and quiet, and the volume was turned down low as they chatted about this or that mundane thing. In the last fifteen minutes or so, however, they had fallen into a comfortable silence, with Blue skipping through his playlist into some of his more upbeat songs.  
"Yeah! I realized that I don't know what it is. I could play it for you if I've got it!"  
"Uhhh..." Sans thought quickly, searching for something to say, but as soon as the question had been asked, the names of every song he had ever heard had flown out of his memory. "I...I don't know."  
"Oh, okay! Well, here, we can listen to mine!" Blue said, as upbeat as ever.  
Sans relaxed, watching him out of the corner of his eye as he pushed at the screen a few times before music filled the car.  
Blue nodded his head along to the beat, singing the lyrics softly under his breath. Sans smiled and turned his attention back to the road. This really did fit him, he supposed, despite not being quite what he had expected.  
The road stretched ahead of them, seemingly never-ending, as they made their way steadily towards their destination.  
Sans felt Blue lean over to him, planting a small kiss on his cheek. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, and he reached out with one hand for the other. Blue took it, still singing quietly, and Sans could almost hear the smile in his voice. He squeezed gently, then took his hand back and replaced it on the wheel.  
The chorus came and Blue started getting into it, singing at full volume and dancing as best he could, buckled into his seat as he was.  
Sans turned to grin at him, and Blue turned his star-shaped eyelights to meet his, still singing.  
"I love you, you dork," Sans said, almost too quietly to hear, but Blue's reaction to him saying it made him wish he'd said it louder.  
His smile grew impossibly happier, and he clasped his hands under his chin. "I love you too, Sans!"  
The world didn't seem quite so gray these days, Sans thought as he grinned and turned back to the road.  
Maybe he had a favorite color after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think Blue's favorite song is?


	38. BlueFell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue keeps sneaking out, and Papyrus doesn't know where to.

The first time Stretch caught Blue sneaking out, he didn't realize what was going on. This was _Blue_. He insisted on a swear jar, he got after him for smoking, he was, all in all, not the type to be doing something like sneaking out.  
Stretch had been in the kitchen, getting a late-night snack, when he heard quiet footsteps in the living room. Frowning, he glanced at the clock over the stove. It was...2:30 in the morning. What was Blue doing up? He walked over to the doorway, swinging around as the footsteps came closer and very suddenly coming face-to-face with his brother.  
Blue screamed aloud in surprise, then clapped a hand over his mouth, blushing deeply and looking very embarrassed.  
Stretch about doubled over in laughter as Blue glared at him, the sight of his normally unfazable brother getting jump-scared almost too funny to handle, given how late it was.  
"Papy, stop laughing! It's not that funny!"  
"Oh...oh man... It totally is..." Stretch wheezed, still laughing. "You should have seen the look on your face!"  
Blue just grumbled and folded his arms before stomping over to the front door and pulling his boots on, pointedly ignoring Stretch.  
"What're you doing, bro? It's, like, 2 in the morning," Stretch called after him, trying to calm himself.  
Blue looked down suddenly, seeming to realize what he was doing. Then he looked up and frowned again, saying, "I'm going for a walk!"  
Stretch frowned at the false lilt in his brother's tone. He never had been a very good liar. It was a downside of being a generally honest person.  
But hey, Blue was an adult, despite his height and general demeanor, so he could do what he wanted. He was probably just wanting something from Muffet's and not wanting to admit it. So Stretch just shrugged and went back to bed, leaving Blue to it.  
As time went on, he found himself noticing things being slightly off. There were several times in which Blue was suddenly nowhere to be found, or he would come into the house with some kind of unidentifiable red substance on his clothes, or Stretch would ask him an innocent question, and the answer would come out as a lie, despite there being no reason for it.  
The second, third, and forth times he heard Blue sneaking out, he still hadn't put the pieces together. It was only the fifth time he heard Blue's door ease open and closed, followed by the sounds of Blue attempting to tiptoe down the hallway, that it clicked.  
Stretch immediately jumped out of bed and pulled on one of his many hoodies, then he made his way quickly to his bedroom door, cracking it open slightly to watch Blue's progress.  
He was so obviously sneaking that Stretch wanted to knock himself upside the head for not noticing it before. Blue was literally tiptoeing, his hands out to the sides and every movement exaggerated. It looked like the sort of scene that might have the pink panther theme playing behind it, and stretch had to hold back a chuckle at the thought.  
When he heard Blue make it to the bottom of the stairs, he silently eased his door open the rest of the way and stepped into the hallway. Then he quietly made his way to the railing and ducked to hide in the shadows at the base, watching his brother pull his boots on and open the front door, glancing around quickly before going outside.  
Well. Blue was an adult. Stretch shouldn't be worrying about what he was doing. He could handle himself just fine. Stretch really had no reason to get involved, there was no cause at all to...follow...him...  
Moments later, Stretch was following his brother quietly as he made his way to the basement door at the back of the house. Stretch heard the click of the lock, and he frowned. How did Blue even _get_  a key to the basement? He'd thought he had the only one.  
He started where he was for a few minutes, rooted to the spot by indecision. There was really no way to sneak in behind him without being heard, Stretch really should just go back to--  
His thoughts were cut off by a sudden shift in perception. It lasted only a split second, and to someone who had never experienced it before, it wouldn't have even been noticeable.  
But Stretch had felt it before. He didn't think he would ever feel it again. His jaw dropped open and he practically ran to the door, wrenching it open and running down the stairs.  
The basement was empty, but he already knew why. He crossed the room to the now-uncovered machine and tapped the lit screen a few times, looking for where his brother had gone. It only took a few moments to pull up the travel history, and Stretch's jaw almost dropped again at the sheer amount of recent travel. He hadn't had any idea the Blue even knew that the machine existed, let alone...  
His soul stopped when he saw the name for the place Blue had gone, and he immediately stepped inside the machine, setting the coordinates for the same place.  
_UnderFell_.

X-X-X-X

Blue stepped out of the machine, sighing softly. He really hated the feeling of traveling between universes. It always left him feeling so odd.  
He made his way up the stairs, letting himself out of the basement and locking the door behind him before walking calmly to the front door.  
Even if someone saw him, he was easily recognizable in his bright blue clothes, and no one would dare to touch him. Not after last time.  
He knocked on the front door, and it was almost immediately opened by Fell, who smiled at him warmly and stepped aside to let him come in.  
"Hello, Fell!" Blue greeted him as he entered, giving him a quick hug before kicking off his boots by the door and taking off his gloves, folding them neatly and placing them on the table next to the door.  
"Blue!" came a familiar voice from the living room couch, and Blue turned to see Red lounging across it, smiling at him.  
"Hello, Red!" he said, smiling back easily. "Have you guys had dinner yet?"  
"Yeah, Boss made lasagna," Red said, rolling his eyes.  
Blue laughed. "Well there's something new!" he quipped, dodging Fell as he tried to smack him and making his way to the couch.  
Red held his arms out towards his counterpart, and Blue immediately climbed into them, settling his head on the other's ribcage and closing his eyes. He heard Fell huff, then the sounds of him pushing Red's legs out of the way and settling next to them.  
Blue held a hand out and he felt Fell take it, intertwining their fingers and holding on tightly.  
He never felt as comfortable or as safe as he did in these moment. All of his worries, all of his stress, it all seemed to melt away when he came to this world.  
He was just starting to fall asleep when there was the loud _crack_  of a shortcut behind him. Blue jumped in surprise, turning quickly to look over the back of the couch.  
In almost the same moment, Red disappeared with another crack, appearing directly between Blue and the newcomer with a growl, red magic flaring from his one working eye socket. Fell immediately jumped up from the couch, gathering Blue into his arms and taking a protective stance behind the couch.  
"Stop!" Blue's voice rang out, and everyone froze. "Stop, don't attack, there's no danger!" He wiggled himself out of Fell's grasp and ran around the couch to stand beside Red, ignoring Fell's growl of protest.  
"Papy, what the hell are you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will almost definitely be continued, don't worry lol. I just really liked that as a stopping place. This is a world id like to explore, because I think this OT3 is a really interesting concept, especially combined with them not trying to keep Blue a secret in their world.


	39. OT3 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff...?
> 
> Sans totally just flipped me off and for some reason, I'm okay with it!
> 
> Warnings: Panic Attack, it's not too bad though

Sans was stuck.  
How he had gotten into this situation, he wasn't entirely sure, but he made sure to flip the bird in the general direction of the ceiling, sure that whatever higher power existed would see and know that he was very done with this bullshit.  
He had somehow managed to lock himself the wrong way in the basement, the _only_ place in the entire underground that he couldn't just shortcut out of. And he, of course, didn't have the key. Because why would he? That would have been the smart thing to do.  
He sighed deeply, pulling up Red's number on his phone and hitting the call button, sinking down to sit on the stairs as the phone rang.  
"Hello?"  
He sat up straighter when he heard Red's voice, then said, as sweetly as he could manage, "Well hello there, handsome!"  
"...What's going on?"  
"Have I ever mentioned exactly how much I love you? Because it is just so much!"  
He heard Red sigh on the other end, but it did almost seem like a happy sigh, if Sans really put his imagination to work. "What do you want, Sans?"  
Sans didn't even pretend to be offended. "How'd you know?" he asked, laughing slightly.  
This time he was sure he heard a smile in Reds voice as he said, "The whole sweetness spiel is really more Blue's thing."  
Sans snorted. "Yeah, that's the truth. I'm more of a cuddler," he said, winking at the empty air before remembering that Red couldn't actually see him. "Anyway, I may or may not have locked myself in the basement. Can you come let me out, pretty please?"  
Red started laughing, and Sans could hear it get muffled, as though Red had lowered the phone from his face and covered his mouth with a hand to avoid being heard.  
Sans smiled softly as he listened. He really didn't think he would ever actually get tired of listening to that.  
When Red's voice came back, it was gruffer than usual, and Sans's smile grew. "How the hell did you manage to lock yourself in the basement? I dont think the lock is on that way!"  
"Nah, this lock apparently goes both ways. Which is a fact that would have been very good to know before I came in without a key."  
"Good to know," Red snorted. "I wonder who Stretch was having to lock in the basement?"  
"I dunno. Hey, do you think we could lock Blue in there on your next birthday? I don't think he's going to let you get away with not having a party this year."  
Red's laughter picked up again, accompanied by the crackle of magic that signified he was about to take a shortcut. Then the call dropped suddenly, since there wasn't exactly service in the void, and Sans put his phone back in his pocket, jogging up a few steps so he was right by the door.  
Sure enough, less than a second went by before he could hear Red laughing through the door. "Heya, Sansy. You in there?"  
"Nope!" he called back, grinning.  
Red snorted, and Sans heard something rattling in the lock before the lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing a still-laughing Red.  
"Thanks, love," said Sans, winking again now that the other could see him.  
Red rolled his eyes and pocketed his keys as Sans stepped out of the basement and into his personal space. "Move it, UnderFell, I'm tryin' to get by, here," Sans said teasingly.  
Red grinned down at him and said, "Well why don't you make me, Sa--"  
"Boo!" cried a voice very similar to their own as a small pair of arms wrapped around Red from behind.  
Sans jumped slightly and started to chuckle until he looked up and saw the look on Red's face.  
"Blue--" he tried, but he was cut off again.  
"Did I get you? Mweheheh, the Sansational Blue is the best and most scary skeleton out of all of UnderSwap!"  
Red's eyelights had disappeared completely, and his jaw hand clenched, along with his hands. He looked completely frozen except for the panicked magic that was escaping from his soul through the collar of his shirt.  
Sans stepped forward slightly, prying one of Red's fists open and slipping his hand into it. "Hey, it's okay, it was just Blue, it's alright, you're safe..." he murmured continuously, trying to tune out Blue's rambling.  
"I got Alphys today too! And Papy was always a lot of fun to scare, he would--"  
"Shut _up_ , Blue!" Sans growled before turning his attention back to Red, still holding tightly onto his hand and telling him that he was safe, it was okay, it wasn't going to hurt him.  
Blue looked shocked for a moment, his eyes widening and his mouth dropping open before he snapped it closed. He looked like he might be about to cry as he let go of Red and took a few steps back. Sans had never spoken to him like that before, as used to his own brother as he was, but he couldn't bring himself to care about Blue's feelings at the moment.  
The moment Blue let go of him, Red had tried to spin around to face him, his eyelight flickering to life, trailing red magic. Sans grabbed his other arm to keep him from turning around, and kept telling him that he was okay, he was safe.  
Blue finally seemed to catch on that something was wrong and he stepped around Red so that he could see his face. "Oh..." he whispered when he saw the rage and fear that were battling across his expression, and the cold, blank eyes.  
Blue took half a step forward, meaning to join Sans in comforting Red, but Sans threw out an arm to stop him. "Go inside, Blue. I'm not sure he won't attack you," and his voice was strained with the effort of keeping Red from turning around, and Blue _knew_  that, but he still sounded angry, and it was enough to start the tears slipping slowly down his face. But he nodded and stepped back, jogging to the front door and letting himself into the house.  
Sans turned his attention back to Red. "Hey, hey, it's okay, they're gone, it's just us, there's no danger, hey, you're alright, you're safe, we're in UnderSwap, they're nice here, it's okay..."

Blue had his knees tucked tightly under his chin, listening carefully for any sign of the other two. He wiped away another stray tear, silently berating himself for being such a crybaby. He knew Sans hadn't meant it, that he'd just been worried about Red, but it still kind of hurt, and that combined with his own worry and guilt for setting him off was starting to get overwhelming.  
What if Red attacked Sans? From what he'd told them, he didn't always know who was around him when he was set off, he couldnt fully control himself. He'd had to kill to survive in his world, what if he--  
Blue cut himself off of that train of thought, letting out a muffled sob. Sans knew what he was doing, he could dodge anything Red could throw at him, he'd be fine. And he had been dealing with his own panic attacks for a long time, he knew what to say to bring him back, he'd be okay, he'd be okay, he'd be _okay_.  
There was a crack from the direction of their bedroom that signified a shortcut had been taken, and Blue couldn't help the strangled gasp of relief that escaped him as he jumped off the couch and practically ran to the stairwell. He'd gone up three steps before he realized that even if Red was back, they still might not want him up there. He came to an abrupt stop, caught in indecision as he listened to the sounds of their voices, muffled through the closed door. He stepped backwards down the stairs until he was on the ground floor, wringing his hands nervously and trying to decide what to do.  
Thankfully, the choice was taken out of his hands as a moment later, the door opened and Sans eased through, shutting the door carefully before turning around and catching sight of Blue, who promptly burst into tears.  
"Shit--" he heard Sans mumble, but he was crying too hard to say anything about the curse. A moment later, arms went around him and he heard Sans's voice saying, "It's okay, Blue, he's fine. I'm sorry I snapped at you."  
Blue buried himself in the other, trying valiantly to stop crying and failing miserably. This wasn't about him. In fact, this was all his fault!  
"I'm s-so s-sorry!" he sobbed out, gripping onto Sans like he was a lifeline.  
"Shh, it's okay, you didn't know, it's okay..."  
Sans kept up a steady stream of reassurances until Blue had exhausted himself and couldn't cry anymore. Sans picked him up, lifting him easily due to his smaller frame, and walked to the couch, sitting down and arranging Blue in his lap before grabbing the remote.  
"Here," he said, handing it to Blue. "Let's watch some TV until Red wakes up. Then you can see for yourself that's he's alright."  
Blue nodded and took the remote, turning on some NTT special that he'd seen at least a thousand times. They sat like that for a long time, Sans rubbing Blue's back comfortingly and making fun of the movie, much to Blue's chagrin.

A few hours later, Sans blinked awake to the glow of the TV and an empty lap. His tired brain didn't make the connection for where Blue had gone until he went to rub his eye sockets and encountered a sticky note that had been attached to his forehead. He pulled it off blearily, having to read through it at least for times before the words meant anything to him.  
_You fell asleep and I was tired so I went to bed, I tried to carry you upstairs but I couldn't. If you wake up, come upstairs! I love you!_  
He let out a long sigh, smiling softly, then he stood and stretched, his spine popping. He decided against taking a shortcut directly upstairs, in fear of waking the others, electing instead to make the harrowing journey up the stairs and down the hall. When he reached their bedroom door, he turned the handle slowly and eased it open, smiling wider at the sight that greeted him.  
Red and Blue were sound asleep, Red snoring softly. Blue was tucked into Red's chest, and Red had his arms wrapped tightly around the other, as though afraid he would disappear.  
Sans crossed the room silently, and when he reached the bed, he planted a kiss on Blue's temple before going to the other side and crawling into the bed next to Red. He took his hoodie off and threw it in the general direction of the laundry basket before laying down and wrapping an arm around the both of them, curling into Red's side.  
Red's breathing changed and his body shifted, turning more towards Sans and clunking their heads together accidentally. Sans, trying to quiet his giggles, rubbed at his head where it'd been knocked against Red's. Then he sighed contentedly and relaxed, letting his eyes fall shut and his mind wander as he slowly fell asleep.


	40. A Conversation of Sorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the chapter 50 special is coming up, voting between the finalists begins today, so I thought I'd give you guys a sample from each of the finalists, (except the papcest. I am really suck at Papyrus, guys) but with a slightly different and easier method of writing (hey, it's Christmas Eve, I needed this to be easier than usual lol). Enjoy!
> 
> Btw I'm going to call FF!Sans Daff for now (like daffodil because yellow flowers) because my creativity is at an all-time low (lowlowlowlowlowlowlowlowlow...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/CrushingOnSans) [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/crushingonsans)
> 
> The best way to contact me is by email! crushingonsans@gmail.com

 

 **Errotic**  
"Hey Error."  
"What do you want?"  
"Hey, no need to get salty! I was just going to ask you a simple question!"  
"Ugh. Fine, what?"  
"Are you a thief?"  
"What? Have you been talking to Red? I gave that stuff back, he can--"  
"Cause you're stealing my heart!"  
"..."  
"What?"  
"I will tear you apart, piece by screaming piece."  
"Kinky..."  
"Oh my god, Lust. Why are you like this?"  
"Baby, I was born this way!"  
"I wasn't kidding about killing you."  
"I know! It's just one of your many charms!"  
"My many charms?"  
"Yeah, like those tongues of yours!"  
"Thats not even...Those arent--"  
"Don't do that, Error."  
"Don't do what?"  
"Put yourself down. There's no reason to do that."  
"...thanks?"  
"You're wel _come_!"  
"Was that a fucking pun?"  
"...well I was going to deny it but now I feel the need to point out that yes, it was a _fucking_  pun"  
"I'm seriously going to kill you."

Also See Chapter: 32

 **Cherryberry**  
"Jesus Fuck, Blue, haven't I told you not to sneak up on me like that?"  
"Language! And yes, but it's just too funny!"  
"Whatever. Did you need something?"  
"Yes, actually. I need to borrow the first book of Twilight!"  
"I'm sorry, _what?_ "  
"Twilight! I can't find the copy Alphys lent me, and I never got the chance to finish it! Can I borrow yours?"  
"I don't own that piece of trash!"  
"Yes you do, Red, I've seen it, you keep it under your bed with your--"  
"Alright, alright! Damn, okay, just a second, let me grab it."  
"Thank you, Red! It seems like a pretty good book!"  
"Yeah, I guess. Here, but you have to promise not to tell anyone else about this."  
"Scout's honor!"  
"What does that even mean?"  
"I'm not actually sure, but it was in a human movie and I think like a promise!"  
"Yeah... Okay. Well, just... Hurry up with it, okay?"  
"Yes, sir!"  
"I don't appreciate your sass, ya fucking Blueberry"  
"Language!"

Also See Chapter: 2, 7, 11, 12?, 16?, 19?, 24, 29?, 30, 38

 **Rust**  
"What the hell is wrong with you?"  
"Oh, so many things, cherry-boy!"  
"Do _not_  call me that."  
"Oh, alright. You take the fun out of everything."  
"Yeah, that's me, constant fun-sucker. Don't look at me like that, I know what I said and I'm choosing to ignore it and move on. You should do the same."  
"If you say so...fun sucker."  
"Do _not_."  
"I will do what I want, thanks though, love."  
"Don't call me love"  
"Okay, seriously, who pissed in your--"  
"Do you ever shut up?"  
"No, not usually. Hey, I like your collar, where'd you get it?"  
"UnderFell. You might not want to go wandering around in there."  
"Oh, no, I get all my leather stuff from UnderFell, don't worry about me!"  
"What--"  
"But I've never seen the likes of that collar! Did you make it or something?"  
"No!"  
"...did Papyrus--"  
"You know what, you can just shut the hell up forever."  
"Only if there's a ring gag involved."  
"Oh my god."

Also See Chapter: 8?, 24

 **StonerBros**  
"Checkmate!"  
"Sans, we just started playing three seconds ago. I'm pretty fuckin' sure you can't already have checkmate."  
"I know, I just really like the look of panic in your eyes when you hear me say it. And it beats yelling fire because then Blue might come downstairs and yell at us."  
"Oh, by Toriel, let's avoid that, shall we?"  
"I'll do my best!"  
"That's not particularly encouraging"  
"Hey, how about you shut the fuck up and let me beat you at chess?"  
"Yeah right! Prepare to get totally wrecked."  
"I mean, I'm down for that instead of chess if you really want..."  
"It's your turn, asshole."

Also See Chapter: 24, 26

 **Fell x Razz**  
"Razz, you're doing that incorrectly"  
"Excuse me, fucker, I think I know how to scroll through a Pinterest board."  
"No, no, I meant _not_ being a pussy."  
"You know what, asshole? You'll be sorry when I make this almond-cherry lava cake and you don't get any."  
"What I actually meant to say --"  
"Ha! That's what I thought."

Also See Chapter: 24, 31

 **FF!Sans x UT!Sans**  
"What do you _mean_ you just killed the human?"  
"I mean I just killed the human, what about it?"  
"How _could_  you?"  
"...hey, hey don't cry, what's wrong? They come back, they always come back."  
"I know! I know they do but this is killing them! Every time they die, it...it's one step closer to permanent!"  
"Daff, I don't know what you're talking about. Please, calm down."  
"The flowers! What, you're gonna tell me you haven't noticed the fucking flowers?"  
"...what flowers?"

Also See Chapter: 27

 **Stretch x Slim**  
"Well hello there Edgelord, how're things poppin'?"  
"What does that even mean?"  
"How're you hangin'? How's the show with the go? The tick with the tock?"  
"I'm assuming you're attempting to speak English but I don't understand you."  
"Aw C'mon Slim, you're killing me here."  
"I would never kill you, you're no threat!"  
"No, yeah, I know that you think that, but it's just a figure of speech."  
"Oh. Well that is stupid."  
"It's not that stupid. It's just...I dunno. It's a thing."  
"Well it's a stupid thing."  
"Hey maybe I like stupid things."  
"I'm a mechanical engineer, but you like me!"  
"Oh, don't even pretend to be all hurt, I can see you smiling! I didn't know you knew how to joke!"  
"M'Lord doesn't like them."  
"Of _course_  he doesn't!"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Nothing at all. Want to go to Muffet's?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These conversations have nothing to do with whatever the final product will be, they're just to give you a general idea of how I write my characters in relation to each other. I have the other chapters that have these pairings included listed as well!


	41. Tis the Season 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last of this series! I hope you guys like it! Merry Christmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in This Series: 22, 28, 34, 41

Blue, Fell, and Papyrus had been working feverishly the entire day to prepare for Christmas. Somehow, they had ended up with 24 people invited to come to their amazing Christmas feast! While all three of them were very excited, they had all realized, much too late, exactly what it took to feed that many people. Not to mention the decorating, the presents, the wrapping, the candle buying, everything you needed for a real Christmas experience. Neither Blue nor Papyrus had ever made Christmas dinner for more than just themselves, their brothers, and maybe a couple of close friends, and since Fell hadn't even known about the holiday at this time last year, he was in no way prepared for the insanity that the day had become. 

Red, Sans, and Stretch, who had been put in charge of the shopping, had finished their jobs early on, which, of course, led to the three of them sitting on the couch and watching TV as the others worked themselves to exhaustion. They were all far too tired to berate their brothers, but Stretch especially had been on the receiving end of a few too many glares to feel entirely safe going anywhere near the kitchen. So there they sat. 

As the smells of the amazing foods that were being prepared drifted into the living room, Sans groaned aloud. They hadn't been allowed into the kitchen in  _hours_ , and they'd had much more exercise today than they were at all used to. In other words, all three of them were absolutely starving. And that is where they encountered a problem. 

"There is no fuckin' way I'm going anywhere near that room. Boss might actually kill me, and death by frying pan doesn't seem like a very good way to go," Red insisted, and Sans had to admit he had a point. Glares and silent treatment were one thing, but the casual violence the UnderFell brothers regularly exchanged could escalate into something dangerous fairly easily, given the tension they could feel almost radiating from the kitchen. 

"I don't want to go in there. Blue can kick my ass just as hard as your brother can, you guys just haven't seen him properly pissed off yet!" Stretch said, throwing his arms into the air. Red sighed loudly, and Sans was inclined to agree with him. But they had had this exact same argument so many times that he could almost recite Red's response. 

"Your brother is LV 1! He couldn't actually hurt you."

"What my brother lacks in a murderous history, he more than makes up for in enthusiasm."

"Will you two stop it?" Sans finally said, leaning forward so that he was between them. "For Gods sake's alive! I'll just go!" And with that, he stood and stomped across the room to the kitchen door.

He regretted his decision almost as soon as he entered the room, the feeling of stress permeating the air like a perfume. "Hey..." he managed to croak out, but they didn't seem to hear him. Well fuck.

"Hey!" he said, louder this time. Now, three pairs of angry eyes immediately turned on him and the instinct to just run away and starve quietly was suddenly much more present. Instead, he made the dumb choice, as usual, and said, "Hi. We're pretty hungry out here, do you mind if I come in really quick and just grab something to--"

"Sans! We do not have time for this right now!" Papyrus almost shouted. Sans winced slightly, trying to avoid looking at all of them as he began to slowly back away in spite of himself. 

"Sorry!" he said, feeling as though he was digging his own grave. "We just need something to eat!"

All was silent for a long moment as the three of them seemed to consider the best way to kill him. Sans had to remind himself that fried bone was neither appetizing nor edible, and they really wouldn't actually destroy him. Right?

Then Blue huffed loudly and stomped to the fridge, yanking it open and grabbing a handful of something. He didn't even turn around as he chucked whatever it was at Sans as hard as he could, reaching immediately towards another container. 

Sans dodged the projectiles, not entirely sure that Blue hadn't infused them with killing intent. Curious, he leaned over and picked one up, starting to laugh as he realized they were ketchup packets. He dodged the next group, which appeared to be mustard, then leaned down to start picking them up, stuffing them in his hoodie pocket. The honey was thrown next, and one hit him in the skull hard, actually making his HP drop a tiny increment. As soon as he realized this, Sans stopped laughing and just gathered the rest of the packets with his magic and did his best not to run from the room, Fell's snickering echoing from the kitchen. 

"So?" asked Stretch. "Did you get us anything?"

In answer, Sans used his magic to throw all of the packets at Stretch's head at once.

X-X-X-X

"Hey Blue?"

Blue had been alone in the kitchen, putting away the leftovers and wiping down all of the visible surfaces. The guests had long since gone home, and he had thought everyone had gone to bed, leaving him to clean up himself. He was sure they hadn't meant to, that Papyrus and Fell especially had only forgotten or perhaps supposed that since it was a holiday, the cleaning could be put off just this once. 

He turned around to face the speaker, smiling softly when he saw who it was. "Hello! Did you need something?"

Red stepped forward, taking the rag out of his hand and seeming to fumble for words for a moment. "Thank you." he said finally. Then he turned and began wiping down the counter Blue had just left off at. Blue just watching his for a few seconds, then he stepped forward and hugged Red tightly around the waist. "Of course, Red. I'm glad you had a good time!"

When Blue let go, Red turned around and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Nah, I mean, yes, I had an amazing time, but no. I meant..." he took a deep breath. "Thank you for everything. For making these last few weeks into everything my brother and I have never had. And even before that, for giving us a home, and being so nice all the time, and just...well, you've given us so much more than we even knew existed. And I don't even know how to begin to thank you for that. I know we don't really deserve it"

Blue's eyes filled with quiet tears and he smiled, a real, deep smile that he hoped expressed from the bottom of his heart how much he had enjoyed all of it. "You're welcome, Red. I hope I get the chance to keep doing that, until the both of you start believing that you deserve every bit of happiness that you receive."

Red smiled at him for a split second, then he turned back to the counter. Blue grabbed another rag and began to help. They fell into a steady rhythm, and everything got very quiet around them. Despite the silence, Red's next words were so quiet that Blue nearly missed them. 

"Merry Christmas, Blueberry."

Blue smiled again. "Merry Christmas."


	42. Betrayal 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a continuation instead of a prequel! MAKE SURE YOU'VE READ [BETRAYAL LEADS TO LOVE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8681998) BY SANSYFRESH BEFORE YOU READ THIS OR STUFF MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE!!!
> 
> Warnings: Slight rapey vibes. Nothing blatant or even actually stated, just stay safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters in this Series: 6, 14, 33, 42

 

Red took another bite of his fourth breakfast burrito, chewing eagerly. He didn't notice Stretch or Blue watching him with a sort of disgusted fascination until he had finished with that mouthful and was preparing to take another. "What?" he asked, doing his best to glare at them.  
"This right here is some quality entertainment. Is your brother feeding you?" Stretch asked with a snort.  
Red flipped him off and tried to stuff the rest of the burrito in his mouth as a screw-you to Stretch, but only succeeded in making a mess.  
Blue sighed deeply and took his plate from him. "Papy, this is what happens when you tease him. What have I told you two about doing this?" He scraped the remaining food off of Red's plate and put it in the sink with the rest of the dishes before turning back to glare expectantly at them.  
Red's mouth was a bit full, so Stretch answered for the both of them. "That a little competition is good for the soul?"  
"Papy!"  
Red would have grinned if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied as the brothers fell to their usual light bickering. Instead, he finished what was in his mouth before standing and making his way quietly to the doorway. He peeked through in the direction of the couch, and was greeted with the sight of his brother holding the smaller skeleton close to his chest, rubbing his back lightly. Razz appeared to be asleep again, and when Red appeared in the doorway, Fell looked up. He ceased his soothing motions for a moment to sign something in hands quickly to Red, who nodded and went back into the kitchen.  
Blue and Stretch were still bantering, and by the sound of it, Stretch was three or four puns into destroying his brother's sanity for the day.  
"Hey, not to interrupt or anything, but can you two keep an eye on Razz and Fell for me? I have to go take care of some stuff"  
They paused, and Stretch nodded quietly, but Blue, after a moment of hesitation, made his way around the table to grip tightly to Red's arm. "Don't kill him," he said quietly, blue eyes pleading.  
Red sighed, then nodded. "Don't worry. I won't," he said, then he carefully freed his arm and took a step back, appearing in an instant just outside the shed in his world.  
Sans was dozing lightly, but as soon as Red took a step forward, his eyes flashed open and there was a blaze of magic, ready to destroy whoever was daring to challenge him. Red shuddered slightly, not for the first time being thankful that this asshole was on their side. When he saw it was Red, he settled his magic back to normal and stood, grinning languidly. "How's Razz?" he asked, raising a browbone.  
"He's going to be fine. How's the fuckface?" Red asked.  
Sans shrugged and moved to one side so Red could get by. "He's been trying to yell a lot. Count me thankful that Fell gagged him. Hey, thanks for not involving Papyrus in this, by the way."  
"No problem," Red replied. "Do you wanna go grab some breakfast? They've got leftovers over in SwapFell."  
"Nah, I'd better get back to Paps. Didn't tell him I was leaving and all that. Thanks for the offer. "  
And with that, he disappeared. Red looked at the place where the other had just been and then took a deep breath. Sans always unsettled him for some reason, and that was not how he needed to be feeling for this conversation.  
When he had calmed slightly, he unlocked the door and let himself into the shed. Closing the door behind him, he turned to face the skeleton in the middle of the room.  
It had always been dark in the shed, and it was even darker now that the only window in the room was being half blocked by the huge magic suppressor that was sitting on the windowsill. Slim was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, bound and gagged and glaring.  
"Morning, Sunshine," said Red lazily.  
Slim just kept looking at him like he was going to kill him.   
"Oh, I'm fine, thanks for askin'," he grinned at the other. "So. We've got ourselves a bit of a dilemma here. See, as much as I'd like to kill you for using my brother, I've got a couple of berries who'd be quite upset at that turn of events. So... What to do with you...?"  
Red walked a slow circle around Slim, examining his bonds and assuring himself that the other was still trapped. Something felt wrong about this. There was something he was missing, but he didn't know what it was.  
"I can see how you might not deserve to die," he continued, looking casually around the room for anything out of place. "I mean, sure, you're a cheatin' asshole, but maybe you just made a mistake. We all make those, after all. So I could let you go and hope you repent for your mistakes."  
Slim snorted at that, and Red narrowed his eyes, moving to stand in front of him again. "But I get the feeling that's not gonna happen," he said shortly, crouching to get on eye level with his brother's alternate. There was something in his eyes, something that was making Red nervous, not that he would ever show it. "Besides, since you're meant to be like me, apparently, I get the feeling that you'd go after Razz or my brother. And that's not gonna happen, not on my watch."  
Slim was still looking at him with that smug look in his eyes, like he knew something Red didn't. Well. Might as well give him the chance to tell him then, shouldn't he?  
"Let's hear what you think," he murmured, reaching out to remove the gag.  
When he mouth was free, Slim coughed a few times, then looked at him with malice and coldness and still, that smug expression that seemed so out of place with his current situation. "I think you're an idiot," Slim rasped. Red was inwardly shocked at the confidence in the other's words. He had only ever heard Slim speak as though he were afraid of everyone around him. He had always seemed so much like Red himself used to be, beaten down by the world, hopelessly devoted to someone who barely saw him as worth their time. How had they all been so entirely blind?  
"Hey, that's not very nice, kiddo," Red said, grinning.  
Slim smiled back, which shouldn't have surprised Red as much as it did. "Well, I'm not particularly nice," he said. "And I have no interest in my brother, or yours. Sans will no longer protect me, so he has served his purpose. And your brother...Well, he was entertaining while he lasted, but his usefulness has expended itself. He is so very much like Sans, after all, so he will not allow me back into his bed, I'm sure."  
Red just stared at this skeleton he had once considered a friend. The more the other talked, the more he was beginning to realize how false he had always been, how much of a mask he had been holding up. It made him sick to his stomach that they had all spent so long assuming...Well. That was certainly over, by any means. "Then what do you want?" he asked.  
Slim grinned wider, then leaned forward until he was right in Red's personal space. "A new toy," he growled.  
Red leaned back to get some distance between himself and the other, putting himself slightly off-balance. Then his eyes flicked up to the magic suppressor, and he realized what was wrong just as Slim shot out an arm, knocking him over and overpowering him in a matter of seconds. His eyes were lit up, signifying the use of his magic, and Red cursed himself for being so stupid. Sans had been prepared to use magic when he heard Red coming. Red had appeared at the very edge of where he knew the suppressor could reach, but he, the idiot he was, hadn't put two and two together and realized that the suppressor was no longer in commission.  
Slim looked over him, seeming to rake his eyes up and down Red's prone form. Red couldn't help the shudder of revulsion that ran through him as he realized that the other had him at his mercy. He felt the hold of blue magic on his soul grow stronger, and he squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a strangled sob of fear despite his best efforts. He was entirely trapped, and he was so aware of it he wanted to cry. But he wouldn't give this sociopathic bastard the satisfaction.  
To his surprise, he felt Slim lift himself off of him, and opened his eyes quickly to see the other dusting himself off casually. His bonds has entirely disappeared, leaving Red to wonder...  
"Why are you still here? You could have left at any time, why did you stay?" He asked, curious despite himself.  
Slim paused for a moment, regarding him. The look in his eyes made Red want to close his eyes again. "I wanted to see who would come. If it had been your brother, then..." Slim smiled again, the coldness of the gesture making Red shudder. "Well. We needn't get into the details. But you're... Not as desirable, to say the least. All of the flaws of my brother and the weaknesses of yours. No... you're not worth my time."  
Then he was gone, and Red was free. He didn't notice the automatic tears that were streaming down his face as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing quickly.  
"Boss? We have a very big problem, I'm on my way back now. Don't let Razz out of your sight."


	43. Whoa Bro No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had an AU idea that has probably been thought of before, but I have no idea by who, but anyway, I thought it would make for a funny chapter. 
> 
> This one time, skeleton incest is not considered to be an acceptable behavior. This kind of dirty lying will never appear in my stories again, I can assure you xD
> 
> Just warning you, this is really self-indulgent and a large portion of it doesn't make sense. If any of you feel that this isn't what you didn't pay for, please direct all comments and concerns to your nearest real-life human because I'm not changing a dang thing. Thank you!

"Damn it, I wish this would stop happening," growled Fell as he picked himself up out of the snow that covered the ground thickly.  
"You and me both, buddy," came a drawling voice from behind him. Fell huffed and turned to help his lazy alternate stand up. As Stretch brushed himself off, the others that were scattered around them began to stand as well, Red muttering his agreement with the other two under his breath.  
"Maybe this version of Comic won't try to kill and eat us!" chirped Blue, ever the optimist.  
"Hey, it's a version of you, too!" Comic groaned, massaging his ribs where he had landed much too hard.  
Blue shrugged, helping Rus to his feet. "I mean, you could technically say I'm more a Papyrus than a Sans."  
"Oh, I'm sorry princess, what's your given name again?" Red shot out rudely. Blue stuck his tongue out at him and Red responded by flipping him off.  
"Okay, children, let's go find the Sans here so we can go home," Fell said, rolling his eyes and starting down the path. The others followed behind, Red and Blue still bickering and Comic interjecting a pun here and there to egg them on.  
The path from the landing spot to the skeleton brothers' house was always a long one, but Fell's annoyance with the other members of their party made this trip seem even longer. When the house came into view, Fell breathed a quiet sigh of relief at the fact that there were Christmas lights visible. The first time he had seen a version of his home with them, he had thought they were the stupidest and most useless things he had ever seen. While he still believed that to be true, he had long since discovered that any world where they were a feature didn't seem to be immediately life-threatening.  
He led the others straight up to the front door, knocking confidently and taking a step back. There was some shuffling, then the door flew open and there stood a skeleton that looked almost exactly like Rus.  
Fell blinked. Despite their numerous misadventures through the multiverse, most versions of himself differed from one another in one way or another. The way they dressed, the way the looked, something. But this skeleton almost seemed to be an exact copy of their classic counterpart.  
"OH. HELLO!" said Papyrus, looking shocked for only a moment or two. He seemed to consider something, then he stepped aside and said, "I THINK YOU'D BETTER COME IN."  
Fell stepped inside, followed by the others, who all shuffled their feet and looked around cautiously. Rus was the last to step inside, and Papyrus looked him up and down, grinning widely, before proclaiming, "I SEE YOU HAVE BOTH A HANDSOME FACE AND A GREAT TASTE IN CLOTHING!"  
Rus smiled back, and said, "OF COURSE I DO! I AM VERY GREAT, AFTER ALL!"  
"Oh, no, there's two of them," came a voice from the direction of the kitchen, and Fell turned to see an... almost-exact copy of Comic standing before them. This version, instead of being dressed in the signature blue hoodie and black shorts, was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt under a blue apron that read "Bone appetite" in large white letters.  
As they noticed him, he untied the apron quickly, hanging it on a hook by the door way before stepping into the living room. "Nice to meet you," he said, holding out a hand to Blue.  
Blue grimaced, then seemed to resign himself to his fate before reaching out and grasping the other's hand. Sans just shook his hand and let go, starting through the motions of shaking another hand before noticing the shocked looks on everyone's faces. "Uhhh...Something I can help you with?" he asked, seeming uncomfortable.  
Comic spoke up, shoving his hands deeper into his coat pockets. "We were expecting a whoopie cushion."  
Sans's face lit up, and he let out a short laugh. "Oh, man. It's been a while since I've done that!"  
Papyrus frowned at him and folded his arms, though he seemed to be trying not to smile. "YES, AND WE'RE ALL GRATEFUL FOR IT!" he said loudly, prompting another grin from Sans.  
"Anyway, why don't you guys come sit down? I assume you're here for a reason," he said, gesturing at the couch. Red, Comic, and Stretch made a beeline for the more comfortable seats, Red throwing a weak attack at Stretch when he tried to make him sit in the middle. Fell, Rus, and Blue all seemed to sigh at the same moment before following, Blue plopping himself down on the floor in front of them and Rus sitting carefully on the arm while Fell elected to stay standing where he was.  
Sans watched this procession with a look of mild confusion and amusement before turning to Papyrus. "Don't you need to get ready for work?" he asked softly.  
Papyrus looked between Sans and the others, then raised a browbone in a more serious look than Fell had ever seen Rus have.  
Sans pushed lightly on his chest plate, grinning. "I'll be fine, Paps. Go get ready, you don't want to be late."  
Papyrus nodded slightly and made his way upstairs, making it halfway before Sans called after him, "Can you check on Roman while you're up there? It's about time for him to wake up."  
Papyrus nodded, making a motion that said   _well duh_ and continuing up the stairs.  
Sans turned to the rest of them, his grin much less wide now that Papyrus was no longer in the room. "So, I assume this is some sort of alternate timeline thing? I've seen the theories, but this is an entirely new step."  
"Yeah..." said Comic distractedly, his eyes following Papyrus up the stairs before he frowned. "Who is Roman?" he asked quietly.  
Sans gave him a strange look. "My son...?" he said, seeming confused. Then his eyes widened. "Do you not have--"  
All three of the Sanses shook their heads quickly, Blue looking particularly shell-shocked at the idea.  
Sans nodded slowly. "That explains a few things," he said quietly.  
"Like what?" asked Red, already bristling.  
Sans raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. "Like the fact that you three--" he gestured widely at the three lazybones taking up the majority of the couch, "--smell like weed and bad decisions."  
Comic and Stretch both just shrugged and nodded slightly, entirely aware of their bad decisions, but Red glared at the other angrily and opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, Rus piped up, "I'm afraid we will need to borrow the machine in your basement to return to our worlds."  
Sans nodded again. "Of course, I can take you down there as soon as--"  
He was interrupted by the sound of a door opening upstairs, accompanied by the sound of an annoyed babybones. Sans glanced upstairs, momentary worry flashing across his face as he listened. After a moment, he seemed to relax, then Papyrus appeared, holding a small skeleton close to his chest.  
"HE NEEDS TO BE FED, SANS, BUT I HAVE TO GO TO WORK!" he sounded distressed in a way they all knew very well from their varying amounts of time with Rus, and Sans smiled fondly.  
"Don't worry about it, Paps. Here, hand him over, I'll take care of it in a minute."  
He crossed the room and held out his arms, taking the baby from Papyrus and cradling it closely. "Now get to work, you're running a bit late!" he said, grinning again.  
Rus leaned over to Comic as Papyrus pulled on his boots and said, "Maybe you should spend some time with this Sans. He could teach you something." To which Comic rolled his eyes and sank deeper into the admittedly comfortable sofa.  
As Papyrus ran out the door, Sans crossed back to them, rocking Roman, who had quieted when he had been handed to his father.  
They all waited for a moment before Fell spoke up. "As you were saying--" he began, only to have Sans wave a hand to quiet him. "Just a sec," he said quickly, seeming to be waiting for something.  
Suddenly, the door burst open and Papyrus come rocketing back in and over to Sans. "I FORGOT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT!" he announced, and Sans grinned, turning to face him.  
"Same thing as usual, Paps?" he asked jokingly, and Papyrus scrunched up his face in annoyance before seizing Sans by the chin and planting a very chaste kiss on his teeth.  
"I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, SANS! HAVE A VERY GREAT DAY!" he proclaimed, then planted another kiss to Roman's forehead before turning back to the door.  
Sans nudged him lightly on the shoulder. "Go to work, Papyrus, seriously, you're gonna be late!" he said, but he was laughing, and Papyrus didn't seem to take him very seriously as he grinned back and left the house.  
Sans sighed happily and adjusted the baby in his arms before turning back to his guests. They were all staring at him with a mixed range of emotions, from disgust to shock. He felt his smile falter slightly. "What?" he asked, confused by the suddenly very angry air in the room.  
"Dude..." started Stretch, but he was cut off by Red. "That is absolutely disgusting," he growled, making a face and trying not to look at his own brother.  
Sans looked even more confused. "What, kissing? You can't honestly expect me to believe you thought this baby actually came from Santa or something. We're married, of course we kiss!"  
Comic choked, and Blue squeaked, "You're _married?_ "  
Sans looked even more confused at this. "What, you're not?"  
"NO!" came a chorus of six voices, all with varying degrees of disgust in their voices.  
Sans made a face, shifting the baby in his arms. Fell noticed this, and then his eyebrows raised. "Oh my god...is that his baby, too?" he asked, sounding horrified.  
Sans turned to glare at him. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," he growled, seeming to get slightly annoyed at the others reactions. "What is the problem here? You're all alternate versions of me and Papyrus, right? Why is this such a foreign concept to you?"  
"Uh, maybe because that's absolutely _disgusting._  How could you want to marry _Papyrus_?" asked Red incredulously, earning himself a hard smack to the back of the head from Fell.  
Sans was staring at them all, anger very present in his expression. "What the hell is wrong with marrying Papyrus?"  
Stretch crinkled his nose. "Frankly, I'm more concerned about the fact that you had a child together. Why would you do that to the poor kid?"  
Sans was getting more and more pissed. "I don't know if you're trying to insult me or my husband, but I can tell you right now that I don't appreciate it, buddy."  
"Ugh, we're not trying to insult either of you, just your life choices," drawled Comic, causing the other to glare more directly at him. "I mean, I dunno if incest is just not a bad thing here or--"  
"Incest? What the hell are you talking about?" asked Sans, bristling further.  
"Sans," said Rus, as gently as he could manage. "I don't think that it's fair to the child to have created it between brothers. It could cause problems for your son later in life--"  
"Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sans said, holding up one arm. "I think there's been a misunderstanding here. You guys are all  _brothers?_ "  
"Papy and I aren't biological brothers!" said Blue, causing Stretch to choke and look at him in shock. Blue ignored him and continued. "Is it the same for you?"  
Sans looked floored. "No...by Asgore, not at all. We met in school five years ago, we aren't related in any way!"  
There was a long and awkward silence before Comic spoke. "Well, as the first of many long and awkward apologies.." he began before gesturing across the room. "Fell here has got a lot to say, I'm sure--"  
"Shut the fuck up, Comic," he snarled, as embarrassed by their assumptions as any of them.  
Stretch sat up slightly, pointedly avoiding Sans's eyes, and said, "Dude, there's a baby like right there, what is wrong with you?"  
Fell flipped him off with both hands and Sans sighed deeply. "I think we'd better get you guys home so that I can take care of my kid. Let me show you how to get to the lab."  
He led the others through a door under the stairs, all of them trying very hard not to say anything more than was necessary, but Stretch grabbed Blue and pulled him aside before they joined the others.  
"The hell do you mean, we aren't biologically related?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to change the way I update slightly. Instead of updating this story every day, I'm going to just update /something/ every day. So if I post a chapter of one of my other stories, I won't update this. It just makes it easier to keep up with things, and it shouldn't slow this down too terribly much!


	44. OT3 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I posted the last one of these pretty recently, but hey, sue me, I love writing these three together.
> 
> Make way for more of the same misunderstandings! But this time with even more fluff! Yay!  
> TBH though, it's a pretty realistic misunderstanding. Three-way relationships aren't exactly common, especially compared to cheating. But man, if they don't make for some pretty great adorableness and angst.

Fell knocked on the door to his brother's house, rubbing his exposed humeri in an attempt to stave off the cold. He really was getting spoiled in the city, where the large amount of people and machinery seemed to keep their surroundings slightly warmer than they were here.  
There was the sound of running footsteps, and Fell couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face. That had to be Blue, no one else in that house showed anywhere near that sort of energy. Fell, just like everyone else who had ever met him, had a soft spot for the little skeleton.  
The door swung open, and sure enough, Fell was greeted by the smiling face of his brother's alternate. "Hello Fell!" he stage-whispered, "Come on in, just try to keep it down for the moment, Red and Sans are asleep!"  
Fell snorted in derision, but did as Blue asked and stepped inside quietly, slipping off his wet boots before pulling a set of keys out of his pocket. "I just stopped by to return these, Red let me borrow them last week so I could get into the labs. But while I'm here, would you mind terribly if I used your sink? That mangy mutt crawled its way through my inventory and left its residue behind. I got rid of it, but now my hands are covered in dog residue."  
"Of course!" Blue exclaimed, his voice growing slightly in volume with his excitement at being a good host. "Would you like to stay for dinner as well?"  
"Oh, I don't know--"  
"I insist!" exclaimed Blue, smiling widely. His voice has gotten a bit louder, and it seemed to prompt some motion from the lump of blankets on the sofa, drawing Fell's gaze.  
It wasn't exactly unusual to see his brother sleeping on the couch. Red was continually crashing in odd places at random times, so the couch was one of the less surprising places to find him knocked out.  
What was unusual was the skeleton currently sharing the space, snoring softly. Sans had his head tucked under Red's chin, and his brother's arms were wrapped tightly around his rib cage as though afraid he would wake up to them being empty. They were both entirely dead to the world, and a large, fluffy blanket had been laid over the top of them. Their position was so obviously loving and intimate that Fell found himself blushing slightly before turning back to Blue.  
"How long has that been going on?" he asked quietly, trying not to be insulted that he hadn't heard it from his brother directly. Did he think Fell would disapprove? Sure, he complained about Red's counterpart a lot, but that didn't mean he would deny the others any happiness, especially when his brother had gone so long without it.  
"Only a couple of days," answered Blue, smiling softly at the two on the couch. There was something in his gaze that Fell didn't know how to identify. Then he looked back up at Fell, gesturing to the bathroom. "Feel free to wash up! I need to get started on dinner!"  
When Fell came out of the bathroom, hands now free of any trace of that stupid dog, Red and Sans seemed to be awake. Well, for the most part.  
Red was currently trying to push the other skeleton off of him, prompting a round of loud giggles with every shove. "Get off, ya big lump, I gotta go change."  
Sans grumbled, apparently still somewhat asleep (or maybe just faking it), and only seemed to clutch tighter to the other. "Nah...Too comfy," he mumbled, and Fell could see his grin pressed up against Red's t-shirt. Then he raised his head, looking Red in the eye before saying, "Also you smell nice. It just makes _scents_  for me to stay right here forever," before burrowing back into the other.  
Red snorted loudly at the stupid pun, trying to dislodge him again before seeming to give up, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands into the air. "Blue!"  
There was the sound of clattering from the kitchen, undoubtedly the sounds of Blue preparing dinner. "Yes, Red?" came the shouted reply.  
"Come rescue me from this horrifying skeleton monster, please!"  
Fell snorted loudly at that, drawing his brother's attention. Red's eyes widened and a dark blush bloomed across his face. "H-hey Boss...How long have you been standing there?"  
Sans's head popped up, and Fell could see dark blue covering his cheekbones as they made momentary eye contact.  
"Long enough for you to have thoroughly embarrassed yourself," Fell said, trying not to grin at how flustered the two were.  
"Oh, stop teasing them, Fell," came Blue's bright voice from the doorway. "Can the 'horrifying skeleton monster' come help me in here? I need some vegetables chopped and I'm trying to cook the meat."  
"Sure thing, Blue!" came the immediate reply as Sans scrambled off of Red and practically ran into the kitchen. Fell's eyes followed him before he looked back at his still-flushing brother.  
Red had sat up and was folding up the blanket, apparently trying not to make eye contact as his blush began to fade slightly. "What're you doing here?" he finally asked, not unkindly.  
Fell made his way to the couch, sitting lightly beside Red as he finished folding. "I dropped off your lab keys and Blue invited me to stay for dinner," he answered, then, more quietly, "I'm glad you're happy. It's been a long time since I've seen you smile like that."  
Red glanced up at him in shock, but before he could say anything, there was a loud crash from the kitchen, followed by a lot of laughter. Red flinched, looking up at the doorway, then stood quickly, looking like he was very grateful for the excuse not to continue the conversation. "I should go see--" he started, but Fell waved a hand, cutting him off.  
"You said you had to change, right? Go ahead, I'll go see what's wrong," he said, standing up and beginning to make his way towards the kitchen. Red didn't move for a moment, then Fell heard him sigh quietly and start up the steps to his room.  
He looked around the edge of the doorway, and saw Blue picking up an empty pan, seeming to be recovering from the loud noise and the surprise of suddenly dropping something so heavy.  
While he was thus distracted, Sans reached from his place at the cutting board to steal some of the cooking meat, popping it into his mouth before Blue could stop him.  
"Hey!" Blue said, giggling slightly. Neither of them seemed to have noticed his presence in the kitchen, and Fell found himself preferring it that way. It felt like he was missing something here, the air between the two seeming to be different than he would have expected.  
"What?" Sans said, his voice laced with false innocence. "I didn't do anything!"  
"I _saw_  you!" Blue laughed, walking back over to the stove and setting down the empty pan before swatting Sans on the shoulder. Sans grabbed the hand and pulled him closer, causing Blue to stumble slightly and allowing Sans to wrap him up in a hug, still grinning at him like the cat that ate the canary.  
"What? Me eating your mea--"  
"Don't you _dare_  finish that sentence, Sans!" Blue cried, trying to push the other away despite the large smile across his face.  
Sans just pulled him closer, planting a chaste kiss on his teeth and saying, "Aw, come on, you know you love--"  
"What. The. _Fuck?_ "  
They both swung around to stare at him, looking shocked. There was no guilt on their faces, which just pissed Fell off all the more. They didn't even feel bad about this?  
"Fell!" started Blue, frowning at him and letting go of Sans. "Please, watch your lan--"  
"No! No, you don't get to act all innocent after that!" Fell yelled, glaring at the two of them.  
Sans's eyes widened in understanding, and he took a step towards Fell, his hands out in a placating gesture. "Hang on, this isn't what you think--"  
"How is this anything else? You're in here, fucking _kissing_. What, is that just a gesture of overwhelming friendship in your backwards worlds? How could you cheat on my brother? How _dare_  you?"  
Blue spoke up now, looking worried. "Fell, please just--"  
Fell snarled at the other two, cutting Blue off just as Red walked into the kitchen. Blue looked affronted, but Sans laid a hand gently on his arm, silencing him before turning to Red. "Red, your brother just walked in on us kissing and drew the obvious conclusion. Help, maybe?"  
Red looked between the two and his brother, a grin growing on his face. Fell didn't understand what was happening, but he got the feeling there was something going on that he wasn't privy to.  
"Red, don't you dare!" Blue's voice intruded on his thoughts, and he was startled to see the small skeleton glaring at his brother like he was the one who'd done something wrong. "Don't you remember what happened last time you did this? It's not--"  
Fell only had a split second to be confused by the bright cyan blush that suddenly flooded over Sans's face before Reds spoke.  
"How could you?!" Red exclaimed, throwing a hand across his face like he was in a soap opera. "My very own self!"  
"Red--" Blue started, sounding slightly annoyed.  
"Nooooo! You don't get to say aaaanything!" Red was still acting like he was in a middle school play, throwing his arms around in the air and breathing heavily, with very fake-sounding sobs sounding out between each breath.  
Sans snorted loudly, looking amused by this whole situation, his blush beginning to fade. Fell glared at him. Just because Red was being an idiot that didn't know how to handle his emotions didn't mean that this asshole got to _laugh_  about it!  
"Betrayal! Sadness! Jealousy!" Red was shouting, stomping in circles around the other two.  
"Oh my god, Red--" Blue tried again, reaching out and grabbing Red by the arm.  
"Bitterness!"  
"Stop!" Blue said, but he was giggling. "First of all, you can't just shout out the emotion you're supposed to be feeling, that's not--"  
"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" Fell shouted.  
Three pairs of eyes turned towards him at once, amusement fading into a mixture of confusion and resignation.  
"Red, how can you be joking about this? These mother _fuckers_ ," Fell shouted, putting emphasis on the swear and glaring directly at Blue as though daring him to say anything about it, "have done something unforgivable, and you're acting like an idiot!"  
There was a long, uncomfortable silence before Sans spoke up. "Fell, we actually--"  
"Shut. Up." He growled, shifting his glare from Blue to Red's supposed boyfriend. "How could you possibly do something like this to him? My brother is one of the most loyal people you will ever meet! He doesn't deserve this bullshit! And just because he can't confront this doesn't mean I won't for him!"  
Before Fell could say anything else or summon an attack to dust the traitorous fuckers, a hand was placed gently on his arm. "Boss," started Red, a smile on his face like Fell hadn't seen in a long time. "Thank you for sayin' that, but I think there's been a misunderstanding."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dinner was somewhat awkward after this lmao


	45. Mean...Girls..........idek guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...I watched Mean Girls for the first time in forever today. I...I just...wrote this bullshit...here, just take it, I'm so sorry, this is so stupid. I just took some of my favorite quotes from Mean Girls and wrote little stories around them in the Undertale multiverse. Because fuck it.
> 
> Also that picture from eli-sin-g helped with the whole inspiration thing, I inserted it at the end because I don't know how to put images in the summary. Check out their Tumblr if you're over 18!

**I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.**

"Just...be cool, dad, okay?" Sans said, almost desperately, to his father.

Gaster peered at him over the top of his glasses. "Oh, I assure you, Sans. I can be cool."

Sans blanched. "I take it back! I take it back!"

Gaster stood, doing his best to dab and saying in his most monotonous voice, "That's pretty lit up, son. What are those?"

The color of Sans's face in this moment could have rivaled the ocean itself. He dragged his fingers down the front of his face with a groan. "Dad, please stop"

"Damn Daniel."

"Uggghhhhhh"

"I think you're cool, dad!" piped up a voice from across the room. Gaster turned to see his other son smiling up at him innocently from where he was sitting on the floor.

"Don't encourage him!" protested Sans, and Gaster grinned and winked at Papyrus, who continued smiling happily. 

Gaster started doing the cabbage patch while making direct eye contact with his oldest son. "I think I'm pretty groovy. What, you can't handle deez nuts?"

Despite himself, Sans snorted in laughter before stomping off in the direction of his bedroom. "I'm telling all my friends that my birthday is cancelled."

"No, Sans, it's okay, yo, I can be hip and cool! Watch my sick moves! I play the Nintendo all day!"

"STOP!"

 

**Don't have sex. You will get pregnant and die.**

Red was sitting quietly, enjoying some peace and quiet after a  _very_ long day, when a scream rang through the house.

He immediately jumped to his feet, running in the direction of the scream. Scenarios began to run through his head which ended in his lover dead or worse, and when he reached the bathroom door only to find it locked, he immediately began pounding on it almost desperately. "Blue! Let me in, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

The door clicked open and Blue practically fell through and into Red's arms. He was sobbing uncontrollably, and Red quickly checked him over for any injuries. Finding nothing, he just wrapped his arms around him and waited it out. 

Finally, Blue seemed to calm down a bit, and he managed to say, through his sniffles, "Papy said this would happen!"

Red continued rubbing the other's back as he asked gently, "He said what would happen?"

"I'm dying!" came the whimpered reply, and Blue buried his face back into the front of Red's jacket. 

Red frowned, looking down at the top of Blue's head. He could be wrong, but he was pretty sure there was no reason for Blue to be afraid of dying. "Why, exactly, are you dying?"

Blue broke into a new round of sobs, and it took a moment before he had calmed down enough to answer. When he finally did, Red thought he must have heard wrong. "Papy said that if I have sex, I'll get pregnant and die!"

As soon as he realized that that was, indeed, what the other had said, he burst into laughter. Blue leaned back, frowning at him slightly. "This isn't funny! I don't want to die!" There were perfect little tears dripping down his face now, which, combined with the pout, just made him all the more adorable. 

Red did his best to stop laughing, then said, "Blue, you don't die when you--" he stopped suddenly, staring at the other. Several things clicked into place and he seized Blue by the shoulders. "Wait, are you pregnant?"

Blue burst into sobs again, burying his face in his hands. "Y-yes!" he cried.

 

 

**Is butter a carb?**

"I want to lose three pounds!" said Fell angrily, waving around the diet book he had found at the dump.

Red groaned aloud, then threw his hands into the air.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING TELL YOU, BOSS, WE. ARE. SKELETONS. WE CAN'T DIET!"

 

**Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?**

It was Blue's first day of school, and he had been so excited this morning! It had been a very great day, befitting of the Sansational Blue! Now, it was lunchtime, and as he carried his tray to a table full of all his new friends, someone stepped out from between the benches with a notebook.

"Hello." the other said, smiling widely. This skeleton had purple eyelights, which were in the shape of hearts. He wore a black crop top with a purple vest and leather pants. "I'm from the school newspaper, and we're conducting a survey of all the new students!" 

Blue's chest puffed out. Of course they wanted to interview him! He was very magnificent, after all! "I would be honored!" he said excitedly. His response seemed to prompt a round of giggling from the table behind him, but he ignored it and focused on the interviewer. 

The skeleton in question grinned at something Blue couldn't see, then turned his attention back to where it should be. He cleared his throat, very officially, then asked, "Is your muffin buttered?"

Blue frowned at him, confused, then he glanced down at his tray. Today's lunch had been pizza and carrots. There was nothing resembling a muffin or butter anywhere in the vicinity. He looked back at the other, who was grinning at him and attempting to hide it. "I don't know what you mean..." he said cautiously, wondering if perhaps the other just hadn't expressed himself clearly enough. 

The other grinned widely at him, then, not even pretending to read out of his notebook anymore, asked, "Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?"

Blue was even more confused. He didn't even  _have_ a muffin! "I dont--" he began, but he was cut off by a voice to his left. 

"Lust, stop being such a fucking skeeze," it said, and Blue turned to look at him. He blushed almost immediately. This was Razz, top of the food chain in popularity and very much aware of it, at least according to his new friends. 

The interviewer, Lust apparently, performed a lewd gesture, then tucked the notebook in a jacket pocket before slipping around Blue and sitting at the table that had been laughing earlier. 

"Hey, I'm Razz. What's your name?"

 

**Nice wig, Janis, what's it made of? YOUR MOM'S CHEST HAIR**

Sans sat quietly on one of the couches of the multiverse meeting room. He really didn't feel like engaging in conversation, and that was a lot harder to avoid if he actually stood up and mingled. And so he sat. 

Suddenly, someone plopped down quite violently beside him, prompting him to look up, slightly annoyed, to see who had intruded on his personal space. 

He was greeted by the sight of the obnoxious and dark version of his brother. Fell, maybe?

"HELLO!" the other said, seeming about as overjoyed to be here as Sans was. "THE BLUEBERRY MADE ME SAY HELLO TO YOU SO HERE I AM."

Sans raised one eyebrow. "Well, hello, then. Don't let me keep you."

Fell practically jumped to his feet, immediately spinning around to walk away. Sans tried not to be insulted, and failed miserably. Hey, why not take this chance to be completely petty?

"Hey, nice armor, asshat, where'd you get it?"

"YOUR MOTHER'S CLOSET!" the other responded without missing a beat. 

Sans just flipped him off behind his back before closing his eyes. Well. It was always fun to make new friends. 

 

**I'm sorry people are jealous of me, but I can't help it that I'm popular!**

"Okay, I know we all have a lot to apologize for, so let's just go around the circle here and say our apologies?" Blue intoned, pointedly not looking at the huge mess that was now his living room. 

Red grumbled for a moment, then turned to Sans and said, "I'm sorry I called your brother a cream-puff and threw you across the room with magic."

Sans nodded, accepting the apology, then turned to Stretch. "I'm sorry I told Red you were an asshat."

"Wait, when did you do that?"

Without missing a beat, Sans continued. "Also, Blue, sorry for smashing the table with Red's back. And I'm extra sorry for doing the same thing to the wall."

Red snorted. "Where's my apology for being used as a wrecking ball?" he asked angrily.

"Oh, I'll tell you exactly where--"

"Okay! That's enough! Stretch?" Blue asked quickly, cutting Sans off before another fight started. 

Stretch blew a cloud of smoke into Red's face, then said, "I'm sorry that I keep blowing smoke in your face, Red. I know it pissed you off." Ignoring Red's stuttering, he turned to Fell. "And I'm sorry I tried to break your arm. Won't happen again and all that."

Blue turned expectantly to Fell, who was sitting with his arms folded, glaring at the floor. 

When he realized Blue was looking at him, he let out a sigh of exasperation and threw his hands into the air. "I'm sorry I'm a better fighter than everyone else and that I effectively defeated all of you."

There was a long pause, then Red said, "Boss, you didn't even fight any of us except Stretch."

"Shut the fuck up, Sans."

 

**If you're from Africa, why are you white?**

Overtale Sans certainly felt out of his element here. He had never seen so many skeletons outside of a museum, and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to again. But hey, there was apparently free food at this thing, so why not try it out. 

He had walked directly over to the food table upon his arrival and he hadn't moved since. 

"Oh! Hello, human!" came a voice from his left. He turned to see a tall skeleton with a white breastplate and a red scarf smiling down at him. This must be the skeleton version of Papyrus. 

"Hey," he said back, and this Papyrus frowned. 

"You sound like Sans. Why do you sound like Sans, human?"

Sans shrugged. "Probably because I'm a Sans."

Papyrus looked him up and down, confused. "If you're a Sans, why are you a human?"

Another voice came from Sans's right, and he turned to find a shorter skeleton with a grey breastplate and a blue handkerchief. "Oh my gosh, Rus, you can't just _ask_ people why they're human!"

 

 

 

**Now, for some alternate versions of funnies that I just don't feel like constructing a story around. Sorry, it's like 2:30 AM. I hope you like this shitpost of a chapter!**

"Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by Razz" *Fell's hand whips up faster than the speed of sound, followed by everyone else in the room*

"Get in loser, we're going human hunting"

*talking about Slim* "That's why his jacket is so fluffy. It's full of secrets"

Fell: "Red, I don't hate you because you're useless and lazy. You're useless and lazy because I hate you."

"On Wednesdays, we dress like McEdgeLord over here. His reaction is all I need in my life."

Sans: "Made out with a hot dog? Oh my god, that was one time!" 

Red: "Hey, Sans, smell me really quick. Do I smell okay?" Sans: "You smell like a baby prostitute." Red: "Perfect! See ya later!"

Blue: "My brother takes his skull off when he gets drunk." Sans: "Your brother and I have that in common"

"Fell, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time when you got diarrhea from eating all my magic laxitives. And I'm sorry I told everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now."

 

Picture from eli-sin-g on Tumblr!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys it's like 3AM or something, why do I make such bad decisions? I shouldn't be allowed to publish when I'm this tired.
> 
> Comment your favorite Mean Girls quote, I'm just feeling "You go Glen Coco" right now but normally it's "Boo, you whore"  
> Neither of which I used in this. What the fuck, guys?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ...why am I posting this? This is a very serious one-shot collection. 
> 
> Well those sarcastic looks you're all giving me are very uncalled for...


	46. Rad to the Bone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, and that it's so late! It's new years, so real life got very busy, and i honestly just didn't have the energy for anything else. I hope this is a funny idea, anyway! Happy New Year's!

Stretch really didn't mean to dent Fell's armor. He'd just been playing with his blue magic when he sneezed in the middle of moving the remote and, well, the armor had been collateral damage from it flying across the room.   
Now, of course, the obnoxiously loud skeleton was loudly complaining that he had nothing else to wear and that he should be allowed to kill Stretch in retaliation.   
"Fell," started Sans, rubbing his eye sockets in exasperation. "For the last time, you can't kill people because they dented your armor.   
Fell folded his arms and glared at the smaller skeleton. "How is it that your world is so entirely backwards?". Sans didn't deign to respond, instead just groaning loudly and burying himself in the couch cushions. In the proceeding silence, Fell continued. "Fine! I will concede in this one and only instance. But I truly have nothing else to wear.   
Red coughed loudly, prompting immediate retaliation in the form of a small bone attack thrown at him by Fell. This, of course, only garnered more interest.   
"What's up, Red?" Stretch finally asked, curious in spite of himself.   
Red glanced at Fell, seeming to weigh his options. Then he grinned and said, "Well, Boss, you do have one other outfit..."  
"Shut the hell up, Sans!"   
Papyrus peeked in from where he was in the kitchen preparing dinner. "Fell!" he gasped, his eyelights going very big and round. "Do you have a cool outfit under your clothes as well?"  
Muffled snickering came from Sans and Red as Fell immediately blushed scarlet. "No!" he practically screamed.   
"Do not worry!" Papyrus affirmed, stepping out of the kitchen and making his way towards Sans. "Brother, help me out of my battle body!"  
Sans sighed deeply before sitting up and beginning to help Papyrus unclasp the breastplate as he continued. "Fell, I will also wear my cool outfit! That way, you can be comfortable while you repair your own armor!"  
Stretch snickered quietly at the look on Fell's face, only to choke when Fell said, "Fine. But only if Blue joins us as well. I will not be one of a pair." Fell ignored Red's insulted look and began to remove his own armor.   
"There's a bit of a problem with that." came a timid voice from the corner.   
"What's wrong, Blue?" Fell asked, pausing in unclasping the straps and looking towards him questioningly.   
Blue wrang his hands nervously for a moment, staring at Stretch out of the corner of his eye. "I...I don't have one of those outfits. It's...Uh...Apparently just a Papyrus thing."  
There was a long moment of uttermost silence before every head in the room turned towards Stretch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do ya'll think Stretch's cool dude costume would look like?


	47. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the length, again! I am putting sooo much into the chapter 50 special, i am so excited for you guys to see it! I hope it lives up to my hype lol
> 
> This one is a scene from my personal favorite actual fic to write, The Undying. It's not necessary to have read any of that to understand this, so don't worry it's not supposed to be a spon lol. The only reason you might want to have read it is because the characters in it are a little (a lot) OOC, and that would give you some context, but this is just Sans and Alphys so...
> 
> Warnings: Suicidal Ideation/suicide attempt of sorts (depressing and sad, sorry guys)

Alphys rubbed her eyes tiredly. She really should be in bed by now, but hey, getting enough sleep didn't really matter in the long run, not when the human would probably reset it all soon anyway. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she felt the memory modifier give a little lurch, like it was afraid she would try to take it out again. She shook her head. She must really be tired. It was a machine, it wasn't about to start feeling emotions. 

She stood up, stretching carefully to avoid aggravating the burn she'd gotten on her side from being a little too experimental with some fire and a Kissy Cutie figurine. She began to make her way to the up escalator when she heard a loud  _crash_ from downstairs. She stared at the elevator door, sighing deeply. Well. This was new. 

She stepped into the elevator and pushed the down button, the doors sliding shut and the whir of machinery beginning to pick up as she descended. She wasn't particularly concerned. Anything that got destroyed would be good as new, come the next reset. And hey, that included her, so why bother to take any real precautions?

When the elevator reached the bottom, the doors slid open and she stepped out. There was another crash, and she made her way towards it carefully, her innate survival instincts kicking in slightly.

She stepped through a doorway, only to dodge as a folder flew past her head, scattering its contents onto the floor. She looked around the room, quickly spotting a small figure digging through some cabinets. 

"S-sans?" she asked carefully, taking a few steps forward. "What are you doing down here?"

He practically threw himself onto the ground in his panic at her voice, only catching himself at the last moment and stopping himself with his hands. He lifted himself to his feet slowly, swaying slightly as he fought to find his balance. Alphys frowned. She had noticed an increase in his reckless behavior over the last several resets. She didn't know a lot about his past after he and his brother disappeared once their father died, but when she had asked Undyne why he seemed to be driving himself into a ditch, she had said that he was guilty over some things he had done for the Royal Family. Alphys didn't know for sure, but she assumed it had something to do with the fact that he was the first sentry the humans encountered when they left the ruins. 

He seemed to be collecting his thoughts, reaching out to grab tightly onto the desk he stood beside. Damn it, he was really drunk. Alphys hoped he wasn't violent when he got like this. She didn't want to fight. 

"I-I'm just...lookin' for some stuff," he finally slurred, eyelights growing more hazy by the second. 

Alphys watched him carefully, searching for some sign of why he was being so vague. "Like what?" she asked. 

"Just...somethin' of my dad's. Just needed to grab something."

Alphys sighed deeply, leaning down to pick up some of the scattered papers he had thrown. "Well, can you do it  _without_ destroying my files?"

He snorted in laughter, and there were suddenly tears streaming down his face. "I mean, technically they were supposed to be my files someday, weren't they? That's what everyone thought, at least."

She just watched him, trying to figure out what was going on. 

"But...but that doesn't really matter. Think I'd almost rather be the Judge than the Scientist, most of the time. I can keep Paps...more safe that way. Sometimes." he continued, still crying. "But it's okay, it's-it's alright, Alph. Don't worry about those papers. They'll just go back when it starts over."

Alphys froze. "W-what?" she asked, hope blooming bright in her soul.

He waved a hand carelessly in her direction. "Don't worry about it, Alph. I just...I just gotta find my dad's thing. Don't worry about it." and he went back to digging through the drawers. 

"Sans..." she wanted to ask if he remembered. She needed to know if he remembered. But...but she couldn't do it. She couldn't handle the answer being no. "W-what are you l-looking for? M-maybe I can help you find it?"

Sans shrugged, then he gasped and held up a dark metal object. "I found it! Look, Alph, I..." he whipped around to show her what was in his hands, but lost his balance and dropped it, nearly falling again. 

Alphys stared in horror at what he had dropped, then quickly snatched it from the ground before he could recover.

"H-hey! I need that!" he said, seeming to recover slightly before lurching forward and landing on his face. 

As he tried to get up, Alphys backed away from him very slowly. "W-why do you n-need a g-gun?!" she asked, horrified, in part, that Gaster even had this.

"I just need it, Alph, I need to use it. It's my dad's, you can't just--" his arms went out from under him and he slipped back onto his face.

"What the hell are you going to use it for?" she demanded, staying carefully out of his reach. 

He started to sob, great, heaving breaths wracking their way through his body as he lay on the floor. "Alph, you don't understand, I just need a break, I just need to get out of here for a little while. Please, Alph, you won't understand, please just give it back"

She stayed away, still watching him as he struggled to get to his feet, a challenge made even more difficult by his crying. "You need a  _break?_ What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know what that will do to Papyrus?"

His sobs grew louder, and he managed to lift himself onto his knees. He buried his face in his hands, his words muffled

Gathering her courage, Alphys got down on her knees, tucking the gun carefully away where he wouldn't be able to get it from her. "What did you say?" she asked quietly.

"I don't want to watch him die again."

She stared at him in shock. "Sans..." she began, hardly able to let herself believe it. "Do you remember the resets?"

His hands flew away from his face and he did his best to scramble back, away from her. "W-what?" he asked, his tears slowing.

She took another deep breath, then said, "I know about the r-resets too. Y-you're not alone in this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 50 Special Teaser:  
> Blue’s chest was heaving, and he continued staring at Red with anger and magic and a threat in his eyes. “Why, exactly, should I trust you?”  
> There was a long moment of suffocating silence. Then…  
> “Because you’ve always trusted me to be better than I ever even dreamed I could be,” Red said, simply. 
> 
> Because I'm an asshole and also I'm really quite excited for this, I'm gonna do this with the next two chapters as well. Woot woot!


	48. *OT3 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look another one of these! Yay!  
> This one literally has no plot, I just put I Don't Want To Live Forever by Zayn on and started writing fluff and let it flow from there. I don't think that's the song in the story, it's just the mood I was in, so it works if you want to listen to it while you read. 
> 
> Warnings: unironic use of the term "I ship it". Don't report me, guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE SOLID IDEA FOR THIS OT3 SO AFTER THAT ONE THE REST WILL PROBABLY BE RAMBLY AND PLOTLESS. IF ANYONE HAS AN IDEA OR A SITUATION OR SOMETHING THEY'D LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN, LET ME KNOW!

Sans rolled over sleepily, blinking his eyes open. He winced at the bright light that immediately flooded his eye sockets, rubbing at them with one hand as he sat up.  
He was alone in the room, but he could hear the sounds of Blue and Red talking and laughing downstairs and...Was that music?  
He got out of bed, dressing slowly before opening the bedroom door. He walked across the landing, peering over the balcony at his boyfriends.  
Red was sitting on the couch, legs crossed, elbows on his knees and hands supporting his chin. He was grinning unabashedly at Blue, who was in the center of the room, swaying and bouncing his arms along to the beat. Was he...dancing?  
"I think you need to move your feet a little more," Red commented, and Blue, of course, immediately balanced on one foot and raised the other one to kick at Red. Sans knew that it wouldn't hurt if it connected, and judging by Red's grin, he seemed to know it too. He caught Blue's foot anyway, giving it a slight tug and causing the smaller skeleton to fall to the floor with a yelp.  
"Red!" Blue protested, but he was laughing. Sans grinned, leaning further over the banister to watch them better.  
As Blue tried to sit up, Red uncurled his legs and leaned forward, grabbing his counterpart and pulling him up and into his lap. Blue was still laughing, pushing away Red's face as he tried to kiss him, protesting that he was supposed to be practicing.  
"Aw, come on, what are you even practicing for?" Red chuckled, still trying to pull his face closer.  
"Is it a wedding dance? Because I ship it!" called Sans from his place upstairs. He grinned wider when they both looked up at him, a blush blooming across Red's face.  
Blue got up and ran up the stairs to him. "Sans! Come dance with me!" he said, holding his hand out to the other.  
Sans heaved an exaggerated sigh, then gave Blue his hands like it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. Blue snorted and dragged him down the stairs, almost making him trip. When they arrived, Red was back in his earlier cross-legged position, staring at the both of them like a lovesick schoolgirl.  
Sans had only a moment to snicker at the image that thought produced before Blue had whirled him around and was gripping onto his waist and one of his hands. "Put your other hand on my shoulder!" Blue exclaimed, seeming very into this, as he was with most things.  
Sans smiled at him and obeyed, settling his hand very softly on the place where Blue's humerus met his clavicle. Blue tugged on him and he automatically took a step forward. Blue stepped back, seeming excited. "Great job, Sans! Just follow my lead!"  
Blue pushed them to step back and forth, meeting the beat of the song, then very suddenly, he lifted the arm that held Sans's hand into the air and used the other to push him into a spin, giggling as he caught him when he came back around.  
"That's my favorite thing to do!" Blue exclaimed, then he did it again.  
Sans couldn't help the breathless laughter that escaped him as he almost stumbled, Blue barely catching him in time. Blue tried to tug him to step forward again, but Sans let go of his shoulder in favor of the back of his head, pulling him into a kiss. When they parted, Sans winked at him. "Well, that's mine," he said flirtatiously.  
Blue huffed, but Sans could see the smile in his eyes. "You two are insufferable," he said, dropping Sans's hands and starting to dance by himself again.  
Sans took a moment to appreciate the sight before he plopped down on the couch next to Red. Red moved his arms, and Sans laid down and put his head in his lap, letting his eyes hood as he watched Blue's swaying.  
"Sleep well?" Red asked quietly, rubbing a thumb along the side of Sans's head.  
"Yeah. I feel a lot better now. I don't know what it is, I've just felt really worn out lately."  
"Why? You don't do anything."  
"I do more than you!"  
Red snorted, moving his hand to rub at Sans's back as they continued watching the other's dancing. "How do you figure that?"  
Sans grinned, looking up at him out of the corner of his eye. "I sleep on the far side of the bed from the door. That's like an extra six steps!"  
Red let out a bark of laughter, apparently caught off-guard by that answer.  
Blue turned back to look at them questioningly, but Red waved him back to what he was doing.  
"You're such an ass," Red said under his breath, and Sans immediately raised his hand into the air, smirking. Red grabbed onto it and pulled it back down, gripping tightly. "Hey, no tattling. I can't afford to put any more money in the swear jar."  
Sans chuckled and they stayed there for a second before Red's hold shifted and the restraint of his grip turned into something more like hand-holding. Sans shifted slightly so that he was looking up at Red. His darker counterpart was watching Blue happily, and Sans's soul warmed. He held tightly to Red's hand and closed his eyes, letting himself drift back off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI, it was a new exercise method that Alphys suggested to him. I think she was thinking more Zumba than slow dancing but hey, that fluff wouldn't be as adorable. 
> 
> Chapter 50 Teaser:  
> “I AM HAPPY!” Blue yelled back. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before jabbing a finger in his brother’s face. “You have absolutely no right to tell me what to do, or what makes me happy! I love Red! I really do, more than anyone or anything! I just didn’t know that’s what it was until he got down on his knee and my whole body just...just lit up, like the sun was right there and I was as happy and warm as I would ever be! So you sit down, shut up, and stop making assumptions about whether or not I’m happy!”  
> ((Just saying, I'm not even finished yet and this thing is 23 pages long on google docs. Ya'll are getting so much effort lmao))


	49. Void Trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Octoberpersephone for giving me the idea to write this! 
> 
> I have a headcanon that Stretch has just about everything in his hoodie pockets. This is just Sans and Red finally noticing.
> 
> Again, sorry about the length. I am putting almost all of my attention on the special. It's so long. It's like an entire fic all by itself. Seriously.

The TV in UnderSwap was an uncontested piece of absolute shit. 

Sure, Sans's TV had broken a few times, but since three of those times were immediately following spilled drink incidents, he was pretty sure that was his own fault. And of course the TV in UnderFell got broken a lot, but that was because it had a tendency to be thrown across the room by one brother or the other. 

The UnderSwap television was warped on the top somehow, so it made it impossible to set drinks down on top, and since the Swap brothers weren't exactly known for committing acts of violence, this thing didn't have any excuses. It was just generally shitty. 

And so it was that Stretch, Sans, Red, and Slim found themselves in that living room, staring at the blank screen. "Well fuck," said Red, "What did you do to it?"

Stretch shrugged noncommittally and walked across the room to a couch, plopping down heavily. 

Slim sighed and pulled off his coat, crawling into the space between the TV and the wall as he set to work fixing it. He was the only one of the four who knew how to do this, for some reason, and it was becoming an all-too-present common occurrence. 

Sans and Red joined Stretch on the couch, idly watching Slim work. There were some taps, then, "Stretch, do you have a screwdriver I could use?"

"Sure," Stretch said, then he reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out a screwdriver, standing to hand it to Slim. 

Slim took it and examined it. "Oh, sorry, I actually need a flat headed one," they heard him say, sounding chagrined. 

"Oh, no problem," Stretch said, putting the other screwdriver back and pulling out a different one. Slim took it with a thanks and Stretch went back to sit down. 

Sans and Red were staring at him with mixed expressions on their faces. "What?" Stretch asked, slightly confused by their apparent surprise. Then he pulled a bottle of honey out of his pocket and started sucking at it idly. 

"What's up with the Mary Poppins of coat pockets?" Red asked, staring at the coat pocket in question. 

Stretch just grinned and winked before pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "Void Trick," he said, winking as he lit one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 50 Teaser:
> 
> “I...I can feel my soul reaching out for you. I didn’t know what it was before but when you’re right here, I can feel myself wanting to be closer to you. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”  
> (yes it did change I like this one better) 
> 
> Also, I would recommend going back and reading chapter 7 before tomorrow if you haven't in a while.


	50. CHAPTER 50 SPECIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!!  
> The title of this (if it wasn't the special) would have been "Believe in Me"  
> Oh, gosh, I hope you guys like this. I love it. I put way too much effort into it. It ended up being 33 pages long on Google Docs! So, I will probably not have another part to this. It's all the parts together. Like, this is practically a full fic in my mind, it's 18,500 words. A normal chapter for me is like 2,000.  
> Lmao I hope this isn't too "vanilla ice cream" for you. When CherryBerry won the voting, I know there were a lot of people disappointed, so I tried to make it as interesting as possible.
> 
> Excerpts taken from: Chapter 7, Chapter 24 (scene 33)  
> Warnings: Violence and extreme injury, death, angst, heartbreak, kiiind of suicidal ideation? More of an “I don't care if I die” than an “I want to die”
> 
> ...And on that note, ENJOY!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SansyFresh (who is AMAZING, by the way) wrote the [second-place winners](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9195065/chapters/20861903) from the voting! And it turned out to be a THREE-WAY TIE, so they are especially amazing! Go show them some love!  
> Believe in Me is also posted in chapter by chapter form [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9239672/chapters/20954456). Along with an epilogue that isn't included here, so go read that!

 

_ “Hi! I’m Blue! What’s your name?” _

_ He held out his hand towards the other, who looked at him distrustfully and made no move to take it. “That’s a stupid name,” he growled, his gold tooth flashing slightly in the light.  _

_ Blue just shrugged and smiled, withdrawing his hand. “Well, I like it, and that’s what really matters!” he said brightly, then continued. “I don’t think I caught your name.” _

_ The other sighed loudly and stuffed his hands deeper into the pockets of his scuffed leather jacket. “Sans, same as the rest of you fuckers,” he said finally. _

_ Blue frowned. “Please watch your language,” he insisted, prompting a laugh from the other.  _

_ “What, you got a fucking problem?” _

_ Blue’s frown deepened, and he stepped forward, into the other’s personal space. “As a matter of fact, I do,” he said, narrowing his eyes. The other looked surprised for a moment, then opened his mouth as if to speak. Blue interrupted him with a laugh, then clapped a hand on his shoulder and stepped back. “I’m just kidding!” he said brightly. _

_ The other gaped at him for a moment, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the words to express his confusion. Blue didn’t give him the chance, however, grabbing his elbow and beginning to drag him in the direction of the refreshment table, chattering away. “And I know your name is Sans, of course! But we can’t all be Sans, that would be confusing! So you need a nickname! Ooo, we should match!” _

_ “Why the hell would we match?” the other growled, the red magic in his eye sockets flaring slightly as he considered whether or not he should be trying to get away from the smaller skeleton or simply punching him in the face. _

_ Blue turned back to face him, a huge, happy smile across his face. “Because besties always have to match!” _

  
Red hated patrols. If he had to have a stupid, useless job, why did he have to get exercise while doing it? It was unnecessary. But what Fell said, went, so Red found himself stomping through the woods angrily, practically daring anyone to jump out and cause trouble. He shouldn't be working. He shouldn't even be in UnderFell. He should be tearing apart the multiverse to-- He was jerked out of his reverie as he kicked at a clump of snow he was walking by and managed to trip over a rock that had been hidden underneath it.    
Cursing, he fell onto his face, having failed to break his fall with his arms. He lay there and groaned for a solid two minutes before he heaved himself back to his feet and turned to the offending rock. He considered prying it out of the ground and finding out exactly how much magic was required to shatter it into pieces, but decided it wasn't worth the effort and just stomped on it instead.    
He continued on, grumbling more loudly now, but he had barely gotten five feet before he tripped again, this time managing to find his balance before he fell.    
"Oh,  _ fuck _ you, ya piece of shit rock!" he yelled. He whipped around to look for it, deciding that it was, in fact, worth his time to destroy the thing.    
Instead of a rock, he was confronted with the brightest orange thing he had seen in a very long time. It was some sort of cloth, partially covering a figure that was facedown in the snow.

Cautiously, he approached it, summoning a long, thin bone construct in one hand. He stopped a little ways from the prone monster, then held out the bone, lightly poking whatever it was, then jumping back like a small child with a bug when the thing responded by moving slightly. Steeling himself, he flipped the orange piece of cloth off of the potential threat, then jumped back again.     
It was a skeleton. A fairly small skeleton, even smaller than him, if that were possible. Unlike him, their bones were perfect and unmarked, the stretches of whiteness practically gleaming in the soft light of the forest. Their face was pressed into the ground, soft breaths the only sign they was still alive. They were clutching tightly to the orange piece of cloth, as though afraid that it would be taken away from them, and they were clothed only in a white t-shirt and dark pants.    
Red recognized him immediately, beginning to panic slightly as he crouched down and reached to flip him over, hesitating for a moment when he realized that the orange cloth was going to impede him in that goal, as tangled into the back of the other’s ribcage and arms as it was.   
Red reached for the awful thing, grasping what he now realized was a sweatshirt of some kind by the sleeve, his panic keeping him from making any significant connections from it, and attempting to pull it away from him. If anything, the small phalanges only curled into the cloth tighter, and he began hearing small gasping whimpers that told him the skeleton was awake, which made him breathe a sigh of relief and wonder why he wasn’t getting up on his own. He stopped pulling on the hoodie for a moment, and instead kneeled and took the other by the shoulder, flipping him over carefully.    
Red's breath hitched when he saw what was stopping the other from doing anything.  There was a slash through his whole ribcage, from his right clavicle to the edge of his left floating rib. Bright red marrow leaked from the wound, which Red found himself recognizing far too well.    
Then his eyes shifted up to the other's face and he sighed. "Blue?" he asked quietly, and though the other's tired, terrified eyelights showed no sign of recognition, he continued. “Where the hell have you been?”

Upon receiving no further response than faster, more panicked breathing, Red carefully slipped his arms under the smaller form and lifted, picking the other up with an ease that shouldn't have surprised him. Then he shortcutted directly to his room and laid Blue down on his bare mattress. He then blipped to the bathroom and back, now with the first aid kit.    
Marrow had completely soaked the white t-shirt, and Red hissed under his breath. How was he still alive? He started to remove the shirt, slipping one arm carefully through a sleeve, then turning to do the same with the other before he realized that he still had ahold of that awful orange sweatshirt that he should have immediately recognized. He gave it a tug, and when there was no sign of letting go, he grumbled under his breath and just lifted the shirt over his head, pushing the whole thing far enough down his arm so that he had room to work. Blue appeared to have passed out, having used some of the last of his energy to hold on to the hoodie.    
He began cleaning the wound, clearing away the marrow and bits of shattered bone, and...dust? Red frowned. Dust only came from monsters that had died, and Blue clearly was not dead. Then he caught sight of the gray smears on the orange coat, and it clicked. 

Stretch...   
He finished cleaning the wound carefully, trying not to think about it. Then he was left with a stripe of broken ribs, the ends of which he applied ointment to and wrapped carefully.   
When he had finished, he stood up, taking the supplies back to the bathroom, then taking a shortcut down to the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge and grabbed a container of leftover lasagna. After quickly heating it up and grabbing a fork, he went back upstairs.    
Blue was awake again, but just barely. He looked around blearily as Red entered the room, not seeming to be able to focus. Red set down the container of food and silently helped the other sit up against the pillows. "Here," he said finally, picking up the lasagna and cutting off a small piece for the other to eat. "This will help you heal."

Blue opened his mouth mechanically, and Red pushed the fork in, making sure it was absorbed completely before getting a new piece. This way, the entire slice was gone in a few minutes, and the smaller skeleton was looking more and more alert. Finally, as he finished absorbing the final piece and Red set the empty container aside, he managed to choke out, "Who--who are you?"   
Red didn't answer immediately, looking at the other's round blue eyelights. “You don’t know me?” he finally asked, but it was more of a statement than a question, and the other didn’t bother to answer.    
Blue seemed confused for a moment, then said, "I--I'm Sans. Who are--"   
"Me too, sweetheart," Red cut him off gently when it seemed like he wouldn't be able to say anything else. "But people like you call me Red. Howsabout I call you Blue to match?"   
Blue just blinked at him for a moment before nodding tiredly. "Okay," he whispered, apparently too tired to question it.    
Red stood, picking up the now-empty container, and said, "You should try to sleep, alright? It'll help you heal. We can talk more the next time you wake up." **  
** Blue's eyes flashed with something like fear, and he seemed to be trying to sit up straighter, though all that accomplished was for him to scoot his arms back and let out a long, unfiltered groan of pain. Red gently made him lay down, whispering assurances under his breath, half to himself and half to Blue. When the other was settled and seemed to have calmed down enough to sleep, Red left the room quietly, letting his back rest against the door for a moment as he fought back tears. Then he went down to the kitchen and put the container in the sink, absentmindedly beginning to wash it, trying not to think about what it meant that Blue didn't seem to know who he was. 

 

_ “Because I don’t fucking want to talk to you, you little shit!” Red cried, attempting to close the door in Blue’s face.  _

_ “Yes you do! Everyone wants to talk to the Sansational Blue! You don’t have to be embarrassed by your love of my greatness!” Blue yelled back, pushing on the door relentlessly.  _

_ Fell was sitting calmly on the couch, completely ignoring the entire exchange in favor of the book he currently held in his hands.  _

_ “Are you fucking serious?” Red yelled back, trying unsuccessfully to push Blue out of the way. _

_ “No, of course not, but you still need a friend and I’m here for you!” Blue gave an extra hard slam, knocking Red onto the floor and calmly letting himself into the house, closing the door behind him.  _

_ Red jumped to his feet, swearing loudly, about to forcibly pick the other up and throw him through the nearest window, when Fell stood up and set his book aside, glaring at the two of them.  _

_ “Can you two please keep it down? Some of us would like a little bit of peace and quiet!” _

_ Red grumbled under his breath about where he could stick his peace and quiet, but Blue shifted back and forth for a moment in silence. “You have a beautiful home, Fell!” he finally chirped nervously, but Fell just shook his head and walked into the kitchen. _

_ They both watched him go, but Red turned back to Blue as soon as he was out of sight and hissed, “I will kill you if you do not leave right this minute.” _

_ “No you won’t!” _

_ Red was spluttering, and Blue grinned at him happily until he said, “Oh yeah? Fuckin’ check me, then!” _

_ Blue cocked an eyebrow at him, but obeyed without another word. Red had almost the same stats as his brother, except… _

_ “See? I have LV. I really will kill you. So leave. Now.” _

_ Blue regarded him carefully, rethinking some things. Then he nodded decisively and said, “No, you still won’t kill me. I’ve heard about your world, and I can understand something about your situation. You must not have thought you had any other choice.” _

_ Red had frozen completely, staring at him like he’d never seen him before.  _

_ Blue took a step forward and grabbed the other’s hands, smiling kindly. “Besides, I know you can be better. Anyone can!” _

_ Red seemed to be fighting an internal battle, but finally, he sighed and pulled his hands away. “Fine, ya fucking blueberry. What do you want to do?” _

_ Blue’s squeal of delight was enough to make even Fell smile from the next room. _

  
Red had just finished drying the dishes when he heard the door slam open, his brother's shouting filling the house. "SANS! YOU LEFT YOUR POST EARLY, YOU--"   
Red practically ran to the doorway, swinging halfway around it and throwing a weak bone construct at his brother to get his attention. "Fuckin' shhhhhhh!" he hissed at the other, who seemed confounded by the fact that Red was daring to attack and then shush him. "Blue's trying to sleep upstairs," he added quietly, and Fell’s mouth dropped open.

“Blue is back?” he asked, and Red nodded silently. “So you found him, then? He's okay?”   
Red moved back into the kitchen so that his brother couldn't see the look on his face as he said, "Yeah, kind of."   
He went back to washing the container, rinsing the soap off and drying it quickly as he heard his brother come into the kitchen. 

“Kind of?”

“I found him while I was out patrolling...he was laying in the snow and he...he…”   
"Is he okay?"   
Red grasped onto the edge of the counter, breathing deeply. He opened his mouth, and a choked-off kind of sob came out before he could stop it. He set the container down very carefully, studiously avoiding looking at his brother as he said, "No. No, not really."    
There was a long moment of silence as Red tried to steady his breathing. He didn't want to show this kind of weakness in front of his brother. Crying because you were scared was just something you didn't do in this world, no matter how much you might want to. No, he needed to suck it up, to pretend he didn't care if Blue lived or died or forgot all about him--   
Another dry sob racked through his chest, and he found himself sitting on the floor very suddenly, with his brother holding him close to his chest and rubbing his back. He couldn't even appreciate the rare show of affection through the haze of fear and sadness that seemed to be pulling apart his soul from the inside.    
"What's wrong with him?" Papyrus asked quietly, still rubbing Red's back as he cried.    
"He-he had the-the.." Red couldn't find the words to say it, so he just made a slashing motion across his chest, and Papyrus nodded in understanding. "And h-he doesn't know m-me, he d-didn't r-recognize me at all, and h-he had S-stretch's sweatshirt, and th-that m-means--"   
"Stretch is dead?" Papyrus asked, surprised. "Why was he even in Swapverse? And isn't Blue supposed to go before Stretch?"   
Red nodded, still crying. He didn’t know what this meant, that things had changed so drastically. He didn’t know how to even begin to respond to the news that Stretch was dead. Not that the world held any permanence. He’d be back at some point.   
They sat there in silence for a long time, Red sobbing while his brother held him close. It was a role reversal for something they hadn't done since they were both children, starving on the streets of the Capitol, but Red couldn't appreciate it because he was so entirely stuck in the room upstairs next to the small skeleton sleeping in his worn-out bed.    
  


_ Blue really shouldn’t have been surprised. He let his face sink into his hands as he sighed tiredly. Well. There was really nothing for it. There was no reason to sit here and wait for someone who was never going to come.  _

_ He stood quickly, leaving a large tip on the table as an apology for not ever having ordered anything, and left quickly, pulling out his phone. _

_ Red answered on the third ring, his voice even scratchier than normal from lack of sleep. “What?” he growled, but Blue knew he didn’t mean anything by it. _

_ “Hey, Red,” he said, making his way down the path towards his house. His voice sounded thick, which he attributed to the unshed tears of embarrassment. “Are...are you busy?” _

_ “No...didn’t you have a date tonight?” _

_ Blue grimaced before answering, “Yeah. But they...uh...well they never showed. So I’m free! Want to go do something?”. He forced a false note of happiness into his voice, hoping it would be enough to save what little face he had left.  _

_ There was a long moment of silence, and Blue considered telling the other not to worry about it when Red finally spoke. “Meet me in Taleverse in five minutes.” then he hung up.  _

_ Blue looked down at the now-silent phone in confusion, then shrugged, making his way to the machine. _

_ Fifteen minutes later, they stood in the middle of a carnival on the surface. Blue’s previous sadness was forgotten, and he had both hands covering his mouth as he bounced up and down in excitement. Red was grinning at him, apparently pleased with himself. _

_ “Oh, Red, this is so cool! Look at the roller coasters! And the cotton candy, Ooo, can we get some cotton candy?” he knew he was babbling but he didn’t care, spinning around and seizing Red by both hands, his excitement making him talk so fast his words were nearly indecipherable.  _

_ Red was laughing, nodding along to the many questions being asked of him and following along as Blue began dragging him around from ride to booth to game. The excitement was contagious, and Red seemed almost as happy as Blue found himself.  _

_ Finally, they found themselves walking somewhat quietly between the booths, the sounds of a concert and the shouts of the carnies echoing past them. _

_ “Thank you so much, Red. This was the most fun I’ve had in ages!” Blue said happily, pulling more cotton candy off the stick he was holding and putting it in his mouth to melt. _

_ Red smiled at him, and said, “Of course. I’m not about to let some piece of shit robot get you down in the dumps.” _

_ “Language, Red” _

_ They both laughed slightly, Blue eating more of his cotton candy.  _

_ “You know,” said Red, looking up at the lights of the huge ferris wheel that towered above them. “This would make for a fun date sometime.” _

_ Blue grinned at him, elbowing him slightly. “Thinkin’ about bringing Grillby here?” _

_ Red made a face at him. “I’ve told you before, Blue, there’s nothin’ going on there. He’s just not my type.” _

_ “What, not hot enough for you?” They both snickered at the pun before Blue continued. “But yeah, I can see what you mean.”  _

_ He spun around, his arms thrown wide, almost losing his grip on the almost-empty stick he still held. “This place is amazing! I’d love to have my first kiss here! Or be proposed to or something!” _

_ Red blushed, but Blue didn’t notice, still spinning. “Proposed to? Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?” he choked out, and Blue paused, arms still thrown out and head cocked to one side.  _

_ “Okay,” he conceeded. Then he laughed, lowering his arms and coming back over to stand beside Red.  “But it’s definitely a requirement that they use one of those things instead of an actual ring!” he said pointing at a booth that held ring-pops and smiling widely.  _

_ Red grinned at him, blush still very much present, then bought two, holding them out to Blue for him to choose which flavor he wanted. Blue thought very carefully before taking the cherry-flavored one, eating the last of his cotton candy before ripping the little package open and slipping it on, snickering slightly at the sight it made against his bones.  _

_ He looked up to see that Red had also slipped the blue-raspberry flavored one on and was still blushing, looking at it very intently.  _

_ Blue reached out and grabbed his hand again, slipping back into his chatter and dragging Red in the direction of the ferris wheel, sucking idly at the ring pop whenever he stopped for breath.  _

  
When Red woke up, he didn't immediately realize where he was. Instead of facing his cracked ceiling, his face was pressed into something hard and metal, and his bones ached from sleeping in an odd position. He straightened his legs slowly and moved his arms out, pausing when they encountered a cold tile floor.    
Oh. Right. Fuck.    
He wiggled out of his sleeping brother's hold carefully, doing his best to avoid waking him.

Very quietly, he made his way out of the room and up the stairs, intending to check on Blue. He stopped by the bathroom on his way and grabbed the first aid kit just in case. 

When he reached his door, he eased it open slightly, peeking in. Then he caught sight of the empty bed and swung it open all the way, panicking slightly. Where was Blue? Had he run off? Had someone--

He was pulled out of his thoughts very suddenly by a bone construct flying towards his face. Cursing, he dodged to the side to avoid it, then looked around the room for its source. 

He found it all too quickly in the form of a small skeleton who was slightly out of sight of the door, shaking from exhaustion and probably pain and looking on the verge of collapsing. 

“Hey! Whoa! Hang on, there, no need to attack me! I just brought some medical supplies!” he said, trying to act like he found this whole thing amusing. The cover didn’t seem to work well, and he felt himself fall slightly farther into his panic. As far as he knew, Blue didn’t attack  _ anyone _ first, not even that damn human. What the hell was going on?

Suddenly Blue was stumbling, falling to the ground with his arms clutched around his injured ribs. “D-don’t hurt me!” he begged, bowing his head. 

Red felt his soul drop as he quickly made his way to the other, depositing the first aid kit on the bed before kneeling in front of him. “Hey, it’s alright, I’m not gonna--”

Before he could react, Blue’s hand flashed out, his face now completely devoid of any fear, reaching under his ribcage and tapping his soul, performing a check and attempting to draw him into a battle. Red’s soul, as pumped up with his EXP as it was, resisted the effort easily, but Blue’s eyes grew wide as Red’s stats were blinked out in front of him.

“You have LV…”

It was a statement, not a question, but Red answered it anyway. “Yes, I do,” he said, trying to keep his voice from betraying any emotion. “It’s all from years ago, I haven’t--”

“Don’t touch me!” Blue screamed, jumping back and away from him. “Don’t come anywhere near me, you...you  _ murderer _ !”

Red felt like the entire world had fallen out from underneath him. “Blue…” his voice was so small, so weak. He could feel a burning behind his sockets, and he didn’t do anything to stop the tears that started to stream down his face. 

“No! Don’t call me that! I don’t want a nickname from someone who’s killed people!” Blue was backed into the wall, but he wasn’t cowering. Instead, he looked angrier than Red had ever seen him in the years that they had known each other.

Red took a step forward, immediately regretting it when Blue’s eyes lit up with his magic, smoke drifting from both sides. He held up his hands in a placating gesture, trying to calm the smaller skeleton. “I would never do anything to hurt you.” he whispered, tears still running down his face.

Blue’s chest was heaving, and he continued staring at Red with anger and magic and a threat in his eyes. “Why, exactly, should I trust you?”

There was a long moment of suffocating silence. Then…

“Because you’ve always trusted me to be better than I ever even dreamed I could be,” Red said, simply. 

Blue’s eyelights went out for a split second, and when they came back, his magic had stopped flaring. He still looked angry, but confusion seemed to be taking some of the fire away. “Do we...do we know each other?” he asked, scrunching his face in a way that Red had long since grown to know very well. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” he said, still being as quiet and nonthreatening as possible. “Can I please check your breakage? It’s starting to bleed through the bandaging.”

Blue glanced down, as though he had only just noticed he was injured, then he looked back up at Red, seeming torn. Finally, he nodded and took a few steps towards Red, who beckoned him to lay back on the bed. As he started to peel the bandages away, pulling new ones out of the first aid kit to redress the wound, he could feel the other’s eyes on him, watching his every move. The quiet in the room was becoming almost suffocating, and Red worked as fast as he could without injuring Blue further, wanting more than anything to just get out of that room. Blue couldn’t have changed this much, could he? He couldn’t have just...lost the hope, the trust and kindness, all of the amazing things that made him who he was. That person couldn’t just be  _ gone _ , could he?

Red wrapped the last of Blue’s ribs, and made to stand up before a small hand seized his wrist. Red flinched slightly, not having expected the sudden contact. He looked down at Blue, not able to quite meet his eyes. He chose, instead, to focus on the pillow right next to his head. It was graying slightly, an old, limp sort of thing that Red had found in the dump years ago. Blue always said it smelled like him, but he always thought it just smelled like Blue. He used to joke that maybe they were both right, since they were the same person, but Blue argued that he would never go around smelling like tobacco--

“How do we know each other?”

Red didn’t know how to respond to that. He was a murderer. Despite his reasons, despite the fact that he hadn't done it since he had met Blue, he was still a murderer. This Blue wouldn’t want to know what they were to each other. He searched for words for a few seconds, still unable to meet the soft blue eyes that were almost always shaped into stars or hearts or something of the like but now were nothing more than cold blue circles. “We’re...we’re real good friends, is all. Known each other for quite a few years.” Then he gently pulled his wrist away and took the first aid kit and the bloodied bandages out of the room, leaving Blue to himself.

 

_ Blue was roused very suddenly from sleep by someone pounding on his front door. He grimaced and sat up. The one time he let himself fall asleep on the couch… _

_ The pounding came again, more insistent this time, and Blue stood slowly, stretching his vertebrae before making his way to the front door. He turned the handle and it swung open, revealing Fell standing on the doorstep. He looked worried, despite his usually emotionless facade. The moment their eyes met, Blue taking in his desperation quickly, he grabbed his scarf and gloves, pulling them on and slipping into his boots. He took a few seconds to turn back into the house and shout, “Papy! I’m going to Fellverse!”. He didn't wait for a response before gesturing for Fell to lead on. They hurried to the machine, punching in the right numbers.  _

_ The moment it landed, Fell had seized Blue by the elbow and was practically dragging him up the stairs. He wasn't saying a word, but Blue could see the fear in every movement he made.  _

_ They went into the house, and Blue pulled his arm back and immediately jogged up the stairs, leaving Fell to pace alone in the living room.  _

_ “Red?” he asked softly, easing his bedroom door open. He could just make out his shivering form, curled up on the bare mattress that served as his bed. When there was no response, Blue let himself in anyway, crossing to sit beside him.  _

_ Red’s sockets were completely empty, and his shaking was making his bones rattle. Blue, very gently, laid a hand on the other’s arm. “Red, it's okay. You're safe. Blue is right here.” _

_ He continued his stream of assurances, rubbing at Red’s humerus comfortingly. Slowly, the shaking started to abate, and Red’s eyelights flickered back into existence. He looked around, seeming confused until he made eye contact with Blue, who smiled at him tearily. “Hey, Red. Welcome back!” he said, as brightly as he could manage. Red frowned and tried to sit up, but Blue placed a hand in the middle of his sternum and pushed down firmly. “Don't even think about it, tough guy,” he said, trying for a laugh and failing miserably.  _

_ Red just looked at him for a moment, seeming confused, before he allowed himself to be pushed back down. One of his hands drifted up and clutched onto Blue’s wrist, not pushing or pulling, just holding on tightly, as if to ground himself. “D-did I blank out again?” he asked scratchily.  _

_ Blue nodded, then wiped at his tears with his free hand. “Took you a long time to come out of this one, too,” he commented, sniffling slightly.  _

_ Red took one look at that and let go of his hold on Blue’s wrist, reaching out to drag him down so that he could wrap him up in a hug. Blue squeezed back, closing his eyes tightly and fully appreciating the fact that Red was right here, he was right beside him. He’d come back unharmed this time.  _

 

When Red reached the kitchen, he saw that his brother was still asleep. Chuckling far more lightly than he really felt, he nudged him with a foot. “Get up, lazyass,”

Fell nearly fell over, catching himself just in time from face planting into the floor. “Lazyass? Speak for yourself,” he groaned, standing and stretching. 

“Hey, I just thought I’d take the opportunity to return the usual insults you give me. It feels pretty great, actually!”

Fell snorted loudly, then turned to see the way Red was clutching onto the counter again. He sighed quietly, then gripped his brother by the shoulder, turning him to face him. “Did something happen?” he asked quietly.

Red didn’t say anything for a moment.

“He attacked me.”

Fell’s mouth dropped open. “He  _ what? _ ”

“And he saw my LV, and he told me to back off, he couldn’t trust a  _ murderer _ .” There were tears falling down his face again, and Fell looked about ready to join him. 

“I suppose I should keep my distance, then, shouldn’t I?” he mumbled, mostly to himself. 

Suddenly there was a quiet cough from the doorway, and both brothers spun to face the noise, Fell’s magic flaring automatically in defense.

Blue stood in the doorway, holding himself up by clutching onto the wall. His legs were trembling slightly, as though the effort of standing was about to be too much. He was still shirtless, but he had tied the orange sweatshirt  around his waist. 

At the attention from Red and Fell, he seemed to shrink back slightly before attempting to stand up straight and show his confidence in how he was about to handle himself. Red could practically feel his own soul shattering at the fear in his eyes. 

“I-I got hungry,” he said, trying to sound confident and failing somewhat. “I thought I could make it down here on my own but...my legs aren’t really…” He was breathing hard, and Red could see the pain racking its way through his entire body. 

He walked forward quickly, ignoring the sounds of protests as he picked the blueberry up and carried him to the table, depositing him in a chair before moving to grab some more lasagna to heat up. 

There was an awkward silence hanging over them all, broken only by the sound of the microwave humming. 

“Have you slept at all?” asked Fell finally.

Blue looked up at him fearfully and nodded. “Yes. I slept after R-Red?” he looked at Red questioningly, receiving a nod, “Red found me, then I tried before I came down here but I couldn’t anymore.”

Fell turned to Red and quietly asked, “What was his HP the last you saw? He’s shaking like a leaf.”

He heard Blue huff in a very familiar way, grumbling under his breath about how he could hear them perfectly well, thank you very much. 

Red grinned slightly, then tried to check Blue, only to find there was a block. He looked down at his chest, concerned, before looking at Blue, then back to his brother. “I can’t check him,” he murmured, trying not to sound panicked. 

Fell’s eyes narrowed, then he turned to Blue. “Blue, may I perform a check on you? I need to see after your health. We wouldn’t want to lose you.”

“W-why not?” Blue asked quietly, looking terrified by his own daring. 

Fell didn’t answer for a few seconds, seeming to be trying to find the right words, and Red broke in quickly. “He was your friend, too. He’s my brother.”

Blue flicked his gaze to Red, then to the floor, wringing his hands slightly. “Oh.” he said. Then he looked back up at Fell. “You can check me.”

Fell stepped forward and got to his knees, reaching under Blue’s ribs to carefully touch a finger to his soul. He frowned, suddenly, and stepped back quickly. “Blue, can you please pull out your soul so that we can see it? There’s something wrong.”

Red looked in askance at his brother, but Fell wouldn’t meet his eyes. Blue seemed confused, but he obeyed, pulling his soul out carefully and holding it in his hands. 

All three of them stared down at the blue, shining, culmination of his being. 

The bottom half, where the curves would normally be, was completely missing. 

 

_ They landed in the middle of Snowdin forest and Red immediately let got of Blue's hand before spinning to face him. _ __  
_ "Blue, I was serious. I really want to marry you" _ __  
_ Blue snorted. "Yeah, okay, sure. Just like everyone else. It's just a really funny joke to pretend to propose to people. Totally hilarious, I get it. I'm just getting a bit tired of it, alright? So could you do me a favor and tell all of them that?" Blue spun around and started to stalk off before Red shortcutted directly in front of him, cutting off his path. _ __  
_ Blue started to go a different direction before Red growled in frustration and grabbed Blue by the cheekbones, pulling his face in and kissing him hard. _ __  
_ When he let him go, Blue was surprised by the look of determination on his face. "I love you, Blue, and I want to marry you, okay?" _ __  
_ Blue pulled himself out of Red's grip harshly and surprised himself by starting to cry. _ __  
_ "T-this, this is j-just too far! I k-know you all think it's r-really funny to m-mess with the guy that'll p-probably never get m-married, but this really needs to s-stop! P-please!" Blue sobbed, and then he buried his head in his hands as his whole body shook with the force of them. "I'm j-just so t-tired of this. I k-know that I'm n-not exactly... y-you k-know...but that d-doesnt meant that I w-want to be r-reminded--" _ __  
_ Blue was cut off by another wrenching sob, and he felt Red come closer, gripping onto him by his shoulders. _ __  
_ "Blue, I don't know how to make you believe me, but I am not joking. You're my best friend. I love you, and when those guys started screwin' with you it just...made me realize exactly what I wanted, ya know?" He felt Red pull him into his arms, holding him tightly for a moment before releasing him. _ __  
_ Blue sniffed, his crying having faded out for the most part, and he looked up at Red. He was surprised to see tears on Red's face as well. _ __  
_ "Let's try this thing again" said Red quietly. _ __  
_ He took the ring-pop off of Blue's finger and knelt back down. _ _  
_ __ "Blue, I promise ya with all my soul that this is not a trick or a joke or anything but the absolute truth. You are my best friend, and I have grown to love you more than anyone or anything these past few years. I want to spend the rest of my life learnin' to love you even more, and nothin' would make me happier. So, Blue, my love..." he grinned and rolled his eyes at how cheesy that sounded and held up the ring pop again "Will ya please marry me?"

 

“We need to go talk to your brother. Now,” Red said as Blue stared down at his soul in horror. At Red’s words, however, he looked up in confusion.

“Why do we need to talk to Stretch?” Fell asked, tearing his eyes away from the mutilated heart. 

Red stepped forward until he was right in front of Blue, then he dropped to his knees and took hold of his hands, gently curling the small skeleton’s fingers around the soul and prompting him to put it back. “Because we need to ask him how the hell this happened, and why Blue was anywhere near him.”

“My brother is...gone. Dead,” came a quiet voice from directly in front of him, and Red was quick to shake his head. 

“I don’t think you’d understand this, but he won’t be forever. If we go back to your timeline, he’ll come back eventually.”

Blue stared at him in confusion bordering on anger. “I don’t think you understand. My brother is  _ dead _ .”

Red nodded at him, continuing on as he scooped him back up, ignoring the squeak of protest. He grabbed the lasagna as he passed and handed it to Blue along with a fork. “Eat. And yeah, I know. You’ll understand when we get back, hopefully.”

Fell followed them as Red walked out the front door and crossed to the basement. “Red, wait, maybe we should--”

“No!” Red said loudly, spinning to face his brother with Blue still held tightly in his arms. “Boss, I need answers! I need to know why he’s like this!”

Fell stared him down for a moment, narrowing his eyes, then he sighed deeply and gestured for him to continue on. Blue was staring up at him, holding tightly onto the food. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was too scared to do so.

Red turned immediately and kicked the door open, stomping down the stairs and making his way quickly to the machine. Setting Blue gently on the one rickety chair that occupied the room and motioning for him to start eating, he turned to the controls. 

He immediately typed in the coordinates for Swapverse, having long since memorized them. The machine whirred for a moment, deciphering the numbers he had entered, then…

_ Not Found _ .

Red stared at the machine. He punched in the coordinates again, only to be confronted by the same message.

_ Not Found _ .

He hit the side of the machine, not noticing how he made Blue jump and Fell cringe. 

_ Not Found. _

He went into the records of travel, taking it back to the date he knew he had last gone to Swapverse, the day after Blue had disappeared. He gave a sigh of relief when he saw that the records were still there, bearing the same coordinates he had just entered. Frowning, he bypassed the manual entry and entered the coordinates using the history he had just found.

_ Not Found. _

_ Not Found. _

_ Not Found. _

 

_ “And you said yes?” Fell asked, looking between the two of them incredulously.  _

_ Blue glanced over at Red, who was blushing brightly, then turned back to the others. “Of course I did. We love each other!” _

_ Stretch looked between the two of them for a moment before saying, “Okay, I’m not going to argue that Red loves you. We all know it, it’s been obvious for years--” _

_ Blue’s mouth dropped open at that. “It has?” he squeaked, feeling incredibly guilty. _

_ Fell nodded at him, a small smile on his face, as Stretch continued without responding. “--but I’ve never picked up on any of that from you, Blue. You don’t have to marry him just because you don’t think anyone else will ever ask and mean it, or because you’re afraid he’ll do something drastic if you tell him the truth.” _

_ Blue drew back from his brother slightly, a frown creasing his forehead. He caught Red, out of the corner of his eye, looking down at his hands like he secretly agreed with Stretch and just didn’t want to admit it. Blue huffed and reached for Red’s hand, squeezing it tightly before turning back to their brothers. “We’ve already talked about this, before we came to tell you guys. Red didn’t want to take advantage of me and I didn’t want to rush into anything.” _

_ Red cut in then, mumbling slightly, “He didn’t say yes right away.” _

_ Blue nodded in affirmation of that statement, and Fell looked like that was good enough for him, sporting a smile brighter than Blue had ever seen on his face, but Stretch frowned tightly. “I don’t believe you, bro. You’re just too nice for your own good, there’s no way you actually love him!” _

_ Blue’s mouth dropped open. He couldn’t believe his brother would say something so incredibly mean, and right in front of Red, too! “Papy! How could you even--” _

_ “Stop it, Sans!” Stretch said angrily, standing to loom over them and taking hold of Blue’s humerus. “I’m the older one, I’m not going to allow this! I don’t support you trading your life away just to help him. You’re more important than that, bro, and you--” _

_ Blue jumped to his feet, letting go of Red’s hand to push his brother away from them. “Who the hell do you think you are?” he spat angrily. He heard Red’s sharp intake of breath in response to his swearing, but he quickly brought his focus back to his brother. _

_ Stretch seemed surprised, but anger quickly won out, his eyes narrowing. “Your brother. And I have a responsibility to make sure you’re happy!” _

_ “I AM HAPPY!” Blue yelled back. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before jabbing a finger in his brother’s face. “You have absolutely no right to tell me what to do, or what makes me happy! I love Red! I really do, more than anyone or anything! I just didn’t know that’s what it was until he got down on his knee and my whole body just...just lit up, like the sun was right there and I was as happy and warm as I would ever be! So you sit down, shut up, and stop making assumptions about whether or not I’m happy!” _

_ There was a long silence following Blue’s outburst. Red was looking at the ground again, but he was fighting a smile. Fell and Stretch were both staring at Blue, completely shell-shocked by the strength of his resolve. Then Stretch’s face hardened, and he said, “How do you even know what love feels like? You’re practically a child!” _

_ Blue closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm himself and tightening his hands into fists by his side. He didn’t want to say anything he’d regret, and he wanted this to have a happy ending, but Stretch was making it very, very hard.  _

_ When he finally thought he had ahold of himself, he opened his eyes and made eye contact with his brother. “I am not a child. I am 21 years old, and I am plenty old enough to make this decision, with or without your approval. And my decision is to be with Red. If you don’t like that, you are welcome to leave.” _

_ Stretch didn’t seem to know how to respond, and he sputtered slightly as Blue felt Red grab onto his hand and pull him back. He glanced at him and found that both of the UnderFell brothers were now standing, apparently ready to support him against whatever Stretch said.  _

_ “It’s in my name.” _

_ Blue looked back at his brother, confused. “What are you--” _

_ “The house. It’s in my name.” Stretch looked triumphant. “I don’t have to go anywhere. And you don’t have anywhere to go.” _

_ Blue just stared at him for a few moments. “Papy…” _

_ “Shut up, Blue,” Stretch snapped, reaching for his arm again. “I know you’re making a huge mistake, and I’m not going to let it happen just because you’re too naive to know that’s what it is.” _

_ Blue took a step back, bumping slightly into Red, who held tighter onto his hand, confirming his support. He could feel the tears welling up, disbelief for what his brother was saying making him almost unable to respond, but finally… _

_ “Oh,  _ fuck _ you, Papyrus. You’re not the only person I have! I’ll stay with Alphys if that’s what it’s going to take!” _

_ Then he pulled Red towards the door, ignoring the shocked way everyone was staring at him. Red stumbled slightly, as though he hadn’t been expecting Blue to actually go, and Fell followed them after a tense moment of hesitation. Stretch didn’t say anything, folding his arms tightly in a show of defiance.  _

_ Blue pulled the door open and stomped through, going down the steps as tears began flowing freely down his face. He heard the door close behind them, and he let go of Red’s hand in favor of covering his eyes tightly and beginning to sob. How could he have done that? How could he have just left? And why would Stretch say those things? _

_ He felt a pair of arms loop around him, holding him tightly, and he buried his head in the furry lining of Red’s jacket as he continued to cry. He felt Fell lay a hand on his shoulder, and he broke into a new wave of tears.  _

_ “Hey, shhh, it’s alright, it’s gonna be okay, he’ll come around, you’ll be alright, Blue, I promise.” Red was talking, keeping up a constant stream of reassurances, and Blue found himself calming down despite the whirling emotions that still swirled through his skull.  _

_ When he’d stopped crying, he pulled back, using one hand to wipe away the stray tears. “I-I have to g-go talk to Alphys, s-see if I r-really can stay with h-her,” he mumbled, unable to believe that he had actually just been kicked out.  _

_ “Fuck that, you’re staying with us until that asshole gets his shit together,” Fell said, ever the peacemaker.  _

_ Blue turned to look at him, noting the anger in his eyes. “A-are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother--” _

_ Fell snorted loudly. “You’re going to be married to my brother at some point. I’m fairly certain we can spare the room for you. Hell, you might as well share with Red, since you’re going to end up that way anyway.” _

_ Red flushed brightly, but he smiled at Blue and said, “Of course you can stay with us. You don’t have to stay with me, but--”  _

_ He was cut off very suddenly by Blue going on tiptoe to plant a very teary kiss on his mouth. He blushed an even brighter red, glancing up at his brother to see his reaction. Upon finding none, he kissed Blue again, brushing a few stray tears away, before saying, “Don’t worry, Blue. He’ll come around.” _

_ Blue nodded, seeming exhausted, then they all followed after Fell as he headed down the steps of the basement. _

 

They were back in the kitchen, and Red was pacing back and forth as the other two watched. Blue looked terrified, watching as he expressed his anger with every motion. 

“What the hell is going on?” Red said to the empty air. This was not the first time he had voiced the question, and the others stayed silent. 

“How can it be gone?” At this, there was a small sniffle, just enough to make Red stop and look at Blue. There were a few tears making straight trails down his face. He made no effort to wipe them away, instead staring blankly at Red. He immediately took a step forward, starting to extend his arms before he caught himself and stopped dead. He lowered his arms slowly, watching as Blue cried. He wanted, more than anything, to wrap him up and never let him go.

But this wasn’t his Blue. 

“Blue,” he said gently. “I need you to tell us what happened the last few days.”

Blue sniffed again, eyes seeming to focus. “Or what? You’ll kill me?”

Red sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes and turning to his brother for support. Fell seemed at a loss for words, but eventually he said, “Blue, we would never think of harming you.”

“Why?!” Blue cried, spinning to face him. “What am I to you two?”

When he received no response, he turned to Red. “Well? Why do you keep looking at me like I’m breaking your soul? And why are you so gentle with me?”

Red didn’t know how to respond. “Why...why wouldn’t I be?” was all he could say.

Blue huffed in exasperation. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you’ve killed people?!”

“I thought anyone could be better!” Red shouted back at him, taking a step forward. “I thought you always said you could change anyone, bring out the best in them!”

Blue stood as tall as he could, getting into Red’s face. “I don’t know how you know about that, but I was wrong!”

Red threw his hands into the air and snarled at him. “No, you weren’t! Not about me! Not about Boss! Not about Razz and Slim and Lewd and even his asshole brother!”

Confusion was warring with the anger on Blue’s face as he listened. “I don’t know who any of those people are.”

“Of course you don’t!” Red groaned, reaching up to rub at his face in frustration, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to come again. “And you’ve always been too stubborn to--”

“What’s that?”

Red stopped mid-sentence, looking to see what Blue was talking about. The little skeleton appeared to steel himself, then reached out and grabbed Red’s hand, bringing it to eye level before reaching to poke at something around one of his fingers.

Red snatched his hand away, holding it close to his chest. “Don’t touch that!” he growled. 

Blue’s eyes were wide at he stared at the place where Red’s hand had just been. “Was-was that a bonding ring? Are you  _ married? _ ” 

Red stopped trying to fight the burning behind his sockets as Blue’s words hit him. “I--”

Blue stepped back, horror filling his eyes. “No...it-it wasn’t...are we...is it me?”

No one said anything  at all for a long time, but the look on Red’s face must have been answer enough. Blue took a step back, his mouth dropping open. Red managed to get ahold of himself a little more, and nodded, holding out the ring again for the other to inspect, the blue magic that danced inside it glaringly obvious now that Blue knew what to look for. 

“Yes,” Red answered finally. “We were bonded.”

 

_ Blue rolled over, groaning slightly. Someone's arms came around him and he relaxed into them, planting a kiss on the bottom of their jaw before burying his head in their chest.  _

_ He heard a loud yawn from somewhere over his head, followed by Red’s grumbly voice asking, “What time is it?” _

_ Blue sighed loudly and didn't answer, choosing instead to seize the blankets and pull them over his face, effectively blocking out any sense of responsibility. Red truly brought out the Sans in him, he thought dryly as he snuggled into the other as closely as he could.  _

_ He heard Red snicker, then the blankets were taken out of his hands. Red lifted them up so that Blue was exposed to the light, but his only response was to crack one eye open and curl his fingers into the spaces between Red’s ribs, effectively latching on.  _

_ “I think it might be time to get up, sweetheart.” Red chuckled, trailing his thumb down the back of Blue’s cervical vertebrae.  _

_ “You're not supposed to be the one who has to remind me,” Blue grumbled, opening his other eye so he could properly glare up at him.  _

_ Red grinned and said, “Hey, it's not my fault you're finally turning into a lazybones. It was bound to happen sometime, ba--” _

_ Blue gave a tired screech of indignation and let go of Red’s ribs to prop himself up on his arms. “I am not a lazybones!” he protested, but the effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that he immediately wanted to bury himself back into the blankets again.  _

_ Below him, Red was still giving him that infuriating grin, and Blue found himself losing his glare. Instead, he settled back into the other's hold, lowering himself carefully and letting out an exasperated breath. “Well, okay. But it's all your fault!” _

_ Red laughed again, the sound full and unbridled. “I’ll gladly take full responsibility if it means you stay right here with me,” he said, smiling widely. Blue couldn't help his smile at that, turning to press his mouth to Red’s chin again. _

_ Red sat up slightly and reached for Blue, who was all too happy to oblige. He wrapped his arms around the tops of his fiancée's shoulders as the other planted a kiss directly on his teeth. Blue sighed happily as he pulled back, entirely content.  _

_ “I love you, Red.” _

 

“I...I loved you?”

Blue’s words hurt like nothing Red had ever felt before. Loved. Past tense, as in, this is over. Not ‘I love you’, as he must have heard a thousand times. I  _ loved _ you.

All he could get himself to do was nod, vaguely aware of Fell leaving the room silently, leaving them alone. 

“But...why?”

Red hadn’t thought his soul could break any more, but Blue just kept proving him wrong. “I don’t know. I always thought you could do better,” he managed to choke out, avoiding Blue’s eyes. 

He felt more than saw the other step closer, hesitantly laying a hand on his arm. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Blue said softly. “I was asking why...why I don’t remember. If we were bonded, shouldn’t we be connected? I know what you know and all that?”

Red still didn’t want to look at him. He didn’t want to see this Blue and remember that his Blue was gone, maybe forever. “It was cut away. We already saw that.”

There was a sharp intake of breath, and he looked up to see the Blue’s eyelights had blown themselves wide. “That’s a huge section of soul for a soul bond…” he said quietly.

Red laughed shortly. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s what Boss said, too. Said we were idiots for giving so m-much up. But..but you s-said it didn’t m-matter because you would h-have given all of y-yourself if y-you could.” He was sobbing now, heaving breaths ripping their way out of his mouth as he tried to keep his composure. Blue’s hand against his arm wasn’t helping, making him want to bury himself into the other and never come back up again. 

“Can I see?”

He glanced up, barely able to hold his eyes as he made himself calm down. “See what?”

Blue took another deep breath, then said, “The soul bond. Yours, I mean.”

Red stared down at his hands. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to pull out his soul for someone that used to be Blue, to let him taint what little he had left of the monster he loved most in the world. Then he made the mistake of looking at his face again. It really was still Blue, wasn’t it? It was just...Blue from before they knew each other. The Blue that had nearly broken down his door because he thought he needed a friend. A ghost of a smile flashed across his face as he remembered. 

He took his jacket off and started to drop it on the floor before having second thoughts and handing it to Blue. “Here,” he said quietly. “Put this on, you’ve gotta be freezing. I don’t think this’ll hurt your ribs any.” Blue accepted the jacket silently, sticking his arms through and wrapping it around himself. Red lifted his shirt slightly to reach underneath, ignoring Blue’s shocked gasp at the scars that had been exposed on his spine. He drew out his soul, settling it into his palms, and held it out towards the other. 

Blue looked down at it reverently, taking in the red point and blue curves, finally seeming to relax. Then, much like Red had done to him earlier, he pushed Red’s fingers back around the soul and guided his hands back into his chest. 

“Okay.” he said quietly. “I believe you. How do we fix this?”

 

_ Blue sat heavily at a table next to Fell, looking around the large room filled with so many of his friends. Red was across the room, joking loudly with Comic, much to Rus’s chagrin. He was wearing a red tie with a black dress shirt that had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his heavily scarred forearms. His laughter was loud enough for Blue to hear snatches of it, and it made him smile. He loosened his own tie slightly, feeling a bit overheated from all the dancing he’d been doing.  _

_ “Having fun?” Fell asked, grinning at him. Blue had long since gotten used to the friendliness the other showed him, but it still sometimes drew stares from people to see the gruff, angry captain being so happy.  _

_ He nodded animatedly. “This is really great! I still can’t believe you got Napstabot to DJ!” _

_ Fell waved a hand dismissively. “It’s of no concern. I introduced him to his alternate from SwapFell and he apparently thanks me for the new ‘edge’ he’s been able to find with his music. He said he owed me a favor.” _

_ Blue smiled at that, knowing full well how much Fell had had to pay to get his idol to come. He did keep the books for the brothers, after all.  _

_ “Red certainly seems to be enjoying himself,” Fell continued, gesturing at his brother, who was currently shooting finger guns at Comic. The shorter skeleton was doubled over in laughter, drawing stares from many of the people around them, but they all smiled when they saw who it was.  _

_ “Yeah, I can’t go within ten feet of him when he gets like this, though,” Blue groaned good-naturedly. “Getting those two in any close proximity of each other is always a mistake.” _

_ Fell laughed aloud, nodding in agreement just as Slim passed by, carrying a pair of drinks in his hand, one of which was undoubtedly for his brother.  _

_ Blue watched him go, struck by his similarity to a certain skeleton that was not present.  _

_ “He’s an idiot.” _

_ Blue looked up at Fell, surprised. “Slim? He’s a mechanical engineer, I don’t think he’s--” _

_ “No, no. I’m talking about Stretch,” Fell interrupted, waving a hand to silence him.  _

_ Blue’s gaze dropped to his hands. “No…” he said softly. “He’s just stubborn.” _

_ Fell snorted loudly, then clapped a hand on Blue’s shoulder, who looked up in surprise. “Stubborn is not the right word,” he said angrily. “Stubborn is refusing to clear out the dishwasher or get a new job, not skipping out on his own brother’s wedding.” _

_ Blue sighed silently. He knew Fell was right, but he couldn’t help but blame himself. He was the one who had left, after all. And they had sent him an invitation, but Blue hadn’t spoken to his brother since their fight. It was always possible that Stretch thought he wouldn’t be welcome, and that the invitation was nothing more than courtesy.  _

_ Instead of voicing his thoughts, he turned his gaze back to Red, watching him grab an entire tray of drinks and begin to make his way towards them. “I wish he was here,” Blue said quietly, but by the way Fell’s hand tightened slightly on his shoulder, Blue knew he had heard him.  _

_ Then Red was there, and Blue was all smiles again, taking one of the drinks that were being handed to him and waving off a second.  _

 

Before Red could answer, Blue’s legs collapsed out from under him and he went down with a surprised yelp. Red cursed and quickly put his soul back in his chest before leaning down to try and help him stand back up. Blue’s body wasn’t having it, and Red could see a few blotches of marrow starting to soak through the bandages again. After a few moments of deliberation, he scooped the little skeleton up and started to carry him back to the stairs. 

“Wait, we--” Blue tried to say, but then he started coughing, hard, and Red walked faster, passing his brother on the way. Fell looked at them questioningly, but Red ignored him and kept going. When the coughing abated, Blue tried again. “We need to fix it. We need to make me remember!”

Red shook his head, jogging up the stairs as fast as he could without jostling Blue too much. “Not when you’re like this. You’re hurt, you need to rest. Missing that much of your soul means you’ve got less magic running through your body, and you’re not going to be healing very well for a while.”

“Well then shouldn’t we be trying to fix my soul?” Blue asked, coughing again as Red opened his bedroom door and carried Blue to the bed. 

“I have no idea how to do that. I’ll go talk to my brother, but until we have any sort of solution, you need to rest.” Red set him down and pulled the blankets over him, tucking them around him snugly before backing away. Blue’s eyelights were already dimming, despite his protests, and Red quietly bid him good night before leaving, shutting the door firmly behind him. 

_ How do we fix this? _

Where did they even begin? Why was the part of Blue’s soul that had been Red’s gone? Why was his universe gone? Why didn’t he remember anything about them? He remembered once, when Blue’s world had reset and he’d forgotten about them, but that had been before they’d really been friends, and he hadn’t really cared all that much. Since then, he hadn’t had to worry about it a whole lot because their bond had let him--

Red’s steps stuttered as he connected the pieces.  _ Of fucking course... _ How could he not have thought of that? The bond was gone, he had no way of remembering the resets.

But Fellverse hadn’t had a reset since Blue disappeared. They were rarest in his world, where even the most insane of humans didn’t have much of a desire to relive meeting the assholes that populated this place. Which meant…

Red cursed and finished walking down the steps, making his way back outside and down into the basement, running down the stairs to the machine. He pushed several buttons, pulling up the travel history and searching for the date Blue disappeared. 

Oh, that mother _ fucker. _

 

_ Blue stood nervously on the doorstep, stepping from one foot to the other and steeling his nerves. Finally, he knocked. _

_ “Just a minute!” called a familiar voice, and Blue had to stop himself from running away. There was a crash that made Blue wince, wondering what had been broken and hoping it was nothing important. Then the door was flung open, accompanied by a fair amount of cursing, and Stretch was standing in front of him. _

_ The moment he saw who had knocked, he fell completely silent, just staring down at his brother emotionlessly. He had dark circles under his eyes and he was only wearing his shorts and a tank top. His sweatshirt was probably in the wash, which seemed strange. Blue didn’t know Stretch even knew how to do laundry. _

_ “Hi Papy.” Blue said, wringing his hands. He half-expected Stretch to just slam the door in his face and walk away, but instead, he stepped off to one side, wordlessly telling Blue to come in. Blue did so, wiping his shoes off on the mat and walking into his old house. He looked around for a few seconds, noticing some minor changes here and there. The pet rock didn’t have any sprinkles on it, and there was a new couch. He supposed the old one must have finally given up the ghost and he had been forced to replace it. He found himself hoping it was still comfortable enough for his brother to sleep on when he got too drunk to make it upstairs. _

_ “What are you doing here?” Stretch’s voice seemed raspier somehow, as if he’d been smoking more since Blue left.  _

_ Blue turned to look at him, taking in the relaxed posture of his brother. Anyone who didn’t know him well would think he didn’t care what was going on, but Blue could see the nervousness in the way he kept sliding his hands along where his stomach would be, as though he was trying to stuff his hands into his pockets.  _

_ “It’s been almost a year.” Blue murmured cautiously. He wanted this to go well. He wanted to mend ties, he wanted his brother back more than anything.  _

_ “Yeah. What about it?” Stretch asked, eyelights flicking down to the ring on Blue’s finger before coming back up to not quite meet his eyes. “So you’re married, then, huh?” _

_ Blue nodded, trying not to cry at the intense awkwardness between them. “Yeah. Wish you’d been able to come.” _

_ “Sorry, I had a thing.” _

_ There was a long silence, punctuated only by the ticking of the clock in the kitchen.  _

_ “What have you been up to?” Blue asked, desperate to break some of the tension. _

_ “Working a lot. Not much else to do.” _

_ There was another long silence. _

_ “The house looks nice.” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Oh, for goodness sakes, Papyrus!” Blue said, tears finally coming into his eyes. “I don’t want it to be like this!” _

_ Stretch scoffed slightly, walking to the couch and sitting heavily, refusing to look at Blue. “Then I guess you shouldn’t have left, huh?” he said bitterly.  _

_ Blue huffed, stepping a bit closer. “You did kick me out.” he said cautiously.  _

_ Stretch’s head snapped up, and he glared at his little brother, who couldn’t help taking a step back. “I didn’t kick you out,” he snarled. “You chose to leave, with  _ him _. I’ll bet he’s here, isn’t he? Waiting down in the basement for you to come back to him? To leave me again?” _

_ “No!” Blue protested, holding his hands out in a calming gesture. “They don’t even know that I came. I...I didn’t want to jinx it.” _

_ Stretch looked at him curiously. “You want to mend ties?” _

_ Blue nodded, tears starting up again. _

_ “Fine. I’ll mend ties. If you come back here. If you leave him and you stay with me.” _

_ Blue sighed. “I can’t just leave him, Papy. I told you before, I love him. And especially now that we’re bonded, I don’t want to--” _

_ Stretch shot to his feet, taking a few steps forward until he was in Blue’s personal space. Blue froze in place, forcing himself not to step back and away from his anger. _

_ “You’re bonded?” _

_ Blue squinted at him incredulously. “Of course. What did you think being married meant?” _

_ Stretch let out a short, mirthless laugh. “Marriage doesn’t mean a bonding! It’s only a promise to stay together, to work honestly towards something like that.” _

_ Blue was already shaking his head, cursing himself for forgetting how his old world was different. “Not in UnderFell. They bond right away because of how often people die. It helps partners always know if the other is alive or being attacked.” _

_ Stretch swore loudly. “So they’ve even fucked that up! Damn it, Blue, how can you live somewhere that’s so backwards?” _

_ Blue just watched his brother sadly, not knowing what to say.  _

_ Suddenly, Stretch was on both knees in front of him, holding tightly onto his hands. “Please, Blue. You need to get rid of it. You need to stay with me.” _

_ ”Papy, I’m not just going to erase it. It means more to me than that!” Blue said incredulously, pulling his hands away and glaring at his brother.  _

_ Stretch looked almost desperate as he reached out, grabbing tightly onto Blue’s hands again and not letting him pull away this time. “Please, Blue. I’m begging you, I can’t protect you while you’re there. I don’t know if you’re..if you’re alive, or if you’re a pile of dust and a blue bandanna!” _

_ Oh. So that was it.  _

_ “Papy, I’m not going to die again. There’s already been a reset in Red’s world. The human in UnderFell doesn’t kill people.” _

_ Stretch’s head snapped up and he stared at him, unbelieving. “How do you--” _

_ Blue gestured at his chest, where his soul lay beneath his ribs. “My soul bond with Red. He remembers the resets, so it lets me remember them, too.” _

_ Stretch just stared at the place where Blue had gestured, then something seemed to come over him. “That’s it…” he said quietly. “You have to forget.” _

_ Before Blue could react, Stretch lunged forward, and in less than a second, he held Blue’s bared soul in his hand and was standing up to his full height. Blue began to panic. He knew Stretch would never hurt him, but he also knew that that didn’t hold true for the part of his soul that was dyed red. _

_ “Papy! Please! Please, don’t, please stop, I don’t want you to--” Blue was sobbing, devolving into incoherency as he watched him summon a small bone construct. He jumped for his soul, but Stretch was so much taller than him, he would never be able to reach it in time. Desperately, he summoned a bone construct, but he just couldn’t make himself throw it at his 1 HP brother... _

_ The bottom curves of his soul turned to dust as Stretch severed the section of red away. Blue screamed in pain, his attack dissolving, and collapsed to the ground, unconscious.  _

_ Stretch, with far more care than he had given anything else in his entire life, returned his brother’s mutilated soul to his chest cavity. He scooped him up gently, carrying him out the door and murmuring, “Don’t worry, Sans. I’ll keep you safe. They’ll never take you away from me again.” _

 

Red burst in through the door, slamming it closed behind him and yelling, “It was his fucking brother!”

Fell looked up from his book, surprised at the sudden entrance. When he heard what Red said, he quickly set it aside and took of his glasses, standing and crossing the room to his brother. “What are you talking about?” he asked quietly, not wanting to wake Blue, if he’d had time to fall asleep yet.

“Stretch! It was Stretch! He cut the soul bond off!” Red said angrily, stomping the snow off of his shoes and folding his arms tightly. 

Fell’s mouth dropped open despite himself and he said, “He did  _ what? _ How do you know?”

Red threw his hands up into the air. “Motherfucker never liked that his brother left him. And Blue went to Swapverse the day he disappeared! Stupid fucking blueberry must have wanted to mend fences or something.”

“Didn’t you go talk to him once we realized Blue was missing?”

“Yeah, but it’s not like he would have admitted it. He barely let me into the house, and he would have hidden Blue somewhere where I couldn’t see him. Besides, you know I thought it was Undyne!”

Fell cocked an eyebrow at him. “Well, then I suppose we are lucky that I didn’t allow you to kill her wife, aren’t we?”

Red snorted at that, then swung around and punched the wall, leaving a sizeable dent behind. “That fucking--gah! I would kill him if I could figure out why Blue’s fucking world is blocked!”

Fell placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder comfortingly, and Red took several deep breaths. “I don’t think that Blue would want you to do that, Sans.” Fell said softly, and Red deflated. 

“I know,” he said softly. “Even though he fucking deserves it.” Damn it, he was crying again.

“Are you going to tell him about this?”

Red looked at the ground, rubbing at his eyes. “I don’t know. Should I?”

“I think he deserves to know. What are we going to do about it?”

“What can we do about it? Is there a way to fix this?”

Fell took hold of Red’s shoulder and steered him to the couch so that he could sit. “Fix what, exactly?”

Red sat down heavily, still rubbing at his eyes and trying not to let his brother see the tears that were falling down his face. “Th-the soul bond. Or even just his soul, I suppose. He was talking about wanting to fix it after you walked out, and I thought maybe--”

Fell was shaking his head. “You know you can’t do another one. The amount that you traded in the first place was dangerous enough, and if you give any more of your soul, there is the possibility that you could fall down. And Blue doesn’t have enough of a soul left to allow for mistakes.”

Red rubbed at his chest thoughtfully. “What if I gave it back?”

Fell looked at him, confused, and Red hurried to explain. “What if I give him some of his own soul back? Since it has my magic now, wouldn’t it be like a soul bond on his end? And I would still have some of him left, so it would work both ways. M-maybe it would even give him his memories back!”

Fell looked thoughtful, and Red felt his hopes soar. “That could work. But Red...that could easily kill him. Is it worth it, to lose him?”

Red almost said yes. He almost stood up and started going upstairs right that second to try it, consequences be damned. He needed  _ Blue _ , and not the...the stranger upstairs. But he saw the look in Fell’s eyes, and he remembered how much his brother had changed over the last few years. How much Blue had changed him. He had basically adopted his brother’s alternate, taking him in and treating him like family. Blue and Red were everything to Fell. Blue wasn’t just his to risk. 

“I...no. No, it’s not,” Red whispered. 

 

_ Blue had completely exhausted himself from crying. He didn’t think he had anything else left in him to cry. He was tied up in the shed, which normally would have been fairly easy to get out of, but Stretch seemed to have made some additions in here since he left. The bars were closer together, too close to get through, and every object had been removed, leaving Blue with no bed or food or even the kind notes he would have left a human if he had captured them.  _

_ What was he going to do? Red and Fell wouldn’t think to come here for him. He hadn’t even told them that he was leaving, let alone where he was going! Maybe they would think there had been a reset and that he’d been returned to his world? But no, they knew that when Swapverse had a reset, Blue stayed with them. _

_ They would think he’d been dusted. They would think someone in their world had killed him. _

_ Blue found himself hoping very hard that they wouldn’t kill anyone. They’d been doing so well, Fell had even found the beginnings of gaining back the emotion he had lost to his LV. He didn’t want them to lose all of that just because of him.  _

_ And what would happen when the world reset? He didn’t have his soul bond anymore, he would forget everything! Would he return to UnderFell? That was his world now, but...he was pretty sure resets didn’t cross multiversal lines. No, he would stay here...and he would forget.  _

_ What was he going to do? _

_ His remaining piece of a soul gave a painful lurch, and he gasped slightly. He could feel the missing part as though it had been a piece of his body that had turned to dust. There was an intense sensation of something missing. _

_ Had Red felt it when their connection had been severed?  _

_ Blue hoped not. Red didn’t deserve to be in pain like he had been. This was borne of his own trusting stupidity. _

_ The door creaked open suddenly, and Blue squinted at the sudden stream of light. Stretch stepped through carefully, shutting the door behind him. Blue glared at his brother, trying not to shake. There was probably nothing to be afraid of. Stretch had already gotten what he wanted, and despite everything, he did seem to have what he thought were Blue’s best interests at heart.  _

_ Blue knew he wouldn’t hurt him. He knew he could be better. He could be helped. _

_ Blue could help him. _

 

Red cracked his door open, more food in his hands. “Blue?” he asked quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was still asleep.

“I’m awake,” came the muffled reply, and Red shivered slightly at how tired he sounded. 

“Brought you more food,” he murmured, stepping through the door and closing it behind him. “Do you mind if I turn on the light?”

Blue made a noncommittal noise that Red chose to take as a no, and he flicked on the light. Blue was sprawled facedown across the bed, and Red couldn’t help the ghost of a smile that flickered across his face. Blue was still wearing his jacket, and he had the hood flipped up so that Red couldn’t see his skull and he had managed to kick off all of his blankets, which were now bundled down somewhere around his knees.  

“Hey, who let the fluff monster in here?”

Blue let out a groaning sort of laugh, then rolled over. “I didn’t mean to lay like that, that actually kind of hurt. I roll around a lot in my sleep, is all,” he informed him.

Red smiled for real this time and said, “Oh, believe me, I know. Can’t count the number of times I’ve woken up to you hitting me in the face with your flailing,”

Blue huffed and pulled himself into a sitting position. “I do not  _ flail! _ ” he protested.

“Oh, yeah? Tell my eye that,” Red laughed, gesturing at a small crack under his left socket as he pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed. 

Blue’s eyes widened. “Did I really do that?” he asked, seeming a little surprised at his apparent strength.

Red laughed loudly and shook his head. “Nah. That was Doggo, I’m just messin’ with ya.”

Blue huffed and smacked him on the arm, and for a second, it almost felt how it used to. Then the moment was gone and he dropped his eyes, choosing instead to focus on the sheets that were now bunched around Blue’s feet. 

“Did I hear something about food?” Blue asked quietly, seeming to pick up on the mood of the larger skeleton. Red held out the plate, and Blue took it, digging in happily. “What’s with all the lasagna?” he asked around a mouthful.

Red shrugged. “My brother makes it when he’s stressed. I’d bring you some tacos but we don’t have any left from when you were here.” he said apologetically. He knew that the lasagna wasn’t the best, but unless Blue liked mustard for some reason now, it was really the only option. 

Blue hummed thoughtfully, taking another bite and swallowing it. “What happened to me?” he asked suddenly.

Red looked up at him, confused. “What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Like…” Blue set the plate aside and gestured to the room around him. “Why do you look so much like me? How did I end up here with you? Where was Papy in all of this? And where did I go? You found me in what I’m pretty sure now was a pile of snow, and you didn’t even seem surprised. You just took me home and patched me up. Did I leave or something?”

Red studied him for a moment. “It’s a bit complicated,” he said finally.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Blue said stubbornly, picking the plate back up and taking another bite. 

“Alright,” Red sighed. “I don’t suppose you’ve heard of multiverse theory?” 

As he explained, he refused to look at Blue’s face, focusing down at his hands. He talked about travelling through different universes using the machine in the basement, meeting other versions of himself. He told him about the resets, and how so many other versions of themselves had gone through them too. He managed to hold his emotions in check through telling him how they met, and how Blue showed up at his house three days later, insisting on being let in so that they could be friends. He kept his eyes dry as he spoke about their growing friendship, how he fell deeply in love with him, coming to need him so much that Blue was often the only one who could help him out of his panic attacks and flashbacks. He told them about an annoying practical joke their friends had played on Blue that led to him proposing, and Stretch’s reaction to that announcement. Blue tried to interrupt him then, probably finding that hard to believe, but Red ignored him and kept going. He told him how they took him in, how they were married and subsequently bonded, and Blue didn’t make a sound as he told him how one day about a year after they’d left Swapverse, Red had come back from his job to find the house empty, an unusual and concerning thing for the world they lived in. He had, of course, immediately panicked, searching high and low for Blue through the entire underground, but he came up empty. He’d asked through the other universes, but everyone said they hadn’t seen him. When he finally trailed off, Blue asked, quietly, “How long have I been gone?”

“Only about two weeks,” Red answered, mouth dry from all of the talking he had done. “You were back in your world the whole time, and I..I thought you were dead.”

There was a long silence, then Blue asked, “Didn’t you check in my world? You must have at least thought I would go and try to fix things with Papy. He’s my brother.”

Red nodded tiredly, still not making eye contact. “Yeah, that’s the first place I checked after I finished searching my world. But your brother told me you weren’t there, and I...I was so sure you’d been dusted. I’d gotten in this big fight with Undyne, and she’d threatened to kill you, so I just assumed it was her. I almost killed the bitch, but--”

“Language.”

Red’s gaze shot up to meet Blue’s, shocked. Blue looked horrified by his slip of the tongue, but Red found himself surprised that he had held out as long as he did. Suddenly, he found himself laughing, hard enough that the tears finally came, but they weren’t sad. Blue looked surprised by his sudden laughter, but he’d always said how infectious Red’s real laugh was, and he was soon joining him. 

As he calmed down, Red stood and walked over to the closet, a huge smile still across his face. He slid open the door and reached up onto the top shelf, bringing down two jars and crossing back to Blue before handing them over.

Blue turned the jar that was stuffed full of Gs, and he started laughing all over again when he saw the label. “I made you have a swear jar?” he asked between breathless giggles. 

Red nodded, grinning, then said, “Yeah, and my brother. His is even more full than mine. You always used it for groceries and fixing up the house, and let me tell you, they never ran low.”

Blue laughed again, then looked at the other one. “Why do I have a G in here?” he asked, seeming somewhat surprised. 

Red smiled again. “There was a bit of an incident involving Boss and a Halloween mask hiding behind the shower curtain for you to come in.”

Blue seemed to like that answer, bursting into a new fit of laughter. Red watched him as he tried to calm himself down, still smiling softly as he watched. 

After a few moments, Blue turned and caught his eye, and there was a spark of something Red had been missing that passed between them. Blue seemed to feel it, too, and his smile got sad. 

“Is there anything we can do to fix me?” he asked quietly, having sobered quite a bit. 

Red sighed, dropping his smile and looking at his hands again. “I don’t know. The only thing we can think of to do is far too dangerous. It could easily kill you, with your soul being as weak as it is.”

“My world is gone, isn’t it?”

Red looked up at him, frowning slightly. He hadn’t expected this turn in the conversation. “Yeah, I think so. Stretch might have done something he didn’t understand when he did that to your soul,” he answered. 

Blue nodded thoughtfully. “Then I don’t care. We need to try it, whatever it is.”

Red’s eyes widened as he stared at the determined expression on the other’s face. “Blue, you could die--”

“I told you, I don’t care. My world is gone, my memories of you are gone. What do I have left to live for?” Blue didn’t look sad, he looked clinical. As though they were discussing how to fix the sink instead of why he wanted to risk his own dusting. “And won’t I come back anyway? This world resets, right?”

“Blue, you can’t just--”

“What’s the point of my soul surviving if everything I love is gone?” he asked suddenly. “Tell me that. I’ve lost  _ everything _ .”

Red stared at him. How could he say that with such a lack of emotion on his face? “Blue you haven’t lost everything--”

Blue threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. “Red, I don’t even remember you! And I loved you enough to have bonded with you! My world is gone, and there is no reason for me to be around without it and without you!”

Red didn’t know how to respond to that. His face must have shown his indecision, because Blue sighed and set the jars aside before scooting himself closer and taking ahold of both of Red’s hands, forcing him to look at him. “Please, Red. I’ve got nothing left. You’ve got to help me try to get something back.”

 

_ Sans woke up quickly, just like he always did, beating his alarm clock by almost fifteen minutes. He high-fived one of the action figures he kept by his nightstand, impressed with himself in that he had managed to beat his own best time. _

_ He hopped out of bed, dressing quickly before going to wake Stretch. He slammed the door open, posing in the doorway and yelling, “Get up, Papy! It’s time to make the most of this day! Maybe it stopped snowing!” _

_ To his surprise, Papy was already sitting up in bed, and at Sans’s words, he smiled widely. “I’m sure it has, bro. Why don’t you go check?” _

_ Sans gasped happily and dashed to go look out the downstairs window.  _

_ After he left, Stretch collapsed back into his bed, a grin growing on his face. “It worked…” he whispered, almost unable to contain himself. _

 

“Blue…”

Blue tugged on his hands, placing them on his chest, above where his soul lay. “Don’t say that you can’t. Please, Red. I just want to remember you,” he begged, tears starting to gather in his eyes. “I...I can  _ feel  _ my soul reaching out for you. I didn’t know what it was before but when you’re right here, I can feel myself wanting to be closer to you. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

When Red stayed silent, staring at him with an unreadable expression, Blue kept talking, desperation making the tears come faster. “I have nothing left. Absolutely n-nothing. And don’t t-tell me we can start over, b-because I can s-see the way you look at m-me when you think I’m not watching and I know you don’t w-want me. You w-want the other me. Don’t you?”

Red opened his mouth to protest, then closed it, finding himself unable to lie when Blue was looking at him like that. He hated himself for not being able to truthfully tell the other why it should matter, why they shouldn’t do this. 

“I would rather have you like this than dead,” he said finally, relieved at himself that it was the truth. 

“I don’t have to die!” Blue said, gripping tighter onto his hands and leaning closer. “You said it yourself, it’s just a risk! And isn’t...isn’t remembering you worth the risk?”

Red just stared at him. He didn’t know what to say. Hell, there was nothing to say. Blue was looking at him earnestly, but Red could see he knew exactly what he was asking. 

“I just want something to survive for,” Blue said quietly, and that sealed it. 

“Okay,” Red said, too quietly to be heard. He cleared his throat and repeated himself, louder this time. “Okay. We can try. But you need to finish healing first. I’m not adding any more risk than there needs to be.” 

Blue nodded excitedly and, after a moment, let go of his hands, allowing Red to stand and grab the empty plate. He laid down slowly, wrapping Red’s coat more tightly around him. Red pulled the blankets back over him gently, not making eye contact. 

He turned to leave, but Blue shifted suddenly and said, “Wait!”

He looked back, and Blue blushed brightly. “I...I had nightmares last time. Can you…” he cut himself off, looking away and towards the blankets. “Can you stay?” he finished, still not looking up. 

Red hesitated for a moment, then set the plate aside and crossed the room, kicking off his shoes and climbing into the bed awkwardly. Blue immediately turned over and pressed himself against the other. Red wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes, trying to pretend that everything was back to the way it had been. 

__  
_ "I see you are approaching, human. Are you going to give me a hug of acceptance?" Sans asked happily, extending his arms. Of course he, as magnificent as he was, was able to change the human's mind! Of course it had been he that had-- _ __  
_ All thoughts fled his mind as the human's smile changed and they brandished the knife they held. He looked at them in shock as they began walking steadily towards him. No! No, they could change! They could be better!  _ __  
_ Why were they doing this? _ __  
_ Sans made himself stay still, forced himself to trust in the human. He knew they could do better, and he believed in himself, that he could be the one to change them.  _ __  
_ The human raised the knife, bringing it up high, and Sans realized, very suddenly, that he was about to die.  _ _  
_ __ Almost before he had a chance to finish the thought, there was a flash of orange, and the human brought their knife down. "Papy!"

 

Red blinked his eyes open, wincing at the sudden influx of light assaulting his sockets. There was something pressed against him, and he forced himself to open his eyes the rest of the way and look down. 

Blue had managed to get the hood of his coat flipped partially back up, and it obscured part of his face. His soft breathing was stirring the fur of the lining slightly, and he had his hands tucked up in front of him, fists clenching into the material of Red’s shirt. Their legs were tangled together, and Red knew from experience that he wouldn’t be able to escape the embrace without waking Blue up. 

So he stayed there, rolling onto his back to get comfortable and pulling Blue up slightly. Blue made a small noise and shifted, wrapping his arms around the bottom of Red’s ribs. Red watched him silently, taking in the sight of the little skeleton. He’d always been at his most adorable when he was sleeping, whether he was conked out on the couch with his mouth hanging open and snoring loud enough to make Fell peek in from the other room, or he was dozing lightly on the ferry, leaning against Red’s shoulder because he was so tired from the day of walking through the underground. 

This used to be Red’s favorite part of the day, making himself wake up before Blue so that he could watch all the little expressions, the shifts in his breathing and in his body, always pressing himself as close to Red as he could, and always managing to have completely kicked the blankets off of them, if not onto the floor. As he lay there, taking him in all over again, he realized that nothing had changed in that regard. He brought a hand across himself, carefully cupping Blue’s cheek. Blue, as always, nuzzled unconsciously into the touch, then turned his head so that Red had to be careful about not poking him in the eye, and solidly bit Red’s finger.

Red snatched his hand away, trying to muffle his cursing whilst also trying not to laugh. He had forgotten about that particular quirk. Despite his efforts, his snickering seemed to stir the smaller skeleton, and he blinked sleepily, letting out an adorable yawn before seeming to realize where he was, sitting up quickly. From this angle, Red noticed that the orange hoodie had disappeared, but he didn't have time to wonder where it had gone before Blue winced, grabbing onto his ribs. Red extracted his legs before joining him, crossing them and reaching for the leather jacket.

He hesitated, glancing up and receiving a nod of approval before baring Blue’s chest. The marrow had started soaking through in earnest again, and he groaned slightly, berating himself for not checking it earlier. Blue’s restless sleeping must have done some damage. 

He pulled himself out of bed, saying, “Be right back” before he blipped away, reappearing quickly with more bandages. He pressed Blue to lay back down and began removing the old dressings, being as gentle as he could so as not to cause any more pain. 

“You can teleport,” Blue said quietly, his voice slightly strained with pain. Red nodded, continuing to work.

“Papy could teleport, too.”

At this, Red looked up at his face. Blue’s eyes were squeezed shut, and he was grimacing. Without waiting for a response from Red, he continued. 

“I...I know he wasn’t nice. Selfish, and all that, and that he probably hurt me. But I don’t remember it. He was all I had, for such a long time. He raised me.”

Red went back to changing the bandaging, electing to keep his opinion to himself. 

“From what you’ve told me, the human usually kills me first, doesn’t it? It...it tried. I was trying to tell them that they could be better. That they could change. But they...they didn’t listen. They were going to kill me. But Papy took it.”

Red finished removing the bandages and started to apply the new ones, listening intently. 

“He stepping in front of the knife and took the hit for me. And...well, he only has 1 HP. The human didn’t even bother to stop walking after he started to turn to dust. They just stepped around me and kept going.”

Blue took a deep, shuddering breath, and Red paused for a moment as the area he was working on shook. 

“B-before he died, he said he loved me, and that he was glad I knew that. He told me never to forget that he was the one who loved me the most, even if he sometimes didn’t act like it. I didn’t understand it at the time, but...do you think that maybe he knew what was going to happen? That the world would disappear?” 

Red finished what he was working on and gathered up the bloodied bandages, intending to teleport down to the kitchen to throw them away, when Blue reached up and grabbed his wrist. He looked at Blue’s face, and realized he actually wanted an answer. 

He sighed. “I don’t know. But in any case, I’m glad you ended up back here.” Then, before he could question it, he leaned down and planted a kiss on the top of his head before gently freeing himself and teleporting to the kitchen.

 

_ Sans held the cloth so tightly in his hands, he could feel his joints creaking. He knew his eyelights were gone, and he could feel the tears running from his eyes so quickly that even if he had the presence of mind to wipe them away, he wouldn't have been able to keep up. _ __  
_ His brother's dust filled the air, and Sans was trying not to fall into despair as he thought about how it had been his own stupidity, his own idiotically innocent belief that anyone could be good if they tried, that had caused this. He may as well have held the knife himself. _ __  
_ But he hadn't. _ __  
_ Sans felt his eyelights return and the tears stop as he stood slowly, too numb to register that more dust was falling out of the coat. He tied the offensively bright sweatshirt tightly around his waist and began making his way after the little horror that had killed his brother. _ __  
_ He no longer believed in them. _ __  
  


“You have to take your shirt off, you dork,” Red said, pulling slightly at the hem of Blue’s shirt. 

Blue fanned at himself, grinning widely. “Well, how forward of you, sir!”

Red snorted and pushed at him, making Blue fall back onto the bed as he laughed at his own dumb joke. ‘More of a Papyrus’, indeed. 

It had been almost two weeks since Blue had come back. His universe was still gone, but he had slowly gotten happier. He still couldn’t sleep alone without having nightmares, but that was okay, because Red was always there to keep them away. 

“Take your fucking shirt off, seriously,” Red laughed. 

Blue sat back up and stripped off his shirt, an old one of Red’s that was black and said ‘I find this humerus’.  “That’s a G for the swear jar!” he sang out as he tossed the shirt at Red’s face.

Red dodged and snorted again. “Yeah, alright shorty. How about you make me?” he said as he knelt down to inspect the previously injured area. The breaks had healed over nicely, and despite the fact that the pieces of rib that had been cut away would never come back, his sternum and the upper parts of his ribcage that hadn’t been affected still protected his soul enough for daily life. 

“Is it healed enough to try it?” Blue asked quietly, and Red sobered slightly.

“It’s gettin’ there,” he said. “We’d better give it another day, just in case.”

“Are you sure? It looks like it’s--”

He was cut off by the door swinging open without warning, Fell outlined in the doorway. 

“Blue, when you are finished, I require you in the kitchen. I cannot find the soo-meen.”

They both stared at him until Blue finally said, “The what?”

Fell huffed in exasperation. “I am trying to make tacos like we did last night, and the recipe calls for soo-meen.”

Red, suddenly realizing what his brother was talking about, started to laugh, standing as he did so and handing Blue back his shirt. 

Blue glanced at him, confused, then turned back to Fell. “I’ve never heard of that. Are you trying a new recipe? How is it spelled?”

“C-U-M-I-N.”

Blue looked like he had just won the lottery with the grin that spread across his face. “It’s pronounced cue-min, Fell,” he said, happily exasperated. “Here, I’ll help you find it.” 

Red shook his head, still laughing as Blue followed Fell out and down the stairs, pulling his shirt back on as he went. 

 

_ Standing quietly in the huge golden room, Sans awaited the arrival of the human. He was going to fix his mistake. He didn’t care what happened to him, he didn’t care what it took, he was going to stop the human from destroying what little hope they had left. _

_ He only had to hope he was good enough.  _

_ The stained glass windows only let in a small amount of light, and he would have expected this hall to be dim. However, everything seemed to glimmer brightly. It almost felt like a dream, but every time Sans let himself start to believe that he could just wake up and all of this would be gone, he would catch sight of the sweatshirt tightly tied around his waist.  _

_ Papy dying in front of him hadn’t been a dream. He had felt the dust in the air, choked on it even. There was no way it hadn’t happened.  _

_ Sans took a deep breath and stood his ground as he heard footsteps echoing at the end of the Hall. _

 

After dinner, the three of them had settled down to watch some TV. Blue was in the middle, with Red to his left, and he looked on the verge of falling asleep, at one point even accidentally cuddling up to the wrong brother. Fell had found this very amusing, but Blue had blushed so hard he looked like an actual blueberry, despite their assurances that it was something he did often. Finally, after about the five hundredth time Blue yawned, Red pushed him off the couch good naturedly and told him to go to bed. Blue, smiling, stood up and went to the stairs, pausing at the bottom to look back at Red.

“I’m comin’,” he assured him, starting to stand when Fell grabbed his arm and tugged him back down. 

“I need to talk to you,” he murmured, and Red turned and gestured for Blue to go up without him. 

“What’s up?” he asked, turning back to his brother. 

Fell looked at him carefully for a moment, then said, “I know what you are planning to do.”

Red jumped slightly, then opened his mouth to protest, but Fell held up a hand to stop him. “I am not going to tell you what to do,” he said. “But you need to think very carefully about this. These last two weeks have been something close to normal, and I don’t think that it’s necessary to risk his life to get something you already have a hope of obtaining.”

Red spluttered like a fish, unable to find the words to respond to something as upfront as that. Finally, he gathered himself enough to say, “He said he would rather risk dying than keep living without anything to ‘survive’ for, Boss. How the hell was I supposed to respond to that?”

Fell glared down at him, the show of anger being the first Red had seen from him for almost the entirety of the last two weeks. “You tell him that he can survive for all of this!” he said, gesturing around the room. “For his family here! For you!” At that, he jabbed a finger at Red’s chest. 

Red just stared up at him. “He...he said that he knew I...I didn’t…” he trailed off, looking down and thinking carefully about what Blue had said. At the time, the words had made sense. Red didn’t want anyone but his Blue. But now…

This was his Blue, wasn’t it?

“Just think about it, Sans,” said his brother, standing and turning off the TV before going up to his room. Red sat and thought quietly for a few moments, then stood and walked up the stairs, making his way to the room he and Blue shared. Creaking the door open, he saw that Blue was awake, but just barely. 

He let himself into the room, and Blue’s eyelights glowed slightly brighter, lighting up his arms as they reached up for him. Smiling, he walked to him and crawled under the covers, allowing Blue to curl into him as he always did. 

“What did he need?” Blue asked sleepily, already letting his eyes fall closed. 

“Just wanted to talk to me about some stuff,” Red murmured, kissing the top of his head lightly. “Nothing to worry about.”

He felt Blue nod against him, then his breathing slowed, and Red silently held him as he fell asleep. 

This was his Blue. 

He turned to face him, wrapping both arms around him and pulling him closer. He let his eyes drift shut as he let himself breathe in the scent of cilantro and tobacco smoke. He could feel his soul sending out tendrils of magic towards the other, trying to connect, trying to find anything to latch on to.

This was his Blue.

He tightened his hold on the other as tears began to slip down his cheeks. His soul sent out more magic, and he encouraged it, desperate for anything, anything at all to latch onto.

This was his Blue.

He fell asleep to the sound of Blue’s breathing and the feeling of his magic wrapping its way around the person he loved most in the world. 

 

_ He was so tired. He had never been so tired before. They had been fighting for hours, every blow and dodge and hit draining his energy. He wouldn’t last much longer, and he knew it.  _

_ He was just so tired.  _

_ He almost didn’t feel it when the human slashed him across the ribs, breaking through bone and only just missing hitting his soul. But then he did. And he screamed.  _

_ The human looked down at him, frowning. When had he fallen to the ground.  _

_ “You know,” it said emotionlessly, “I thought you would be way more fun like this.” _

_ Then it stepped over him, and he watched through tear-filled eyes as they walked away, never once looking back.  _

_ He was so tired. It hurt so much. _

_ His eyelights flickered out, his vision going completely black. All he felt was pain, burning through him like fire. All of his bones felt like they were splitting apart. He laid there for what felt like years, but was, in reality, probably a few hours. _

_ Then he felt a pressure, like everything in him was being squeezed at once. Was this what dusting felt like? _

_ He was...he was so… _

_ Cold? _

 

“What do you mean, you're not going to do it?” Blue asked, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “Red, you promised--”

Red held out a hand. “I just said we needed to talk about it first,” he said gently. 

Blue stared at him for a few seconds, then huffed and sat back down on the bed. “Fine. What do we need to talk about?”

Red sat beside him, the air between them slightly less comfortable than it had been lately. “I don't want to risk you dying.”

“Haven't we already been over this? It's worth the risk to--”

“To get me back, right?” Red interrupted. “Blue, you already have me.”

Blue turned to look at him, surprised. “But I'm not _your_ Blue. I don't remember anything about you.”

“You can learn it! You did it once, why not do it again?”

“But I thought you didn't--”

“I do. I do want you, Blue. I don’t care if you remember me before this. When we got married, I promised to love you however you came to me and I’m going to keep that promise.”

Blue’s mouth was half-open and he was staring at Red like he'd never seen him before. When no response was forthcoming from him, Red continued, trying to express exactly what he was feeling. “If you're willing to start over, to try it again, I would be happy to start over with you.”

Blue’s eyes welled up with tears as he listened, but Red couldn't seem to stop. “I love you, Blue. Just as much as the day you left, just as much as when I asked you to marry me. I don't care if you don't remember, I don't care if you've changed, I’ll never stop loving you.”

“Red…” Blue said, and Red choked on his remaining words, looking at him hopefully. “Are...Are you sure?”

Red leaned forward, taking his hands and pulling them into his chest, just like Blue had done to him two weeks ago. His soul immediately began sending out tendrils of magic, and they wound themselves around Blue’s fingers. Despite being incorporeal, they still seemed to be holding tight, as though afraid he would pull away. Blue watched them as his tears began to spill over, seeming enamored by the sight. 

“I'm completely sure.” Red said softly. “These last two weeks have felt like falling in love with you all over again. And if all you need is something to survive for, I want to help with that. I don't want to take any risk of losing you again, Blue. You're my entire world.”

And with that, Blue leaned forward, pressing his teeth against Red’s and closing his eyes tightly. Red wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, savoring this moment, committing it to memory. 

This was his Blue. And he never wanted to forget that. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions at all about how things fit together (Like, idk, how Blue ended up back in UF after his fight or whatever), ask me! There are a lot of things that go unexplained that I have answers to, they just didn't go smoothly into the story. Please, ask away.
> 
> [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/CrushingOnSans) [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/CrushingOnSans) [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/crushingonsans)
> 
> The best way to contact me is by email! crushingonsans@gmail.com


	51. Shoutouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know I said I wouldn't post until Saturday but you should honestly know by now that I'm a dirty liar.  
> I mean...does it technically count as posting if I didn't actually write a thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter really, really bothers everyone, I can take it down when I post the next chapter and just replace it, but I kind of like the idea of pausing after 50 chapters and just giving out some thanks before continuing.
> 
> Let me know if any of the links aren't working!

Sorry, guys, this isn't a real chapter. Sorry to get your hopes up.

 

I have been getting SO MANY kind comments on my last chapter, and I was just feeling like I want to give back a little bit! Thank all of you so, so much, you are so incredibly amazing!

I know this is going to make it look like I think I'm all that, and while I am all that (lmao) that's not why I'm doing this. 

 

Anyway, I wanted to give links to some of my favorite fanfictions! All of these are rec'd in my Bookmarks, and I have almost 150 Bookmarks so if you need more ideas, feel free to go check that out. Don't worry, I am fully aware that most of these have more reads alone that I do in total, I'm not necessarily trying to give them more, I just really, really want to show my appreciation for them and for you!

 

First of all, some of my favorite authors are: [SansyFresh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SansyFresh), [GallifreyanChild](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanChild/pseuds/GallifreyanChild), [0neType](http://archiveofourown.org/users/0neType), and [idontevenknowugh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/idontevenknowugh). I highly encourage you guys to go and read everything they've ever posted (even though some of them might take you a while, you know who you are xD) 

I would also like to thank Sora_Tayuya for their amazing reviews!!!

 

Now, for the actual Fic recommendations!!!

Before I start, SansyFresh is amazing, they've written me two gift fics! If you haven't read them yet, they are [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9195065/chapters/20861903) and [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8681998). Seriously, they are one of the best authors I've ever had the pleasure of reading (bias aside lol)

**Smut-Free**

[Blissful Ignorance](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8316637)-Indulgenceahoy

_Blue finds a bunny ((AMAZING exploration of UnderSwap))_

[First Thing in the Morning](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7644337)-SansyFresh

_Blue wakes up with a migraine and tries to go about his day like he normally would. Unfortunately, his and his brother's edgy counterparts have decided to be as loud as they possibly can. ((I just love this version of Blue. I love it so much))_

[Fell's Disambiguation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8479576/chapters/19431367)-Canadian_Buckbeaver

_Fell was kidnapped and tortured by Error!Sans. It's up to the rest of the gang to help him remember who he used to be. But do they want him to remember? ((This idea has so much potential. I just...I can't wait for more to come from it!)_

[The Strangest Alternate Universe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6962704/chapters/15873724)-DeckofDragons

_Underfell Sans accidentally ends up in the what he thinks is the strangest alternate universe imaginable: Underswap. Unable (or perhaps unwilling) to find a way back to his own universe he's forced to stay with the bizarre alternate versions of himself and his brother. But in the end he might actually end up kind of liking this strange happy version of himself. ((The slowest burn romance I have ever read. Really good though, and still updating very regularly while still managing to maintain a fairly interesting story 59 chapters in, which is impressive))_

[Panic at the Heart-Throbbing Christmas Party](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7134557/chapters/16199357)-TheFreshPrinceOfNightmares

_((Just the best shitposting ever. I can't get enough of this stupid thing))_

[A Lack of Brotherly Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8384338/chapters/19207273)-Askellie

_After a brutal series of genocide runs, Sans wakes up in an alternate universe where the monsters were saved, everyone is on the surface and the future looks bright…except the fundamental difference in this universe is that its resident Sans never loved or supported his brother. As a result, Papyrus is a lonely outcast, unable to fit in and scarred from years of emotional neglect._ _And Sans isn't going to let that stand. ((BAD BROTHER AU, WE HAVE BAD BROTHER AU))_

[Relaxation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7817008/chapters/17840167)-SansyFresh

_Lust is stuck in Undertale, along with the Underfell brothers. One night Red can't sleep for his night terrors, so Lust decides to lend a helping hand. ((Despite how the summary and the involvement of a Lust brother make this sound, it really is smut-free. And it's fantastic, but you already know how much I love it if you've read Happier))_

[In The Clear](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5781361/chapters/13324393)-snickerdoodleskeletons

_After spending the night with a certain fiery bartender, Sans discovers he has been left with more than an unanswered crush. ((Sansby, skelepreg, mpreg, just so you know. Really cute, and contains the ultimate misunderstanding like seriously if you've read this you know what I'm talking about))_

[Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5056333/chapters/11627629)-unrestedjade

_Flowey gets bored and decides to change up one of his runs. Papyrus presents an interesting project, for the moment. ((If you for some reason have not read this, go do it now. It is fantastic. I let the fact that Sans wasn't the main character stop me from reading this for FAR too long, don't make my mistakes!))_

**Smut & Story**

[For An Everlasting Smile](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6805138/chapters/15539995)-Anonynonimus

_Sans is extremely depressed and in an effort to talk about it, Papyrus accidentally confuses his brother into thinking he reciprocated his romantic affection. Though Sans's feelings are very one sided, Papyrus can't bring himself to say so especially if it means keeping an everlasting smile on his face. ((don't read the sequel if you want to be happy with life. But actually, read it too, it's so good))_

[Learn to Live](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5989543/chapters/13763221), [Learn to Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7174448/chapters/16285481), ((the whole [series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/435292) tbh))-I_Write_Sans_Not_Tragedies

_((Honestly one of my all-time favorites. It's an 'abused Red goes to UnderSwap' fic but the absolute best one I've ever read. Cannot recommend this one MORE highly))_

[Sunlight & Shadow](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6060727/chapters/13893550)-Purrfectlysinful

_Undertale AU wherein when monsters die, they become either angels or demons based on their emotional/mental state. After a certain important event, Papyrus wakes up with only the memory of his own name. ((This is the fic that made me love RebornTale))_

[To Love Again](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7261132/chapters/16486750)-Sinnyskele

_Sans, Red, and Rus all go to the prestigious Monster State University where they befriend each other through their shared love for science. There, the three skeletons each meet a new monster that changes their lives forever- for better, or for worse. Sans, Red, and Rus struggle to overcome their past and their baggage as their present stares them in the face. ((All the Fontcests. Absolutely fantastic story, all the feels, all the time))_

[Sticks & Stones](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6242380/chapters/14302720)-0neType

_Papyrus gets shunted across universes and ends up in a place that is nothing like the Snowdin he calls home. There's no warm welcome to receive him; only the all encompassing feeling of danger that seeps into his bones. Though, maybe calling them his bones would be a bit of a stretch considering he's no longer in his own body. Instead, he has a scar over his eye, pointed claws and teeth as sharp as knives. He's desperate to get back home but, between searching for a way back and keeping up appearances with a sad little skeleton that looks an awful lot like his brother, everything is kind of a mess. ((I don't even like Honeymustard, why do I adore this so much?))_

[To Love Yourself](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6424108/chapters/14705545)-undertailsoulsex

___UF!Sans fights with his brother and doesn't know what to do with himself. He ends up traveling to the Undertale Universe where he meets the kindhearted Sans and Papyrus._ _UF!Sans has to come to terms with his depression and his newfound feelings for the other skeletons. ((I know this sounds like just another Red goes to a kinder world fic but it is so much more than that. An absolutely devastating story to re-read. You'll see why))_

[The Caged Bird's Song](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6369286/chapters/14588932)-yupimgross

_((FANTASTIC Edgeberry, with a side of Honeymustard. I love this fic so much, it was THE first UnderTale fanfiction I ever read))_

**Shameless Smut (doesn't mean there's not plot, just means the smut is the focus)**

[A HOME IN YOU](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8070613/chapters/18492697)-PantyAnarchist and zeryxis

_((This is honestly the smuttiest fanfiction I have ever read. Seriously, see that "all the daddy kink" tag? It's being very honest. CherryBerry to the max, homies))_

[Dancing With Myself](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6843301)-SoloShikigami

_Underswap Sans has his eyes on his more subdued double and is just looking for some fun. But is Sans too oblivious or is he too focused on someone else? ((ClassicBerry with a Blue that actually acts like an adult. What more could you ask for?))_

[Power Hungry Assholes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6592369)-sweetsinnerchild

_Papyrus is beautiful when he's all fury and spite ((I kind of love this idea of UnderFell. It's fantastic and shamelessly murdery.))_

[Strings and Things](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8664433/chapters/19863373)-GallifreyanChild

___One might think that a world revolving around sex wouldn't exactly sit well with a haphephobic glitch._ _Add a little bit of unsuspected friendship and drunkenness, and they might mesh together better than you'd ever think. ((In case you're wondering where Errotic came from and why it keeps showing up, this is why. I blame you, Galli))_

[Fell's Heat](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8279069/chapters/18966104)-canadian_buckbeaver

___Berry just wants the love and attention of one specific Papyrus, one who meets all his standards. Only problem is that Fell wants nothing to do with the adorable little Berry._ _One day Fell begins acting sweet and kind towards him. Could this be the opening that Berry is looking for? Or is Fell finally turning around? ((Spoiler Alert: Nope. Fuck that guy))_

[UnderTale OneShots](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7362517/chapters/16723015)-CaridwenAngetueur1

_((I wasn't going to put any OSCs in this but Chapter 29 of this one inspired Devoid so... Be very aware of the tags in this one, most of it is just a Kustard shipper's dreamland but there is some very, very triggering content))_

[Make Me Yours](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7835335)-yupimgross

_SwapFell Sans has a plan and he's brought some guests along for the fun. ((This is not kind SF, but it's not...horrible...enough to go in the horrifying category. It's mainly just mean))_

**Horrifying and/or Depressing (probably contains ~~rape~~ smut, check tags)**

[Blue Gets Tortured](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6926257/chapters/15799954)-Vidoxi

_((Yes, this is torture porn. No, I don't care if you think I'm weird for reading it, that's honestly not why I read it. It's really well-written and has an incredibly interesting ending))_

[Goddamn, We Missed the Vein Series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/492898)-Cashtastrophe

_((An uncomfortably honest look at abuse and mental illness and a lot of other things, thanks a lot for that, UnderFell...No but seriously, this is THE most well-written thing I've ever read. Don't read it if you've been abused or have depression or anxiety, it's accurate enough to have set me off in the past))_

[Control](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8222114/chapters/18843998)-idontevenknowugh

_((Just...Just read it. The CherryBerry chapters are getting moved to their own fic and I'll try to remember to link those when that happens but those are the parts you really need to see. I've never hated Blue before in my life until now))_

[Red Light District](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6782854/chapters/15498709) ([series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/460441))-Germandis

_Underfell Sans is forced into sex work. Facing such hardships as tying ties, vengeful dogs, and strange pudding, he struggles through the job, haunted by flashbacks of his traumatic rape at the hands of a former client. ((Yeah. Yeah, I know. Guys, I started reading this and I COULD NOT STOP because they wrote it so well that it felt like to stop reading meant abandoning Red to go through this shit on his own. So well-written, but please be cautious going into it, this made me really sad all the time for like two weeks and I would freak out whenever anyone would try to touch me. It affects you a lot))_

[Just Our Hell Series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/480820)-LucyRed and sammykh

_Chara wants to know exactly what it takes to break that comedian, and just how low he can be brought down. ((Just straight-up depressing, hopeless torture. Great for if you ever feel too happy))_

[Replacements](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7194014/chapters/16327235) ([series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/508959)) -idontevenknowugh

_In an effort to protect his brother from himself Papy decides he needs to go find a replacement to take it out on. ((Horrifyingly beautiful. Definitely contains smut. It's awful, but I've read it three times. I blame it on the fact that I'm a Kustard shipper and I keep hoping things will magically change for the not-awful))_

[Oathbound](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8006245)-0neType

___"At that point, Sans had smiled at him, slow and self-assured. He had the look of a monster with all the right cards in hand, ready for anything the world could throw at him. Gaster felt his soul stutter still in his chest."_ _Gaster is more terrible than he believes he is. Sans, unfortunately, has no idea until it's too late. ((In which Gaster is the creepiest fuck in the world and doesn't even realize it))_

 

These are in no particular order. Don't kinkshame me, I see your kudos on these stories too.

Also...hey...#spon...read my other crap... [Gay As Hell](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8541994) [Devoid](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8279707) [The Undying](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8610283) [The Grass is Always Greener](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372) [Happier](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9096439) [Fic Chains](http://archiveofourown.org/series/627068) [Smut Ahoy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9348767) [Love's a Workout](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9263744) and [Perceptions](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9377471)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If for any reason, you don't want your story on this, let me know and I will take it down.
> 
> What are some of your favorite fanfictions? They don't even have to be UnderTale, my favorite is Twist and Shout.


	52. Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! Yay! 
> 
> To get back in the game I did a sort of... character exploration? Idk I just turned my music up really loud and tried to get into Sans's head. It's not really a story like the others.  
> The other one I wrote during this, the strangest writing session of my life, is a far cry more disturbing and will probably not see the light of day for a little while.

Sans adored music. He loves to turn off all the lights in his house, put on some noise-cancelling headphones, and turn it all the way up. It cancels out the whole world, and leaves him feeling like he's the only thing in the universe.  
There are some songs that just get down to his roots. They come in his ears and go all the way in through his bones and give him shivers up and down his spine. It leaves him wanting more, for the song to never end, for that crackling in his ears from his headphones starting to fail to go away forever and never come back, but it's probably okay because he's got three more pairs upstairs.  
He loves singing, no _screaming_ along to the lyrics in the otherwise quiet darkness. No one can hear him. He can't even hear himself through the sounds he's copying in the first place.  
There just something very relaxing about leaving the world behind completely, and letting himself drift off like this.  
Other songs make him want to get up and move, to jump up and down and spin and kick his feet. But sitting here in the darkness and the pressing emptiness as he is, he can't seem to make himself get up and actually do it. So instead, he imagines it. He imagines exactly how he would step forward once, twice, then rock his hips to one side as he throws his hands in the air. Maybe his fingers even give a little twitch, as though they're imagining the movement, too.  
Then there is the song, that one damn song, that as soon as it comes on, he feels like he's never coming up for air again. It has a memory attached to it, or some sort of special meaning he's never noticed before. This song is different than it was when he did this last week and now, oh, now he never wants it to end. Maybe he even makes the leap and takes his phone out of his pocket, taking a moment to break the darkness by turning on the bright screen and putting the song on repeat. Then he turns his phone off again and, blindly, puts it away, and just lets himself melt into whatever the song brought him back to.  
Music truly is a manifestation of the soul. And Sans's soul is so incredibly full of this music that he sometimes doesn't know what to do with it. He'll be walking down the street and hear the song he listened to alone yesterday and find himself moving towards it almost subconsciously, like an old friend or an ex-lover.  
Papyrus notices sometimes, when they're out and about. He'll notice and he'll comment about Sans's head nodding along to some beat or another. Sans smiles, of course, and offers some bland explanation about it having a good tune. But Papyrus doesn't know. He could never truly understand. No one really can, because those moments when he's alone with the music are just so intensely _his_ that no one could ever possibly understand except him.  
And isn't that the real joke? Not even he can understand. Who would? Who sits on the floor alone and listening to music? Who lets it take over to the point where they don't quite understand where it came from in the first place?  
Is he alright? Maybe not. Almost definitely not. But sometimes...Sitting on the floor, just with himself and his headphones and whatever shitty soundtrack he has picked out for the day, things start to make sense. Things start to come together, in a way that they never seem to otherwise.  
It's not exactly...Peaceful. Not really. Sans's mind is so crowded that it's never peaceful. But it gives an order to things. It takes the messy piles and sorts them halfway, into something he can almost navigate.  
Almost.


	53. Betrayal 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of you knew what was coming.  
> Well here you go.
> 
> The next one will be far more interesting but this chapter was still necessary.

Blue had been stress-cooking since Red came back two hours ago. Stretch sighed lightly and leaned forward to prop his chin in his hands. He could hear the sounds of water running from the kitchen, and he hoped very hard that Blue wasn’t trying to make spaghetti this time. Razz was sitting in the armchair with his arms crossed, pouting like a child and ignoring everyone except for Red. He was sitting on the floor by Razz's feet, the only person the small skeleton was currently not pissed at. 

Fell was pacing back and forth, almost automatically commanding the attention of the entire room. Stretch had always kind of thought he was at his scariest when he was angry, and that would only make sense, but now that he saw Fell when he was scared, he knew he had been wrong before. Fell was absolutely terrifying when he had something he wanted to protect. 

“We can’t leave Razz alone with this asshole running around.” he was saying, for about the fifth or sixth time. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” yelled Razz, throwing his hands up in the air and growling slightly. “I can protect myself!”

“Language!” yelled Blue from the next room, but no one responded. The clanking of pans resumed, and so did the conversation. 

“No one is doubting your amazing prowess, princess,” Stretch said, trying not to let his annoyance leak through into his voice. “You’re just a little emotionally compromised, and it doesn’t seem safe to leave you alone.”

Razz shot to his feet, magic gathering in his eye sockets and fists clenching, but Red almost immediately reached up and pulled him back into the chair. “--not helping your case,” Stretch heard him murmur, and Razz huffed and slumped back, folding his arms again.

“How do we even know he’s coming for Razz?” Red asked, his voice loud enough to be easily heard now. 

“Didn’t you say he wanted a... ‘toy’?” Fell responded, stopping in his pacing for a moment to look down at his brother. 

“I am not a  _ toy _ !” Razz muttered angrily.

Stretch made a face. “I mean, you kind of were, you just didn’t know it.” Razz glared at him like he’d scuffed his boots or something, and Stretch had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Just because he was acting like a babybones didn’t make the situation any less serious.

"He said he wanted a  _ new _ toy, and no offense, Edgelord, but you’re not exactly new." Red said, dodging a swipe from Razz at the nickname and then just settling back against the other’s legs.   
They all thought for a moment in silence at that. The soft humming of the microwave started up from the kitchen, then Blue poked his head in, leaning against the door frame. “I still think we should stick together,” he said carefully. “Especially Razz,”

Razz snorted and threw his hands in the air, but didn’t bother to tell Blue off. Even he couldn’t deny the honest concern that came from the smallest skeleton’s statement.    
Red sighed. "I understand the need to watch both Razz and Boss," The smaller sat up quickly, looking surprised, with angry words on the tip of his tongue, but Red held up a hand for silence. Surprisingly, Razz obeyed, looking down at him curiously.    
"I have no doubts that you can defend yourself perfectly," Red continued, "but it's best that we know immediately if he even tries to attack either of you. But since I'm not convinced that Razz is even the one he's after, maybe Blue’s right, and we should all stick together for now, just to be safe."   
"The question is," said Razz slowly, "if he really is going to get a new...a new... to take one of us, who would it be?"

“Well, we can count out you and Boss, and probably me, since he…” Red seemed to struggle for words for a moment. “He wasn’t too interested in me.”

"Should we call Sans and Papyrus? It could be one of them," asked Stretch, already pulling out his phone to do just that.    
Fell snorted. "Not even Slim is crazy enough to fuck with Sans. He could overpower all of us together without taking his hands out of his pockets, especially if his brother is involved."    
"You should probably text him though. Just so he's prepared," Blue offered from the doorway before ducking back inside as the microwave went off, and Stretch nodded and obeyed, fingers flying across the keys.    
There was a moment of silence, then Red piped up again. "Stretch would be a possibility."

Stretch looked up from his texting, confused for a second before he caught up. “You think he would take me?” he asked quietly, not wanting to worry Blue with the turn the conversation was taking.

Fell nodded slowly. “Yes...the three of us were very good friends, as you know. When Slim and I were…” he paused, glancing at Razz guiltily for a moment. “Well, there were a few times when I thought he was interested in you romantically.”

Slim raised his brow in disbelief. He knew he had a tendency to hit on everything that moved, but  that didn’t mean Slim had…

Okay. Now that he thought about it, maybe Fell had a point. There were suddenly several incidents coming to mind that supported that theory. Slim suddenly showing up unannounced at the Swap brothers’ home. Agreeing to make honey cake with Blue for Stretch’s birthday. Several unlabeled gifts that either came from a Fell world or proved that someone in Swap actually did know what leather could truly be used for.

“You were jealous of Stretch?” Red asked, the amusement in his tone lightening the atmosphere in the room by a considerable degree. 

Fell glared at his brother, who was grinning up at the murderous expression on his face with a sort of cocky glee that Stretch supposed came from years of being a little shit. “There’s also the fact that Stretch is the weakest of us, and would therefore be the easiest to capture.”

Stretch narrowed his eyes. “Having 1HP doesn’t mean I’m weak,” he grumbled before finishing his text and sending it off. 

Fell looked at him carefully. “Yes, you’re certainly correct. 1HP is not the handicap it is made out to be. But Razz, Red, and I all have EXP, Sans is the most powerful being in the multiverse and his brother is under his protection, so you and your brother are the weakest pair. And, seeing as Blue trains every day and has managed to raise his DEF higher than my own, I would say you are the weakest of us. And I would be right.”

Well. Stretch couldn’t argue with that. “What about Blue? DEF doesn’t mean anything if he can overpower him physically, and Blue is the smallest. No amount of training can change that.”

“Yes, but--”

“Where is Blue, by the way?” Razz interrupted suddenly, looking towards the doorway.

Stretch looked at him, confused. “He’s in the kitchen. Didn’t you just see--”

Red shook his head suddenly. “No, he’s not. Listen,” he said urgently, waving a hand for silence again. 

They all quieted, and they could all hear the sound of ticking from the stove clock. 

“I don’t hear anything,” Stretch said after a few seconds, but Razz was already up and crossing the room. 

“Exactly,” said Fell as he passed on his way to follow Razz. Red and Stretch followed a moment later, and Stretch pushed Fell aside so that he could see into the kitchen. 

It was completely empty. Some sort of dough sat on the counter in a bowl, with a few measuring cups surrounding it, the only sign of life being the large amount of flour that had been tracked across the floor, making a trail that lead to the window over the sink.

Blue was gone.    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This couldn't be MORE unrelated to the above fic, but are you guys more Fellcest/Swapcest, CherryBerry/SpicyHoney, or HoneyMustard/Edgeberry? I'm all curious and stuff...


	54. The Alleyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a textpost from Maximum-overboner
> 
> So in the game, Papyrus won't kill you, no matter what. However, he has absolutely no problem defending himself and knocking you down to 1HP. So...yeah. Enjoy?
> 
> Warnings: violence (arms don't bend that way, dude)

Papyrus was always the one to get the groceries nowadays. He didn’t really mind, since he was the one who cooked, it only made sense that he would be the one to pick out the items he needed! It was a bit of a bother, though, that he had to walk so far to get them.  
The only place that carried food to the quality he required for his masterful dishes laid many miles from his home and it was quite a long walk to get there. Not that the Great Papyrus would ever complain! He was very lucky to have the ability to walk, there were many others that did not even have legs!  
Besides, it wasn’t so much the length of the walk as it was the places he had to pass. There was one place in particular that always made Papyrus wish he had his brother’s teleporting power. He would have loved to skip right past the frankly creepy alleyway on fourth street.  
Not that he didn’t like the alleyway. He was sure it was very nice! But he just didn’t get the best feeling when he walked past.  
Today was grocery-shopping day, and he found himself hesitating at the end of the road, as usual. He really didn’t want to walk past it.  
What was wrong with him? He was the Great Papyrus! He had nothing to fear! Epecially not from something as simple as a dark alley! He steeled himself and took a cautious step forward. Then another. Then another and another andanotherandanotherandanother and before he was entirely aware, Papyrus was sprinting past the alley at full tilt. It was only once he could no longer even see it in the distance that he finally stopped, leaning over and chest heaving as he caught his breath.  
He had done it! Oh, of course he had, he was very great, after all! Why had he ever even doubted--  
Papyrus was jerked out of his thoughts very suddenly by a human emerging from around the corner ahead of him. They were up in his face almost immediately, brandishing a knife and with their mouth fixed in a snarl.  
“Give me your wallet and your watch and anything else you've got, you skeleton asshole,” the human growled threateningly, pushing him slightly so his back ran into the wall behind him.  
Papyrus frowned and straightened up to his normal height of almost nine feet. Why did this human have a knife? This seemed like a very peculiar way to make friends.  
“I AM SORRY, HUMAN, BUT I CANNOT GIVE YOU MY THINGS! I NEED THIS MONEY TO PURCHASE GROCERIES TO FEED MY LAZY BROTHER!” he said kindly. If the human needed money, he was sure something could be arranged! He had heard about several wonderful programs throughout the city which he knew helped those in need. He had just opened his mouth to say so when the human stumbled back a few steps, staring up at him with a very strange expression on their face. “Oh my god…” they said. “How fucking tall do they grow you freaks?”  
Papyrus frowned. “I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD PLEASE WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE, HUMAN!” he said, reaching to take the knife from their hand. “AND PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THAT, IT COULD BE--”  
The human seemed to panic suddenly and did something very peculiar. Papyrus looked down in confusion at where they were stabbing the knife against where his clothes hung off of his ribs. He was wearing a large, fluffy sweater given to him by King Asgore’s clone. He really liked this sweater, and if the human kept doing that, they were going to tear a hole in it!  
“HUMAN, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP? I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU ARE TRYING TO STAB--” suddenly he realized, and he frowned more deeply. “HUMAN, IF YOU ARE TRYING TO INITIATE A FIGHT, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I AM A SKELETON, AND I HAVE NO STOMACH. ARE YOU TRYING TO FIGHT ME?”  
The human backed away slightly, and they looked angry. “Yeah, I’m trying to fucking fight you. Give me your goddamn wallet!”  
Papyrus narrowed his eyes slightly. “WELL, ALRIGHT THEN! PREPARE TO FIGHT THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”  
Then he reached out and grasped the human by the wrist, pulling their arm out tightly and snapping his other hand up to hit their elbow. With a somewhat sickening crunch, the arm bent the wrong way. The human just stared at it for a split second, then they dropped the knife and screamed. Papyrus immediately took advantage of their distraction and swept a leg out, taking their legs out from under them and making them land flat on their back, still crying out loudly.  
Then he drew back, observing them for a few moments and making sure that they were well and truly down. Upon making sure of that, he bent over and scooped the human into his arms, carrying them carefully in the direction of the nearest hospital.  
“No, no! Put me down! What are you going to do to me?” The human sobbed, cradling their broken arm close to their chest.  
Papyrus kept walking, sparing them a pitying glance. “I AM TAKING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL, HUMAN! IT WOULD BE NO GOOD TO LEAVE YOU LYING IN THE STREET AFTER HAVING BEEN BESTED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”  
“What the hell is wrong with you?”  
“WELL THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT PERFECT BUT HIS FLAWS ARE CERTAINLY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN, SO I CANNOT THINK OF ANY RIGHT NOW. AFTER WE HAVE GONE TO THE HOSPITAL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACCOMPANY ME TO MY HOME TO PARTAKE IN MY WORLD-FAMOUS SPAGHETTI?”  
“Only if it has a buttload of Valium in it.”  
“I DO NOT KNOW WHO THAT IS BUT IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO JOIN US, SHE IS MORE THAN WELCOME!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, actually writing something UT Paps-centric. This was so much harder than it should have been. Who is your favorite Papyrus? Mine is Fell, because he's an asshole (like me)
> 
> Lmao I don't think I can write this in fanfiction but hey, new headcanon, Blue drives like [this](http://mindthepup.tumblr.com/post/138452038765/ijustneedtoberichalready-brianszs-legit-me)  
> Alternatively, Fell drives like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvC_0foemLY)  
> 


	55. Imagine Your OTP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Series that's just different things taken from "Imagine your OTP" scenarios on Tumblr. I'll try to say who came up with the prompt, but the information isn't always available. I thought about making this its own thing, but hey, I might as well just post _absolutely everything_ I write in the same place, right?
> 
> Make sure you read the prompts, too. Both of them contain the punchline.

1-CherryBlossom

Papyrus walked along the sidewalk happily, taking pictures of everything he saw. Sans was still back at the hotel, the lazybones. Who puts in all the effort to take a vacation and then just sits in the hotel doing nothing?

He caught sight of a brand-new building and hurried towards it excitedly, intending to take more pictures of this magnificent city. 

Suddenly, he was brought up short by a hand gripping his elbow, and he turned to see a much smaller skeleton standing beside him. He wore a leather jacket with a fluffy hood, basketball shorts, and he was heavily scarred. He had a gold tooth that glinted in the sunlight as he smiled widely up at Papyrus.

“Where you goin’, handsome?” the smaller asked.

Papyrus blushed. Was this monster trying to initiate a dalliance? “I am being a ‘tourist’!” he told him excitedly, very proud of his temporary status. 

The other’s eyes flicked down to his flowery shirt and fanny pack before coming back up to meet his eyes. “You don’t say,” he said.

“What is your name?” Papyrus asked. Maybe they could be friends! “I am the Great Papyrus!”

“Hmm…” hummed the skeleton delicately, then reached up, grasping him by the scarf and pulling his head down so he was at eye level. “You can call me Red, sweetheart.”

Then the stranger tugged him closer, and suddenly, they were kissing! Papyrus would have gasped if he wasn’t otherwise occupied by the appendage currently trying to gain access to his mouth. He could feel one of Red’s hands on the back of his head, holding him there, and the other was brushing across his hip, sending shivers down his spine and causing him to make a strange, almost strangled-sounding noise into the other’s mouth.

Then, as suddenly as it had started, it was over, and Red had pulled away, winking at him. “Well, it was nice meeting you, ‘The Great Papyrus’!” 

Before Papyrus could even catch his breath, he was gone.

  
The Prompt Was: “Kissed them as a distraction while stealing their wallet AU” -aerynlallaboso

 

 

2-Edgeberry

Blue crinkled his brow, staring down at the sheets of paper in front of him. He made a quick note, filling in one of the several columns. Budgeting was a long and arduous (and boring) process, but it was very important! 

He was just shifting another number to a different row when his phone started to ring, vibrating in his pocket and his favorite song filling the air. 

He pulled it out of his pocket distractedly, glancing down at the caller ID. Then his face lit up in a huge smile and he immediately hit Accept, raising the phone to his ear and saying, "Hi Fell!"

"Hey, Blue. What are you up to?"

Blue dropped his pen so he could properly hold his chin in his hand, smiling happily as the other's voice filled his head. "I'm just working out this month's budget. What about you?"

"Oh...It doesn't matter. Not a whole lot, really." Fell's voice sounded odd, and Blue frowned for a moment before shrugging. Everyone's voice sounded weird on the phone. "Was there a reason you called?" he asked. 

"Do I need a reason to want to talk to my amazing fiancee?"

Blue blushed slightly, and his feet started kicking back and forth subconsciously. "No, I guess not," he said bashfully. 

"Tell me about your day so far."

Excited to share, Blue launched into a play-by-play of his training earlier that day. Fell asked questions at the appropriate places, wanting to know how he had improved and what Alphys had said in regards to his magic control. 

After a few minutes, Fell stopped him, and said, "I am so incredibly proud of you, Blue."

Blue smiled softly, holding the phone as close to his face as he physically could. "Thank you, Fell."

"I'm serious. You are truly magnificent. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

Blue was about to reply when Fell suddenly launched into a fit of coughing. Blue listened, worried, and when he finally stopped, he asked, "Fell, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Hey Blue?"

He wasn't convinced, but he know how incredibly stubborn Fell was, so he just sighed and said, "Yes?"

"I love you. I love you so, so much. You are my...my whole world," Fell said, and his voice broke on the last word. 

Blue stood slowly, his entire attention on the voice on the other end. "Fell, what's wrong?"

"It's okay...It's okay. Don't worry. I just...I needed to hear your voice."

"Fell..."

"I love you so much."

There was a long silence, filled only with ragged breathing on Fell's end. Then Blue, only able to find it in himself to whisper, said, "Of course I love you too. Please tell me what's wrong?"

"Hey..I uh...I have to go. Good...Goodbye, B-Blue."

And before he could do anything else, the call ended, the phone going entirely silent in his hand. 

 

The Prompt Was: “Person B knowing they’re undoubtedly going to die within the next few seconds, likely from the gaping wound they’re bleeding out from. Instead of calling for help, they phone Person A and carry on a casual conversation as if nothing is wrong, making sure to mention how much they love them before their time runs out.” -otpdisaster


	56. OT3 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written. And that's saying a lot. 
> 
> I blame SoloShikigami and their new Drabble with the SansT3. It made me entirely too happy. (How _dare_ you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS THIS HIT 10,000 HITS AND I MISSED IT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!  
> In other news, there are over ten thousand people that are just as lame as I am so hey, look at that xD

Red was humming again. He didn’t ever realize he was doing it, something that became very obvious from his reaction to it being pointed out. Blue smiled softly as he stirred the pot of soup on the stove. 

“Do you think we should add some milk to that? To make it creamier and all that?”

Blue turned to see Red holding up a carton of the stuff. Lately, the edgier skeleton had taken to helping Blue in the kitchen. He was learning quickly, and he had actually made a few meals completely by himself at this point. That didn’t mean that he didn’t still have a lot to learn, but Blue was still very proud of him. 

In answer, Blue shook his head and said, “No, milk isn’t good for an upset stomach,”

Red frowned at him in confusion. “But we don’t even have stomachs. And isn’t milk supposed to be really good for skeletons or something?”

“Yes, in a normal situation. And it’s the taste, actually. You know Sans doesn’t like milk in the first place, there’s no reason to ruin his food with it.”

Red smirked and put the milk back in the fridge. “Wow, so you admit that milk ruins foods?”

Blue just rolled his eyes and focused back on the pot. “I think this is just about done. Can you grab me a bowl?”

A few minutes later, Blue was walking carefully upstairs with Red on his heels, a warm bowl of tomato soup held carefully in his hands. When they reached their bedroom door, Red stepped around Blue and pulled the door open for him.

Blue smiled his thanks and called out, “I’m turning on the lights, love!” before doing so. 

There was a loud groan from the direction of the bed, and Sans picked up one of the other pillows and pressed it to his face. He mumbled something loudly, and Red snorted as he closed the door behind them. As Blue pulled up the chair they kept in the room, Red climbed into the bed. After some convincing and prodding, he managed to convince Sans to sit up so that he could pull him into his lap. 

Blue scooped up a spoonful of soup and held it towards Sans, who tried to reach to take the spoon from him before Red smacked his hand away. “Let us take care of you, asshole,” Blue heard him murmur.

Sans heaved a sigh, then opened his mouth, allowing Blue to put the spoon inside. Red wrapped his arms around the bottom of Sans’s ribcage and settled his chin on the other’s shoulder. Blue smiled at the two of them, his eyelights flashing into hearts for a split second before he got ahold of himself again. He got another spoonful and held it out again, and they managed to make it through half of the bowl before Sans finally shook his head, waving off the next bite. 

“I’m not feeling too good right now,” he mumbled, his eyes falling to half-mast. Red nodded and maneuvered them so that Sans was laying down again. Blue carefully set the soup down on the bedside table before climbing up next to the others. 

Sans winced. “Please, no surprise cuddles, sweetheart. I’m really not feeling up to it.”

Blue giggled as he curled up next to them, laying his head carefully on Sans’s chest and tangling their legs together. “Does it still count as a surprise cuddle if I warn you first?”

Sans chuckled weakly before groaning again. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so much like shit.”

Red snorted, and Blue could hear him shifting around. A moment later, his hand took hold of Blue’s, and pulled it closer to him. “I don’t think you’ve ever looked quite so much like shit, either, Sansy.”

“Blue, can you smack him for me?”

Red let out a loud laugh as Blue pulled his hand away and tried to obey, missing by mere inches as Red launched himself backwards and away from his waving hand. Suddenly, Red’s eyes flew wide, and then he disappeared. Blue thought for a moment that he had teleported away until he heard a prolonged wheezing sound coming from beside the bed, out of his sight. 

Blue frowned and sat up, Sans pulling himself up using his shoulder. “Red, are you okay?” Sans asked, looking slightly concerned. 

The wheezing continued, and became interspersed with the occasional snort. Blue looked at Sans, only to have him looking back, equally confused. Then, they both put the pieces together at the same time, and a grin lit up Blue’s face. 

Red was  _ laughing _ .

Neither of them had ever heard Red laugh like that before, and Blue was happy to see Sans’s entire countenance light up. It was easily the happiest sound they’d heard in a long time, and it seemed to be doing Sans a world of good. 

“Should I help him?” Blue asked quietly. 

“Nah, leave him to suffer,” Sans replied with a wide grin across his face. He lowered himself back into the bed, wincing slightly, probably as his soul gave another lurch. 

“Hey--hey, I heard--that,” Red coughed out, still caught up in his laughing fit. Blue grinned as he started to lay back down before having a thought. 

He grinned and leaned forward over Sans, who now had his eyes closed, and planted a kiss on his mouth. 

Sans’s eyes flew open, meeting Blue’s now unabashedly heart-shaped ones. He seemed to fumble for words for a moment, and Blue kissed him again before laying down and cuddling back up to him. 

“Blue, you’re gonna get sick doing that,” Sans finally said just as Red finally got ahold of himself and climbed back up. 

“Doing what?” Red asked, pausing in his motions. 

“He’s kissing me, he’s gonna--”

“Hey!” Red protested, mock-glaring at Blue, who just grinned back impishly. Red cocked one brow, then leaned over and kissed Sans harder than Blue had. “There. Balance had been restored,” he said, throwing himself back into the sheets and maneuvering his arm under Sans’s shoulder blades. 

Sans huffed, but a dark blush was starting to cross his face. “You two are so--”

“Devastatingly handsome?” offered Blue, causing Red to break out into laughter again. 

Sans grinned, shaking his head slightly, then leaned his head into Red’s neck and wrapped an arm around Blue, holding him almost too close. “I love you both so goddamn much,” he whispered, closing his eyes. 

Blue watched him affectionately. The dish needed to be taken down to be washed, Sans needed to sleep, Red probably was skipping work (just like Blue), but right now it didn’t feel like it mattered. 

This was where he needed to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you that know what's up, hint vaguely at it to mess with the people that don't xD
> 
> Also, I went back and deleted the comments that had the spoilers in it. Please don't be insulted, I just want it to be a surprise for the people I didn't spoil it for!


	57. Sadism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This...Is some pretty fucked up shit, guys.  
> Seriously, WARNINGS: Abuse, blatant sadism and creepiness, sans is so much more of an asshole than usual.  
> I don't know what dark part of my mind I pulled this shit from but I don't think I ever want to go there again...
> 
> ...BadBrotherFell? AU? I think it kinda fits, honestly

There is just something beautiful about causing pain. Something that makes Sans want to rip every monster in the underground limb from limb just to hear their screams. Something that makes him want to hear the sobs, the begging, the desperation for mercy.  
He loves it when they start to cry. Their pleas don't fall on deaf ears, no, that's definitely not the problem. The problem, at least for them, is the very fact that he _can_ hear them. And by Asgore, he never wants it to stop.  
He takes pleasure in wringing every noise he can from them, and when they can no longer talk, their bodies do the pleading for them, in the drip of their blood and the crack of their souls before mercy is finally granted and they turn to dust.  
Yes, Sans loves to cause pain. But he never loves it more than when he can cause pain to Papyrus.  
Perhaps it's the feeling of breaking those bones that he remembers being so perfect when they were children. Maybe it's the way he tries so hard to never make a sound, as though he knows _exactly_ what Sans wants and the only rebellion he has left is to deny him that one small thing. If only he knew that the struggle only made the sounds sweeter when they eventually came. They always came. Sans made sure of it.  
Or maybe it's the way that Sans can always break Papyrus in so many more ways than he can with anyone else.  
Other monsters have flesh to tear through, scales to peel off one by one, eyes to gouge out and teeth to remove. But the only monster whose heart Sans can break so completely is Papyrus's. Even a closed-fist punch to the face in a momentary drunken fit of anger brings so much more satisfaction than _hours_  of torture to a monster Sans doesn't know, because Paps always gets this betrayed look on his face like Sans is tearing him apart, even if his body remains whole, which, honestly, it rarely does.   
Sans wants nothing more than to hold his brother down and break his fingers, or snap his fibulae, or see exactly how much strain his cervical vertabrae can take. But he has to be careful. If Papyrus dusts, what will be left?  
It's not that Sans _loves_  his brother, he's not really even sure what that word means, it's more that he would miss him. He would miss the look on his face when Sans tells him how worthless he is. He would miss the begging to _please stop_. He would miss the absolute control, the power that comes from playing with his little brother.  
Undyne commented, once, on the scars that litter Papyrus's ribs. She'd asked where he'd gotten them and he'd responded with a sad smile and told her a well-rehearsed story of an unkind father, just like Sans had taught him to. Undyne had always been too curious for her own good, and he was very glad he had prepared for the eventuality that she would notice the results of his enthusiasm.  
Later, Sans rewarded Papyrus by only carving three holes in his sternum instead of twelve like he wanted to. When Papyrus thanked him for his generosity, there were tears streaming down his face. Sans had never seen anything quite so beautiful.  
Papyrus truly was beautiful, in his own lanky sort of way. He was so tall and strong that he would have intimidated even Sans if he didn't know any better. He was probably stronger than him, even, but Sans never gave him a chance to realize that. And, best of all, he was so full of kindness. He loved the world, and all the people in it. Sans loved destroying that.  
The only time when Papyrus's empathy failed him was when Sans brought home new toys. When that happened, there was always a flash of relief, of happiness that someone else would be hurting and it wouldn't be him. It was, of course, always followed by guilt, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the proof that Sans had broken him so completely that the monster who once would have granted mercy to his own murderer found any degree of happiness in someone else's pain.  
It almost made Sans curious to see what it would take to make Papyrus want to cause that pain, too.  
But no, the majority of Papyrus's beauty came from his misplaced hope in the world. Sans, as much as he wanted to break his brother, didn't want to lose that.  
That would just be no fun at all. 


	58. Roommate Bros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So SansyFresh and I have a [thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9397871) and this was the first thing I ever wrote for it. Yes, I went back and changed the chapter summary, the old one was from before we'd ever done anything with it before and now there's like...38 chapters I think?
> 
> The idea was a brotp between Lust and Fell, "them as roommates on the surface, because no one else wanted to room with them. And everyone assume it would be a disaster but it turned out they were already friends"

“What the hell is this?”

Lust didn’t even look up from the TV. “It’s a dog.”

Fell sighed deeply, shrugging off his coat and hanging it in the closet. “Lust, that is not a dog. It is a cat.”

Lust looked affronted, finally muting the sad excuse for television he was currently watching. “It is too a dog! Look, it even has floppy ears!”

Fell looked at him with the look he usually reserved for his brother when he was being particularly trying. “Lust, you can’t stick a cat in a halloween costume and call it a dog.”

“It is a dog!”

“Oh my fucking--” Fell threw his hands into the air and stalked into the bathroom, shutting the door carefully behind him. As fed up as he was with his roommate’s newest assholery, he didn’t want a repeat of what had happened to the bathroom door in UnderFell. Somehow, he thought it was probably even worse to not have a door when Lust was around than it had been with Red. 

The sounds of the television being unmuted filtered in from the living room, and Fell rubbed his eye sockets, sighing slightly. Today had really been a long day.

Ever since moving in with Lust, life had been, to say the least, interesting. Their friends had taken to suggesting several different solutions for them to even survive this new rooming arrangement, and the most doable solution (other than Sans’s suggestion that they “do it”, as he so eloquently put it) had been to get a pet. Classic Papyrus had insisted that taking care of a pet together was one of the simplest ways to bring two people together! 

So they had planned to go to the pet store and pick something out, the first outing they'd ever had as roommates! Fell, despite himself, had been quite excited, and he really liked the idea of getting a dog! A big, tough, black dog that could tear apart his enemies with ease. Not to mention, it would match Lust’s outfits, and Fell couldn't imagine he would have any more of an opinion than that. 

Then, of  _ fucking _ course, Fell had received a call just as they were walking out the door to come into work. Lust had insisted that he could take care of it, and Fell, in his state of stress and disappointment, actually went with it. 

Honestly, this was his own fault. 

Fell opened the door and went back out into the living room, flopping down on the couch next to Lust. He regarded their new pet with doubt as his roommate continued to ignore him. It was probably the most overweight animal he had ever laid eyes on. It was currently curled around it’s own stomach, looking entirely comfortable in the god-awful halloween costume it was currently dressed in.

Fell thought he was long since past questioning where Lust found some of the things he had found. After the dick-shaped cookie cutters and the collection of flavored lubes that lined the display shelves in his bedroom, Fell didn't think he had it in him to be shocked by anything. 

But for fuck's sake, where did he manage to find a dog costume for a  _ cat _ ? And how in the multiverse did he manage to find a black dog costume with red eyes and a fierce snarl? It was like he took great pleasure in mocking him.

Well, now that he thought about it, that might actually be true. 

Fell glared down at the animal snoozing on the sofa. 

Cats were supposed to be fierce creatures, weren’t they? Images of the tigers he had seen on that “Animal Earth” show or whatever it was called flashed through his mind, and he looked doubtfully at the snoring creature on his couch. 

Well. In any case, with Fell there to help it along, even the most lazy of creatures could become fierce! Forcefully pushing all thoughts of his brother out of his head, he reached out and scooped up the feline, placing it in his lap and petting what little fur he could reach around the costume. 

Holy fuck...that was soft. Fell tried to swallow the pleased noises that were threatening to make their way out of his throat as the cat snuggled in closer to him and started purring. 

“Fine,” he said suddenly, making Lust jump slightly and mute the TV again. “I suppose I can accept this.”

Lust raised a brow. “Accept what?”

“This cat--”

“You mean dog?”

“Shut the fuck up. This cat is acceptable. I will name him DOOMFANGER!” Fell exclaimed, standing suddenly and holding the cat out in front of him. “THE BEAST WITH THE DEADLY--ow!”

Lust summoned another small bone attack and tossed it at him, making him drop the cat. It was only when Fell turned to look at him that he realized that Lust was holding in his laughter so hard that his entire face was purple. “I don’t think dogs like to be held like that.” 

Fell huffed at him, but before he could say anything, Lust continued. “Besides, I already named him!”

“By fucking Asgore, Lust, if you named our goddamn cat after your vibrator…”

Lust snorted, then said, “Well if we had a cat, maybe I would have named it after Lil’ Lust, but since we have a dog, I named it Spot!”

There was a long moment of silence, interspersed only with the sound of the cat’s constant purring. Finally, Fell gathered himself enough to say, "There isn't a single spot on this animal." 

"What can I say, it's a classic dog name." 

"IT’S NOT A FUCKING DOG!"

Lust just shook his head before reaching into the sofa behind his butt and pulling Fell’s eyeglass case from between the cushions. He flipped open the case and pulled them out, unfolding them and placing them on his own face before tossing the case at Fell. “Dude, I think you need to get your prescription updated, that is clearly a dog.”

“Yeah, well, I think you're off your meds again, but I wasn't going to say anything,” Fell grumbled, catching the case neatly before leaning forward and snatching the glasses from the other’s face. “Those are mine. Keep your dirty hands off.”

“Oh, you think my hands are dirty now…”

Fell flipped him off and sat back down, sticking his glasses in his pocket and folding his arms tightly. A moment later, the cat jumped back onto the couch, curling a few times before settling down in between them. 

There was no way that costume could be comfortable, could it? Fell glanced at Lust. He'd had his fun, right?

Fell carefully grabbed the cat pulling it onto his lap. The thing started purring again, and made no effort to move whatsoever. It reminded Fell a lot of someone he knew. Well, several someones he knew. 

He searched for the zipper, and, upon finding a row of Velcro instead, he removed the body of the costume and pulled it off of the poor thing's head. 

Instead of being grateful, the cat just rolled over and went back to sleep. Typical. 

They all sat quietly for a moment, then Lust jumped far more dramatically than any surprise had ever warranted, throwing one arm across his forehead. “Stars! Where did the dog go?” he asked loudly, and Fell rolled his eyes. 

“I don't know, jackass, why did you buy a cat?”

“That's a cat?!”

“I will fucking end you.”

“...The people at the pet store lied to me.” 


	59. BlueFell 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He made his way up the stairs, letting himself out of the basement and locking the door behind him before walking calmly to the front door._   
>  _Even if someone saw him, he was easily recognizable in his bright blue clothes, and no one would dare to touch him. Not after last time._
> 
>  
> 
> I really like this idea, not gonna lie

"Are you sure about this, Boss?" Red asked, even as he shrugged on his coat.    
  
"Of course I am sure about this, Sans. If we don't want him to get killed, we need to make sure that people know who he belongs to."   
  
Red huffed slightly, then turned to his smaller alternate, holding out his hand. When Blue reached out to take the proffered hand, his fingers shook, and Red frowned slightly in concern before pulling him close and planting a quick kiss on his forehead. "Are you okay, Blue?"

  
Blue hesitated for a moment before nodding, then buried his face in Red's chest and took a few deep breaths. The brothers shared a concerned look, then Fell stepped forward, gently pulling the smallest away from Red's ribs and kneeling down to his eye level. "Blue, we do not have to do this until you are ready for it. The last thing we want to do is see you hurt or afraid."

  
Blue smiled softly at the two of them, but it was shaky, and they continued to look at him in concern. “It’s alright, really. If we don’t do this I could end up hurt worse in the future,” he said carefully. His logic was irrefutable, but Fell still looked worried. “It’s okay, guys! We should hurry and do it if we’re going to do it!” Blue said, and his smile grew as he looked between them. 

 

Red sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, then said, “Alright, if we’re going to do this, we should make sure we all know the plan.”

 

Blue sighed, somewhat petulantly, and said, “We’ve been over it a million times!”

 

Red cocked a brow at him. “Then I guess we’re gonna go over it a million and one, aren’t we?”

 

Blue grumbled, then seemed to accept his fate and began, “Red’s gonna go to Grillby’s, and act normally, but he's going to be watching out. Then I’m going to walk out of the house and down the street on the way there. Fell is going to follow me so no one can see him, and then…” He swallowed, letting his eyes close for a moment, before continuing. “We’re going to wait until someone tries to hurt me and then Fell’s going to hurt them. Then...Uh...Red’s going to come out and he's going to display his...his subservience? Is that what you called it?"

 

Red nodded encouragingly, and Fell reached out with the intent to smack him, but Red grabbed his wrist before he could. He planted a kiss on his palm before returning the hand and turning back to Blue. “What else?”

 

“Then I’m going to bow?”

 

Red nodded. “Yep. Okay, I'm going to take off. And Blue-”

 

Fell cut him off, finishing his sentence for him. “We will be right there, protecting you, the whole time. You will never be in any danger.”

 

Blue nodded, still looking nervous. Red stepped forward, hugging him quickly before stepping back and disappearing into thin air. 

 

“Are you ready?” Fell asked, holding a hand out to the smaller skeleton. Blue nodded and took it, and Fell led him to the front door, opening it and looking outside carefully before stepping aside for Blue to pass. Blue walked out the door, attempting to hold his head high as he'd been told, remembering what they'd said about confidence inspiring conflict. 

 

As he approached town square, he made eye contact with every monster he passed, smiling at everyone and walking as happily as he could manage, what with the fear pulsing through his soul. 

 

He continued walking, and the monsters he saw looked at him incredulously, probably wondering how someone who looked so happy could be doing something so suicidal. Blue could see how much he stood out in this place. He’d suggested borrowing some of Red’s smaller clothes so he’d blend in better, but Fell had quickly vetoed that idea. “People need to recognize you,” he’d said. “There's a reason I don't leave the house without my armor and Red doesn't go anywhere without that awful fucking excuse for clothing he calls a jacket.” 

 

Red had shoved his hands in his pockets and winked at his brother before saying, “Aw, come on, Boss. You know how much you like me in leather.” In response, Fell had stomped off into the kitchen, grumbling under his breath. 

 

Blue smiled at the memory, letting himself get distracted from his surroundings for a split second. He was yanked back to reality, however, by a hand on his shoulder. 

 

He jumped, turning to face the monster that was touching him. It was one of the dogs. He thought he vaguely recognized them from his world, but he had never seen them before without their mate. He found himself wondering where the other could be, before the dog started to speak. 

 

“The fuck you doin’, little blue bitch?”

 

Blue's nose scrunched up at the language, but he forced himself to ignore it and replied, as brightly as he could, “Well that's not a very nice thing to say!”

 

The dog started laughing, lowering the hand on Blue’s shoulder to wrap around his upper arm. “Who ever said I was nice?”

 

Blue tried to steady his breathing, glaring up at the other and trying to pull his arm away. “Let go of me,” he insisted, trying not to let his fear slip through. “Let go of me!” he repeated, more loudly this time as he remembered that he needed to draw a crowd before Fell could interfere. 

 

“Nah, blue bitch, I don't think I will. You're pretty…” the dog leaned closer, sniffing along Blue’s neck, “...Pretty cute, y’know that?”

 

Blue spluttered, trying to pull away again and failing, feeling him trying to pull him closer. “Don't touch me!” Blue yelled, trying not to let himself fall into full panic mode, trying to remember that Fell was right there, he would step in, he wouldn't let him get hurt.

 

The dog chuckled, easily ignoring Blue’s struggles and leaning down, capturing the small chin in one hand and licking a solid stripe up the center of his face. “You taste as delicious as you look, blue bi--”

 

He was cut off with a yelp as a bone construct flew in out of nowhere, hitting him solidly in the side of his face. Blue looked up, feeling tears start to slip down his face at the sight of Fell storming in their direction. His eyes were lit up with red magic, and he had summoned a sharpened bone that was bigger than Blue himself. The very air crackled around him with the force of his anger as he reached out with his magic, turning the dog’s soul blue and throwing him to the ground with enough force to drive the breath out of him. In the same moment, Red appeared at Blue’s side, neatly detaching him from the dog so he didn't get pulled into the battle. Blue turned and buried his face into the fur lining of Red’s hood, trying not to sob. 

 

“Who in the  _ fuck _ do you think you are, touching  _ my _ property?” he heard Fell growl, and he turned turned to look, taking in the sight of one of the skeletons he’d grown to love so much seething with anger, the tip of his bone sword pressed to the dog’s neck. 

 

The monster on the ground was snarling, trying to roll to his feet but not succeeding in moving more than a few centimeters in any direction. “How the fuck was I supposed to know he belonged to you, Captain?” he growled, narrowing his eyes. 

 

In answer, Fell flicked his chin at the other two, and Red quickly pulled Blue’s bandana to the side to reveal the dainty blue collar around his neck. The dog’s pupils shrunk into pinpricks and he quickly looked back up at Papyrus, shaking his head. “Your pet was keeping it hidden under that shitty little scarf! How the hell was I supposed to know?”

 

“Maybe you should have fucking checked before before you put your hands all over him!” Fell growled, pressing the bone harder into his throat. 

 

“He didnt tell me he was your property, hell, maybe the little bitch  _ wanted _ someone to come along and--”

 

There was a scream of rage, and Red seized Blue by the side of his face and pulled him back into his chest, blocking the view of what was happening beside them. There was a thump, followed by a strangled grunt and the sound of a soul being shattered, and Blue started to cry again, holding as tightly to Red as he could manage. 

 

A moment later, Blue could hear Fell’s footsteps approaching, then his voice, slightly louder than the murmur of the crowd. “Take us home, Sans.”

 

"Yes, Boss," Red murmured, and a moment later, there was nothing but silence and the sound of Blue’s sobs, Red rubbing his back gently as Fell stood beside them in the living room, seeming unsure about what to do. “Go change,” Red said quietly, gesturing with his chin up at Fell’s room. Fell looked unsure for a moment, torn between attempting to comfort Blue and obeying his brother. Red glared at him pointedly for a moment, and Fell sighed, turning and walking up the stairs.

 

“Hey, sweetheart, deep breaths,” Red soothed, kissing Blue on the side of his head. Blue tried to do so, his chest moving in tandem with his alternate’s, and his broken sobs quieting somewhat. 

 

“C-can I...D-do you..Do you have anything that I can wash my face with?” he finally asked, and Red nodded before realizing the other still couldn't see him. 

 

“Yeah, of course. C’mere,” he said gently, pulling away to lead Blue into the kitchen. He grabbed him by the hips and lifted him to sit on the counter, then grabbed one of the towels, wetting it down before handing it to Blue. 

 

The smaller sniffled slightly, then buried his whole face in the rag, rubbing at the place where he could still feel the dog’s tongue against his bone. He scrubbed his whole face until it hurt, and Red stood silently, watching him. Finally, his hands dropped into his lap, and Red took the rag from him before returning and picking him back up, carrying him into the living room and sitting on the couch, arranging the small skeleton so he was curled comfortably in his lap. 

 

“Did Fell kill him?”

 

Red looked down in response to the small voice, trying not to grimace at the question. “Yeah. Fucker deserved it though,” he said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. He heard Fell descending the stairs quietly behind them, and turned to look, but Blue kept talking, apparently not having noticed anything. 

 

“No one deserves to die, anyone can get better!” he said vehemently, and Fell froze, staring down at them. Red didn't know how to react, looking between his brother and his alternate. Blue continued, “Everyone deserves a second chance, you know?”

 

Red looked down at him carefully. “You knew we had LV when you first met us, Blue. You knew what you were getting into.”   

 

Blue sat up, hands up placatingly. “No, I know! I'm sorry, Red. I know that...that he did it because he loves me, you know? I heard what that dog was saying and it...It made me mad too.”

 

Fell looked unsure, beginning to descend the steps and approach the back of the couch. 

 

Blue continued, not noticing the larger skeleton coming closer. “I think that...Everyone has things they need to work on, and if this is yours, then I'm not going to make you feel bad about it. I love you guys so much, and I don't ever want you to feel like I don't.”

 

Red looked down at him before turning around and locking eyes with his brother, who was a few feet behind him. He'd done a good job of clearing the dust away, and he had an expression in his face Red had never seen before. Blue followed his gaze, straightening up a little until he could see Fell. His gaze softened, and he sat up all the way, gesturing for the other to come sit on the couch. Fell obeyed, and Blue wiggled off of Red’s lap and into the space between them, pulling them close and closing his eyes. The brothers looked down at him, wonder crossing their faces at their luck in having found him, in having somehow convinced him they were worth his attention. 

 

“I love the both of you so much, and I'm glad you want to protect me,” he began before cracking one eye open and looking at each of them in turn. “But let's never do anything like that again.”

 

Red snorted and Fell smiled, both nodding in agreement. “Love you, too Blue,” Red murmured, and Fell elected to just lean over and plant a small kiss on the side of his head. 

 

Blue snuggled deeper into the couch and into his partners, letting his eyes fall closed again as they held him. He could feel their chests moving, lulling him to sleep, trusting them to protect him in this violent world. 

  
Maybe he could make it just a little bit better. 


	60. OT3 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look, the big reveal!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/CrushingOnSans) [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/crushingonsans)
> 
> The best way to contact me is by email! crushingonsans@gmail.com

Sans!”

Sans huffed slightly and lowered the front of his shirt, trying to breathe evenly and failing miserably. Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it what the fuck?

“Yeah?” he responded, trying not to let the panic in his mind seep into his voice. 

“What the fuck is...cumin? Am I even sayin’ that right? C-U-M-I-N?”

He groaned aloud and turned around, unlocking the bathroom door and pushing it open slightly. “It’s like a spice I think! Check the spice drawer?” Wow. That was sarcastic. He tried to rein himself in a little bit.

There was a long pause, then Red yelled back, “Where the hell is the spice drawer?!”

Fuckin…

He stepped out of the bathroom, leaning over the railing to shout back, “Well how the hell am I supposed to know, just look in the--” He was cut off by the sight of Blue standing in the doorway, looking confused and with his clothes completely soaked. “Blue! You’re home!” he said, barely having to force a smile onto his face. It was a lot easier to be nice to someone you hadn’t been stuck inside with the whole day. 

“Shit, Blue’s home?!” Red asked, and Sans rolled his eyes. No, no, Red. He’d just been welcoming the color blue into their house. It’s fine.

“Hi…” Blue said, and Red swore loudly as something crashed to the ground. Blue seemed to be considering if it was worth the stress to go see what he’d broken as Red yelled something that Sans didn’t even try to make out. 

Sans descended the stairs carefully and crossed the room to Blue’s side, wrapping him up in a hug and burying his face in his collarbone. 

“Don’t, don’t, I’m all wet, Sans,” he protested weakly, but he relaxed into him anyway, and Sans just let himself melt for a moment before stepping back and scooping the smaller carefully into his arms. 

“You’re freezing!” he exclaimed, beginning to carry Blue upstairs. 

X-X-X-X

“How about you shut the fuck up and tear up your shitty lettuce?” Sans growled, turning off the stove and shoving the pan off the burner. He could feel the burn of tears in his eyes, and Red finally seemed to notice something was wrong, blinking slightly and reaching out for him. Sans shrugged him off, stalking to the doorway and saying “Fuck yourself,” over his shoulder, causing Red to break out in surprised giggles. 

Sans flipped him off and burst into tears, and Red’s eyes widened. “Uh...Sans, are you okay?” he asked quietly.

Sans glared at him for a moment before spinning around and stomping away, going up the stairs as quickly as he could and wiping angrily at his eyes before storming down the hallway to the bathroom door, before he remembered that it was currently occupied. 

Fuck it. 

“Hey Blue?” he asked.

There was a moment of silence, then Blue’s voice echoed through the door. “Yeah?” Sans was glad to hear that he sounded less tired, at least. By the looks of it, itd been a long day. 

“Can I come in?” He asked, just loud enough for Blue to hear him. 

“Sans! I'm not dressed!”

Sans snorted, and he heard Blue huff loudly. “Fine, just give me a sec. Count to 10 or something.”

Sans dutifully counted to 9, then swung the door open and stepped through, just barely catching sight of the shower curtain swinging closed. He smiled for a moment, then shut and locked the door behind him and crossed the room, reaching into one of the drawers behind the sink and pulling out a bottle of advil before staring at it regretfully and bursting into tears again. “Whoa! Sans!” He looked back to see Blue peeking around the shower curtain at him, looking worried. “Are you okay?”

Sans couldn't get himself to answer, instead sinking to the floor and burying his face in his hands. 

He heard Blue step out of the tub and wrap himself in a towel before crossing the room and kneeling in front of him. “Hey, Sans, if we’re out of Advil, we can always get some more, you don't have to--”

Sans shook his head violently, still beyond answering. Blue reached out for him, hesitating just before they came into contact. “Can I touch you?”

Sans nodded, and Blue wrapped him up in a hug. His bones were still warm from the water, and Sans pulled himself closer, seeking every scrap of comfort he could get. They just sat like that for a few minutes until Sans had managed to calm down, his sobs fading into quiet hiccups. 

“Sans, what's going on?” Blue asked quietly, rubbing his back soothingly. 

“Red’s an a-asshole,” Sans said sadly, and Blue looked down at him in surprise.

“Red did this to you?” Blue asked, sounding shocked. 

Sans started to nod, then sighed and shook his head. “No, I-I guess not.” Then he burst into semi-hysterical laughter. “I mean, I guess he technically did, but it wasn't on purpose,”

Blue looked slightly scared, and Sans didn't miss the way he was looking into his eyelights as though searching for something. Sans reached up gently and took hold of Blue’s wrists, kissing his fingers before saying, “I am about the furthest thing from drunk right now, Blue.”

Blue still looked doubtful, and Sans sighed, trying to find the words to explain. 

“I-I...I’m…”

Bue was watching him curiously, and it was all starting to feel like far too much again. “I can't even take care of my fucking pet rock!” he finally wailed, burying his head back into Blue’s chest. Blue burst into startled giggles. “Honey, I feed the pet rock, it's okay. I don't think it's going to starve if that's what you're upset about!”

Blue’s attempt at humor fell flat as Sans continued to cry, and he sighed quietly. 

“Sans, what's wrong?” he asked again, and in answer, Sans reached down and lifted up the front of his shirt, exposing the tiny soul hovering just below his own. 

Blue gasped, and Sans pulled away, letting his shirt drop and burying his face in his hands, preparing for something bad to happen, like it always did. 

“Oh,  _ Sans! _ Oh, this is wonderful! Is this why you were talking about your pet rock?” 

Sans looked up in surprise at the happiness in Blue’s voice, and he nodded dumbly as he took in the site of his boyfriend, still wrapped in a towel, star-shaped eyelights practically shining with joy. 

“Oh, Sans, it's okay! We’re all going to do it together, nobody has to be a perfect parent, we just have to be--!” His eyes grew impossibly brighter, and he clasped his hands in front of his chin. “Sans, I'm going to be a parent!” 

His joy was infectious, and Sans found himself smiling along with him. 

“Oh, Red is going to be so mad when he finds out you're the one carrying it, this is proof you have higher magic reserves than he does!”

Sans’s face fell when Red was mentioned, and Blue paused. “Was...Was Red not happy?” he asked, his expression shifting quickly into anger as he glanced back at the doorway. “Don't worry, Sans, I'll talk to--” 

Sans reached out and grabbed his arms, bringing him up short. “I haven't told Red yet!”

Blue stopped, looking down at him in confusion, and Sans sighed. “I only found out today and I was just...I was scared, and I-I didn't know how you guys would react, and I just… I wasn't even supposed to  _ be  _ in this relationship--”

Blue clapped a hand over his mouth, frowning at him. “Don't you ever say anything like that again, Sans. We both love you just as much as we love each other, and you know that very well!”

Sans’s eyes filled with tears, and he hung his head as Blue let him go. “I know. It's just hard to remember sometimes,” he whispered, not making eye contact. 

Blue planted a soft kiss on his temple, then leaned back slightly. “You know we have to tell Red, right?” 

Sans nodded, and Blue took that as a go-ahead and immediately stood and ripped the door open. “RED! GET UP HERE, QUICK! ITS SANS!” he yelled, then he turned back to where Sans was sitting. 

“Was that really necessary?” he asked, grunting as Blue helped him stand up. 

“It'll get him up here quicker, that's for sure!” the smaller chirped, wrapping the towel more snugly about himself and standing beside him. 

Red appeared directly in front of the bathroom, magic flaring out of his eye. “Where’s the--” he was brought up short by the sight of them standing calmly in the bathroom, and he let his magic disperse, sighing. “Blue, you've gotta stop doing that.”

“I know! Sans is pregnant!”

“No, I don't think you understand, what if someday there's a real  _ wait what??? _ ”

Red looked completely shell-shocked, staring at each of them in turn before glancing down at where Sans’s soul lay hidden. Sans tried to contain the blush that lit up his face at the look on the other’s face. “I...You're  _ what?” _

Sans fidgeted for a moment, then lifted the front of the shirt again, showing off the tiny soulling.

Red’s eyes filled with tears when he saw it, and he immediately stepped forward and wrapped them both up into a hug, muffling his tears on Sans’s shoulder. 

Sans just stared at this display of emotion, not sure what to do. Blue was laughing happily, looking for all the world like this was the best day of his life, and Red was slowly trying to regain control of himself. 

“Is…” Red sniffed slightly, loosening the hug slightly but not letting go of either of them. “Is this why you've been so pissy with me all day?”

Sans snorted and smacked him lightly on the side of the head. “Shut the fuck up,” he mumbled, and Red laughed tearily, grabbing him by the chin and planting a hard kiss on his mouth. 

“Never,” he replied, giving them both one last hug before letting them go. 

“Hey Red?” Blue started. Red looked over at him curiously. “Guess what this means?”

“I should probably stop wearing so much leather?”

“God, no,” said Sans as Blue opened his mouth to reply. 

Red smirked at him as the other said, “He has higher magic reserves than you!”

Red froze, staring at Blue for a second before reaching out and grabbing them both by the hands, tugging them out the door to the sound of Blue's laughter. “Nope, I call bullshit, we’re trying this again!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red has always loved kids, but he never in a million years thought he would ever get the chance to have a child of his own.  
> Blue knows he can be perfect enough for all three of them. This day started out very bad and ended up being one of the best days of his life.  
> Poor Sans is just overwhelmed and hormonal, just be proud of him for not straight-up murdering Red over the course of the day. He can be kinda irritating at times.


	61. Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *quietly places Rottenberry on the rarepair shelf next to Tango*
> 
> This was inspired by a quote from The Caged Bird’s Song, which is actually an Edgeberry fic, but hey, same thing, right? (f*** me)  
>  _“He nuzzled into Sans’ touch, selfishly wishing the other’s pureness of heart could wash away the blood-caked dirt of his past.”_
> 
> *cracks knuckles* let’s mcfrickin do this.

 

“What about an aquarium?”

Razz looked at Blue doubtfully, scrunching up his nose in an expression he was wearing far too often during this conversation. “What the fu--” At the look on the other’s face, he corrected himself quickly. “What’s an aquarium?”

Blue shrugged. “I’m not really sure, actually. Alphys told me that Undyne’s family lives there, then she laughed a lot, so maybe it could be fun! I like Undyne!”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t like anything,” Blue huffed, plopping down on the couch next to his alternate and folding his arms in a pout. 

Razz raised one eyebrow, trying to hide a smile. Slowly, so as to avoid detection, he snuck one arm around the back of the couch, lowering it silently as Blue studiously avoided looking at him. 

Rookie mistake. 

As soon as Blue was surrounded in the ambush, Razz pounced, attacking his ribs and pinning him down so he couldn’t get away. Blue was laughing breathlessly, trying to push Razz away and failing miserably. 

“What’s wrong, Blue?” he asked, grinning down at him as he continued to tickle him. There were tears of laughter gathering in the corners of Blue’s eye sockets, and he was shaking with mirth as he attempted to get the other off. “What’s so funny?”

“Stop, please!” Blue giggled, ineffectually trying to grab onto Razz’s hands. “Mercy!”

Razz grinned, pressing a quick kiss to Blue’s cheek before letting him go. Blue’s newfound freedom only lasted a split second before Razz had pulled his alternate into his lap, leaning back against the cushions and wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. He tucked his face into the crook of Blue’s neck, and he just  _ knew _ he was blushing because he always did when Razz got handsy.

What? They’d been together for almost a year, Razz could do whatever he wanted as long as Blue was okay with it.

“You know…” Razz begin, and Blue shuddered from the vibrations against his neck. “We could just do our date here?”

Blue huffed and pulled away slightly, turning to be more comfortable and folding his arms again. “You are not getting out of this. You promised!”

Razz sighed, immediately surrendering in the face of those giant blue starry eyes. “Fine,” he said, rolling his eyes slightly and causing Blue to smack him lightly on the arm. “Well, the aquarium sounds fine, I guess. Are we going to do dinner as well?”

Blue gave him a look. “What do you take me for? Of course we’re going to dinner.”

“Where?”

“El Compadre.”

Razz fist-pumped, making Blue giggle in surprise. “I’m guessing you approve?”

“Fuck yeah, I do!”

Blue gave him a disapproving look, and he cleared his throat before tilting his head to one side. “No, you know what, I’m not taking that one back. It’s Mexican food, I think it deserves a bit of excitement.”

Blue snorted and curled up closer to him, burying his face in his chest. “You know what?”

“What?”

“You’re pretty fantastic. You know what else?”

“Do I even need to be responding here?”

Blue peeked up at him, and Razz was brought up short by the sight of the other’s heart-shaped eyelights.  “I’ll take that as a yes. What?”

Blue tucked his face back into the other’s chest, and Razz groaned inwardly. How in the ever-living hell was someone this adorable even possible?

“I love you.”

Razz started at the muffled voice, staring down at the best thing that had ever happened to him before pulling himself closer, pulling his legs up and wrapping his body around his lover the best he could, considering he was barely bigger than the other.

A year ago, Razz had come to this world planning to destroy it. He had planned to kill every living thing on sight. He had put special attention into planning to find and destroy his alternate self, thinking they would be as ruthless and bloodthirsty as himself. 

Instead…

Razz pressed his forehead against the side of Blue’s face, rubbing circles with his thumbs into the other’s hands.

Instead, he had found probably the most pure-hearted being in the multiverse. Someone who, once he fell in love, never backed away from it, never backed away from  _ him _ . No matter how many goddamn times he had deserved it. The other’s unwavering faith in him made Razz see the world in a whole different light, made him want to be better in every possible way, to improve what he had previously thought was already perfect. 

Blue saw his sins, and he didn’t care. He saw everything that Razz could possibly become and did absolutely everything in his power to help him achieve it.

No one had ever loved Razz like this before, without fear to keep them in line. And as far as he was concerned, no one had ever loved anyone as deeply as he loved Blue in return. 

“I love you too. More than I can tell you.”

Blue wrapped his arms around the back of his neck and kissed him deeply, seeming to feel what was going through Razz’s mind and wanting nothing more than to return it. 

When he was with Blue, he almost felt as Magnificent as the other seemed to think he was. When he was with Blue, he didn’t have to hide. 

When he was with Blue…

He felt tears forming in his eyes from the strength of his emotion, but he didn’t try to hide them. He never did. 

When he was with Blue, the weight of his sins didn’t seem quite so heavy anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted on Tumblr [here](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/159327254514/hide).


	62. Megalovania 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is way shorter than the last one and I'm sorry! But honestly I'm surprised I've found time to write as much as I have! I'll probably do a part 3 soonish because I only did half of the songs on my list.
> 
> Bold song titles mean warning-worthy content, and if it says 18+ it's because Fresh is a bad influence lol (they're smuttish, just be careful, alright? They're pretty clearly marked)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to making ya'll another playlist lol, [here it is!](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqVcv6TydN72AFw2Uc35G2ZBDMiu1GB67)

I Don't Want To Live Forever - Zayn Malik and Taylor Swift

{UF!Sans x UT!Sans}

Sans was curled into the side of Red’s body, his breath leaving a slight mist on his ribs. Red sighed deeply, wrapping an arm around his smaller lover and planting a small kiss on the top of his head. Sans shifted slightly in his sleep, pressing himself closer to Red unconsciously. The light was streaming in through the cracked window, and Red could smell  _ something _ cooking from downstairs; probably the work of one of their brothers. He let his eyes drift shut, sinking into the peaceful air of the morning. He wasn't usually awake this early, but he just couldn't pass up the treat that days like this had become. He'd never thought he would have the chance to be happy or to find something like this, but here it was. And he could swear on his life that he wasn't ever going to let it go. 

 

Style vs Lean On Mashup

{UF!Sans x UL!Sans}

“So how long have you guys been together?” 

Red jumped slightly, and Lust sprang backwards, almost falling off of the couch. Blue was standing in front of them, smiling innocently. “The fuck are you talking about?” Red spluttered at the same time Lust said. 

“We aren't even together!” 

Blue looked confused. “But...Weren't you just kissing?”

Red blushed brightly, and Lust didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. “No?” Lust tried, but it fell flat.

Red sighed in exasperation at the uselessness of the other. “You don't have to be dating to kiss, Blue, Lust can tell you, he's a total slut.”

“Yeah, exactly!” Lust said, nodding vigorously.

Blue looked at them doubtfully, trading glances with Fell, who had poked his head in from the kitchen. 

“Fucking idiots…” Fell muttered, then he disappeared back to where he came. 

 

Crazy=Genius - Panic! At the Disco

{US!Paps x UF!Paps}

Fell found his head bobbing along to the beat as he washed the dishes. It wasn't something he did often, but this particular song had a nice sound to it that made him want to dance. Glancing around behind him to make sure no one was in sight, he began moving along more energetically, scrubbing a plate with vigor as the chorus began. He mumbled along to the lyrics, not noticing as Stretch entered the room behind him, stopping in shock as he beheld the scene before him. Then he laughed aloud, and Fell froze, turning to look at him. 

He blushed hard, forcing himself to be still and electing to ignore the taller, turning back to the dishes and scrubbing the plate he was on as hard as he could. 

Stretch shook his head, still chuckling slightly, then crossed the room, gently removing his hands from the plate and pulling him away from the sink. 

“Have you ever heard of swing dancing, Fell?”

 

**Fools - Troye Sivan**

{UF!Paps x SF!Sans}

There was a quiet knock on the door, and Razz swore softly to himself as he dried his hands and quickly went to answer it. 

Fell stood on the doorstep, something dark clutched tightly in his hands. Razz couldn't tell exactly what it was, but he could see by the look on the other’s face that he needed to come in, and he needed Razz more desperately than he had ever needed anything before. 

Fell stepped into the house as tears began to drip down his face, and Razz turned from the door to see that he had dropped to his knees, letting the object in his hands drop to the floor. 

Upon recognizing it, Razz stepped around him, wrapping him up and pulling him close, letting him cry onto the shoulder of his shirt. 

Razz closed his eyes as the other sobbed, doing his best not to look at the fur-lined leather jacket that lay crumpled on the floor, streaked with dust. 

 

Hymn For the Weekend- Coldplay

{US!Paps x UT!Sans}

“Echo!”

“You're an idiot.”

Stretch laughed slightly, turning away from the edge of the cavern to flip Sans off. “That's a bit rude, there, asshole.”

Sans grinned. “You're the one yelling echo into a hole in the ground, sorry for calling it as I see it!”

Stretch rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. He walked back to where the other sat, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. Sans settled into his chest with a content sigh, letting his eyes drop closed. 

“At least I didn't try talking to surface flowers that one time,” Stretch murmured teasingly. 

Sans’s eyes flew open and he pushed the other off the rock. Stretch’s laughter rang out through the area, and Sans huffed down at him. “I did not!”

 

 **Anti-Gravity - Runaground**

{UF Sans x Paps}

Red let his magic flow through him, creating a blaster to hover in the air over his shoulder. His magic was flowing from his right eye and lighting up the air around him, and he knew he looked unrecognizable. 

Fell stood across from him, awestruck. He stared up at the giant skull, then down at his brother. He had never seen Sans look more terrifying. 

Sans let the magic fade, the weapon disappearing and his eye returning to normal. He cocked one brow at his brother, folding his arms and grinning cockily. “What was that you were saying about me being--”

He was very abruptly cut off by Fell using his blue magic to pick him up and throw him into the wall. He was confused for a few moments, until his brother strode across the room planting a hand on either side of his head and pressing their teeth together roughly. 

Now, this, he recognized. 

 

Workin’ - JamestheMormon

{US!Sans x UF!Sans}

Blue rocked his hips back and forth, rolling his arms around each other in front of him and just generally rocking out like the magnificent dancer he was. 

Red was watching him amusedly, occasionally making sarcastic comments. 

Blue was not deterred by his rude boyfriend; he knew he was amazing already and he didn't need Red making jokes about his 'bone’ to realize it further. 

Not that he was going to say he hated it or anything. 

“You know, if you're having so many problems you should just join me!” Blue exclaimed, bouncing over to where Red sat and holding out his hands with a grin. 

Red regarded him doubtfully. “How long have you known me?”

“Longer than I ever wanted to!”

Red snorted. “And you still think I'd want to do this?”

Blue winked. “And you still think you actually have a choice in the matter, do you?” 

 

**18+ Animal - Conor Maynard**

{UF!Bros x UT!Sans}

Red grinned at Sans, kneeling in front of him and putting his fingers under his chin. He turned his head from side to side, regarding him cockily, then turned back to face Fell. 

“I dunno, Boss, he might not be ready for this.”

Sans kicked out at Red, connecting lightly with his femur. “Shut the fuck up, will you?”

Red grinned again, then winked. “You'd better be careful, sweetheart. If you can't keep them to yourself, we’re gonna have to tie your legs down too.”

Sans turned bright blue, and Red ran his tongue over his teeth before looking back at Fell again. 

Fell regarded them both with a false air of derision. “Show our guest his place, Sans.”

Red turned back to Sans, taking in the way his eye had gone slightly hazier at the other's words. 

“Gladly, Boss.”

 

**18+ The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! at the Disco**

{SF Bros}

Razz smirked down at his brother, trying not to let quite how much he was enjoying this slip through.

He reached down and seized him by the front of his shirt, dragging him up to eye level roughly and causing Slim to choke slightly. 

“Who is your Master?” 

Slim bowed his head in deference, not making eye contact. Razz suppressed a shiver at the way the other displayed his subservience, then shook him, demanding an answer. 

“You, my Lord.”

“Who is your  _ owner _ ?”

Slim looked up at him, eyes hooded. “Only you, my Lord.”

Razz grinned, then dropped him, stepping back to sit on the bed that stood behind him. He leaned back on his hands and let his knees drift apart, cocking his head to one side and letting his tongue poke out slightly out from between his teeth. 

“Very good, Papyrus. Now, show me how you please your Lord.”

 

The Greatest - Sia

{UF!Sans x UT!Sans}

There was just something about Sans that made Red want to yell. 

Not yell in a negative way, never that, he wanted to just...Let it out. Express to the world exactly where he was in life and how absolutely fantastic it was. 

Red had grown up without love, without support, without  _ anything _ positive except for the days when his brother would be gone on patrol for weeks at a time. 

But ever since he'd found Sans, he had been, dare he even  _ say _ it aloud, happy. 

Sans made him want to yell, to grab the other by the hands and spin around, watching the way his laugh lit up his eyelights and scream for all the world to listen to how fucking  _ happy  _ he is. 

He never thought he would find anything like this, and now that it was here, he wanted absolutely everyone to know about it. 

 

Can’t Hold Us - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

{US!Bros & UF!Bros & UT!Bros}

“What in the hell are we going to do about this?” Red asked, starting to peer around the corner before Sans yanked him back. 

“Maybe not give ourselves away, yeah?” he muttered, and Red shrugged him off, looking angry. 

A gentle hand was laid on his shoulder, and he looked to the side to find Papyrus smiling down at him. “Let’s not fight, okay? We can fix this.”

Red snorted, and Fell looked like he wanted to smack him before Blue spoke up. “Of course we can fix this! Everything is fixable!”

Red glared at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? We just set Undyne’s house on fire, how is this fixable?”

There was a long moment of silence, then Stretch said, “A lot of running away, probably.”

 

Girls Like U (Tarro Remix) - Blackbear

{UF!Sans x SF!Paps}

Slim was laying in the grass. He couldn't remember quite how he had gotten there, but he knew it was...Wet. Almost unpleasantly so, soaking into his sweater, but for some reason he couldn't get himself to care. 

He was waiting for someone. Who was he...Oh! Red, he was waiting for Red!

Excitement pulsed through him for a moment before it dulled into quiet contentment. He noticed something glowing slightly on the ceiling and he stared at it for a moment before realizing it was the star crystals. He giggled at that slightly, which confused him. He never giggled. 

Red appeared beside him with a loud  _ crack _ . Without saying a word, he laid beside him, throwing one arm over his chest and pressing his forehead against the other’s ribs suddenly enough it clanked. Slim smiled down at him affectionately for a moment before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

Red hummed happily, reaching out and taking something out of Slim’s hand that he had forgotten was even there, bringing it to his face for a moment before flicking it away. 

Slim looked up at the glowing ceiling again, wanting to point it out to Red but not wanting to break the silence. 

This was the most peaceful he thought he'd ever been. 

 

**18+ Call Me Master - Blood on the Dance Floor**

{UL!Sans x UT!Sans}

Sans's back slammed hard enough into the bed to knock the wind out of him, and he had absolutely no chance of regaining it as Lust leaned over him and claimed his mouth, using his tongue to completely dominate every move Sans tried to make. 

When he finally broke the kiss, Lust sat up, grinning down at him. Sans grinned back, then let his eyes haze over, staring up at the other. 

Lust felt a shiver run down his spine as he recognized the look in the other’s eyes. Reaching out, he hooked two fingers into the lilac collar around Sans’s neck, pulling him to sit up so that they were face to face. 

He leaned forward, kissing Sans again, and heard the other moan out one word. 

“Master…”

 

Animals - Maroon 5

{UF Bros}

“Who the fuck do you think you are??” shouted Red, throwing his hands into the air as he faced off against his brother. 

“Are you kidding me?” Fell screamed back. “You're fucking destroying yourself, of course I'm going to make you stop!” 

Red huffed angrily, jabbing his finger into Fell’s face. “You've never fucking cared what I've done! Why does it matter now?”

Fell’s face grew hard, and he was clenching and unclenching his fists as though physically restraining himself from hitting Red. “You're my brother!”

“Really? Am I,  _ Boss? _ ”

“Yes!” Fell yelled. “For fuck’s sake, Sans, I don't like seeing you like this!”

“Why do you--”

“BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE, WHY ELSE??”

 

Shape of You - Ed Sheeran

{UL!Sans x DT!Sans}

“Lust, I don't know about this…”

Lust waved a dismissive hand at him before climbing onto the small stage and holding out a hand. “There's a first time for everything, right Dance?”

Dance huffed, then shrugged. “Fine. I guess it never hurt to try.”

Lust grinned and reached out, grabbing Dance’s hands and placing them both onto the pole. “Try...Spinning around it. Holding it like this,” he said, adjusting the other’s grip slightly. 

Dance looked at him doubtfully as he stepped out of the way, then did as he was told before coming to a stop. “You do realize that my whole world is based off of dancing, right? I think I can handle a bit more than this.”

Lust snorted at the double entendre, then stepped forward, waving Dance off. “Fine,” he said, then he gripped onto the pole with both hands and swung his legs up, turning himself upside down. “Can you do this?”

Dance snorted as Lust let himself down, cracking his knuckles and gripping onto the pole. “You insult me.”

 

Let Me Love You - Justin Bieber

{US!Sans x UF!Paps}

Blue had always been too good for him. He was a killer, brought up to protect himself before anyone else and never spare a second thought for whoever may be stupid enough to challenge him. 

But Blue...Blue picked him flowers and told him he had good inside. He never stopped believing in him, believing he could be... _ Better,  _ somehow. 

Fell had taken a very long time to believe that better was even possible. That he could find any sort of peace that might allow him to relax, that he could wash away the dust-caked sins of his past. 

Blue’s purity helped with that. It was easy, most of the time, to just hold him close and pretend that he was as good as Blue saw him to be. Blue would look up at him when he got that way, and he wouldn't say anything. He would just let himself be held, tucking himself in as close to Fell as he could get. 

Blue was everything  _ better _ Fell ever thought he would need. 

 

Please Don't Go - Joel Adams

{US!Sans x UF!Sans x UF!Paps}

Fell paced angrily in the living room, Red watching him warily. 

“Boss--”

“Shut the fuck up. I already know that he's probably fine.”

Red fell silent, watching his brother wear a dent into the floor. 

Fell stopped suddenly, bringing up both hands to rub at his eyes. “What if…” then he threw both hands in the air and resumed pacing, apparently unable to express his concerns aloud. 

Red’s eyes softened. “Maybe we should just go check on him?”

Fell stopped again, regarding him carefully, then nodded. “Lead the way.”

Red had barely stood up before the front door burst open, the little Blueberry rocketing in and shutting the door hard behind him. 

Fell let out a strangled noise that made Red look at him, somewhat amused, before they both followed Blue into the kitchen. 

“Sorry I was late!” he was saying brightly, arranging ingredients on the counter. “I had a party today!”

“A party?” They asked in tandem. 

Blue turned, grinning, then handed Red a box. Red looked at him, confused, as he started pulling eggs out of the fridge, beckoning Fell over to help with the mixing. Red glanced down at the box. Cake mix? Why would he--

Suddenly Blue was in front of him, arms wrapped around his middle before he took the box back. “Happy Birthday, Red!”

 

Teenage Dream - Glee Cast

{SF!Sans x US!Sans}

Blue was dancing again. 

Razz watched him silently from the doorway, smile curving the edges of his mouth. The slightly smaller skeleton was bouncing along to the beat, as energetic and happy as he always seemed to be. 

Razz coughed lightly, and Blue spun around, but didn't stop dancing. 

His whole face lit up, and it made Razz’s soul ache in a way he didn't quite know how to describe. He didn't think anyone else had ever been quite so happy to see him. 

This amazing person had changed his life so much. 

Blue walked quickly across the room, still rocking out, and seized Razz’s hands. “Is the Malicious Sans too cool to come dance with me?” he asked happily, smile on his face. 

Well. Razz had never really been able to deny him anything. 

 

Go the Distance - Shawn Hook

{US!Sans x UT!Sans}

“Any fives?”

Blue kicked his feet happily, grinning. “Go fish!”

Sans tried to hide his smile. Fuck, why was he so cute? He drew a card, placing it into his deck. 

“Any nines?” Blue asked. 

Sans winked. “Just you, sweetheart.”

Blue’s face lit up in a blush, and he narrowed his eyes at Sans, then held out his hand. “Your underhanded methods aren't going to distract me from winning this game.”

Sans tsked disappointedly and handed over his nine, which made Blue grin happily and add it to his deck. 

Sans sighed, smiling softly at him. It was hard to believe that anyone this perfect had ever fallen in love with someone like him. 

 

Faded vs. Closer Mashup

{US!Paps x UT!Sans}

Sans woke up to the smell of pancakes. Frowning, he sat up slowly. He looked around, rubbing his head. He felt hungover but...Nothing about his room looked quite right. Maybe he was still drunk?

He stood slowly, surprised by his ability to walk straight. It was then that he glanced down and realized that he was completely naked. Fantastic. 

He grabbed the nearest piece of clothing, throwing it over his head and yelping in surprise as it completely dwarfed him, coming almost down to his knees. 

He looked down at himself again, almost immediately realizing what he was wearing. Was he…

Just then, the door swung open, and Stretch walked through, clothed in his black tank top and cargo shorts. He had a plate of pancakes in his hand, but he stopped short when he saw Sans, blushing brightly. 

“I...Uh…” he didn't seem to know what to say, and Sans didn't have any idea where to begin. 

Finally, Stretch held out the plate, still blushing. “You look nice in my sweatshirt,” he said awkwardly, and Sans grinned up at him before taking the pancakes, pulling him to sit next to him on the bed. 

 

Into You - Ariana Grande

{US!Sans x UT!Sans x UF!Sans}

“Are you ready?” Sans asked Red, fidgeting nervously with the ends of his sleeves. 

Red was blushing profusely, looking anything but ready, but he nodded anyway. 

Sans took a deep breath, then went to call out, but his voice failed him, trailing off into a short whine as he flushed a deep blue. 

Red growled slightly, then yelled, “Blue! C’mere!”

There was the sound of running footsteps, then Blue came into the room, happy, ever-present smile in place. “Yeah?”

“C-come here!” Red said, sounding sharper than he meant to. He cursed himself for his nervousness, and Sans laid a calming hand on his shoulder. Red looked over to see that he was shaking as well, and took a moment to calm himself. 

Blue looked confused, but complied, sitting on the couch when the other two gestured for him to do so. They stood awkwardly for a moment, then Sans sat beside Blue very abruptly, seeming to be trying to avoid looking at anyone’s face. 

Now Blue looked worried, staring between the two of them rapidly. “...what’s wrong?”

Sans cleared his throat, looking at the floor. “Well, you see, the thing is, we love you, and all that, and, um, well, we just, we love you--”

“We want to marry you!” Red shouted, interrupting his other boyfriend. “A-and Sans.”

There was a long pause. 

“I want to marry Sans, too. I mean, I assume you want to do too, and he wants to marry me, I’m not really sure how the law goes with this sort of thing but I really--”

Blue was laughing. He stood, pulling Sans to his feet and hugging them both. “Yes! Of course!”

 

Live While We’re Young-One Direction

{UF!Papyrus & UL!Sans}

Fell wasn’t entirely sure  _ why _ he still lived with Lust, but it was certainly entertaining. He had been doing the dishes quietly when the other ran into the room with his headphones on, dancing from cabinet to cabinet with entirely too much vigor, knocking over the occasional utensil and generally causing a ruckus. 

Lust appeared to be trying to make cookies, but with the way he was pumping his fist in the air every few seconds, it wasn’t going very well. Fell had a good idea what the other was listening to, but he knew Lust would never admit to it. 

Well. To every problem there is a solution.

Quietly, he crossed the room, coming up behind his roommate and unplugging the headphones and causing Harry’s dulcet tones to fill the kitchen.

It took Lust a moment to realize what had just happened, but when he did, he squealed and plugged his headphones back in, causing Fell to laugh and go back to what he was doing, shaking his head at the other’s antics.

 

Unsteady - X Ambassadors

{US!Sans x UF!Sans (Believe in Me)}

“You know, I’ve never actually ballroom danced before!” Blue said, watching the others out on the dance floor with the usual sparkle in his eyes. 

Red grinned slightly, turning towards the other and holding out a hand. 

Blue’s eyes widened, and he smiled, but he hesitated before taking it. “I don’t know how to--”

Red shook his head slightly, reaching out and grabbing his hand, tugging him out onto the floor. “Yes you do. We practiced for  _ hours _ right before we got married. I’m sure your body remembers some of it, at least.” Blue still looked unsure, but Red let one hand drop to Blue’s hip, guiding him into the first steps as Blue reached up to grip onto his shoulder. “It’s alright, it never hurt to try, did it?”

Blue smiled at him, seeming to gain confidence as Red moved them in slow circles. “Alright, this isn’t so bad,” he admitted. 

Red winked. “I know how we can make it even better.”

And with that, he dropped Blue into a dip, planting a kiss on his mouth before pulling him back up and spinning him around, causing the other to break out into breathless laughter, the sounds of their joy filling the room.

 

Wait For It - Hamilton

{US!Papyrus x US!Sans x UF!Sans}

Red is smiling. 

This might seem like a small thing, to casual observers. After all, most Sanses have faces that are prone to the expression. It’s a thing that comes naturally when most of the things out of your mouth are bad jokes.

It isn’t so much that Red is different. Not really. Blue is constantly complaining to anyone who will listen about Red’s constant puns, and Stretch will get into hour-long knock-knock joke battles with him. 

It’s more that...Red’s smile isn’t usually very happy. Smiling is a thing that has become more of a habit than an actual expression of emotion, and there hasn’t been anything he could do about that for a very long time. His world, after all, didn’t exactly encourage positive emotions. 

But Red is smiling. 

He’s sitting on the couch, watching as Blue is actually chasing his younger brother through the house, waving a dropped sock at him and insisting he pick it up, despite the fact that it has technically already been picked up.

It was one of those situations you would never actually believe actually happens outside of convenient fluffy plotlines, but here it was. 

And Red was smiling. 

And it’s reaching his eyes! And as he’s watching the two people he loves most in the world run around the house like children, he’s even  _ laughing _ . And the sound of it shocks the both of them so much that they stop, but he’s already so far gone that it doesn’t even matter, he’s laughing so hard that tears are streaming out of his eyes.

He’s happy. 

Now there’s something to smile about.

 

Shatter Me - Lindsey Stirling

{AT!Sans x RT!Sans}

When Reaper came across an all-too familiar shape in the distance, he sighed quietly. He knew exactly what was going to happen, what had already happened more than once in the past. He would look closer, and they would be gone. 

A soul, ready to be taken, but somehow forever out of reach. 

He wasn’t sure what was causing this but he knew it was making his job a whole hell of a lot harder. 

He shook the thoughts out of his head and stepped closer, surprised when the soul didn’t fade.

A figure began to solidify around it, coming closer to the immortal plane even as he walked closer, until finally, he was looking them in the face.

They were a Sans, that much was apparent. And they had a slash of red across their chest, from the same injury all Sanses appeared with. 

But this Sans was crying. There were tears streaming down his face, and as Reaper approached, he didn’t look surprised or shocked or scared like everyone else always did. 

Instead, he held out one hand, stepping in the direction of his death and speaking.

“Please, take me. I’m ready.”

 

So Close - Jon McLoughlin

{UT!Sans x UF!Sans}

It took Sans a moment to realize that Red was singing under his breath, with his voice being as buried beneath the music as it was. 

They were sitting off to the side of the dance floor, and the party was starting to wind down. It was likely this would be the last slow song of the night, but Sans was far too tired to take advantage of it.

Instead, he leaned sideways, laying his head down on Red’s shoulder and wrapping both arms around his waist. 

Red continued swaying and singing, but he wrapped an arm around the tops of Sans’ shoulders, smiling slightly. His eyes were closed, and he rested his cheek against the top of the other’s head. 

Sans closed his eyes, pulling himself closer and just soaking in the peacefulness of the moment. 

“I love you, Red.”

 

The Girl (JBP Remix) - Hellburg

{FF!Sans x UF!Sans}

“What?” Red asked, his jaw dropping open.

Star smiled at him, holding out his hand and gesturing towards the portal. “I asked if you wanted to see the surface.”

Red stared at him for a moment before leaping to his feet and taking the other’s hand, practically pulling him through the portal. He was grinning widely, clearly excited at having this chance in front of him. 

They came out the other side in the same place they had left, the skeleton’s brothers’ house. 

Star didn’t waste a moment, grabbing Red by the arm and shortcutting them to the place he lived now. 

Red’s eyes filled with tears as he stared up at the star-strewn sky, and he clutched at his alternate like a lifeline, unable to find words for what he was feeling right then.

 

Alone (Wildvibes Remix) - Alan Walker

{Ink x Error}

Error took a deep breath, doing his best not to completely lose his cool in the face of the single most infuriating person he had ever met. “I’m sorry, who the hell do you think you are?”

Ink grinned up at him from his place where he was lying on the floor of the antivoid. “Your worst nightmare, I suppose,” he said, cocking one brow. 

Error groaned slightly, rubbing at his sockets. “Well, you’ve certainly got that right,” he mumbled, then he decided to say screw it just this once and he joined the other on the floor, looking up at the empty masses of string above their heads.

“It looks so...lacking. Like it’s missing something,” Ink said, and Error rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well, you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

  
  
  


**Bonus: SansyFresh was there when I was writing and they decided to get creative and try a few of their own! I did cut one out, though, Fresh, you know which one and why...**

Kedgeup Youth Troye Sivan

Sans felt the air as it blew past, the noise almost overwhelming. He leaned closer into the back of his boyfriend, who he had already wrapped his arms around tightly. He just knew the asshole was smirking at his fear. It wasn’t his fault! He had never ridden a motorcycle before!

A hand lifted from the handles, gripping his comfortingly. He kinda wished Fell would keep his hands where they needed to be to drive this damn thing, but he couldn’t deny the calming effect it had. He looked around through his helmet visor, the landscape a bit tinted but otherwise breathtaking. Maybe it was worth it to go on this trip with Fell. Maybe he wouldn’t have to beat his boyfriend up the next gas station they stopped at. A smile at the thought stretching across his face, Sans nuzzled Fell’s back, settling in for the ride. Whatever happened, he’d be safe; Fell would make sure of it.

  
  


BlueFell-Just One Yesterday FOB

Fell and Red strode down the darkened streets, leather jackets and boots creaking threateningly with every step. They had one destination in mind and heaven help whoever stood in their way. The lights overhead were flicking off and on as they came up on the back alley they needed, three large men waiting in front of a barricaded door. Within a moment there were three bodies strewn on the cement and the door was tore open. Red walked forward, Fell watching his back as they passed room after room, until they finally came upon one that had two more guards. While Fell took care of them, Red tore the door from its hinges and stormed inside, blasters growling as they materialized over his head. 

There were several blasts of light, then Fell walked in, ignoring the bodies on the floor for the little skeleton tied in the center of the room, Red already working on the ties. His blue scarf was gone, his clothes torn, but there was no mistaking their Blue.

As soon as Red had the final rope torn Fell lifted the now unconscious skeleton into his arms, and walked back out of the hellhole, Red right behind him.

  
  
  
  


Kustard love again PTX

Sans hummed as he walked through the house, headphones over his head, beat vibrating through his skull. He knew he probably looked ridiculous as he danced along, the rhythm making it impossible to not. Soon he made his way to the living room where he could no longer keep walking and just sat on the couch, head bobbing back and forth.

He had his head back on the cushions, sockets closed, and so didn’t see as Red came out of the kitchen and stared at him for a moment, a look of pure adoration on his face, smiling. Sans startled as Red straddled his lap, taking the headphones off his head and pulling him up into a deep kiss. When he pulled away, Red smirked down at his lover, who looked a little worse for wear. Sans stared up at him, head still abuzz, and smirked.

“How about you show me a good time, lover boy.”

  
  


RottenBerry Me Too Meghan Trainor

Razz was at a loss for words. Blue was only slightly in front of him as they walked through the park. His eyes, though, couldn’t tear away from how those hips moved as he walked, swaying back and forth in a way that was just driving him nuts.

And the look of nothing but happiness and confidence every time Blue would look back at him, that smile that Razz knew Blue only used on him. Razz shook his head, speeding up until he was right beside the other, blushing a little as Blue automatically took his hand in his own. He looked over and found that beautiful face staring back at him, the other’s eyelights little cerulean hearts.

Razz was certain he was about to die if his boyfriend didn’t stop being so damn cute. 


	63. The Worst Possible Thing 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fell is the best brother ever
> 
> He is so cool

Red had his head down on the table, face down and groaning. He had lived through countless resets, countless genocide routes, been stabbed and slashed and beaten, but he could say without a single doubt in his aching head that hangovers were the fucking  _ worst _ .

Fell came into the room, stomping and slamming things as usual, and Red let out a prolonged groan that caused his brother to turn and look at him questioningly for a moment before seeming to realize what was happening. 

He snorted, then said, “That’s what you get for staying out until 3am getting drunk off your--”

Red waved one hand in the air vaguely. “Shhhhh…’s too  _ loud _ .” he mumbled, and Fell raised an eyebrow, looking down at his brother with his usual air of superiority.

“You are fucking useless, Sans, seriously.”

Red stopped his waving, and raised his head to glare at Fell. “Well, you don’t have to be fuckin’ rude about it, damn.”

Fell thought for a moment. It had been a while since he’d needled Red to the point of exasperation, and what was some good old brotherly bonding without a few death threats?

“What’s wrong, Sans?” Fell said in a voice he rarely broke out, but he knew annoyed Red to no end. “Are you tii-iiired?”

Red continued his glaring, still looking as though he wasn’t feeling like dealing with this shit, which he most certainly was not. “Fuck you, Boss,” he grumbled.

“Now who’s being rude, Sansy-pansy?”

“You know what?!” Red thundered, standing a little too suddenly and swaying a little before starting towards Fell, anger in his eyes. 

Fell smirked at him and, right at the last second, stuck one hand out, holding Red back by his forehead like you would when playing with a small child. He observed Red spitting and cursing, trying to get past his apparently impenetrable defenses, and he just couldn’t help it. He started to laugh. It felt nice, actually, taking a load off his shoulders and lightening his mood, but it just seemed to piss off his brother even more. 

The volume of Red’s swearing seemed to increase for a few moments until he finally appeared to give up, backing away and holding up his hands in surrender. 

Fell, of course, the master war strategist that he was, didn’t believe it for a second. He decided he hadn’t annoyed him quite enough however, so he lowered his hand, instead using it to pat his leg, whistling highly and making Red wince. “C’mere, boy!” he called, trying not to grin as Red appeared to pass through all five stages of grief in about ten seconds. 

He seemed to reach acceptance, and he sat down on the floor where he was, groaning. “Just...just...fuck  _ off _ , Boss,” he mumbled, and Fell smiled widely. 

Success, to the highest degree. He was so cool.


	64. What The Fuck (heh)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stretch finds out his brother is no longer a virgin, hilarity ensues.

It was common knowledge among the multiverse that if you didn't want to get lectured, you stayed as far away from UnderSwap as you possibly could. Yeah, maybe getting a firm talking to from Blue was less painful than getting smacked by Fell, but that didn't mean it was enjoyable. 

Despite their efforts, however, every set of brothers was more than familiar with what had been dubbed the “bitching pose” by Slim. One hand on his hip, the other in a fist by his side, hip cocked and glaring as dangerously as an adorable little skeleton like Blue possibly could. 

However, despite their experience with this pose, and what probably amounted to hours spent snickering over the other's misfortune at being subjected to it, no one ever expected to see it being worn by Stretch. 

The tallest member of their little...family stood in front of five of the others, with everyone except Blue and Papyrus being present. He looked absolutely  _ pissed _ , in a way that no one had really ever seen him look before. They all say there awkwardly, somewhat unsure about why they were there. 

Finally, Stretch spoke. “Which one of you motherfuckers did it?”

Sans raised one brow, giving Red a sideways glance to see if he knew what was going on. Red looked just as confused as he felt, however, so he turned his attention back to the tall skeleton before them. “I’ve done a lot of shit, Stretch,” he said, sounding almost bored. “You're gonna have to be more specific.”

Stretch growled slightly, which surprised most of them. Stretch didn't anger easily. The majority of the time, he was in the group that took great joy in pissing everyone else off. The only time they had ever seen Stretch this mad was when--

They all seemed to reach that conclusion in the same moment, and Fell half-rose out of his seat, looking worried. “Is something wrong with Blue?” he asked carefully. 

“Yes!” Stretch yelled, then he frowned and his voice quieted. “Well, no, but…”

Slim stood, coming up beside Stretch and laying a hand on his shoulder and looking at him comfortingly. “What's wrong?”

Stretch frowned and folded his arms, shrugging Slim’s hands off and glaring at the ground. 

“Blue’s not a virgin!”

There was a long moment of silence, then the sound of Red trying to choke back laughter, causing Stretch to glare up at him. “It was you!” he accused angrily.

Red’s snorting grew louder, his face turning darker as he pressed a hand across his mouth in an attempt to stifle his giggles. When he finally got ahold of himself, he was grinning and shaking his head. “Dude, he's, what, 25? Of course he's not a virgin!”

The look on Stretch’s face was unidentifiable as he stared at Red, then he growled again and opened his mouth to speak, but Red cut him off, waving one hand dismissively. “Dude, I'm  _ married _ . It wasn't me. But how are you so...Possessive about this?” 

Sans winked. “You jealous?”

Stretch’s expression didn't change as his glare shifted to Sans. “No. But he's my brother! And he's innocent and naive and of course I'm going to be pissed when I find out you assholes are taking advantage of him!”

Sans and Red both sunk into muffled giggles again, this time joined by Razz. 

“Innocent and naive?” Razz gasped out between laughs. “Are you fucking kidding me? And before you fucking ask, no, it wasn't me. He's my best friend, of course he tells me all his shit!”

Stretch glared around some more before his eyes locked on Razz. “So you know who it is?”

Razz grinned and leaned back into his chair, putting his hands behind his head in an obvious show of confidence. “I think a better question would be who it  _ isn't _ .” At the look on Stretch's face, he burst out laughing. “I'm totally fucking with you. And yeah, of course I know. But if he didn't tell you, it was probably because he knew you would react like an asshole. Look at that, he was right!”

Sans and Red started snickering again, this time joined by Slim. 

“How did you even find out he wasn’t a virgin?” Fell asked, raising one eyebrow and flipping off Red as his laughter grew louder. 

Stretch glared at him, trying to decide if he should accuse his angry alternate before deciding against it. “He was texting  _ someone _ some stuff that…” he flushed. “...I would rather not repeat.”

“Okay.” said Fell. “First of all, why the hell are you snooping through your brother’s phone? And second, couldn’t you have just looked at the contact name to figure out who it was?”

Stretch’s face turned darker. “I wasn’t snooping. It was unlocked and sitting on the counter and I didn’t even have to scroll to see it, it was just  _ there _ . And...uh…”

“What?” Razz asked with a grin, knowing exactly why Stretch was so embarrassed about the other question.

“Well…” Stretch started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I couldn’t look at the contact name because it...it wasn’t...it wasn’t the person’s real name. It was a nickname.”

Red grinned and raised an eyebrow at Razz, who nodded and snickered, causing both Red and Sans to burst out laughing again. 

“Oh my fucking…” Sans wheezed, clutching at his ribs and Red’s arm, trying not to fall off the couch. “Blue has some seriously...holy...that kinky little…”

Stretch glared at them, but as they showed no sign of stopping, he just rolled his eyes and turned away. “So which one of you was it? Which one of you has been fucking my brother?”

“Not me,” Sans and Red said at the same time, prompting them to grin at each other. 

“I already know it wasn’t you two assholes, Red already made that point!” Stretch looked to be getting even angrier. 

“Seriously, you two,” said Fell, “shut the fuck up before I make you.”

“What are you gonna do, wreck me?” Red asked, performing a lewd gesture that definitely would have gotten him smacked had Sans not spoken up.

“Nah, that’s Blue’s thing.”

The two of them and the SwapFell brothers fell into a new bout of laughter that no amount of glaring on Stretch’s part seemed to be stopping. He turned to look at Fell, who raised a brow. “No offense, but your brother is entirely too soft for my tastes.”

Stretch opened his mouth to retort, but in that moment, the door burst open and Blue ran in.

Everyone turned to look at him, taking in the huge grin and the way his chest was heaving as though he’d sprinted all the way home from waterfall. 

“Hey guys!” he chirped, barely even pausing enough to slam the front door shut before running up the stairs, giggling the whole way. “Don’t tell Papyrus I’m here!” he called behind him as he ran into Sans’ brother’s room. 

They all had barely a moment to be confused before the door flew open, Papyrus poking his head in and looking around. When he saw everyone gathered in the living room, he frowned slightly in confusion before very obviously deciding he didn’t want to know. “Have you seen Blue?” he asked.

No one answered him, and he seemed to take it as a yes, carefully entering the house and shutting the door behind him. He then jogged up the stairs, checking in the bathroom as he passed it before opening his room and walking in. There was a moment of silence, then loud laughter could be heard, followed by a loud  _ thump _ before the door flew open and Blue came flying back out, running down the stairs and into the little group, pausing just before he reached the couch to walk primly to Razz’s chair and shove him over so that he could sit next to him.

“So,” he said, completely innocently, “What are we talking about?”

Papyrus emerged from his room quietly and descended the stairs, a huge grin across his face as he began making his way down the stairs.

Stretch was staring at his brother in confusion, his eyes flicking between Blue and Papyrus as something started to occur to him. “What are you two--”

Papyrus crossed the room quickly and scooped Blue up into his arms, plopping himself down on the couch and placing Blue into his lap, wrapping his arms around him and holding him there tightly. 

Everyone in the room stared at the two for a very long moment before Stretch very slowly turned to look at Razz. “No…”

Razz was grinning widely. “Yep!”

Blue and Papyrus stared around at them, confused as Red and Sans burst into laughter again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue's contact name for Papyrus is definitely "Daddy" and Stretch is definitely now scarred for life.


	65. Imagine Your OTP 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there, more of this!!!

3-Kedgeup

It only took a split second after waking up for the memories of the night before to come rushing back into Fell’s head. He groaned, pressing his face down into the pillow, one arm reaching out in search of the warmth of his bedmate. It took a moment, but when he encountered the smaller skeleton, he pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around him and tucking his head into the crook of his neck. 

He could hear Sans chuckling, and the sound made him smile, but he refused to move or give any reaction at all, as comfortable as he truly was in this moment. 

Finally, Sans seemed to accept that he was staying in this bed for the rest of the foreseeable future, and he reached up, brushing on of his thumbs across Fell’s cheek. “Y’know, I don’t think it’s very in character for me to say this, but don’t we have to get up soon?” 

Fell groaned, shaking his head in a clear denial of any and all responsibilities he may have had. He didn’t care if the fucking barrier had been broken and humans were about to come straight into Snowdin, he wasn’t about to get up. 

Sans laughed again, and Fell could almost imagine the look on his face as he did so. Bright eyelights, wide grin, joy unlike Fell could ever seem to find in his own world. There was nothing like the skeleton in his arms anywhere else in the multiverse, no matter how many people shared his face and name. 

Sans gently pulled himself away, and Fell found his reason for staying in bed to be gone very suddenly. He blinked open his eyes and was greeted with the sight of Sans pushing himself up to sit, his ribcage reflecting the light streaming in through the window. Fell didn’t think he had ever seen anything more beautiful.

Sans yawned, stretching his arms above his head before grinning down at Fell and winking. “Wow, look at that. You’re alive.”

Fell snorted, but he made no move to retaliate. Sans grinned even wider, then scooted out of the bed, standing slowly as he stretched again. “Do you see my clothes anywhere?” he asked over his shoulder.

Fell, being a bit preoccupied with the amazing view he was currently receiving, did not reply. Sans rolled his eyelights and stepped forward, looking around the room before finally leaning over and picking up the shirt Fell had been wearing the night before, pulling it over his shoulders and beginning to button it up. Considering their difference in size, the shirt fit him more like a dress, reaching most of the way down his femurs and hanging loosely from his clavicle. 

As he finished buttoning it up, he crossed the room, pulling open the door and finally snapping Fell out of his daze.

“You know you’re going to have to give that back, right, Sans?”

Sans paused in the doorway before turning and raising a brow at his lover. There was a long pause, during which Sans seemed to be considering something. Slowly, he raised one of the too-long sleeves up to his face, pressing it to his nose, quickly followed by the other one. Fell had to inhale sharply at the unexpected show of cuteness.

Sans lowered the sleeves just long enough to say, “Fight me, Fell,” before replacing one of them and opening the door, stepping through and leaving Fell alone in the room. 

 

The Prompt Was: “After waking up, one of them puts on the other’s shirt, and when asked to give it back they just say ‘fight me’” -unknown

 

 

4-CherryBerry

If Red was being totally honest with himself, he didn’t think he would ever get to see color. He dreamed about it sometimes, but even his dreams were in black and white and shades of fucking gray. 

He sat grumpily in a corner, doing his best to ignore everyone and pretend like he wasn’t there, as though maybe if he hoped really hard, his brother never would have dragged him to this damn multiversal meetup in the first place. It felt like the cherry on top of his shit sundae when the “classic” version of himself had taken one look at him and nicknamed him Red. 

Red didn’t even know what that meant, but the others claimed it was the color of his magic. Well, fuck them. He was just going to call them gray 1, gray 2, gray 3, and so on and so forth. 

Apparently, it was a common theme for these asshole’s soulmates to be their own brothers, which he wasn’t going to judge. There’d been a time when he was much younger that he would hold onto his own Papyrus’ hand and hope beyond what he’d ever thought himself capable of that he would be able to see the color of the scarf the other wore around his neck. It never happened, and now that he was older, he understood why. 

He and his brother had just never fit together like all of  _ them _ seemed to. 

Besides, his brother had found his soulmate. He’d nodded along with all of them, grinning down at him like he was funny or something that Red now had a name he could never see the truth of. 

He was temporarily distracted by the sound of a knock on the door, but he just scowled and looked away, refusing to see another set of brothers that had gone almost their whole lives seeing in color. Fuck them. Fuck every single one of them.

There was some chattering, then Red’s brother’s voice echoed over the crowd, calling him to come say hello to the newcomers. The tone of his voice prompted no argument, and Red stood and stomped over to the group, gaze firmly fixed on the floor in his own version of rebellion. 

“Hello!” came a chipper voice, followed by a greeting by someone who seemed much calmer, to say the least. Papyrus smacked him on the shoulder, and Red grumbled again before glancing up, sticking out his hand to shake and fulfill his socialization requirement, when he was hit with the most overwhelming sight he had ever seen.

It was brighter than anything he’d ever experienced, a smooth sort of sensation hitting his eyes with a soft sort of roll in the back of his brain. He blinked, unsure exactly what was happening, before he glanced up at the person’s face. 

They were staring into his eyes almost blankly, as though they were as confused as he was, then they glanced back at the figure behind them, probably their brother. Red’s eyes followed the other’s gaze, wincing slightly as a different sensation overwhelmed his eyelights, courtesy of the sweatshirt the other wore. 

“Papy, what’s wrong with his--” This other version of himself, as he now realized he was, dropped off, staring at the same piece of clothing Red was now shielding his eyes from. “Papy, what is wrong with your sweatshirt?”

The Papyrus stared down at his brother before looking back up at Red, seeming shocked. “Sans, are you seeing in color?” he asked uncertainly, and Red’s eyes widened, eyes flicking down to the other’s bandana. He reached forward with shaking hands, brushing along the cloth and causing the other to look back at him, startled. 

“S-sorry…” he said, startled to feel his eyes beginning to feel with tears. He started to withdraw his hand, preparing to apologize for invading the other’s personal space, but the other shook his head and grabbed Red’s wrist.

“No, it’s okay! Papy tells me it’s very bright, but I didn’t know it was quite this…” he was staring down at his own clothes, seemingly enamored. Then he looked back up at Red. “W-what color are your eyes? They’re very pretty, they...they feel like...warmth.”

“They told m-me they w-were r-red,” he said struggling to speak around the lump in his throat as he reached for the other’s bandanna again. “W-what’s your--” He wanted to ask, but he couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t begin to believe that this was really, truly happening, that he was actually seeing in  _ color _ , and that his soulmate seemed to be full of so much of it.

He felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder, and turned to look at him, feeling his breath leave him as he saw the color of his eyelights. They looked the same as the T-shirt Red himself was wearing, and they were the same as the very same scarf he had spent so long just  _ staring _ at. 

Papyrus was smiling, for the first time Red could remember in years. He took a deep breath, then his voice came out, shakier than he’d ever heard it before.

“Blue, Sans. That’s blue.”

  
The Prompt Was: “AU where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate” -apharthurkirklands 


	66. Prank War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans and Red are assholes, but it's hilarious, so it's okay.

“Have you gained some weight?”

Sans glared down at Red from where he was perched on the other’s shoulders, trying to decide if he should even gratify that with a response. He settled on just turning back to look over the bush, resuming his stakeout as though the other hadn’t said a thing.

“Seriously, Sans, you weigh a fuckton, what’s up with that?”

Sans rolled his eyes, rubbing his sockets before he growled, “Do you wanna have a bad time? Because I’m about this close--,” he held his fingers very close together within the other’s sight, then continued. “--to showing you to the dangerous end of a Gaster Blaster.”

Red snorted, then shifted his position slightly, trying his very best to see through the bush despite the fact that it had long since been established that it was far too thick for that. “What is he doing?”

Sans returned his attention to the reason he was on Red’s shoulders in the first place. “He's just laying there.” He looked closer, squinting. “I think he might be about to fall asleep.”

Red hummed slightly, his excitement showing in the brightness of his eyelights. 

Sans watched for a while longer, trying to remain inconspicuous despite the fact that he was currently the top half of a double-stack of smug asshole. He was peering over a bush at the back of the Swapfell brothers’ property, an activity that probably would have been dangerous if they weren’t two of the most powerful beings in the multiverse. 

Well, if Razz or Slim saw them, they would still be screwed, but Sans was pretty sure that they wouldn’t actually  _ kill _ them. At least, he hoped not. 

Razz had been still for a good fifteen minutes when Sans finally whispered, “Okay, let me down.” Red used his blue magic to lift Sans up and drop him on his feet beside him. He let out an exaggerated groan of relief, and Sans glared at him out of the corner of his eye before turning around and picking up The Bag. 

The Bag was actually owned by Stretch, but it had been a simple matter to bribe Blue into getting it for them without the other’s knowledge. It was filled with the tools of his trade, if being an asshole was a trade. 

Sans and Red snuck carefully across the yard, going to the front door, where Red dropped to one knee and began picking the lock. Sans glanced around nervously, watching out for anyone watching them. Just because Slim was currently at the bar didn’t mean he’d  _ stay _ at the bar, after all, and if he saw them breaking into his house, they’d have a slim (heh) chance of making it to the machine before he caught them. 

The door opened and they quietly stepped inside, Sans searching their surroundings once more before closing the door behind them. 

“This is a terrible idea,” came Red’s voice from behind him, and Sans turned to see his alternate staring into the living room, a worried look on his face. Sans followed his gaze to see a line of leather crops laid out on the coffee table, and he had to stifle a laugh at the casualness of it. _No, we don’t need potted plants here in SwapFell,_  he thought, _We put out our torture devices/sex toys as decoration!_ His giggling started to get the best of him, and Red clapped a hand over his mouth, giving a meaningful look at the door behind which their goal lay. 

When Sans finally had ahold of himself, they walked across the room and started up the stairs. They avoided the creaky steps with practiced ease, used to sneaking around their own houses, and when they reached the landing, it was a simple manner to stay silent until they reached the second door. 

Red placed a hand on the handle, then turned to face Sans.  _ Ready? _ He mouthed, and Sans nodded. He eased the door open, then beckoned for Sans to precede him. He shot the other a dirty look, knowing that Red just didn’t want to go in first in case Razz was somehow awake, but proceeded anyway. 

As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he took in the sight in front of him. Razz was curled around a pillow, his face peaceful and his eyes closed, breathing softly. The little shit was almost cute. 

Red appeared at his side, having left the door slightly ajar in case they needed a quick escape. He nudged Sans, and pointed at the bedside table, where there was a little book clearly labeled “Diary”.

Sans glared at him and shook his head, and Red gave him an exaggerated frown of disappointment. He started to sign something in hands, but Sans flipped him off before he could get more than a word or two in. 

They crossed the room to stand beside the other’s bed, and Sans finally set The Bag down, kneeling beside it to dig through in search of what they needed. Finally, he grinned, standing back up and holding out a Sharpie and a can of shaving cream towards Red. 

Red muffled a spurt of laughter that threatened to give them away, then he took the Sharpie, going closer to Razz as Sans quietly opened the can, opting to forgo shaking it. 

As he walked to join Red, however, Razz moved, causing them both to freeze in their tracks, staring down at him with almost the exact same expression of horror on their faces. After a moment of terrified silence, however, Razz seemed to relax again, his breathing slowing back down and a quiet snore slipping out of his mouth. They breathed a sigh of relief, and Red carefully knelt on the bed to reach the other’s face, very carefully beginning to draw the outline of a ridiculous pair of glasses around the other’s eye sockets. 

Sans giggled silently for a moment before going to the other side of the bed and making a very impressive Afro of shaving cream on and around the sleeping skeleton’s head. Red finished the glasses and started on a large curlicue mustache as Sans finished his own artwork and stood back up, crossing to The Bag and grabbing a container of honey before returning. He began to dribble the sticky liquid on the ribs that were exposed, deciding not to be creepy and pull the blanket down any farther than it already was. 

Sans had just finished with the honey and Red was three letters into writing the word “loser” on the other’s forehead when they heard a door shut downstairs and footsteps begin to cross the living room to the stairs. They froze, making panicked eye contact, before Red stuck the Sharpie in a pocket and began signing rapidly, to which Sans just stared at him in confusion before shaking his head quickly. This was not the time for complicated battle plans.

He got off the bed quickly, running as quietly as he could for The Bag before turning and beckoning to the other to come closer. 

Red obeyed, and as soon as he was in range, Sans grabbed his arm, preparing to take a shortcut. The door cracked open just as he gathered his magic, taking them out of the room with a loud  _ crack _ .

 

Slim’s drunk mind wasn’t quite sure how to process the scene before him. Had that been Sans and Red? What had they been doing here?

At the crack, Razz had snapped awake, sitting up quickly and almost immediately realizing that something was wrong. He raised one hand to his sternum, and when it came away sticky, he swore loudly. 

Slim had done a lot of hard things in his life. He’d lived through far too many resets, been dusted and tortured and a thousand other things. But he could quite honestly say that the most difficult thing he had ever done was trying not to laugh as he turned to face his brother. 

Razz, the captain of the royal guard, bringer of pain and misery to his enemies, quite honestly one of  _ the _ most powerful people in the underground, had been...decorated. There was shaving cream on his head, what looked like honey on his ribs, and Slim didn’t even know where to begin with what was happening on his face. 

Razz caught the look of suppressed hilarity, and frowned deeply. “What?!” he growled.

Well fuck. There was no good answer here, was there? He edged back towards the door, planning to make an escape to his room so that he could let this out where he wouldn’t get in trouble for it, but Razz stopped him with a gesture. “What?” he repeated, looking angry. “Is there more than just the honey?”

Slim whined slightly as he had to place a hand over his own mouth to stop the laughter that was far too close to breaking out. Once he had collected himself, he straightened his back, then, trying not to smile, said, “They seem to be getting better at the glasses, m’Lord, but their spelling could use some work.”

Razz’s eyes widened as he caught the implications of what the other was saying, and he leaped out of bed, running for the bathroom in just his shorts.

Slim was only able to keep his giggling quiet until he heard the bathroom door slam and the loud screech that followed the other reaching the mirror. 

“THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!”


	67. Babybones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is nearly word-for-word (I did edit it a little bit) an RP I had on shamchat today! UF!Papyrus is a babybones, played by the stranger, and UF!Sans is some sort of adultish age, played by me. I had a lot of fun with this and we had the beginning of a time skip with more but we didn't get a chance to finish because I had to go, but hey, if we ever do that part, I'll post it too! 
> 
> This was a lot of fun! I've been getting into Shamchat recently, and I'm not on all the time but hey I'll start using the tag "CrushingOnSans" whenever I'm on if you guys want to add it to your lists and try to find me lol, I'd love to RP with you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was definitely listening to Yonce while I was re-reading and editing this, that's definitely appropriate music for this scene, right? *snickering somewhere in the background*

**Babybones**

Sans: *searching around the house, grinning widely as he looks for his baby brother* Paps?

Papyrus: *The little skeleton covered his mouth to try and contain his giggles as he hides behind the couch*

Sans: *he knows exactly where Papyrus is, but is playing along, as always. It’s more fun this way* Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Papyrus: *He's not falling for that obvious trick! Silly big brother, the Great Papyrus is the best hider ever! Though, the younger felt restless staying in one place for too long. Always had, but now he didn't have to stay in one place for god knows how long. Papyrus peered from the side of the couch, watching*

Sans: *he ducks out of sight and sneaks up to the opposite sight of the couch before popping out in full view of the other* Boo!

Papyrus: *Papyrus most certainly did not let out a high pitched and girlish scream, nor did he run away and stumble as he tried to get away. Nuh uh. That certainly didn't happen, rather, he knew his brother was going to surprise him! Yes! And this is a tactical retreat! And the rug surely tripped him. Papyrus ran and giggled as he made his way for the stairs, honestly being the loudest right now* Nononono! Nyehehe!

Sans: *chases him across the room, scooping him up just before he reaches the stairs and tickling his ribs* I got you! You'll never get away from the tickle monster!

Papyrus: *Drat! The Great Papyrus has been captured! The assault is real! Papyrus flailed and laughed loudly under his brother's attack, trying to (so gently) bonk his little fists on his skull* NYEHEHAHAHHh SSsaAnnS NNOOOOO-eeHHHhaha!!

Sans: *captures the other by the wrists, grinning and finally setting him down* Do you want to play again?

Papyrus: *Papyrus had to catch his breath, his chest expanding and compressing as he filled himself with air, a bit of giggles sneaking out. Sweet merciful land greeted his feet as he nodded his head excitably* Yeayeayea! You turn to hide!

Sans: *nods* Alrighty, close your eyes. Do you know how to count to 50?

Papyrus: *Papyrus closed his eye sockets, covering them with his hands for good measure as he nodded* Uhhuh! Think so! gogo!"

Sans: *hides (more or less) under the kitchen table, not trying very hard to be quiet*

Papyrus: ONE, TWO, TREE, FOUR... *Papyrus tried to count, more or less to what he felt like was fifty, sometimes the number would be made up because he forgot how that one was said. In reality, he probably counted to 25 before removing his hands from his eye sockets as he looked around* "READY! I COME FIND YOU!" *Papyrus declared as he first checked his former hiding space behind the couch*

Sans: *watching him with a giant grin across his face, his spine starting to ache from the way he's hunched over under the table*

Papyrus: *Papyrus thoroughly checked the couch, even lifting some of the couch cushions to see if his sneaky big brother could fit himself between there. Finding no luck, he turned to the kitchen- catching Sans under the table with a loud gasp!* SEE YOU! NYAAAAAH! *Papyrus let out a very manly battle cry as he attempted to charge at Sans*

Sans: *catches him neatly, wrapping him up in a bear hug and starting to tickle him again* What's wrong, Paps? Somethin' funny?

Papyrus: *A look of utter betrayal crosses his face as he's thrown in another fit of laughter. No!! Captured again! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO THE CRAFTY PAPYRUS?* NYEHHAHAHHEEEHHH NNOOO FFEHHHAIIRR SSAEHEHNNS!!! *All this laughing had him coughing and gasping for air*

Sans: *pauses to let him catch his breath, chuckling and still holding him tightly* I think you might be trapped here forever.

Papyrus: *And he expresses being grateful for this pity gesture as he wiggled in this hug* Noo! How I pose to take o'er de world Sans! *He protested as he patted his arms against Sans chest to try and push and be free*

Sans: *mock insulted* I thought I was the world, bro?

Papyrus: *Papyrus paused for a moment, suddenly looking a little guilty* You are! I mean diiiis world, San! Gotta take o'er so I can make it a nice place for us t'be in! *He tried to explain as best he could with his little kid words*

Sans: *smiling softly down at him* Well, Paps, if anyone was going to fix this shitty world, of course it would be you.

Papyrus: *Papyrus beamed wide at the smile on his brother and his praise, threw himself to hug- or try with his itty bitty arms* I gonn fix it! I will! You help me too, broder?

Sans: *holds him tightly, wishing the world could be what this tiny skeleton deserves* Of course, Paps. I'll help you as much I ever can.

Papyrus: "You proooomise?" He inquired, with his brother's help, surely the two of them can make a better place! He just needs to get bigger and stronger first.

Sans: *he hates promises, but he doesn't even hesitate* Of course. I promise.

 

 **Swap** (I found the same Stranger again, and we did another one, so I'm adding it to this chapter!)

  
US!Sans: Papy!  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: Yeah, bro? Did you need something?  


 

  
US!Sans: Yes! You still have that darn sock on the floor!  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: I don't really give a shit Sans.  


 

  
US!Sans: Papy! Watch your language!  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: Don't you have anything better to do than bitch at me all day over mediocre bullshit?  


 

  
US!Sans: I-I don't...is something wrong?  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: You. You are something wrong.  


 

  
US!Sans: What did I--  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: Your voice gives me an incredibly painful headache, I'm sick of listening to all your shouting for no good reason.  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: You are annoying and irritating and I wish you'd shut the fuck up for once.  


 

  
US!Sans: *opens his mouth, then closes it, staring at Papyrus wide-eyed*  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: *He waits, then smiles though it doesn't reach his eye sockets.* That's /much/ better. Keep it up. And go make yourself useful, go outside and check on your pathetic and stupid puzzles by yourself. Can you handle that much, /brother/? *He says the term of endearment venomously.*  


 

  
US!Sans: *tears fill his eyes, but he pushes them away angrily. His voice lacks its usual excitement* What did I /do/? This isn't like you!  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: Not like me? Oh that's so /rich/! *He laughs, something low and bitter, then turns his glare to him.* Go on. Get. I don't want to see your stupid fucking face until its time for dinner.  


 

  
US!Sans: *he puts his hands on his hips, glaring up at him* Oh, and I suppose I'll be the one to make it, then? My face is fine when I'm doing something to help you!  


 

  
Underswap Papyrus: Nah, it's /barely/ tolerable as it is. Though that cute face of yours is going to get you in real trouble some day. And your 'precious brother' won't be there to save your sorry ass. *He moves to go up the stairs.* Don't fucking bother me, I'm going to take a nap.  


 

  
US!Sans: *standing in the living room, watching him go for a moment before he glares down at his feet. Then he spins around and leaves the house, slamming the door behind him and stomping off in the direction of his puzzles*  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* I have something special happening for chapter 69 because maturity, who can guess who I'm going to be writing about?
> 
> Bonus conversation I had with someone where they were Kid!Sans and I was Sans (not the same person lol)  
> Sans: It's all gonna be okay i promise  
> Sans: well no it's not  
> Sans: but hey, it could be worse?  
> Sans: maybe  
> Kid!Sans: stranger danger


	68. Sleeping Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have written this entire thing for the excuse to use one line...

Red had always had trouble sleeping. Whether from nightmares or the strangely ironic phenomenon of being too tired to fall asleep, he was always hovering on the verge of exhaustion. 

When he was a child, he had always gone to Papyrus, sitting beside his crib and watching the rise and fall of his brother’s chest and letting it lull him into a doze, which seemed to be as close as he could get. Of course, once Papyrus got old enough to talk, he told Red to stay the hell out of his room and stop watching him like a creepy fucker. That was just the kind of loving relationship they had, and that’s what had lasted through the rest of their childhood and far into their adult lives. Red didn’t mind. Strangely enough, he enjoyed the relationship with his brother. Something touchy-feely just wouldn’t have made sense in the world they lived in.

It was only once he met Blue that he realized the cause of his troubles. It was strange, really, that he had gone so long without knowing that the reason he could never fall asleep was because he was so incredibly  _ alone _ . It was even more strange that he only figured it out when he wasn’t alone anymore.

They weren’t...together. Not really. Neither of them really had an interest in things like that. They were close, sure, but Red certainly didn’t feel any romantic overtones, and he was almost completely certain that Blue felt the same way. Red had never really had a best friend before, but from what he’d heard, this is what it felt like. He could tell Blue anything and everything, open up in a way he hadn’t really even known was possible, let alone felt this good. Blue shared himself in return, letting his false smile fall from his face, a more quiet contentment coming in to replace his usual excitable personality. They could stay up until all hours, talking about nothing while also managing to express the deepest parts of them like they’d never been able to before. 

It was on one such night that Blue asked why he never slept. Red shrugged and explained that he’d always had trouble with it, only very rarely being able to relax enough to fall asleep on purpose and otherwise just passing out when his body could no longer handle it. Blue had looked thoughtful, his naturally optimistic mind immediately looking for ways to solve the problem. 

“What if I read you a bedtime story?”

Red had given him a doubtful look, to which Blue rolled his eyes. “I’m perfectly aware that you are not a child. It’s not the story that helps you fall asleep, it’s the…” He paused, searching for words. “It’s the person reading to you. The voice, the whole...atmosphere of it. It’s peaceful, you know?”

That sounded...well, to be honest, it sounded stupid as hell, but Blue was looking at him in that hopeful way he did sometimes, and Red just couldn’t get himself to actually tell him that. So he’d agreed, and the smaller had jumped up, grabbing him by the arm and practically dragging him up the stairs to their shared room. He pushed him over, and Red fell onto the air mattress that had become his bed in the time since he’d ended up here. He started laughing at the abruptness of it, and Blue grinned at him over his shoulder before grabbing a book and coming back, forcibly shoving Red over so that he could sit next to him, book in hand and back against the wall. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it up, throwing it over Red’s face and practically shoving the ends of it under him, trapping him in a well-constructed burrito trap, rendering him unable to move. Red laughed harder, wiggling helplessly for a moment before Blue smacked him with the book, giving him a look that clearly said to shut the fuck up and let him read. 

The really weird part of this whole thing was that it  _ worked _ . Blue read some stupid book about a bunny, and Red didn’t listen to a single word, but he fell asleep in just a few minutes. When he woke up the next morning, Blue was in his own bed, and Red was still trapped in his blanket burrito, but he wasn’t...he wasn’t  _ tired _ . It took him a moment to come to terms with it, but when he did, he smiled more widely than he thought he ever had before, tears filling his eyes for a moment before he blinked them away, rolling his eyes at his own lame emotions. 

The next night, Blue read to him again. This time it was a random book about physics he’d grabbed off of his bookshelf, but the inflections in his voice and the wide gestures he made with his arms could have made you believe that he was reading a grand tale of an epic adventure. Red laughed a bit, but before he knew it, his eyes had fallen shut and he was asleep. 

It became a pattern, any night that Blue was home, he would read to Red. And Red would sleep. For the first time in his life, he would sleep all the way through the night, and he didn’t wake up screaming. It was surreal. 

Once, he and Blue were up late, talking as usual, sitting on Blue’s bed and utterly unconcerned with the fact that it was far past midnight. Blue was caught up in a story about Alphys, a story Red had already heard many times before but never failed to make him laugh. It was only a few minutes into the story, however, that Red’s eyes shut and his head fell sideways to rest on Blue’s shoulder. 

He didn’t think he’d ever even thought about what it would feel like to wake up next to someone. He’d never had the desire to be romantic with anyone, and that felt like something that could only ever be romantic. But the way he woke up, relaxed and warm and so incredibly  _ happy _ almost made him wish he could do this all the time. Of course, Blue echoed his thought aloud almost immediately upon Red waking up. This was something that was happening with increasing frequency, and Red wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about having someone think so much like he did that they seemed to be able to read his mind. 

But he was so damn comfortable…

So they went with it. Their nightly routine changed places, and Red went to sleep next to him every night and woke up every morning warm and feeling safe in a way he’d never even imagined before. 

Yesterday had been a weird morning. He’d woken up alone, which felt strange in and of itself, but it was because Blue was staying the night with Alphys. It was starting to get easier to fall asleep without him, probably because his body was getting used to this new occurrence called sleep. But he still missed him, not wanting to get up when the room seemed so much colder than usual. He did it anyway, of course, knowing that if Blue got home and both he and Stretch were still in bed, there would be hell and very long lectures to pay. 

He was home now, of course, and Red was just on the verge of waking up. His head was tucked into Blue’s chest and Blue had one arm around his shoulders, his free hand holding his phone as he checked his texts or played a game or whatever he did in the morning while he waited for Red to wake up. 

Blue noticed his eyes blinking open and shut off his phone, setting it aside and grinning down at him. “Sleep well?”

Red just groaned and squeezed his eyes shut again, causing Blue to chuckle slightly before he started to roll off to the side, planning to get out of bed and stop lazing around. He would never leave Red to wake up alone, but Blue wasn’t one to waste time, so he tended to get up fairly quickly once he opened his eyes. Today, though, Red’s soul clenched at the thought of being left alone. Maybe it was the residual loneliness from the morning before, maybe it was the fact that it was a few degrees colder than usual in the room, he didn’t know, but he reached out and grabbed Blue around the waist, pulling him back against him and prompting the other to burst out into surprised laughter. 

“Red, what are you--”

“Five more minutes, Blue, pleeaaasseee?”

Blue snorted and settled back into bed, wrapping him back up and allowing himself to relax. “Fine. Five minutes. I’m timing you.”

Red laughed and let his eyes drift shut, absorbing as much of this feeling as he possibly could. “How was your day yesterday?”

He felt Blue shrug. “It was fine. I got some training done, and Alphys complimented me on my magic control again!” 

Red grinned at the repressed excitement in the other’s voice. As much as his friend pretended to be hyper and narcissistically optimistic, he was still generally happy and excited about life. Compliments, though he automatically reacted with an “I know” instead of a “thank you”, meant a lot to him. 

“Of course she did. You can change the shape of your eyelights. I don’t know anyone else that has enough control to do that.”

Blue shifted slightly, and Red knew he was blushing by the way he could hear him rubbing his cheeks in a vain attempt to make it go away. He snorted slightly, and Blue bonked him on the head. “Shut up, I can’t help it. I have too much magic in my system, you know that!”

“So do I, but you don’t see my cheeks goin’ all pink like a blushing bride, do ya?” 

Blue smacked him again. “No, you just light up your eyes all the time so that you can pretend to be a bada...so you can pretend to be hardcore!”

Red snorted as Blue censored himself, then propped himself up slightly, looking down at him and pushing magic to smoke from his eyes. “Pretend, huh?”

Blue raised a brow, and started poking at Red’s ribs, causing him to burst into surprised giggles, trying to push Blue away and failing. “Yes, pretend. You are  _ so _ not that--

In that moment, the door was pushed open, and Stretch walked into the room, opening his mouth to speak but coming to a complete stop at the sight that greeted him. 

Blue still had his hands on Red’s ribs, and both of their faces were colored in bright flushes. In trying to get away from the hold the other had on him, Red had somehow managed to lay halfway across him in a way that probably looked extremely odd.

They all just stared at each other for a moment, then Stretch backed out the door, slamming it shut behind him and yelling, “Oh my  _ god _ , Sans, lock the door next time!”

Red burst out laughing, causing Blue to mock-glare up at him before pushing him off good-naturedly and getting up to follow his brother. Red was left to laugh as Blue opened the door and walked out, yelling back, “There was no reason to lock the door! Red and I sleep together all the time!”

Red started shaking with a whole new round of laughter, hands pressed over his eyes as he felt his face heat up.

“Well I don’t want to have to see it!” Stretch yelled back, and from the sound of it, he was almost to the front door. Red was hit with the mental image of Stretch doing his best to escape into the depths of Snowdin while Blue chased after him, yelling things that definitely needed more context, and he had to take a few deep breaths to stop himself from snorting with laughter. 


	69. Lust (Chapter 69 special)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look, a Chapter 69 Special no one asked for!  
> I really fuckin love Lust, like...way more than I should. 
> 
> This is almost like Megalovania except I didn't time myself, I just listened to the songs on repeat while I wrote. I highly recommend listening to the songs with some of these, especially ones where a song or dancing is mentioned.

**RoommateBros(Fell and Lust)** \--- _Give Me Love Ed Sheeran_

“Hey, do you know how to dance?” 

Fell sighed slightly, looking up from the TV screen and at his roommate. “No. Then again, neither do you. Never knew we had so much in common.”

Lust folded his arms and cocked a brow, giving Fell The Look as he turned his attention to the TV.

“Well, we’re going to have to learn. We have that wedding next week and you  _ know _ Blue is going to make us.”

“What, are you going to teach us both? That’s definitely going to turn out well.”

Lust huffed impatiently and crossed the room, tugging Fell to his feet and turning off the TV all in one motion. He then walked backwards, still holding onto Fell’s hand and basically dragging him along with him. 

Fell was grinning in spite of himself, preparing to help Lust keep his balance when he inevitably tripped over his own feet. In a miracle of miracles, they made it to the middle of the living room without incident, and Lust placed one hand on Fell’s hip, smirking up at him as he nodded sideways at his shoulder.

“You are not fucking leading,” Fell said, raising a brow as he forcibly removed the hand at his waist and placing it on his shoulder. 

Lust chuckled. “So this is happening, then?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

 

\--- _Just One Yesterday Fall Out Boy_

“Oh, so you think you can beat me, huh?”

“No, dipshit, I  _ know _ I can beat you.”

“Wow, Fell, that’s a lot of confidence for someone who’s about to get their ass kicked.”

“Who is kicking who’s ass here?”

“I’ll kick your ass. I’ll kick anybody’s ass. I’ll kick my own ass, fight me.”

“That doesn’t even-- _ fuck you get away! _ \--make sense!”

“I don’t really give a shit, don’t you fuckin  _ dare _ \--!”

“HA! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BEST THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!”

“Calm the hell down and get ready for another round, I’m going to win this time.”

“Ganondorf is going to kick Sonic’s smurf ass into the void, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Yeah, that’s what you think, motherfucker, get ready for the reckoning!”

“What the fuck does that even mean,  _ fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off! _ ”

“WHAT IN THE  _ WORLD _ IS UP?!!”

“I’m never playing this game with you again.”

“Aw, c’mon, don’t be a sore loser, come back so I can beat you again!”

“Eat a damn dick!” 

 

**Tango(Lust/Dance)** \--- _Company Justin Bieber_

His music was blasting through his headphones, reverberating through his skull and probably loud enough to break eardrums he didn’t even have. Despite (or perhaps because of) the volume, Lust found himself enjoying cleaning the bathroom far more than he would in any other situation. 

As the chorus came on, he rocked his hips back and forth, spraying Windex on the mirror in time with the beat. He grabbed the roll of paper towels, opting to dance with it instead of actually cleaning like he was supposed to be. 

He was vocalizing absentmindedly, unable to hear himself over the sound of the song, and Dance peeked in from the hall, where he had been passing by on his way to the kitchen. At the sight of Lust nearly tripping over the mop as he tried to spin, he stifled a giggle. He could hear the music through the other’s headphones, and he bobbed his head along to the beat, leaning against the doorway and waiting for Lust to notice him.

Lust tried to spin again and caught sight of his boyfriend in the entrance to the bathroom. A purple blush lit up his cheeks, and he froze, wide-eyed, before a sheepish grin spread across his face. He was obviously embarrassed at being caught, but he had never really been one to stay embarrassed. His hips began to sway again as he set down the paper towels and danced his way over to Dance, holding out one hand and singing along badly.

Dance chuckled and accepted the hand, letting himself be pulled into the bathroom and swung around. He could still hear the other’s music, echoed by the out-of-tune sound of Lust’s own rendition, and it made him smile. 

Lust pulled away, still swaying his hips as he lifted his arms into the air, winking smugly.

Show-off.

 

\--- _I Don’t Wanna Live Forever Zayn & Taylor Swift_

“What are we watching?”

“Porn.”

“Shut the fuck up, Lust. What are we watching?”

“I’m telling you, it’s porn!”

“...I swear to god, Lust, if it’s the Bee Movie I’m going to kill you.”

“I would never. Give me some popcorn and scoot over.”

“Lust, this is the Bee Movie.”

“No it’s not!”

“Then why the hell does that dvd case say--”

“Hey, just shush and scoot over. It’s my turn to choose the movie.”

“I’m making you watch Camp Rock next week.”

“Joke’s on you, I love that movie. Selena Gomez is the bomb.”

“You are a dumbass, that is Demi Lovato.”

“...Isn’t that like the same thing?”

“It’s like you  _ want _ me to beat you.”

“Hey, don’t be rude, watch the cinematic masterpiece that has been presented before you.”

 

**Rust(Lust/Red)** \--- _I Write Sins Not Tragedies PATD_

“Haven’t you noticed them spending a lot more time together?”

Fell looked down at Blue, raising a brow for a moment before shifting his glance to Red and the version of his brother from UnderLust. “I suppose. What of it?”

Blue shrugged. “I just wonder sometimes if something is going on between them.”

Fell snorted. “Like what? Friends with benefits? Red would never be so casual and I don’t think Lust is even capable of  _ not _ being so casual.”

Blue hummed in thought, then shrugged. “I think there might be more to him than you seem to think, Fell. You have to give people the benefit of the doubt.”

Fell snorted, turning back to the dishes as Blue started back on drying them. 

~~~

“What about...Waterfall?”

Red raised a brow at him, snickering slightly. “You’re kidding me, right? You have all of the surface at your fingertips and you’re gonna go with  _ Waterfall _ ?”

Lust gave him a look, then, after sneaking a look over his shoulder to make sure Fell and Blue were thoroughly occupied with the dishes, he reached out and grasped Red’s hand, intertwining their fingers and planting a quick kiss on his knuckles before pulling the hands into his lap. “There is nothing on the surface as beautiful as the echo flower caverns.”

Red huffed slightly, adjusting so that their shoulders were just barely touching, close but still innocent enough that if any of the others walked in, it could be explained away. “But we can go there anytime. This is supposed to be the kind of trip you’ll never forget.”

Lust winked. “It will be unforgettable as long as I’m with you.”

Red snorted, choosing to ignore the blush that cropped up across his face. “That was so fucking corny.”

Lust laughed, nodding. “I know. But, I mean…” he glanced behind him again before lowering his voice, not wanting to risk the other’s hearing him. “So is an  _ anniversary _ . Like...who celebrates being married for five years by going on vacation?” 

Red shrugged slightly, a small smile on his face as he thought about it. “I mean, who needs a reason to go on vacation?”

“Hmmm...true. Y’know, we never actually talked about this, but how exactly are we explaining this one away?”

“I’ll just tell Boss I’m leaving for two weeks and he can fuck off.”

Lust snorted. “Aren’t we supposed to be the ones who--”

“Lust, I will kill you, don’t think I won’t.”

 

\--- _Bacon Nick Jonas_

Red had always been serious. It was easy to see the difference between the coping mechanism of bad jokes and stupid puns and the real joy that came from his rare moments of humor. Lust was proud to be the one that could break him out of his shell, even if it sometimes resulted in moments such as these. No, scratch that,  _ especially _ when it resulted in moments like this. 

Lust had bought some new music to listen to as he organized the stacks of paper his brother had dumped on him without any apparent reason. There were stacks upon stacks of documents, most of which he couldn’t even begin to understand.

Red came in just as the song changed, head tilted to one side as he listened and ignoring the questioning look Lust was giving him. Then the chorus hit.

Red immediately set about making a fool of himself, bouncing his shoulders and jumping up and down, letting his arms bounce around wildly as he moved. Lust burst into startled laughter watching him, and he stopped his wild jumping in favor of some sort of semi-sexual hip motion that Lust didn’t even know how to begin to describe, setting him off into  a whole new round of laughter. 

Red did his best to hide a smile, continuing to dance like he’d never even heard of the concept, thoroughly enjoying entertaining the other.

The chorus came around again, and he started to bounce again, this time waving his arms wildly above his head like he was trying to alert someone of a fire. There was no attempt to even come close to following a beat, and Lust didn’t think he’d ever watched something quite as hilarious.

Red started to “dance” his way over to the other, winking as he tried to lower himself to the other’s level and ended up just falling over, laying on his back and shaking with laughter along with his boyfriend. 

Lust grinned at he started to calm down, setting his papers aside to lean over and plant a quick kiss on Red’s mouth, wishing he could ever even begin to tell him how much he loved him. 

 

**Errotic(Lust/Error)** \--- _Love Me Now John Legend_

“Will you please go on a date with me?”

Lust grinned at Error despite the murderous glare he was currently on the receiving end of. 

“Why the hell would I go on a date with you?”

Lust snorted. “Well, Error, it’s kind of what people  _ do _ when they’re dating. They date.”

Error was still glaring at him, but it had softened some. “You know I don’t like crowds, Lust. What could we possibly--”

“Don’t worry about that!” Lust exclaimed, holding out his hand in a way that left enough space that Error could easily refuse. 

Error sighed and took the hand, allowing Lust to pull him forward slightly. “Fine. Let’s do...whatever the fuck you do on a date.”

Lust grinned at him, pumping his fist and exclaiming, “Dating! Start!”

Error snorted. “Fuck off.”

Lust lead him outside and down the street, and when they stopped outside Grillby’s Error’s eyes went wide. “Lust, I don’t fucking like crowds, you said--”

“I know what I said. Trust me, okay?” Lust said, smiling gently at him and pulling him through the doors. Error was digging his heels in, but Lust just kept with it, knowing better than anyone else in the multiverse that all it took was some persistence. 

When they got inside, Error seemed to be trying to tug his hand away from Lusts, but he stopped dead when he saw the inside of the restaurant. 

It was completely empty, the only sign of even Grillby being a faint glow through the back doors. He stared in confusion at the booths, trying to figure out why no one was here at 6:00 on a Friday. The place should have been swarmed with the dinner crowd, he should be panicking at the thought of accidentally bumping into someone or having to listen to the multitude of overlapping voices grating inside his skull. 

“W-what in the--”

Lust grinned, gently steering him to a booth that was laid out with tablecloth and two meals, a few flowers in a vase off to the side.  _ Cheesy bastard… _

“I asked Grillby if he’d be okay clearing out the restaurant for me one night, and he said no problem. A long-time customer like myself? Anything!” 

Error could hear the lilt of a lie in the other’s voice, and he was brought up short by the thought of what Lust must have had to do to make this happen. 

“...thank you.”

Lust grinned at him as they sat down. “What was that?”

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not saying it again.”

 

\--- _Shape of You Ed Sheeran_

“How could you possibly want to be with me?!” Error was practically screaming, the anger he couldn’t control trying to find someone,  _ anyone _ to direct itself onto. “How could you even  _ function _ with someone like me? I can’t even touch you without feeling like….like…” He was dangerously close to tears now, and he wasn’t even sure he even had the ability to cry.

Lust stepped forward, his posture open, his arms drifting up slightly from his sides, absolutely everything about his body language screaming that he was there if Error wanted physical comfort, but not forcing it. Never forcing it.

“Error, I don’t care if I can’t touch you, I just want you. You, all by yourself, are enough for me.”

Error was at a loss for words. He...he couldn’t possibly be enough. He never had been before, not even for himself. And especially with the way that Lust lived his life, showed his affection. He could never be enough for someone like that. “B-but I--”

“Error!” Lust’s eyelights grew brighter for a moment, his emotion shining through as he tried to find a way to express himself with only his words. “Please. You  _ are _ enough. I promise.” His mouth opened, then closed tightly as he seemed to choke on his next statement. Then determination filled his expression, and he said firmly, “I love you.”

He...he  _ what? _

 

**WitheredLove(Lust/Razz)** \--- _Say You Won’t Let Go James Arthur_

Razz pushed the door open with a curse, one hand pressed to his broken rib and the other to the wall as he attempted to stay standing on his injured leg. He carefully nudged the door closed behind him, hoping to Toriel that Lust was upstairs and asleep.

He made his way into the kitchen, accidentally knocking over a chair and letting out more loud swearing at the loud noise it made. He limped to the drawer that held first aid supplies, digging around in search of something to wrap up his ribs.

“Razz?”

He cursed again, quieter this time, gripping onto the edge of the counter as he considered what to do. “I’m...uh….” He needed to get him to leave, to stop him from coming into the kitchen and seeing this mess. It would just worry him, and that was the last thing Razz wanted. He heard footsteps crossing the carpet in the living room, and he panicked, shouting the first thing that came to mind. “Don’t come in here, I’m naked!”

What the  _ fuck? _

Lust started to laugh, continuing towards him. “Well now I have to come--” he came to a stop as he entered the kitchen, and Razz could hear the sharp intake of breath as he saw the cracks and dents, and  _ shit _ he was bleeding all over the floor and he hadn’t even noticed. “Razz, what the hell?! What happened?”

He felt his legs give out from under him and he collapsed to the floor in the same moment that Lust reached him. Razz looked up at him hazily, catching sight of the tears in Lust’s eyes, and immediately felt the crushing weight of guilt wash over him. “Hey, wait, don’t  _ cry _ , that’s not…” he coughed suddenly, and Lust’s eyes blew wide with panic, reaching up and grabbing the things Razz had been trying to get, pushing his hands aside and removing his damaged armor, practically throwing it aside as he focused on the other’s ribs.

As Lust worked, Razz let out the occasional whimper of pain. He knew, somewhere, in the back of his mind, that he shouldn’t do that, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember why. This was  _ Lust _ , why would he care if he showed a little weakness? He found himself focusing intently on the purple streaks of the other’s tears, wishing he could make it stop but knowing that it was every noise he was letting slip through that was increasing their frequency. Maybe that was why he didn’t want to make the sounds. 

Lust finished with his ribs, patching up his leg and the other small injuries he found, working intently and refusing to look at Razz’s face. Why wouldn’t he--

Lust seemed to finish, but he still wouldn’t look up, his sobs increasing in frequency until his face was buried in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. Razz pushed himself forward painfully, carefully wrapping his arms around Lust and kissing his cheeks, and as clarity began to return, he apologized, over and over again, for worrying him, for letting him see, until Lust finally seemed to regain the ability to speak.

“That’s not what I’m fucking crying about, you asshole!” he cried, but Razz could see that his anger was false, stemming from stress and...was that worry? “You could have died!”

Razz shook his head, pulling him close again. “You’re not going to be rid of me that easily,” he joked, and Lust let out a choked noise that Razz supposed was probably a laugh.

“Don’t ever do that again, or I’ll break your ribs myself.”

Razz laughed, wincing as the action made his ribs sting. “I have no doubt of that. And don’t worry, okay? I won’t.”

Lust held him tighter, seeming to be trying to reassure himself that he was still there, and not a pile of dust. “I fucking love you, you moron.”

Razz snorted, kissing him on the side of the head and returning the hug, trying not to let the other know he was hurting him. “You too, asshole.”

 

\--- _All the Way Schmoyoho_

When Lust found out that Razz had never been to a carnival, he, of course, immediately made plans to take him to one. He didn’t actually  _ tell _ Razz where they were going when he suggested going out, since he was pretty sure the other would reject the idea because of the ridiculous image of himself he worked so hard to maintain. He never could have imagined the reaction of his smaller lover when they arrived.

Razz was staring, open-mouthed, up at the giant ferris wheel, stars in his eyes that for once, he wasn’t trying to hide. He spun around suddenly, seizing Lust by the wrists and practically screaming “What the fuck is that?!”

Lust snorted. “What is what?”

Razz gave him a look, but the stars in his eyes didn’t fade. He gestured vaguely up at the ferris wheel again, the look of wonder returning as he looked at it. 

“Oh!” Lust said, like he didn’t already know what he was talking about. “That’s a ferris wheel. You get in those baskets and ride up to the top so that you can see the whole fair, and all the lights and everything.” 

Razz was practically jumping up and down in excitement, not seeming to care that people could see him, or that if any of the others happened to be here, they would make fun of him. “Can we ride on it?”

“Sure, but--”

Razz didn’t wait for a response, tugging him forward as he started off almost at a run, nearly making Lust trip over his own feet and land face-first on the ground. Somehow, he doubted the other would have even stopped in that case.

Of course, they only made it about five steps before Razz whirled around completely distracted by a clown that had just gone by. His eyes were wide as he came to a complete stop and stared after him. “What the fuck is--”

“A clown.”

Razz frowned slightly. “Wait, why is Stretch afraid of those? He doesn’t look scary.”

Lust chuckled. “Imagine one of those coming to kill you. Happy things are the scariest sometimes.”

“Then why isn’t he afraid of Blue?”

“What, you honestly think he isn’t? Everyone’s afraid of Blue.”

Razz laughed, a happy, genuine laugh, that made Lust smile. He hadn’t heard Razz laugh like that in ages, too afraid of losing the image he had fought so hard for to do anything as weak as be openly happy.

Razz continued dragging him through the carnival, heading in a meandering path in the general direction of the ferris wheel and asking constant questions.

“What is--”

“Cotton candy. It’s like fluffy sugar. Do you want some?”

“Duh. What about--”

“It’s called a funhouse. I think that might be one of the haunted ones, though.”

“...haunted?”

Lust snorted. “Haunted by teenagers in semi-scary masks, but hey, they take great delight in jumpscares.”

“What is that thing?”

“...do you mean the creepy guy or the roller coaster?”

They continued on like this for almost an hour before they finally came across the game booths. 

Razz took in the area with a careful eye, apparently trying to figure out what the purpose of these things were without asking Lust. Lust watched him for a moment, trying not to grin at the stance the other had taken up, with his hands on his hips and squinting at the nearest vendor like he had committed a crime. 

“They’re games,” he offered. “You play to get one of the prizes.”

Razz looked up at where Lust was pointing at the rows upon rows of giant stuffed animals that lined the tops of the stalls. He seemed to be thinking hard about something, and Lust had a good idea what it was. “If...if I play...and I win something…”

“I’ll tell your brother it’s mine, yeah.”

Razz cracked his knuckles, then held out one hand for some of the tickets Lust was holding onto for him. When Lust had handed him the required amount, he turned and grinned at him, his sharp teeth making the gesture seem more threatening that it was really meant to be. “Excuse me while I wreck the fuck out of this guy.”

Lust burst into laughter as Razz winked and bounced over to the vendor, holding out his tickets and asking about the rules of the game. 

This had been a fantastic idea.

 

**ClassicLust(Lust/Sans)** \--- _Rockabye Clean Bandit_

Lust was sitting cross-legged on the ground, Sans’ kid mirroring the pose less than a foot in front of him, and frowning deeply. 

He found himself growing uncomfortable, faced with their stare, and he shifted slightly. He’s been sitting here quietly, minding his own business and waiting for Sans to get out of the shower when they’d just come over and plopped themselves down in front of him, staring at him like he was a car crash or a really weird bug.

After a few more very uncomfortable moments of silence, Lust finally huffed and asked, “Why are you staring at me?”

Yeah, he was an adult, and yeah, maybe he was almost 25 years older than this kid, but seriously, what the fuck? This was getting creepy.

The little guy huffed and crossed his arms, glaring up at him. “When are you going to marry my mommy?”

Lust choked on spit he didn’t even have, reeling slightly from the unexpected question. “What?”

“You are mommy’s boyfriend, right?”

Lust just gawked down at him, thoroughly flabbergasted. Though, knowing this kid like he did, he really shouldn’t have been surprised. Finally, he nodded, and they continued.

“Well, uncle Papyrus told me that when you have a boyfriend for a long time, you’re supposed to marry them, and you’ve  _ always _ been mommy’s boyfriend.”

Lust was lost for words, wide-eyed and staring down at them. “I...I don’t...I-I mean...you are  _ four years old _ , why are you asking me this?”

The kid frowned up at him, folding his little arms again. “I am very big and smart. You said so yesterday.”

Well fuck. Note to self, don’t ever say anything to a kid again, they’re going to use it against you later. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll admit to that. But, jeez, kid, you can’t just throw a question like that at somebody, it’s grown-up stuff.”

The kid tilted his head to one side, looking at him curiously. “Uncle Papyrus said that grown-up stuff means that the grown-up doesn’t want to talk about the stuff.”

“Well, your uncle Papyrus needs to stop telling you things, you’re getting too smart.”

They didn’t seem amused, continuing to glare at him. “So? When are you going to marry my mommy?”

Lust sighed, reaching up and rubbing his eye sockets for a moment before leaning over and reaching into his bag, pulling something out and keeping it hidden between his hands as he looked back at the kid. “I’ll tell you a secret, okay?” he uncovered the object, a small blue box, and grinned. “Do you know what this is?”

 

\--- _Fools Troye Sivan_

Lust tended to hold onto things a little too hard sometimes. He hadn’t grown up  _ missing things _ , not really. He’d had plenty of stuff, courtesy of his father, and plenty of love, courtesy of his brother. It was just that once he got things, he never wanted to let them go. He felt this way with everything, but he’d never felt it more than he did with Sans.

As he sat on the couch, the other curled up in his lap and fast asleep, he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around him, holding him close and resisting the urge to squeeze, lest it wake him up. 

Sans was kind and patient and unendingly forgiving of his constant mistakes, but he had a side of dry humor to him that sometimes made Lust laugh so hard he thought he might stop breathing.

He’d never had anyone like Sans before, and he was sure he never would again, so he did his best to appreciate the beauty before him, the peace and love he felt, so that when it ended, as it always did, he could always have these memories, holding him together and pulling him forward. 

He pressed his face against the side of Sans’ head, kissing him softly and he let his eyes fall closed. There wasn’t a whole lot of good in Lust’s life, and Sans was more than half of it. 

He didn’t ever want to lose him.

 

**Passionfruit(Lust/Blue)** \--- _Play Hard David Guetta_

“I’ll bet I’d be a great stripper.”

Lust choked on his drink, turning to look at Blue with a raised brow. “You what?”

Blue grinned at him. “I’d be a great stripper.”

Lust started laughing, and Blue held up one hand. “Wait, wait, hear me out!” He held up his hand, holding up his fingers as he listed off reasons. “I’m flexible, I’m fit, I’m attractive--”

“I’m not denying the skill, Blue, but you need a certain…” Lust gestured vaguely. “Sexual...Oomph, y’know?”

Blue raised a brow. “Oh, I  _ have _ ‘oomph’. Don’t you think, Jasmine?” The question was directed at the woman who had just come with more drinks, his eyes shifting into stars as he gave her his most roguish smile.

She smiled at him, then winked at Lust. “Of course he has oomph. More than you, Lust, that’s for sure!”

Lust mock-glared at her, faking offense as he picked up a new drink. Blue was laughing loudly, pulling out his wallet to tip her as Lust said, “Excuse you, I totally have oomph! I am the oomphiest, have you  _ seen _ these hips?”

“I’ve never seen those hips doing anything but sitting still on a chair,” she replied, still grinning at them and sticking out her hip to make it easier for Blue.

Lust gasped, but a smile was sneaking through. “Hey, these hips can do a lot of things, isn’t that right, Blue?”

He just snorted, the smallest of blushes coloring his face at the words. 

  
  


\--- _Move Together Leroy Sanchez_

Blue was half-sprawled across his lap, mouth hanging open and loud snores echoing through the room. Lust was trying to muffle his laughter at the situation, one hand pressed against his mouth while the other arm was wrapped around the back of his lover, holding him against his chest so that he wouldn’t get a very rude awakening from being dropped against the couch. 

Blue shifted slightly, throwing one arm up in a move that probably would have gotten it wrapped around Lust if he had been laying down. As it was, however, he only succeeded in practically punching Lust in the face, prompting a wince and a new round of choked-off laughter. 

Very carefully, he maneuvered the other so that he was holding him bridal-style, standing slowly so as to not wake him up and beginning to carry him in the direction of the stairs. He ascended ever so gently, making it to the bedroom without incident and laying him down in bed. 

He joined him, trying to ignore the continued snoring in favor of admiring his adorable face, watching the way his entire body seemed to be unconsciously straining to be closer to him.

Slowly, the snores quieted, and Blue’s eyes blinked open. It seemed to take him a moment to realize what was happening around him, but then he focused on Lust’s face and smiled. “Hey…” he mumbled, leaning forward so that their foreheads were pressed together.

Lust smiled softly, reaching out to let his fingers trail down the other’s humerus. “Hi, Blue. Go back to sleep.”

“Mmm...d’n wanna…” he said, blinking adorably in an attempt to wake himself up more. “S’posta be date night…”

Lust smiled, tilting his head to plant a small kiss on his nose ridge. “Yeah, but you’re tired. It’s okay, go to sleep.”

Blue pulled himself closer, tangling their legs together and sighing in contentment. “Okay. Don’t leave me.”

Lust reached out, wrapping his arms entirely around him and pressing them together. 

“Never.”


	70. This is an Excuse to Write Kustard tbh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!!! Have my OTP lol
> 
> Warning: [Fluff](http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/despicable-me-its-so-fluffy.gif). Like, to the point where you might throw up lol, this is sooooooo self-indulgent, I'm sorry... (no I'm not)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/CrushingOnSans) [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/crushingonsans)
> 
> The best way to contact me is by email! crushingonsans@gmail.com

Red woke up slowly, the warmth of the room and the person beside him making him more comfortable than he sometimes felt he had any right to be. Beside him, Sans shifted, groaning softly and pulling himself closer. Red wrapped his arms around him without opening his eyes, holding him as closely as he could and still be comfortable. 

"Mornin'," he murmured, prompting another groan, followed by a soft laugh as Sans nuzzled into his chest, planting a sleepy kiss on his shirt-covered ribs.

"Good morning...Let's go back to sleep..."

They both lay there for a few more minutes, just basking in the peacefulness of the sleepy morning, before Red found his eyes blinking open, almost against his will. Light was streaming in through the half-open window, and he grimaced as it hit his sockets. Sans seemed to be completely asleep again, and Red chose not to wake him. Instead, he elected to run one hand up and down the other's upper arm, sending out  waves of peace and love and sleepiness through their soul connection. He loved when Sans was asleep. He never looked worried or afraid or like he was five seconds from a panic attack. It was...nice.

All he really wanted in life was for his love to be happy, and while they were making more progress than he had ever even imagined in the waking world, it was refreshing to have this reminder of what things would someday be like. Someday, he could look up at Sans across the kitchen or the living room or whatever crowded grocery store, and he would see the same look he had now. Sans would be happy, and in turn, Red would be happy as well.

It was one of those thoughts that, years ago, he would have shoved away into the back corner of his mind, where he kept his other weak sentiments, but now...

Sans had been helping him just as much as he had been helping Sans. 

He never could have imagined loving  _anyone_ this much, let alone a version of himself. Especially one so regularly irritating. But hey, isn't that what love is? Looking past the things that make you want to bash them on the head and seeing the person they can become, the person they already are, and realizing how fucking happy they make you?

Sans stirred again, and Red sighed slightly before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. "Round 2?" he asked, and Sans snickered tiredly. 

He opened his eyes, then, shifting to look up at Red with the kind of look that, more often than not, brought tears to his eyes. How could anyone look at someone like him with that look in their eyes? It was truly a miracle. He managed to hold himself together, raising one hand to smooth over his skull in an affectionate manner.

"I love you, Red."

Every time he heard that, it made his soul lurch like it was the first time. It didn't help that he could see the sincerity in his eyelights, that despite being awake, Sans still looked so damn  _happy_ and it filled him with this full sort of feeling that he knew he was damn lucky to have, especially with someone so mind-numbingly beautiful and  _God_ ,  _he was so in love_.

He pulled the other up closer, kissing him deeply before wrapping him back up again. They just laid there for a long moment, souls pulsing in tandem and tears in Red's eyes that he wouldn't have even tried to hide. 

He didn't ever want to let go, he didn't ever want to have to get out of bed. He could stay here forever, just holding on so tightly to this monster that had changed his life so completely for the better. He wished he could life the rest of his life in the other's arms, and he didn't even laugh at himself for the cheesiness of the thought. Fuck, he meant it, he  _really_ meant it. 

They pulled apart, ever so slightly, arms still encircling each other and legs tangled together, pulling just far enough that they could rest their foreheads together, Red squeezing his eyes shut as he convinced himself of this perfect moment's reality. When he opened them, Sans was watching him, the love in his eyes more than obvious. His eyelights brightened ever so slightly as they met Red's, and he felt his throat constrict for a moment at the pure  _emotion_ he could feel stemming from the other's soul.

He felt himself sinking into the feeling, his eyes hooding slightly as he relaxed into his partner, the responsibilities of the day being of no concern when faced with the prospect of leaving this bed. In his peace, he didn't catch the warning that suddenly flashed across the other's eyelights, blinking slowly as the pulses coming from Sans's soul shifted ever so slightly into something he wasn't quite sure how to quantify. 

"Sans...I lo--"

Suddenly, Sans' body curled into itself, his legs trying to pop up as he brought his elbow to his face, successfully covering his nose just as a loud sneeze made its way to the surface. 

Red, as relaxed and happy as he was, reacted to the unexpected noise in a way that wasn't altogether surprising, in hindsight. He jumped violently, scrambling back before letting out a surprised yelp as suddenly, there was no bed underneath him. 

He fell to the floor with a thump, surprised for a moment and still not entirely sure what had just happened. Sans appeared over the side of the bed, looking down at him with a mixture of worry and amusement in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

Red stared up at him, wide-eyed, before he abruptly put the pieces together, snorting softly before he locked eyes with the other, who was grinning at him widely now that he knew he was okay. 

Before they knew it, they were both laughing, hard. So hard, in fact, that Fell and Papyrus, who were downstairs making breakfast, heard them. Assuming that their brothers had gotten into some kind of pun war, as they tended to do, they ignored it, sharing a quick smile before continuing their preparations. 

Red was snorting, trying to regain enough control of himself to get back into bed, while Sans was rolling around on it and giggling. At the sound of the other's laughter, Red started all over again, pressing a hand over his eyes to try and regain some dignity. 

Finally, they managed to calm down, and Red heaved himself back up to stand, gasping slightly as he fought for breath. Sans was still chuckling, but he sat up on the edge of the bed, using one hand to support himself while the other reached up and pulled Red down by his shirt, bringing them face-to-face. He kissed him softly, and Red could feel him grinning, which filled his mind with a whole new cloud of happy and made him want to curl back up with him under the fuzzy blanket they had commandeered from Papyrus's room. 

They parted reluctantly, staying a few inches from each other before Red leaned forward and playfully bonked his forehead against the other's. 

"Forever and always, Sansy."

Sans smiled at him, his eyes filling with the same emotion from earlier that always filled Red with such warmth.

"Forever and always. I'm yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted on Tumblr [here!](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/158800190084/this-is-an-excuse-to-write-kustard-tbh)


	71. Random-Ass Ficlets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just kinda wrote lol, I was hanging out with Fresh and these just sorta happened, idek anymore. Let's just go with it

“Who the fuck chose this?” Fell asked, raising a brow in the general direction of the TV.

Sans snickered, settling down on the couch next to Red as the other joined them. “This is what happens when you tell me you don’t care what we watch during movie night. Try having an opinion next time.”

Fell raised a brow down at him while Red sighed quietly, grimacing at the screen where the opening titles of  Titanic were being displayed. “Why are we--”

Sans gave him a look, and he smartly closed his mouth, electing to reach out and grab his bowl of popcorn. Heh. Looks like he was learning.

“Fuckin’ fine, then. Don’t expect me to enjoy it.” Fell plopped down on Sans’ other side, still grumbling under his breath and staring at the screen.

Sans relaxed into the couch, using his magic to turn off the lights in the room as the movie started. He slung his legs across Red’s lap, letting his head rest on Fell’s shoulder and munching on his popcorn. Movie night never changed, and he really wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Despite their grumbling, the brothers seemed to settle in, getting into the movie. They were watching intently, making the occasional sarcastic comment to really ensure that their masculinity wasn’t being compromised, and Sans did his absolute best to keep his snickering to himself. 

A few hours later, Sans was giggling under his breath, completely immersed in the movie as he watched what probably should have been a touching scene. 

“I’ll never let go, Jack,” said a voice very similar to his own. 

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up, Sans!” Fell hissed, his voice breaking on the last word.

Sans thought he might be about to explode with laughter. “I actually didn’t say anything, Fell. Do...uh...either of you need a Kleenex?”

“Shut your damn mouth!”

 

~~.~~

 

This is what he fucking got. Screw blind dates, screw love, screw this whole thing, Ink could eat every single dick for getting him into this.

Error was slouched, arms folded as he glared at the empty seat across from him. If the damn waitress came around again asking if he wanted refills, he was going to string somebody up. He didn’t even fucking care who. 

He could feel the sting of tears somewhere behind his eyes, but he wasn’t going to give whoever this stranger was the satisfaction of making him fucking cry, not even if they weren’t there to see it. 

...Even if that was the whole problem in the first place. 

Oh, screw this whole thing, anyway. He’d only agreed to it to stop Ink’s nagging. He didn’t actually care if they never showed up, he didn’t care if it was because they saw a picture or they heard about his past or whatever the fuck made them think they should just skip out on this whole thing.

Fuck it. He was going home. 

But he just...couldn’t make himself stand up. What if they were just late? What if there was traffic, or they had gotten lost, or...or….

Despite himself, he didn’t want to get up. So he just sunk further in his chair, and when the waitress inevitably came around again, he just quietly asked for another refill, the burning behind his eyes growing sharper at the pitying look she gave him, like she  _ knew _ . He did his best to ignore it, staring down at his hands and waiting for her to--

“Hello, darling! I’m so sorry I’m late, I got stuck in traffic!”

Error looked up in surprise, eyes meeting a pair of bright blue ones and an almost blinding smile, definitely not the face of the monster he was supposed to meet here tonight.

“Uh…” 

The stranger turned to the waitress, still smiling brightly. “I’m so sorry for the wait! I already know what I’m going to order, so we should be able to get a start on this!” He laughed lightly, taking a seat across from Error and ignoring his shocked face. 

The waitress took their orders and left, leaving them alone, and a long list of questions jumped to Error’s mind, but he was unable to voice any of them. 

The huge smile on the other’s face dropped slightly as he turned his entire attention to Error, frowning slightly as he lowered his voice. “Whoever it was that left you to sit here by yourself  _ really _ needs to take another look at their priorities. I know I don’t know you, but...screw them.” He snorted slightly, looking slightly taken aback by his own words. Then his grin was back, and he sat up straight in his chair. “Anyway, my name is Blue! What’s your name?”


	72. SIHS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little AU that Fresh and I came up with where everyone is a high school teacher and they're all gonna fall in love with each other lol. I'll continue it, but heeeeere's the setup!

“Hey, have you seen the new Lit teacher?”

Razz looked up at Red, who had plopped down across from him at his lunch table. “Fuck off, I’m saving that seat.”

Red smirked at him, pulling a bottle of mustard out of a pocket somewhere and propping his feet up on the table. “No you’re not. Nobody wants to sit by you.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“Takin’ one for the team. So?”

Razz rolled his eyes, setting the new pizza crust recipe he had been looking over aside and glaring at him. “So, what?”

“Have you seen him?” Red clapped a hand over his chest, feigning a faint. “He is _hot._ Like, I didn’t know English nerds could _be_  that hot.”

Razz raised a brow. “Red, you’re an Algebra teacher. You’re the worst kind of nerd.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Mr. Home Ec. Where’s your frilly apron?”

“Last I checked, it was up your mother’s--”

The door to the teacher’s lounge burst open and in strode probably the edgiest skeleton Razz had ever seen, which was saying something, considering the neighborhood he grew up in. He stomped across the room, going straight to the coffee machine and shoving the mug in his hands under the spout angrily. As he waited for the machine to do its work, he seemed to be doing something, rummaging around on the counters before he huffed and bent down to look in the cabinet under the sink.

Razz raised a brow at the view, turning to Red questioningly. Red was staring unabashedly, smirking, before Razz picked up his pen and chucked it at his head. Red jumped, looking back at him and opening his mouth to protest before Razz nodded towards the other occupant of the room, his question obvious.

Red nodded, grinning impishly as the other straightened, holding a box of creamer packets triumphantly. He finished making his coffee, turning around to search for a seat before Red spoke up.

Ignoring the way Razz was kicking him under the table, he said, “Hey, new guy!”

The new arrival looked at him, heaving a very visible sigh before forcing a smile onto his face and giving him a strained nod. “Fell Fontaine. Literature Teacher. Great to meet you.” Then, without waiting for a response, he plopped down at the furthest table from where they were sitting, his back to them.

Razz was going to have to send some flowers to the hiring manager for getting them _this_ guy.

~~~~.~~~~

Red rifled through his coat, searching for his keys in the depths of his pockets and cursing under his breath.

“Having some trouble, there, Maroon?”

Red groaned loudly, making sure his smile was completely under wraps before turning to face the speaker. “My name is Red, you a--rude...person.” Fuck, he hated working at a high school sometimes.

“I know.” Lust said, giving him his signature wink as he pulled out his own keys, neatly unlocking his door and pulling it open.

Red huffed, finally locating his own keys and practically ripping his door open, mumbling. “Then why don’t you ever call me by my name?” He walked into his classroom, unsurprised to see that Lust had already pushed open the divider, opening their classrooms into a larger space. He made his way over to his desk, tossing his keys down and thumbing through the stack of papers he had left there from his visit over the weekend.

“So,” came Lust’s voice from near his whiteboard. “You didn’t get fired again this year, I see.”

“I swear to God, if you are drawing dicks on my whiteboard again…” he grumbled, not even bothering to look up and confirm it.

“I would never! At least, not with a _permanent_ marker, I might get in trouble with the authorities.”

“It’s never stopped you before…” he finally located the paper he was searching for, straightening and joining Lust in the front of the room, pushing him aside and erasing the impressively-sized purple dick that was decorating his whiteboard before starting to list out the learning targets for the day. Since it was only the first day of the new school year, they weren’t exactly extensive, but he wasn’t going to be the one caught without them. After all, they were just...all-important to student learning...

Suddenly, a burst of sound came from the other room, Lust’s computer cranked all the way up and blasting a [pop song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMtBc3qwrz4) that Red wasn’t entirely sure how he had access to at school.

“Lust, turn your music down before I come over there and make you!”

Lust ignored him, dancing his way over to his own white board and starting to copy down his own learning targets. He sang along loudly as Red glared at him, wishing, not for the first time, that he had become a lawyer like his father had wanted him to.

He picked up the nearest whiteboard marker, throwing it as hard as he could across the room at the other, hitting him in the side of the skull and causing him to yelp loudly enough to be heard over the music. He turned it off, turning to look at Red. “What was that for?!”

“SHUT THE FU--”

“Mr. LaFont?”

Red jumped about a foot into the air, spinning around to see one of his returning students standing in the doorway of his classroom, smiling widely as she looked between the two of them.

“Oh, hello, Mr. Calisto. Did you two have a good summer?”

“Yes, _I_ had a good summer, Grace. We still aren’t hopelessly in love, so don’t bother asking.

~~~~.~~~~

Sans _lived_ for his planning period. Seeing as the curriculum didn’t change a whole lot from year to year, he had always figured that he’d be fine winging it, and it had proved to be fine so far. So, instead of actually  _planning_ during what had essentially become an extra break, he would nap or eat or wander the halls aimlessly, searching for entertainment in the windowless void that was the high school hallways.

It was only the first day of school, so he was even more bored than usual. He didn’t even have the stress of procrastination to keep him company; there was nothing he was supposed to be _doing_.

He walked slowly down the stairs, ignoring the many posters that crowded the wall at the end of the landing in favor of leaning over the rail, looking down into the student center. In the back corner, standing in a ragged circle, were a group of students, talking quietly and apparently skipping class.

He sighed. He supposed he should probably do his job, shouldn’t he?

He trudged the rest of the way down before crossing the room and coughing slightly, catching their attention. “Where are you supposed to be?” he asked, trying to sound like he actually cared.

There were several different answers, then he made a shooing motion. “Well? Then go there instead of standing here doing nothing useful.”

They scampered off, and he slouched slightly, glancing around for something to entertain him. Suddenly, he heard [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BAh8ibkKuk) echoing down the hall, some sort of preppy beat with female voices. Shrugging, he walked towards it, following the sound until he realized it was coming from the weights room.

He paused. There wasn’t a weights class during second period. Who would be… He peeked around the corner and into the room, his eyes widening as he took in the scene before him.

The kids in first period had apparently decided that “putting things away” was a foreign concept, leaving dumbbells and weights all over the floor. Blue, the Phys Ed teacher, had always been too nice, and was picking up after the little shits. Sans had rounded the corner just in time to see him pick up a stack of 40-pound weights, lifting them onto their stand with seemingly no effort.

He set them down, singing under his breath as Sans’ mouth dropped open slightly. He could see the other’s arms in the gray cutoff shirt he wore, and there was sweat dripping down what he could see of Blue’s neck.

He leaned down to grab more weights, and Sans had to take a step back, putting the other out of his sights and clapping his hands over his cheeks in an attempt to hide the bright blue blush he just _knew_  was cropping up there.

He was still standing there when the bell rang for third period, staring blankly at the opposite wall and trying his best not to picture what was happening around the corner.


	73. All The Pairings Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I found a bunch more little writing prompts on tumblr and I'm doing them with a bunch of pairings lol. This is not even close to all of them, but it's late and I'm tired so fuckin take it anyway lol

**Kedgeup**

Fell was pacing again, back and forth and back and forth and back again. Sans was watching him worriedly, trying to figure out what was on his friend’s mind. He looked troubled, and he wanted, probably more than he really should have, to do anything he possibly could to get that worried look off of his face. 

They’d been friends for years, and Sans was used to the other being angry or content, and, more recently, a whole other range of emotions that Fell never seemed to let out around anyone but him. Sans tended to be of the opinion that Fell was at his most beautiful when he was truly happy.

It hadn’t really been much of a surprise when he’d found himself falling head over heels for Fell. He was passionate and loyal and absolutely  _ gorgeous _ , everything Sans knew that he could never in a million years come to deserve. 

Fell stopped right in front of him, folding his arms tightly and glaring at the floor. “Sans...I-I…”

Sans watched him carefully. It wasn’t often that he saw the other this nervous, and he couldn’t think of what could possibly be causing it. 

“Are you okay?”

Fell huffed slightly, then grabbed a chair, pulling it so that he could sit directly in front of the couch so that he and Sans were face to face. “I have something I need to get off my chest.”

Sans studied him for a moment. “Okay…?”  _ Please be your shirt, please be your-- _

“I’m in love with you!”

Fell looked shocked by his own daring, glancing up at Sans with a look in his eyes like he was about to get stabbed. 

“... _ WhAT??!! _ ”

 

**Withered love**

Slim trudged up the steps, sighing quietly as he unlocked the front door and stepped into the house. It had been a very long day, and he couldn’t wait to collapse into his bed and sleep for the rest of his life. 

He walked slowly up the stairs, rubbing at his eye sockets. Continuing to go up the stairs, he yawned widely, his eyes falling shut for a split second. While he wasn’t looking, he managed to trip over the next step, eyes flying wide as he fell straight down onto his face with a loud thump. 

He was distracted from his pain and slight confusion by a muffled shriek coming from the direction of his brother’s bedroom, followed by a small crash and the sound of a door being slammed shut. 

Slim immediately leapt to his feet, magic flaring as he prepared to face the potential threat in his little brother’s room. He whipped the door open, opening his mouth to shout a warning, before coming to a complete stop at the sight before him.

“What the fuck are you doing home?!” Razz yelled at him, folding his arms tightly and glaring at him darkly. 

Slim blinked slightly, forcing his eyes up to the other’s face as he felt his face start to burn with embarrassment. He let his magic fade, the lack of a threat obvious as his brother stared him down. “I...uh...there was a...a situation...with the--” he shook his head slightly, raising one hand to block the bottom half of the other’s body. “Why the fuck are you naked?”

Razz just stared at him for a moment, the gears turning in his mind practically visible in his expression. He shifted slightly, still not bothering to cover himself whatsoever.

“I don’t have any clothes.”

Slim raised an eyebrow at him. Laundry day was every Monday, like clockwork. Today was Tuesday. “...you don’t have any clothes?”

Razz nodded defiantly, still glaring hotly. “Yeah. I don’t have any clothes.”

Slim huffed slightly before stomping over to the other’s closet, ignoring his yelp of protest and pulling the door open. 

“What the hell are you talking about, you have three pairs of shorts, your armor is perfectly clean, oh hey Lust, and I think you have more pairs of socks in here than I have clothes altogether...”

 

**BlueFell**

It was early morning, the exact time of day when Blue loved to be awake. He was still in bed, for once, but that didn’t stop him from blinking sleepily up at the window, where the morning light was streaming in. He just knew that if he stood up and walked to look out, there would be a gorgeous sunset to behold. Normally, he would have done just that, but he was so comfortable here in bed, Red’s arms wrapped around him and his breath brushing against the back of his neck. 

He let out a quiet sigh, closing his eyes for a moment and just basking in the warmth and comfort and love that he was feeling. There was nothing better than this, not training, not puzzles, not anything in the whole world was better than waking up in the home of the two skeletons he loved most in the world, knowing that in a few minutes, Fell would probably be back upstairs from his morning jog to peek in on them. He would have a warm sort of look on his face that he was only showing because he thought they were both asleep and wouldn’t see him. He was just that sort of person, always trying to be cool in ways that didn’t really matter. But that was okay! Blue would teach him! He just had to--

Suddenly, the door burst open, accompanied by the blast of an air horn, piercing the peacefulness of the morning and making him jump violently. Behind him, Red startled so hard that he leaped backwards out of bed, the muffled thump of his landing just barely audible over the shriek of the object in the hands of the figure in the doorway.

The air horn stopped, and Fell smirked. “Good morning.”

“Boss, what the fuck?!” Red snarled from his place on the floor, shivering slightly from being completely bare-boned. He stood up quickly, burying himself back under the blanket and continuing to grumble under his breath. 

Blue, sitting up, just stared at Fell in confusion, his shocked brain unable to put a sentence together to question why the taller seemed intent on giving him early-onset arrhythmia.

“That’s what you get when you keep me up all night with your fucking! Next time you’re in the damn mood,  _ maybe _ try doing it when I’m not in the bed with you?!”

Red chuckled slightly from under the blanket as Blue flushed brightly, ducking his head. “You know you’re always welcome to join us, Boss.”

Fell snorted and turned to leave, calling back over his shoulder. “You should know me better than that, Sans. Blue, come help me make breakfast.” He paused, then grinned. “If you can still walk, that is.”

Blue’s blush grew all the brighter as Red broke into peals of loud laughter.   

 

**Edgelord Supreme**

“How much salt am I supposed to add to this?”

Fell looked up to see Razz frowning down at the recipe in his hands. “Well, what does it say?”

Razz gave him an annoyed look, holding out the paper in his direction. “What, you think I would be asking you if it said, asslamp?”

Fell snorted as he took the recipe. “Well apparently you already have all the salt you’ll ever need. That’s a new one, did you come up with that on your own?”

“Shut the fuck up. How much do I put in?”

Fell scanned over the recipe, and, true to the other’s word, there wasn’t anything about it. “I would assume none. I don’t think that chimichangas usually have salt added.” He leaned back against the counter, watching his husband as he considered this. 

Razz frowned, staring down at his concoction before sighing. “Fine. Well, I think this is enough preparation for tomorrow, then. Are you going to--”

Fell pushed himself up to stand straight, crossing the room to wrap him up from behind, burying his face into the other’s neck and inhaling deeply, closing his eyes and just taking in the whole feeling of the other. Razz stiffened in surprise for a moment before relaxing back into him, sighing contentedly. 

“I love you.”

Fell smiled softly. Every time Razz said that, it made his soul flutter like it was the very first time. He hoped to Asgore that he would never get tired of it. “I love you too.”

Razz pushed him backward abruptly, bringing one palm down to smack against the counter fiercely. “I love you more!”

Fell did his best not to snort as the other turned to look at him, the look on his face challenging him to argue. 

“No, asshole, I love you more.”

Fell never could resist a good challenge.

 

**Kustard**

Red heaved a quiet sigh, staring down at his hand of cards and trying to decide if it was even worth his pride to keep playing. Stretch was grinning at him like he knew exactly how fucked he was, and it made Red want to tell him exactly where he could stick it. 

They were playing Go Fish, and Red had zero pairs, while Stretch had six. He  _ had  _ to be cheating.

Sans walked in, pausing in the doorway and making confused eye contact with Red before he seemed to figure out what was going on. Smirking, he snuck across the room, looking at Stretch’s cards before holding up five fingers to Red.

Red coughed slightly, trying not to laugh at the other’s rudimentary sneaking. “Any fives?” he asked innocently, and Stretch frowned at him before handing over a card. 

Sans crinkled his nose, very obviously trying to hold in his giggles. 

“Any threes?” Stretch asked, and Red shook his head, glancing up at Sans. Stretch caught the look, turning to look over his shoulder just as Sans held up two fingers, catching him in the act. 

“Get the fuck outta here!” he said mock-angrily, waving his hands at the other in a shooing motion. 

Sans laughed, circling around the table and pushing Red over slightly before plopping down next to him, sharing the chair. Red put his cards face-down and slung one arm over Sans’ shoulder, grinning innocently at Stretch. Sans reached out, grabbing Red’s cards and holding them up to thumb through them, slinging one leg over the arm of the chair and leaning back into Red’s chest, humming thoughtfully. “Any twos?” he asked, as innocently as he could. 

Stretch snorted, looking between them thoughtfully. “...How long have you two been dating?”

Sans straightened up in shock, throwing the cards up into the air in mock-surprise as Red snorted. Sans had always had a flair for the dramatic. 

“Red! We're dating?!” Sans asked as the cards fluttered down around them, the surprise in his voice too obvious to be real. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”


	74. This Means War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: the original title of this was "Wrap Me Up and Drop-Kick Me Into Rarepair Hell, Here I Come" but that just seemed a little too accurate for how hard I've started going for this ship (out of fucking _nowhere_ , I might add)
> 
> Rottenberry for the win lmao

Razz unlocked the front door, staring down at his phone in confusion. He’d just gotten home from work, and just as he’d walked up the front steps, he had received a text message from his boyfriend that said, “Prepare yourself! ;D”

Thanks to years in the royal guard, the training for which had been interspersed with random practice attacks (courtesy of Alphys), Razz was pretty sure he was usually very well-prepared for any situation. ‘Expect the unexpected’ had become so much a part of his daily life that he wasn’t really sure what qualified as actually being unexpected at this point. But...prepare for  _ what _ ? 

This wasn’t exactly likely to be something life-threatening, based on the smiley face usage, and that pretty much sapped him of his usual ideas for surprises. 

He absentmindedly kicked his shoes off at the door before turning to toss his keys into the bowl that sat on a table by the door, only to be brought up short by what else was already there. Right beside the pet rock, there was a...contraption. Razz picked it up, considering it carefully, turning it over in his hands until he realized what it was, a huge smile lighting up his face. 

Still grinning, he picked up the note that had been placed right next to the big-ass Nerf gun. 

_ I hope you prepared yourself!  _

Almost as soon as he finished reading the last word, something struck him in the side of the face, followed by the sound of quiet giggles and shuffling. Razz immediately leapt into action, dropping the note and vaulting over the back of the armchair, taking shelter behind it and looking around carefully to find the source of the projectile. 

He caught a flash of something blue, and immediately aimed his own weapon, firing quickly before ducking back behind his cover, stifling laughter. 

There was a yelp of surprise, then quickly retreating footsteps, and he grinned, spinning out from behind the chair and raising the gun as he stood, getting two quick shots at the other’s retreating back. The giggles increased tenfold, and Blue took shelter around the corner of the kitchen doorway. Razz crouched, making his careful way across the room towards where he knew the other was hiding. 

Blue peeked out, getting off a few shots and connecting with Razz’s chestplate before the return fire made him duck back into hiding. Razz chuckled, picking up the other’s ammo and loading his own gun with it before rising again to stand seamlessly. He finished crossing the room silently, hiding just on the other side of where he knew Blue was hiding. 

After a moment, Blue peeked around again, bringing up his gun and looking confused at the empty room. Before he had a chance to spot him, Razz reached out and grabbed the other’s gun, pulling him out into the room and shooting him point-blank in the ribcage.

Blue was giggling breathlessly, trying to pull his gun back before Razz shot him again. Finally, he just let go and made to duck back around the corner again, but Razz dropped the gun and grabbed his arm, pulling him back out and into his hold. 

Blue struggled for a moment before relaxing back into the other, grinning up at him as innocently as he could.  “I’ll accept your surrender in writing!”

Razz snorted, setting his own gun down and wrapping both arms around his boyfriend. “I’m fairly certain I was the winner of that battle, thank you very much.”

Blue continued grinning up at him, and Razz snorted again at the false innocence in the expression. He raised a brow, loosening his hold slightly as he tried to see what he was missing, realizing far too late that this had been Blue’s plan all--

Blue spun around in his arms, reaching down and attacking Razz’s ribs with pokes and tickles, smiling up at him all the while. 

Razz huffed, trying to keep his laughter from bursting out, a task which was almost impossible with the growing sensation. He stumbled back slightly, running into the wall, and Blue took advantage of the fact, pinning him and continuing his attack. Razz began laughing, hard enough that his soul was constricting because of his decreased magic flow. He was weakly trying to bat the other’s hands away and failing, only causing Blue’s smile to grow wider. 

Finally, he cried, “Fine! Ha! I surrender! Heh, please stop, I surr-ee-surrender!”

Blue jumped back, pumping one fist in the air and doing a little victory dance. “The Sansational Blue is victorious once again!”

Razz grimaced, then gave a loud war cry, flying forward and body-checking the other over the back of the couch and onto the cushions. Blue just continued his laughter, grinning up at him for a moment before reaching out and wrapping his arms around the back of the other’s neck, pulling him down for a quick kiss before he winked at him mischievously. 

“I don’t think that’s quite what surrendering is supposed to look like, Razzy.”

“I don’t think that’s quite what beating me in a fair fight was supposed to look like either.”

Blue just laughed, nuzzling into him and sighing softly. Razz adjusted himself so that he wasn’t so awkwardly positioned, holding the other close and letting his eyes fall closed. 

Life was almost too perfect.


	75. Movie Quotes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Crush has a little too much fun.
> 
> New headcanon: The Sans-Types (Sans, Red, Stretch, etc) watch a lot of movies and quote them at every opportunity.

"I'm sorry, Blue, but you have to answer three questions before you can watch the movie with us."   


Blue looked at him, obviously confused. "Well...Okay then," he said, tilting his head to the side and regarding Sans curiously.    


Sans grinned widely. "What..." he began, pausing for dramatic effect, "is your name?"   


Blue placed his hands on his hips and straightened his shoulders. "The Magnificent Sans!"   


Red and Stretch were snickering behind him, but Sans did his best to look serious. He lowered his voice into his best impersonation of a crotchety old man and asked, "What...is your quest?"   


Blue just looked at him for a moment. "Um...to join the Royal Guard?" he answered, but it sounded like a question. He heard Red snicker something about a holey tail, but before Blue could question him, Sans continued.    


"WHAT...IS THE AIR-SPEED VELOCITY OF A LADEN SWALLOW?!" he cried, his volume far louder than Blue had ever heard him speak before.    


Blue didn't think he had ever been so confused.    


Stretch spoke up suddenly, in a terrible impression of a British accent. "African or European swallow?"   


Sans paused and turned back to face him, apparently having forgotten Blue. "Well, I don't know that!" he said, and almost immediately, Red seized Sans's soul with blue magic and threw him lightly across the room onto the couch as he did his best impersonation of a Wilhelm scream. 

Blue decided to roll with it and asked, "Can I please come watch the movie now?"

~~~

Razz held out his hand to his brother. “Hand me the cyanide, mutt.”

They were preparing for the greatest moment of Razz’s life, the assassination of the royal family. Once they were dead, he could reign supreme, ruler of the underground, able to control every monster underneath him just as he did his all-too-willing brother.

“You know the poison?”

Razz turned to look at Slim, confused. “What?”

“The poison for Kuzco.”

Slim started snickering at the thoroughly unamused expression on Razz’s face. This was the greatest moment of his life, and his brother was ruining it with stupid jokes. Again? He smacked him on the back of the head and held out his hand again. “No. Do not do this. We are assassinating the monarchy, this is not the time.”

Slim grinned at him. “The poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco.”

“STOP.”

“Kuzco’s poison.”

Razz leaned forward and snatched the little bottle out of the other’s grip, grumbling under his breath as he tried to resist punching him the face. Slim was still giggling like a child, holding one hand over his mouth as he tried to get himself to stop. What an asshole…

~~~

Blue ran up the stairs, excited to start the day and wake up his brother. Every day was amazing, a new opportunity for great things to happen! Of course Stretch needed to be a part of it! 

He came to the other’s door, knocking soundly and waiting a beat before bursting into the room and singing out, “WAKE UP, PAPY! IT’S TIME FOR BREAKFAST!!!”

Stretch rolled over, groaning. “Five more minutes…”

Blue huffed before crossing the room, jumping onto the bed and prodding his brother with both hands. “COME ON, PAPY, YOU NEED TO GET UP!”

Stretch let out another groan. “...who is it?”

Blue sat back, confused. “It’s...Sans? Are you alright?”

There was a beat of silence, then Stretch said, in a monotone, “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t come to the door right now. I’m afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absen--”

“PAPY THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE QUOTING FERRIS BUELLER! COME ON, WAKE UP!”

Stretch groaned, then sat up, pushing Blue away as he rubbed his eyes. “Honestly, the time to quote Ferris Bueller is always, Sansy.” 

~~~

“Inconceivable!!!”

Fell glanced up at the sound of Stretch’s voice echoing across the house. It was followed by many giggles from some of the others, and he sighed, exchanging glances with Blue. The smaller was rolling his eyes, but he had a small smile on his face. 

He glanced up, making eye contact with Fell before he grinned and said, in a terrible Spanish accent, “He keeps using that word. I do not think it means what he thinks it means.”

Fell held in a snort, determined not to give the other the satisfaction. 

~~~

Fell burst into the house, a rare look of excitement on his face. He slammed the door closed behind him, beginning to run upstairs, much to Red’s amusement. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV, a bottle of mustard in his hand. 

“Who lit a fire under your ass, Boss?”

Fell paused, spinning around and making eye contact before his face lit up in a giant smile. “Sans! I thought you were upstairs!” He ran back down the stairs, stopping right in front of him and bouncing with happiness. 

Red raised a brow, watching him and waiting for the cause of this unusual display of excitement to show itself. 

“I MADE IT INTO THE ROYAL GUARD!!!!”

Red raised a brow, setting his mustard aside and standing up, clapping his brother on the back. “Congrats, Boss! How’d you--”

“I BEAT UNDYNE!”

Red’s jaw dropped. “Wow...you go, Glenn Coco, damn…”

Fell paused, crinkling his brow. “Did you just….”

“Nope. Great job, bro!”

~~~

Lust leaned back against the counter, grinning at his alternate with a smug sort of expression. “Hey there, Razzy.”

Razz gave him a look, sighing slightly. “What do you want?”

“Do you have a band-aid?” Lust was still grinning at him, and Razz was pretty sure this was not the innocent question it was being posed as. 

“No. Go ask--”

“Because I think I just scraped my knee falling for you.”

Razz rolled his eyes. “Shut the fuck up. Are you seriously coming on to me?”

Lust shrugged slightly, then winked. “Is it working?”

In one smooth motion, Razz set down his spatula and punched Lust directly in the nose before returning to his cooking, ignoring him as he stumbled back, clutching his face and yelping in surprise. “What the hell, Razz?! You broke my smolder!”

Razz snorted. “Don’t fucking hit on me, then. Asshole.”

Lust started laughing, still looking at him in slight confusion. “Where have you been all my life?”

“Avoiding you. Fuck off.”

~~~

Fell's peaceful afternoon was quite suddenly interrupted as someone jumped over the back of the couch, landing in his lap and grinning at him. "Hey, fuckfell. How're things?"

Fell sighed, setting aside his book and pushing Stretch off his lap and onto the floor. "A lot worse now that you're here."

Stretch snorted. "Hey, you know you love me."

Fell picked his book back up, straightening his glasses. "Nope".

Stretch snickered, then sang softly, " When the fantasy has ended..."

Fell rolled his eyes, continuing to ignore him.

"And all the children are gone, Something good inside me..."  Stretch suddenly leapt up from the floor, landing on the couch next to Fell and wrapping one arm around his shoulders, pulling him over so that the sides of their faces were pressed together. "...h elps me to carry on!"

He was promptly pushed away and Fell flipped him off, standing up and moving to a different chair.

Stretch continued to sing from his place on the couch, a huge grin on his face. "I ate some bugs, I ate some grass, I used my hand, to wipe my--"

"Will you shut the fuck up and leave me alone? This is not a serenade, if that's what you think, it's fucking stupid!"

There was a pause. 

"Do you want me to serenade you? Because I can totally--"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

~~~

Sans picked up a BB pellet with his magic, gathering his energy before throwing it as hard as he could at the row of cans across the field. The can to the left of the one he had been aiming for exploded, spraying soda backwards and prompting a whistle of appreciation from Fell, who was standing beside him. 

“Impressive. The speeds at which you can harness your blue magic could be used as a weapon itself.”

Sans shrugged, trying not to look too pleased at the praise. “I guess it could. I prefer to throw my opponent around rather than hitting them with things. It’s easier that way, and I don’t have to aim.”

Red piped up from his other side, sounding  surprised. “You can pick up your opponents?! How small do they have to be?”

“Uh...well, usually they’re...fairly small.” He shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with the others. “But...I can pick up anyone, really.” He glanced up, and Red was giving him that pitying look that he  _ knew _ Sans hated. He huffed, and grabbed Fell by the soul, lifting him abruptly into the air.

Fell’s screech of surprise almost drowned out Red’s impressed exclamation. “Wow! Okay, I see you can lift some pretty heavy shit. Damn, Sans…”

Sans grinned at him, and they both just watched Fell struggle for a moment before Red murmured, “We’re sooaaarin’, flyyyin’...”

Sans snickered. “Did you seriously just quote High School Musical?”

“Fight me.”

In one quick motion, Sans lifted his other arm, grabbing Red’s soul and lifting him up into the air alongside his brother. “I mean, since you asked…”

~~~

“What kind of food does this fucking place even  _ have _ ?”

Red glanced over, seeing the confused look on his brother’s face being shared by Blue. “Sushi. It’s a sushi restaurant. That’s why it says ‘sushi’ on the sign.”

Blue crinkled his brow. “What’s sushi?”

Stretch looked down at his brother, then up at Red, looking confused. Red shared the sentiment. “...Blue, why did you want to eat here if you don’t even know what sushi is?”

The small skeleton blushed lightly, looking down at his feet and wringing his hands. “...I thought it said sunshine.”

The other three exchanged glances before looking down at the smaller skeleton with affection. “Blue…” Stretch started, but the other waved him off. 

“The Magnificent Sans is willing to try anything! Let’s go!”

And with that, he marched into the restaurant without looking back. Fell snorted before following him, and Red looked over at Stretch with amusement. “Do either of them know that sushi is raw fish?” 

Stretch’s eyes widened. “What?!”

Red raised a brow before turning to follow the others in. “Did you not know that?”

“No! Fish are friends, not food!”

Red snickered, catching the smile on Stretch’s face before he forced his expression back into one of horrified confusion. “Shut the fuck up. I’m going to grab them, Blue’s not gonna want to eat here, I think this is one of those places that has the live lobsters to choose from.”

“Are you sure? I think he might be--”

Stretch’s question was answered when the two of them heard a sudden pair of horrified screeches from inside the restaurant.

~~~

Razz was screeching again. Pacing back and forth in the living room, yelling at his brother about something one of the others had done. It really wasn’t fair, but honestly, Slim was the only one willing to put up with this shit anymore.

Or, at least, put up with it with a straight face.

Around the corner, Sans and Red were snickering at Slim’s bad luck. This particular rant stemmed from the two of them, and they were taking entirely too much delight in their troublemaking, as usual. 

“Dude, you might actually get dusted. Are you sure you want to try this?” Sans whispered, stifling his giggles with the back of his hand. 

Red winked at him, grinning widely, before he stepped out from around the corner, appearing directly behind Razz and starting to follow him across the room. Sans stuck his head around the corner, holding up a finger in a shushing motion at Slim before disappearing again. Razz spun around to pace back the other way, and Red teleported behind him again, this time waving his arms around in a mocking version of what Razz himself was doing. He was moving his mouth, but Sans was pretty sure he was just mouthing “blah blah blah” instead of the actual words coming out of Razz’s mouth. 

Slim was fighting to keep his smile off of his face, looking anywhere but at Red. Unfortunately, Razz noticed, and he stopped, nearly causing Red to run directly into his back and interrupting his imitation game. “What the fuck are you laughing at, Papyrus?”

Slim snorted slightly, his eyes beginning to stream as Red put one hand on his hip and waved a finger in his direction, still moving his mouth. Razz frowned and looked over his shoulder, and Red shortcutted to his other side, putting himself out of the other’s sight. 

Sans was choking on his laughter, peeking around the corner at the scene and doing his best to stay hidden. 

“Papyrus! This is not a laughing ma--”

Red snorted slightly as he tried to perfect the position the other had taken up, and Razz spun around, catching him in the act of making a stupid face and cocking one hip out. Red immediately straightened, clearing his throat and smiling innocently. “Oh, hey Razz.”

Razz just stared at him, distracted for a moment by Sans finally losing his shit out in the hallway. “...Were you imitating me?”

Red’s eyes widened in innocence, and he shook his head. “No...no, I would never...No…”

It was far from convincing, and Razz glared at him. “For fuck’s--”

“This is imitating you, hang on,” Red interrupted, straightening his back and cracking his knuckles. Then he hunched over slightly, glaring at Slim, who had tears streaming down his face from his repressed laughter. “Hate hate hate...double hate...LOATHE ENTIRELY”

Razz’s mouth opened and closed for a moment in confusion. “Are you calling me a fucking Grinch? It’s not even Christmas!”

“It doesn’t have to be Christmas for you to be easy to fuck with.”

Razz’s screech of indignation rang through the house, followed by the sounds of someone being chased through the house, accompanied by a lot of giggling. Upstairs, Fell rolled his eyes, going back to his book. Why was he related to so many idiots?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more quotes that I thought about using but eh:
> 
> Just keep swimming  
> Hey. You gonna eat your tots?  
> There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere...  
> My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die  
> I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS  
> A genius billionaire playboy philanthropist  
> You sit on a throne of lies


	76. Finalists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there! Final Voting for Chapter 100 starts today, so here's another ship menu lol. This one is quite a lot better-constructed than the other lol, have fun voting! Rules will be in the end notes of whatever chapter is most recently posted.
> 
> And I'm sorry, I did not include AfterDeath, but that's because I could not for the life of me write the snippet thing about it. So, I mean, that's probably not a good sign about me being able to write an entire special about it. Sorry if you're disappointed by this.
> 
> I just want to add a note here that Fresh and I were hanging out while I was writing this, and the sentence 'can you paint with all the colors of Red's glowing dick' happened at one point.

**Key**

**Ship Name {Names}**

Songs I love for this Ship

_ Why I Love the Ship _

Story Snippet Thing

(Chapters I’ve written about this pairing) And other stuff too lol

 

**ClassicCherryBerry {Sans x Red x Blue}**

Lay It All On Me - Rudimental ~~ Speed of Love - Owl City

**_This is my OT3._ ** _ As you can see by this pairing being probably the one I’ve written either the most or the second-most (#cherryberry) about, I fucking ADORE this. It’s my OT3. Not only does it contain my OTP (Kustard), it also has my second-favorite but most written-about ship (CherryBerry), and one of the fluffiest rarepairs in the world (ClassicBerry). These three play off each other so damn well, and the flaws with each of the ships are almost entirely solved by adding that third person. There is something gorgeous about Sans barely being able to love himself but having two people that adore him, and Red having not only someone that brings constant happiness into his home, but also someone who can understand him better than anyone else in the world, and Blue having a pair of people who don’t see him as a child, and love him for his little quirks, and who he can love with no reservations because he can see everything they have the potential to become. These three bring out the absolute best in each other.  _

 

Blue tied his apron around his waist with a flounce, tugging slightly on the perfect bow before slipping off his gloves and cracking his knuckles, drawing winces from both Red and Sans. “Ready?!”

Red snorted. “I don’t know. Sans, does the calendar say that we’re r--”

“One more snide comment about my calendar and I’m not cooking dinner for a week.”

Red’s mouth snapped shut as Sans grinned impishly at him. Blue turned around to face the stove, choosing to ignore that Red flipped the other off as soon as he thought Blue wasn’t looking at them. 

“Okay, Red, grab the lettuce, Sans, grab me a cutting board.”

Red groaned as Sans skipped across the room, grabbing the cutting board and laying it in front of Blue with a smug flourish. Red grumped over to the fridge, grabbing the lettuce and looking as though he was resisting the urge to chuck it at Sans’ head. Blue took it from him gently, planting a quick kiss on his cheekbone before starting to chop it. 

Ignoring the snide grin Red was giving Sans, he continued giving orders, having them fetch and carry things, start up burners, do the stirring, and so on. Through it all, they both stole little kisses, competed for the best jobs, and overall acted like children until Blue had finally had enough.

Spinning around and putting his hands on his hips, he stared them down suspiciously. “What are you guys doing?”

“Smoking your meat,” Sans said from the stove, at the same time that Red said, “Each other and you, most of the time.”

Blue just glared, waiting for an answer that didn’t come from the 12-year-old portion of their minds. “Why are you being so competitive?”

Red gave a mock gasp. “Competitive? I would never! Besides, it’s not even a competition if it’s against--”

Sans huffed. “I will destroy you, Red, don’t think I won’t.”

Red snickered. “Isn’t it usually Blue that does the--”

“Stop!” Both of them turned to face Blue, who was still glaring between them. “What is going on?”

“Red thinks he’s more powerful than I am. Magic-wise, I mean.”

“I don’t  _ think _ anything--”

“You got that right.”

“Will you shut up?”

Blue snorted slightly, turning back to where he was shredding the cheese. “I think you’re both equally powerful.”

There was a pause, then Red’s disbelieving voice. “Seriously?”

“Powerfully annoying. Finish dinner, please.”

 

(12, 16, 19, 24, 29, 39, 44, 48, 56, 62)

 

**BlueFell {Blue x Red x Fell}**

Angel With a Shotgun Nightcore ~~ Kill ‘Em With Kindness - Selena Gomez

_ The biggest thing for me about both CherryBerry and Edgeberry is the hope that Blue brings into their lives, and the absolute beauty of someone as kind as Blue having someone willing to kill for them. It’s that idea of “Don’t fuck with them. I know they don’t look scary, but if you saw their boyfriend you wouldn’t even be thinking of fucking with them.” It honestly just gets better when it’s BlueFell because then both brothers get to be happy, their relationship gets to be repaired, they both get to see the world as a brighter place. And Berry has two of the most badass skeletons in the multiverse by his side, and there is just SOMETHING about that image that I can’t seem to get enough of.  _

 

“Can I open my eyes yet?”

“Nope!”

Blue was leading Red by the hand, having insisted that he keep his eyes closed, so as not to spoil the “surprise”. Red hated surprises, since they usually ended in someone getting killed, but as usual, he hadn’t been able to deny the little skeleton anything. 

They came to a stop, then Blue’s whispered voice came out of the silence. “Okay, you can open your eyes. Just be quiet, okay?”

Red blinked his eyes open, wincing slightly at the sudden influx of light before he focused on the scene in front of him. 

“...Wow.”

“I know. Isn’t he  _ gorgeous _ ?”

Fell was leaning forward over the railing of the balcony, smiling softly at the purple and orange sunset that lit the clouds before him. He was dressed in his usual leather pants, but with a black tank top, which was riding up slightly over his bones, exposing the barest sliver of scarred white bone to the eyes of the two Sanses. He had apparently forgotten to take off his reading glasses before he came out, and they sat low on his face.

Red’s eyes were wide as he glanced between the compelling sight on the porch and the pure happiness and love he could see on the face of the skeleton right next to him. 

They  _ were _ gorgeous, weren’t they?

 

(38, 59)

 

**Tango {Dance x Lust}**

Shape of You - Ed Sheeran ~~ Into You - Ariana Grande

_ It’s hard to explain why I love this so much, but it started out as a “hang on, wouldn’t Lust like to dance? Like sure, it’s mostly provocative, but so is a lot of dancing”. There is a special place in my heart for dancing, and for couples slow-dancing together, and for one person in a couple dancing badly while the other sits there and laughs, and just...DANCING, guys!!! These two are both sarcastic assholes, and they relate to each other really well, at least in my mind. It’s very difficult to explain why they go so well together, but you can see it in the writing. _

 

“Take a deep breath. It’s all going to be okay. It’s all going to turn out how it should.”

Lust took a deep breath in, then let it out, giving a sideway glance at where Dance was standing across the room. 

“But what if ‘how it should’ isn’t how I want it to be?”

Pink gave him a sage sort of look that normally would have had Lust stifling laughter, but he was too nervous, his soul thrumming with uncomfortable energy. “Then you’ll still be okay.”

Lust drew in a shaky breath, his eyes dropping to the floor for a moment before he heard his brother’s voice. 

“You are strong enough for anything that may happen, brother.”

Lust looked up, making eye contact with him for a split second before he gave a quick nod, spinning around and crossing the room quickly. 

Dance looked up as he drew closer, his face lighting up as he saw who it was. His mouth opened, as though about to ask a question, but Lust didn’t give him a chance to speak as he grabbed the other by the sides of his face and pressed their mouths together, squeezing his eyes shut so he didn’t have to see the other’s reaction.

It’s all going to turn out how it should. 

 

(24,  **36** , 62, 69)

 

**Errotic {Error x Lust}**

Move Your Body - Sia  ~~ I Don’t Dance - Lee Brice

_ This ship presents such an interesting dynamic! I remember when it first appeared I just kind of laughed and moved on because, c’mon, Error is haphephobic and Lust is sex-addicted. HAHAHA don’t worry, I know better now. Yeah, Error doesn’t like to be touched, but it’s canonically because he’s afraid he’ll “mess it up”. What if someone who loved him were to teach him he didn’t have to be afraid of messing things up, that they would love him anyway? And what if Lust was able to learn that sex isn’t everything when it comes to love, that falling in love with a person instead of their pleasure feels so much better than any orgasm ever possibly could?  _

 

“And you can just...go to any universe? Step through a little doorway and you’re there?”

Error nods, looking at him in confusion.

“Are...are there any where you can see the…”

Error snorts quietly. “What, you want to see the surface? Just like every other monster ever?”

Lust blushes slightly, and ducks his head. “...the stars?”

He goes quiet at that, studying him quietly for a moment. “Yes. There’s an entire universe where they live among the stars.”

Lust’s eyes light up in a way that sends a strange feeling down into the pit of Error’s nonexistent stomach. “What do they look like? Are they like the crystal caves?”

Error just watched him. The earnestness of his face, the stars in his eyes… “Do you want to see them?”

Lust’s jaw dropped, and he seemed to be struggling for words before he nodded enthusiastically, unable to articulate with actual words how much he wanted to see them. 

Error opened a portal and, after a moment of hesitation, held out his hand to the other, who looked at him in surprise. 

“Shut up and just take it. Let’s go.”

 

(24,  **32** , 62, 69) Also See:  [This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9258539)

 

**Bledgeup {Sans x Red x Fell}**

Irresistible - Fall Out Boy ~~ Love Me Now - John Legend

_ If I’m being perfectly honest, I see this as mostly being a smutty ship, but there is an interesting dynamic here that I can’t deny. Fellcest is always great, a little bit of passive with a whole lot of aggressive, but of course they love each other. It’s just interspersed with a lot of “Fuck you”s. Kedgeup is awesome, Fell finally having someone in his life who won’t take his shit. Kustard is...god, Kustard is just everything. They are so perfect. You can read more about that below lol. They all just balance each other out very well, and there’s something beautiful about someone who has trouble with self-worth like Sans having a pair of people who would kill for him without question. _

 

“I’m confused.”

Red snickered. “Of course you are.”

Ignoring him, Sans continued. “You’re together, right?”

Fell sighed. “Unfortunately, yes.”

Red flipped him off as Sans snorted. “And your universe doesn’t give a shit about incestuous relationships, right?”

With their nods as confirmation, Sans scrunched up his face in confusion. “So why do you have separate rooms? And who exactly am I expected to sleep with?” 

Fell puffed out his chest. “Well, obviously I will allow you to sleep with--”

“Shut the fuck up, he doesn’t want to sleep with you!” Red laughed, raising a brow at his brother before turning his attention to Sans. “He talks in his sleep like you wouldn’t believe. And he fuckin’ snores. You can’t catch a wink when it sounds like someone is revving a lawnmower in your ear.”

“You’re one to talk! You can’t hold still to save your life! Do you realize how many times a night I’m awoken by you hitting me in the face with your flailing?”

“I do not  _ flail-- _ ”

Sans held up his hands, stopping them with a short laugh. “You’re acting like an old married couple, can you hear yourselves?”

Fell snorted, folding his arms as his face flushed. “Red can sleep on the couch and you can have his bed if that’s how you’re going to be.”

“Boss, you can’t tell me to sleep on the couch. That’s why I got myself my own bed.”

“Yes, because I kicked you out of mine!”

They fell back to their bickering, and Sans grinned lightly, settling back into the couch as they argued over the top of him. 

 

(62, 71, 73) Also See:  [This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9255677)

 

**Firststar {Outer x Sans}**

Please Don’t Go - Joel Adams ~~ Save My Heart - Jason Reeves

_ I don’t have a lot of experience with this ship, but something I think is really beautiful is that Sans loves the stars, and guess who has lived their whole life with the stars? Finding something to be passionate about together is incredibly important, especially since I’m sure that Outer takes his stars for granted. Sans helps him to see the beauty in it again, and Outer opens up Sans’ mind and shows him things he never could have even imagined. _

 

Sans was snoring, loudly. Outer snorted softly, glancing over at him from his place on the other side of the couch. The other had his mouth hanging open, drooling slightly, and an absolutely  _ horrendous _ noise coming from his mouth. 

There was a moment of silence as he breathed out, then another loud snore, causing Outer to have to stifle his laughter. Quietly, he pushed himself up to stand, grabbing the afghan and pulling it down to cover his sleeping alternate. 

He paused for a moment, staring down at his sleeping face. He could probably just…

He leaned forward, but a split second before his mouth touched the other’s forehead, there was another loud snore, making him jump. He laughed quietly at himself, then tucked the blanket around him more securely before ascending the steps and going to his room.

 

(None)

 

**Kustard {Red x Sans}**

So Close - Jon McLoughlin ~~ I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - Zayn Malik 

**_THIS IS MY OTP._ ** _ I was really surprised when I saw how little I’ve written about this because of how much I absolutely  _ adore _ this ship. You may be reading this and going “But isn’t CherryBerry your OTP, since you write about it so much”? Well, no. CherryBerry is fun to write, and they have a funny dynamic that makes for a great day for me. But Kustard is so much deeper than just a funny dynamic. It’s….Red seeing that there is, in fact, light in the world, and not in a sickly sweet kind of way like what Blue can sometimes have. It’s showing him himself, what he would have been if the world hadn’t been so damn cruel, and showing him that being screwed up is okay, that if you find someone to be screwed up with, it isn’t so bad anymore. And it’s Sans seeing that even someone rough like this, someone who looks at the world and sees nothing but darkness, can look at him and see something good. And that’s something that Sans can’t even see about himself. They can laugh together, they enjoy so many of the same things, but they have enough differences that they can have some playful banter to keep things lively. Red and Sans are soulmate material, and nothing will ever convince me otherwise, honestly. I have so much passion for this ship, because I think it exemplifies a realistic sort of love that all of us could maybe hope for. Everyone wants someone who can understand them, and who understands each other better than these two? _

 

Red nodded his head along to the song that was playing, letting his body move along to the rhythm minutely as he adjusted the cushion that was pressing into his back. He was reclined back on the couch, waiting for Sans to join him from the kitchen, where he was popping popcorn. 

The song changed (  [Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZIOkbrX_uU) ) just as the other came into the room, and Red grinned slightly, eyeing his boyfriend and trying to decide if he should be annoying or not. 

Honestly, the answer to that question was always yes.

As Sans went to sit down, Red pulled out one headphone and started singing loudly.

“Ohh, I!”

Sans jumped violently, nearly spilling the popcorn and turning to glare at him. “What are you--”

“I JUST DIIEEEED IN YOUR AAARMS TONIIIGHT!”

Sans snickered as he realized what was going on, setting down the bowl and continuing to stand, his amusement obvious in his expression.

Red sat up slowly and dramatically, holding his hand in front of his face like he was holding a microphone. He held out one arm towards Sans as he continued to sing   “IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING YOU SAAIID!” 

Sans snorted reaching out and making the mistake of taking the proffered hand. Red immediately pulled on him, and he went down with a yelp, landing on top of the other. Red wrapped his arms tightly around him, squeezing too hard for it to be considered comfortable as Sans laughed breathlessly. “I JUST DIIEED IN YOUR AAARMS TONIIIIIIIIGHT!”

“I’m about to be dying in your arms if you don’t stop crushing me,” Sans said with his face squished into Red’s chest as he sang the guitar solo loudly. “Let me go, you dork.”

Red laughed, pulling out the other headphone and loosening his hold slightly. “Who are you calling a dork, Mr. ‘Knows Every Word to Bohemian Rhapsody’”

Sans snuggled into his hold now, snickering quietly. “Who _doesn’t_ know every word to Bohemian Rhapsody, though?”

“...Me?”

“I’m breaking up with you.” 

 

(24, 62, 70, 73) Also See: [This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8279707) and [Smut](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9348767/chapters/21175871)

 

**RottenBerry {Blue x Razz}**

Geronimo - Sheppard ~~ Youth - Troye Sivan 

**_I adore this ship._ ** _ I think what I really, really love about this ship is something that I touched on in Hide (chapter 61). Razz has spent his whole life living behind a facade, a shield made of mostly-false cruelty that he doesn’t even know how to begin to take down. And then along comes Blue… The ultimate ray of hope and light and happiness, here to bring joy and to teach Razz that he doesn’t need to be cruel to get what he wants. And Razz, once confronted with the purity that could have been him if his world hadn’t been so cruel, feels the weight of his sins, pressing so hard on his back, but hey, guess what!? Blue is here! And he believes in everyone, but he especially believes in Razz. He knows he can be better, he knows he can be forgiven, and along the path of getting into Razz’s heart, he learns a bit about how the world and pain and mental illness works, and gains maturity he would have been hard-pressed to find elsewhere. _

 

“What’s that?”

Blue looked over to where Razz was pointing, squinting slightly to better see what the other was talking about. When he put two and two together, his eyes widened, and he clapped his hands together happily. “It’s a playground!”

Razz blinked at him, very obviously confused, and Blue huffed. “It’s a place where you can play, usually when you’re a kid, but… I mean… we’re pretty small…” 

He was grinning up at the other impishly, and it was easy to see the exact moment that his puppy eyes worked and Razz’s pride dropped away. “Okay, fine. Let’s go check it out, I guess.”

Blue squealed and spun around, taking off at a run and calling back over his shoulder, “Race you!”

He heard Razz curse loudly, and then the sound of pursuing footsteps. Blue forced himself to run even faster, his breathing picking up as he pumped his legs, sprinting as fast as he could make himself go. He could tell that Razz was gaining on him, but he’d had a pretty good head start, and he was almost there! 

With a victorious cry, he crossed the pavement that surrounded the outside of the playground, stopping and spinning around to declare himself the winner. Before he was even completely turned around, he felt Razz slam into him from the side, wrapping his arms tightly around him and bringing them both to the ground. He rolled so that he took the brunt of the fall, but Blue still yelped in surprise, his eyes going wide as the world was suddenly going sideways. 

They just lay there for a moment, chests heaving, before Blue started to giggle breathlessly. Razz joined him, and the sound of their laughter filled the area. 

“Are you okay?” Razz asked, grinning up at him with that look in his eyes that always made Blue’s face warm up. He nodded, then pushed himself up to stand, brushing himself off and looking around excitedly before grinning down at the other, tilting his head to the side and winking. 

“I’ll bet you can’t catch me again!”

 

(61, 62, 74) Also See:  [This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9397871/chapters/21322031)

 

**BlackCherry {Red x Razz}**

Company - Justin Bieber ~~ Can’t Feel My Face - The Weeknd

_ Both having grown up in a Fell world, these two would be able to understand each other a bit better than some of the others. Razz needs someone who won’t take his shit, and Red needs someone to help him along in the world, to teach him that not everything is darkness and not even darkness is always bad.  _

 

“Where are they?”

“Hell if I know, look over on your side instead of talking to me.”

Red snorted, then leaned back over to look at the trees that surrounded them. “Do you think they gave up?”

He could practically feel the disbelieving look Razz was giving him. “This is Fell and Blue. Do you honestly think they will ever give up? On anything ever?”

“Fair enough. So where are they?”

Razz hefted his paintball gun up a bit higher, peeking around the rock they were taking shelter behind. “You already fucking asked me that and I already told you that I don’t know.”

“Hey, you’re the war genius, here. Don’t shoot the messenger.”

“One more pun about this situation and I will absolutely shoot the messenger. Should we run around the perimeter?”

Red turned back and grinned at him. “Getting antsy?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Red’s grin grew wider, then he winked. “Yes, sir. Can I have a kiss for luck?”

Razz’s face went impassive, and he raised his weapon, firing off a shot too quickly for Red to move out of the way. The paintball connected with the front of his pelvis, making him yelp in surprise and pain. He dived around the back of the rock, shielding himself from further not-so-friendly fire as Razz snorted and started around the perimeter, shouting back over his shoulder, “You can kiss my ass for luck, you pervert.”

 

(None)


	77. Sing Your Heart Out, Sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got kind of inspired by the Kustard snippet in yesterday’s chapter XD I don’t know if I can get in trouble for using the lyrics to copyrighted songs but I mean...I definitely don’t claim any of the songs or lyrics to be my creation. Anything that is being sung instead of spoken will be in italics.
> 
> [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqVcv6TydN710fOfEeiLlYxrzUGzry5Gt) to make your life a bit easier if you want to listen to the songs lol

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX1VeFBo9AQ)

Stretch glanced between the guitar and Fell, his smile growing wider and wider as an absolutely  _ fantastic _ idea occurred to him. He picked it up, plopping down on the couch and tuning it quickly as Fell watched him, a look of reserved confusion on his face. 

Stretch cleared his throat, grinning up at him before he started strumming at the guitar. Fell’s brows knit together, and he folded his arms, shifting slightly as he tried to figure out Stretch’s angle.

_ “My life is brilliant” _

Stretch cleared his throat again, then winked at Fell, continuing to strum. “ _ My life is brilliant. My love is pure…” _

Fell’s face lit up in a crimson blush as he realized what was happening, and he glared down at Stretch, seeming determined not to show any positive reaction to this turn of events.

_ “I saw an angel, of that I’m sure… _ ” Stretch looked the other up and down as he sang, making it very clear exactly who the angel was in this situation.

“ _ She...mmm...subway, she was mmmmmm.” _ He couldn’t quite remember the lyrics for this part of the song, so  he did his best to hum the tune, winking again at the bemused expression on the other’s face. “ _ Mmmmmm, cause I’ve got a plan!” _

He took a deep breath, then sang out loudly, squeezing his eyes shut to deliver as much power as he could. “ _ You’re beautiful!” _ His voice cracked, badly, but he just grinned, continuing, “ _ You’re beautiful!” _ His voice cracked again, and he could hear Fell laughing at him, with none of the mocking cruelty he may have once shown. He opened his eyes, looking the other directly in the eye as he sang, “ _ You’re beautiful…” _ he stopped strumming, lowering his voice from the ridiculous heights he’d taken it from and finishing, “It’s true.”

 

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMKNyFRW8dw)

Sans spun Blue out onto the dance floor, weaving through the other dancers and ignoring any onlookers that might be judging them and their lack of skills. Taking the other by both hands, he swayed their arms, bobbing his head and moving his shoulders and spinning Blue around in a way that made his lover laugh, the bright sound bringing a smile to Sans’ face. 

As the chorus came around, Sans pulled him in, wrapping his arms around Blue’s waist and singing softly, “ _ But I, won’t, hes-i-tate, no, more, noo more, it, can-not, wait!” _

He planted a quick kiss on the other’s forehead before singing out, “ _ IIII’m yoooouuuuurrssss!!” _

Blue giggled, then hummed along with the song as Sans spun him again, coming to a stop just in time to kiss him again, settling his arms around Sans’ shoulders and swaying with the beat.

 

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUI5uLysKaE)

Stretch sat at the table, watching his little brother dance to the music in his headphones as he did the dishes. Blue was singing along, despite very obviously not being able to hear himself. His lack of tune, however, was more than made up for by his enthusiasm and the way he danced along to the beat. 

Blue spun around, catching Stretch watching him and blushing slightly before he started bobbing along to the rhythm again, smiling brightly as he sang out, “ _ Lady, runnin’ down to the riiptiiide, taken away to the daark siiide, I wanna be your left hand maan.” _

Stretch smiled warmly, settling his chin in his hands as he watched the other. Blue took a breath, then his eyelights formed little hearts as he sang out,  _ “I love you, when you’re singin’ that soong, aaaand, I gotta lump in my throoaat, cause, you’re gonna sing the wooords, wroong!” _

Stretch stood suddenly, crossing the room and pulling his brother into his arms, kissing him soundly before turning to grab the next dish, beginning to help with the chore. Blue smiled softly at the gesture, pulling out one headphone so that he could talk to the other as they worked.

 

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914)

Ink was sprawled across Error’s lap, sketching quietly while Blue sat next to them, reading. Error had his eyes closed, thoroughly relaxed as he appreciated what he was sure was a temporary pace. 

Blue started humming quietly, and he felt Ink shift to look at him. Error blinked his eyes open, looking between them and finding himself slightly worried at the smirks they were exchanging.

Blue’s humming escalated, then he started singing quietly, “ _ dah dah dah doo, dah dah dah dah dah doo dah...”  _

Error recognized the tune vaguely, but he couldn’t put a name to it as the small noises went on for quite some time, Ink beginning to bob his head along to some beat that none of them could actually hear. 

The noises changed, turning into the humming and mumbling of someone who couldn’t quite remember the words to whatever they were trying to say, before Ink interrupted him, singing quietly, “ _ Ooo, I’ll be comin’ for yoouu, anywaayyy…” _

Blue immediately spread his arms, singing loudly, “ _ Taaaaaaaaaaaaaake ooooooooon meeeeeeee!” _

Ink giggled slightly, then sang, “ _ Take, on, me!” _

_ “Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaake meeeeeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooooooooon!” _

_ “Take, on, me!” _

Error snorted slightly as he listened to the two of them, trying to hide his amusement.

“ _ IIIIIIIIIII’ll beeeeeee gooooonneeeeee!” _

The two of them both took a deep breath, then, together, “ _ In a day oor twwwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!” _

Blue’s voice cracked at the high note, but Ink managed to maintain it, Error finally letting out a snort of laughter as they ended somewhat together, both grinning. Then, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all, they both went back to their respective activities, leaving Error to grin between them before he shook his head slightly, closing his eyes again and still trying not to laugh.

 

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB2GQ28sE5s)

Fell was sitting at the kitchen table, minding his own business, when there was suddenly a large blast of music coming from the living room. 

He frowned slightly, opening his mouth to tell Lust to quiet down before suddenly, there was the sound of running footsteps and a quiet thump before the object of his confusion slid into the kitchen on his knees, singing loudly, “ _ Do you beliieeve in liiife after looove?” _

He watched him, confused, as Lust rolled to the side, ending up in a strange sort of position where he was on his side, half propped up as he shot a finger gun in Fell’s direction. 

“ _ I can feeeel, some-thin’, insiiiiide me, saaayyyy!” _

Lust pushed himself to his feet, dancing his way over to Fell and pulling his chair away from the table as he continued to sing, “ _ I really don’t thiink you’re stong enough, no!” _

At the no, he threw himself across Fell’s lap, landing on his back and grinning up at him before he closed his eyes and held one arm out in the other’s direction. 

“ _ Do you beliieeve in liiife after love?” _

Fell snorted, trying not to laugh at the other’s antics. Lust just smiled widely and opened his mouth to keep singing before Fell pushed him out of his lap, sending him to the floor with an  _ oof! _

“If you don’t stop being a dork, you’re going to find out if there’s love after life.”

Lust crinkled his brow slightly, lowering his volume slightly. “That’s not the lyric!”

“I’m aware. It was a threat.”

Lust snorted disbelievingly before he pushed himself to his feet, dancing his way around the kitchen and mumbling the lyrics too quietly for the other to hear. Fell sat and glared at him, waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop. 

Sure enough, the chorus came around again and Lust spun to face him, blowing him a kiss. “ _ Do you beliieeve in liiife after  _ Eeeee!”

Fell jumped up from his chair, chasing the other from the room and down the hallway. Lust sprinted to his room, snorting from laughter as he slammed his door shut before Fell could get to him. Fell stood outside the room, laughing loudly as he steadied himself against the wall. He could hear Lust’s wheezing through the door, then several deep breaths as he attempted to calm himself down. 

“Y'know, when they say you should chase after people you like, I don't think that's quite what they meant!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I think it's fun (idk about you guys), we're going to play a game. Every chapter until 85 I'm going to ask you guys a question and the first person to answer it correctly gets an extra vote on the finalists. Let's start off easy. Who is my favorite skeleton in the multiverse?  
> This one has been answered! My favorite skeleton is [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyYcIHVJalA)


	78. React

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not part of the OT3 timeline, I just felt like breaking some hearts with this ship. You're welcome.
> 
> I love the headcanon where Red has only had the human come through once, just with a bunch of saves and loads, because they are genuinely kind and they don't want to hurt anyone. Then, of course, Blue has never been through a reset (because that's the Orangey Asshole's job XD) So that leaves Sans alone with the experience. Fun fun fun for everyone!
> 
> Violence and self-harm warnings. Everyone is a dick except Blue, as usual.

Sans slammed his plate into the sink, spinning around to face Red. He was sitting at the table, and he didn’t immediately seem to notice the other’s outrage. “What the  _ fuck _ is wrong with you?”

Red looked shocked at his outburst, eyes wide as he reveiwed what he had said. He didn’t seem to find any immediate fault in it, his brow knitting in confusion.

And damn it if that didn’t piss Sans off even more.

“Just...don’t even bother!” he yelled, stalking out of the room and passing a very confused Blue on the way.

“Sans? What--”

“I would tell you to ask  _ him _ \--” Sans gestured at where Red had appeared around the edge of the doorway, looking absolutely flabbergasted. “--but he can’t even figure out what he fucking did!”

Blue stood still for a moment, watching him stomp up the stairs. “...Then why don’t you tell him what he did so that he can--”

“Because if I try, I’ll say something I’ll regret!”

He slammed the door shut behind him, and after a moment, Blue slowly turned to look at Red, raising a brow. 

“Dare I even ask?”

 

Sans wiped angrily at the tears leaking from his eye sockets, trying to force himself to stop crying. To say the least, it didn’t work. He was curled up in bed, facing away from the door with his knees tucked up into his chest. 

They had no idea. Neither of them. They had no goddamn idea what it was like, how it felt to--

The door creaked open, a stream of light accompanying the new arrival. “Go fuck yourself,” Sans mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

“I’m not Red, so I won’t make a poorly-constructed joke out of that.”

Sans choked on a snicker as Blue stepped into the room, closing the door carefully behind him and coming to sit on the edge of the bed. Sans was reminded, suddenly, of days back underground, when he had woken up and immediately wanted to go back to sleep. He’d been...not tired, exactly, though exhaustion was almost always pulling down on his body in those days. He’d just not wanted to be awake, to have to force a smile anymore, to escape back into the abyss of his dreams and never come back. On those days, Papyrus would come into his room, sitting on the edge of the bed just like Blue was doing now, lending his semi-silent companionship in a usually fruitless attempt to help him get out of his own mind.

He squeezed his eyes shut again, blocking out the memories as best he could. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong?”

Sans hesitated for a moment before he cracked his eyes open, glancing up at the other. Blue was looking at him so earnestly, so full of hope and love, just like he always did.

Sans sighed, turning back over and burying his face into his pillow. “You wouldn’t understand.”

There was a beat of silence, then the bed creaked as Blue pushed himself up to lay next to him, wrapping his arms around Sans and pulling him in close. “I can try?”

Sans tensed slightly in the hold before making himself relax, taking deep breaths as he willed himself not to cry. “D-does your brother ever...does he ever have nightmares? Like, really bad ones, where he wakes up screaming?”

Blue stiffened slightly against him, and Sans took that as a yes, pushing onwards. “I used to get those. Really bad, I would just...Paps said my magic would all react to it, and it looked like I was on fire. But then…” he paused, searching for words. His tears seemed to have disappeared, a cold sort of emptiness replacing it as he found himself half-lost in his memories. “Then the resets started. The bad ones, where the human k-killed everyone. And it sort of started to feel like maybe it was real life that was the nightmare. It didn’t even feel  _ real _ , sometimes. So I thought...you know...maybe I just needed to wake up?” His voice broke, which confused him. He felt Blue’s grip on him tighten, and he glanced down at where he could see the other’s arms wrapped around him, reaching up to trail his fingers along the bones, grounding himself in the act and the feeling of his lover pressed so tightly against him. His mind started to come back, and he shook his head slightly, pulling himself out of the past and into the present.

“Red thinks he...he knows how I…” he took a shuddering breath, then continued shakily. “He keeps...making comments, like he...like he understands it. Like he knows what it felt like, because he’s had a different sort of...of pain. Do you...am I making sense?”

“...What did he say?”

Sans blinked slightly at the somewhat unexpected question. He’d honestly expected Blue to just kiss the side of his head and tell him that  _ Yes, of course you make sense. It’s all going to be alright, I’m sure you’ll feel better! _

“He made a pun about resetting. Something about how I should  _ re-set _ the table before you “took a page out of our book” and  _ judged  _ me.”

There was a strangely uncomfortable silence, then Blue loosened his hold slightly before saying, “Don’t you think you might be overreacting a little bit?”

Sans stiffened completely, his eyes narrowing.  _ What? _

Blue hugged him tighter again, backpedaling quickly. “I’m not saying that what you just told me, about the resets, isn’t something to be upset over. Not at all, I completely...I just...I don’t think Red meant to--”

Sans pulled away violently, pushing himself up to sit and glaring down at Blue. The other looked extremely uncomfortable, as though unsure how to dig himself out of the hole he knew he had just dug himself into. He sat up slowly, looking at Sans as his face flushed slightly. “Sans, I know you don’t want to hear it, but he’s sorry, I’m sure. If you told him what you just told me, he would--”

“And how the hell would you know that?!”

Blue flinched slightly at the tone of Sans’ voice, looking as though he was at a complete loss for words.

“You aren’t like us! You have even less of an idea of how his mind works than I do! Y-you’re just...a perfect little version of us that’s never had a hard day in his life!”

Blue’s mouth dropped open, and his sockets darkened slightly before he pushed himself off the bed and stood, walking quickly out of the room and slamming the door behind him. Sans felt an empty sort of satisfaction at the action, proof that the angel wasn’t perfectly happy all the time.

Then guilt washed over him, and he brought his knees up to his chest, lowering his head and beginning to sob.

 

Red was sitting on the couch, wringing his hands and staring blankly at the floor, when he heard the door slam. He glanced up, surprised to see that the angry one was now Blue. He stood cautiously, worried, for a moment, that he’d accidentally done something so horrendous that now everyone was mad at him. Blue spotted him, his eyes immediately flooding over with tears, his vulnerability all too apparent as he began to cry quietly, descending the stairs quickly and disappearing into the kitchen. 

Red just stood there for a few moments, trying to decide if it would make things worse to try and comfort him. 

He was still standing there, stuck in indecision, when the bedroom door creaked open and Sans peeked through, his face streaked with his blue-dyed tears. He came downstairs cautiously, looking around uncertainly for a moment and avoiding Red’s eye. Red took a deep breath, then crossed the room, bringing his arms up to offer a hug. 

Sans shot him a glare, and he dropped them immediately, his face falling. He shoved his hands deep into his coat pockets, looking down at the ground before he got up the courage to speak in the face of his very angry boyfriend.

“Sans, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I did, but I--”

Sans huffed, looking away. “I’m not down here to listen to your apologies. I’m here to apologize to Blue.”

Red narrowed his eyes. “What did you do to Blue?”

A look of extreme guilt passed through his face before he ducked his head, folding his arms against his chest and staring blankly down at the floor. “I...I told him he didn’t understand. B-because he’s not...like us?”

“ _ Excuse me?” _

Sans glared up at him, any trace of guilt gone at Red’s tone. “Shut the fuck up, he was taking your damn side! Of course I got upset!”

Red’s mouth was hanging open, unable to believe that the other had taken out his unexplained anger on the kindest person in the multiverse. “What the fuck did I even  _ do _ ?!”

“You were making puns about the damn resets!”

Red snorted slightly, throwing his hands up into the air. “Are you kidding me?! That’s what you’re so pissed about? It’s not even a problem an--”

Sans stepped forward suddenly, getting into Red’s face and causing him to take a step back. “Why the hell would you think it’s okay to joke about the worst thing that’s ever happened to me?”

Red glared at him. “Shut your damn...Everyone’s makin’ jokes about my damn LV, or jumping out from around corners and scarin’ the ever-living shit outta me, thinking they’re hilarious! You get used to it!” 

 

Sans pushed away the tears threatening to reform in his sockets. “That doesn’t make it okay for you to--”

“No, it just makes it okay to fuckin’ hurt Blue! What the hell is wrong with  _ me _ ?! Seriously?!”

“You have no idea what it’s like!”

“Do I have to? My life was as shitty as they come! You couldn’t step outside without getting dust in your damn mouth!”

“At least you never had to watch Papyrus die! At least you didn’t have to live in a world that kept repeating, over and over and  _ over _ again!” Red opened his mouth, but Sans kept talking, yelling over him. “At least you n-never...broke your own damn fingers, just to see how far you c-could push your HP, just for one thing to be fucking  _ different! _ You’ve never had to murder the same damn demon in a child’s body a thousand times in a row just because they couldn’t seem to dodge your fucking blasters, even though you know they’ve done this a million times by now!” His chest was heaving, and Red looked as though he’d been stabbed. 

Behind him, there was a small noise, and he turned to see Blue standing behind  him in the kitchen doorway, his arms wrapped around himself. He was staring at Sans blankly, perfect little angelic tears running down his face. 

Sans hesitated, then took half a step forward. Before he could make any move to comfort him, however, Red was there, tucking Blue’s head into his chest and shushing him softly as he started to sob. Something in Sans’ soul hardened, and he folded his arms across his ribcage, glaring at the floor as he came to a decision, somewhere in the irrational part of his mind. 

“Fucking fine, then. It’s not like you need me.”

He spun around, snatching his coat off of the back of the couch and throwing it over his shoulders. Behind him, the others stared after him blankly, not piecing together exactly what was going on. It was as he wrenched open the front door that Blue cried out, “S-sans, no, wait--”

Sans slammed the door behind him, the tears that had been filling his eyes for some time finally pooling over and streaking his face.

They would never understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First to answer this question correctly gets an extra vote:  
> What's my favorite song on the UnderTale OST? (Hint, not Megalovania. That's my second-favorite lol)  
> This has been answered! My favorite Undertale song is [this one](https://youtu.be/wdGQA9t5soU).


	79. A Night Off and a Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look, another AU! Let me know if you'd like to see more of this in here! I'll probably write it anyway but still! I drew [this](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/157601893014/the-crown-prince-of-the-kingdom-of-lust-had) and Fresh said it reminded them of a medieval sort of thing and I flew with it.
> 
> In case the names get confusing:  
> Fell-Jade  
> Red-Carmine  
> Lust-Lavender (Lav)  
> Sans-Cerulean (Cer)  
> Pink-Rouge

The crown princess of the Lust kingdom was a wild sort of monster. There wasn’t a day that went by that he wasn’t skipping out on his studies, wandering through the halls and gardens, or disappearing for hours at a time with no explanation. It was not uncommon to find him shin-deep in the castle pond, shoes and crown nowhere in sight. So when Prince Rouge walked into his brother’s daily history lesson to actually find him there, legs crossed casually and looking on the verge of sleep, but still _there_ , he was shocked. 

The instructor looked up at his entrance, a warm smile directed to his favorite student as he nodded respectfully. “Your highness. What brings you here today?”

Rouge glanced at his brother before turning his attention back to the instructor. “I only sought the pleasure of your company, but here I find my brother in attendance!” He smiled widely at them. “Tell me, dear brother, are the Royal Gardens out of order?”

Princess Lavender straightened his back, coughing regally before raising one hand and flipping his brother off, much to the chagrin of the instructor. “Princess, you really must learn to show decorum. Your title and position do not come without their own set of--”

Lav sighed deeply, leaning forward and putting his chin in his hands. “I know, I know. It’s all a waste of time, in my opinion.” He glanced up at his brother, making a face. “Father paid me a visit this morning. Apparently the visitors from Fell are to be arriving today, and ‘we must present a good face to our most esteemed guests’.”

“Lav, do you think it is wise to mock the king like this?”

“Do you think it is wise to be a fu--”

“Please!” the instructor said loudly, holding up one hand. “Princess, you are excused from the lesson. We were nearly done, and I’m sure that if I asked you, you would already know the material somehow.”

Lav jumped out of his seat, stretching until his back gave a satisfying  _ pop _ and smoothing his skirts. “Well, I’ll be off, then, best of luck to the two of you. Study  _ hard _ .”

Rogue snorted, shaking his head. He knew full well that nothing was going to happen. Rogue tended to stick to a single... _ diversion _ .

 

Lav skipped down the halls of the palace, trying to decide if it was worth the King’s anger to skip his next lesson. It was dancing, but the type of dancing he was taught in his classes was next to useless for anything but the god-awful balls that were thrown three or four times a year.

He sighed quietly as he rounded a corner, slowing his footsteps until he was trudging along as though he were in mourning. 

It would not be worth the anger. That much was certain. The King had been going nearly mental in his preparations for the arrival of the foreign dignitaries. The entire castle had been scrubbed, top to bottom, until you could nearly see your reflection in every over-polished floor and the bedrooms smelled so strongly of vanilla that the scent was sticking to the clothing of every resident. Lav didn’t know for sure why this particular visit was so important, but he had some guesses, and none of them were good. 

He reached the door to his room, pushing it open and stepping inside before shutting it solidly behind him. He leaned back against the door for a moment, taking a deep breath and letting his eyes fall shut as he pushed the worrying thoughts out of his mind. He heard footsteps in the adjoining bathroom and immediately smiled, pushing off the door and crossing the room to look through the open doorway.. 

“Your Princess requires help removing his clothes!”

His manservant jumped violently, evidently not expecting the noise. He spun around to face him, eyes wide before he relaxed, chuckling. “I do believe you have another dance lesson, Your Highness. I don’t think this is a good time for-”

Lav snorted. “It’s always a good time for it, Cer. But no, I truly do need help. I need to wear my split skirts so that I can actually, you know, dance.”

Cer looked him up and down, raising a brow. “You are wearing your split skirts.”

Lav looked down, frowning. How had he not noticed? Oh, right. He’d been being yelled at while he was being dressed this morning. That had certainly taken all of the fun out of it.

He glanced back up at the other, grinning slightly. “Can we change me into a different set, by any chance?”

Cer snorted lightly, waving him off in a way that wasn’t entirely befitting of a servant. Not that Lav had ever even pretended to care. “If I am correct in my timekeeping, you are going to be late to your class if you attempt the feat of dressing quickly. Especially since you seem entirely incapable of it.”

Lav winked. “It would go a lot quicker if someone wasn’t distracting me the whole time.” All he got in response was an eye-roll, causing him to snicker. “You do not seem to be in disagreement, Cerulean.”

“Apparently, you are correct, His Royal Highness Crown Princess Lavender G--”

Lav made a face, holding up one hand. “Let’s not play the name game, I beg of you. We’ll be here all day.” 

Cer laughed, the sound making Lav smile softly at him. He truly did love that expression on him. “Well…” he said, sighing in disappointment as he realized the time. “I must be off. I don’t suppose…?”

His manservant stepped forward, going on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek before backing away, still grinning at him. He waved him off again, shooing him towards the door. “Get out of here before you’re late and the King comes to visit again. I will see you later today, after lessons.”

Lav was grinning widely from the chaste kiss, allowing himself to be manhandled to the door and stealing another one just before he stepped out, cutting off the other’s exclamation of disapproval. He laughed quietly to himself, looking up and down the hallway before he straightened his skirts again, frowning slightly at a stubborn wrinkle. 

A servant passed by, looking hurried, before coming to an abrupt stop and spinning around. “Your highness! Why are you not at your lessons?”

Lav frowned, glancing up at the clock that hung in the hallway. “Do I not still have time to--”

“Highness, you were meant to be in your history lesson until one o’clock! The king requires your immediate presence!”

At that, Lav straightened slightly, his worries coming back in full force. “Why does he--”

“The nobles from Fell have arrived, and he requires you and Prince Rogue to accompany him as he greets the guests.”

Lav hesitated for a moment, sighing quietly before he gestured for the servant to continue on. “Lead on, good sir.”

 

Out of all of the things required of the royal family, all of the boat launches and speeches and knightings, everything required so many damn  _ formalities _ . Lav had always hated it, hated the way he had to curtsy or bow or just nod his head depending on the situation and the person he was greeting, how he had to smash the bottle on the ass-end of a boat in  _ exactly _ the right way or the fucking bottle gods or some shit would rain down hell on the passengers. None of it made any logical sense, and Lust had always been fairly logical. 

But Father insisted on it. And what Father said, went. So, standing outside the doors to the throne room, Lav took a deep breath, resisting the urge to smooth his skirts down again. He reached up and knocked three times, as was custom, before opening the door and stepping through, lowering his gaze and bowing deeply to his father.

King W.D. Gaster stood before his dark throne, nodding in return to his son’s greeting before turning his attention back to his guests. He looked, for all the world, like his entrance had not disturbed him in the least, but Lav could see the hidden anger in his eyes. He suppressed a sigh. He would have to hear about his lateness later. 

Quietly, he crossed the room, taking his place on his father’s left side and keeping his gaze turned down so that he wouldn’t have to worry about greeting anyone. On Lav’s other side, Rogue stood still, a worried look in his eyes that Lav didn’t know the reason for. He willed himself not to worry about it, concentrating instead on the conversation.

“Allow me to introduce my oldest son, Princess Lavender.” 

Lav sighed inwardly. Now he had to greet everyone. He looked up, forcing his brightest smile onto his face, and met the eyes of the dignitary directly in front of him. She had a shock of red hair, a water sprite by the look of her, and wore black armor. She was looking him up and down with disgust, and he forced himself not to glance down at himself and double check that there weren’t any large and hairy spiders crawling up the front of his dress. 

“ _ This _ is your oldest son?” She said, anger palatable in her voice. “Princess Lavender?”

The King sighed. “I can assure you that the rumors about my son are not true, at least not to the extent that the common folk exaggerate them.”

Lav suppressed a smirk. Several of those rumors had been of his own creation. They had served their purpose thus far, at least. There weren’t a lot of kingdoms wishing to marry off their royalty to someone like the person the rumors told him to be. 

The red-haired woman scoffed. “Your highness, I mean no offense, but the purity of the Queen determines the purity of the kingdom!”

Lav raised a brow, then looked to his father in a silent request to speak. The king nodded, already looking as though he regretted it even as the action was being performed. Carefully, he turned back to face the woman. “Well, then I suppose I have something in common with my future kingdom.”

She scrunched up her brow in confusion. “And what is that, Your Highness?” She said his title with no small air of condescension, and he reigned in his annoyance as best he could. 

“We’re both completely fuc--”

“Princess!”

Lav turned to his brother, seeing the look on his face and taking the hint. He closed his mouth tightly, straightening his back and looking down on the woman coldly. It wasn’t his fault she was being a judgemental bitch.

“Captain, while I do appreciate your concern--” Lav looked towards the voice, noticing the speaker for the first time. He was a skeleton, just like his own family and most of their staff, but there was something harder about him, an edge to his features that was rare in the kingdom of Lust. He stood much taller than him, nearly as tall as Rogue, and his eyelights burned a deep, fiery red. “--I was already aware of the connection. The king and I have already come to the decision to accept your proposal, despite some of the obvious…” his eyes flicked to Lav for a moment, then snapped back to the king. “...drawbacks.”

Lav narrowed his eyes. What proposal? And why did it involve him?

The King cleared his throat, nodding in response to the other’s words. “Our kingdoms will only grow all the stronger with this union. I personally look forward to furthering preparations, Prince Jade.

_ Union? _

The prince bowed deeply, first to the king, then to Lav and Rogue. “I do hope, princess, that we may get to know each other better very soon.” Despite his words, there was an undercurrent of anger in his eyes that made Lav think that he very much didn’t want to have these words coming out of his mouth. 

Lav curtsied while his brother bowed, his mind whirling as he tried to come up with any explanation besides the obvious one. 

“I look forward to strengthening the ties between our kingdoms.” he said quietly, hoping that satisfied his requirements. 

The king hummed slightly, then said, “If you would, Prince Rogue?” 

That look was still in Rogue’s eyes, and Lav couldn’t quite grasp why he looked so…

Resigned. 

He stepped forward, producing a sheaf of papers to the foreign prince, and handing another to Lav, refusing to look him in the eye as he did so. 

He looked down, reading the first paper quickly and feeling his eyelights gutter out as he read the word that confirmed all of his worst fears in that moment.

_ Betrothal. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra-vote Question: Who is my favorite YouTuber?  
> Answered! [This is my favorite](https://youtu.be/BJPc49z57bU)


	80. BlueFell Origins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue is a fucking force of nature that can’t be stopped, can’t be controlled, WON’T BE CONTROLLED, HE WON’T BE HALTED IN HIS QUEST OF SPREADING LIGHT TO THE ENTIRE WORLD (thanks for the summary, fresh XD)
> 
> Sorry about the length! But hey, here's a sort-of origin story for the BlueFell storyline

Morals are such a complicated thing. You can get into one person’s head and they are completely sure that they’re doing the right thing, then you jump into another person’s head and they think that completely the opposite is true. I suppose there might be a lot of different things that cause that, but the main one is probably environment. 

Look at Blue, for example. He’s grown up loved and cared for, and as much as I love the little guy, he’s privileged as hell. The hardest things he’s ever really had to do is wake his brother up for work on time. While waking up Stretch for anything is one of the most difficult things in the multiverse, it’s given him the moral compass of someone with his experiences. 

But throw him into a darker world? 

How the hell would he even begin to understand it when things he’s never even  _ imagined _ are seen as a part of daily life? Where death is a necessity born of a poorly-run government and an underground-wide thirst for EXP?

The answer, if we’re being honest, is that he wouldn’t. He’s a damn ball of sunshine, and he would look at someone with 19 LV and think “ _ they still aren’t lost”. _ And that would get him killed. Because these worlds are unforgiving, and they don’t care about little sparks of color, they only want the darkness. 

At least, that what you’d think. The really strange thing is that sometimes? It works. You take the captain of the royal guard, 7 LV, practically lost to emotion and to love, and you put Blue in front of him and his whole…”love” thing...it  _ works _ . You take someone like Blue and you introduce him to the Captain’s brother, a lazy good-for-nothing with an attitude, and he fucking  _ changes _ .

And the question it leaves you asking is  _ how _ . How the hell does it work with them, but no one else? How the hell is this little spark of sunshine still alive just because he happened to find the right set of brothers and he doesn’t know how to give up on anyone?

I’ll fucking tell you why.

A chocolate cake, a blue bandana, and, yeah,  _ love. _

When Blue goes to UnderFell, he doesn’t just go because he “accidentally” fired up the strange machine in the basement, or because his brother didn’t happen to be home to stop him from stepping through the portal and into one of the most dangerous worlds in the multiverse. 

No, Blue goes to UnderFell because that place needs someone like Blue. They need someone who’s going to change the damn world, like only he seems to be capable of. 

And when Fell finds him? Terrified beyond belief, his 1 HP hanging by a thread?

Let’s just say it’s not the pain-drunk assertion that he knows how to make cake that made him pick him up and take him home, no matter what he would insist on. 

Both of the brothers, starting out so dark, see this light, they see the brightness of the other’s soul, and they can’t help but want for something they didn’t even know they were missing. And they will be  _ damned _ if anything is going to take their Blue away from them.

Including his piece of shit brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra-vote questions (yep, there is more than one this time, since they're harder): 
> 
> What is my favorite video game of all time? (not Undertale, strangely enough)  
> What is my favorite band?  
> What is my first name? [Answered!](http://logocache.com/custom-design/logo-name/Emma-designstyle-birthday-m.png)  
> And for a fun, 18+ one, am I more of a dom or a sub? [Answered!](https://youtu.be/pBI0PTntuDE?t=38)


	81. I Have a Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been back for like five minutes and you guys already hate me what's going on???
> 
> Oh, wait, I was seeing into the future, right after you read this...  
> *nervous laughter*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ART](http://whothebuckyisfucky.tumblr.com/post/157992908057/i-apologize-for-even-more-utxuf-sans-but) (everyone go show them some love they are AMAZING)
> 
> Also on [Tumblr](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/158838647599/i-have-a-proposal)!

Red didn’t think he’d ever been so nervous in his entire life. He followed Sans up the hill, listening to the other chatting excitedly about the stars they were here to see.

He was lugging his telescope under one arm, practically having sprinted up the stairs to get it when he found out where they were going. Red had hinted that he had a surprise for him, and when he asked what the surprise was, he had panicked and told him that the stars were the surprise. Despite the lame answer, the excited look on the other’s face had been well worth the time it had taken to find a place to stargaze. 

They reached the top, and Sans started setting up the telescope, still talking about the different stars and how he had read about them in all these different books, and how excited he was to see them up close and personal.

Red took a deep breath, watching Sans as he peered through the telescope. He waited until he was thoroughly distracted, then he reached into his pocket, fingering the object inside before he took another deep breath, suddenly feeling as though he was going to throw up. His legs shaking, he lowered himself to the ground, settling on one knee and looking up at his boyfriend, waiting for him to notice. 

“...and if you look, you can see Orion, right between the--”

Sans glanced to the side, smiling as he talked about his favorite thing in the world, the nerd, and his mouth dropped open as he put the pieces together and realized what was happening. He stepped away from his telescope, eyes wide and seemingly at a complete loss for words. 

“S-sans--” Red’s voice was shaking, and he willed it to stop, glancing down at the ground for a second before he looked back up, making eye contact with the other. He felt a wave of something strong rush through him, and set his face determinedly. He  _ loved _ Sans. This was the greatest moment of his life, the first day of the rest of their future together. 

He could do this. 

“Sans, you are my whole world. I don’t know where I would be without you, or how I would have survived without you in my life, keepin’ me from doing something stupid, helping me back up onto my feet after every stupid thing I’ve ever done anyway. A-and I know there’s been a lot!” He gave a nervous chuckle, shifting slightly. Sans had gone completely still, staring down at him like he’d never seen him before. “B-but you just keep...keep on bein’ there. For me. And I...I wanna be there for you, too. For the rest of our  _ lives _ , I want to be there for you.” His voice cracked slightly, and he glanced down again. “But...uh...well, Sans…” He pulled the little box out of his pocket, holding it up for a moment, then flushing as he realized he’d forgotten to open it. “I-I want nothin’ more than to b-be with you, forever. So….so will you…” He swallowed around the lump in his throat, then forced himself to look up and meet Sans’ eyes. He faltered at the expression in them. Sans looked...sad?

“Red…”

He shook his head slightly, tears starting to gather in full force as his arms dropped slightly, unsure. He forced his next words out, but they were barely a whisper. “Will you marry me?”

Sans just kept  _ staring _ at him. Why...why wasn’t he answering? Red felt his soul tightening, his breath coming faster as the anxiety started to get to him.

“No.”

Red blinked, his arms dropping completely to rest against his ribcage. “W-what?”

Sans wrapped his arms around himself, his gaze falling to rest between his feet. He looked as uncomfortable as Red had ever seen him before. “I-I can’t, Red. No.”

With shaking hands, he closed the box, staring down at it for a moment before he shoved the thing in his pocket, completely unsure how to respond to this. He forced his tears away and pushed himself up to stand. His soul felt like it was imploding, waves of a deep, throbbing  _ pain  _ arcing its way through his body. “W-wow. A-alright then. I...uh...I guess I’d sort of…” He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking up at the sky for a moment before he took a deep breath to gather himself. “I’d sort of planned for a yes. But...uh...that’s-that’s okay, you’re....uh…” This wasn’t working. He could feel his emotions getting the best of him, and he found himself surprised by how much the pure  _ awkwardness _ of the situation was getting to him. 

“Red, honey…” 

He looked down to see Sans right in front of him, and was overcome by the urge to wrap his arms around him and never let go. He just shoved his hands further into his pockets. What did you even  _ do _ after something like this? Had he...had he just screwed up everything between them? He cursed himself for being so stupid, for misreading things, for managing to drive away the  _ one _ person who had ever made him feel like he was worth something, like he was  _ loved _ \--

Before he could really stop it, he was crying, his head dropping as he pushed the tears away. His soul  _ hurt _ , and he reached up with his free hand and pressed a closed fist to the place where it was hidden under his ribcage. 

Someone hugged him, and he realized faintly that it was Sans. He didn’t  _ want _ this, he didn’t want the pity, he knew he was crying but he--he didn’t want the other to think he couldn’t handle it, he didn’t want Sans to do something out of guilt that he didn’t mean, and--

“Red, please, look at me, it’s okay.”

He forced himself to make eye contact, nearly dropping his gaze when he saw the worry in the other’s eyelights and a new wave of shame washed over him. “I promise it’s okay. It’s--It’s not you. It’s okay.”

“T-then why--”

Sans was shaking his head slightly, then he pressed his teeth to the side of Red’s head in a gesture that nearly had him breaking down into sobs. “I  _ love _ you. And I would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. B-but…”

Red realized with a shock that Sans was crying, too. He reached around, pulling the other close automatically. 

“I  _ never _ want to get married. T-the idea that...that the universe could r-reset, a-a-and we would be separated--” he started to cry harder, and Red pressed their foreheads together, squeezing  his eyes shut as he started to realize what Sans was talking about. The other took a deep breath before continuing. “M-my soul was always...always unaffected by the resets, so if we bonded, it would stay, even if you got sent back, even if I lost  _ everything _ with no way to get it back, and I just...I c-can’t….can’t take the risk that I would have to--” He broke down into real sobs now, repeating that he was sorry, that he was so sorry to do this, that he didn’t  _ want _ to, and Red just held him close until it was over, and his shoulders had stopped shaking with the force of his crying. 

“Sans, I am never going to stop loving you, and I would gladly take the risk just to prove that to you, but...but I understand, okay? I really do.” He drew away slightly, pressing a kiss to Sans’ temple, then reached up, grabbing him by the grin and forcing the other to look at him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I am sorry for putting you in this position, and for not even  _ thinking _ …” he trailed off, frustrated with himself, then shook his head slightly. “I love you, Sans. And that is never going to change, whether we are married or not.”

Sans smiled at him tearily before leaning forward and kissing him lightly. “I love you too. And I…” he took a deep breath, then continued. “I hope I never have to lose you.”

“Me neither, sweetheart.” Red turned his attention up to the sky, and Sans followed his gaze, eyes softening as he lost himself slightly to the majesty of the night sky. Red glanced down, his soul swelling at the sight of him. “What do you say we finish our date without any more important questions?”

Sans snorted lightly. “Damn it, I was going to ask about your credit score and everything.”

“I don’t have a credit score, we’ve only been on the surface for six months.”

“Perfect!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to end this sadly and I just couldn't go through with it, guys...
> 
> Extra-Vote Question: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Answered!


	82. A Night Off and a Dress 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 to this...whatever it is lol
> 
> Updated names:  
> Fell-Jade  
> Red-Carmine  
> Lust-Lavender (Lav)  
> Sans-Cerulean (Cer)  
> Pink-Rouge  
> Blue-Periwinkle  
> Razz- Byzantium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because of upcoming content in the third chapter, I'm moving this series to it's own fic, which is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10092563/chapters/22481489).

Lav felt like he was on the edge of a precipice, a mere breath from tumbling off the edge and into an abyss the likes of which had never been seen before. His hands were trembling, shaking the paper in his grasp until suddenly, something grabbed onto them, holding him still.  
Lav jumped slightly, his eyelights fluttering back into existence as he looked up and into his brother’s eyes. They were full of regret, and of pity, and of an overwhelming sadness that Lav felt echoed the feelings in his own soul all too well. He felt an unfamiliar rush of anger flow through him, jealousy and rage sparking up inside him and making him want to smash his brother’s face in for keeping this from him, for...for not being the one who had to have their heart broken…  
And with that, his negative feelings towards his brother were gone. Out of all the people in this kingdom, or any other, Rogue was the one who understood his pain the most, the only one who could look at him right now and even begin to imagine what he might be going through.  
~~~  
Cerulean hummed as he looked over the bathroom again. He set his sponge aside and straightened, stretching and hearing his spine pop in several places. He shuddered; that sound had always bothered him a bit.  
He thought he was finished? He knew Lav wouldn’t care if he’d missed a spot or two, but even he had to take a certain amount of pride in his work. He stared down into the tub, looking carefully for anything he may have missed, then shrugged when he didn’t find anything. Good enough?  
He emptied out the washtub, storing his supplies in the closet before entering the bedroom, looking around for something to do. He’d already finished his chores for the day, and Lav had not yet returned from his classes, leaving him devoid of distractions. He sighed, resisting the urge to throw himself onto the freshly made bed and groan. It didn’t matter how many nights he’d spent in it, it wouldn’t do for someone to walk in and wonder why he looked so comfortable here.  
Almost in answer to the thought, there was a knock on the door before it was flung open with a bang. Cer jumped, spinning around as a voice echoed into the room, sounding very similar to his own.  
“Aw, shit! Sorry, Cer! Didn’t mean to bang the door like that!”  
Cer snickered at his friend, stepping forward and inspecting the wall for any dents that had been left behind. “So you’re banging the doors, now, huh? The royal family may object to that, if I’m not mistaken.”  
Carmine stepped around him and into the room, studying the wall alongside him before breathing a sigh of relief. “I don’t think there are many members of the royal family that object to much of anything on that front, as I’m sure you well know.”  
Cer snickered before he muffled himself with the back of one hand. “Carmine, you can’t say these things. You’re going to get beheaded.”  
“I sincerely doubt it, the things I’ve done for this family.” Carmine closed the door, being more careful this time to close it quietly.  
Cer gave him a doubtful look. “...like what?”  
Carmine shot him a wink, and he snorted again, following the other further into the room and watching his face closely to see exactly what part of his chores he was about to try to fuck up “accidentally”.  
“I swear to the King that if you mess up that bed, I’m going to Rogue’s chambers and wrinkling all of his shirts.  
“And I swear if you do anything to make me have to do a moment more ironing today, I will mess up every bed in the castle and blame it on you.” Carmine grinned wickedly, then said, “Though it would probably be blamed on your prince.”  
Cer gave a loud snort, and gathered up some folded towels that sat on a chair near the end of the bed. “How do you feel about accompanying me to the linens room? I need to return these.”  
Red straightened up as tall as he could, putting on his most serious face and offering his arm in a gentlemanly sort of way. “Why, I would be honored. Wouldst thou allow me to escort you?”  
Cer snorted. “Fuck off. Let’s go.”  
Carmine laughed as they walked out into the hall, slamming the door shut behind them accidentally.  
~~~  
Lav took the pen that was given him, signing without his usual flourish and refusing to meet the eyes of anyone else in the room, especially his betrothed. He hadn’t even considered, not for a moment, of refusing. He didn’t have any lasting rebellious thought, no tear-stained threat of his father disowning him hanging above his head to keep him in line.  
He was an adult. Despite his rumor-making and his skipped classes, he was the 26-year-old son of the king. He knew as well as any member of the royal circle that their kingdom needed this. They needed this desperately.  
It was no one’s fault but his own that he had chosen to become a Queen.  
~~~  
“Hey, why aren’t you with Rogue, by the way?”  
Cer was carefully placing the towels back on the shelves, distracted by the task of doing everything he possibly could not to piss of the laundry maids. They were, in all honesty, scarier than the royal guard.  
Carmine handed him the next towel, then shrugged. “That big party from Fell arrived today, and the King required his presence.”  
“Shouldn’t Lav have been made to go, then, too?”  
“He probably is there. I know Star was looking for him earlier, but he’d left his classes early, evidently.”  
Cer snorted. That sounded like Lav, though the fact that he’d shown up at all was something he found hard to believe, despite the lecture he’d received that morning. “He came to his rooms, asking to change into a skirt he was already wearing.” He turned back to collect the next towel, only to see Carmine waggling his eyebrows at him, a giant grin across his face. “Shut up, pervert, that was not what happened.”  
Carmine handed him the last towel with a chuckle, leaning back against the wall and continuing to give him a look. Cer studiously ignored it, stacking the towel and turning to face his friend, frown fixed on his face as he took in the other’s appearance. “What?”  
“Did you know that commoners having intimate connections with royalty is pretty frowned upon?”  
Cer glared at the smiling asshole in front of him, folding his arms and raising a brow. “Did you know that you’re a hypocrite? And that you should shut up before someone hears you?”  
Carmine opened his mouth, probably to make a stupid pun, but before he could say anything, a voice said, “Hears you what?”  
Cer jumped violently, spinning around to see Periwinkle and Byzantium, the laundry maids, walking into the storage area they were currently occupying. Byzantium was currently lugging around a huge laundry basket, sweating slightly under the weight and trying to pretend he wasn’t as Periwinkle bounced between the shelves, taking things out of the basket and arranging them carefully. They were both looking at the two of them curiously, Periwinkle’s head tipped to one side. He heard Carmine swear under his breath, and, privately, he agreed.  
“Before someone hears him talking about how adorable you are, Peri.” Cer said, shooting the other a small wink and ignoring the annoyed look Carmine was giving him.  
Periwinkle clasped his hands under his chin, his eyes transforming into stars as he gasped. “Really?!”  
At the same time, Byzantium rolled his eyes. “Bullshit,” he muttered, pointedly ignoring the look Periwinkle shot him and adjusting his grip on the basket. “Can we finish shelving?”  
~~~  
“Princess.”  
Lav bowed, keeping his eyes cast down and doing his best to avoid meeting the eyes of his betrothed. He didn’t want to see him. He didn’t want to look up and see the red and imagine a flash of blue in their place.  
“Prince. Welcome to our kingdom. I hope to be able to know you more in the days to come.”  
The words felt like sandpaper, dragged out of his mouth, stinging his unconjured tongue as they scraped by. Lav straightened, still not able to meet the other’s eyes, still not able to truly admit to himself that this was to be his...his husband.  
“And I you. I trust we will have much time to become acquainted.”  
He hoped he wasn’t causing offense. He knew of the eyes on him in this moment, on them. Every member of the court, every monster from the visiting kingdom, every single one of them were watching, looking for any and all bits of gossip, of rumors, and, in the case of the kingdom of Fell, any excuse to withdraw their Prince from the deal.  
Lav straightened his shoulders. He could not be the cause of his kingdom’s downfall. He forced himself to look up and meet the other’s eyes, the smile he made himself form seeming strained, though he hoped it wasn’t obvious.  
“I am looking forward to every moment of it.”  
Jade was looking at a point somewhere over his head, but as Lav’s gaze rose, his dropped, seeming to have come to the same conclusion he had. Their eyes met, and Lav felt something pass between them, something pitying at the same time that it was angry. Something understanding.  
And as empty as his own soul felt in that moment, it seemed to be almost childish emotion compared to the pure nothingness that this prince held in his own eyes.  
“Not as much as I, princess, I am sure.”  
~~~  
“Oh, and did you hear the news yet?” Periwinkle gossiped happily, shelving the last of the bedsheets they had brought and turning to look at where Carmine and Cer were now sitting, chins in hand and doing their best to look interested. Byzantium wasn’t even trying to hide his smirk at their fate anymore. As used to his partner’s gossiping as he was, he had long since learned to tune him out.  
After a moment of silence, Cer realized they’d been expected to respond and looked up just long enough to intone, “Nope. What’s the news?”  
“You’ve heard of the Fell royal family, right? Of course you have, they’re from the country right next to ours, but apparently that visiting group has Prince Jade!”  
Carmine and Cer nodded in unison, both already perfectly aware.  
“Oh, but of course you know that, you’re the manservants to the prince and princess. You must have the best information of any servant in the castle, with the way those two talk! Oh, Cer, you must be drowning under all the excitement!”  
Cer raised a brow. He was certainly drowning under something… “Excitement for what?”  
“Well, from the princess, of course! He must be ecstatic! Prince Jade is so handsome!” A longing sort of look crossed the other’s face, and Carmine let out a small snort of amusement at the offended look that cropped up on Byzantium’s face.  
Cer swallowed a smile, then looked up in confusion at Periwinkle, who was holding out his hands for the basket from Byzantium. “Princess Lavender has never been one for idle flirtation, despite what the rumors say. Why would he be excited?”  
Periwinkle snorted, setting the basket aside and putting his hands on his hips. He gave Cer a look that they all knew he saved for the real troublemakers of the castle, which Cer felt mildly offended by. Carmine was right there, the very picture of a troublemaker, and he was getting The Look?  
“Oh, come now, Cer. Don’t play like you didn’t know. The betrothal, of course!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this fic WILL NOT be updated on COSOS again, it is all [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10092563/chapters/22481489) from now on! So go there and bookmark it and stuff!
> 
> The prize for guessing #1 is a chapter request, and the others are worth an extra vote
> 
> The Question is: What is my favorite book?
> 
> 1.ERAGON  
> 2.Percy Jackson (and HOO and, really, anything by Rick Riordan)  
> 3\. Harry Potter  
> 4.  
> 5.


	83. OT3 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell there are a lot of these. Okay, so because of both the fact that the OT3 series literally makes up 12% of this OSC and some future events I have planned for the story, the next update will be the last one that happens in here. From then on, I'll be posting it as a separate story. Just forewarning you guys, I'll put the link to it in that chapter!

“Do I  _ have _ to go?”

Blue gave him a scandalized look, and Sans stifled a snicker, aware of how he looked at the moment. He had been laying on the couch watching TV while Red made him a mid-afternoon snack (who said being pregnant wasn’t fun sometimes?) when Blue had announced their impending departure, and he hadn’t bothered to actually turn around to talk to him. Instead, he pushed himself backwards, letting his head rest upside-down and his body arch halfway over the arm of the couch, his shirt riding up slightly and showing off the softly glowing ecto-form that he had to have summoned all the time now. Hey, there was nothing wrong with gathering a few pity points, was there?

Unfortunately, Blue was having none of it. He folded his arms, continuing to give him that look that normally brokered no argument. They stared each other down, Sans attempting to stifle the giggles that were threatening to make their way to the surface. 

He heard Red come into the room before he came to an abrupt stop, probably looking between them and wondering what the fuck they were doing. 

“Tell Sans he has to come to the party.”

Red sighed loudly, and Sans battled another round of hysteria. 

“Sans, you have to come to the party.” Red’s voice couldn’t have been more monotone as he crossed the room to place the ketchup sandwich on Sans’ lap, his lack of interest in the argument very apparent. Sans felt his shirt being tugged down by careful fingers, and spared a smile at the other’s care, which Blue struggled not to return.

Sans picked up the sandwich blindly, trying to decide if it was worth it to keep eye contact and eat the sandwich upside down. “Tell Blue I’m pregnant and I don’t wanna.”

“He’s pregnant and he--”

“Red, please!” Blue said, snorting slightly as he held out one hand in his direction. Red snickered and carefully pushed Sans’ legs out of the way before sitting down on the couch, picking up the remote and switching the channel. Blue sighed again and came closer to Sans, gently pushing him to sit up and eat before taking up the same stance in front of the couch where he could see him. “It’s your brother’s birthday. You can’t just skip it.”

Sans swallowed his mouthful, glancing up and letting his eyelights blow out slightly and puffing out his cheeks to make himself look as cute as possible. “But we’re gonna have dinner with him on his actual birthday! This is just the dumb drinking party! He’ll understand!”

Blue raised a brow, then reached out and grabbed the plate out of Sans’ lap. He let out a yelp of surprise, making a grab for it and nearly falling off the couch before Red grabbed his arm and pulled him back on. “Careful, sweetheart, you don’t want to hurt yourself.”

Sans’ mouth opened and closed for a moment, then he frowned, folding his arms in a pout and glaring at Blue. “He stole my sandwich!”

“Yes, I did. You can have it back when you stand up and put your coat on. You too, Red, or I’m hiding your handcuffs.”

Grumbling, Red pushed himself to his feet, holding out a hand for Sans to take. He pouted for a moment longer, then took it, heaving himself up to stand like it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. Blue grumbled for a moment at the display, muttering something about “only three months” before he followed them to the door, still holding the sandwich.  

Red held out Sans’ coat, and he shrugged it on before making grabby hands at Blue, who sighed and handed the sandwich over, immediately grabbing his hood to stop him from shortcutting back onto the couch with his prize. Red snickered, then took hold of both of their arms. “Ready?” 

Blue nodded, and Red dragged them all into the void, popping out a moment later in the middle of Papyrus’ living room. 

Still pouting, Sans stomped over to the nearest couch, plopping down and finishing his sandwich grumpily and completely ignoring everyone else in the room. Red snickered, and Blue shot him a look. 

“Hello, brother.” Fell appeared next to them, holding out a drink towards Red. Before he could say or do anything, Blue grabbed it out of the larger’s hands, tipping it back and chugging the contents. He winced slightly at the burn, and Red started snickering harder at the expression on his brother’s face. 

“Hard day at the office, Blue-boy?”

Blue stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend before spotting his brother and walking away without a word. Fell looked at Red in confusion, furthering his amusement. 

“Is everything alright at home?” Fell asked, looking concerned. 

Red was quick to reassure him, telling him about the nuisance Sans had been making of himself and prompting his brother to snort loudly, drawing several looks. They all still found it strange how much happier the captain had become over the past few years. Even Red himself sometimes found himself in awe of the change. 

Lust walked out of the kitchen, Papyrus trailing behind him with a look of confusion and amusement on his face, a look that was common among those who attempted conversation with either of those brothers. He made an immediate beeline for his brother, giving him a careful hug and murmuring something quietly. Sans swallowed his pout, as he always did for his brother, and chatted back with him. Lust, about to walk in a different direction, paused, watching the exchange.

Red frowned slightly at him, following his gaze. Sans was smiling happily at his brother, and his joints were flushing slightly with blue magic, as they’d been doing lately when he got tired or emotional. Red felt a flutter of concern cross his soul, wondering what was wrong, and Sans seemed to feel something of it from his magic, glancing up and giving him a reassuring smile. Red returned it, about to return to his conversation with his brother when he noticed the look on Lust’s face.

Picking up a drink, Lust called to Sans, “Hey, heads up!” before tossing it in his direction. 

Sans reacted quickly, catching it without a second thought before he seemed to realize what it was and his eyes widened slightly. They’d agreed that they were going to keep this a secret from anyone but their brothers, just in case something went wrong. Blue had rightly said that it would be unthinkable to have to tell everyone all over again if the worst happened. But now Sans had a drink in his hand, and Lust’s loud-ass voice had caught the attention of a large portion of the party.

Sans coughed uncomfortably, passing the bottle from hand to hand for a moment before opening his mouth, probably to give some lame excuse about not being thirsty. Before he could say anything, however, Blue appeared again, snatching the bottle out of his hands and continuing on as though nothing had happened, cracking it open as he went and ignoring the very amused looks both of his partners were giving him. 

Lust folded his arms loosely, giving them all a knowing look. Red flipped him off subtly, and he heard Sans snort before turning back to his brother, returning to the conversation. Red excused himself and crossed the room, coming up beside Lust and touching him lightly on the shoulder to draw his attention away from Sans. 

“We shoulda known you and your bro would be able to figure it out.”

Lust jumped slightly, glancing back at him for a split second before he looked back, suppressing a grin. “Honestly, it was only a matter of time. You three are so closely bonded that it’s almost sickening.”

Red followed his gaze just in time to see Papyrus stand up, bidding his brother goodbye and going to greet some newcomers. Blue almost immediately sat in Papyrus’ vacated seat, throwing his arm over Sans’ shoulders and pulling him in close. He said something quietly that made Sans laugh and relax back into him, the sandwich incident apparently forgotten. Blue planted a kiss on top of the other’s head and closed his eyes, his soul glowing brightly enough that Red could just barely see it through his shirt. 

Red felt a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth as he watched them, aware of Lust grinning at him out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, I suppose we’re pretty close, aren’t we? Still, never thought something like this would ever happen to someone like me.”

Lust clapped him on the shoulder, beginning to walk away before Red stopped him. “Hey, don’t be spreadin’ this around town, alright? We’re keeping it secret for a bit, in case somethin’...y’know.”

Lust’s face darkened for a split second, brightening back into a knowing smile quickly enough that Red wasn’t sure he’d seen anything else at all. 

“Of course. Wouldn’t dream of it.”


	84. Brain Vomit (You Might Want to Get That Checked Out)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I did this up real quick, because all I seem to want to write right now is String Theory. So this basically is just a random spatter of writing, sort of like a megalovania except even more random and short than usual and I didn't actually time myself, though I did note when the song would change. I put on a playlist and I just went ahead and wrote. I will add the full list of songs in the notes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [PTX-Can't Hold Us](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OglS3Q0Zxik)   
>  [PTX-I Need Your Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6C2N2t4NXE)   
>  [James Arthur-Say You Won't Let Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA)   
>  [John Legend-Love Me Now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmCFY1oYDeM)   
>  [Get Scared-Sarcasm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ahN0f0r9JQ)   
>  [Henry Gallagher-Lightning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYRsOkczvmA)   
>  [Katy Perry-Chained To The Rhythm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um7pMggPnug)   
>  [Lana Del Rey-Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-NTv0CdFCk)   
> 

Razz is the sort of person that has never cared what people think. At least, not normal people. In his world, he had to worry about what people thought all the damn time, the fear for himself and his brother occupying his mind and thoughts every moment of every day. When you spend every moment of your life for years watching your own every move until you feel like you can't anymore, it feels kind of nice to be an asshole. He gets to be entirely himself now, and it's wonderful in a way he's never had a chance to really explore before. Who even  _is_ he? Outside of his aggressive front, he really has no idea. Good thing he's got a shit ton of friends he pretends not to like that will help him figure it out, right?

Blue is a whole different story. He's spent his whole life behind a persona, yes, but not out of any danger. He has just learned what works to get him what he wants and he chases the hell out of that. It's fantastic to find something **{** **song change}** worth coming out of that adorable little shell and being who he actually wants to be. And don't worry, he's still as adorable as ever and he still gets everything he could ever want, he just doesn't have to pretend so much anymore.

When it comes to pretending, though, Sans takes the gold crown. Or, at least he thinks he does. He's constantly pretending, but no one really believes it. Papyrus has always known that he's lost in his own mind, but he has no idea how to help him through it. He's unknowing of the fact that nothing in the world helps more than him being himself. And when Sans connects with the rest of them, he find out that he's truly not alone, and the facade drops away. He's never felt so free in his life.

Red is very similar. He's also complete shit at pretending, but he's had even more practice than Sans has, because he has the added hardship of living in a Fell  **{Song change}**  world. So not only does he have to hide the resets and his own dissolving sanity from his brother, he has to hide any modicum of kindness or weakness from everyone in his world. Then he finds the others, and it all stops. 

Lust is a unique case, when it comes to Sanses. He doesn't pretend a damn thing, except to himself. He's very open about the fact that his mental state is shit, he just copes with it by losing himself in sex. I mean, I would go further into this, but I covered it pretty extensively in Roommate Bros, if you've read that, and I don't feel like repeating myself at the moment. 

All this pretending is sort of....interesting, in a way? I don't think that's the right way to put it, exactly, but I'm typing as fast as I can right now and I don't think I want to go back and change it or think about a different way of putting it. But now I've wasted more time, so  _anyway_... It's sort of...beautiful?  **{song change}** how when they all come together, they don't have to pretend anymore. They get to find out that pretending isn't necessary when you find someone to related to. And I didn't even go over the Papyruses, because I don't really like Papyruses, to be perfectly honest. 

Hey, let's talk about that, why don't we. Why does Crush not like Papyruses? Because Papyruses are shady as hell. All of them except Fell, that is. I know, I know. I'm not saying he's nice. He's just honest about how much of a dickhead he his. Stretch, especially, just rubs me the wrong way with how easily he translates into a possessive, creepy character. Like, no, dude, you don't own your brother. He owns himself. Stop. And UT Papyrus gets written as this angelicly perfect character but there is no way in hell anyone is that perfect, and Slim just has so much creepy potential that I have no fuckin idea how to even begin to get into. 

This is not to say that they don't have their good sides. I quite like writing SpicyHoney, and Swellcest is in my top 10 OTP lists.  **{song change}** I just, personally, have a hard time getting away from the shady characterizations.

Now that I've said all this, I kind of feel bad, because I really do have fun with all of them (except UT Paps as you guys know). The first time I watched an Undertale LP, my favorite character was Undyne, closely followed by Papyrus. It's just now, having spent so much time in these universes, that I start to get the creepy vibes. But they really can be fun to write, especially when I'm writing them being assholes, because aren't asshole characters just the most fun to write?

Hey, let's talk about ships. Because why not. We're chattin', right? Pull up a chair.  **{song change}**  You guys know how I feel about Kustard, right? I'm a little bit obsessed. Seriously, if there's a kustard fic, I've read it. If there is a fic where they're just friends, I've read it and it's caused me physical pain. Same with CherryBerry, honestly. Honeymustard fics drive me absolutely insane because the whole damn time I'm reading them I'm like "Dude, wrong brother". It's probably a good thing for my that CherryBlossom isn't really a thing very often because if it was I would probably cry from the "wrong brother" of it. Kedgeup is bad enough, even though I do like Kedgeup. 

Holy hell, don't even get me started on RottenBerry. No one freakin writes it! At least, liking Kustard, there's a lot of material to go through! But nooooo my #2 ship has fuckin  _nothing_ anywhere! What is this???

Maybe talking about  **{song change}** ships isn't the greatest idea in the world. I can feel the emotions rn. Also, I did already go through the whole ships thing with that one chapter I did with the menu not too long ago. 

I have a thing for characters dancing, if you guys haven't noticed that yet. I don't know why. I'm starting to lose my steam, I think. I'm running out of good ideas of things to talk about. Maybe I'll just end the chapter here?  **{song change}** It really has been a while since I've posted anything on here, and honestly, this is the best you're gonna get. I can't stop writing Kustard rn, and I don't think the kind of stuff I've been writing would be appropriate for this SFW collection. Why not have this chapter be a little opportunity for ya'll to shoot me some requests. I think I really am done writing for the moment, so yeah, let's have some fun in the comments. 

Why do you guys want to see? What pairings do you like me to write? What series have I not updated lately that you want me to update? What are you guys tired of seeing? Please, use some honesty and constructive critisism and stuff. I want to write what you want me to write. And if you've made a request in the past and I haven't fulfilled it to your expectations, feel free to make the request again. 

Thanks for hanging out with me, sorry this chapter is such shit, it will probably be a little while before I post the next one. 


	85. String Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I was writing the latest chapter of this [fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10085411) I'm obsessed with writing lately, and it was just not going the way it needed to go for what I have planned for the chapter, and since it's SFW, I thought I'd post what I did have here! It can be read alone, so you don't have to worry about reading all of ST before you read this lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bUGuoV1vVY) I was listening to.

For Sans’ whole life, he’d had trouble falling asleep. He walked around in a state of near-permanent exhaustion, crashing in random places when his body couldn’t take it anymore. When he was a kid, it was mostly nightmares, visions of a strange goopy monster following him around and threatening to take him away. As he grew up, the nightmares faded, replaced with the nearly intentional insomnia that came with being a teenager who loved the stars, replaced with the night shifts of early adulthood, replaced, again, with the nightmares that came with watching everyone he knew and loved killed, over and over again. 

He’d lain awake so many nights, staring at the ceiling and trying to convince himself that maybe this time, when he closed his eyes, his worst fears wouldn’t be waiting for him. It never seemed to work, and he memorized every line and crack of the ceiling to a degree that both surprised and worried his brother, the one time he pointed it out. 

He remembered the first time he’d had a nightmare in the new house. He’d woken up to Red leaning over his bed, a truly worried expression on his face as he woke him. When their eyes met, Sans’ wide and terrified, his face had fallen. All had been silent for a long time before Sans finally spoke, starting to apologize for waking him up, but Red waved him off. “Nah,” he’d said, “Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t...I don’t really sleep a whole lot at night. Wanna come watch some TV?”

It was honestly the nicest Red had ever been to him at that point, and he’d found his mood lightening with the hope that maybe they’d found common ground, that maybe,  _ just maybe _ , they might be able to relate to each other through the worst of their shared pain. 

Of course, as soon as they got downstairs, Red had started being an asshole again, stealing the remote and the afghan and summoning his tongue purely so that he could stick it out at Sans. He’d rolled his eyes and mentally taken it all back, convinced that Red was a lost cause and all he had to do was tough it out until Paps returned from college. 

_ Dust, drifting through the wind, sticking to his clothes. How fucked up was it that he knew from experience that no amount of effort would get it off? It wasn’t like he usually felt like trying, anyway, so he supposed it didn’t matter. _

Nightmares and lost sleep were just something he was used to, and something he was going to have to resign himself to. A permanent part of him, of his whole character, that he was going to find new ways to snark about when people commented on it. 

_ He turned around, looking for the path the human had taken, though he already knew it by heart. This time, though...there was no path. The figure standing in front of him, strangely familiar, wouldn’t have needed to make one. _

There really wasn’t anything he could really do to change how exhausted he tended to be. Not when sleep meant... _ that _ .

_ “Heya, sweetheart.” _

Sans jerked awake, sucking in a violent breath as he felt hands on his ribs, touching his scar, and there was an arm wrapped around him and he was--he was  _ trapped _ , that’s what he was, and he needed to get away--

“Whoa! Hey, Sans--”

He felt his eyes filling with tears at the voice, the fear growing inside his soul until it felt like he was at his breaking point. He was kicking, trying to sit up, but he  _ couldn’t _ , he couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t get away, why was he  _ trapped _ \--

“Sans, you’re awake now. Deep breaths, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

The voice was strangely calm, and he felt himself responding to it, his whirling mind calming and his body stilling. As he heard the exaggerated breaths right beside his head, he imitated them, pulling in air that didn’t have any scientific necessity but was still calming to pull in and push out. He felt himself relaxing, and his tears stopped, the pair of arms he was now realizing belonged to Red no longer feeling as though they were trapping him. Instead, he pushed himself deeper into them, seeking the kind of comfort he only seemed to get from this, anymore. 

He realized, suddenly, that he was talking, whispering, his words pouring from his mouth faster than his overwhelmed mind could think them. “I’m sorry, Red, I’m so sorry, I didn’t--I didn’t want you to--I’m so  _ sorry _ , please, this isn’t what I--”

“Shhh…” He could feel the other’s hand smoothing over his skull, and he leaned into the contact, feeling himself on the edge of tears again. He felt one of the arms let go of him, and he realized somewhere in the back of his mind that Red was turning off the already-muted TV, giving him his full attention. “It’s okay, Sans, it wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. You don’t have to apologize.”

Sans broke down into sobs, burying his face into the other’s chest and letting it all out, his fear and embarrassment, all the emotion warring through his soul. Red just held him close, letting him cry all over his shirt.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here.”


	86. Cookie-Cutter CherryBerry Fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I came up with this totally new and unique idea that I’ve never seen before where Red, abused by his asshole of a brother, ends up in UnderSwap and falls in love with one of the brothers there!
> 
> Rad, right??!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of sleeping like I really should be i decided to shitpost. Because why not. I'm laughing at this, but I'm also exhausted, so this might not be as funny as I think it is. LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE OF THIS, BECAUSE HELL YEAH MAN WHO KNOWS WHERE THIS STORY COULD POSSIBLY GO

“SANS WHAT THE FUCK”

Red sighed. That would be his brother. Well, fuck this universe.

Suddenly and magically, the living room was no longer his living room. Boss was sitting in front of him, but holy fuck that wasn’t boss. Boss wouldn’t wear whatever the fuck color that was, what was this guy, a traffic cone?

_ Wait I don’t know what a traffic cone is I grew up in a world without cars _ thought Red, and it confused him.

The high-looking Not-Boss on the couch looked at him for a minute or two, then turned around and yelled into the kitchen. “SANS I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT THIS GUY LOOKS SHADY AS HELL”

A tiny blue skeleton sprinted into the other room, also looking high, but on an entirely different brand of narcotics. “PAPY DON’T SWEAR IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU”

“We don’t even have real throats, we’re skeletons and I don’t think I can get lung cancer.”

“That’s the wrong lecture, Papy”

“Oh.. Okay well Imma go wash my hair, bye dudes” And with a poof he disappeared. 

Red was confused, which made sense. This was a confusing situation. This little blue skeleton looked a whole awful lot like him and there was obviously some shit going down. Maybe this little shit knew something.

“HI! MY NAME IS SANS!”

The little shit didn’t know anything, did he?

Fuck. 

Well, time to get angry now.

“No, my name is Sans. Fuck off, you little…” This was his moment, he had to come up with the perfect insult, something to make the little shit cry his baby-blue eyes out, something to scar him for life, something that would get Red an entertaining reaction. “...blueberry!”

What?

“What?” Blueberry said, looking confused. Red agreed. 

“I don’t know, where am I?”

“You’re in underswap!”

“How did you know that?”

“Because the author didn’t want to bother writing us figuring out we’re alternates of each other. Did you know we’re alternates of each other?”

“Makes a lot of sense, after all I also enjoy dressing like a five year old in my free time.”

“Papy taught me never to judge, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that!”

Red groaned. Well that was enough social interaction for the day. He flopped down on the couch and decided to live here with them because obviously the alternates of his two least favorite people in the underground would be the best choices for roommates. It makes perfect sense what are you talking about.

“Is there any food here?”

“Apparently I only make tacos and I’m not even very good at it. You’d think someone with my determination and adorable face would have my shit together by now but apparently not”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to swear”

“The author made me rant”

“Fuck the author”

“Speaking of which, I’m also a 25 year old who doesn’t know what sex is, can you tell me?”

“No. Do you have any mustard?”

“...what?”

“I drink it directly from the bottle, go get me some”

Blue disappeared for a moment and returned with a bear. Red jumped in surprise, then realized it was just a bear-shaped container of honey. Thank goodness, that could have been bad. “This is all we have, since I only make tacos and my brother only drinks honey. We have very well rounded diets as you can see.”

“Hey, I have an idea.”

“Okay!”

“Fuck off”

Blue seemed to consider the idea, then he brightened, his eyelights shaping themselves into stars. “I have a better idea!”

Red doubted it. Fucking off had been a pretty stellar idea. “What?”

“Let’s fall in love instead!”

“Ugh, no. That's hard.”

“Pleeeeaaaaaase?” Blue was being very cute. I don’t know how, but he was, believe me. 

“Okay, fine. Boss is always telling me to go fuck myself I suppose I might as well do it”

“What does that mean?”

“Seriously, you said you were 25 and you don’t know this shit?”

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I have a lot of anger about Blue's characterization in certain other works. 
> 
> Would it be, like, really fuckin rude to link fics that "inspired" this work and it's just a bunch of shitty cherryberry and honeymustard cookie-cutter fics? PROBABLY A LITTLE LMAO


	87. The Fear of Falling Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: talk of self-harm and depression
> 
> I was listening to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXXQLa-5n5w) while I was writing but the message of the song has nothing to do with the message of the writing lol

Blue loved to cook. There was just something about the routine of it all that calmed him like nothing else. Contrary to popular belief, he made more than just tacos. Pretty much any and all Mexican food was on the menu, along with a wide variety of other dishes that he’d picked up over the years. 

It was nice. All you had to do was follow some directions, stick in a creative spin if you felt like taking a risk, and toss it together. Granted, it could be more complicated than that, but it all  _ boiled _ down to the same thing. 

He snorted inwardly at the mental pun, humming quietly as he put away the leftovers from his latest culinary masterpiece. Papy must be rubbing off on him. Or, y’know, any of the several pun-loving skeletons that frequented the house. 

He glanced over at the sink, frowning slightly as he considered the dishes piled up in the sink. He glanced to the doorway, then back to the sink, then back to the doorway. Red and Sans were here with Constantia, but they were all talking to Papy in the living room…

With a frustrated sigh, he pulled at the fingers of his gloves, carefully tugging them off and setting them aside. Without letting himself have so much as a glance as the newly exposed bone, he dove into the pile of dirty dishes, scrubbing quickly so that he would be able to join the others in the conversation. 

The silence in the kitchen was nearly oppressive, but Blue appreciated it. He was so loud all the time, and most of his closest friends were the same way, but sometimes it was nice to be able to just sit down and take a break from it all. He hummed silently, more imagining the tune than actually making one out loud as he blew air rhythmically from his nose. He could hear the low murmur of voices from the living room if he really concentrated, but he was occupied with the dishes, his attention on getting everything cleaned to his usual standard of perfection. 

“Hi, Uncle Blue!”

He jumped violently at the sudden greeting, not having heard Constantia come into the room. She was standing beside him, and he just stared at her in shock for a moment before giving a small smile. “Hi, Constantia! You scared me!” He shook the bubbles off his hands before facing her fully. “What are you doing in here?”

She just smiled at him, rocking back and forth on her little feet with her hands clasped behind her back. She’d turned six last month, and despite being Red and Sans’ kid, she was really a Papyrus at heart. “Can I help you with the dishes?” 

Blue smiled again, gesturing for her to grab a chair. “Sure thing! Do you want to dry while I wash?”

There was no answer, and his brow furrowed in confusion. She was staring at something just off to the side of him, seemingly unresponsive. He glanced over his shoulder, but there wasn’t anything there except a cabinet and a pile of bananas. Did she want…?

“What is that?”

He looked back at her, still confused. He dropped to one knee to be on her level and cocked his head to one side, hands lightly propped on his knee. “What is what?”

In answer, she reached out, taking hold of his arm with gentle fingers and flipping it over to expose the insides of his ulna and radius. She traced up the deep ridges in the bone, and he felt his face flush brightly. He resisted the urge to snatch his hand away, knowing it would probably hurt the child’s feelings. 

“Did you get in a fight, Uncle Blue?”

He shook his head softly, unable to find the words to answer her questions. He’d never let  _ anyone _ see this, not even Papy, and now she was touching it. She was staring down at his arm like it was the most interesting thing she’d ever seen, like the scars and the notches were a mystery she had to solve, and it was almost making him want to throw up.

She looked up, then, and saw the look on his face. She immediately stopped touching him, withdrawing her hands and looking kind of scared. “Does it hurt?”

He started to shake his head, but she was still talking, the speed picking up until her words were practically blending together. “Do you want one of my Elsa band-aids? They always make me feel better, and daddy has lots of scars from when he lived in his other house with Uncle Fell and he says that my Elsa band-aids make him feel happy too, but--”

Blue could feel a smile stretching across his face, Constantia’s honest concern soothing his soul like not much else could. He reached out, resting his hands on her shoulders to get her to concentrate. “It’s okay, Con. They don’t hurt. They’re from a long time ago.”

She was looking up at him, and she still looked confused, but something seemed to lance across her awareness as she thought. She let out a little gasp, and looked up at him as she asked, “Did you have to fight the human like my daddies?!”

It was clear, in that moment, that she thought of him as the superhero he’d always kind of wanted to be; almost as cool as her parents, fighting an evil human that made everyone’s lives hell. Even if she couldn’t quite understand the concepts, Sans and Red had never really been the type to try to sugar-coat their pasts. 

He shook his head, and she deflated a little, her confusion returning. “Then why do you have scratches?”

He just looked at her for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to explain this to her. “I was just...I got stuck, same as your daddies, but I couldn’t fight. I had to...Well, I had to let the human go, to be nice. It made me sad.” 

She seemed to consider his answer, intensely staring down at his arms in a way that made him want to put his gloves on and never take them back off. 

“So why do you have scratches?”

He took a deep breath, folding his arms against his chest. Her gaze shifted up to his face, and her own expression fell slightly. Before he could say anything, she shook her head, then ran out of the room. He was left alone and confused, but after a moment, he shrugged and stood. He immediately reached for his gloves, pulling them on and covering his scars before crossing the room and peeking after her. 

She was engaged deep in conversation with Sans, who looked like she’d completely lost him with her speedy talking, and Blue felt his flush deepen. He really hadn’t wanted anyone to know about this. If he’d thought it would be hard to explain to a kid, he couldn’t even begin to imagine the conversation with his brother that this would entail. 

Resigning himself to his fate, he leaned sideways in the doorway, watching her talk to Sans. After a moment, Sans glanced sideways at Red, who shrugged and reached into his pocket, passing something to his daughter. She squealed happily and spun around, beginning to run back into the kitchen and nearly crashing into Blue.

When she realized it was him, she held the item in her hands up to him. He reached out hesitantly, and she handed him the plastic package before beckoning him to come closer. He dropped down on one knee again, all too aware of the other adults in the room watching them curiously. 

“These make me very happy, Uncle Blue. Do you want some?” she asked in a whisper, and he smiled, feeling something burning behind his eyes as he glanced down at the fruit snacks. 

“I’d love some. Do you need help opening the pack?”

She nodded excitedly, eyelights forming stars, and he laughed as he ripped it open, the sound deep and loud, and the action loosening something in his chest that he hadn’t known was tight. As he popped a fruit snack into his own mouth, handing the rest of the package over to the child, he wasn’t aware of his brother’s eyelights brightening. Stretch traded shocked glances with Red and Sans, feeling tears gathering in his sockets. 

He hadn’t heard that sound in years.


	88. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving the fandom, goodbye forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> APRIL FOOLS ON THAT SUMMARY BROS (lol, me leave the fandom. That's a funny thought)
> 
> So I'm travelling for Spring Break and I haven't had the energy or the time to do any real writing, and I probably won't for the whole week. I apologize in advance for the lack of content! 
> 
> Since I haven't been able to write, I thought I would organize my COSOS document instead! So this isn't a real chapter, it's a bunch of ideas that I love and would love to write, but they've been sitting there for months and I just haven't worked up the motivation to work on them. So they are officially up for adoption! That isn't to say I won't do them sometime in the future, it's just saying that it's unlikely. But I would still love to see these worked out! So please, take these and make masterpieces with them! Even just little paragraph-long drabbles down in the comments! 
> 
> I can't wait to see what you guys do, and I apologize for the false update! See you guys (probably) on Monday!

**Inky**

_PJ reaction if Ink and Error got together and had a child._

 

**Swapfell and Fell Swap**

_Fell and Razz trade "pets"  (Red and Slim) for the day. Inspired by a comic on Tumblr._

 

**Abrasively Fluffy**

_Spicyhoney platonic fluff._

 

**If You Try to Kiss the Cook, He Will Probably Destroy You**

_Fell cannot cook. At all._

 

**School Pride**

_Red gets nominated for High School prom queen. Someone definitely stuffed the ballot box and they are somewhere in the crowd trying not to lose their shit._

 

**Tibia Honest**

_Blue and Papyrus secretly love puns. Someone walks in on them being dorky idiots._

 

**Take the rabbit around the mountain and down the hole**

_Nobody knows how to tie their shoes. Inspired by a comic on Tumblr._

 

**Picture Perfect**

_Blue and Papyrus insists on a “family” photo._

 

**Bad Brother**

_Just...fuck Bad Brother AU. Make everyone yell at that Sans sometime when you need to get some anger out._

 

**Level of Violence**

_Basically take the Fell bros from Power Hungry Assholes and make them kill people mercilessly. I fucking love them._

 

**Spooky Scary Skeletons**

_San’s decorates Red’s bedroom for Halloween. It’s exclusively naked skeletons, with a bunch of super glittery ones that shed sparkles everywhere._

 

**StonerNos**

_The difference between Sans and Stretch is the difference between apathy and bitterness? Basically, why my headcanons keep me from liking Stretch as much as Sans_

 

**Demanding Respect**

_Don’t call me Boss, asshole_

_Well then Don’t call me an asshole, ‘Boss’_

 

**Parkour**

_Sans and Stretch super into Parkour. They ask Red if he is too and he says kinda but then is a total fail. Inspired by a vine I saw on Instagram. (https://www.instagram.com/p/BNDtydrFik5/)_

 

**Stupid Shippers**

_What if ships were AUs? In which I only explore some main classic sans ships and how they compare (at least for now) Sansby, Soriel, Frans, Fontcest, and Sanscest_ _  
_ _  
_ _Maybe something about a birthday party or something like that? I want them to arrive in the order listed above because sansby is pretty normal, then there's shock and awe that Sans married the queen, then there's confusion because this frisk is 24 but Soriel kid is like 10, then there's judgement to the extreme because sans married his brother, and maybe the Sanses all go to have a talk outside and everyone's kinda attacking Fontcest sans and then red and sans get there with constantia and are like hey break it up and then confusion reigns because what the fuck, did this sans marry himself? The answer is yes, and neither of them are in any way ashamed so suck it._ __  
  
More fun idea might be that it's constantia birthday party but red just hasn't gotten home yet but then he gets home during the big argument and is like "shut the fuck up and go back inside"

 

**The True Dance**

_Dance Sans used to do ballet until Gaster died, then switched to breakdancing. Frisk came and made him love ballet again._

_(https://www.instagram.com/p/BNH2-pZFSn_/)_

 

**Cool Dudes**

_Just PapayaBerry brotp fluff_

 

**Cat in a Tree**

_Blue very much enjoys jumping out on trees onto people. The only question is if i should have him jump on red or fell_

 

**Disbelief**

_Idea from Floracat33_

_Disbelief!Paps meets Geno_

 

**Dirty Fucking Thief**

_Red finds out who has been stealing his shit (spoiler alert, it’s Error)_

 

**Parasite**

_Explore the thoughts going on in Sans’s head when he is possessed by Fresh_

 

**Shortcut**

_Blue and Razz can’t take shortcuts but the others wouldn’t know that upon first meeting them, it might cause problems if there was an emergency._

 

**Biggest Fears 3-6**

_Fell-Storms-Paps POV_

_Sans-The Dark-Stretch POV_

_Stretch-Knives-Fell POV_

_Blue-The Paranormal-Red POV_

 

**Red Before Blue**

_Me before you but CherryBerry_

 

**((These are also up for adoption)) COSOS Chapters I Need to Make a Part 2 For:**

-Red and Blue are Colors of the Rainbow

-Drink for Drink

-Go Screw Yourself

-Rad to the Bone

-Prank War

-React

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is taken word for word from my OSC doc lol
> 
> Have fun with these, I'll post them on Tumblr, too!


	89. All The Pairings 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I mean, I never said I wasn't going to post over Spring Break. I just said I wouldn't post as often, right?)
> 
> More of this. More stealing prompts from Tumblr, too! Yay!

**ClassicBerry**

“Hey, Sans?”

Sans looked up from the computer, smiling when he saw Blue standing in front of him. He moved his laptop off to the side and held out his arms, grinning. Blue heaved a false long-suffering sigh and stepped forward, climbing into the other’s lap and resting the side of his head against his clavicle. 

“I have a question.”

Sans looked down at him questioningly, and Blue made a face. “You know how some couple have a...like…’their’ song?”

Nodding, Sans focused down on him, trying to figure out where he was going with this. 

Blue took a deep breath, relaxing into Sans’ hold and letting his eyes fall shut. “Why don’t we have one?”

Sans stifled a snicker, then schooled his expression into something serious. “Babe! Of course we have a song!” 

Blue cracked one eye open, looking up at him suspiciously. “We do?”

“Of course! Hang on, I’ll even play it for you!” 

Sans freed one arm, reaching over to his laptop and hitting a few keys before a  [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) started playing.

There was a short pause, then Blue reached over and smacked Sans on the arm, trying to hide his laughter as he attempted to escape his hold. “You are such a--”

Sans held onto him tightly, laughing as he turned the volume up. “C’mon, Blue, this is a great song! Watch a little more of it!”

“Oh, my God, Sans!”

 

**RottenBerry**

Stretch hummed to himself, focused down on his phone as he rounded the corner into the living room. As he came in, there was the sound of laughter from the direction of the couch, and he glanced up in reaction to the noise. 

Blue and Razz were sitting on the couch, the TV on in the background but muted as they were caught up in conversation with each other. Blue’s armor was arranged neatly on the ground by the couch, probably removed as soon as he got home, and he had his legs tucked up to his chest, socked feet buried somewhere in the cushions. Razz still had his armor and boots on, but he wasn’t sitting as stiffly on the edge of the couch as he usually did, reaching over Blue’s head to brush some sort of collected lint from the top of his skull. There were smiles on both of their faces, Blue laughing as he attempted to dodge the other’s swipes. 

Stretch’s eyes widened, and he leaned backwards, looking back into the kitchen at Slim. The shorter skeleton was reclined in one of the dining room chairs, smoking casually and browsing on his own phone. 

“Dude, your brother is  _ smiling!” _

Slim looked up after a moment, looking confused. “What, Razz?”

“Yeah!”

Slim immediately jumped up and crossed the room, peeking into the living room to see for himself. “Whoa…”

The other two seemed to notice their audience, and Razz’s eyes immediately sharpened, the smile falling into it’s usual self-righteous grimace. “What the fuck do you two want?”

Blue started to reprimand him for his language, but Stretch talked over the top of him, sticking his phone in his back pocket and leaning sideways against the doorway. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile before, Razzy.”

Razz scowled, opening his mouth to protest the ridiculous nickname before Blue spoke.

“What are you talking about? Razz smiles all the time!”

 

**BlackCherry**

Red had a terrible feeling that Razz  _ knew _ .

The whole drive to the restaurant, he’d had this self-satisfied look on his face like he knew something Red didn’t, and even when Red had first suggested going to dinner at the nicest Mexican restaurant in town, Razz’s surprise at the suggestion had been entirely too over-exaggerated. They’d walked into the restaurant, and Razz was smiling at all the waiters like they were his partners in crime, and Red was left confused because they were  _ his _ partners in crime and wouldn’t they have said something if Razzwasalsogoingto--

Okay, man. Deep breaths. It’s fine.

They sat at the table, and it wasn’t long before a waiter arrived with champange. Red spared them a nervous smile as he set the glasses down, and Razz picked his up, loudly proclaiming, “WOW LOOK AT THIS, CHAMPANGE, WOW, THIS MUST BE A SPECIAL EVENING, AM I RIGHT?” before tipping the glass back and taking an innocent sip. 

Red narrowed his eyes, but looked up at the waiter again, who was hiding a grin. They made eye contact, and the waiter snorted slighly before inclining his head towards Razz. “You look very nice tonight, sir. The both of you--”

“I SURE DO, DON’T I? YOU BETTER SNATCH ME UP, I’M DAMN FINE!”

Red rolled his eyes, grinning, and Razz cleared his throat, lowering his volume. “I mean, thank you.”

The rest of the night carried on pretty much in the same vein. It was an amazing dinner, the waiters always arriving in the perfect moment and the food being as delicious as the price might suggest. The conversation was perfect, with a few loud and strange exclamations from Razz.

Finally, it was time for dessert. Red could feel his face heating as he saw the waiter approaching with the chocolate-raspberry lava cake, something glittering on the top. The plate was set in front of Razz, and Red prepared himself to stand.

Right up until Razz reached out, plucked the ring out of the frosting, and popped it directly into his mouth, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Red snorted, relaxing back into his chair and propping his chin in his hands as the waiter walked away quickly, probably to laugh about this to their coworkers. 

“If you swallow that ring, I’m not taking you to the hospital,” Red said, smiling widely as he watched Razz pretend to dig into the cake. The other’s eyes widened in fake surprise, and he stuck his tongue out, going cross-eyed to look down at the ring. He picked up a napkin and spit the ring into it before holding it up. 

“What, this ring? Are you proposing? I had no idea! Why would I ever marry you?” he said as he slipped the ring onto his finger, admiring the sparkle. Red just grinned at him, his eyelights morphing into hearts for a moment before he turned his attention to his dessert. 

Razz smiled softly at him for a moment before he rolled his eyes. He took a bite of his cake, then said casually, “You know now that the dresser we share is probably not the best place to hide things, right?”

“Eat your dessert, asshole. I fucking love you or whatever.”

“I’m touched, truly.”

“Next time maybe you can hear the whole speech.”

“...Next time?!”

 

**InkBerry & Errotic**

(Prompt is that soulmate thing where whatever you write on yourself also appears on your soulmate’s skin)

Ink admired the ink beginning to bloom across the inside of his ulna, a little note that read “Bridge Puzzle--third screw missing”. His soulmate did these things a lot, short notes to himself as though he was afraid he wouldn’t remember long enough to make it home. Ink liked to think the other was distracted by the wonders of whatever world he was hiding in; any place wonderful enough to house the person he had grown to imagine had to have some truly beautiful things to get distracted by. He reached for one of his colored pencils, starting to trace the letters with other colors. The other’s writing paused for a moment, as though they were admiring the change, then they quickly finished writing before adding a small heart at the end. 

Ink smiled at the gesture, only to be cut off by an exclamation of disgust from the skeleton he had forgotten was sitting next to him. Ink looked, cocking a brow. “What, you never write for yours?”

Error rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to.”

Ink frowned at him, opening his mouth to protest before Error huffed and tugged off his sleeve to show off the plethora of dicks lining his ulna, radius, and what little of his humerus Ink could see. 

“You don’t even  _ want  _ to see my pelvis on a daily basis.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't click on that song for the classicberry one, you really, really, really, REALLY need to go back and do it.


	90. Breaking Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from break! Yay! 
> 
> So I was in the mood for something fluffy, and I've been craving Rottenberry all day, so...  
> I had a lot of fun with this...
> 
> [Here's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsanLS4pUkQ) the song they're singing lol. Yeah, I know. I told you I had fun!

Razz resisted the urge to crack a smile, a nearly impossible feat with Blue dancing like he’d never heard of the concept right in front of him. Everyone had gone out for drinks, and a few of them had had a few too many. Sans was passed out, his head on his brother’s shoulder, and Fell was laughing loudly at every single thing Stretch said. 

Drinking had always loosened Blue up to a degree no one had even really thought possible, with how open he already was. But here he was, dancing completely off-beat but extremely enthusiastically to a song that really wasn’t meant to be danced to. He attempted to body roll, and Razz couldn’t keep in his snort of laughter. Blue turned his mega-watt grin on him, repeating the motion again before attempting to...well, Razz wasn’t really sure what the hell he was trying to do, but it just about made him laugh again. 

“Damn, Razz, I didn’t think you  _ could _ laugh,” Stretch said, prompting a loud and out-of-place laugh from Fell. Everyone paused to stare at him, Red’s expression bordering on humiliation. Razz held in another laugh, then rolled his eyes at the others. 

“Of course I laugh. Have you  _ seen _ this bullshit?”

Blue crinkled his brow, mock-insulted, and said, “Hey, now, you don’t have to be rude! I’m a magnificent dancer!” 

Razz snorted, and Stretch smacked him on the arm to keep him from saying anything insulting. “Come on, Razz. You couldn’t do much better at anything than Blue. He’s the best at it all.”

“OH YEAH?!”

Slim cringed when he heard the challenge in Razz’s voice, reaching out to grab him by the shoulder and prevent him from shooting to his feet and making a fool out of himself. Blue was watching the display with interest, holding in a smirk as he considered a truly amazing idea. 

“I’ll tell you what I’m the best at!” he said, his eyes wide and innocent. 

Razz regarded him icily. He was well aware that this was Blue’s false innocent look, and he had long since learned to be wary of it. No matter how much he loved the little shit, he was still  _ a little  _ **_shit_ ** .

After an extended moment of silence, Stretch sighed and asked, “What are you the best at, bro?”

“Karaoke!”

Razz threw his hands in the air palms-out, shaking his head rapidly. He knew exactly where this was going, and he wasn’t about to--

Blue grabbed his hands, practically bouncing with excitement as his false expression shifted into something more real, excited and happy in a way that never failed to make Razz’s soul beat harder. “Please? Come sing with me, it’ll be fun!”

“Yeah, Razz, go sing with him, it’ll be fun.”

Razz turned to see that it was Red who had spoken, but all of them were wearing matching smug expressions, already sure of his negative answer and ready to give him grief about it. Well, fuck them. 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go. I’ll show you how it’s done, Berry,” he said determinedly, pushing himself up to stand and keeping hold of Blue’s hand as he started to walk to the stage. Blue’s expression morphed into one of surprise, glancing over his shoulder at the others. They were all watching them with mixed expressions of amusement and confusion, so he just shrugged and went along with it. Who knows, it could be fun.

Wait.

“Did you just call me ‘Berry’?”

They arrived at the stage, and Razz gestured for Blue to pick a song. Blue raised a brow, glaring at his boyfriend. He knew he hated that nickname. Huffily, he turned to the list, reading it over for something good. His eyes passed over something he vaguely recognized, then snapped back up to it. 

He smirked.

“That one, please!”

Razz glanced nervously at their little group as someone handed him a microphone. They were all watching them with amusement, both Stretch and Slim holding up their phones and obviously recording them. Red was snickering behind his hand, and Papyrus was gently waking up Sans so that he wouldn’t miss it. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea.

The music started, a slower piano that Razz recognized much more quickly than he would have if he hadn’t gotten  _ really _ bored on Netflix a few weeks ago. He shot a glare over at Blue, who winked happily, gesturing for him to start. 

Razz coughed, turning his attention to the screen and nearly missing his cue before quietly singing, “We’re soarin’, flyin’...” His gaze flicked over to Blue, who was trying to hide a smile, and he gathered himself quickly, his voice growing louder. “There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach…”

He could see the others’ amusement at the song choice, but he did his best to ignore it, instead choosing to focus on the screen in front of him. The color of the text changed, and Blue came in, singing enthusiastically and just enough out of tune to make Razz crack a smile. He knew the other could sing perfectly well; he was doing this on purpose. 

“If we’re tryin’, so we’re breaking free…”

Blue grinned at him again, and Razz shot him a wink, his voice growing in volume if not skill. “You know the world can see us, in a way that’s different than who we are!” 

“Creating space between us,” Blue sang loudly, stretching out one arm towrds Razz in a dramatic rendition of performance. “‘Til we’re separate hearts.”

Razz took a deep breath as they came in together, very pointedly ignoring the sarcastic thumbs-ups they were recieving from their table. “But your faith, it gives me strength…” Blue looked up at him again, and Razz shot him a wink. Blue’s face flushed lightly, and he grinned, his voice faltering in surprise. “Strength to believe…”

Razz took a deep breath, then threw one arm out, bending forward slightly and squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to deliver as much power as he could to the next line. “WE’RE BREAKING FREE!!”

Instead of Blue’s actual part, there was just a lot of surprised laughter, but Razz didn’t let it deter him, swaying back and forth and singing, “FLYYYIINNNN’!”

Blue managed to come back in, still laughing, and they sang together, “There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach!”

“IF WE’RE TRYIN’!”

Razz could hear more laughter coming from the table, but he decided to revel in it, opening his eyes and flipping off the cameras of their brothers as they continued to sing. Blue was still laughing almost too hard to join him, especially when Razz attempted to spin Blue around and just got them both tangled in the microphone cords. 

As the song ended, Razz planted a quick kiss on the side of Blue’s head, grinning at the continued laughter as he untangled them and handed the microphones back to the manager, who was smiling widely. He grabbed Blue by the hand and lead him back to the table, sitting down quickly and crossing his legs before picking up his drink and taking a sip. 

He was perfectly aware of everyone staring at him, but he just patted the place beside him and waited for Blue to sit before wrapping an arm around his shoulders and looking around as though nothing had happened at all. 

“M’lord?”

Razz rolled his eyes at the empty title, but directed his attention to his brother anyway. “What?”

“How the fuck did you know the words with your eyes closed?”


	91. EchoFlowey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! This is a sort of... "what if", alternate timeline sort of thing for String Theory!
> 
> Spoilers for String Theory in this, like to the max. If you haven't read it yet, go read it before you read this!!!!  
> This is an idea of what might have happened if both Fell and Stretch were to die. IT WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME.  
> It was copy/pasted from an email I got, (posted with permission), and written by [EchoFlowey](http://archiveofourown.org/users/echoflowey/pseuds/echoflowey) here on Ao3! (Also, check out their [Tumblr](http://echoflowey.tumblr.com/)!)
> 
> The idea was from [This](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/102451056) and they wanted me to take partial credit for the idea, but dude...this is amazing. You did a really good job on this, seriously, and you deserve all the praise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY ALSO POSTED IT [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10610712) WITH SOME EDITS AND CHANGES SO GO SHOW THEM SOME LOVE BROS

Red supressed a tired sigh, finishing on reading the adoption papers. He really thought it wouldn't have been as complicated. 

The months following his brother's death were rough, he got little to no rest, and the pain in his soul would not fade, but he thought it fair, after all, his baby brother was everything he had, for as long as he could remember. Their codependent relationship wasn't as deep as of many other AU's brothers they got to meet in their occasional timeline travels, but it was still there. He scoffed at himself for the ridiculous notion. 'in the hellhole we used to live? it was pretty obvious that I would rely on someone as much as I did'. And it wouldn't sound as ridiculous if it wasn't for his brother relishing on acting as a guarded asshole. Unlike his counterpart from the Undertale universe, who was always appeasing, trying to please people as much as he was capable, and seeming to draw strength to move forward, be the simple notion of having popularity, his brother wanted to keep people away, simply enjoyed being alone, and kept an never ending annoyed charade. Red corrected himself on his line of thought: "MY codependency on my brother wasn't as deep as it could've been". He mentally patted his own back for something completely unimportant.

As much as he was grieving, and at the same time, glad he wasn't dusting alongside his brother, he had important matters at hand, and he seemed to have finally reached a compromise with Blue. They had decided on split custody on kinship adoption, both being brothers of the parents. 

Blue had kept an facade for as long as people cared enough to notice him almost falling down himself. He had been holding on to the hope that his brother could survive, but no such luck, after all, a broken soul bound was almost impossible to get through, and with Stretch HP at a measly 16, the unlikeliness had been set as a simple, heartbreaking impossibility, and that was that.

Blue had found himself awestruck when Red had shown up, determination on his eyelights, and a promise that he would do his absolute best to try and care for his nephew. He honestly had the urge to let out an startled laugh at the time, incredulous that the laidback, edgy, and seemingly forever irritated Red would want to care for a child. He had refused, saying with as much (undue)respect he could manage, that he simply did not find Red fit for the job, and that he was already taking care of the papers himself. Red seemed offended if not a bit sad that Blue would think so lowly of him. After confirming that he had always wanted a child, but the idea had always felt impossible for him, and with the agony of losing his sibling, he would do anything to insure that the newborn would be more than well taken care of, Blue finally began loosening up. It had taken some more prodding in Red's part, but they had agreed on a mutually beneficial compromise. It almost felt like Red and Blue were a divorced couple fighting for their child, and honestly, it worked pretty much that way: they would take turns on taking care of the babybones and if Red's excited behaviour about taking care of his nephew was but a stroke, Blue would simply take full custody and Razz would enjoy kicking Red's tailbone if needed be.

Red put aside the papers, leaving his room and descending the stairs, finding Sans reading some of the copies on the livingroom.

"I think it won't be much longer." He said, walking in front of his lover.

Their relationship was going strong, now more than ever with Sans always there for him, and with his agreement on helping Red take care of the child, it had only strengthened.

Sans turned to look at him with a hum of aknowledgement. "That's good. You got it all set with Blue?" he asked, and having finished the papers himself, put them aside.

"Yeah, we're going to the court this monday, I talked to him on the phone a few minutes ago." Red answered, making his way to the kitchen.

Sans followed him, going to check the oven. The both of them were taking on some cooking classes and were trying not to be the usual disaster on "cuisine", they should be able to cook something without burning the house down, after all, a kiddo was coming, and they had to be ready. Blue should give them a golden star for the commitment in the very least.

Sans took out the quiche, a little burned on the sides, but overall looking edible.

"Eh, I knew I wasn't that bad." He commented walking to the kitchen table, taking off his mittens and sitting down.

"Heh, it looks great, babe." Red said and sat alongside him, both not caring the quiche was fresh out of the oven and cutting a piece, almost immediately taking a bite, and instantly regretting it.

"Damnit, I really didn't think that one through." Sans chuckled exasperated. "It tastes good though, I'm gonna be a great dad." 

Red shot him a smirk "You got some big dreams if you think you're going to be the dad." He said chuckling. "I ain't wasting the chance of calling you a mommy."

Sans groaned and Red just smiled wider. It didn't exactly reach his eyes though. Sans, noticing it, took Red's hands on his own.

"It's gonna be okay." He said smiling softly, if not as sadly as Red was feeling himself.

"I know. I'm sure you're gonna be great. I can't really confirm anything about myself, though." Red really wanted this, he really thought he would be able to care for his nephew and make his brother proud, if he had still been here. But the uncertainty was always there, reminding him that he hasn't been enough in a lot of things in his life. He wouldn't give up though. He refused.

"Honey, you're gonna be a really fucking great dad, if you're sure about me, I'm just as sure about you." Sans would always try his best to reassure and support him, no matter what. Red was forever grateful.

He had a slightly less forced smile on his face as he thanked Sans, and reassured him that even if he didn't manage to be the greatest of dads, he would try his best, and not give up. They were doing this together after all, and were not about to quit on the small, fragile babybones that had raptured their souls with the simple, quick gaze of their little, unfocused, caramel eyelights and the small quirk of their teeth.

Poor kid, would be spoiled rotten.


	92. RANDOM AF XD *Rawr* ^^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the title. I wrote the first part and I couldn't resist.
> 
> Anyway, this really is a super random one, literally. I used a method of randomizing to come up with all the pairs I did, then used a [Random Prompt Generator](http://imagineyourotp.com/) to come up with prompts for the pairings without looking or anything, so it's just very...random! Yay!
> 
> They're fairly short for the most part (some are literally like three lines of dialogue, I'm not sorry) but I had fun doing it and that's what matters, right?   
> At the end it definitely just devolves into me being like "lol this is the funny idea I had, I don't feel like actually writing it or anything though" and then I sorta gave up but I left the rest of them listed with the prompts because they sounded funny. *shrugs*. Feel free to adopt if you feel so inclined.  
> (Wow, I am just...so professional. Fuck.)
> 
> I was listening to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aefuWGmKTY) btw (why do you assume you're the smartest in the room, da da d a dada da I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH GUYS)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, apparently I misunderstood the "undercover as gay" trope to mean "is suddenly/not so suddenly very gay" so let's just roll with it, yeah? I'm tired... :D
> 
> (I honestly did a shit job at following the prompts. Fuck it)

**Rust**

AU:Trapped in an Airport

Trope:Undercover as Gay

"So..."

Red looked up, giving the stranger sitting next to him a confused look.

He was looking back with something in his eyes that was honestly kind of weirding him out. He didn't know this person. What were they doing? He didn't want to talk to someone he didn't know, that was the  _ least _ entertaining thing to do when your flight was delayed and he was stuck in an airport for god knows how long--

"The name's Lust. What's yours, babe?"

Red's mouth opened, then closed, nothing managing to come out.  _ Babe? What in the actual fuck? _

Lust leaned back in his seat, folding his hands behind his head and smirking. "Lost for words? I have that effect on people."

Finally finding his words, Red choked out, "What the fu--"

"Ah-ha! He speaks!" Lust exclaimed, winking. "So...the flight's delayed..."

Red just stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"I don't suppose you'd like to find something to occupy ourselves?"

Now he was comprehending.

"Are you fucking coming on to me?! I don't even know you!"

Lust winked again, his grin turning positively sinful. "I'd be perfectly happy to drop the 'to' in that first sentence, babe."

It took Red a moment to figure out what he was saying, and he snorted before very carefully picking up his water bottle, uncapping it slowly. 

Lust watched him, still smiling widely. "Hey, if you're thirsty, I have a--"

Even with the contents of Red's water bottle dumped on his head and the other stomping away to sit on the other side of the gate's group of chairs, Lust would say it was worth it just to watch him walk away.

**TripleBerryParfait**

AU:Vigilante

Trope:A dates C to make B jealous

 

Razz and Red’s magic collided in midair, Razz’s snarl of rage not at all helped by the smirk on Red’s face. “What,” he started as Razz pulled back, spinning into another easily-dodged strike. “Are you jealous?”

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up!” Razz screeched, swinging his bone club over his head and bringing it down in the spot Red had been occupying just moments earlier. 

He turned on the spot, searching for the asshole-turned-vigilante until he saw him perched up on a nearby ledge, still smirking. Instead of immediately attacking again, Razz paused, looking up at the other thoughtfully.

“What would your little  _ officer _ do if he knew you were the one goin’ around, doing his job for him because you think he’s too cute and sweet to handle it?”

Red snorted, but his expression was suddenly a little less open and amused. “Yeah, because he’d be so much more pleased that  _ you’re _ the one causing half the trouble.”

Suddenly, Razz noticed red and blue lights reflecting off of a nearby window, the shine of them shining right into Red’s eyes for a split second. 

Well.

Instead of taking advantage of the temporary weakness, Razz let his bone club dissolve, reaching up to straighten his armor before taking a few steps backwards, towards the edge of the balcony he was standing on. 

Red’s eyes cleared, and he saw where Razz was headed just a split second too late.

“I’ll be seeing you later, then, Scarlett O’hara.”

And with that, he walked backwards off of the roof, catching himself at the last second and swinging himself through the window of the next floor down, snickering to himself at the other’s strangled curse of surprise. 

 

**Spicay/Roommate Bros**

AU:Romeo and Juliet

Trope:First Time

 

“Do you bite your tongue at me, sir?”

There were a few seconds of silence, during which Fell paused and looked up, brow furrowed. “It’s thumb.”

Lust looked down at him, confused, and Fell huffed. “They weren’t biting their tongues. It was their thumbs.”

A brow raised and suppressing his ever-growing amusement, Lust removed his arms from around the other’s neck so that he could properly snicker at him.

“How the fuck do you know that?

**BlackCherry**

AU:Matchmaker

Trope:Revenge/Vendetta

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??”

Red looked over his shoulder, confused, but his face cleared when he saw that it was just Razz and he turned back to what he was doing. “Last time I checked?”

“NO. You know what--” Razz rounded the little table Red was standing at, glaring at him and leaning forward to rest his hands on the surface, every movement screaming how pissed he was. “--I don’t give a shit about the snarky fucking comment you’re about to make, how about you explain this bullshit?!”

With that, he tossed a piece of paper down on the table, glaring at Red with something close to a wildfire in his eyes. Glancing up, Red was surprised to see that he looked near tears. He frowned, then reached out, picking up the paper and lifting it up to his face to read it. His brows raised and his mouth opened slightly. “Razz--”

“This is too fucking far!” he practically screamed, not really wanting to hear anything Red had to say. The larger paused, watching him silently and lowering the paper to the table. “I know it’s ‘your turn’ or whatever in the goddamn one-sided prank war all of you assholes are playing on me, and you know, I would rather you all fucking told me why you hate me so goddamn much instead of just making my life hell!” Razz took a deep breath, blinking back tears that were only half-angry before barrelling on, unaware of the softness in Red’s eyes. “If this is because of the whole ‘trying to destroy your universes’ thing, I’ve apologized! I thought we were fucking over that!”

“Razz, I didn’t prank you with that.”

Coming to an abrupt stop, Razz gave him a critical look. “You didn’t write it?”

Red snorted. “Of course I wrote it. Do you see this shitty-ass handwriting? Not even Sans sucks this much.”

There was a moment of silence, Razz processing what he had just said as Red finished gathering the dishes and moved to the kitchen, dropping them in the sink (gently) before returning, half-grinning at the shell-shocked look on Razz’s face.

“But...this says that you--”

“Love you?” Red asked, still grinning. “Yep.”

Razz narrowed his eyes, watching him as he casually washed the table. “No you don’t.”

“I do too.” Red glanced up, for the first time looking a bit nervous until he saw the confused expression on Razz’s face. He smirked, then, turning his attention back to the table as he said, “The matchmaker internet quiz I took last night at like midnight said so.”

Razz finally seemed to loosen up, snorting slightly and picking the letter back up, considering for a moment before he tucked it into his breastplate. “Fuck off.”

“Nah.”

There were another few moments of silence, where Razz seemed to be searching for something to say, then Red spoke up again, more quietly this time and keeping his attention focused down on the table. 

“You can think about it, if you need to. There’s no pressure to--”

Razz went around the table, crossing to Red’s side in four steps and reaching out, cupping his cheeks and drawing him into a deep kiss, eyes closed and still almost in denial that the other was serious. 

But hey, this was worth the risk.

 

**ClassicBerry**

AU:Fight Club

Trope:Enemies to Lovers

“THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS THAT--”

“We’re not supposed to fuck on the tables?”

“...SANS, SHUT UP.”

**KetchupEnchiladas**

AU:Star Trek

Trope:In Disguise 

 

Razz glanced around the party, his peripheral vision slightly obscured by the mask over his face. Sans had refused to tell him what he was coming as, and with so many alternates present, it was nearly impossible to tell who was who. He wouldn’t be surprised if more than one mistake would be made with Blue’s all-too-famous surprise kisses. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone in a costume from some sort of nerdy show he knew a few of the Sanses liked, and he narrowed his eyes at them. It was some sort of alien, a...Klingon, maybe? He couldn’t remember, he’d been a little occupied the one time Sans had attempted to show him. 

The disguised monster began crossing the room, coming closer and closer until they stood right next to him, and Razz looked up at them, a warning in his eyes. “Blue, if that’s you, I’m not--”

“Beam me into your bedroom, Scotty,” came a voice from behind the mask, and Razz snorted, reaching out to smack him on the arm. 

“Fuck off, Sans. You know I don’t get the joke.”

**Kustard**

AU:Hospital/Asylum

Trope:Bromance

 

Red leaned back, resting his head against the soft walls in this room. He hated this room, he absolutely fucking  _ hated _ it.

Except…

“You okay in there?”

He smiled, looking up in reaction to the voice. Sans sat across from him, blue jacket slightly rumpled and looking as though he’d just woken up from an hour-long nap.

Red smiled upon seeing him, though he immediately repressed it. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be fine?”

Sans snorted, tilting his head to the side. “Dude, you’re in a padded cell, and you’re talking to yourself. You don’t seem very fine.”

Red laughed openly at the joke. Those never got old, and it was rare to let himself laugh at something that was really funny. He never had to hide himself with Sans, though.

After a moment, though, he sobered, just watching the other as he let his eyes hood shut, as though he was going to go right back to sleep. 

“Hey Sans?”

“Yeah?”

His voice sounded perfectly alert, and Red smiled again at the sound of it. It was like the better version of his own, no rasp from smoking and no bitter undertones from the shitty life he’d been forced into. 

“Do you ever...see things?”

There was a pause, then Sans opened his eyes fully, leaning forward as though he was really  _ looking _ at Red. “Bro…”

“...what?”

“I see the love in your eyes, bro.”

“Oh my god, Sans, I was trying to have a serious moment here!” Red said, throwing his hands in the air and trying to hold in his laughter.

“Brooooo…”

~~

In the guard room, two monsters watched a screen, one open-mouthed and one with barely repressed amusement as he watched his coworker. “What, have you never seen this before? You’re not  _ that _ new, and this little shit is in isolation at least twice a week.”

The newer guard gave the other an annoyed look, relaxing back into his chair before saying, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone talk to themselves quite that animatedly.”

The other guard snorted, picking up his coffee. “He does it more often than some of the others. Really seems convinced there’s someone in there with him, no matter what we say.”

There was a moment of silence as they both watched Red suddenly try to stand up, his face bright and open as he laughed at something they couldn’t have heard even if the sound wasn’t muted. 

The newer guard spoke up after a few moments, idly adjusting his tie. “It’s so fucking weird.”

 

**ClassicLust**

AU:Exotic Dancer

Trope:Bodyguard

Lust was stretching again. 

He insisted that it was necessary before a show or a practice, but Sans was just as much a skeleton as Lust was and he was all too aware of the fact that they didn’t even have muscles that needed stretching. The taller still took entirely too much joy in bending himself over backwards, stretching out his legs in ways that just about exposed what little bone his clothes did cover, and asking Sans to help “wring him out”. 

He still wasn’t sure what “wring him out” meant, but he was pretty sure it had nothing to do with stretching. 

He always refused, anyway, preferring instead to sit in the corner and watch over the room, like he was paid to do. It wasn’t uncommon for him to have to prevent some of the shadier customers from sneaking backstage, especially when Lust had just finished his show. He was beginning to think the other was doing it on purpose just to keep him busy.

As if he didn’t notice him taking pictures on his phone while he was doing it. The fuckin…

He sighed, watching out of the corner of his eye as Lust raised his arms above his head, mostly just showing off his body instead of doing anything that would even stretch the muscles of someone who  _ had _ them.

Why had he thought this job would be a good idea?

In answer, Lust called back to him as he finished up, straightening out his little outfit and winking. “What’s for dinner tonight, love?”

Sans snorted, sinking down further in his chair. “I am fully aware that you bought something with cream in it yesterday, and I am not walking into that joke.”

Lust snorted, and in that moment, his music started up, his cue to get out onstage. He walked to the curtain, then turned back one more time, grinning. 

“That’s actually for dessert. Dinner’s gonna be too  _ hard  _ to make, so I thought we could probably just  _ eat out _ . Love you!”

And with that, he was gone, leaving Sans to hold in his laughter as another dancer across the room snickered at them.

Fuck, he loved his job.

 

**Bledgeup**

AU:Sugar Daddy/Momma

Trope:Revealing Your Lover

“...You what?”

Red glanced over his shoulder, mouth full of something he’d just grabbed out of the fridge. Giving his brother a glare, he carefully swallowed, still managing to choke and having to take a minute before stepping away from the fridge and letting it swing closed.

“I invited Sans over for dinner?”

Fell glared at him for a moment, mind racing as he tried to figure out how on Earth Red  _ knew _ . “Why?”

Red looked slightly guilty, rubbing his arm before looking back up. “Because he’s my...well…” he paused, glancing down at the floor for a second. “Look, Boss, I know you’ve had your eye on him for a while but…”

“But  _ what? _ ”

“You’re never gonna be a sugar daddy, Boss.”

“...Excuse me?”

 

**CherryBerry**

AU:Trapped in an Airport

Trope:Pranks

 

“Red, why are there tacks on every single seat on this side of the airport?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about but that man’s a genius.”

 

**Kedgeup**

AU:Roommates/Housemates

Trope:Suddenly Parents

 

This is too much angst/storylining for my blood. For some reason I’m picturing an AU where everything is fucked up from actual fanon and Fell’s at college or something and housemates with Sans then his dad dies and he ends up having to take in his, like...five year old? brother Red lmao. 

 

**SpicyHoney**

AU:Exotic Dancer

Trope:Suddenly Disabled

 

“Oh, no, will you look at that, I suddenly can’t walk, let me just...fall on your lap, sir...face-first.”

(“Stretch, we’ve been married for five years, stop calling me sir and pretending to pole-dance in the middle of the kitchen while you’re drunk.”)

 

**WitheredLove**

AU:Soldiers/Military

Trope:Geek/Jock

 

Jock is Razz, Geek is Lust, Razz very slowly becomes enamored with the overconfident, nerdy idiot who is in the tent across from him. 

 

**PassionFruit**

AU:Movie Night

Trope:Unexpected Pregnancy

 

I don't think they were paying very much attention to the movie lmao

 

**Swapcest**

AU:College

Trope:Gender Confusion

**Fellcest**

AU:Romeo and Juliet

Trope:Love Potion

**Errotic**

AU:Pornstar

Trope:Suddenly Parents

**Swellcest**

AU:Fairytale

Trope:Secret Identity

 

**RottenBerry**

AU:Hostage/Rescue

Trope:Bromance

**BlueberryJam**

AU:Speed-Dating

Trope:Bodyguard

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know which ones of these were your favorites, there are a few I'd like to expand and I want to see if our interests coincide lol


	93. Virginity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was doing some world-building for String Theory and this happened...
> 
> The actual conversation isn't canon (I definitely forgot to make Stretch pregnant and Sans and Red are already together here but eh) but the stories are. More explanations to come as the series continues, lmaoooo

Head down on the table, Red took a deep breath, trying to get his spinning head to clear. “Ugghhhh…”

Beside him, Sans snickered, letting his hand drop onto his spine and softly stroke up and down. “Do you already have a hangover? You’ve only been drunk for like an hour.”

Red laughed slightly, but the sound sounded more like a groan of pain than an expression of hilarity. He adjusted in his seat slightly, then forced himself to sit up, rubbing at his eyes as Stretch was pulling up a chair to the end of the table and sitting down. Blue and Razz sat across from them, with Fell and his husband sitting in chairs at the end of the booth. Everyone was comfortably drunk, whatever holiday it was having prompted an outing with all six of them. 

“I _hate_ Muffet’s alcohol…” Red groaned, leaning over so that the side of his head rested against Sans’ shoulder. “Grillby is like...the only thing I miss from my shithole of a universe.” 

Fell snorted, grinning knowingly at the other. “Is that just because of the alcohol, brother?”

Red only moved enough to flip him off, groaning something about “only one fucking time, shut the fuck up.”

Sans looked amused by the whole situation, patting Red on the side of the head, but Razz furrowed his brow. “What’s this about Grillby?”

When several moments went by without Red answering, Fell spoke up for him, not even trying to hide his amusement. “Red lost his virginity to a purple, flaming dickhead because he couldn’t control himself.”

“It was my first heat!” Red exclaimed upon seeing the look on the others’ face. Sans just mentally shrugged at the information, continuing to rub Red’s arm until the other sat up unsteadily, turning to face his brother. “And you’re one to talk, Mr.--” he hiccuped, “‘Had Sex With Your Best Friend and You Both Immediately Realized You Were Gay’.”

“Hey--!”

“I getcha, Red,” Stretch interrupted, grinning lasciviously and tipping his chair back so that he could unrepentantly stare across the room at a certain lace-clad bartender. “I had almost the exact same situation, except I wasn’t actually in hea--  _ oof! _ ”

Fell had reached out, grabbing his husband’s unbalanced chair and pushing it back with a bit more force than was probably strictly necessary. Stretch landed, sprawled, on the floor, and Fell ignored his surprised exclamation to turn his attention back to the rest of the bar, steepling his fingers under his chin. “Anyway,” he said, completely calm. “What about the rest of you? Now that the conversation is started, I do find myself interested.”

Razz snorted, leaning back in his seat and looking Fell dead in the eye. “Mine was your mother, and you can shut the fuck up and keep your curiosity to yourself.”

Fell flipped him off, a gesture that was immediately returned by Razz and somewhat drunkenly echoed by Red. Stretch straightened his chair and sat back down, looking a bit sheepish.

“Mine was Razz,” Blue said, shrugging slightly as though the fact should be obvious. 

“He makes it sound all romantic, but he was high on fucking healing magic,” Sans murmured, none-too-quietly, to Red. Red immediately broke out into giggles, opening his mouth as though he was going to say something when he was interrupted by Razz. 

“Yeah, ‘cause yours was so much better, right?” he said, smirking slightly. “Weren’t you, like, blackout drunk?”

Sans looked somewhat offended. “I was not! I definitely remember it!” Then his brow furrowed, and he shrugged. “Well, most of it, anyway. And it’s not like he was much better!” he said, gesturing vaguely across the table.

“Oh, I’ll bet he was  _ so _ much better,” Stretch snickered, dodging a swipe from Fell.

Sans snorted, then schooled his expression into something much more serious. “Oh, it was awful. He had no fucking idea what he was doing, and it just felt so  _ wrong _ , you know?”

Razz snorted in laughter, covering his mouth when he saw the expression on his boyfriend’s face. 

Sans continued, completely ignoring the other’s reactions to stick out his index fingers and hold them about an inch away from each other. “Yeah, and he had, like, a really small dick--”

“I didn’t even have the dick!” Blue exclaimed, his voice an octave higher than usual as he threw his hands in the air. Upon seeing the amused looks Stretch, Sans, and Razz were shooting him, he cleared his throat and sunk down a little in his seat, folding his arms and looking a bit grumpy. “Well, you don’t have to be  _ rude _ about it, geez.”

“I mean, it’s really not very nice, making fun of a man’s dick size,” Sans said conspiratorially to Razz, who snickered quietly before unsuccessfully attempting to hide it. “That’s just not how you make friends.”

“Will you guys stop?!”

Blue wasn’t genuinely upset, with a smile playing on the corners of his mouth, but after some more snickering, Razz decided to drop it and change the subject, turning to Stretch and saying, “So what were all those  _ hands _ like?”

Sans turned to participate in the conversation, for the first time noticing the strange look Red was giving him. He grinned slightly, patting his arm before he spoke quietly.

“I’ll tell you about it later.”


	94. Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *cracks knuckles* Let's do this
> 
> Y'know, I don't know why ya'll are even here anymore, honestly. I barely write anything anymore.  
> NOT TO WORRY THOUGH I JUST COLLECTED A SHIT-TON OF PROMPTS AND SHIT FINNA GET CRUNK  
> (I don't really even know what that means, honestly.)
> 
> SO HEY LETS EXPLORE SOME OF MY HEADCANONS ABOUT THESE DORKS WOOOOOO  
> I feel like I will probably come back and update this chapter sometimes, when I get new headcanons about the characters. Eh, who knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a lot of fun to do lol, ya'll should do it with your favorites. At some point I'll probably add Ink, Error, and Dance

**Names**

UT Sans - Sans

UT Paps - Papyrus

UF Sans - Red

UF Papyrus - Fell

US Sans - Blue

US Papyrus - Stretch

SF Sans - Razz

SF Papyrus - Slim

UL Sans - Lust

UL Papyrus - Pink

 

**Height, Tallest to Shortest**

Stretch, Papyrus, Pink, Slim, Fell, Lust, Red, Sans, Razz, Blue

 

**Birthdays**

Sanses - May 24, 1989

Papyruses - August 12, 1995   

 

**Sans**

[ Magic Color ](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DRC4w4c54Y0/T0otkbsk6qI/AAAAAAAAAGI/KGMLntMhWEs/s1600/blue.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Mint

Sub/Dom= SUB. ALL THE SUB  yes

Self-destructive Sans-Type Tendency: Drinking

Favorite OTP with them: KUSTARD

Favorite brOTP with them: HoneyKetchup (and Kustard honestly)

Favorite OT3 with them: ClassicCherryBerry

Least Favorite OTP with them: Classic Fontcest (if the multiverse is involved. It’s fine if it’s just their world)

 

_ Random Headcanons  _

  * Doesn’t think very highly of himself
  * Practically is a one-man cult for his brother, honestly
  * Is a huge nerd in every possible way. He’s a space nerd, he’s a movie nerd, he knows every word to Bohemian Rhapsody  
  * He can sing? But he doesn’t ever actually try, so it comes out sounding like half-assed rap 
  * He’s the roundest Sans, but he also doesn’t give any fucks whatsoever
  * Secretly loves to slow-dance 
  * Watches Glee for the plot and also Darren Criss and tries to pretend he doesn’t
  * Loves tomato soup when he’s sick
  * Is a huge fucking baby when he’s sick, honestly
  * Gets really pissy with Red, whether or not they’re in a relationship because they are just entirely too similar and he _knows_ it and it kind of angers him that he’s so much like someone who never fucking _stops_.
  * Whenever he lives with people, he’s the type to sneak into the kitchen at midnight and eat all the damn cereal without even using milk. Like a motherfucker.
  * Swears in sign language when he’s angry. Claims it helps get the rage out, but he actually developed it because Paps doesn’t know sign language and so can’t call him out on his language
  * Owns a bunch of cheesy older movies (Titanic, Mean Girls, The Notebook, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) and displays them on a shelf in his room
  * Collects socks like a nerd
  * Googles puns in his spare time to make himself laugh
  * Not as good at hiding the fact that he’s sad as he thinks he is. Someone needs to call him out on it so that he stops.
  * Secretly terrified of the dark
  * Falls asleep in random places. The randomer the place, the harder it is to wake him up, according to Papyrus
  * Likes all kinds of music (except country, which he tells EVERYONE) as long as it’s blasting loud enough to drown out the world



 

**Papyrus**

[ Magic Color ](http://sites.duke.edu/jc319/files/2014/03/2880x1800-amber-orange-solid-color-background.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Citrus

Sub/Dom= Asexual

Favorite OTP with them: ??? I just see him as really super aro/ace

Favorite brOTP with them: PapayaBerry

Favorite OT3 with them: Again with the aro/ace

Least Favorite OTP with them: CherryBlossom (it’s like the one person I  _ don’t _ ship Red with)

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * Definitely has a swear jar. And a sin tin. 
  * Is in no way innocent, but also just doesn’t really care?
  * Would 10/10 rather cook spaghetti or build a trap than have sex
  * His confidence in people doesn’t come from being unaware of the horrors in people’s hearts, it comes from a conscious decision to believe the best in them
  * Would not hesitate to knock you down to .00000001 HP to protect or avenge the people he loves, but would probably hesitate right before the killing blow
  * Volunteers at homeless shelters on the weekends
  * Enjoys Ariana Grande music. Listens to country music specifically to annoy Sans
  * Actually is as full of himself as he first appears, but is absolutely kind enough to make up for it
  * Favorite summer pastime: Sidewalk chalk
  * Secretly adores french fries, but would rather quit the royal guard than admit it to Sans
  * Is fully aware that Undyne never plans to let him into the Royal Guard, and is fully aware why, but he is also sure that if he works hard enough, she’ll change her mind
  * Had a seventh-grade emo phase. Sans has pictures, and they’re _hilarious_ in hindsight
  * Would destroy a universe for Sans, no questions asked
  * A little more clingy than really makes people comfortable? But still kind and loyal to a fault



 

**Red**

[ Magic Color ](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-27PPijGS1es/UYnWzmsPOeI/AAAAAAAABRc/WSiHSmf-pao/s1600/red.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Cinnamon 

Sub/Dom= Sub except in Kustard and a few others

Self-destructive Sans-Type Tendency: Smoking (he prefers drinking but with a world like Underfell, that’s more dangerous than it would be worth)

Favorite OTP with them: KUSTARD (Cherryberry being close behind)

Favorite brOTP with them: Kustard & Cherryberry lol, some Blackcherry

Favorite OT3 with them: ClassicCherryBerry

Least Favorite OTP with them: FUCKING SCIFELL, honeymustard lol (sorry?)  no ur not

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * Likes to pretend he hates himself but is actually an egotistical asshole, honestly
  * Honestly prefers lighter cloths and colors most of the time, but his leather jacket is a source of comfort and protection so he decided to just be edgy 24/7 (sometimes he wears it to bed. Sometimes he wants Sans/Blue/whoever to wear it to bed. Definitely not because they look fucking cute as hell in it)
  * Loves cute & fluffy things
  * ADORES (like, _ADORES_ ) kids, but has gone his whole life pretty sure he’ll never have one of his own. If he ever does, he would honestly be the best parent out of all of them, closely followed by Blue, then Fell. Consistent, but caring, and loves them almost more than anything else in his life.
  * Likes not having to be in control, but also enjoys taking that control from people who piss him off
  * Deals with his anger/emotions by taking deep breaths, which amuses Fell because skeletons don’t actually need to breathe to live, and deep breaths does nothing to calm emotions. It’s just the familiar motions of it that helps.
  * Loves to paint, but has no idea how
  * LV 3 or 4, he’s only killed enough people to keep himself and his brother alive. Also,that one time that he never talks about.
  * Hates reading because he lowkey needs glasses, but loves audiobooks, especially fantasy/adventure stuff like Harry Potter
  * Dropped out of the equivalent of high school, but then went back and got the equivalent of a GED and proceeded to become the equivalent of an RN. 
  * Prefers the whole theoretical physicist thing, but wanted something more practical so that he could help his brother (who was a back-talking little shit as a kid)
  * Knows how to braid hair. No one quite knows why or how.
  * Knows every word to every Ed Sheeran song ever released
  * Loves Toriel’s cherry pie, but has only had it twice. It just doesn’t taste the same when it’s made by any Toriel that isn’t his, but she’s a crazy bitch, according to his late-night ramblings
  * Tried pole-dancing once. Fell reserves his opinion, but turns bright red every time it’s mentioned.
  * Thinks eyeliner makes him look hot. He’s right.
  * Is a smug motherfucker during sex
  * Gets an Irish accent when he gets really excited. Not even he knows why.
  * Went through a phase where he loved edgy human culture, so he has a pierced tongue and a few “tattoos” (brandings, owww) of random edgy stuff like dragons (and one flower on the side of his pelvis. He doesn’t remember getting that one, but it’s secretly his favorite.)
  * Lost his virginity during his first heat when he was 17, still doesn’t regret it
  * Is really quite good at sucking dick lmao
  * Smells like cinnamon, cigarettes, and Alpine Woods cologne from Bath and Body Works



 

**Fell**

[ Magic Color ](https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Lwj_-EUnGN9NlNbeOHeA4wEsEs&pid=15.1)

Taste/Smell= Tabasco Sauce

Sub/Dom= Dom

Favorite OTP with them: SpicyHoney & Fellcest 

Favorite brOTP with them: Lasagnaise (shhh I know it turned romantic)

Favorite OT3 with them: Bledgeup

Least Favorite OTP with them: Edgepuff

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * Bakes and eats chocolate cake when he’s emotional
  * Loves giant, soft, pastel sweaters
  * Is very salty about being the shortest Papyrus, but no one gives him shit about it except Stretch
  * LV 7-9 because fuck his job
  * Loves the Paris vibe
  * His bark is nothing compared to his bite, but he wouldn’t ever even think of seriously hurting someone he loves. Now, smacking Red on the back of the head? A daily occurrence.
  * Won’t even admit to himself that he loves the fox song
  * Knows every word to every My Chemical Romance song ever written, but secretly doesn’t actually like their music. He prefers classical.
  * Wears reading glasses, and loves nothing more than to relax with a good book (isn’t ashamed of loving cheesy christian romances, but also loves some of the more expected stuff plus some nonfiction. He just loves to read. His favorite book is Ender’s Game)
  * Found baby pictures of Red once, and he keeps one of them in his wallet. No one has discovered this yet, but if they did, he wouldn’t take it out.
  * Likes to make lasagna, but doesn’t like to eat it. He actually really likes macaroni and cheese.
  * Knows how to play the violin, but gets it out every so often and screeches it specifically to annoy Red or whoever happens to be living with him at the time.
  * Would fight anyone for a dollar. Would probably fight most people for free. Would pay you a dollar to fight Stretch, Razz, and/or Red. Would definitely fucking win, fuck you
  * Is the Royal Guard Lietenant. Razz is the Captain in his world, and _never_ lets him forget about it.
  * Even if he is the shortest Papyrus, he is also the scariest Papyrus, so honestly sometimes you don’t even notice
  * His armor is really highly polished, but that’s less out of a desire to look nice and more from the fact that the routine of polishing his armor soothes him.
  * He’s a clean freak, but not enough to brave cleaning any mess Red has made. That man has a talent for being fucking weird, who _knows_ what that stain is from? Not Fell. Fell doesn’t want to know. Stay out of my damn room, Red.
  * Ordered a grilled cheese sandwich at a Mexican restaurant once, but it was just to annoy Blue. Also calls all Mexican food ‘tacos’ specifically to annoy Blue.
  * Is a huge Markiplier fan
  * Is slightly haphephobic 



 

**Blue**

[ Magic Color ](http://www.solidbackgrounds.com/images/1920x1080/1920x1080-light-sky-blue-solid-color-background.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Coconut

Sub/Dom= Switch, it heavily depends on the ship. He does like to be in control, though.

Favorite OTP with them: ROTTENBERRY & Cherryberry & Edgeberry

Favorite brOTP with them: Papayaberry

Favorite OT3 with them: ClassicCherryBerry

Least Favorite OTP with them: BBQTaco & Swapcest (thanks 0neType XD)

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * Has a really high alcohol tolerance and uses it to completely fuck with people
  * Listens to a lot of electronic music/dubstep/Skrillex
  * Is a virgin until he’s not a virgin, then _holy fuck who ever said Blue was a perpetual virgin??_ (in other words, holds off for someone special, then discovers a new favorite pastime)
  * Loves avocados. Is very excited about avocados. His favorite vine is the freesh avahcahdoo one. Avocados are the bomb.
  * Loves Michael Bay memes
  * Is a really fucking good dancer.
  * He sees swearing as a way to show that you are cool, so doesn’t swear because he already knows he’s cool, so why would he need to swear. Also, he honestly believes that everyone around him is also that cool, so why would they need to swear, either?
  * Least favorite smell is tobacco smoke, but he always smells like tobacco smoke despite only having smoked once and hating it. He blames Stretch (rightly). His favorite smell is that whole autumn, pumpkin, cinnamon apple spice thing. 
  * Wears gloves to hide old scars. Wears the scarf because it’s made from an old baby blanket of Stretch’s and he loves his brother and honestly misses when he was a kid.
  * All Sanses are the older brothers (so Blue raised Stretch), and all Sanses love the stars (so Blue likes to climb up on top of the roof of his house and just look up, if he’s on the surface)
  * Writes terrible friendfiction and leaves it places (ie Spicyhoney shitposting left on Stretch’s pillow)
  * Still plays temple run, his high score is like 10 million or something and he has every single thing unlocked
  * His boots are waterproofed specifically because he loves stomping in puddles with all his might
  * No one really understands why his magic smells/tastes like coconut? But when it comes down to it in the moment, nothing has ever fit him better
  * Watches Dan and Phil. Ships it hardcore.
  * Buys tea all the time but rarely drinks it. Owns like 12 mugs, but uses them for making brownies and deep-dish chocolate chip cookies in the microwave.
  * All of his clothes are in shades of blue, white, and gray except for one soft purple sweater and a tailored red leather jacket he got because of that one time he watched every season of Once Upon A Time in a week, then did it again. Twice.
  * Goes a little too hard for the people he loves. A lot too hard. Is honestly kinda creepy when it comes to defending the people he loves. 10/10 would kill the human if it killed Stretch. Also 10/10 would destroy the multiverse to save someone he loves and probably wouldn’t feel all that bad afterwards
  * Loves to cook, but has a hard time getting himself to eat very much because of some shit that went down when he was a teenager. Also, _never_ lectures Stretch about being overweight.
  * Has a tumblr. Has like 10,000 followers on tumblr. Will not let anyone he knows in real life find his tumblr.
  * Only swears when he gets jumpscared. In other news, hates Five Nights at Freddy’s. 



 

**Stretch**

[ Magic Color ](http://mediacdn.shopatron.com/media/mfg/13510/category_image/x01_569929.jpg?1344552628&w=740)

Taste/Smell= Earthy/Grassy

Sub/Dom= DOM  no

Self-destructive Sans-Type Tendency: Smoking weed. So much weed.

Favorite OTP with them: Spicyhoney

Favorite brOTP with them: HoneyKetchup

Favorite OT3 with them: Sans x Stretch x Fell

Least Favorite OTP with them: Honeymustard, Swapcest

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * Really likes frog memes
  * Has forced his brother to have, instead of a swear jar or sin tin, an “outdated meme thing”. It’s always full.
  * Is honestly really bitter about how hard his life has been, but hides it really well because of how much he loves the people he considers family. It’s been working out so far.
  * Sometimes has to go sit out on the porch for two hours so that he doesn’t freak out from being enclosed in the house.
  * Has a hard time controlling his magic, so he tends to do a lot of dodging and soul-grabbing during fights because his Gaster Blasters pretty much mean instant death to anyone in the vicinity
  * Is the tallest Papyrus, but he slouches so hard that people assume Papyrus is the tallest
  * Had a crush on Muffet for something like ten years before he realized he was gay
  * Can sing REALLY FUCKING WELL but he only does at Christmas when Blue makes him
  * Has a little too much potential to be yandere (in my humble opinion) (Fresh can suck it)



 

**Razz**

[ Magic Color ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b9/33/8b/b9338b6a56aab3e79ea67ee1984aa0ef.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Underripe Berries/Fruit

Sub/Dom= Dom, but bottom

Favorite OTP with them: ROTTENBERRY & Swellcest (non-fucked up, usually)

Favorite brOTP with them: Blackcherry & Edgelord Supreme

Favorite OT3 with them: TripleberryParfait

Least Favorite OTP with them: ??? Razz can fuck anyone up, idec

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * LV 12 because he used to be a scary motherfucker (is honestly still a scary motherfucker)
  * Doesn’t have the greatest relationship with his brother, unless it’s a Flipping the Script type of relationship. Pretends not to care, but it hurts. He understands why, though.
  * Loves chocolate-raspberry lava cake
  * Hates dancing and singing unless it’s with Blue
  * Has seen all three High School Musical movies more than once. “Because he was bored”.
  * Loves to buy books and line them up on shelves in alphabetical order, but would rather do math for fun like a heathen 
  * Says the word “fuck” approximately every other sentence. Thinks it makes him sound scary. It kinda does sometimes. 
  * Very much enjoys being a dick, but doesn’t enjoy having one
  * His armor is spotless because he’s vain as fuck and kind of deserves to be, now that he’s stopped killing people for fun
  * Learned hand-to-hand human fighting specifically to take Fell down without the use of his magic because he really enjoys embarrassing him. (Fell learned complex bondage techniques specifically to sneak into Razz’s house and tie him up while he sleeps)
  * Is a very light sleeper. Really, only Slim and Fell can avoid waking him. Stretch has made it his life goal to draw a mustache on Razz’s face while he’s asleep. So far, the closest he’s gotten is uncapping the sharpie and getting thrown out a window
  * Kind of senselessly violent, but never enough to actually damage HP
  * Tried to kill Red once because he caught him taking selfies (note: was actually only going to severely injure Red. It’s fine)
  * Takes a lot of selfies. Like, _a lot_ of selfies. His favorite app is snapchat, and he snapchats Blue constantly. Those conversations are an actual treasure trove of normally stoic and “cool dudes” being total fucking dorks.
  * Is really into FroYo and actually not ashamed to admit it
  * He wears eyeliner as a point of pride. Once he forgot it, and everyone was really confused about why his eyes looked so small. 
  * Has a pretty low alcohol tolerance, but is strangely good at pretending to be sober when he’s actually completely shitfaced. Is a sleepy drunk, and constantly thinks he has to go to the bathroom even though skeletons can’t pee. Is _convinced_ he peed once, despite the scientific impossibility
  * Not-so-secretly loves glitter. According to his “journal” (diary), underlust has the best glitter.
  * His phone’s wallpaper is a picture of his brother, but his lockscreen is a selfie with Blue
  * Takes his coffee “black” but for some reason has a huge container of french vanilla coffee creamer in his fridge. 
  * Has steel-toed boots because he kicks things when he’s mad and it’s a lot more satisfying when it actually does something.
  * Owns six different leather jackets but also owns more than one brightly-colored pajama set from Target’s kid section.
  * Smells like Calvin Klein cologne and raspberry pie.



 

**Slim**

[ Magic Color ](http://www.solidbackgrounds.com/images/1024x768/1024x768-burnt-orange-solid-color-background.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Cough Syrup

Sub/Dom= Sub

Self-destructive Sans-Type Tendency: Self-harm

Favorite OTP with them: Swellcest

Favorite brOTP with them: Papyrus x Slim

Favorite OT3 with them: ??? Swellcest+another member?

Least Favorite OTP with them: BBQTaco

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * Actually bought himself his collar
  * Has a hard time looking at his brother and seeing anything except what he used to be (scary motherfucker)
  * Loves caramel lindor chocolates
  * Carries a pack of cigarettes with him and pulls them out to chew on, but never actually lights them up because he doesn’t really like the smell
  * He’s physically masochistic but emotionally sadistic, he secretly kind of likes hurting people’s feelings. That’s why it works so well for him to be friends with Papyrus, Paps couldn’t give a shit because he knows he’s great and Slim eventually stops being mean because it’s just not satisfying to hurt Papyrus
  * Is really good at frisbee and basketball
  * Is a mechanical engineer, and damn good at it too



 

**Lust**

[ Magic Color ](http://www.solidbackgrounds.com/images/2560x1440/2560x1440-electric-purple-solid-color-background.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Vanilla Extract

Sub/Dom= Whatever you want, babe *winks*

Self-destructive Sans-Type Tendency: Sex addiction

Favorite OTP with them: Tango, Rust

Favorite brOTP with them: Lasagnaise, basically everyone honestly

Favorite OT3 with them: All the Sanscest that involves him, honestly. Probably Fellcest+Lust?

Least Favorite OTP with them: Lustcest

 

_ Random Headcanons  _

  * Is absolutely fucking loaded. Both he and Pink are rich af
  * His sex addiction comes from being lonely af. Honestly, if you want to know my Lust headcanons, go read Roommate Bros. That’s my canon Lust, just maybe with a bit less crying lol
  * He just wants someone to love him but even he doesn’t really know that
  * His favorite color is blue, almost the exact same color as Blue’s magic. Blue thinks he’s just laying on a line when he says this but he’s totally serious and not even trying to be weird about it
  * He loves white chocolate, and chocolate chip cookies
  * He collects flavored lubes, but doesn’t actually use them. He just displays them on a shelf above his toy closet.
  * Yes, he has a toy closet. He gets his brother to organize it for him. 
  * Calls people babe only when he knows it will piss them off (ie Razz and Fell)
  * Every other sentence is a sexual pun
  * Even if he is three rooms away, if you say the word “hard” he will giggle really loudly like the mature adult he is
  * He specifically paid off his phone company to give him the area code 069
  * He tells people his favorite book is Kama Sutra but it’s actually the Warrior cats series’
  * When told he should volunteer/do charity he says “well I slept with Red that one time, does that count?” (has never actually slept with Red)
  * Gets really bad migraines pretty regularly and hates everyone during them
  * Listens to a lot of Pitbull music but also a lot of Disney. All the Disney. Lust is a damn Disney _geek_. 
  * Really good singer, can play chopsticks on the piano and hot cross buns on the recorder, is inordinately proud of this
  * Is not a huge fan of kids, but would love his own if he had them
  * Has said if he could grow hair he would have a blue mohawk
  * Would not actually have a blue mohawk. Would do his best to look like Zayn Malik.
  * Once donated like $2000 to an animal shelter because the commercial made him cry
  * Is definitely a cat person. Doesn’t actually like dogs at all



 

**Pink**

[ Magic Color ](http://www.solidbackgrounds.com/images/1280x1024/1280x1024-rose-pink-solid-color-background.jpg)

Taste/Smell= Bubblemint

Sub/Dom= Dom, but hey, whatever

Favorite OTP with them: Red x Pink (I can’t remember what we called it in RB)

Favorite brOTP with them: Stretch x Pink

Favorite OT3 with them: ???

Least Favorite OTP with them: Lustcest

 

_ Random Headcanons _

  * Enjoys totally wrecking people
  * Is a sarcastic motherfucker
  * Kind to a fault
  * ???
  * I don’t really know a lot about this character
  * I honestly ship the underlust papyton more than anything else lol 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me about all of your interesting little headcanons down in the comments. I'd love to hear/adopt some lol


	95. *throws baby bones at the UF bros*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly not the first time I've done that, title. 
> 
> ...so there's this [artist](https://whotheheckyisbecky.tumblr.com/). And they're amazing. Seriously amazing. I might stalk their tumblr a lot. They're way cooler than me, but I still wanted to do this lil tribute to this fucking _adorable_ [art](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/159627845314/baby-ut-bros-meeting-the-underfell-bros-if-you) by them. The...I don't wanna call it Papcest because there's a kid involved here but the part with the Papyruses is the most adorable part, but imma focus on the Sanses. Because I'm me. And also to give you a reason to click that link and support them.   
>  (sorry it's short, you've just done so much for me and my work that I just had to do something for you. You're amazing and I can't thank you enough!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where these babies came from. They just appeared. *poof*
> 
> Munchkin comes from what I used to call a little girl I babysat regularly for something like 2 1/2 years, she was my little angel and honestly is 99% of the reason I want kids, so hey, here's a little tribute to her.

Red was entirely oblivious to his brother's shouts from the other room as he watched the little babybones toddle around the kitchen. He looked a lot like the photos he'd seen of himself as a baby, except that his eyelights were brighter, and he didn't have that crack in his skull that Red still had a scar from to this day. He had a little blue hoodie on, as well as a pair of basketball shorts that didn't look too big, exactly, but were honestly functioning more as full-length pants than actual shorts. Red'd decided to name the tiny skeleton Munchkin in a strange bout of confused hilarity, and the clothes somehow made him look even smaller, fitting the name perfectly.

The little guy had been asleep up until a few minutes ago, as he was wont to do, apparently, but now he seemed to be using up his new energy to explore his new surroundings. As soon as he'd been brought downstairs, he'd taken off, making his way across the living room carpet and towards the kitchen doorway. Thoughts of the knives and possible hot surfaces and, well, he didn't fucking know _what_ else sent Red immediately to his feet to follow him, leaving his brother to glare at the other kid as he sang loudly to himself. As soon as Red's little charge made it to the kitchen, his pink-socked feet slipped and slid on the tile floor, sending him to the ground with a yelp. Red stepped forward to help him, but he just stood back up laboriously, not even crying before he started to try climbing onto the nearest chair. 

So Red had just leaned back against the counter, watching the pure display of adorable in front of him as the little guy bumbled around, poking everything he could touch and, surprisingly enough, not getting into any life-threatening trouble. He kept an eye on him anyway, already attached to the little shit in the few days they'd had to get to know one another. Even though there weren't many coherent words around the rare babble Munchkin directed towards him, Red could have sworn there was a twinkle of trouble in his bright little eyes. He wouldn't be surprised if he was planning something devious.

Well, at least something as devious as hands as tiny as that could prepare. 

Red tilted his head to one side as he watched Munchkin trying to open the stove, a fond smile growing across his face at the babybones's frustration. He's always had a soft spot for kids, but there weren't many here in the underground. Even if you managed  to trust someone openly enough to create a child with them, it wasn't common for kids to live long unless they were sent to the king. And while being sent to the king wasn't anywhere close to as difficult of a fate as staying out in the dangerous world would have been for them all, it just made the underground that little bit darker, to walk the streets and never hear children playing and laughing. He could only imagine what that would be like, to have them around all the time. 

As giggling erupted from the living room, his grin grew. He supposed he didn't have to imagine what it would be like, anymore. 

Munchkin reacted to the noise almost immediately, perking up and abandoning his mission to toddle back across the room and peek through the doorway. He looked into the living room, a strangely concentrated expression on his tiny face, before he turned around and did his best run, nearly falling over in the process, back to Red. His smile was practically splitting his skull in half as Munchkin ran straight into his legs, bouncing off and landing on his butt and looking confused for a split second before he reached up towards Red, eyelights sparkling. 

Well. 

He wasn't gonna turn  _that_ down, that was for sure. 

He reached down, scooping the babybones into his arms and chuckling as the little guy immediately nuzzled into his chest, seeming to be preparing to fall right back to sleep. Preparing for that eventuality, Red pushed himself up from the counter, starting to cross the room until he felt something batting at his clavicle. He paused, looking down to see Munchkin looking up at him, a big smile on his face. He grinned right back, the innocent joy in the other's expression all kinds of infectious. 

Munchkin babbled something, then stopped, looking up at him expectantly. Red just smiled and nodded, pretending to know what the other was trying to say. The little guy tilted his head to one side, a nearly comical frown on his face, and Red had to stifle laughter. Then, to his complete surprise, the little hands detached from the cloth of his coat, moving to make a sign that Red knew very well. 

 _Brother_.

Red stared down at him in shock as the little guy looked up at him questioningly, the frown having faded. Then, something far more happy than he was used to burning behind his eyes, Red nodded, smiling impossibly wider. Then he moved his attention to call out the doorway, shifting the babybones in his arms to call out to Papyrus, "Boss! I think I'm in love!"

"Of course you are, it's a fucking kid--ow!"

Red snickered, knowing that the other one had probably smacked his brother for the language. He looked down, expecting the child in his arms to have the same amusement on his face. 

Munchkin was sound asleep again, face resting against the soft fur of Red's jacket and fingers curled tightly into the cloth of his jacket. His chest rose and fell steadily, and Red couldn't help but brush one hand over the side of his face, his smile growing softer. The kid shifted into the touch, turning slightly so that Red could see his face, scrunched up in sleep. 

Fuck, he hoped spoiling them rotten wouldn't make them too much of assholes later, because screw it, he was gonna give these kids the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell that I really like kids? Because I really fuckin do.


	96. Megalostringtheory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Megalovania’d again. But this time, ITS ALLLLLL STRING THEORY. I’m having a lot of trouble writing the next chapter so I thought I’d play around with some worldbuilding. More specifically, however, to stop myself from spoiling shit in either existing book or the next one, this is all focused around Stretch and Fell’s wedding. These are not in any way in chronological order, and there’s gonna be a lot of unexplained shit, just warning you (feel free to ask questions though, I’ll answer the ones that aren’t spoilery), and it’s probably all canon? But don’t sue me if some facts don’t line up with stuff I write later. 
> 
> Also, watch out for that last one. My sadism got away from me.

_Stay - Alessia Cara_

“I’m gonna marry your idiot ass someday…”

Stretch froze, a disbelieving smirk growing over his face as he looked back over his shoulder at his very drunk alternate. “You are, huh?”

“Hell yes I am!” Fell said, attempting to push himself up to stand from where he was leaning against the kitchen counter and only succeeding in nearly making himself fall over. “I’m going to fucking marry you, and _then_ \--” he hiccupped, and Stretch stifled a snicker. “I’m going to love you _FOREVER._ ”

Stretch snickered again, then grabbed the two bowls of popcorn before setting off for the living room, shouting back over his shoulder, “It might be a good idea for us to actually be dating first, yeah?”

There was a very long pause, and Stretch snickered again.

“I’M GOING TO DATE YOUR IDIOT ASS SOMEDAY!”

 

_Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5_

“Wanna dance?”

Sans looked over, scrunching his nose when he realized who was talking to him. “Why?”

Red looked somewhat affronted, making a face back before replying, “Because we’re the only two people left at the table?”

“Nah.”

Raising a brow, Red leaned back in his seat. “Nah?”

Sans grinned at him, gesturing to the piece of wedding cake on his plate. “I’m busy.”

“Well fuck you then,” Red said, snorting lightly.

Snickering slightly, Sans leaned sideways in his seat, checking Red out very obviously before he straightened back into his previous seat, smoothing the rolled sleeves of his dress shirt.

“Not for a billion G, dude.”

 

_Symphony - Clean Bandit_

Stretch yawned, leaning sideways so that his head rested on Fell’s shoulder. “I’m tired.”

Fell looked down at him disbelievingly. “It’s fucking 9 PM, what is wrong with you?”

“You’re what’s wrong with me.”

Raising a brow, Fell spared the other a small smile. “What the fuck are we doing here, then?”

Stretch lifted his head, looking from side to side before leaning back down and answering, “Drinking, apparently. Everyone except _me_ , _a-ppar-ent-ly_.”

Fell snickered, wrapping one arm around Stretch’s shoulders and pulling him closer, planting a kiss on the top of his head. Ignoring how Red was miming retching from across the table, he murmured, “It will be worth it, love. Do not worry.”

Stretch grinned, his eyes tightly shut as he let himself be held. “I know.”

 

_Body Like a Back Road - Sam Hunt_

“So I guess we have to dance or something?” Red said, his tone sounding anything but eager.

Blue gave him a look, then sighed deeply before standing and brushing himself off as though in preparation for having to touch something disgusting. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Red groaned exaggeratedly, and Blue stifled a snicker, holding out his hand like he expected it to be kissed. Red ignored the hand completely, walking out onto the dance floor like he was preparing to go to a funeral. Blue didn’t even bother to stifle his laughter this time as he followed him out, letting the other catch him and lead him into the first steps of a slow dance.

“Why am I being forced to touch you again?”

“Because we’re best men and it’s apparently a tradition?”

Red looked affronted, then let go of Blue to strike a pose. “Fuck you, I’m a maid of honor.”

“Language,” Blue reprimanded gently, then grinned again. “And yeah, you’re quite the _fabulous_ maid of honor.”

“Hey, shut up, I saw you making out with that dude earlier.”

Blue burst into laughter as they started dancing again, making Red grin. “I think ‘that dude’ is my soulmate, thanks.”

Red groaned loudly, then winked, dropping Blue into a deep dip as he turned to look for Razz. He found him as he was pulling him back up, and shot a smug wink in his direction before turning back to Blue. “Are you two ever gonna get married?”

Blue shrugged, seeming completely unconcerned. “We've talked about it, and it's expensive and pretty much unnecessary. So probably not.”

“Sinners.”

“Excuse the heck out of you, Mr. Was Having Sex in the--”

“Zip it!”

 

_All About Better Wonderland - ???_

Papyrus shot to his feet as the first few notes of the song started up, hopping excitedly from foot to foot in a way that was probably supposed to be like dancing. Sans snickered, watching him amusedly before turning to Slim.

“Hey, you should get up there.”

Slim gave him an annoyed look, then sighed, turning his attention back to Papyrus. “Nah,” he said quietly, giving a small shrug. “I’m not really in the mood.”

Sans schooled his expression into something neutral, trying not to let his pity show. Papyrus had only mention Slim’s trouble to him accidentally, and Sans wasn’t about to let Slim know that he knew.

“Doesn’t Paps usually help you out with this stuff?” he asked instead, knowing that Slim would expect him to assume that it was the usual problem. Sure enough, Slim’s eyes flicked over to where Razz was talking and laughing with Blue and Fell. He gave a full-body shudder at the smile on his brother’s face, still entirely unused to the expression actually being one of joy. Then he sighed, turning back to face Sans. “Yeah, usually.”

Sans didn’t miss the way his eyes seemed to catch on Stretch before he forced his attention back to his best friend.

“It’s a little different than usual, though.”

 

_Bun up the Dance - Dillon Francis_

_[The Dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRjI2kiWARc) _

Blue rolled his shoulders, cracking his knuckles before starting to dance haphazardly, making Razz snicker. Sitting in his seat at the table, he watched with amusement as the other very obviously was trying to follow steps that maybe he had known a long time ago, but was definitely no longer proficient in.

Blue was happy, though, face flushed lightly. He’d stopped itching at his sleeves, probably too hot without rolling them up, though he refused to admit to it, and was instead now waving his arms wildly through the air. Razz grinned wider, watching him, and Blue gave him a questioning sort of look.

Immediately, Razz shook his head. No fucking way was he doing that.

Blue shrugged lightly, then made a gesture in the direction of one of the others. Razz followed his gaze, then raised a brow before shrugging. Sure, why not.

Blue grinned happily, cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, “Sans!”

Sans jumped about a foot and a half in the air before turning to him questioningly, probably wondering why Blue felt the need to shout when he was two feet away from him.

“Come dance with me!”

 

_Paris - The Chainsmokers_

Fell took a deep breath, fingers brushing against something in his pocket before he yanked his hand out, breathing deeply again. This was fine. It was great. They’d been together for almost a year, it was fucking fine, calm the hell down.

Stretch was at the end of the pier, chin in his hands as he leaned against the railing and gazed peacefully at the sunset. Fell took a moment to commit the image to memory, smiling softly as he looked, his gaze all for the person in front of him rather than the view.

He stepped forward, coming up behind Stretch and wrapping his arms around his waist from behind before tucking his chin into the other’s shoulder. “Gorgeous.”

Stretch looked back at him, smiling happily. “I know, right? I fucking love sunsets.”

Fell opened his mouth, preparing to deliver the next line, but it caught in his throat with the cheesiness of it. This moment was real. This was so fucking real, and it wasn’t something he was about to ruin with some stupid pickup line.

He took a deep breath as Stretch turned his attention back to the sky, the action causing the front of his ribs to be pressed more firmly against Stretch’s back.

“This seems like the sort of place we should make a memory in,” he murmured instead, and as Stretch turned to him in confusion, he stepped back, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a soft black box before settling down onto one knee.

 

_Cake - Melanie Martinez_

Slim twisted his hands together nervously, studiously keeping his attention on the skeleton talking animatedly to him. Normally, he could listen to Papyrus talk all day, preferring to listen than to talk himself, and loving the many stories the other came up with.

 _But HE was right there_.

Papyrus had been his best friend for...what, a year and a half? Two years? They meshed together almost too well, as though they were the platonic version of all this “soulmate” bullshit Papyrus loved to wonder about.

_A loud burst of laughter made him jump. Why the hell did it still make him jump when the sound was so obviously filled with joy?_

Papyrus hadn’t told Sans about their plans to go to college yet, saying it would be better to wait until after the wedding. Slim had to admit, he did feel a bit guilty about essentially stealing the other’s brother, but Slim _needed_ Papyrus. Papyrus was pretty much the only person that had ever made Slim able to handle it all, everything that was crashing around in his head.

_He saw Blue suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, and immediately felt himself recoil in preparation. Sure enough, HE was right behind him, still laughing. Slim felt his magic curl in on itself._

Papyrus did help. Usually.

 

_Scars to Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara_

(It’s not self-harm, I promise. Old injuries that were received...out of his control)

Blue sighed, tugging down at the hems of his sleeves for a moment before giving up, turning to look at Razz. “I _need_ to wear my gloves.”

Razz looked up, then, seeing Blue’s fingers subconsciously picking at the hem of his sleeve, sighed. “We’re going to a wedding.”

“I know.”

“You’re wearing a suit.”

“You don’t say?”

Razz fell silent, watching him carefully until Blue sighed again, turning back to the mirror and staring at his wrists in his reflection instead of looking down, as though that would make the worn-down and scratched bone less real, somehow.

“Sorry. You know I hate them.”

Crossing the room, Razz gently took Blue’s hands in his own, lifting them to his mouth and pressing a small kiss to each of the scars that encircled his wrists. “I know. But you’re still perfect to me, no matter what you think about them. They don't change that.”

Blue sighed, but didn’t argue, instead gently tugging his hands back from the other. He spared one last glance over at his gloves, then steeled his resolve, holding his arm out for Razz.

“Ready to go?”

 

_Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran_

Red was singing under his breath, his body language entirely nonchalant as though he thought that would make sure no one noticed.

Someone noticed.

Fell grinned lightly at his brother, needing no explanation for what he was doing and why. Red had had an attachment to this particular musician since they came to this world, quickly learning all of his songs and memorizing them. He seemed to think he’d hidden that fact from his brother, but Fell was much more observant than Red sometimes gave him credit for.

His smile faded as he got a better look at Red’s face. There was an emptiness there. Not that it was particularly strange or unexpected, but Fell hated it when he made that face. He used to feel that way too, before…

He looked to his other side, taking in the sight of Stretch, his suit coat already off, sleeves rolled up, and tie loosened almost to the point of ridiculousness.

Before he’d found someone who made him happy.

He shifted his gaze back to Red, and felt his soul tighten. He wanted his brother to find that same happiness. But…

Where could he even begin?

 

_Love - Lana Del Rey_

Sans smiled at his friends across the room; even stationed by the punch bowl as he was, he could see Fell glaring at him, as though daring him to try to spike it. He grinned back innocently, fully aware of the fact that Red had spiked it a half hour ago.

A slow song started up, and he felt his smile fading as he caught movement from the other side of the table, Blue jumping to his feet and offering a hand to someone. Well, not someone.

Sans could practically hear Razz’s long-suffering sigh as he stood up and took Blue’s hand, allowing himself to be led out to the dance floor. Sans quickly turned away, focusing on ladling as much punch into the plastic cup as he possibly could.

It was a good thing Red had beaten him to the _punch,_ he told himself, forcing a small snicker. He was definitely going to need it.

 

_I Think I’m in Love - Kat Dahlia_

(the fucking official spicyhoney theme song, guys)

“INTRODUCING THE NEW COUPLE!”

Stretch snickered to himself as Fell pulled him into the motions of their wedding dance, imitating the announcer under his breath. Fell huffed, but the joy in his eyes offset his annoyance as he pulled the other close, reveling in the feeling of _finally_ being able to do this.

“You look pretty nice,” Stretch offered after a moment, still grinning widely.

Fell raised a brow, already certain that there was more to this than the other was letting on. “Thank you. You do too.”

“Yeah, you certainly _groom_ ed yourself.”

There was long pause, during which they both kept dancing, the motions almost mechanical with how often they’d practiced.

“I want a divorce.”

 

_I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - Zayn Malik & Taylor Swift _

Blue still sometimes couldn’t believe how good it felt, to have Razz right here in front of him. It was incredible, being able to reach out and touch him, to be able to see him laugh and to meet his eyes. He forgot sometimes, nowdays, how absolutely wonderful this was, how much it meant to him.

All he wanted to do was be close to him, never let him out of his sight again, hold him close and be held closer. Now, dancing in the middle of the room, his arms wrapped around Razz’s neck and his face resting on his shoulder, he didn’t think he would ever want anything else.

Razz’s grip on him tightened, just for a moment, and Blue looked up, knowing that Razz could feel the echoes of emotions through his soul, and he smiled at the expression on the other’s face. Razz had told him, a few times, that happiness sometimes didn’t feel real unless it was happiness they shared. The way Razz was looking down at him right now told Blue that he was feeling that now. That he wanted to be close to Blue just as much as Blue wanted to be close to him.

Blue had responded, at the time, that all of their happiness was shared, following it up with a cheesy sort of smile that made Razz laugh.

He’d never savored a sound more.

 

_Shape of You - Ed Sheeran_

[The Dance](https://youtu.be/Kl5B6MBAntI?t=232)

Red couldn’t help but let his shoulders bounce, following the beat with a huge grin on his face as he let his feet tap out steps he knew all too well.

The song shifted, and he planted his feet, swaying his hips rhythmically before letting himself bounce out of position. He completely ignored the wolf-whistling coming from the table, dancing fucking fantastically, as he well knew.

Spinning around, he shot a wink over to the others, stepping into the next part of the dance as he did so. They were all watching him amusedly, but the copious amounts of spiked punch were lowering his inhibitions considerably, making him want to show off as much as he possibly could. He could see Blue rolling his eyes, and his brother nudged him saying something quietly that made him laugh. Red grinned again, pretty sure he knew exactly what they were saying.

The song ended, and he made his way back over to the table, plopping down before leaning forward, propping his chin in his hands.

“So, how’s the weather over here?”

_Verge - Owl City_

The next song started, and Blue’s eyes lit up. He turned to Red, who was slightly out of breath from his dance, and said, “It’s about to be raining.”

Red scrunched his brow, looking confused as Blue stood up, rolling his shoulders before striking a pose and crying out, “Raining with awesomeness from this magnificent dancer!”

Right at that moment, the chorus started, and Blue reached up to loosen his tie, dancing wildly and not at all on beat as the others watched him amusedly. He heard Fell start to question if he had actually just said something that cheesy, but he was quickly shushed by Stretch, who was watching Blue fondly.

Razz was laughing at him, and Red was doing his best to look affronted, but Blue just kept going, dancing his way around the table and bonking Sans on the head on his way. “You guys can’t handle the magnificence!” he yelled, and Stretch laughed aloud, shaking his head at his older brother’s antics.

Sans snickered, rubbing at his head and nodding his head along to the beat. Blue winked at him, then continued around the table, bonking more heads on the way until he was back where he started, and Razz grabbed his wrists, his amusement having lit up his face as he tried to get him to sit down and calm a bit.

Blue refused to chill, as usual, and pulled Razz to his feet, gripping onto both of his hands and spinning haphazardly, laughing loudly all the while.

 

 _The One_ _\- The Chainsmokers_

Stretch had his chin propped in his hands when he heard Red sit next to him. He glanced to the side, one brow raised, but Red was focused forward, probably watching Fell just like Stretch had been a moment before.

He was just about to shift his focus back to his husband (his _husband_ ) when Red spoke up, quietly.

“Since we’ve had this conversation before, I’m sure you know what I’m going to say.”

Stretch nodded, suppressing a grin. He’d been expecting this. “If I break your brother’s heart, you’ll kick my ass.” He turned his grin back to Red and tilted his head to one side. “Though I do have to wonder, who’s gonna defend my honor if he’s the one breaking hearts?”

Red snorted. “What honor?”

“Rude, man. Rude. You’re the one breaking my heart right now, I hope you know that.”

Red snickered again, then seemed to give it some real thought before he smirked. “If my brother’s the asshole, then Blue will probably have Razz kick everyone’s ass.”

Stretch snorted. “Yeah, as if he needs Razz to do it for him.” He winked. “Great talk, bro.”

“Whatever you say, princess.”

 

_Breathe - Lauv_

Two years.

Stretch could feel the soft blanket that was covering the bed, and the body on it, pressing into the side of his face. He tightedned his hold on the other’s hand, squeezing gently as though that would be the magical difference that would encourage a reaction.

It had been two years since they had bonded, to the day.

Awash in memories, it felt as though his soul was going to break. He took a deep breath, knowing that if he didn’t get ahold of himself, it was going to hurt more than just him. He felt a few tears slipping down his face, doing his best to keep from hyperventilating, and squeezed Fell’s limp hand harder.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up. Red looked almost as broken as he himself felt, eyelights dim and his near permanent grin completely missing.

“Go get some food,” he murmured, and Stretch only hesitated a moment before he nodded, forcing himself to stand. Sans was hovering in the doorway, and Stretch could see Blue beside him, saying something quietly. Why Sans was here, Stretch still wasn’t entirely sure, but he didn’t really have the emotional capacity to really wonder.

“Thank you, Red,” he said quietly as the other took his place in the chair, moving to let his brother manhandle him down to the cafeteria.

Red just nodded, his attention already on his brother.

A lot had changed in two years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so who gave sans the billion g  
> lmao
> 
> ALSO  
> Fun headcanons for the string theory universe and also probably in general  
> Soulmates is the term for two people who have a soul bond but are not legally married. (So Blue and Razz). Because of heats, sex is a bit more casual for monsters (though not entirely, of course, it's just incredibly rare and kind of weird to stay a virgin until you're married) so the thing that marriage has always been a bit more focused on is the bonding aspect.  
> The bonding is also why Stretch can't drink, because it's dangerous to bond when you're drunk and that's what they're gonna do as soon as they get home.


	97. Dearest Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is so fucking stupid but I had _fun_.
> 
> If you're wondering where all of these names came from, the story originally just said "reader" where the names were (ie "dearest reader" "lovely reader") but hey I decided to make it a bit more personal and stuck in some of your names that I know from emailing and asking on Tumblr and generally being friends with people. So have fun with that! The chapter was spun from a prompt on Tumblr!

Once upon a time, in a land of death and misery, there lived two skeletons. Their names were Red and Fell, and their magic was as red as the blood they drew. And, dear Oli, did they ever suffer. Being forced to kill, to bring the thing they feared most, even when it was upon those they counted as enemies, tended to wear down on one’s heart and soul. 

Now, Courtney my love, one afternoon in particular stands out in this respect. A day in which, wonderful Shae, these brothers suffered particular hardship. A hardship in which, sweet Myriam, you will now learn much about. 

Our story starts today in the living room of those you may know as the Fell brothers, the younger sitting on the couch, book in hand. Dearest Caitlyn, this book meant so much more than you may think at first, and even as he glanced up at the ceiling with apparent annoyance and set the book aside, he was careful not to crease a single page. Fantastic Tobin (and may I say, lookin’ fly in those jeans, Tobin), these few peaceful moments mean more to him that we could even begin to-- 

“Excuse me?!”

What? 

Fell stood, hands on his hips and looking up at the ceiling with a glare. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

Uh...Well, my name’s Crush, it’s nice to mee--

“Fuck off! Who is this story supposed to be about?” Fell was practically shaking his finger in the direction of the disembodied voice. 

Probably your brother, knowing me, with you in there a bit on the side.

“Me on the--” Fell huffed loudly, crossing his arms and levelling a new glare, once that would oftentimes have his enemies quivering in fear, fear of the power he held--

“STOP NARRATING EVERYTHING I DO!”

Dear, lovely, wonderful, sweet Kirstie, Fell was, in every sense, pissed. 

“AND STOP FLIRTING WITH YOUR READERS!”

Why would I?

“The story is supposed to be about us, not them! And they’re not even that great!”

...Have you  _ seen _ Bianca’s hair?

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT BIANCA’S ADMITTEDLY FANTASTIC HAIR!”

You should.

“I sh--THAT IS NOT THE POINT!”

“Uh...Boss?”

Fell looked down to find his brother standing by his side, having entered the room unnoticed because the narrator was too busy being distracted by a certain gangly asshole. Immediately, his gaze snapped upward again, face turning a shade of bright crimson as he glared at the unknown entity. 

“I AM NOT GANGLY!”

But, dearest  Amanda, he actually sure as fuck  _ was  _ a gangly bastard, and positively full of shit to boot! It was truly amazing, beautiful Paige, that he had managed to--

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Red was looking up at his brother as though he was on the verge of losing it, which he honestly probably was. Then, my gorgeous Elizabeth, his gaze followed his brother’s up to the ceiling, where his eyes met nothing at all, for this strange, disembodied voice existed only in the planes of Fell’s war-cracked mind.

“I’ve never even been to war!”

Red turned his attention back to Fell, one brow raised in a fashion that somehow lended expression to a solid skull, though, lovely Sarah, no one quite understands why. We tend to just go with it. 

“Boss, are you doin’ okay?”

Fell was not, in fact, doing oka--

“I’M FUCKING FINE!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!”

Fell was, in fact, being a rude motherfucker.

“Serves you fucking right.”

As usual.

“FUCK YOU!”

“...Boss, maybe you should lie down.”

“FUCK YOU TOO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and Fell, if you're truly interested in the whole "fuck" thing, a better person to ask than me might be KD. I will definitely help out your brother, though. (inside jokes, don't mind me)


	98. Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've told more than one or two people online this, but I'm recovering from anorexia currently. I'm nowhere near the thick of it, don't worry, I started the recovery process something like two years ago, it's just been an incredibly difficult couple of days, and I wrote this as a sort of...vent. I just needed to get some stuff out. The four parts of this are based off specific experiences I have had.  
> And hey, I already had this headcanon about Blue, so it works out. 
> 
> Warnings for eating disorders and the struggle of all that goddamn bullshit.

Skeletons don't have a gag reflex. Even the throat they can summon for a more...private use doesn't have any connection to a real stomach. There's no way to  _ make  _ yourself throw up, or really to “throw up” at all, what with the process of a soul absorbing monster food being so instantaneous. 

So when Blue takes a bite of his taco, it's not something he can take back. No matter how much he might want to undo it, it's too late, and even though he can't really gain weight in the usual sense, it feels like the bite is already sticking to the insides of his ribs. There's a moment where his free hand reaches for the inside of his ribcage, his subconscious mind telling him to scrape away the extra baggage, to claw at his insides until he's raw and until he can't feel that  _ damn _ mouthful sticking there anymore. 

But he knows by now that it's useless. So his hand drops to his lap, and the hand still holding the taco goes momentarily limp, right on the edge of dropping it down onto the bare table. 

He hadn't bothered with a plate, too caught up in the momentary thrill of the idea of eating a  _ taco _ . God, it's been so long since he's had his favorite food. 

But now that he has, he  _ wishes _ he hadn't. He can't believe he has, really. Is a damn taco really worth it? 

Of course not. 

He's been “cute” for so long, not taken seriously because of the way he looked. And maybe it wasn't entirely the fault of the things he ate; after all, he was a skeleton. The only  _ actual _ chubbiness he might have would be carried in his ectobody, and his ectobody was only something he would break out in an altogether more private setting. But magic, in a skeleton monster, held together so much of your body, and just like food would soften the stomach of a fleshier monster, so would his joints soften, making his movements come slower and his magic glow brightly under stress in a way that everyone seemed to see as endearing. 

He was so tired of being endearing. 

Making a short sound of disgust, trying to convince himself that his soul wasn't aching, he stood, crossing the room to the garbage can and tossing the still-steaming taco in the trash. There was a split second of satisfaction, followed by relief. He was strong. He was stubborn. 

He could do this. 

~~~

Breathing heavily, Blue swiped a hand across his forehead, ineffectually attempting to soak up the sweat that had gathered there. He could feel his legs wobbling underneath him, but he grit his teeth, forcing himself to go just a bit further. 

A few more stumbling, almost-running steps, and he was in sight of his house. The sight caused him to grin with relief, and he slowed to a stop, pausing for a moment to catch his breath before making another pass across his forehead. He didn’t want Papy to see him flushed and exhausted like this; it just felt weird for the younger skeleton to be the one giving the lectures. 

After composing himself, he began jogging again, going along at a much slower pace as he approached the door.

He was hungry, he realized. He paused in the doorway, his hand on the knob. He was  _ really _ hungry. That run must have taken more out of him than he thought it had. 

He could always just… 

Blue snorted to himself, shaking his head slightly before pushing the door open. The stinging ache in his soul brought him the smallest amount of satisfaction as he walked into the house. 

~~~

His HP is going to fall. He can feel it, his single point hovering right on the edge of dropping away, of turning him to dust. 

He's on his knees, gasping for breath, trying to get ahold of himself, and he can hear Alphys yelling above him, a worried sort of edge to her voice that makes him want to look up, to see what she could possibly be so upset about. But he can't summon the energy, his body screaming at him that if he moves, that'll be it. He'll be gone. 

All she’d done was clap him on the back, welcoming him into her home. He knew his bones were getting more brittle, but they hadn't even  _ broken _ . Just the innocent hit itself had downed him. If it hadn't been for a complete lack of intent to hurt, he would probably be dust already. 

He finds himself worrying, for a moment, about his own weakness. How would he ever survive in the Royal Guard if something like this could down him?

_ As soon as you make it, you won't have to do it anymore. You won't have to be weak. You just have to make it.  _

He makes an attempt to stand, trying to gather his legs under him, but it leaves him gasping in pain and fear as there's a sudden shift in his bones, and a sifting of dust falls to the ground. Alphys’s worried tone becomes slightly more shrill, and she disappears for a moment. Shame washes over him, and he fights off tears. She can see how weak he is, she can  _ see _ . He’ll never make it. He can practically see his dreams crumbling to dust before his tear-blurred eyes. 

But then she returns, and she's prying his jaw open, shoving something inside that's immediately making him feel better, immediately making his bones feel more solid under him. He sits up slowly, grounding himself by clenching and unclenching his hands. 

“Wha-what did you--”

“Sans! What the fuck?!”

He looks up, coming face-to-face with her worried and angry expression. He knows that she's worried about him, and he's pretty sure he knows why. She doesn't...she doesn't  _ know  _ what's going on, what he's been doing to himself, but she's been suspicious that there's something going on for a while. He always denies that anything is wrong at all, flashing his hundred-watt smile, but she never seems to believe him. 

He's not stupid. He knows what he's doing isn't good for him. He knows that he's taking a huge risk. He knows he could die, could fall apart in a second. 

But somehow, it's  _ worth it _ . 

“Language, Alphys. There's really--” He coughs, feeling the grit of his own dust on the inside of his mouth. “--There’s really no reason to swear.”

Then he smiles, as usual. It feels emptier than it usually does. 

She doesn't seem to believe it. 

~~~

He’s learned, over time, that the best way to watch his progress is to summon his ectobody. Sure, his joints are less flushed with excess magic, and he can sometimes see his actual bone mass slimming, but results are far easier to account for when he can poke and prod at the magic that pads his middle when he needs it to. 

That’s what he’s doing now; standing in front of the mirror with his shirt, gloves, and scarf tossed onto his bed, summoned stomach bared to his own scrutiny. He squints carefully, tilting his head to one side and regarding himself reproachfully. His hands rest on either side of the magical flesh, pushing and pulling it this way and that.

He thinks there’s less of it than the last time he’s found the time to do this? But he can’t quite be sure, and he really wishes that he hadn’t let Undyne borrow his tape measure.

Blue takes a step back, stretching his arms up above his head and marvelling at the way it stretches his body out, not only making the softly glowing blue stomach flatten just a bit, but also somehow making his very bone structure look slimmer, smoother. He grins at himself in the mirror, bending his arms at the elbows and letting his forearms drop behind his head. As he sticks one hip out to the side, he can appreciate the way he looks. With his eyes hooded, a certain sort of confident air about him? Well, he would look downright sinfully good. 

Then he lowers his arms, and he can’t help his frown at how his body changes in mere seconds, his summoned stomach sticking back out and his bones somehow managing to look rounder and blunter. 

Like this? And excited? Stars in his eyes and jumping up and down?

Of course they all think he’s so damn “cute”. He can’t blame them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you guys be interested in seeing more of this? I could probably do another part or two where I follow his recovery process. It would be very similar to mine, with that added "wishful thinking" ending where he actually recovers.  
> Let me know what you guys think.


	99. More Megalovania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally just did Megalovania for 99 because it's easy and I'm completely burned out from writing Chapter 100. It's completely finished, but the question is, should I post it tonight or tomorrow night? Let me know in the comments lol
> 
> Yes, some of these are really short. My hands hurt and I'm tired af
> 
> Cear, I know one of your requests didn't make it on there, but that's because I really fucking love the idea and I think I want to make it a full chapter. We'll see!

[ Sweater Weather - The Neighborhood ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA26uXxh5O0)

{Lustcest} 

**SansyFresh**

Lust stretched his arms above his head, a loud yawn making its way out of his mouth as he practically skipped down the stairs to the living room. “Paps!”

Pink emerged from the kitchen holding a spatula, a plain white apron covering his usual attire. “Yes, brother?”

“I’m bored!”

Pink rolled his eyes, disappearing back into the kitchen as he replied, “Well, that is unfortunate. And, unfortunately for you, I don’t see how I can help.”

Lust grinned, making his way into the kitchen and leaning against the doorway as he watched his brother cook. “I mean...I can think of a few ways that we could entertain--”

“Sans!” Pink mock-glared back over his shoulder, but Lust could see past the facade. “It’s literally been an hour!”

“...So?”

“Go sit at the table for dinner.”

 

[ [YFM Remix] SharaX - Club Villain ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8deh7KMmdDI)

{Red & Stretch & Fell}

**Cear_IK**

Red yanked his arm from the grip of the dog monster, growling, “Fuckin’ let go of me, you perverted--”

In the time between one breath and the next, the dog monster was suddenly no longer in sight. Red blinked, staring at where the creepy fuck had just been for a moment before he looked to one side, then the other. 

Ah.

“Who the  _ fuck _ do you think you are?”

It had been a long time since Red had seen Stretch this angry, and he had to say, it was a bit of a treat. The aura of power that surrounded the other as he held the dog up against the wall to Red’s left was nothing short of terrifying, magic crackling in his sockets and arcing through his bones. 

The click of heels that Red recognized all too well came from the end of the alleyway, and he turned to look, not even trying to suppress the grin that sprouted as he saw his brother. 

“Heya, Boss.”

“Sans, what the fuck have you done now?”

“Hey, it wasn’t me--”

“Fell!” Stretch interrupted, still glaring at the monster he held trapped. “Mind givin’ me a little help here?”

Fell smirked, continuing down the alley as he summoned a sharpened bone in his left hand. 

“Gladly.”

 

[ Set It Off - Wolf In Sheep's Clothing ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJkj3DgW8Y0)

{Blackcherry}

Razz danced back and forth as he scrubbed at the dish, hips rotating to the beat and voice murmuring along to the lyrics. “Mark my words one day…” he near-whispered, dancing his way over to the dishwasher and placing the plate one rack. 

“Well, would you look at this?”

Jumping about a foot in the air, Razz spun around to face the voice in the doorway. “Red, what the fuck?”

Red flashed him a shit-eating grin. “Did I scare ya?”

“Fuck no! I don’t get--”

Red just looked at him doubtfully, and Razz huffed. “Fine, maybe a little.”

“I just had to pay you back for the jumpscare I got from hearing you sing. I thought someone was abusing some cats or something.”

“Oh, okay, well--” Razz stopped, narrowing his eyes as he realized what the other had said. “Wow, fuck you.”

Red winked. “I mean…”

He barely ducked in time to dodge the plate that flew through the air, aimed directly at his head.

“Wow, Razz...kinky.”

“I fucking hate you.”

 

[ Adam Lambert - For Your Entertainment ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsPFDzAGb4A)

{Rottenberry}

Razz grinned, spinning Blue around and catching him so that his parter’s back was pressed to his front, Blue dancing with a grin on his face that made him wonder how anyone could possibly think of him as childlike. 

The chorus started, and Blue raised his arms above his head, dancing along as though he didn’t have another monster glued to his back, and Razz felt his fuzzy mind present him with more than one excellent idea that he would have loved to share with the other had he not been much more occupied with other things. 

Looking up, he caught sight of the rest of the group watching them, all in varying degrees of confusion, amusement, and, in Stretch’s case, horror. 

Well. 

Might as well give him a reason to be horrified.

 

[ Julie Bergan - Arigato ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFXYxusZEhM)

{Tango}   
“I don’t understand how you can stand to spend that much time around Lust.”

Dance narrowed his eyes, turning to face one of his many alternates that stood leaned up against the counter near him. “Excuse me?”

The other shrugged, reaching up to push his glasses further up his face. “I just don’t get it. He’s so...annoyingly explicit.”

Dance turned to face them head-on, the anger in his expression going completely unnoticed by the other as he opened his mouth to speak again.

“Dance!”

His anger faded slightly as he turned towards the new voice, grinning as he saw Lust coming towards them. “Yeah?”

“Fuck you!”

“Maybe later!”

Lust pumped a fist in the air, and they both burst out laughing before returning to their respective conversations, Comic looking more than a little amused with the unexpected interruption to his conversation with Lust.

Sci made a face, about to say something, but Dance shot him a glare that he finally seemed to catch onto.

“Shut the fuck up about my best friend.”

 

[ Troye Sivan - Ease ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAt1m1lQK3w)

{Cherryberry}

Red smiled into the back of Blue’s skull, arms wrapped almost tightly enough around him that he could pretend that he deserved someone as kind as he was.

 

[ Fall Out Boy - Young and Menace ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtVFTuIZFYU)

{Fellcest}

Fell cracked his knuckles, the motion deliberate and threatening, staring down his opponent as though he already had them beat.

Then the night air was split by a single sentence, and everyone knew they were fucked.

“Sans, dispose of them.”

A figure appeared directly at Fell’s elbow, his sadistic grin flashing as brightly as the gold in his false tooth. 

“Gladly, Boss.”

 

[ Andy Grammer - Crazy Beautiful ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqNaGicLmcg)

{Classicberry}

When Blue looked at Sans, all he could see was everything he knew he could become. No one was perfect, sure, not even Blue.

But he was sure as heck ready to get them  _ both _ as close as possible.

 

[ Troye Sivan - for him. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv8e2oLW0v0)

{Spicyhoney}

Fell glared at his husband, doing every possible thing in his power not to crack a smile.

Stretch looked up from where he was taping a Lego gun to the salt shaker, and grinned his widest grin. “Hey, hold out your hand.”

Fell obeyed, despite every instinct telling him not to, and Stretch carefully placed the salt shaker in his hand before stepping back, staring at the display with an air of someone creating a modern art sculpture.

“Well, I’ll be sure to visit you in jail.”

God, Fell was going to regret asking.

“Why will I be in jail?”

Stretch gestured at the salt shaker, a look of utmost boredom on his face. 

“For assault with a deadly weapon.”

“I want a divorce.”

 

[ Daughtry - Waiting For Superman ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbT3uvOl3Dk&index=22)

{Kustard}  **Warning for mentions of abusive relationship**

Red took hold of Sans’ chin, turning his face into the light so that he could see it better. His mouth was set in a thin, hard line, but he was doing his best not to look as pissed as he was, knowing that Sans would take it all wrong. 

He dipped his washcloth into the bowl of water at his side, washing away the blood that was already staining it before lifting it back to the cracked bone just below the other’s eye socket.

“Sans, what are you doing with this guy?” he asked, not for the first time.

All Sans could do was give him a helpless shrug, holding back tears with everything he had. He knew by now how much it would hurt to cry into a fresh injury like this. 

They were silent for a long moment, the only sound the dripping of water as Red dipped the cloth again. 

“Thank you.”

Red sighed. 

“Anytime, Sans. You’re always welcome here, no questions asked, you know.”

“...I know.”

 

[ AdhesiveWombat - 8 Bit Adventure (SpikedGrin Remix)  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4A_F5SXmgo)

{Lasagnaise}

**Cear-IK**

Lust planted his feet, ignoring Fell’s insisting that he stand down, that he wasn’t worth defending. 

_ Of course you’re worth defending, you fucking asshole _ .


	100. CHAPTER 100 SPECIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God, I'm finally finished with this fucking thing lol. I wrote Chapter 50 in three or four days, but this took me something like a month. Sorry for all the inactivity recently, this thing is why!  
> The title, if this had not been the special, would have been "Perserverance".  
> I was originally going to come up with an entirely new storyline and situation and origin story for these three, but I honestly just love the original story far too much to do that. So instead, I did a total rewrite of every OT3 chapter and wrote the rest of the story that I had planned. I will be posting this as a separate fic, just like Believe in Me. 
> 
> Archive Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence. More specific warnings can be found [here](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/160862133194/warnings) because they contain so many much spoilers. Normally, I would put spoiler-heavy warnings in the end notes, but since this is 26,474 words, I figure you guys probably don't want to scroll all the way down and then back up. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Fresh, for being the beta reader for this monster. You're amazing, as always. <333
> 
> "Perseverance" can be found in chapter-by-chapter form [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10955073).
> 
> [SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13446114/chapters/30819144) (it's not going to be posted in COSOS so make sure you bookmark it there)

Sans still had no idea how he had convinced his two best friends to live with him, but it had started out as quite possibly the best decision he had ever made. There was absolutely nothing better than waking up to Blue’s cooking every morning, and, despite his many complaints, he actually quite enjoyed the loud, out-of-key renditions of Ed Sheeran songs ringing through the house every time Red took a shower. It was peaceful, and the closest to happy he’d been in years. There was a certain amount of entertainment-filled contentment that came with living with two of his favorite people in the multiverse.

 

It really wasn’t much of a surprise when Sans found himself falling for them. It happened a little bit at a time, starting with the well-meant nagging of Blue and the near-constant needling from Red. He noticed how his soul would jump when Blue grabbed his hands, as he tended to do when he got excited. He found himself smiling privately every time he heard Red laugh, the sound rare enough that it was a treat every time it happened. Every single time one of them walked into the room he was in, he could actually  _ feel _ his soul lighting up with happiness.

 

But here he was, sitting on the couch, the two of them just across the room, and he felt as though his soul was imploding. 

 

Of fucking course this would be his luck. Of course this would happen to  _ him. _

 

When Blue got home from work, he was excited about...something? It was honestly impossible to understand what he was going on about, with how fast he was talking. Sans and Red had just sat and watched him for a moment before Red stood up, crossing the room to try to calm him down, much to Sans’ amusement. Red laughed loudly, grabbing Blue’s wrists and pulling him just a bit closer than he was, and Sans just sat and watched, savoring the atmosphere. 

 

_ God, I’m so fucked _ .

 

Then Blue reached out, grabbing Red by the sides of his head and pulling him forward, practically crushing their mouths together. 

 

Blue kissed Red.

 

And now Sans was sitting here, biting back tears, wondering how he’d ever thought he had a chance. Of  _ course _ the two people he…

 

He stood abruptly, sure that if he stayed for another moment, he would completely embarrass himself. Hoping that the look on his face was anything but heartbroken, he crossed the room to the door, looking back just as they broke out of their kiss. Blue’s eyelights were hazy, and Red looked shocked, as though he couldn’t believe his luck. 

 

Sans tried to ignore the fact that that was  _ exactly _ as he’d imagined them with…

 

He turned away. 

 

“I’ll let you two talk this out,” he mumbled, pushing open the door and doing his best not to slam it behind him.

 

~~~

 

When Sans woke up, it was to a pounding headache and a fuzzy brain. He groaned aloud and pressed the flat of his hand against his forehead.  _ Fuuuck… _ He tried to bring his other hand up to rub at his eye sockets, only to find his arm was trapped under something. He opened his eyes slowly, grimacing at the light, and looked down.

 

He was greeted with the sight of Blue, his head tucked up against Sans' bare ribcage, breathing softly. Sans had an arm wrapped around him from underneath, and now that he knew what had it trapped, he could feel that Blue also appeared to be, at the very least, shirtless; a fact that was expanded upon when he shifted slightly and his bare pelvis scraped against Sans'.

 

There was a long moment in which Sans just stared, the pieces very slowly coming together. Then, all at once, it hit him, and the air was split by a shriek as he propelled himself away from his sleeping alternate, landing on the floor with a loud  _ thump _ .

 

Blue, having been awoken by the other’s ungainly exit from the bed, sleepily looked over the side of the mattress. "Sans? What are you doing down there?"

 

Sans just stared at him, unsure how to respond.  _ Oh, fuck... _ What had he done? Sweet, romantic-at-heart Blue, who, with the way he talked, sometimes seemed as though he'd fallen headfirst into one of those cheesy rom-coms that Red always pretended to-- oh  _ shit. _ Red.

 

"Sans?" Blue was still staring at him, very obviously confused and more than a little concerned.

 

"I...I'm just...I don't know. I'm..." Sans couldn't seem to string any of his words together coherently, and it was putting him even closer to the edge of a panic attack, his breath coming faster as his mind spun, trying to figure out what had happened. He couldn’t  _ possibly _ have been so far gone that he had--

 

"You must be freezing!" Blue said, observant as ever, and he pushed himself up to stand, dragging the blanket with him. Sans dragged his eyes away from the large amount of exposed spine he could see, taking a deep breath. His mind tried to remind him that it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it all before, apparently, but he pushed the thought away, feeling vaguely nauseous with guilt. Blue came around the bed, settling down to sit beside him and wrapping the blanket around the both of them. 

 

“Are you okay, Sans?”

 

Of fucking course he wasn’t okay. He was a homewrecking piece of shit. "Yeah. I'm fine." Blue frowned at him, picking up on the lilt of the lie in his voice, but let it go. 

 

"You were pretty drunk last night, weren't you?" he commented, his cheeks flushing. His fingers were picking at the edge of the blanket, and Sans felt himself entranced by the motion for a long moment before he realized the other had spoken.

 

“A-apparently. D-did...Were you drunk too, or…?”

 

Blue scrunched his brow, seeming confused. “No… I’m not usually a big drinker. I don’t like the taste. Do you...not remember what happened?”

 

All Sans could bring himself to do was shake his head. Blue hadn’t even been drunk? He didn’t really seem like the cheating type…

 

Blue’s eyes widened in understanding. “Well, that would explain why you seem a bit out of sorts. Are you okay?”

 

Sans snorted. “Yeah, just peachy. I have a headache, my… well, my  _ everything _ hurts, to be honest, and I just fucking woke up in bed with one of my two best friends, who also happens to be fucking... _ dating  _ or whatever the hell you are, my other best friend! Everything is  _ perfect _ !”

 

Blue laid a cautious hand on his upper arm, making him flinch and look over. The other’s eyelights had dimmed with concern, and there was some emotion in them that Sans wasn’t quite sure how to identify. “Sans, it’s okay. It’s not what you think, I promise.”

 

Sans, confused, was about to ask what he meant when the door swung open, and Red was framed in the doorway. Sans' conflicting emotions were making it hard to think, but he knew one thing for sure. He had really screwed up. Red was pulling a black tank top over his head, and seemed to be about to say something, but Sans’ strangled gasp cut him off. He turned to face him, looking confused, then looked back at Blue with a question in his eyes. 

 

Sans couldn’t take the waiting. "Red, I am so sorry, I...I didn’t mean for this to--” He realized that he was crying, seemingly out of nowhere, but he powered through it, wanting to do his best to save his relationship with, really, either of them. “I never would have done this, not to either of you, I was just...I was drunk, I was so fucking drunk, I had no idea what I was doing. I know that’s no excuse, I just…” Damn it, he was rambling, wasn’t he? He didn't think he'd ever been so terrified in his life. He’d fucked up so badly. He'd just managed to lose both of them for good. He'd have to move out, they'd never want to speak to him again, maybe he’d even screwed things up between them,  _ why was he such a piece of shit _ ?

 

Red raised a brow, looking back at Blue again before he turned his gaze back to Sans. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that there was no real judgement there, but he still couldn’t help the wave of panic that crashed over him as his mind transformed the other’s expression into one of rage. 

 

“Uh...yeah, wow, I’m so betrayed. How could you, and all that.” Red's voice was oddly flat, but Sans was already lost to his panic, burying his face in his arms. He'd ruined everything. He'd lost them, he'd lost them for good, and on top of that, he'd destroyed  _ their _ happiness. He couldn't believe he had let himself be so completely  _ stupid _ . He started to shake, wrapping his arms around himself as his tears started to run down his face.

 

“Whoa, hey!” Red crossed the room to them, and Sans was faintly aware of him cupping his cheeks, trying to get him to look up. Sans pulled his skull away, not wanting to face the accusations he was sure were present in the other’s face. “Sans, hey, stop, why are you crying?!” 

 

"Red, he doesn't remember anything from last night!" 

 

Sans was vaguely aware of Blue’s voice, but he couldn't comprehend what he was saying. He was crying so hard now he could barely breathe, great, wracking sobs ripping through his chest as he realized what an idiot he'd been for ever thinking he could be happy, even for a moment.

 

Everything always went to shit, he should know that by now.

 

"Aw, fuck, Sans, no, come on, I’m not mad at you, it’s alright, it’s all gonna be alright, don’t cry, okay?" Red’s hands found his cheeks again, this time just stroking his thumbs against the bone instead of trying to pull him anywhere. 

 

Sans felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around him before he was gathered up against someone's chest, the back of his ribcage pressed to their front. They started to take deep, exaggerated breaths, and Sans found himself copying them. "Breathe, Sans. Just breathe, it’s all going to be okay." Blue murmured.

 

"I'm so sorry..." he heard Red say quietly. Blue said something back to him, but Sans didn't hear it. He was just focused on the movement of the other’s ribs against his and the fingers still tracing delicate circles over his cheekbones. In, out. In, out. In, out. Deep breaths. He felt himself coming down from his panic, the tears stopping.

 

Through it all, they continued murmuring to him, the soothing timbre of their voices helping him out of the attack. As he calmed, the words they were saying started to become a little more clear, until finally, Red said something from his place right next to Sans’ skull that made him jump violently, turning to face him and freezing in Blue’s hold. "What did you just say?" he asked incredulously.

 

Red moved back slightly as his whole face turned his namesake, and he stammered a little before saying, "I...I l-love you. Sans.” Then his face was set determinedly, and he repeated with conviction. “I love you.”

 

Sans just stared at him for a moment. "What?"

 

"So do I, Sans. We both love you. We really do. It's all okay." Blue said softly from right beside his face.   

 

Sans looked back at him, completely at a loss. “...what happened last night?”

 

Red shifted in front of him, drawing his attention. When he sensed Sans’ eyes on him, his cheeks lit up in a blush, seeming vaguely uncomfortable. “Well...uh...after you left, we sat down to talk. Like you said we should. And we...well, we sorta...we realized--”

 

Letting out a long-suffering sigh at Red’s storytelling inabilities, Blue interrupted, “We talked it out and we realized that we both wanted to be with you, too, Sans. And then this sappy romantic-” he gestured to Red, rolling his eyes jokingly as his voice dropped into a raspy approximation of Red's, “-said that we should ‘totally have a threeway’, so I was going to leave the house to go find you.”

 

Sans glanced back at Blue before grinning forward at Red, the familiar bickering atmosphere relaxing him more than even their confessions had. “You came to find me to have a threeway?”

 

“No!” Blue looked scandalized, and Red snickered, earning himself a glare. “No, I told Red he could have a threeway with himself--”

 

“Mission accomplished.”

 

“--and I went to go make sure you were okay!” Blue continued, ignoring Red completely. “When you left you seemed pretty upset, and I was worried! But when I opened the door you were already right outside.”

 

“You were pretty drunk.” said Red quietly, the grin from his own fantastic jokes slowly fading at the memory. “I had no idea you were blackout drunk, though.”

 

Blue nodded, then continued, “So you came in, and we tried to tell you, but you just kept...you kept trying to go to your room, saying that you couldn’t stay here with us because all you would do was screw everything up. I asked you why, and you said that it was because you loved us both how we loved each other. You said you wanted us to be happy, but that you couldn't be happy watching us love one another. That it would break your heart." Blue looked as though he was about to start crying, and Sans found himself cuddling closer in an attempt to reassure him. He felt Red's hands grab onto his own and his thumbs stroking along his metacarpals.

 

This time it was Red who spoke. "Then, Blue, he, well, he told you that he loved you just as much as he loved me, and I felt the same way, and I told you too. And you just...you just looked at us for a while. It was kinda creepy, actually. Then you, well you sorta…” He shifted again, his blush growing brighter before he continued. “You kissed me? Then, I mean, you can probably figure out where it went from there,” he said, gesturing at Blue’s bare ribcage. 

 

Sans didn’t know what to say. How did he react to this, that the two people that he...and they…

 

“You love me?” he whispered, unbelievingly.

 

“I love the two of you more than I even thought was possible.” Blue replied matter-of-factly at the same time that Red simply said, “Yes.”

 

Sans could feel tears slipping down his cheeks again, but the crying was not accompanied by any of the gasping panic from before. “ _ Why? _ ”

 

Blue just looked confused, but Red’s face fell, sadness coming into his eyes as he realized what Sans was asking. 

 

"Or.. I guess... How? How could you possibly... How could you love  _ me _ ?"

 

Blue looked as though someone had stabbed him through the stomach. He was looking at Sans like he'd never seen him before. "How could we  _ not _ , Sans?" he asked, sounding as though he was genuinely at a loss. 

 

Red’s grip on his hands tightened, and Sans turned to look at him, eyes still filled with tears. 

"Sans, you are amazing. You are kind and caring and strong, and you just...make me feel as though there is something worthwhile to all of this. That’s...that’s not something that’s easy to do, with the life I’ve had.”

 

Blue was watching Red’s face right alongside Sans, warmth coming into his eyelights as he saw the devotion the other had to the skeleton they both loved so much. A lesser monster would have been jealous, he supposed, but all he could think in that moment was how amazing it was, the strides Red had made to be able to care this much about anything. And, by Toriel, did Sans deserve to have that love. They both deserved all the love in the world, and he wanted nothing more than to give it to them.

 

He leaned forward and settled his face into the crook of Sans's neck, wrapping his arms all the way around him. "I love you. So much more than I'll ever be able to tell you, either of you." Sans heard him murmur against his bones.

 

Sans felt tears fill his eyes again, but this time, they felt different. "I love you too." he whispered, letting go of one of Red's hands to wrap an arm around Blue. Shakingly, he pressed a soft kiss to the side of his head before turning to the slightly larger skeleton. "You too. I love you too." he said quietly, a small, disbelieving smile curving his mouth.

 

Red smiled when he heard it, then, a sly grin crossing his face, he asked, "You know, since you don't remember the last time does that make this our first kiss?"

 

Sans blinked, confused. "Our what?"

 

Then Red's free hand was moving, and he cupped Sans' chin, pulling his face forward slightly to meet his own.

 

Red was kissing him. Red was  _ kissing  _ him.  _ Red _ was kissing  _ him _ .

 

He had Blue's arms wrapped tightly around him and his breath on his neck, and Red was kissing him.

 

Maybe he did have a chance to be happy, after all.

 

~~~

 

Fell knocked on the door of the house his brother shared with his alternates, rubbing his exposed humeri in an attempt to stave off the cold. God, the city was spoiling the hell out of him, the large amount of people and machinery keeping everything warm and completely devoid of snow. He needed to get this Royal Guard business (bullshit, in his opinion) sorted out so that he could return to Snowdin and fix his tolerance to low temperatures. After all, if he were to regain his position in this backwards universe, he would need to be able to be as adjustable as he once was. 

 

There was the sound of running footsteps, and Fell couldn’t help the indulgent smile that crossed his face. There was no way that was anyone but Blue, and just like everyone else who had ever met him, Fell had a soft spot for the little skeleton. It certainly didn’t help that Stretch talked about him as though he were the greatest thing in the multiverse. 

 

Though it was entirely possible that that may be the truth, it didn’t mean Fell enjoyed hearing it from the person he was going to be married to. 

 

The door swung open, and sure enough, Fell was greeted by the smiling face of his brother’s much smaller alternate. “Fell!” he stage whispered, looking surprised. “I wasn’t expecting you!”

Fell cocked a brow, but followed his lead with the volume, lowering his voice to reply. “Yes, well, I was in the area, and I needed to return a few keys of Sans’.”

 

“Sans’?”

 

“Red’s.”

 

“Oh!” Blue opened the door wider in invitation. “Come on in, just try to keep the volume down for the moment. Red and Sans are asleep and I was just making some dinner!”

 

Fell snorted in derision, but did as Blue asked and came in quietly, slipping off his wet boots before pulling the keys from his pocket. “Would you mind terribly if I grabbed one or two of your ‘world-famous’ tacos while I am here? Your useless brother practically begged me to pick some up.” His tone was devoid of any real venom as he spoke about his fiancee, and Blue beamed up at him. 

 

“Of course! In fact, why don’t you go wash your hands and stay for dinner? You can bring back the leftovers, so that way they will be at their freshest!”

 

“Oh, I don’t know--”

 

“I insist!” Blue exclaimed, star-shaped eyelights shining brightly. His voice had risen in his excitement, and it seemed to prompt some motion from the lump of blankets on the sofa, drawing Fell’s gaze. 

 

Over the last several years, it had become increasingly common to find his brother sound asleep in the oddest of places. Sitting at his sentry station, sprawled sideways across the kitchen table, even, once, up in a tree for no good reason at all. So it was, really, anything but unusual or strange to see Red asleep on the couch. 

 

What  _ was _ unusual was the fact that he seemed to have duplicated in his sleep. 

 

Sans was snoring softly, his head tucked up under Red’s chin and the other’s arms wrapped tightly around him, holding him closely as though afraid he would wake to find them empty. Their chests rose and fell in unison, and Fell didn’t think he’d ever seen Red so still while he was asleep. 

 

They were both entirely dead to the world, a fluffy blanket covering them from the waist down. They were completely wrapped up in one another, the position so obviously loving and intimate that Fell could feel himself flushing, wondering if he should even be allowed to see them, or if he was intruding in on something private and wholesome. 

 

He turned back to Blue, trying not to feel insulted by the fact that Red hadn’t told him that he was in a relationship when it was this obvious. Was it because he thought Fell would disapprove? 

 

Sure, he complained about his brother’s counterpart often enough, but he had his own lazy lover; and it wasn’t as though he would ever fight against any happiness his brother could find.

 

“How long has that been going on?” he asked quietly, turning away as he struggled to find an explanation that didn’t mean he’d been imagining any progress he’d made with Red. 

 

“Only since last night,” answered Blue, and Fell snorted as he imagined how Blue would know the exactly timeline. He opened his mouth to make a comment that he was pretty sure would have the other kicking him out on his ass, tacos be damned, but he was brought up short by the expression on Blue’s face. 

 

He was watching the two on the couch with something unidentifiable in his eyes, a small smile curving the edge of his mouth. 

 

Fell couldn’t dislodge the feeling that he was missing something.

 

Before he could ask, Blue gestured to the bathroom, smiling up at him. “Feel free to wash up! I need to go finish up dinner!”

 

When Fell returned to the living room, it was to quiet giggles, exaggerated snoring coming from the now blanket-covered lump that was probably Sans. 

 

Red was currently trying to push the other skeleton off of him, laughing every time the other just rolled right back to where he had been. "Get off, ya big lump, I gotta go change."

 

Sans grumbled, apparently still somewhat asleep (or maybe just faking it), and only seemed to clutch tighter to the other. "Nah...Too comfy." he mumbled as he stuck his face out of the blanket only to bury it into Red’s shirt, and Fell could see his grin pressed up against the cloth. Then he raised his head, looking Red in the eye. "Also, you smell nice. It just makes  _ scents _ for me to stay right here forever." he said before burrowing back into the other.

 

Red snorted loudly at the stupid pun, trying to dislodge him again before seeming to give up, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands into the air. "Blue!"

 

There was the sound of clattering from the kitchen, undoubtedly the sounds of Blue preparing dinner. "Yes, Red?" came the shouted reply.

 

"Come rescue me from this terrifying skeleton monster, please!"

 

Fell snorted loudly at that, drawing his brother's attention. Red's eyes widened and a dark blush bloomed across his face. "H-hey Boss...How long have you been standing there?"

 

Sans's head popped up, and Fell could see dark blue covering his cheekbones as they made momentary eye contact.

 

"Long enough for you to have thoroughly embarrassed yourself." Fell said, trying not to grin at how flustered the two were.

 

"Oh, stop teasing them, Fell." came Blue's bright voice from the doorway. "Can the 'terrifying skeleton monster' come help me in here? I need some vegetables chopped."

 

"Sure thing, Blue!" came the immediate reply as Sans scrambled off of Red and practically ran into the kitchen. Fell's eyes followed him, fairly certain that was the most excited about work the other had ever been, before he looked back at his still-flushing brother.

 

Red had sat up and was folding up the blanket, apparently trying not to make eye contact as his blush began to fade slightly. "What're you doing here?" he finally asked, though not unkindly.

 

Fell made his way to the couch, sitting lightly beside Red as he finished folding. "I dropped off your lab keys and Blue invited me to stay for dinner." he answered, then, more quietly, "I'm glad you're happy. It's been a long time since I've seen you smile like that."

 

Red glanced up at him in shock, but before he could say anything, there was a loud crash from the kitchen, followed by a lot of laughter. Red flinched, looking up at the doorway, then stood quickly, looking like he was very grateful for the excuse not to continue the conversation. "I should go see--" he started, but Fell waved a hand, cutting him off.

 

"You said you had to change, right? Go ahead, I'll go see what's wrong." he said, standing up and beginning to make his way towards the kitchen. Red didn't move for a moment, then Fell heard him sigh quietly and start up the steps to his room.

 

He looked around the edge of the doorway, and saw Blue picking up an empty pan, seeming to be recovering from the loud noise and the surprise of suddenly dropping something so heavy.

 

While he was thus distracted, Sans reached from his place at the cutting board to steal some of the cooking meat, popping it into his mouth before Blue could stop him.

 

"Hey!" Blue said, giggling slightly. Neither of them seemed to have noticed his presence in the kitchen, and Fell found himself preferring it that way. It felt like he was missing something here, the atmosphere between the two seeming to be...different than he would have expected.

 

"What?" Sans said, his voice laced with false innocence. "I didn't do anything!"

 

"I saw you!" Blue laughed, walking back over to the stove and setting down the empty pan before swatting Sans on the shoulder. Sans grabbed the hand and pulled him closer, causing Blue to stumble slightly and allowing Sans to wrap him up in a hug, still grinning at him like the cat that ate the canary.

 

"What? Me eating your mea--"

 

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Sans!" Blue cried, trying to push the other away despite the large smile across his face.

 

Sans just pulled him closer, planting a semi-chaste kiss on his teeth before saying, "Aw, come on, you know you love--"

 

"What. The. Fuck?"

 

They both jumped violently before swinging around to look at him, looking shocked. They kept holding onto each other, and there was nothing even  _ approaching _ guilt on their faces, which just pissed Fell off all the more. 

 

Blue frowned, finally letting go of Sans to put his hands on his hips. “Fell! You scared me! And please watch your language!”

 

Fell just stared at him, completely flabbergasted. Did he somehow not realize the position they were in? There was no way. Stretch may think of his older brother as a child, for whatever reason, but Blue was an adult. He  _ had  _ realize that what Fell had just walked in on was damning. “I will  _ not _ ‘watch my language’! You don’t get to act all innocent after that...that little…” He threw his hands up in frustration. Red didn’t fucking deserve this betrayal. Weren’t these two supposed to be his best friends?

 

Sans’ eyes widened in understanding, and he took a step towards Fell, his hands out in a placating gesture. “Hang on, this isn’t what you think--”

 

“How the hell is this anything else? What, is  _ kissing _ just a sign of friendship in your backwards-ass worlds? I suppose if you fucked behind my brother’s back, too, that would just be a fun little game, wouldn’t it?!” Fell hadn’t been this angry in a long time. He’d gotten his hopes up out there, that Red had  _ finally _ found happiness, that he wouldn’t have to feel so damn guilty about finding his own. 

 

Of course his useless older brother would pick the one damn person in this sugar-coated joke of a universe with enough backbone to tear that apart. 

 

Blue spoke up now, looking worried. "Fell, please just--"

 

Fell snarled, cutting him off right at the start. Blue looked vaguely affronted, taking a step back and crossing his arms, but he maintained eye contact, opening his mouth to speak again just as Red walked into the kitchen. 

 

He came to an abrupt stop in the doorway as he took in the atmosphere in the room. There was an overwhelming silence as they all turned to look at him, and he was tempted to just back away slowly. Instead, he turned to look at Blue and Sans, who both looked exasperated, with a question in his eyes. 

 

Sans sighed, then said, “He saw us kissing and now he won’t listen to reason.”

 

Red snorted, and Fell narrowed his eyes, confused. 

 

“Well, screw you Blue, I guess it’s your turn to be the homewrecker,” Red said, winking at his alternates. Sans’ face lit up in a blush as Red frowned suddenly. “Wait, why does everyone always assume  _ I’m _ the one getting cheated on?”

 

Sans opened his mouth, the snark of what he was planning to say practically reverberating around the room before Blue smacked him on the arm. “Sans, don’t you dare--”

 

“Should I be heartbroken right now?” Red asked, throwing his hand over his forehead in his most dramatic pose before shouting, “How could you?!”

 

Sans snorted, and Red pushed up off the wall to approach the other two, very fake-sounding sobs coming out of his mouth. "Betrayal! Sadness! Jealousy!" he exclaimed, stomping in circles around the other two.

 

"Oh my god, Red--" Blue tried, reaching out and grabbing Red by the arm.

 

"Bitterness!"

 

"Stop!" Blue said, but he was giggling. "First of all, you can't just shout out the emotion you're supposed to be feeling, that's not--"

 

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" Fell shouted.

 

Three pairs of eyes turned towards him at once, amusement fading into a mixture of confusion and resignation.

 

"Red, how can you be joking about this? These mother _ fuckers _ ," Fell shouted, putting emphasis on the swear word and glaring directly at Blue as though daring him to say anything about it, "have done something... _ unforgivable _ , and you're acting like an idiot!"

 

There was a long, uncomfortable silence before Sans spoke up. "Fell, we actually--"

 

"Shut. Up." He growled, shifting his glare from Blue to Red's supposed boyfriend. "How could you possibly do something like this to him? My brother is one of the most loyal people you will ever meet! He doesn't deserve this bullshit! And just because he can't confront this doesn't mean I won't for him!"

 

Before Fell could say anything else or summon an attack to dust the traitorous fuckers, a hand was placed gently on his arm. "Boss," started Red, a smile on his face like Fell hadn't seen in a long time. "Thank you for saying that, but I think there's been a misunderstanding."

 

~~~

 

Blue smiled to himself as he listened to the laughter drifting down the stairs. He’d made the mistake of sending Sans and Red upstairs to put away the laundry by themselves while he did the dishes, his mind too occupied to remember the last time he had trusted Sans with the task of putting socks in their proper places. He’d started up the stairs to help them, only to be brought up short by the sound of their enjoyment. 

 

He was sure it was being sparked by some sort of awful joke, or a barrage of puns he would secretly love to be privy to, but it still filled his soul with joy to hear the two of them so happy. Just a few weeks earlier, either of them being truly, consistently happy had seemed like a far off dream. 

 

But now…

 

His smile grew, and he shook his head fondly as he started up the stairs. Where would any of them be if none of this had happened, himself included? He wasn’t sure he really wanted to think about it. 

 

He really was the luckiest skeleton in the underground, wasn’t he?

 

"--what she said!" Sans was saying as Blue reached the door to the bedroom they all seemed to be sharing nowadays, which had originally belonged to Blue. Red laughed loudly again, and Blue heard a muffled thump that he was pretty sure meant a pillow had been thrown at Sans's head.

 

"That one was awful, man. I can't believe you've stooped so low."

 

"Hey, that's not low! These kinds of jokes are the highest form of wit!"

 

Red snorted loudly and Blue heard the sound of a drawer opening and shutting. "The highest form of wit? Really? You must be the highest form of whatever the hell you are if you really think that's true."

 

Blue heard Sans cross the room and open another drawer as he said "Okay, maybe not the absolute highest. I'm reserving that spot for 'your mom' jokes."

 

Red snorted again, and there was silence for a while, accompanied by some shuffling. Blue cracked the door open and looked towards the dresser at them. Red was watching amusedly as Sans attempted to stuff a large amount of socks into too small of a drawer.

 

"I'm pretty sure that's not going to fit, moron," Red chuckled.

 

Blue sighed and opened the door, crossing the room quietly to help Sans. As he walked, Sans's head raised slowly and he grinned at Red, socks still in his hands.

 

Red's eyes got wide, and he started grinning, despite the fact that he seemed to be trying to hide it. "Don't you fuckin' dare, Sans."

 

Sans kept grinning as he said "Thaaaat's what she--"

 

He was cut off by Blue taking the socks out of his hands and opening the drawer they actually belonged in. When Blue looked back up, he was surprised to see a cyan blush lighting up Sans's face. Blue gave him a questioning sort of look, and Sans just blushed harder and snuck a look at Red, who seemed very amused.

 

"What were you saying, Sans?" Blue asked innocently.

 

"Yeah, Sans, what were you going to say? Feel free to explain the context. Or I can, if you'd rather we went with that," Red said, no small amount of smug amusement in his tone. Blue looked between them, false confusion in his expression.

 

"I...uh...I was just...talkin' to Red...'bout some stuff..." Sans mumbled, trailing off into incoherency and shoving his now-empty hands into his sweatshirt pockets.

 

Blue smiled sweetly, inwardly amused by the whole situation. How innocent did they think he was? "Oh! Were you two telling lame jokes again?"

 

Sans started sputtering indignantly as Red snorted with repressed laughter. "They are not lame! It's a classic!"

 

Red grinned smugly as he said, "That doesn't mean it's not lame..."

 

"Yeah, well, your mom is lame."

 

"... Dude."

 

"What? I told you before--"

 

Blue tuned them out with a shake of his head and set about checking that they'd actually put the clothes away on the right places. They seemed to have been fine for the most part, except that Sans seemed to have been shoving some of Red’s socks into Blue’s pants drawer. Blue sighed and began tossing them back into the basket to be relocated to the proper dresser when he heard his name and turned to them. "Hm?" he asked, not having heard any of the context.

 

"--Blue said he doesn't want those jokes in the house, Red."

 

"Well then how about I drop-kick you out the window since you were the one tellin' em?"

 

It seemed to be light-hearted banter, but it still seemed like the kind of thing that could evolve into a pun war unless someone put a stop to it, and those didn’t tend to end until Blue managed to lock one of them in the basement. Blue stood up. "Guys--"

 

"I would absolutely  _ love  _ to see you try to kick me out a window. I'm Classic Sans, bitch!"

 

"Have you fuckin'  _ seen  _ UnderFell--"

 

"Sans! Red! Language!" Blue shouted, finally catching their attention. He put his hands on his hips and gave them reprimanding looks.

 

They shuffled their feet contritely and gave each other sidelong glances.

 

Red finally spoke up "Sorry, Blue, Sans was just--"

 

"Doing nothing at all." Sans interrupted, flipping Red off when he thought Blue wasn't paying attention. 

 

Blue sighed. Honestly, you’d think he was supposed to be their parent. "Sans, come on. Don’t be rude.” Sans didn't look particularly sorry, but Blue let it pass. He opened his mouth, about to tell them that they needed to take their laundry into their own rooms when Red piped up.

 

"It's alright, Sans. Blue can handle an awful lot." There was something in his voice that made Blue think he was up to something, and it only took him a moment before he figured out what, trying to hold back a snicker.

 

Sans froze for a second before ever-so-slowly turning a glare on the larger of his boyfriends. The edge of Sans' mouth seemed to be twitching, as though he were repressing something.

 

"Red, I will end you."

 

"What? Is this too much for you to handle? Just say the word and I'll take it down a size."

 

Sans opened his mouth angrily, the look on his face the epitome of 'screw it', but he was cut off by a now openly grinning Blue.

 

"That's what she said!"

 

Sans and Red both turned to Blue in surprise, and he met their shocked looks with as saucy of a wink as he could muster, then stood and walked out of the room, calling over his shoulder. "I'm going to go put the movie in! You guys should probably go put your laundry in your own dressers. Feel free to join me when you've put away the basket!"

 

~~~

 

Sans blinked awake to the glow of the TV and an empty lap. His tired brain didn't make the connection for why that seemed so strange until he went to rub his eye sockets and encountered a sticky note that had been stuck solidly to his forehead. He pulled it off blearily, having to read through it at least four times before the words meant anything to him.

 

_ You fell asleep and I was tired so I went to bed, I tried to carry you upstairs but I couldn't. If you wake up, come upstairs! I love you! _

 

He let out a long sigh, a soft smile lighting up his face as he pictured Blue trying to carry him upstairs, then he stood and stretched, his spine popping. He decided against taking a shortcut directly upstairs, in fear of waking the others, electing instead to make the harrowing journey up the stairs and down the hall. When he reached their bedroom door, he turned the handle slowly and eased it open, smiling wider at the sight that greeted him.

 

Red and Blue were sound asleep, Red snoring softly. Blue was tucked into Red's chest, and Red had his arms wrapped tightly around the other, holding him as though he was something infinitely precious. Well, for once, it seemed that Red was right.

 

Sans crossed the room silently, and when he reached the bed, he planted a kiss on Blue's temple before going to the other side and crawling into the bed next to Red. He took his hoodie off and threw it in the general direction of the laundry basket before laying down and wrapping an arm around the both of them, curling into Red's side.

 

Red's breathing changed and his body shifted, turning more towards Sans and clunking their heads together accidentally. Sans, trying to quiet his giggles, rubbed at his head where it'd been knocked against Red's. Then he sighed contentedly and relaxed, letting his eyes fall shut and his mind wander as he slowly fell asleep.

 

~~~

 

Red’s birthday had never really been something to celebrate. In a world where the air was sometimes so thick with dust you would choke on it, parties were an idea only considered by the king and those with a death wish. It came every year, like most birthdays tend to, but he did his best to ignore it. He would have preferred they forget the day altogether, but Fell had always done something to celebrate the occasion. He’d always said that he was celebrating one year closer to Red’s death, to which Red responded that all he’d have to do to speed that up was give him back the cigarettes he’d confiscated.

 

Birthdays weren’t quite  _ that _ important to the Great and Terrible Papyrus. 

 

All this aside, it wasn’t really much of a surprise that on his first birthday that wasn’t spent living with his brother, he forgot about the day altogether. 

 

It started off like any other. He woke up with Sans half wrapped around him, one hand having managed to shove itself between Red’s radius and ulna, with the sounds of Blue making breakfast echoing in through the open door. He took a deep breath in, trying to identify what it was that Blue was making. There was...bacon? Was that bacon? He had no idea, but the late night they had spent watching Chopped made him sniff the air again, grinning to himself as he BS’d his way through a dish description. 

 

_ Ah, yes, here we have the deliciously greasy meat strips with the scrambled birth sacs of the unborn… _

 

He snickered to himself, hoping that it really was bacon and eggs so that he could irritate Blue by calling it that when he got downstairs.

Reaching down, he carefully detached Sans’ hand from his arm, rolling back over to wrap him up in his arms and tug him close. After a moment of contemplation, he shifted, moving himself down so that it was his head tucked into Sans’ chest. Breathing in deeply again, he grinned to himself, feeling Sans’ arms wrapping around him subconsciously. Fuck, he had no idea how a guy who always seemed to have ketchup stains on his jacket smelled so goddamn  _ good _ . Maybe it was a Sans thing. He’d have to ask Blue if he could smell him, too, to confirm the theory. Right after he made that joke from earlier. He snickered to himself again. Why the fuck did Blue put up with his shit anymore?

 

He let his eyes drift shut, on the verge of falling back to sleep.

 

Of course, sleep could never last with the Sansational Blue anywhere in the vicinity. Red was jerked out of the beginnings of a pretty good dream when something landed on him quite suddenly, almost knocking the breath out of him. Sans woke at the same time, swearing under his breath and his eye lighting up for a split second before he realized what was happening.

 

Red opened his eyes as slowly as he could, turning to face their attacker with a look on his face that would have made any lesser monster turn tail and run, but just made the skeleton on top of them chuckle and peck a kiss onto his forehead.

 

Blue cuddled down into them, covering them both in kisses and only responding to their tired groans with exclamations about the magnificent breakfast that awaited them downstairs and how they needed to get up and greet the day.

 

Sans rolled over, curling up just enough so that he could bury his head into Red's chest and mumble something that neither of them could understand, but Red knew was probably not complimentary. Then he gently pushed Blue off and sat up, accepting the inevitable. Blue tried to sit up too, but Red pulled him back down and planted a solid kiss on his mouth before flicking him on the forehead, murmuring, "What did we agree about the whole 'jumping on us while we're sleeping' thing?".

 

Blue grinned, completely unabashed. "To not to. But you won't wake up otherwise, and besides, I love surprise cuddles! And you know that you do too!"

 

Sans made a vaguely sarcastic noise from the direction of the closet, and Red agreed with him. But he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, even as he said, "Still, Blue, it does kinda hurt."

 

Blue rolled over, clapping a hand to the place where his soul was hidden under his shirt. “I’ll tell you what hurts, Red--”

 

“Your face?” Red responded as he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and turning back to wink at the other. Blue had a hilariously confused look on his face, stopped in the middle of his dramatic speech as he was, and Red just snickered as he stood, crossing the room to the closet and peeking around the edge of the door.

 

“We have the same face!” Blue called after him, and Red snickered again, drawing Sans’ attention. 

 

The other had stripped off his shirt, ready to change into something fresh for the day. It’d become a habit for both of them to improve their hygiene since Blue had threatened never to touch them again if they didn’t, and Red had to say, he was certainly okay with Sans having to change his clothes every single day. 

 

In response to the lecherous grin he was receiving from his boyfriend, Sans winked saucily, picking up the shirt he was planning to wear and swinging it on one finger. “Well _ hello  _ there, sailor!”

 

Red gave a snort, reaching past the other to dig around in his own dresser, coming up with a red sweatshirt and one of the six pairs of black-and-yellow basketball shorts he owned. “Well that is just inappropriate!” he exclaimed in a passable imitation of Blue’s voice, echoing an oft-repeated phrase that always served to irritate both of them. 

 

Sure enough, Blue let out a muffled groan, and Sans did his best to maintain a serious face, holding in his laughter. Chuckling, Red left the closet, flopping down to sit on the edge of the bed and groaning loudly. “I don’t fucking  _ wanna _ get dressed, it’s too hard!” He flopped back on the bed, giving Blue a pleading glance and making grabby hands at him. “Blue, can you take my clothes off for me?”

 

Blue stood, very calmly, then seized a handful of the sheets, throwing them over Red’s face and topping it off with a pillow, which he chucked a little harder than was probably necessary. 

 

Sans burst into laughter, and Red heard him cross the room to Blue. Wriggling as best he could in his blanket cocoon, Red managed to work his boxers down over his hips, prompting Blue to throw more blankets at him. 

 

“Fuckin’ exhibitionist!” Sans called from somewhere near the door, and Red laughed loudly as he heard Blue reprimand him for the language. 

 

Quickly escaping his blanket prison, Red dressed quickly and headed downstairs, following the amazing smell of what he was now fairly certain was bacon into the kitchen. When he entered, Blue handed him his heaping plate with a smile that quickly turned into an eye-roll as Red made the joke he’d been planning since earlier that morning. 

 

“Red, please do not use the word ‘sacs’ to describe anything I’ve cooked, ever again.”

 

Sans, who had been staring into the distance at the table and probably tuning them out, looked up at that, looking confused. “Uh…”

 

“Don’t ask,” Blue quickly responded, taking a seat at the table and ignoring Red’s laughter. 

 

They ate quietly for a few minutes, and then Blue broke the silence with an exclaimed "Oh! Hang on, I need to ask you guys something!" Then he stood up quickly and disappeared from the room.

Red looked at Sans, but he just shrugged, and then Blue was back. He had the wall calendar with him, which meant he was going to do some scheduling.

 

Oh, joy.  _ Scheduling. _

 

Blue was, if nothing else, a monster of routine. He planned out every event in advance, carefully copying down the details onto the much-mocked calendar that hung by the front door, and if something was not written on the calendar, Blue would  _ not _ be present. Both Red and Sans were used to their own brothers being a bit...focused on their planning, but neither of them had been anywhere near prepared for the pure excitement and joy that was Blue’s  _ scheduling _ .

 

He sat in front of them, setting down the calendar and taking out a pen from who knows where, carefully crossing out Friday so that the calendar was up to date. Then he turned his attention to the next Monday and said, “I know that both of you forget to ever write anything on the calendar, but do you know of anything that you’re supposed to be doing on Monday night?”

 

"Nope." said Sans, his voice full of sarcastic enthusiasm, at the same time that Red mumbled around a mouthful of eggs, "I don't really do anything, ever, so..."

 

"Great!" Blue exclaimed. "Then you'd both be available to go visit Papy and Fell? They've invited us over for dinner that night."

 

"Only if the great calendar demands it of us."

 

"We are yours to command, O merciful calendar."

 

Blue studiously ignored them and wrote down the details for the dinner, and Sans and Red traded snarky grins.

 

Red's gaze drifted down to the  _ all-powerful  _ calendar, and his eyes caught on today’s date. Wait...

He swallowed what was in his mouth, then leaned forward, getting a better look in case he was just reading it wrong. “Oh.” he said aloud as his observation was confirmed.

 

Blue glanced up at him from his writing, one brow raised. “If you’re about to make another joke about the calendar, you can go upstairs and--”

 

“No…” Red said, waving him off before he stuffed another bite in his mouth. “No, it’s just that I’m getting older. It’s fuckin’ weird.”

 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Blue said, wrinkling his nose, but Sans’ eyes were narrowed, watching Red. 

 

“What do you mean, you’re ‘getting older’?”

 

Red shrugged, swallowing again before replying, “I’m 27 now. It just feels weird is all.” Stuffing his last bite into his mouth, he stood and carried his plate to the sink. He would never in a million years admit it to Fell, but now that he was being forced to do his own dishes right when he was done with them, he was starting to enjoy having a clean kitchen--

 

“Wait, what?”

 

Red glanced over his shoulder as he turned on the water, frowning at the confusion in Sans’ voice. “I said, I’m--”

 

Sans shook his head, looking slightly frustrated with how dense Red was being. “I thought you were 26. What do you mean, you’re 27 ‘now’?”

 

“Oh!” Red said, understanding lighting up his eyelights as he rinsed his dish, turning to put it into the dishwasher as he said, “It’s my birthday today.”

 

“RED!?”

 

Jumping violently, Red shot Blue an accusing glance. “Holy hell, sweetheart, are you trying to break the eardrums I don’t even have?”

 

Blue jumped up from his seat, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at him. “Why didn’t you tell us your birthday was coming up?!” He paused, then dropped his hands from his hips, his entire posture shifting into dejected disappointment. “Why didn’t I figure out your birthday was coming up?”

 

“...Well, I mean, I forgot that my own birthday was today until I saw the date, so…”

 

“That’s no excuse!” Blue exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. “I’m your boyfriend, I should have known!”

 

“What about me, Blue? I didn’t know either.” Sans chimed in, looking guilty but obviously trying to assuage some of Blue’s guilt. 

 

Blue just waved a hand dismissively at him. “You’re not the organized one, you don’t have to feel as bad.”

 

Snorting with laughter, Red shook his head at the conversation, turning to close the dishwasher before returning his attention to the other two, who were now regarding him with matching expressions of deep thought. Sometimes he forgot that they were all the same person, but it was moments like this that it became very obvious. The only difference between their faces were the slightly dimmed cyan of Blue’s eyelights, and Red found himself grinning between them, a poorly-timed joke about twins on the tip of his unsummoned tongue. 

 

“So how are we celebrating, Red?” Sans asked, standing with his own empty plate and crossing the room to stand next to Red at the sink. 

 

Red furrowed his brow, letting himself be pushed lightly out of the way. “Well, I mean, that dinner with the Boss on Monday is probably--”

 

“No, with  _ us _ , dumbass.”

 

“Sans! Don’t be rude, it’s his birthday!”

 

There was a pause, then, “Does that mean I can call him a dumbass when it’s not his--”

 

“Sans!”

 

“Is that something that you normally do?” Red asked, interrupting Blue’s lecture. He could feel his face getting warm, embarrassed as he always was by his lack of understanding of a culture that wasn’t...murder.

 

Sans’ face cleared, his smirk replaced by an understanding sort of pity that kind of made Red want to smack him, despite knowing that he had the best of intentions. Blue looked confused for a moment, then he realized, his brows coming together sadly before he stood up, joining them by the sink and setting his plate inside before turning to face Red. “Yeah, it’s pretty normal for there to be a...date, or some sort of special thing for people that are in a relationship.” He smiled widely, grabbing Red’s hand and planting a kiss on his knuckles before dancing away, saying, “It’s so that we can celebrate with you, and make you feel special!”

 

At the kiss to his hand, Red growled playfully, making a grab for Blue and managing to bump into Sans hard enough to knock the plate out of his hands as the smaller skeleton evaded the weak attack. Sans gave Red a look, but he just smirked back, leaning back against the counter and folding his arms before what Blue had said clicked, and he snorted. “Why do I need to feel special? It’s just a birthday.”

 

“Well there’s your answer,” Sans said, picking the dish back up and putting it in the dishwasher before turning around, leaning back against the counter’s edge and grinning at Red. “It’s the anniversary of the day you were brought into the world. I never would know so many dark jokes if that hadn’t happened.” Pushing up off the counter, he crossed the room, pushing in his chair before pausing. Then, throwing it over his shoulder like it was an offhand thought, he said, “Oh, and that whole thing where you are one of the three most important people in my life, and we both love you and would like to celebrate the fact that you exist.”

 

Sans turned back to the chair, putting all of his attention to making sure that it was pushed in perfectly. Red could feel a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, and he glanced over at Blue, who was looking between them with heart-shaped eyelights. They made eye contact, and Red couldn’t help but smile at the expression on the other’s face. 

 

“Red,” said Blue, drawing Sans’ attention away from the already perfected chair. Red just grinned uncertainly, unsure how to respond to what they were saying. This was such a….strange concept, honestly. The fact that the day he was born was something to be  _ celebrated _ …

 

“I love you,” came Blue’s voice, his normal exuberance calmed into something far more serious, but still filled with all the joy that he always seemed to have for every aspect of life. “More than I could ever tell you. And I know that Sans does too. Even if you don’t want...well, even if you feel as though you might not deserve it, or you don’t understand why we would even  _ want _ to celebrate your whole existence, can we still--”

 

He was cut off as Red crossed to him in two steps, scooping him up into his arms and hugging him tightly. After a moment, he let go with one arm just long enough to gesture for Sans to join the hug, pulling him in close as soon as he was within reach. 

 

“I fucking love you two so goddamn much,” he murmured into the side of Sans’ skull, tightening his grip around Blue’s waist. 

  
There was a split second of pure, peaceful silence. 

 

“Red since it’s your birthday, I won’t make you put a dollar in the swear jar.”

 

Grinning, he pulled back, looking down at Blue roguishly. “Damn...I think I might like this whole birthday thing!”

 

~~~

 

Sans was stuck. 

 

He’d like to claim that he didn’t know how he got into this situation, but it was really because he was a complete dumbass. Completely aware of the fact that, for some reason, the basement of UnderSwap locked both ways, Sans had still, for some reason, gone in without a key, and,  _ for some reason _ , without telling anyone where he was going. 

 

He had locked himself into the only place in the entire underground that he couldn’t just shortcut out of, and now he had two choices: stay down here until he dusted, or bite the proverbial bullet and call Red to come bail him out. 

 

_ Welp. Looks like we’re starving to death, then. What a way to go.  _

 

He sighed loudly, sinking down to sit on the top step as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Red was going to be a real asshole about this, he just knew it. 

 

Accepting the inevitable, he entered Red’s name, putting the phone to the side of his skull as it rang. 

 

“Hullo?”

 

Red’s voice was scratchy, as though he’d just woken up.

 

_ Has he fallen asleep on the couch again? What a nerd, I would never fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the day. _

 

Snickering to himself at his private joke, Sans put on his biggest grin and straightening his spine, despite knowing that Red couldn’t actually see him. “Well hello there, handsome! How are you doing today?”

 

“...What’s going on?”

 

“Have I ever mentioned how much I love you? Because I just...it’s a lot, man. I love you a lot.”

Red sighed, and Sans imagined to himself that it was a happy sigh. Who  _ wouldn’t _ want to get a call like this in the middle of a nap? He was just the best boyfriend ever. “What do you want, Sans?”

 

“Aw, c’mon, can’t a guy just tell his--”

 

“Sans, so help me, I will hide every single one of your socks.”

 

_ This dick… _

 

“I’m stuck in the basement, I don’t suppose you want to come let me out?”

 

Red snorted loudly, then said, “Why would I do that? I was having a really great dream where you were locked in a basement and I didn’t have to see your face ever again.”

 

“Oh, man, fatal hit, 9999999, you’ve killed me.”

 

Red burst out laughing, and Sans grinned as he heard Red trying to muffle himself. He was pretty sure he would never get tired of hearing Red laugh. God, he hoped he never got tired of it.

 

Red cleared his throat loudly as he regained control of himself, and when he spoke, his voice was even gruffer than usual, as though he was trying to cover for his lapse of grumpiness. 

 

“How the hell did you even manage to lock yourself in the basement? Don’t you have a key?”

 

Sans rolled his eyes, then shot to his feet, letting his voice rise in excitement and sarcasm in equal measure as he said, “Thank you so much, I completely forgot that I can just  _ unlock the door! _ It’s a miracle, you’ve saved me!”

 

_ Click _ .

 

Sans burst into laughter as he realized that Red had just hung up on him. 

 

Unworried about his possible impending starvation, Sans leaned back against the locked door, waiting for the telltale crackle of magic that meant his knight in leather jacket had arrived. 

 

Sure enough, less than a minute went by before Red’s voice was ringing through the closed door. 

 

"Heya, Sansy. You in there?"

 

“Sansy’s not home, leave a message after the beep!”

 

“I don’t think that’s how doorbells work,” Red intoned as he pulled out his key, making Sans laugh. He backed away from the door as he heard the lock rattling, then the door flew open, revealing the grinning face of his savior. 

 

“My hero!” Sans exclaimed, but Red just rolled his eyes. He was still grinning, however, and Sans couldn’t help but return the expression. Then he leaned to one side, sticking out his hip and propping his head in one hand with his elbow against the door. “How could I  _ ever  _ repay you?”

 

Red just looked at him for a long moment, then gave a long-suffering sigh. “You can let me lock you back in the--”

 

“Boo!”

 

Sans jumped as a small pair of arms appeared to accompany the sudden voice, wrapping around Red’s waist from behind. He started to chuckle, leaning part of the way to be able to see Blue before he saw the look on Red’s face. 

 

“Blue--” he tried, but the smaller skeleton was already talking again, his skull appearing around the edge of Red’s shoulder as he smiled. 

 

“Did I get him?!”

 

Red's eyelights had disappeared completely, and his jaw had clenched, along with his hands. He looked completely frozen except for the panicked magic that was escaping from his soul through the collar of his shirt.

 

Sans raised his arms in a show of peace, recognizing the signs of one of Red’s episodes. It was easy to bring him down, usually all he needed was to be shown that he wasn’t in any danger and he would--

 

“I got Alphys earlier today, too!” Blue said happily, his arms tightening as he tucked his face into Red’s scapula. “And Papy was always a lot of fun to scare, he would--”

 

“Blue,  _ shut up _ !” Sans growled, keeping his attention firmly on Red. If he was careful, he could get him calmed, but with Blue holding onto him like that, he  _ had _ to feel trapped, and they would be lucky if he didn’t devolve into a full-blown panic attack.

 

Blue looked shocked for a moment, his eyes widening and his mouth dropping open before he snapped it closed. He looked like he might be about to cry as he let go of Red and took a few steps back, unsure what to say. Sans had never come  _ close _ to speaking to him like that before, but he couldn’t bring himself to worry about Blue’s feelings. He breathed a sigh of relief as Red seemed to relax, his breathing starting to slow and the minute shaking in his hands calming. 

After a moment, Sans stepped forward, reaching slowly for Red’s hands so that he would have time to snatch them away if he needed to. He didn’t move, eyelights beginning to clear as Sans carefully took hold of him, rubbing his thumbs calmingly over the phalanges. 

 

There was the sound of a slamming door, and Sans glanced over at the place where Blue had been a moment before. Then Red breathed in, hard, signalling his return to reality, and Sans shifted his focus back to where it needed to be right then. He would apologize to Blue later. He’d understand.

 

\---

 

Blue had his knees tucked tightly under his chin, listening carefully for any sign of the other two. He wiped away another stray tear, silently berating himself for being such a crybaby. He knew Sans hadn't meant it, that there had been something going on with Red, but it still  _ hurt _ , and that combined with his own worry and confusion was effectively overwhelming him. 

 

Had it been his fault? Was that all it had taken this time? How could he be so  _ stupid _ ? He should have known better than to sneak up on him, he should have known that Sans was just worried about Red, he shouldn’t have stomped off like a rebellious teenager, he should have figured out the problem and tried to help! What if Red attacked Sans? From what he'd told them, he didn't always know who was around him when he was in a full-blown panic attack, when he made it that far, he couldn’t fully control himself. He'd had to kill to survive in his world, what if he--

 

Blue cut himself off of that train of thought, letting out a muffled sob. Sans knew what he was doing, and all Blue could do now was to trust that he’d be fine. Sans had been dealing with his own panic attacks for a long time, he knew what to say to bring Red back if he’d tipped over the edge, he'd be okay, he'd be okay,  _ he'd be okay _ .

 

There was a crack from the direction of their bedroom that signified a shortcut had been taken, and Blue couldn't help the strangled gasp of relief that escaped him as he jumped off the couch and practically ran to the stairwell. He'd gone up three steps before he realized that even if Red was back, they still might not...want him. 

 

He came to an abrupt stop, caught in indecision as he listened to the sounds of their voices, muffled through the closed door. He stepped backwards down the stairs until he was on the ground floor, wringing his hands nervously and trying to decide what to do.

 

The choice was taken out of his hands as a moment later, the door opened and Sans eased through, shutting the door carefully before turning around and catching sight of Blue, who promptly burst into tears.

 

"Shit--" he heard Sans mumble, but he was crying too hard to say anything about the curse, not that he would have anyway. He...he wasn’t  _ completely _ ... he cried harder, covering his face with his hands as he turned away, trying to hide his face. This wasn’t about him, why was he being such a baby? A moment later, arms went around him and he heard Sans' voice saying, "It's okay, Blue, he's fine. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

 

Blue thought about fighting against the hug for a split second before he melted into the hug, crying into Sans’ shirt and trying to calm himself down. This  _ wasn’t about him _ , why couldn’t he control himself?!

 

"I'm s-so s-sorry!" he sobbed out, gripping onto Sans as though he were the last lifeline.

 

"Shh, it's okay, you didn't know, it's okay..."

 

Sans kept up his steady stream of reassurances, rubbing Blue’s back and pushing off his own tiredness. He could sleep later. They were more important.

 

~~~

 

Sans rolled over sleepily, blinking his eyes open. He winced at the bright light that immediately flooded his eye sockets, rubbing at them with one hand as he sat up.

 

He was alone in the room, but he could hear the sounds of Blue and Red talking and laughing downstairs and...music?

 

He got out of bed, dressing slowly before opening the bedroom door. He walked across the landing, peering over the balcony at his partners.

 

Red was sitting on the couch, legs crossed, elbows on his knees and hands supporting his chin. He was grinning unabashedly at Blue, who was in the center of the room, swaying and bouncing his arms along to the beat. It almost reminded Sans of dancing, except someone crappier. Not that he would ever in a million years tell Blue that.

 

"I think you need to move your feet a little more." Red commented, and Blue, of course, immediately balanced on one foot and raised the other one to kick at Red. It was a light enough kick that it never would have done damage if it connected, but it still came with enough momentum for Red to take advantage of it. He caught Blue's foot anyway, giving it a slight tug and causing the smaller skeleton to fall to the floor with a yelp.

 

"Red!" Blue protested, but he was laughing. Sans grinned, leaning further over the banister to watch them better. As far as he was concerned, there was no better wake-up entertainment than this.

 

As Blue tried to sit up, Red uncurled his legs and leaned forward, grabbing his counterpart and pulling him up and into his lap. Blue was still laughing, pushing away Red's face as he tried to kiss him, protesting that he was supposed to be training.

 

"Aw, come on, we all know this isn’t training. You’re just showing off." Red chuckled, still trying to pull his face closer.

 

"Hey, I vote he keeps showing off, I was enjoying the view!" called Sans from his place upstairs. He grinned wider when they both looked up at him, a blush blooming across Red's face. 

 

Blue got up, smacking Red lightly on the way, and ran up the stairs to him. "Sans! Come dance with me!" he said, holding his hand out to the other and bouncing excitedly. “Red just keeps saying his legs are broken, like a butthead.”

 

Sans heaved an exaggerated sigh, then gave Blue his hands like it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. Blue snorted, rolling his eyes jokingly, and dragged him down the stairs. When they arrived, Red was back in his earlier cross-legged position, staring at the both of them like a lovesick schoolgirl.

 

Sans had only a moment to snicker at the image that thought produced before Blue had whirled him around and was gripping onto his waist and one of his hands. "Put your other hand on my shoulder!" Blue exclaimed, getting enthusiastically into it, as he did with most things.

 

Sans smiled at him and obeyed, settling his hand very softly on the place where Blue's humerus met his clavicle. Blue tugged on him and he automatically took a step forward. Blue stepped back, seeming excited. "Great job, Sans! Just follow my lead!"

 

Blue pushed them to step back and forth, meeting the beat of the song, then very suddenly, he lifted the arm that held Sans' hand into the air and used the other to push him into a spin, giggling as he caught him when he came back around. Sans could hear Red snickering from the couch, and he flipped him off behind his back where Blue couldn’t see.

 

"That's my favorite thing to do!" Blue exclaimed, then he did it again, nearly jumping into the air with excitement.

 

Sans couldn't help the breathless laughter that escaped him as he almost stumbled, Blue barely catching him in time. Blue tried to tug him to step forward again, but Sans let go of his shoulder in favor of cupping Blue’s jaw, pulling him into a kiss. When they parted, Sans winked at him. "Well, that's mine." he said, as flirtatiously as he could manage through his laughter.

 

Blue huffed, but Sans could see the smile in his eyes. "You are insufferable." he said, dropping Sans's hands and mock-glaring at him before being interrupted by a wolf-whistle from Red. Confused, they both turned to look at him, and he grinned. 

 

“You guys should totally kiss again.”

 

Blue threw his arms in the air, turning away as he exclaimed, “You’re  _ both _ insufferable!” Shaking his head, he got back into the song, his back to them as he tried to match the movement of his hips to the beat.

 

Sans took a moment to appreciate the sight before he plopped down on the couch next to Red, who moved his arms, throwing one over Sans’ shoulders. After a moment or two, Sans laid down and put his head in Red’s lap, letting his eyes hood as he watched Blue's swaying.

 

"Sleep well?" Red asked quietly, smoothing one hand over the side of Sans’ head.

 

"Yeah. I feel a lot better now. I don't know what it is, I've just felt really worn out lately."

 

"Why? You don't do anything."

 

"I do more than you!"

 

Red snorted, moving his hand to rub at Sans's back as they continued watching Blue’s dancing. "How do you figure that?"

 

Sans grinned, looking up at him out of the corner of his eye. "I sleep on the far side of the bed from the door. That's like an extra six steps!"

 

Red let out a bark of laughter, apparently caught off-guard by that answer.

 

Blue turned back to look at them questioningly, but Red waved him back to what he was doing.

"You're such an ass." Red said under his breath, and Sans immediately raised his hand into the air, smirking. Red grabbed onto it and pulled it back down, gripping tightly. "Hey, no tattling. I can't afford to put any more money in the swear jar."

 

Sans chuckled and they stayed there for a second before Red's hold shifted and the restraint of his grip turned into something more like hand-holding. Sans shifted slightly so that he was looking up at Red. His darker counterpart was watching Blue happily, and Sans's soul warmed. He held tightly to Red's hand and closed his eyes, letting himself drift back off to sleep.

 

~~~

 

Red was humming again. He didn’t ever realize he was doing it, something that became very obvious from his reaction to it being pointed out. Blue smiled softly as he stirred the pot of soup on the stove.

 

“Do you think we should add some milk to that? To make it creamier and all that shi--stuff?”

 

Blue turned to see Red holding up a half-full carton. Lately, the edgier skeleton had taken to helping out in the kitchen, using the excuse that he wanted to spend time with Blue. At first, he’d believed it, but it was becoming obvious that he actually really enjoyed it. He was learning quickly, and he had actually made a few meals completely by himself at this point. That didn’t mean that he didn’t still have a lot to learn, but Blue was still very proud of him. It had taken a long time to get either of his partners to work up the motivation to do much of anything, but now that they were making the effort, he could just  _ see _ how much happier they both were.

 

In answer, Blue shook his head and said, “No, milk isn’t good for an upset stomach.” He stirred the soup some more, reaching up to turn down the heat just a bit.

 

Red frowned at him in confusion. “But we don’t even have stomachs. Isn’t milk supposed to be really good for skeletons or something?”

 

“Yes, in a normal situation. And it’s the taste, actually. You know Sans doesn’t like milk in the first place, there’s no reason to ruin his food with it.”

 

Red smirked and put the milk back in the fridge. “So you admit that milk ruins foods?”

 

Blue just rolled his eyes and focused back on the pot. “I think this is just about done. Can you grab me a bowl?”

 

A few minutes later, Blue was walking upstairs with Red close on his heels, a warm bowl of tomato soup held carefully in his hands. He grit his teeth in concentration, doing his best not to spill even a drop. When they reached the top of the stairs, Red ducked around him, quietly opening Sans’ bedroom door and holding it aside for Blue to come through.

 

Blue smiled his thanks to Red before calling out, “Sans, babe, I’m turning on the lights!” 

 

There was a loud groan from the direction of the bed as he did so; the blankets shifting so that Sans was completely buried beneath them. Blue grinned as Red shut the door behind them, and an arm poked out from the sheets to grab a pillow, chucking it in the general direction of the newcomers. 

 

“Hey, hey, watch out there, John Wayne, Blue’s got soup.”

 

“Soup?!” Sans’ head poked out from the top of the blankets, and Red immediately scooped the pillow up off of the floor, whipping it at the small amount of visible bone and causing Sans to yelp and duck back below the covers. “Stop tryna kill me, I’m  _ sick _ !” came a muffled voice.

 

“Sick of what, exactly?”

 

“Your dumb face, Red.”

 

“Be nice.” chided Blue, pulling up the chair they’d been keeping in the room for this very purpose. Red climbed into the bed, and after some prodding, he managed to convince Sans to sit up so that he could pull him into his lap. After some grumbling, the smaller relaxed back into him, pulling up the blankets so that he could snuggle into the warmth of both his partner and the covers. Blue couldn’t help his smile at the picture they made, wishing inwardly that he hadn’t left his phone downstairs. 

 

Scooping up a spoonful of soup, Blue held it towards Sans, giving him a warning glare as he tried to reach out and take it. 

 

“Sans, let us take care of you.”

 

Sans heaved a sigh, opening his mouth and allowing Blue to put the spoon inside. Red grinned at the resignation in his expression, wrapping his arms around the bottom of Sans’ ribcage and settling his chin on the other’s shoulder. Blue’s eyelights flashed into hearts for a split second as he watched them, ducking his head as he flushed brightly at what had just gone through his mind. He really hoped that hadn’t made it through the bond. He got another spoonful when Sans had finished the first, feeding him a little over half the bowl before he was waved off.

 

“I’m not feeling too great right now.” he mumbled, eyes hooding. “I think I’m done.” Red nodded, maneuvering them so that Sans was laying down again, still held tightly in the other’s arms. Blue carefully set the mostly-empty bowl on the bedside table before turning back to the others, kicking off his boots. As he lifted the covers to climb in beside them, Sans’ closed eyes cracked open, and he grimaced. “Please, no surprise cuddles, sweetheart. I’m really not feeling up to it.”

 

Blue chuckled as he curled up on the opposite side from Red, laying his head carefully on Sans’ chest and tangling their legs together. “How about some normal cuddles? I’ve been informed that I’m pretty good at those.”

 

Sans pretended to consider, turning his head so that his forehead was pressed against Blue’s. “I think I’ll need to check your references.”

 

Popping his head up from Sans’ other side, Red grinned and said, in his usual snarky tone, “You rang?”

  
  


Sans chuckled weakly before groaning again. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so much like shit.”

 

“I don’t think you’ve ever looked quite so much like shit, either, Sansy.”

 

“Blue, can you smack him for me?”

 

Red laughed loudly as Blue lifted an arm to try and obey, missing by mere inches as Red launched himself backwards and away from his waving hand. Suddenly, Red’s eyes flew wide, and then he disappeared. For a moment, it almost seemed like he had teleported away.

 

Then, there was a prolonged wheezing sound that came up from beside the bed, just out of Blue’s sight. Frowning, Blue sat up and tried to look over, Sans using his shoulder as a brace to pull himself up too. “Red, are you okay?”

 

The wheezing continued, interspersed with the occasional snort. Blue and Sans exchanged confused glances, then, at the same time, it clicked.

 

Red was  _ laughing _ . 

 

Neither of them had ever heard Red laugh quite like this before, and it seemed to be doing Sans a world of good, his whole face lighting up as he realized what was happening.

 

“Should I help him?” Blue asked, his own smile crossing his face.

 

“Nah…” Sans replied, lowering himself back into the mattress and flinging one arm across his eyes. “Leave him to suffer.”

 

“I h-heard that!” Red coughed out, still caught up in his laughing fit. Blue grinned at their antics, about to lay back down until he took another look at Sans’ face, a wonderful idea occurring to him. He leaned forward carefully, planting a short kiss on the other’s teeth before pulling away and grinning down at him. 

 

Sans’s eyes flew open, meeting Blue’s now unabashedly heart-shaped ones. He seemed to fumble for words for a moment, and Blue kissed him again before laying down and cuddling back up to him.

 

“Blue, you’re gonna get sick doing that.” Sans finally said just as Red finally got ahold of himself and climbed back up.

 

“Doing what?” Red asked, pausing in the motions of pulling back the sheets.

 

“He’s kissing me, he’s gonna--”

 

“Hey!” Red protested, mock-glaring at Blue, who just grinned back impishly, his head tucked back into Sans’ chest. Red cocked one brow, then leaned over, gripping Sans’ chin and kissing him hard. Sans looked a bit breathless as Red pulled away, unsure how to respond to their affection.

 

“There. Balance had been restored.” he said, throwing himself back into the sheets and maneuvering his arm under Sans’ shoulder blades.

 

Sans huffed, but a dark blush was starting to bloom across his face. “You two are so--”

 

“Devastatingly handsome?” offered Blue, causing Red to break out into laughter again.

 

Sans grinned, shaking his head slightly, then leaned his head into Red’s neck and wrapped an arm around Blue, holding him almost too close. “I love you both so goddamn much...” he murmured, closing his eyes.

 

~~~

 

For a large portion of his life, Blue had loved to insist that every day was an opportunity for something good. There was no such thing as a bad day, only a day where things seemed to be going wrong for the moment. He had a firm belief that everything in the world could get better with a little time and effort, and refused to write any day off as a Bad Day.

 

Today, Blue was having a Bad Day.

 

To start everything off, his alarm hadn’t gone off, so he’d woken up late. Then, he’d found out that he’d forgotten to start the dryer the night before, so his clothes were still wet. Then, not only out of uniform for the day, he’d also gotten to work late. It was only once he was already at his sentry station that he realized that he’d never woken up Red and Sans, so they were late too. He’d called in and secured them both a sick day, of course, his impression of Red’s voice scratching at his voice like it always did, but he still couldn’t help but feel guilty. Then, to calm himself down a bit, he’d decided to run some patrols. Of  _ course _ , he’d managed to trip and fall into an ice-cold stream, soaking his clothes with freezing water. On his way back to his station from his impromptu bath, he’d tripped over no less than seven rocks, falling into the snow each time and making himself even wetter and colder. 

 

On the way home, he could feel his grumpiness rising steadily. Why did he have to be the only one not to get teleportation powers? Sans and Red just used theirs to skip having to climb the stairs, but here he was, having to tromp through even more snow and get even more cold.

He was pretty sure that if his partners has messed up the house  _ at all _ , he was going to take his bad mood out on them. He sighed. He really didn’t want to do that.

 

Finally, home was in sight, and he jogged up the front steps. He fumbled excitedly for his keys, looking forward to getting inside and warming up, and,  _ of course _ , dropped them off the side of the steps and into a snowbank. For a moment, he just stared at the little hole they had made, then growled in frustration, dropping to his knees and shoving his arm into the snow to retrieve his keys, re-soaking his sleeves in the process. 

 

“ _ Fuck  _ me _ … _ ” he whispered to himself, practically shoving the keys through the lock and letting himself inside as quickly as he could. 

 

No, he didn’t like swearing. Yeah, he had a swear jar for Sans and Red. No, he would not be donating. It was just that kind of day.

 

~~~

 

“Sans!”

 

Huffing slightly in response to the summons, Sans lowered the front of his shirt. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down a bit. Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it what the fuck?

“Yeah?” he responded, trying not to let the panic in his mind seep into his voice.

 

“What the fuck is...cumin? Am I even sayin’ that right? C-U-M-I-N?”

 

He groaned aloud and turned around, unlocking the bathroom door and pushing it open slightly. “It’s like a spice I think! Check the  _ spice drawer? _ ” Wow. That was sarcastic. He tried to rein himself in a little bit.

 

There was a long pause, then Red yelled back, “Where the hell is the spice drawer?!”

 

Fuckin…

 

He stepped out of the bathroom, leaning over the railing to shout back, “Well how the hell am I supposed to know, just look in the--” He was cut off by the sight of Blue standing in the doorway, looking confused and with his clothes completely soaked. “Blue! You’re home!” he said, barely having to force a smile onto his face. It was a lot easier to be nice to someone you hadn’t been stuck inside with the whole day.

 

“Shit, Blue’s home?!” Red asked, and Sans rolled his eyes. No, no, Red. He’d just been welcoming the color blue into their house. It’s fine.

 

“Hi…” Blue said, and Red swore loudly as something crashed to the ground. Blue seemed to be considering if it was worth the stress to go see what he’d broken as Red yelled something that Sans didn’t even try to make out.

 

Sans descended the stairs carefully and crossed the room to Blue’s side, wrapping him up in a hug and burying his face in his collarbone.

 

“Don’t, don’t, I’m all wet, Sans,” he protested weakly, but he relaxed into him anyway, and Sans just let himself melt for a moment before stepping back and taking Blue’s hand in his own, gently starting to drag him up the stairs. 

 

“Blue, you must be freezing!”

 

~~~

 

“Sans, come on, let go of me,” Blue said, exasperated.

 

Sans just chuckled, tugging him up the stairs and to the bathroom, pushing the door open and practically shoving Blue through the door in front of him. Closing the door solidly behind them and still ignoring Blue’s protests, he turned to the tub, tossing aside the shower curtain and turning on the water before turning around and frowning. Blue was just standing there, staring at him with a soft smile, not entirely sure how he felt about  being manhandled, but appreciating the sentiment all the same. 

 

“Blue,” Sans said, putting his hands on his hips in a pose that was very unlike him. “Those clothes have got to be absolutely freezing.”

 

Blue glanced down at himself and his soaked pants and sleeves, then back up at Sans. “Yeah…?”

 

“Well? Take them off, I’ll go put them in the laundry!”

 

Blue huffed, putting his hands on his own hips before retorting, “Well, I can’t just  _ strip _ in front of you!”

 

“...Blue, it’s not like you’ve never stripped in front--”

 

“That was a totally different situation!” he protested, feeling his face heat up. 

 

Sans rolled his eyes, but he was laughing, and he shrugged as he walked to the door. “Seriously, sweetheart, it’s not like I haven’t seen it all before. Didn’t we have sex like two nights ago or something?”

 

“That’s not the point!”

 

“Alright, alright.” he grinned, opening the door and stepping through before pausing and shooting a wink over his shoulder. “As long as I get to cash in the stripping check later, I’m totally--”

 

Blue crossed the room and shut the door in his face, but he was smiling, entirely too used to these kinds of exchanges to be insulted by them. 

 

“I’ll take that as a yes!” Sans called through the door, and he snorted. “Toss your clothes out the door when you’re done with them!”

 

Blue peeled his soaked clothes from his freezing body, tossing them out the door (and hearing a somewhat satisfying "oomph!" as they hit Sans) before he settled into the bath. The warm water felt like heaven on his bones, and he could feel his frozen joints loosening up. He settled into the bubbles with a sigh, finally letting himself relax after his very Bad Day.

 

For once too lazy to even sit up, Blue popped one foot up out of the water, using it to turn off the water before sinking back into the suds. This must be that bubble bath Papyrus had sent Sans that smelled absolutely  _ heavenly _ . He took in a deep breath, letting himself bask in the peace and quiet before it was quite suddenly broken by a loud voice from downstairs. 

 

"You can't just rip the lettuce apart with your bare hands, Red, you have to, like, slice it or something."

 

"What if I've got a personal vendetta against the stuff and I wanna rip it apart with my bare hands?"

 

"Why do you have a personal vendetta against the lettuce?"

 

"I dunno, it's green, I don't like green things!"

 

"Unless it's mint chocolate chip nice-cream, right?"

 

"I'm sorry, do you want to cut the lettuce or do you wanna stick with burning the meat?"

 

"The meat is not burnt! It's supposed to look like that!"

 

"Sans, there are little black pieces in it!"

 

“How about you shut the fuck up and tear up your shitty lettuce?”

 

Blue snorted to himself, letting his head sink further into the water until he could no longer hear their voices. Peace and quiet might be a little harder to get than the bath.

 

\---

 

“How about you shut the fuck up and tear up your shitty lettuce?” Sans growled, turning off the stove and shoving the pan off the burner. He could feel the burn of tears in his eyes, and Red finally seemed to notice something was wrong, blinking and reaching out for him. Sans shrugged him off, stalking to the doorway and saying “Fuck yourself,” over his shoulder, causing Red to break out in surprised giggles. It was an oft-repeated joke in this household, but Sans still felt his soul lurch, that Red would  _ laugh _ at him right now.

 

He flipped him off, attempting to maintain some semblance of dignity, then promptly burst into tears, and Red’s eyes widened. “Uh...Sans, are you okay?” he asked quietly.

 

Sans glared at him for a moment before spinning around and stomping away, going up the stairs as quickly as he could and wiping angrily at his eyes before storming down the hallway to the bathroom door, then belatedly remembered that it was currently occupied.

 

Fuck it.

 

“Hey, Blue?” he asked.

 

There was a moment of silence, so he called him again, louder this time, and then his voice echoed through the door. “Yeah?” Sans was glad to hear that he sounded less tired, at least. By the looks of it, itd been a long day.

 

“Can I come in?” he asked, just loud enough for Blue to hear him.

 

“Sans! I'm still not dressed!”

 

Sans snorted, and he heard Blue huff loudly and dramatically. “Fine, just give me a sec. Count to 10 or something.”

 

Sans dutifully counted to about 9, then swung the door open and stepped through, just barely catching sight of the shower curtain swinging closed. He smiled for a moment, then shut and locked the door behind him and crossed the room, reaching into one of the drawers behind the sink and pulling out a bottle of Advil before staring at it regretfully and bursting into tears all over again. “Whoa! Sans!” He looked back to see Blue peeking around the shower curtain at him, looking worried. “Are you okay?”

 

Sans couldn't get himself to answer, instead sinking to the floor and burying his face in his hands after chucking the half-full bottle of medicine into the sink as hard as he could.

 

He heard Blue step out of the tub and wrap himself in a towel before crossing the room and kneeling in front of him. “Hey, Sans, if we’re out of Advil, we can always get some more, you don't have to--”

 

Sans shook his head violently, still beyond answering. Blue reached out for him, hesitating just before they came into contact. “Can I touch you?”

 

Sans nodded, and Blue wrapped him up in a hug. His bones were still warm from the water, and Sans pulled himself closer, seeking every scrap of comfort he could get. They just sat like that for a few minutes until Sans had managed to calm down, his sobs fading into quiet hiccups.

 

“Sans, what's going on?” Blue asked quietly, rubbing his back soothingly.

 

“Red’s an a-asshole,” Sans said sadly, and Blue looked down at him in surprise.

 

“Red did this to you?” Blue asked, sounding shocked. Red wasn’t usually  _ purposefully _ cruel..

.

Sans started to nod, then sighed and shook his head. “No, I-I guess not.” Then he burst into semi-hysterical laughter. “I mean, I guess he technically did, but it wasn't on purpose,”

 

Blue looked a little nervous about his emotional state, and Sans didn't miss the way he was looking into his eyelights as though searching for something. Sans reached up gently and took hold of Blue’s wrists, kissing his fingers before saying, “I am about the furthest thing from drunk right now, Blue.”

 

Blue still looked doubtful, and Sans sighed, trying to find the words to explain.

 

“I-I...I’m…”

 

Bue was watching him curiously, and it was all starting to feel like far too much again.

 

“I can't even take care of my f-fucking pet rock!” he finally wailed, burying his head back into Blue’s chest. Blue burst into startled giggles. “Honey, I feed the pet rock, it's okay. I don't think it's going to starve if that's what you're upset about!”

 

Blue’s attempt at humor fell flat as Sans continued to cry, and he sighed quietly.

 

“Sans, what's wrong?” he asked again.

 

His hands dropped to the hem of his shirt, hovering there for just a moment before he steeled his resolve, seizing it and lifting it far enough to expose the place where there should be nothing but empty spine. Instead, there was a summoned barrier of an ecto-stomach, glowing dimly in the soft light of the bathroom. 

 

Hovering inside, just below the base of Sans’ ribcage, was a floating inverted heart. 

 

A new soul.

 

Blue gasped, and Sans pulled away, letting his shirt drop and burying his face in his hands, preparing for the inevitable, for the disgust and disappointment that was sure to come. 

 

“Oh, Sans! Oh, this is wonderful! Is this why you were talking about your pet rock?”

 

Sans looked up in surprise at the happiness in Blue’s voice, and he nodded dumbly as he took in the sight of his partner, still wrapped in a towel, smiling from ear to ear, star-shaped eyelights practically shining with joy.

 

“Oh, Sans, it's okay! We’re all going to do it together, nobody has to be a perfect parent, we just have to be--!” His eyes grew impossibly brighter, and he clasped his hands in front of his chin. “Sans, I'm going to be a parent!”

 

His joy was infectious, and Sans found himself smiling along with him.

 

“Oh, Red is going to be so mad when he finds out you're the one carrying it, this is proof you have higher magic reserves than he does!”

 

Sans’ face fell when Red was mentioned, and Blue paused. “Was...Was Red not happy?” he asked, his expression shifting quickly into anger as he glanced back at the doorway. “Don't worry, Sans, I'll talk to--”

 

Sans reached out and grabbed his arms, bringing him up short. “I haven't told Red yet!” Blue stopped, looking down at him in confusion, and Sans sighed. “I only found out today and I was just...I was scared, and I-I didn't know how you guys would react, and I just… I wasn't even supposed to be in this relationship--”

 

Blue clapped a hand over his mouth, frowning at him. “Don't you ever say anything like that again, Sans. We both love you just as much as we love each other, and you know that very well!”

 

Sans’s eyes filled with tears, and he hung his head as Blue let him go. “I know. It's just hard to remember sometimes,” he whispered, not making eye contact.

 

Blue planted a soft kiss on his temple, then leaned back slightly. “You know we have to tell Red, right?”

 

Sans nodded, and Blue took that as a go-ahead and immediately stood and ripped the door open. “RED! GET UP HERE, QUICK! ITS SANS!” he yelled, then he turned back to where Sans was sitting.

 

“Was that really necessary?” he asked, grunting as Blue helped him stand up.

 

“It'll get him up here quicker, that's for sure!” the smaller chirped, wrapping the towel more snugly about himself and standing beside him.

 

Red appeared directly in front of the bathroom, magic flaring out of his eye. “Where’s the--” he was brought up short by the sight of them standing calmly in the bathroom, and he let his magic disperse, sighing. “Blue, you've gotta stop doing that.”

 

“I know! Sans is pregnant!”

 

“No, I don't think you understand, what if someday there's a real  _ wait what??? _ ”

 

Red looked completely shell-shocked, staring at each of them in turn before glancing down at where Sans’s soul lay hidden. Sans tried to contain the blush that lit up his face at the look on the other’s face. “I...You're what?”

 

Sans fidgeted for a moment, then lifted the front of the shirt again, showing off the tiny soulling.

Red’s eyes filled with tears when he saw it, and he immediately stepped forward and wrapped them both up into a hug, muffling himself on Sans’ shoulder.

 

Sans just stared at the display of emotion, not sure what to do. Blue was laughing happily, looking for all the world like this was the best day of his life, and Red was slowly trying to regain control of himself.

 

“Is…” Red sniffed slightly, loosening the hug slightly but not letting go of either of them. “Is this why you've been so pissy with me all day?”

 

Sans snorted and smacked him lightly on the side of the head. “Shut the fuck up.” he mumbled, and Red laughed tearily, grabbing him by the chin and planting a hard kiss on his mouth.

 

“Never.” he replied, giving them both one last hug before letting them go.

 

“Hey Red?” Blue started. Red looked over at him curiously. “Guess what this means?”

 

“I should probably stop wearing so much leather?”

 

“God, no,” said Sans as Blue opened his mouth to reply.

 

Red smirked at him as the other said, “He has higher magic reserves than you!”

 

Red froze, staring at Blue for a second before reaching out and grabbing them both by the hands, tugging them out the door to the sound of Blue's laughter. “Nope, I call bullshit, we’re trying this again!”

 

~~~

 

“Do I  _ have _ to go?”

 

Blue gave him a scandalized look, and Sans stifled a snicker, aware of how he looked at the moment. He had been laying on the couch watching TV while Red made him a mid-afternoon snack (who said being pregnant wasn’t fun sometimes?) when Blue had announced their impending departure, and he hadn’t bothered to actually turn around to talk to him. Instead, he pushed himself backwards, letting his head rest upside-down and his body arch halfway over the arm of the couch, his shirt riding up slightly and showing off the softly glowing ecto-form that he had to have summoned all the time now. Hey, there was nothing wrong with gathering a few pity points, was there?

 

Unfortunately, Blue was having none of it. He folded his arms, continuing to give him that look that normally brokered no argument. They stared each other down, Sans attempting to stifle the giggles that were threatening to make their way to the surface.

 

He heard Red come into the room before he came to an abrupt stop, probably looking between them and wondering what the fuck they were doing.

 

“Tell Sans he has to come to the party.”

 

Red sighed loudly, and Sans battled another round of hysteria.

 

“Sans, you have to come to the party.” Red’s voice couldn’t have been more monotone as he crossed the room to place the ketchup sandwich on Sans’ lap, his lack of interest in the argument very apparent. Sans felt his shirt being tugged down by careful fingers, and spared a smile at the other’s care, which Blue struggled not to return.

 

Sans picked up the sandwich blindly, trying to decide if it was worth it to keep eye contact and eat the sandwich upside down. “Tell Blue I’m pregnant and I don’t wanna.”

 

“He’s pregnant and he--”

 

“Red, please!” Blue said, snorting as he held out one hand in his direction. Red snickered and carefully pushed Sans’ legs out of the way before sitting down on the couch, picking up the remote and switching the channel. Blue sighed again and came closer to Sans, gently pushing him to sit up and eat before taking up the same stance in front of the couch where he could see him. “It’s your brother’s birthday party. You can’t just skip it.”

 

Sans swallowed his mouthful, glancing up and letting his eyelights blow out slightly and puffing out his cheeks to make himself look as cute as possible. Again, pity points. “But we’re gonna have dinner with him on his  _ actual _ birthday! This is just the dumb drinking party! I can’t even drink! He’ll understand!”

 

Blue raised a brow, then reached out and grabbed the plate out of Sans’ lap. He let out a yelp of surprise, making a grab for it and nearly falling off the couch before Red grabbed his arm and pulled him back on. “Careful, sweetheart, you don’t want to hurt yourself.”

 

Sans’ mouth opened and closed for a moment, then he frowned, folding his arms in a pout and glaring at Blue. “He stole my sandwich!”

 

“Yes, I did. You can have it back when you stand up and put your coat on. You too, Red, or I’m hiding your handcuffs.”

 

Grumbling, Red pushed himself to his feet, holding out a hand for Sans to take. He pouted for a moment longer, then took it, heaving himself up to stand like it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. Blue grumbled for a moment at the display, muttering something about “only three months” before he followed them to the door, still holding the sandwich.  

 

Red held out Sans’ coat, and he shrugged it on before making grabby hands at Blue, who sighed and handed the sandwich over, immediately grabbing his hood to stop him from shortcutting back onto the couch with his prize. Red snickered, then took hold of both of their arms. “Ready?”

 

Blue nodded, and Red dragged them all into the void, popping out a moment later in the middle of Papyrus’ living room.

 

Still pouting, Sans stomped over to the nearest couch, plopping down and finishing his sandwich grumpily and completely ignoring everyone else in the room. Red snickered, and Blue shot him a look.

 

“Hello, brother.” Fell appeared next to them, holding out a drink towards Red. Before he could say or do anything, Blue grabbed it out of the larger’s hands, tipping it back and chugging the contents. He winced slightly at the burn, and Red started snickering harder at the expression on his brother’s face.

 

“Hard day at the office, there, Blue-boy?”

 

Blue stuck his tongue out at his partner before spotting his brother and walking away without a word. Fell looked at Red in confusion, furthering his amusement.

 

“Is everything alright at home?” Fell asked, looking concerned.

 

Red was quick to reassure him, telling him about the nuisance Sans had been making of himself and prompting his brother to snort loudly, drawing several looks. They all still found it strange how much happier the captain had become over the past few years. Even Red himself sometimes found himself in awe of the change. No matter how fucking annoying he may be, Stretch really was a miracle worker when it came to Fell.

 

Lust walked out of the kitchen, Papyrus trailing behind him with a look of confusion and amusement on his face, a look that was common among those who attempted conversation with either of those brothers. He made an immediate beeline for his brother, giving him a careful hug and murmuring something quietly. Sans swallowed his pout, as he always did for his brother, and chatted back with him. Lust, about to walk in a different direction, paused, watching the exchange.

 

Red frowned slightly at him, following his gaze. Sans was smiling happily at his brother, and his joints were flushing slightly with blue magic, as they’d been doing lately when he got tired or emotional. Red felt a flutter of concern cross his soul, wondering what was wrong, and Sans seemed to feel something of it from his magic, glancing up and giving him a reassuring smile. Red returned it, about to return to his conversation with his brother when he noticed the look on Lust’s face.

 

Picking up a drink, Lust called to Sans, “Hey, heads up!” before tossing it in his direction. Sans reacted quickly, catching it without a second thought before he seemed to realize what it was and his eyes widened slightly. 

 

They’d agreed that they were going to keep this a secret from anyone but their brothers, just in case something went wrong. Blue had rightly said that it would be unthinkable to have to tell everyone all over again if the worst happened. 

 

But now Sans had a drink in his hand, and Lust’s loud-ass voice had caught the attention of a large portion of the party.

 

Sans coughed uncomfortably, passing the bottle from hand to hand for a moment before opening his mouth, probably to give some lame excuse about not being thirsty in a way that, being the awful liar that he was, would make everyone immediately suspicious. Before he could say anything, however, Blue appeared again, snatching the bottle out of his hands and continuing on as though nothing had happened, cracking it open as he went and ignoring the very amused looks both of his partners were giving him.

 

Lust folded his arms loosely, giving them all a knowing look. Red flipped him off subtly, and he heard Sans snort before turning back to his brother, returning to the conversation. Red excused himself to his own sibling and crossed the room, coming up beside Lust and touching him lightly on the shoulder to draw his attention away from Sans.

 

“We shoulda known you and your bro would be able to figure it out.”

 

Lust jumped slightly, glancing back at him for a split second before he looked back at Sans, suppressing a grin. “Honestly, it was only a matter of time. You three are so closely bonded that it’s almost sickening.”

 

Red followed his gaze just in time to see Papyrus stand up, bidding his brother goodbye and going to greet some newcomers. Blue almost immediately sat in Papyrus’ vacated seat, throwing his arm over Sans’ shoulders and pulling him in close. He said something quietly that made Sans laugh and relax back into him, the sandwich incident apparently forgotten. Blue planted a kiss on top of the other’s head and closed his eyes, his soul glowing brightly enough that Red could just barely see it through his shirt.

 

Red felt a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth as he watched them, aware of Lust grinning at him out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, I suppose we’re pretty close, aren’t we? Still, never thought something like this would ever happen to someone like me.”

 

Lust clapped him on the shoulder, beginning to walk away before Red stopped him. “Hey, don’t be spreadin’ this around town, alright? We’re keeping it secret for a bit, in case somethin’...y’know.”

Lust’s face darkened for a split second, brightening back into a knowing smile quickly enough that Red wasn’t sure he’d seen anything else at all.

 

“Of course. Wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

~~~

 

The stairs creaked loudly, and Sans froze, staring wide-eyed behind him as he tried to see if anyone had heard. No one came, and he breathed a sigh of relief, continuing his tip-toeing path down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

 

Not bothering to turn on a light, he snuck over to the fridge, pulling out one of the many containers of leftover taco meat and an overly-familiar yellow bottle. Sneaking back across the kitchen, he quietly opened the microwave and placed the container of meat inside before starting it up, heating the contents. 

 

“What are you doing down here?”

 

Sans yelped loudly, jumping about a foot in the air and spinning around to face the intruder, bottle  of mustard clutched tightly in one hand. 

 

Red was standing in the doorway, dressed in shorts and a tank top and looking more than a little rumpled, as though he’d just rolled out of bed. He paused in rubbing at his eye sockets, looking at Sans incredulously for a moment. 

 

“Uh…” he grinned widely before stepping forward, gently taking the bottle from Sans’ hand and setting it aside before reaching out to rub at his humeri, as though trying to warm him up. “Ya plannin’ to mustard a burglar to death? Because it would take a special kind of weak bastard to--”

 

“Oh, shut it,” Sans said, grinning lightly before turning around in his arms, stopping the microwave just before it went off and taking out the now-heated food. “Get me a fork, would you?”

 

He could feel more than hear Red laughing behind him, but, obligingly, he leaned over and opened the silverware drawer as Sans squirted a copious amount of mustard over the meat, pointedly ignoring the way the concoction smelled. Taking the fork from his still-laughing partner, he scooped up as big of a bite as he could fit, stuffing it into his mouth. 

 

As soon as the taste hit him, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he let out a noise somewhat reminiscent of moan, making Red laugh again. Sans finished chewing, then grinned. “To answer your question, I was hungry.” He took another bite, then looked up again, head tilted to one side. “Why are  _ you _ down here?”

 

“I’m getting into Blue’s chocolate stash.”

 

Sans choked on his next bite, eyes widening. “You found it again?!”

 

Red shrugged self-importantly. “Nothing can ever be truly hidden from the Magnificent Red.”

 

“You’re such a dork.”

 

“Yeah…” Red shrugged, grinning at him softly. “But you love me anyways, right?”

 

“Of course I do. Not as much as these fucking awful mustard cravings, though, these are awesome.”

 

“Better than ketchup, though, right?”

 

“I fucking take it back, tell me where the chocolate is and go the fuck back to bed.”

 

~~~

 

“What about ‘Haettenschweiler’?”

 

“No!”

 

“Aw, c’mon, Blue, that’s the perfect baby name--”

 

Sans grinned at Red from his place on the couch, Blue’s head in his lap while Red was sprawled on the floor, phone in front of his face as he browsed through font names. 

 

“Why does it even need to be a font?” Blue asked, frowning. Sans chuckled, already knowing Red’s answer from the last few times they’d had this argument. He reached down, idly smoothing his hand over the side of Blue’s head. 

 

“Because it’s tradition! Wing-Ding, Papyrus, Comic Sans...It’s just a thing!”

 

“A  _ stupid  _ thing!”

 

Sans’ summoned stomach was just barely starting to grow, the tiniest of bumps visible past his white T-shirt. Lately, Blue hadn’t seemed to be able to keep his hands off of it, and even now was no exception, despite the somewhat awkward position it put his arms in.

 

“It is not a stupid thing! Families do themes all the time!” Red huffed, propping himself up on one elbow and scrolling through his phone some more. “Like, how cool would it be to have a kid named Microgramma?”

 

Blue sighed loudly, his thumb rubbing in circles right where a human’s belly button would be. “That sounds like a radioactive disease.”

 

“Akzidenz-Grotesk?”

 

“Red!”

 

“Okay, okay,” he sighed, laying back down. “I’ll be serious.”

 

There was a moment of silence, and Sans relaxed back into the couch, closing his eyes and basking in the light touches and the warmth of the room. 

 

“Cheltenham?”

 

“That’s it, you’ve lost baby-naming privileges!”

 

“What?! You don’t get to ban me! I’m a baby-naming genius!”

 

“How are you in any way--”

 

Sans tuned them out, letting their voices fade down to an incoherent babble. It was so calm in his mind, peaceful and wonderful. He could feel himself relaxing, calming down and sinking into the couch cushions. 

 

He didn’t think he’d ever felt so…

 

_ Happy _ .

 

~~~

 

When Sans woke up, he wasn’t entirely sure what had roused him.  

 

The house was completely silent, save for the ticking of the clock and the soft breathing of his partners. He could feel the weight of an arm wrapped around him, holding him close to the slightly larger skeleton behind him, and Blue was huddled up into the front of Sans’ ribcage, tucked in as closely as he could possibly get. He cracked a sleepy smile, reaching out with the hand that wasn’t trapped under his body to cup Blue’s cheek. Ever since they’d found out about his pregnancy, they’d been sleeping with him tucked tightly in between them. It got a little annoying sometimes, with Blue being the restless sleeper that he was, but he knew it made them feel safer. It made him feel safer, too, to have them be so--

 

His body lurched as a spike of pain shot through him, and his eyes flew open the rest of the way. For a moment, he just lay there, the hand on Blue’s face deathly still as he tried to deny to himself where the pain had come from. 

 

Then it came again, and he sucked in a sharp breath, shooting up to sit as his hands went to his stomach. Nonononono…

 

He tried to scoot his pelvis back, so that he could sit up properly, so that he could take care of this, make this stop, but another burst of pain had him falling back, smacking his head on the headboard as he gasped in pain. He could feel hot tears gathering in his eyes, burning trails down his face as his hands hovered over his middle. The pain was coming in waves, the breaks between them becoming shorter and shorter, pulsing their way over the summoned flesh of his abdomen. 

 

“Sans...?”

 

He could feel someone, half-asleep, reaching for him, and he grabbed onto the hand, trying not to sob as he held on almost too tightly. Another pain hit, and he felt his body tense, beyond speaking as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

 

“Sans! Sans, are you okay?”

 

The fear was the worst part, he decided. It hurt,  _ God _ it hurt, but he could hear the fear in Red’s voice echoing the emotion that felt like it was choking him. He didn’t know what was happening, where this was coming from, but he knew that something was very,  _ very _ wrong. 

 

He felt Red moving beside him, sitting up and cupping his cheeks, and he reached up with shaking hands to grip loosely onto the other’s shirt. “R-red, I-I don’t know what’s h-happening--”

 

“Shh, sweetheart, it’s all gonna be okay,” he heard the other murmur, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that were still somehow spilling down Sans’ cheeks. He cracked his eyes open and saw Red kneeling over him, his eyes filled with the same fear that was coloring his voice, enough fear that Sans  _ knew _ he had to be lying. It wasn’t going to be okay, something was  _ wrong _ .

 

Red was shaking Blue awake, and while the other was distracted, Sans let go of the cloth he had been gripping so tightly, reaching down for the hem of his shirt and pulling it up just enough that he could see his summoned stomach. The dark blue flesh was pulsing slightly, the faint amount of light it was giving off fading a little with each passing moment. He could see the inverted heart of the little soulling, still tiny even though it had grown just enough for Sans’ stomach to have started to get rounder, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way it seemed to be flickering. 

 

What…

 

What had he done  _ wrong _ ?

 

There were hands on his face again, and he looked up and into the pretty blue eyelights of his other soulmate. “Sans, breathe,” Blue murmured. “Deep breaths, we’re calling the doctor, it’s okay. Just take deep breaths.” 

 

Blue breathed in deeply and audibly, coaxing Sans to do the same. In...out….in...out… Sans could feel himself calming, the shivers he hadn’t even known were wracking his body slowing until he was lying still. Another bout of pain rushed through him, worse this time, and he cried out, his fingers curling more tightly into the hem of his shirt. He could hear Red’s voice, speaking to someone on the phone, and he forced himself to focus on the tone of it. 

 

Blue kept up his deep breathing, but Sans could see his chest stuttering, holding back panicked tears. Sans was reminded, very suddenly, that this was not just his child. 

 

_ “Sans, I'm going to be a parent!” _

 

Before he could collapse back into sobs, Red was back, the phone still pressed to the side of his face. “Sans, it’s okay, there’s a doctor on the way, it’s all going to be okay.” He sounded more like he was reassuring himself than Sans, but he clung to the promise anyway. 

 

Maybe...maybe this was normal. Well, not normal, maybe, but...recoverable. Maybe the doctor could fix it and it would all be okay, and--

 

Another pain ripped through him, the worst he had felt yet, and his body curled in on itself as he screamed out in pain. He squeezed his eyes shut against it, his hands dropping to press against his middle, to reassure himself that it was still there, that his baby was still there.

 

Just before his fingers could make contact with the ectoflesh, there was a quiet  _ pop _ , and the stomach was gone. Blue liquid gushed over his fingers, and everyone in the room seemed to freeze. Sans’ eyes flew open, staring down at himself in horrified realization. 

 

The soulling was still there, nestled into the side of his pelvis. When it had been surrounded by his body, it had been impossible to tell what color it was, what color the magic that made up his baby’s soul was going to be. Now, as it sat out in the open air, their view unobstructed by anything at all, it was easy to see the rich, deep purple of the tiny inverted heart. 

 

Perseverance. 

 

Their child would never give up. Sans felt his soul swell, a split second of happiness cutting through the pain. Their baby had perseverance. 

 

Then, before any of them even had time to move, the color began to die away, fading into a light gray before their eyes. It only took the time from one breath to the next before nothing was left but a tiny pile of dust.

 

Sans had never seen a pile of dust that was so, so  _ small _ .

 

~~~

 

Blue felt himself freeze, hands hovering over where they had just been about to settle on Sans’ shoulders. He stared down at the dust, the blue liquid seeping into the sheets, the frozen terror on Sans’ face, and he did the only thing he could think to do. Before the dust could be lost to the mess of liquids, he leaned over Sans, carefully scooping up the grayish-white powder before pulling it close to his chest, careful not to let a single grain of it spill.

 

The others were watching him, empty-eyed, as he crossed the room, opening a drawer with the shaking fingers of his free hand and retrieving his scarf. Then, just as carefully, inwardly terrified that the tiny pile of dust would blow away, he laid the cloth out straight, gently letting the sandy remains fall onto it. 

 

There was one more moment of deathly stillness, absolute silence, as Blue folded in the ends of his scarf, protecting what was left of..of their…

 

Then Sans cried out again, the sound one of grief instead of pain. Blue looked back to see Red frozen, staring at the scarf, and Sans with his face buried in his hands, shaking like a leaf.

Blue could feel Sans’ grief trickling through their bond, but he just wasn’t...wasn’t quite there yet. So he just crossed the room again, sitting on the bed beside Sans and wrapping his arms around him as he sobbed. He felt Red join him, shushing Sans quietly and letting him cry into his jacket. 

Blue knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that when the emptiness faded, he would wish he could have it back, so he clung to it. He clung to the lack of grief, to the lack of sadness, to the lack of anything at all, because he  _ knew _ it was better than the alternative. 

 

He knew he would feel it all later.

 

~~~

 

Red let his back hit the wall outside of their room, his shoulderblades protesting sharply from the impact. He ignored the small pain, letting himself half-fall to sit on the ground with his back to the wall. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he wrapped his arms around his legs, burying his face in his knees and beginning to cry. 

 

He could feel Blue slide down to sit next to him, wrapping an arm around the tops of his shoulders, but he didn’t react. He could feel the other’s worry through their bond, and he clung to it, knowing that if he let himself focus on what Sans was feeling, he would break down completely. 

The doctor was taking care of him, cleaning him up and diagnosing the problem. He’d asked the two of them to leave the room so that he could calm Sans down, get him to explain what had happened. But it didn’t matter what the doctor did. They’d all seen it.

 

Their child was gone. 

 

He sobbed harder, his crimson-dyed tears staining the bone around his eyes and dripping down onto his legs. Blue was still holding on to him, arms squeezing tightly, but Red barely noticed. He’d gone his whole damn life wishing for a child,  _ knowing  _ he would never get to have one. And now…

 

Well, he’d been right. 

 

He should have known that anything he had a part in creating wouldn’t be...wouldn’t be… He let out a ragged breath, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Even now, he couldn’t think of them as anything less than perfect. Even though they were…

 

God, what kind of father would he have  _ been _ , anyway? Here he was, sitting on the floor and crying instead of doing  _ anything _ even remotely helpful. He hadn’t even checked to see if Blue was--

 

There was a quiet sniffle from beside him, and he turned to see tears tracing their way down Blue’s face. He seemed to be trying to hold them in, trying to be strong, to be there for Red. His eyes softened even as another sob wracked his body, and he reached out, pulling Blue close. 

 

They were quiet for a long time, just holding each other and crying freely, sending what little calm they could muster to Sans.

 

“For what it’s worth,” Blue whispered, breaking the silence and causing Red to shift his tear-filled gaze to meet Blue’s. “You would have been an  _ amazing _ dad.”

 

Not even years of self-hatred like Red had built up could deny the honesty and love trickling through their bond.

 

~~~

 

It had been a running joke for as long as they’d known each other, whether Sans or Red was more “powerful”. It’d started as “I could kick your ass and your brother’s ass, fight me.” and quickly turned into fact-checks and taking measurements of their own magic capacity, trying to one-up each other like the nerds they were.

 

It had just been a fucking joke. 

 

And when it was officially confirmed, the higher magic capacity belonging to Sans once and for all, no arguments possible, it had been a  _ hilarious _ joke.

 

God, it had been so funny when Red found out. 

 

So. Goddamn. Funny.

 

Sans couldn’t feel  _ anything _ about what the doctor was saying. All he knew was that it wasn’t funny anymore.

 

This was his fault. 

 

“...and because you have so much excess magic, it floods the ectoplasmic tissue. Most of the time, that isn’t a problem, but I’ve never seen so much magic in one monster.”

 

The doctor’s eyes are pitying, full of soft empathy that  _ has _ to be fake because how could he possibly know how Sans feels? Not even Sans knows how he feels. He doesn’t feel anything at all. Just a cold, dead  _ emptiness _ , but it’s far preferable to the sharp bursts of pain that had been assaulting him until his partners left the room. 

 

“The cause did not lie with the child; the child itself was perfectly healthy at your last checkup, but it appears as though you are incapable of carrying a child yourself. Is it possible that one of your partners could carry instead, or that you could look into a surrogate if you were to try again?”

 

_ Try again? _

 

Sans couldn’t tear his eyes away from the doctor’s, he hadn’t been able to for the entire time he’d been in the room. He didn’t quite know why, just that it felt as though if he looked away, he’d never be able to look back up.

 

“In any case, Mr. Serif, you appear to be fine, and you shouldn’t have any health concerns at all, beyond some soreness. Please, call me again if anything else comes up, but that is all that I can offer you at this time.”

 

The doctor stood, gathering his things, probably preparing to call Blue and Red back into the room.

 

“Wait…”

 

Sans heard his own voice echo out into the empty air, the sound of it surprising even him. His throat must be dry; he sounded as though he was dying of dehydration.

 

_ Was this my fault? _

 

Sans has spent a lot of time around doctors, whether they be medical doctors or not, and he knows how annoying the stupid questions get after a while. There are some things a patient should be able to figure out themselves, that they shouldn’t waste their doctor’s time with if they already know the answer.

 

Right?

 

_ Was this my fault? _

 

“C-can you hand me that cup of water?” he asked, his voice still dry as he pointed to the nightstand. The doctor nodded, caringly, and crossed the room to pick up the cup before handing it over. 

 

“You’ll be feeling better in no time, Mr. Serif.”

 

~~~

 

Blue stared down at the soft blue cloth of his scarf, fingers trailing over the hem. He could feel his soul tightening, filled with something he didn’t know how to describe, but that he’d been feeling more and more lately. 

 

It was clean, now, the dust it had protected having been brushed into a special container meant for this kind of thing. A normal monster funeral would entail spreading the dust over the monster’s favorite thing, but what could you use for a monster that had never even had a chance to live, let alone have favorites?

 

Blue’s breath hitched, and he pulled the drawer open, beginning to stuff the cloth inside before rethinking, folding the scarf carefully and setting it on top of the other contents before pushing the drawer closed. He followed it forward, nearly collapsing against the front of the dresser. He stopped himself just in time, locking his knees and propping his elbows on the dark wood as he took a few deep breaths. 

 

All his life, Blue had been seen as a child. Even as an adult, people had a tendency to pinch his cheeks and call him cute. But...he’d never really seen himself as a child. He’d always been ready to grow up, ready to chase his dreams, ready to run a million miles an hour into the nearest big adventure. As he’d gotten older, done more, seen more, he’d learned that sometimes the “big adventure” might not seem so big from the outside. It only had to be something that left your soul racing, made you ache for more even as it seemed like you should hate it.

 

God, he’d been so ready for this adventure.

 

Pain lanced through his soul again, and he pressed his hand tightly to his eyes as he tried to stave off the incoming tears. He’d cried far too much over the past week. 

 

He was so tired of being sad.

 

~~~

 

“Breakfast is ready.”

 

Sans sighed, his already-closed eyes squeezing even tighter shut before he convinced himself to open them. He looked up, not bothering to move his head, and came face-to-face with Red, half-crouching at the side of the bed. They just looked at each other for a moment, Sans fighting to keep his face expressionless until, suddenly, he couldn’t anymore. 

 

Rolling over, he pulled the blankets up to his chin, closing his eyes again. “I’m not hungry.”

 

A weight settled onto the mattress, hesitantly, as though Red didn’t really want to be here either. “You still need to eat.”

 

“...I know.”

 

Sans felt warmth at his back as Red laid down, throwing an arm across his ribcage and pulling him back into his own chest. “So come down, just try to eat something, okay?”

 

Sans’ eyes cracked open, and he glanced down at the arm that encircled his torso. Something about the contact was putting a bad taste in his mouth, a sour sort of tinge to his thoughts that kind of made him want to cry. He squeezed his eyes shut again.

 

“My soul hurts, I don’t know if I can-”

 

“I’ll carry you.” The response was immediate, a knee-jerk response, almost. Sans wondered if Red regretted it. He knew he would have. Who would want to have to carry a goddamn adult around the house like he was was a ch--

 

His soul gave another pulse, and he winced visibly. Behind him, Red sighed, sitting up and propping himself up with his hands. “Would you come down if I carried you?”

 

“...I guess.”

 

“And try to look happy while I do it,” Red said, hauling himself to his feet before turning back to his partner. “I think Blue’s worried you’re gonna fall down or something.” 

 

The words were spoken as though he was forcing a smile, a worried, half-serious joke of a thing. Sans could feel himself sinking down into the mattress, wishing he could just stay here forever and not have to worry about what would happen if he  _ did _ fall down. 

 

Maybe that would be preferable.

 

Before he could continue any further down that train of thought, Red scooped him up. He tossed the blanket to one side as he held him to his chest, adjusting his grip until Sans was settled comfortably into him. Before he could really think about it, Sans felt himself pressing himself closer, wishing for the comfort of another soul so close to his own. 

 

His soul clenched again.

 

Red used his feet to kick open the door, probably a bit louder than he should have, and walked down the hallway carrying Sans like an invalid. He did his best not to hate it as much as he felt like he should be as he was toted down the stairs and into the kitchen before being placed in a chair.

 

“Sans!” 

 

Even across the room, dressed in a blue t-shirt and what looked like an old pair of Red’s shorts, Blue’s relief was obvious. Sans felt a flash of guilt at the expression on his face, but he forced himself to smile in return. “Hey, Blue. What’re you makin’?”

 

“Uh…” Blue looked back at the pan, as though he’d forgotten what he was cooking in his excitement at seeing Sans out of bed and...well, not  _ walking _ around. Being lugged around. 

“Pancakes!”

 

Red sat in the chair on Sans’ other side, crossing his legs in the chair like a barbarian. Blue spared him a disapproving look, but didn’t comment on it, turning his attention back to Sans as he waited for a reply. 

 

“That’s, uh, that’s awesome, Blue,” he forced out, but he could feel himself warming up to the idea of actually eating something. “Chocolate chip pancakes?”

 

A grin that could rival the core in it’s brightness sprouted across Blue’s face. “They can be!”

 

Sans grinned, the warmth spreading a little further as the humor felt a little more real. “They’d  _ better _ be, Blue, c’mon.”

 

Blue snorted, rolling his eyes, but he turned around almost immediately, stretching up for where he kept the chocolate chips “hidden”. 

 

“Don’t look!”

 

“Sure,” Red and Sans said at the same time, neither bothering to even shift their gazes away from where they already knew the chocolate had been tucked. Sans’ grin widened, a trace of something  _ before _ in it, and leaned back a bit in his chair. He shifted to get more comfortable, wincing as his spine scraped against the wood of the chair. Red’s gaze snapped to him immediately, but he just waved him off, the discomfort not even worth an investigation. Almost automatically, his hands dropped, preparing to settle on a space just above his spine.

 

When his fingers met nothing at all, he could  _ feel _ himself reeling, snatching his hands away from the area as though he’d been burned. His sockets stung for a moment, and he took a deep breath as he settled his hands instead on the table, resisting the urge to press his forehead to the cool wood. 

 

When he felt as though he’d regained some semblance of control over his emotions, he looked up, straight into the worried gaze of Red. 

 

“It’s fine,” he mumbled before the other could say anything at all. “I’m fine.”

 

“Sans--”

 

“ _ What _ , Blue?” he snapped, not even looking over as he curled his fingers, dull phalanges pressing into the wood of the table without leaving a mark like they would have for Red. “Are you gonna say we need to talk about it? Have a little heart-to-heart? Because it’s  _ not _ happening.” 

 

The silence in the kitchen was deafening, all three occupants almost deathly still as it felt like the whole world was holding its breath. Then there was a soft sniff, almost inaudible, and Blue turned back to the stove, going back to flipping the pancakes without a word. Red and Sans both watched him, refusing to look at each other, or anywhere else at all, really, but it was Sans that noticed the shaking of his shoulders first. 

 

He sighed deeply, considering just for a moment of trying to stand up and properly apologize before his soul gave another sharp pang. “Blue, I’m--”

 

“Sans, you are  _ not _ the only one who is in pain!” 

 

Red looked shocked by his own outburst, but he quickly steeled his resolve, meeting the other’s gaze unflinchingly. Sans’ eyelights were dim, but they had been the entire time he’d been downstairs, so Red powered on. 

 

“We...we are  _ all _ hurting, and all we fucking have is each other!  _ Shit _ , Sans, we thought  _ you _ were going to die, too!”

 

“Red--”

 

“No, Blue, you  _ know _ that he needs to hear this!” he interrupted, sparing him a softer glance before his voice lost some of his sharpness. “We all  _ need _ to talk to each other, we need to...to figure out what we’re going to do, where we’re going from here, what needs to--”

 

“What, like  _ trying again _ ?”

 

Sans’ voice was cold, empty of any identifiable emotion. He was looking down at his lap, his hands having retreated into his pockets. “Are we gonna figure out how to fucking fix me or something? It’s not going to fucking happen, Red, I’m  _ sorry _ !” He looked up, and Red drew back, shocked by the look in the other’s eyes. “I know you both had your fucking hearts set on me not, oh, I don’t know, completely fucking  _ failing _ you, but  _ oh no, _ that’s what I did!  _ Wowie, _ that’s gotta be the first time that’s ever happened!” 

 

Blue looked at Red for a moment, mouth hanging slightly open as he processed what Sans was saying. 

 

“But I know you both wanted to be parents, and now you can’t, and it’s my fault! But let’s fucking  _ talk _ about it! That’ll fix everything!”

 

“Sans--”

 

“This is  _ all _ me! It’s all on me! I’m the one that’s fucked up, I’m the reason your fucking kid died, so what are  _ we _ gonna do about that?!”

 

Sans looked between them, brows raised in a sarcastic question, but his eyes were starting to spill over, the tears that had begun to pool starting to stream down his face and leave blue stains in the bone. 

 

“What, nothing to say? You don’t want to talk anymore? I’m so fucking  _ surprised _ .” He took a shaky breath in, then let it out all at once, trying to stave off the flow of tears before he couldn’t speak past them. “Well, I have something to say. If you w-want this so  _ fucking _ bad, you’re going to have to get it without me! I  _ can’t. _ I’m  _ broken _ . So if y-you’re even capable of being honest with yourselves for one goddamn second, think about that!”

 

The only sound for almost a full minute was the ticking of the clock, echoing in a way that seemed deafeningly loud in the oppressive silence.

 

“Sans, we don’t blame you.”

 

Sans didn’t even look up in response to the trembling voice, and Blue looked at Red for help. Red, however, had his eyes locked on Sans’ face, eyelights trembling. Blue steeled his resolve, forcing himself to continue. 

 

“This isn’t your fault, and we don’t blame you. It just...it wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”

 

Sans scoffed lightly, but he was looking down at his lap again, his fire having burned itself out to make way for the guilt that was weighing him down further than much of anything else. “It could be, you know.”

 

Blue furrowed his brow, and Red sat back in his chair, both regarding him with confusion. “What could be?”

 

“You…” Sans picked at the hem of his jacket, his gaze stubbornly fixed on the motion. “You could have a kid. I know how much it meant to both of you, but I can’t….it’s never going to happen with me in the picture.”

 

Red leaned forward in his chair, grabbing Sans’ hand and holding it tightly in the same moment that Blue turned off the stove, crossing the room to sit in one of the other chairs. 

 

“Sans,” Red said, quietly, but with a hard resolve neither of his partners had heard from him in a long time. “I don’t want a kid if you’re not a part of them, too.”

 

Sans tried to fix him with a glare, but it fell short, and he sighed. “I’m really not hungry,” he mumbled, pulling his hand away to pick at his coat some more. “I just want to sleep, can...can I  _ please _ go to bed?”

 

Blue and Red exchanged a glance, their sadness and exhaustion mirrored in their already-similar faces. 

 

“Yeah, of course,” Red said gently, turning his attention back to Sans. 

 

“I’ll bring you up a plate a bit later,” Blue murmured, standing carefully before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to Sans’ cheek. “Sleep well, okay?”

 

Sans just nodded, closing his eyes as Red picked him back up, keeping his breathing soft.

 

Soft.

 

Slow. 

 

Calm.

 

Maybe if he pretended it, he could actually feel anything but broken.

 

~~~

 

The crunch of snow under Lust’s boots echoed through the still air of Snowdin town; there weren’t a lot of people out and about at this time of night, even in a mostly-friendly world like UnderSwap, darkness wasn’t the safest environment to be out on the streets in. He rounded the corner of the house that was so much like his own, coming from the basement and on his way to the front door. ‘

Why, he still wasn’t entirely sure. 

 

Climbing the front steps, he steeled his resolve, breathing in carefully, then out slowly, calming the racing of his soul before he reached up, his hand hesitating a mere inch from the wood. 

 

God, this was  _ so _ overstepping his bounds. 

 

He knocked anyway, the rapping of his fist against the door filling the air. There was a moment of silence, then the sound of footsteps approaching from inside the house could be heard, slow and tired against what he knew to be a well-worn carpet. The door opened, revealing a tired-looking Blue, who immediately crinkled his brow in confusion. “Lust? What are you--”

 

“Can I talk to Sans?”

 

The words were out of his mouth before he could really think about them, and he immediately cringed as Blue’s confusion only deepened. 

 

“Lust, it’s almost ten o’clock,” he said slowly, making no move to open the door and invite him inside. 

 

“I know,” he said quietly, shuffling his feet for a moment before he continued. “Please, Blue? It’s really important.”

 

Blue must have seen the promise in his eyes, and there was a tired sort of weariness coming into his expression the longer they stood there in silence. 

 

“Okay...okay, come in.”

 

“Thank you,” he murmured, stepping past Blue and into the living room before slipping off his boots. Blue shut the door and turned around, regarding him carefully before letting out an exhausted sigh. 

 

“He’s upstairs.” he said quietly, gesturing at the stairway before shoving his hands in his pockets. “I don’t think he’s asleep, but if he is, please don’t wake him up.”

 

Lust nodded his agreement, distracted for a moment as he noticed Red sprawled across the couch, fast asleep. Blue followed his gaze, and the sadness in his own eyes only seemed to deepen before he looked back at Lust. “Go ahead,” he said quietly, gesturing again at the stairs. 

Turning away, Lust shook his head to clear it of his thoughts before he began climbing the stairs, doing his best to ignore the atmosphere that filled the house. 

 

Pushing open the bedroom door, he peeked inside, remembering only at the last second that he should have knocked first. Before he could duck back out, however, the figure that was curled up on the floor below the window stirred, and Sans’ head poked out of the nest of blankets he was surrounded in. 

 

Rubbing his eyes, he squinted in Lust’s direction, looking confused. Lust, for his part, elected to just bite the bullet and come the rest of the way into the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. 

 

“Lust? What’re you--”

 

“Hey, Sans,” he said, and at his tone, the other’s eyes immediately filled with something almost like anger, if it hadn’t been so incredibly sad. 

 

“How did you find out?”

 

Lust was silent for a minute, taking a deep breath as he crossed the room to the bed and sat heavily, realizing all at once that he was not nearly as prepared for this conversation as he should have been. “Your brother told me.”

 

Sans sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes again as he sat up. Lust wondered, for a moment, what he’d been doing over by the window, but his question was almost immediately answered as he caught sight of the view, the star crystals planted in the cave ceiling just barely visible from the angle he had from up on the bed. 

 

“So what are you doing here?”

 

Lust swallowed his nervousness not fading at all the more this conversation went along. “I want to help.”

 

“Lust...no offense or anything, but--”

 

“But how am I going to help?”

 

Sans nodded helplessly, and the shift in the lighting across his face made the dark burns of exhaustion under his eyes stand out all the more. 

 

“I…” Lust was suddenly at a loss for words, and he dropped his gaze, looking down at his lap as he tried to think of what to say. “Sans, I know how you feel.”

 

There was a sharp intake of breath, and he inwardly cringed. He shouldn’t have even had to think to know that that was the wrong thing to say. 

 

“How could you possibly think that you--”

 

“ _ I know how you feel _ ,” he insisted, still not able to tear his gaze up from the carpet. There was a stain, just a shade or two darker than the rest of the floor, right next to his left foot, and he focused on it like it was the most important thing in the world. 

 

The silence was absolutely deafening, pounding in his ears like someone screaming obscenities into a megaphone. 

 

“Oh.”

 

Sans’ voice, even as soft as it was, made him jump, and he looked up, locking eyes with the smaller skeleton. He looked  _ so _ tired. Lust wasn’t sure he’d ever even seen himself so tired. 

“I...I had a...a long-term relationship, once,” he said quietly, holding eye contact as he spoke. “Grillby, back in my world, he’s...he’s a really great guy. The only person, really, that I ever….wanted  _ that _ with. The whole...picket-fence thing.”

 

Sans’ eyes had lost some of their emptiness, filled instead with a sort of morbid curiosity that Lust couldn’t help but understand. He took a deep breath, and continued.

 

“It was the only pregnancy scare I ever had that I was actually scared of, and it was for an entirely different reason than most of them were. It was fucking terrifying, but...I mean...you know what I mean.”

 

Sans just nodded, still watching him carefully.

 

“Then one night I just…” Lust’s gaze finally dropped, focusing on his hands as he forced them to unclench from the fur of his jacket. “I woke up and I--”

 

“You don’t have to say it.” Sans murmured, his voice barely audible. Lust looked up, his eyelights focusing slowly as he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes. 

 

“They were gone,” he said quietly, his voice thick. “I had just gotten used to them, and they were gone.”

 

Sans had gone completely still, not even the blankets wrapped around his shoulders shifting as he stared up at his alternate. 

 

“They were green. Kindness.” Lust let out a short laugh. “I remember thinking that was so funny, that any kid of mine would have  _ kindness _ as their primary trait. But...I could see it for Grillby’s kid. He was so  _ goddamn _ kind, it sometimes didn’t seem fair. And I felt like...I felt like I’d failed him. Like he’d given me everything and I hadn’t even been able to--”

 

He was cut off abruptly by a hitch in his chest, and he looked up towards the ceiling, taking a deep breath. 

 

“Do you ever…” Sans trailed off, and Lust forced himself to look back down at him, teeth clenched against his own emotions. 

 

“Does it ever feel better?” Sans asked, his voice hollow. 

 

Lust just looked at him for  a few seconds, trying to decide how to answer. 

 

“I wouldn’t know,” he said, finally. “I...I fucked things up, pushed Grillby away because I couldn’t handle the thought that it was because of me. I’ve...I’ve had to do this alone. It’s been  _ three goddamn years _ , and this is the first time I’ve--” 

 

Sans snorted quietly, withdrawing back behind the mask that Lust recognized all too well. “So that’s what this is, huh?”

 

“...what?”

 

“This is a ‘don’t make my mistakes’ speech?”

 

Lust narrowed his eyes, staring down at Sans as though he’d never seen him before. “Excuse me?”

 

“I dont…” Sans clenched his teeth for a moment, his fingers curling into the cloth of the blanket. “I didn’t need you to tell me I shouldn’t do it myself, that it isn’t  _ good _ for me. I don’t give a shit about me, it’s  _ them _ I care about--”

 

“Don’t be a fucking idiot,” Lust cut him off, shaking his head sharply. “Do you have any idea how much they love you? How lost they would be if you were to...to do whatever the hell it is you think you have to do? You’re smarter than this, Sans.”

 

“Who do you--”

 

“Sans! Stop it!” Lust growled. “You’re damn right, this is a ‘don’t make my mistakes’ speech, because if you  _ keep _ making my mistakes, you’re going to end up just fucking like me! Alone, and stuck in the past, in something I couldn’t have changed. I am  _ fucked up _ . You don’t need a degree in psychology to see how fucked up I am, and you don’t fucking deserve to have that happen to you!”

 

Sans immediately opened his mouth, probably preparing some retort or another, but Lust cut him off with a frustrated wave of his hand. 

 

“Don’t you dare! You  _ don’t _ deserve it. Neither do I, neither does anyone! It. Was. Not. Your. Fault.”

 

“I--”

 

“Red and Blue love you more than I’ve ever seen anyone love anyone else, and I  _ know _ you love them too, Sans.  _ Please _ . Do not make my mistakes.”

 

Sans was quiet for a long time before, finally, he nodded. 

 

“Thank you.” Lust breathed a sigh of relief, hands coming down to rub subconsciously against his own femurs, an old nervous tic. “But that wasn't… This wasn't originally meant to be a ‘don't make my mistakes’ speech. I was just…”

 

He looked down at his lap, then back up at Sans, who was just watching him again. “I….the real answer to your question? About if it gets better?” He shrugged self-consciously. “I suppose it does. You never really forget, and you never really...you don’t stop being sad. But it gets better. You learn to deal with it, to stop imagining what could have been, and you sort of….accept it.”

 

Sans shifted, reaching up to rub at his face for a moment before he nodded again. “I hope so.”

 

“It does. It really does.” Lust promised. “It’s...hard to think about, but if the only thing you can focus on is the life your kid might have had, you’ll never move on. And, Sans, you  _ need  _ to move on. There’s so much waiting for you out there, don’t let this be...the end of it all, you know?”

 

There was a moment, just a moment, where it looked as though Sans was going to argue. Where it looked as though he may yell or cry or kick Lust out of the room altogether. 

Then he sighed, and his face crumpled. 

 

“I know.”

 

~~~

Sans hesitated at the top of the stairs, clutching tightly to the railing to support his aching body. He didn’t want to do this, he  _ couldn’t _ fucking do this, but he had no choice. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he began the descent, one painful stair at a time, making his way to the living room where he could hear the TV going, the soft murmur of his partner’s voices just barely audible over the positively dulcet tones of napstabot’s latest hit.

 

Reaching the last step, he gave a sigh of relief. Stairs were fucking awful, especially since his soul was sending pulses of soreness down to his legs that were making him want to--

 

“Sans, what the hell are you doing?!”

 

He jumped in surprise as Red was suddenly by his side, making a move as though he was about to pick Sans up and carry him right back up the stairs. 

 

“Wait! Wait, no, I’m good, I want to--” he gestured vaguely at the couch, and Red took a step back, watching him uncertainly. Blue was peeking at them over the top of the couch, looking concerned, but Sans shot him a strained smile as he hobbled over to join him. Leaning heavily on the arm of the couch as he came around to the front, he again questioned why the fuck he was doing this. 

 

Well, he knew why. 

 

He finally managed to sit on the couch, breathing heavily, and Blue turned around, sitting back down and watching him uncertainly. Red hesitated on the edge of the room next to the stairs, eyes narrowed in confusion and worry. Sans glanced back at him, forcing another smile, and patted the seat next to him. 

 

Red gingerly obeyed, sitting on the edge of the cushion as though ready to leap off and sprint away at any second. Blue was watching him carefully, knees drawn up to his chest as he grabbed the remote, turning the TV off and giving Sans his full attention before he even had to ask for it. 

 

Sans breathed in, then out. Then did it again. Slowly. Calmly. Carefully. 

 

He could do this. 

 

“Okay,” he said, his voice coming out with a crackle. He cleared his throat, and continued, feeling the eyes of both partners on him.

 

“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s….let’s talk.”

 

~~~

 

**Epilogue - One Year Later**

 

“Red, will you fucking hold still?”

 

Red huffed, lifting his chin further into the air and fighting to keep himself still, despite the nerves that were making him want to re-organize the entire building. God, he didn’t like this. He was  _ stress-cleaning _ .

 

“Really, boss? Here? You’re gonna do this-- _ oof!” _

 

Fell pulled his fist from where it had just connected with Red’s ribcage, returning to straightening the other’s tie. “Yes, I’m going to do this here. Where the fuck else am I going to do it?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Red grumped, glancing to the side, where several other party-goers were visible. “Maybe not in public would be great.”

 

“Then you shouldn’t have fucked up your tie, asshole.”

 

“Why do you even care? I thought you’d enjoy it if I looked like an idiot.”

 

Fell grinned to himself, then removed his hands from Red’s throat, having finished his fussing. “Because I, for one, do not want to be on the wrong side of Blue and this event. I get the feeling he might actually dust the first person that messes something up.”

 

Red chuckled. “You may be right about that. I think Sans is hiding from him, actually.”

 

“Smart man.”

 

The brothers laughed, and Red found himself picking at the edge of his shirt, taking deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down. A hand came down on his shoulder, hard enough that his knees almost buckled underneath him. He turned to his little brother angrily, but was brought up short by the expression on the other’s face. 

 

There was something soft in Fell’s eyes, something caring and proud that Red had never seen before from his sibling. He was left floundering in the wake of it, thoroughly unprepared for the words that were leaving Fell’s mouth. 

 

“Sans…” Red was struck by the use of his real name, staring up at his brother in shock. “This is the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself. It’s something entirely wonderful to see you so...happy.” 

 

“Boss…”

 

“I’m proud of you.”

 

Red’s mouth dropped open, and Fell immediately glared at him. “If you tell anyone that I said that, I will deny it.”

 

The corner of his mouth curving up into a doofy smile, Red shot him a wink. “Aw, c’mon, Boss. They all know how much you--”

 

“Shut the fuck up or I’m taking it back.”

 

“Love you too, bro.”

 

“And I you. Which I will also deny having said.”

 

Red’s smile softened, taking in the embarrassed flush on his brother’s face before opening his mouth, about to speak.

 

“Red!”

 

His breath left him in a rush as something barrelled into his side, someone’s arms wrapping tightly around his middle as they were both spun around by the momentum. Fell snickered from where he had been left behind by Red’s ungainly exit, shaking his head as Sans immediately assaulted his older brother with his laughing excitement. Blue joined them not a moment later, stars in his eyes as he watched the scene the others made. 

 

Sans let go of Red’s middle to straighten his own sleeves, seemingly put off by the formal clothing, and Blue immediately threw his arm over the other’s shoulder, planting a kiss on his cheek. Sans let out an indignant exclamation, and Red laughed, the sound loud and clear and happy. 

 

Fell smiled to himself, turning away and making his way to the back of the room, the rare sound of his brother’s laughter following behind him. 

 

“Sir?” came a voice, and he turned to see a small rabbit monster looking up at him, an usher’s uniform pressed and fitted to them declaring their responsibility here. “I’m sorry to bother you, but are you Fell Serif?”

 

“I am.”

 

The rabbit nodded, looking relieved. “I’m sorry for the delay, sir, but we are ready for the grooms.”

Fell nodded, glancing back at his brother and his alternates as a rare smile lit up his face. 

 

“I will let them know. Thank you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr. Or play Cards Against Humanity with me. Either works.
> 
> I am going to post another shoutout thing for Chapter 101, so be looking out for that when my fingers stop hurting.


	101. Shoutouts 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Have more shoutouts! I’m gonna structure this one a little differently than the last one, so hopefully it should be a little easier to navigate. I am including some of the stories from the shoutout chapter in 51, just because I want to give an accurate representations of what my favorites are now.
> 
> Also, no kinkshaming. There is no shame here, I’ll tell you guys all my kinks, no problem. Fight me. (maybe that’s even one of them, you don’t know. Yeah, that’s right. Fight me all over again)

**Gift Works:** These are fics that other people have written for me! Thank you so much to all of you! If you see ones that are listed here also listed below, that is just because I love it!

  * [ Betrayal Leads To Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8681998) \- SansyFresh
  * [Second Place Contest Winners](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9195065) \- SansyFresh
  * [A Royal Affair](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10088681) \- GallifreyanChild
  * [Predatory Innocence ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10381320)\- SansyFresh
  * [Second Chances](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10438935) \- UltimateGamer101
  * [A Plan To Be Torn](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9984335) \- SwanPaw
  * [A Papyrus Thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10372206) \- CyanideCupcake
  * [For the Fate of the Kingdom](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10884117) \- Ollie_Oxen_Free
  * [RottenBerry](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10236266) \- DeckOfDragons
  * [How to Get a Spicy Boyfriend](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10470291) \- Ollie_Oxen_Free



 

**Favorite Creators:** Whether they are personal friends of mine or just generally amazing authors, I want to give these guys a little recognition! These are not in any particular order, except that Fresh is my favorite person in the world.

  * [**SansyFresh**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SansyFresh/pseuds/SansyFresh) \- My best friend, a fantastic writer, a generally fantastic person (but still fuck you, Stretch is a dom), please go read every goddamn thing they’ve written. They’re fantastic at fluff, their smut is phenomenal, and their angst is _heartbreaking_. 
  * [ WhoTheHeckyIsBecky](https://whotheheckyisbecky.tumblr.com/) \- You, my friend, are the reason I said creators instead of authors. Becky creates gorgeous fanart over on Tumblr and leaves the absolute nicest comments on things that I’ve written. They are a friend of mine, and I count myself lucky to have someone so talented liking one of my works so much that they’ve created so many amazing things for it.
  * [GallifreyanChild ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanChild/pseuds/GallifreyanChild)\- Another personal friend of mine, writes amazing rarepairs and has some really fucking cool explorations of little-known Sans’ characters.
  * [0neType](http://archiveofourown.org/users/0neType) \- An extremely talented writer that I’m sure you’ve already heard of. Seriously, their stuff is just too fantastic for words.
  * [Idon'tevenknowugh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/idontevenknowugh) \- They have some next-level angst that I cannot recommend more highly if you don’t have triggers. Watch their tags, please.
  * [Nilchance](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nilchance/pseuds/nilchance/works?fandom_id=6541412) \- I only recently discovered this author, but they write in a way that just...gets to me. They are amazing at what they do, and they have works in a lot more fandoms than undertale so be sure to check out more than what I have linked if you’re interested in that!
  * [Ollie_oxen_free](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ollie_oxen_free/pseuds/ollie_oxen_free) \- Their characterization of Razz and every single depiction they have of RottenBerry is just absolute pure perfection, the interactions they have between their characters are just so honest-to-god funny that I can’t help but laugh out loud.
  * [Cashtastrophe](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cashtastrophe/pseuds/cashtastrophe) \- there is just something about the way they write that speaks to my soul. I shit you not, I become a better writer after I’ve been reading their stuff for a while. They’re that good.



 

**Top Fics:** These fics are the best of the best, the ones that I make weird excited noises for whenever they update. Fics that are 18+ and/or have triggering content will have  **~~** before the title. Please be careful. These are not in any particular order, except that nothing fucks me up like H &H..

  * **~~~**[ **HOME AND HEARSE**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9602555) \- 0neType



A heartbreakingly wonderful one-sided swapcest one-shot. I mean, I used to like swapcest pretty well. Then I read this. And now, fuck swapcest! And fuck you too, Type! (not really, you’re just a really good writer and I cannot  _ handle _ this fic.)

  * **~~~**[ Karmic Retribution ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8255036/chapters/18915266)\- Mercy_Run



Amazing Bledgeup. Like...I cannot express to you how  _ good _ this fic is. And it updates very, very regularly, so you get a lot of updates!!

  * [How to Get a Spicy Boyfriend ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10470291/chapters/23103429)\- Ollie_Oxen_Free



One of the most honest-to-god  _ hilarious _ fics I have ever read. I don’t think there’s been a chapter yet where I haven’t laughed out loud. Also, hey, Rottenberry, hell fucking yes!!!

  * [Papyrus Saw Him](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9616592/chapters/21725819) \- idontevenknowugh



Everything about this one is just...it’s a beautiful fic. It really, really is. 

  * **~~~~~~~~**[ Disbelief ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9212567/chapters/20894312)\- idontevenknowugh



All the goddamn warnings. All the fucking possible warnings. Holy shit. But, fuck, guys, this is one of my all-time favorites. I  _ adore  _ this fic. It isn’t just heartbreaking, it’s soul crushing. 

  * **~~~**[ Power Hungry Assholes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6592369) \- sweetsinnerchild



100% 10/10 best Fellcest ever. I still really need to write a tribute to this.

  * **~~~**[ Learn to Live](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5989543/chapters/13763221) \- I_Write_Sans_Not_Tragedies



This whole goddamn series is worth a read. The character deveopment is some of the best I’ve ever, ever seen, and I adore the way the characters interact. The only reason Learn to Love isn’t up here at the top too is just that this one is the absolute best, no questions asked, and I didn’t want to put both up here.

  * **~~~~~~~~**[ Replacements](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7194014/chapters/16327235) \- idontevenknowugh



Again, all the fucking warnings, but like...holy shit. The whole series is amazing, and just...the way they write this is phenomenal. 

 

  * ****~~~**[ An Unorthodox Offer](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7770670/chapters/17723632) \- AngeliaDark**



 

I don’t even fucking ship sanster or papster what am I doing here? Oh, right, this person is a fucking fantastic writer. I almost fucking forgot. Seriously, though, this is kind sanster, and a super sweet story all around.

 

**#Spon:** Hey, might as well push my other fics. Go readeth them. 18+ fics will have  **~~** before the title, but I can’t promise that unmarked ones won’t become NSFW in the future. Just pay attention to the tags, yeah?

  * [ Perseverance](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10955073) \- Chapter 100 Special in cbc form
  * [String Theory Alternate Path](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10826541) \- an angst af alternate path that String Theory could have taken
  * [ITS ALL ABOUT ME](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10695513) \- literally just something where I link a bunch of youtube videos and talk about myself. It’s a vent thing, don’t worry about it lol
  * **~~~**[ String Theory](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10085411) \- my second most popular work, a kustard story where it just starts out as them getting into an FWB relationship and it’s totally fine and dandy from there, nothing angsty ever happens in this fic at all (I’m lying and also a sadist, don’t trust me)
  * [Seasons Change](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10538307) \- the prequel to String Theory, a story that starts with the origins of ST Rottenberry and just kinda goes from there lol
  * [Ring Ring it’s the Love of Your Life](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9258539) \- An Errotic Fic Chain I have with Galli that I really fucking need to write the next part for lol
  * **~~~**[ CrushingOn Stupid Smut](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9348767) \- I try to smut, it goes...okay?
  * [A Night Off and A Dress ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10092563)\- A ClassicLust medieval au that just has like the happiest ending ever (lolnope)
  * [Roommate Bros](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9397871) \- I know you probably thought Lust x Fell was a joke ship, but nOT FUCKING ANYMORE WOOOO (wrote this one with Fresh btw, it’s an rp)
  * [Believe in Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9239672) \- Chapter 50 in cbc form
  * [Don’t Drink, Kids](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9307154) \- This was a Classicberry fic chain with Silverstreamcat? But they’ve since deleted all of their accounts so it isn’t exactly likely to continue lol
  * [Grass is Always Greener](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372) \- a rewrite of the GIG chapters from COSOS



Fuck, I have 23 works, I’m not gonna list them all here. Fuck this. Just click on my name up there by the title and go to my works tab if you want to see more, I’m calling this good.

 

**MORE FICS I LOVE**

I have over 200 bookmarks (though I don’t know how many you can see, since a lot are privated) so if you want EVEN MORE, go there and check it out! These are just my favorites! 

***Be careful, just because the fic is not in the “Watch for Warnings” section doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and rainbows. Be smart, check tags if you need to.***

**General Audiences**

  * [ Kitty Red](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9850010) \- RabbitPie
  * [Blissful Ignorance](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8316637) \- indulgenceahoy



 

**Teen**

  * [ With Good Intentions](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10390455/chapters/22946886) \- Anirrahn
  * [Napoleon Complex ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9287123)\- insaneshadowfangirl
  * [FINAGLC](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5056333/chapters/11627629) \- unrestedjade



 

**Mature**

  * [ Hold Yourself Together ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9328268/chapters/21137261)\- SansyFresh
  * [One-Shots and Other Things](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9369737/chapters/21211616) (Chapter 1) - themesswemade
  * [Flipping the Script](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6702073/chapters/15328225) \- AngeliaDark
  * [Relaxation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7817008/chapters/17840167) \- SansyFresh



 

**Explicit**

  * [ Roses and Lace](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10700922) \- Ollie_Oxen_Free
  * [Like a Vandal](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10623603) \- Nilchance
  * [Can Anybody Find Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10322786) \- SansyFresh
  * [Black and Blue and Red All Over](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9982898) \- idontevenknowugh
  * [Animosity](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9464825) \- 0neType
  * [Broken Bonedaries](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6256168/chapters/14334850) \- sin_bin
  * [For An Everlasting Smile](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6805138/chapters/15539995) \- Anonymonimus
  * [Make Me Yours](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7835335) \- yupimgross
  * [Hand Up](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8383309) \- Askellie
  * [Swap Synergy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7120573) \- soloshikagami
  * [Dancing With Myself ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6843301)\- soloshikagami
  * [A Royal Tryst](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7979608/chapters/18255505) \- soloshikagami
  * [Strings & Things](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8664433/chapters/19863373) \- GallifreyanChild
  * [To Love Again](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7261132/chapters/16486750) \- SinnySkelle
  * [To Love Yourself](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6424108/chapters/14705545) \- undertailsoulsex
  * [A Home in You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8070613/chapters/18492697) \- PantyAnarchist & Zeryxis



 

**Watch the Warnings**

  * [ Or The Tiger](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9300749/chapters/21080993) \- Germindis (and uggy but they’re unlisted)
  * [Reflection](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9241436) \- 0neType
  * [Sticks & Stones](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6242380/chapters/14302720) \- 0neType
  * [Learn to Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7174448/chapters/16285481) \- I_Write_Sans_Not_Tragedies
  * [The Itch](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6952360/chapters/15851902) \- Queen_of_Sintale
  * [Red Light District](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6782854/chapters/15498709) \- Germindis
  * [Blue Gets Tortured](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6926257/chapters/15799954) \- Vidoxi



I may have forgotten some, in which case I’m very sorry! If there is a fic I really enjoy, it will almost definitely be listed under my recs!

  
  


And now for one more spon,  [ this is my Tumblr! ](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) I will sometimes post a few lines I’m proud of from things I’m working on, answer your questions, reblog all of Becky and Fresh’s stuff...yeah! I also take commissions, and post about my livestreams, and play Cards Against Humanity with my followers every single Saturday! In fact, I’m heading over there right now to play, so come and hang out!


	102. There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [This song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7xzXDStQnk) is really, really fucking good and happy and upbeat and it made me want to write something for it. 
> 
> So, behold, the Sanses and their "happy endings". 
> 
> I did do pairings because fuck me I’m a shipper at heart, and I went with Kustard/Rottenberry/Lasagnaise because those are my favorite versions of some pretty happy endings for all my favorites.

#  **Sans**

“Do you promise to uphold the standards, laws, and moral obligations required of a member of the Royal Guard?”

Papyrus’ eyes were bright as he responded, the required response he had practiced so many times slipping out of his mouth as though he’d been born to say it. He stood tall, spine straight and proud, a hand on his chest and the other in the air. His red scarf blew behind him in the wind, a completely unmanufactured moment that just served to make him look that much cooler. He wasn’t wearing his battle body; the tradition of this ceremony required a uniform, but he had managed to convince Undyne that his beloved scarf was an absolutely essential part of that uniform. 

Sans watched from his place in the crowd, soul full of pride and maybe a little bit of that bittersweet emotion that a parent feels upon seeing their kid reach their wildest dreams. God, his brother was so cool. How had someone like him raised someone like  _ that _ ?

A hand slipped into his, squeezing lightly, and Sans realized he was crying. He reached up to swipe at his eyes, his usual grin stretching into something far more real, far more solid. He squeezed Red’s hand back, not even having to look at him to know that he had that worried sort of look on his face that only seemed to pop up when he was around Sans. 

A flash of movement to his left caught his attention, and he looked automatically. Frisk was there, sitting next to Toriel, and watching Papyrus with an air of unadulterated happiness.

The hand in Sans’ pulled away, only for the arm to encircle his shoulders and pull him closer. Sans refocused his attention on his brother, clasping his fingers together and smiling with pride as he watched Undyne pin a badge to his brother’s waist. 

Five years. 

It had been five years since the last reset.

The life he had made for himself wasn’t temporary, wasn’t a distraction, wasn’t something fleeting. 

“I hereby name you one of the soldiers of the Royal Family, an official member of the Royal Guard. You may rise.”

They could all have a future.

 

#  **Red**

“Papa?”

Red looked up from the sink, peering down at the tiny skeleton who was now clinging to his waist. Constantia was peering up at him with the sparkling eyes her uncle Papyrus had taught her how to do, a smile on her face that had Red wondering exactly when this little troublemaker had gotten him so thoroughly wrapped around her tiny fingers. 

“Yes, honey?”

“Do you know where Daddy hid his candy?”

Red snorted, finishing the dish he had been washing and flicking the water off of his fingers before turning to scoop his daughter into his arms. “Of  _ course _ I know where Daddy hides his candy. It’s my job to know!”

Constantia giggled, battering at his chest with her tiny fists. “Put me down!”

Squeezing tighter, Red made his way out into the living room, checking around for his husband very carefully before whispering, “It’s in the cabinet beside--”

“What are you two up to?”

Red barely bit off a loud swear, jumping about a foot into the air in response to the voice that came from right behind him. He spun around as Constantia squealed, the two of them staring at the newly arrived Sans with matching expressions of horror. He was looking between them knowingly, barely-suppressed laughter evident in his eyes at the reactions of his husband and daughter. Screw the no-teleporting-inside-the-house rules, that was worth having to do one of Red’s chores. 

Constantia was the first to break the silence, her small voice ringing out innocently. “Hi Daddy! Papa was telling me where you keep your secret candy!”

Red nearly burst out laughing at the expression on Sans’ face, comical betrayal that was very obviously only for the kid’s benefit playing across his face as though he’d just caught him selling nuclear codes. “Geez, Con, way to rat me out…”

She just smiled, wiggling in his hold until he set her down and she scampered back into the kitchen, probably to search every cabinet they owned for the candy stash. 

They watched her go, matching indulgent smiles on their faces. 

“Red?”

He turned back to face the other, smiling at the brightness of his eyelights. It was good to see Sans happy. 

“Yeah?”

“I actually moved my candy stash, and I am  _ not _ telling you where I put it this time.”

 

#  **Blue**

Screaming out loud, Blue tore his headphones off of his head, practically throwing his computer away and onto the bed and scrambling backwards and away from the screen. He was frozen in terror for a moment, trying to process his own reaction to what had really not been  _ that _ bad of a jump-scare. He’d just been really immersed, and for frick’s sakes, Outlast was really scary!

It took him a second to realize that someone was running up the steps, calling his name. When he realized who it was, he burst out laughing, just in time for Razz to burst into the room, looking as though he was ready to dust someone. 

Instead of the horrors he had probably been prepared for, he was confronted with the sight of his soulmate curled in on himself, sitting up in bed, laughing so hard he was snorting. He relaxed, watching him with an expression that was equal parts indignant and amused. “Blue, what the hell? You scared the shit out of me!”

Blue couldn’t catch his breath enough to tell him not to swear, instead reaching out and turning his laptop so that Razz could see the screen, then laughing even harder at the expression on his face when he realized what was going on. 

“Oh my god, Blue…”

He just kept giggling, burying his face in his hands as he let his adrenaline spike run its course. He heard Razz cross the room, chuckling as he patted Blue on the back. 

“Are you okay?” Razz asked as he started to calm down, and Blue nodded. 

“Yeah…” his voice was set at a higher pitch than usual, and he cleared his throat, trying again. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry to scare you like that.”

Razz made a disbelieving noise before pushing Blue over so that he could sit next to him, then held out his hands. Blue just looked at him, not comprehending, for a moment, and Razz huffed jokingly before reaching out and grabbing the laptop himself. He flexed his fingers, then put on the headphones. 

“Let’s see what all this hype is about,” he said, and Blue grinned at the way he scooted over to sit as close to him as he could. 

Scaredy-pants. 

 

#  **Razz**

This had to be the best fucking birthday party Razz had ever had; there was music, there were people, and he was  _ drunk _ . When he had still been in Swapfell, none of those things had particularly appealed to him. Now, though?

Holy shit, was he enjoying himself.

He could feel his inhibitions lowering with every shot he swallowed, bobbing along to the music while Blue, who never had any inhibitions to begin with, challenged everyone in the room to dance battles. It was honestly only a matter of time before he got to his soulmate. The look in his eyes was just a little too confident for Razz to let slide, and he grinned widely as he nodded along to the beat.

“Dance with me! I’ll bet I’m better than you!” 

Even though the challenge was easy to see coming, Razz still felt his soul jump in some combination of nervousness and excitement that had him hesitating for a split second. He was well aware that he couldn’t dance, and there were a fuckton of people in this room.

The question was, how much did he  _ actually _ care?

The chorus started, and Razz seized Blue by the hands, spinning him around and singing loudly. Blue laughed in surprise, but dove into it headfirst as always, matching Razz’s steps before pulling away to be a fucking show-off. Razz did his best to keep up, still singing completely off-key and not really caring that much at all. 

One particular spin had him careening wildly off-balance, the alcohol clouding his movements making him stumble several steps before knocking quite violently against an innocent bystander. Blue kept dancing right along, grinning at him in a “I’ve kicked your ass in this contest” kind of way, and Razz did his best to straighten back up and go show his soulmate what was what.

After a moment or two, the innocent bystander he had crashed into reached out, grabbing him under the armpits and pulling him back to his feet. Razz turned around, carefully, to tell them to fuck off, he was totally fine and really not even that drunk at all, but it took him a moment to process the sight before him. 

Slim had removed his hands from under Razz’s arms, but now he clapped him on the shoulder, the grin that had Razz frozen in confusion still lighting up his face. 

Slim was...he looked…

Razz grinned back, fighting back the tears he knew Blue would never let him hear the end of, then danced backwards onto the dance floor, flipping his brother off with both hands. 

Even as drunk as he was, he realized the gravity of a moment that had a  _ smile _ on Slim’s face. 

And the fact that he was the one who put it there, after everything he’d done?

Well.

He spun around and grabbed Blue’s hands again, doing his best to listen to what the other was shouting at him over the music. 

“You look happy!”

Razz’s grin widened, and he pulled the other close, planting a kiss on the side of his head.

“I am!”

 

#  **Lust**

It was easy, when Fell was so close to him, to reach out and take him by the hand. It was easy to turn around and pull him close, plant a kiss on his mouth or just wrap him up in a hug. He was right behind him, talking to his own brother, and Lust could hear the other’s voice even over the excitable tone of Pink’s exclamations. 

The nice thing about it, though, is that he didn’t  _ need _ to do that. He didn’t need to reach out and brush his fingers along Fell’s arm to know that he was still there, that he hadn’t left. He didn’t need to kiss him just to remember that he was loved. 

He  _ knew _ that he was loved. And Fell never let him forget it. 

Lust still didn’t get how that was true, how he had reached the point with  _ anyone _ where he didn’t have to check and recheck that they were sticking around. Maybe it was because Fell was the first one to really try. 

He was the first one to teach Lust that he didn’t need to be so  _ alone _ . That no, there was nothing inherently wrong with him that made him the way he was, he just needed someone to care like this. 

Sure, his brother was fantastic. He always had been; traipsing around in his admittedly awesome outfit and brightening Lust’s days like nothing else. But it was an altogether different kind of brightness than the light Fell brought into his life.

Lust had always kind of wondered if his brother only stuck around sometimes because they were brothers. He knew now, of course, that that wasn’t true, but…

Fell had  _ chosen _ him. He’d taken a look at all his flaws, at the kind of friend he’d been, and he’d chosen to stay despite all of that. And, not only to stay, but to...to choose  _ this _ with him. 

Lust had shared a lot of himself with a lot of people. A little too much sometimes. 

But this was the first time someone else had chosen to share right back.

The first time someone had really  _ loved _ him. 

And now? After so many years? So many trials? 

He was  _ finally _ at the point where he believed he might even deserve that love. Where he didn’t have to check that Fell was still there. Where he didn’t have to be reminded every moment that he was loved. 

He just knew.

And it was amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans just wants the happiness that he and his loved ones find to stick around and not be erased.  
> Red's ultimate dream is to be a father, with someone he can love unconditionally to have at his side through it all. And come on, of course his happy ending would involve candy. I don't care if he's in the medical field, this is _Red_ we're talking about.  
>  Blue wants someone he can be real with, and that will be real right back. (I know his seemed pretty odd compared to the others but I just...he wouldn't have a grand moment like "oh this is my happy ending". It would just be the happiness of ordinary moments all stacked up together and he would look back at the end of it all and go "that was a happy life, I'm glad it was mine".)  
> Razz just wants to make up for his self-proclaimed sins and for the people he loves to be happy.  
> Lust just doesn't want to be lonely anymore.


	103. Blueberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I've been writing all day. I'm tired. I have a lot of shit that is very close to being done. Woop woop, finishing unfinished projects feels _amazing_.   
>  (this one is a lot shorter than I wanted it to be but honestly, like...it's barely even a real chapter. Eh.
> 
> I may or may not have a problem. Not just this whole fandom, because that’s just been a problem for a while now, kinda used to it.   
> Nope, now my problem is this goddamn blueberry.   
> The more I explore my idea of his character, find new ways to break and to test him, find out where his limits are and what songs he likes and who he falls in love with the best, the more I fall into this goddamn obsession.   
> So here we go. I’m gonna get some of this out by just...talking about him a lot? Lol enjoy the hell out of this mess.

**Songs On My Phone He Would Probably Like?** (linked ones are his favorites? I don't fucking know, guys, I really like music and I was listening to I Like Me Better on repeat while I was writing this because it just makes me think of him so much. Why am I like this?)

[ **Verge - Owl City** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP95wwpOm9s)

The One - The Chainsmokers

Can’t Hold Us - Pentatonix

Our Fragment - Skrux

Slumber Party - Britney Spears

Arigato - Julie Bergan

[ **What U Want - PLVTINUM** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EyiTwVQObc)

Pray - Bebe Rexha

You Don’t Know Me - Jax Jones

Work From Home - Fifth Harmony

[ **Anti-Gravity - Runaground** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riFU02rtA24)

[ **Are You With Me - Lost Frequencies** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjHMDlAPMUw)

[ **Geronimo - Sheppard** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-SeaCZE2TM)

Hands To Myself - Selena Gomez

Cry - Carly Rae Jepsen

Got To Love You - Sean Paul

DKLA - Troye Sivan

Call On Me - Eric Prydz

R U Crazy - Conor Maynard

[ **I Like Me Better - Lauv** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7fzkqLozwA)

Cold - Maroon 5

Bacon - Nick Jonas

 

When Blue drives alone, it’s all upbeat songs he knows all the lyrics to, singing loudly and badly just for the sake of feeling his voice strain. He looks at the people next to him at stop lights because he loves seeing people he knows in unexpected places. He doesn’t mind traffic terribly, but he loves taking long drives late, late at night specifically because no one is around, and he can go 40 miles an hour in a 30 zone to feel like a rebel and just be by himself. As much as he enjoys people, these little moments of solitude are treasured. He turns songs like “Are You With Me” and “What U Want” as far up as they can go without disturbing people outside the car, and he just...loses himself. 

When he drives with other people, it’s all finger-snapping and singing along to his music so quietly it could almost be mistaken for being absent-minded. It’s “I Like Me Better” sung to a significant other with a wink thrown in every time he feels he can take his eyes off the road. It’s “Verge” and “Geronimo” without singing, but with so much bouncy dancing that you almost feel a little unsafe sitting next to him, because how the hell is he even driving and doing that at the same time? When he drives with his brother, however, the music is shut off, the silence instead filled with his conversation because he really does love to talk to his brother.

The big thing about all of this, though, is that he  _ really _ loves motorcycles. In his opinion, nothing compares to being out in the open on a bike, preferably with someone pressed to his back. He loves the sound of the engine, the feeling of dismounting a motorcycle and pulling off his helmet to reveal big, blue, starry eyes. He knows it gives people pause, and he adores it. 

 

If you know me at all, you know that my favorite Blue ship is Rottenberry, closely followed by CherryBerry. There is just something about Blue and falling in love with someone darker than him, looking at someone that most would see as lost and only being able to wonder how much  _ better _ they could be. He never gives up hope, and he believes so much in people that he can’t help but to fall in love with them. He’s not stupid, he knows that he’s likely to be hurt. He knows that a relationship where the other person is so far from their best self is going to be hard. He just...sees something, some _ one _ like that, and he wants to help. He’s kind to a fault. He won’t stick around if you’re awful, of course, but little mistakes won’t drive him away. 

And of course, how could anyone that dark help but to fall for him? He’s a spot of light, a bit of semi-sarcastic happiness that just sort of makes them hope for the future. And it’s not that sickly sweet sort of happiness you get from some of his depictions. I prefer a Blue that’s a little more…real? He doesn’t look at someone with 12 LV and say “Oh, I think they need hugs and lots of love and kindness”. He looks at them and goes “Okay, they aren’t lost yet. Hearing about the world they come from, I bet they’ve never had anyone there for them unconditionally, pushing them to be better. I’m not just as good a person as any, I’m the best!”. He absolutely pisses them the hell off at first, of course, specifically  _ because _ they’ve never had someone be there for them so unconditionally. It’s just so weird to threaten someone with death and have them respond with “Well, you’re still invited to dinner! I’d prefer if you didn’t kill anyone while you were there, though.” Eventually, though, they get used to it, and they start to sort of go with it without ever realizing what they’ve been tricked into. Then, before they know it, there’s a crack in their LV and all they can think about is pretty blue eyes and a mega-watt smile. 

Even for the ones that aren’t from Fell worlds, he’s amazing. He can look at Papyrus, who has always been seen as a child too, and get him to open up, to talk to him and to help him learn and grow and become a better version of himself. When he tells Sans he’s amazing, not even his self-deprecating inner dialogue can deny the open honesty and love in Blue’s words. When Blue is with his brother, he makes Stretch feel as though there’s something real in the world, and that no matter what happens with the resets, he’ll always have his brother by his side.

What Blue really wants out of a relationship is to be able to be himself, and for that other person to be able to be themselves right back. He wants to be taken seriously, he wants to be able to be perfectly honest, and he wants loyalty. 

Really, the only thing you could do to truly break Blue’s trust, and make him feel as though his soul was splitting in half, is to cheat on him. Loyalty is  _ incredibly _ important to him, and although I feel like he would understand, at least a little, if it was a case of a Fell monster in a brand-new relationship who didn’t really understand the gravity of cheating, he would still be heartbroken. If you were to do that to him, fully understanding what you were doing, letting him believe you loved him and were devoted when really, you were anything but, there would be no second chances. You would be out, you would be done, and it would take a special situation for him to really even want to talk to you again. Even in a situation where he was being abused, he would be forgiving about it. He wouldn’t go back to them, of course, once he was convinced to leave. He’s not naive, or a child. But he would want the person to get help, to be a better person for a future relationship. He really does see the best in people, it’s just that for the cheating thing he would feel so personally betrayed that he would have a hard time even looking at that person without wondering what the hell he did to not be good enough for them. 

 

A lot of Blue’s insecurities come from not being good enough. He’s too small, too cute to be in the royal guard. He looks like too much of a child to be taken seriously among his friends. People assume he’s inexperienced, innocent, naive, because he’s so small and kind. And he  _ hates _ it. 

He takes it with a smile, of course. 

“Well, sir, I’m actually 27!”

“ _ Please _ , Alphys, I’m sure that if you were to just give me a chance--”

But he  _ hates _ it. 

His bluster and "huge ego" doesn’t come from any actual self-love, but more out of a desire to appear bigger and cooler. He’s developed a loud, enthusiastic persona to get people to actually  _ look _ at him, but he knows he’s walking a fine line between being taken seriously and being  _ too _ enthusiastic to the point where people believe he’s a child all over again. 

Stretch is unconsciously overprotective, to the point where Blue kind of wants to drop-kick him off of a balcony. He calls him Papy as an inside joke with himself, a little bit of personal sarcasm that he makes sure Stretch believes is sincere endearment. He knows his brother loves to be called that, so he kinda goes with it, because he knows how much trouble Stretch has with being happy. What’s one embarrassing nickname when it buys him that?

 

Blue is just...

He's kind. 

He's honest.

But that does not, in any way, make him a little baby blueberry. 

He is a full-grown  _adult_ , capable of seeing consequences, capable of making decisions. 

 

And fuck, if he doesn't do a damn good job picking the right ones. 


	104. Unfinished

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of shorter and unfinished ideas that I will probably never get around to lengthening. We will see.
> 
> Table of Contents lol  
> -Some sort of Rapunzel rottenberry au idek guys, I might expand on this one if you like it  
> -A Tango Megalovania  
> -Just some innocent Kustard fluff don't worry about a single thing hahahaha  
> -A stupid-ass idea lol  
> -An unfinished "Why Are You Talking to Yourself" idea  
> -Lust's timeline from Roommate bros, from an old thing Fresh and I had written up and I never finished my part and now I've forgotten where I was going with it  
> -A single entry from Blue's diary  
> -Some old ideas from Seasons Change, so basically it's rottenberry lol

**Apparently A Tangled AU?**

_ What do spoiled and lazy monarchs do when they want to rescue a princess from their castle but don’t want to do it themselves? They hire you. Your company specializes in quick and efficient extractions for damsels in distress, for a price of course. Writing-prompt-s _

“Stop here!” Razz called, pulling in on the reins of his horse and slowing to a stop. Slim followed close behind, stopping only a few paces ahead of his brother. As Razz swung down from his saddle, approaching a mass of hanging vines that had caught his suspicious eye, Slim watched carefully. His eyes searched the area carefully, being sure that nothing surrounded them that could deal them harm. Raz pushed aside the vines, his frown curving into a smirk as he realized that they did, in fact, hide a cave. “In here!”

Slim hopped down from his own horse, tying the reins of both to a nearby tree before following Razz through the entrance. They walked in silence for a few moments, both wary of potential ambush, but before long, a light appeared at the end of the cavern. Razz’s smirk grew, and he pushed forward until, finally, he brushed aside more vines and exposed a large clearing. 

The sun was shining, birds were singing, wild trees growing at the edges of the hidden area, but in the middle rose a tower, constructed out of white stone and topped with a bright blue roof. 

“The king will be pleased,” came Slim’s voice from behind him, and Razz shot him an annoyed look. 

“I sincerely doubt the king will be much of anything but smoking. You are as aware as I that he only seeks a bride to appease his advisors.”

“Then why is he going to all this trouble to find one when he could probably marry someone who  _ hasn’t  _ been kidnapped and hidden away?”

Razz sighed, the argument one they had had several times before, and began crossing the clearing. “He’s not exactly going to much trouble, is he? We’re the ones finding this princess.”

“He’s the one paying us.”

“Lucky for  _ you _ , or you would have no fuel for your fantasies, brother,” Razz shot back, coming to a stop at the base of the tower and looking up. The bricks were aligned too perfectly, and the tower was too high, so there would be no scaling without something to assist him. Of course, he could call up for help, but why the hell would he do that? If the princess had means of escape, he had no doubt they would have escaped on their own and gone running straight to the king. 

As Slim sputtered, attempting to defend himself, Razz reached for his own back, pulling a pair of short metal spears from his quiver and spinning them in his hands before reaching above his head and stabbing one of them through the mortar between stones. Giving it a testing pull, he tested to make sure that it would hold his weight, then let go to shed his bags and quiver. 

Slim stood quietly as he grabbed ahold of the spear again, lifting himself with one arm so that his feet left the ground, and he was able to stab the other spear into the stone above the other. He grunted as he pulled the first spear out, repeating the process to pull himself higher, settling his feet lightly against the stone with every ascent. 

“So I guess I’ll just wait here, then?”

Razz shot an annoyed look down at Slim from where he was already several feet above his head. “Apparently. If there is no way to be found for a descent from the tower, I’ll just toss the princess down to you, so prepare yourself, asshole.”

“I’m pretty sure that would kill both me and the princess.”

Razz sighed, ascending a few more times before shooting back, “Yes, and then I would find myself with no problems at all, would I? AMAZING!”

Slim’s laughter followed his climb as Razz shook his head. He was approaching the only visible window now, and he planted his feet more solidly as he came within reach of the windowsill. Letting go of one spear, he reached up, grabbing the ledge solidly before letting go of the other spear. He took a moment to solidify his grip before he pushed off with his feet, heaving himself over the ledge and onto the wooden floor on the other side. 

Rolling to his feet, he turned, leaning back out the window to retrieve his spears and flip off his brother. Slim responded in kind, and he snorted before turning back into the room. 

_ BANG! _

Razz stumbled back in response to the iron frying pan connecting with his head, barely catching himself before falling out the window. What in the--

“Who are you?! How did you get here?”

Grumbling to himself, Razz reached up to rub at the sore spot at his head. Fuck, that hurt. He looked up, wondering who possibly could have been so stupid as to--

Oh.

Oh, wow.

That was a really bright blue.

 

**Do a tango Megalovania with** [ **this** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB8H-lyegUc%20)

Lust was sprinting, doing his best to keep ahead of the other as they raced across the stony ground. HIs chest was heaving, and he could almost  _ feel _ his eyelights pulsing with his effort. 

Despite it all, Dance was catching up, dodging around the rocks and random debris that littered the ground as though it wasn’t even there. Lust could hear him laughing, and he grimaced as he saw the other drawing even with him. 

Dance vaulted over a mid sized rock, still laughing as he finally overtook his friend, and flipped Lust off as he continued to run. 

Lust could feel his pride taking a hit already. 

 

**Ruined**

_ Tell me a story about a character. Make me love it more as the story unfolds. Then make me hate it in the last sentence. Writing-prompt-s _

Blinking his eyes open, Sans couldn’t help but sigh. It wasn’t his usual sigh that came with waking up; one that very clearly expressed how he felt about having to leave the peaceful void of sleep. No, this was the happy kind of sigh that came with waking up next to Red. 

The bulky skeleton in question was still fast asleep, Sans realized. Red’s chest rose and fell slowly, and his eyelids fluttered in response to whatever dream he was in the middle of. Sans smiled softly, reaching out to wrap his arms around the other. Red shifted slightly in his sleep, rolling closer to Sans and making a small noise of contentment. Sans’ smile grew, and he tilted his head up, pressing a kiss to the bottom of the other’s jaw. 

Red shifted again, harder this time, and Sans’ eyes softened as the other groaned softly, one hand reaching up to rub at his eye sockets and the arm that was around Sans tightening incrementally. 

“Morning,” Sans murmured, kissing him again. A smile curved at the edge of the other’s mouth, even as he groaned again. 

“‘Time is it?”

“Too early,” Sans answered automatically, still grinning. 

Red laughed, then opened his eyes fully before sitting up, dragging Sans up with him. “Do we have work today?”

Sans shook his head as he pressed his face into the other’s chest. “It’s Saturday. We don’t work on Saturdays.”

Immediately collapsing back onto the bed, Red snickered at the expression on Sans’ face. Sans just stayed where he was, momentarily betrayed that the other had just  _ abandoned _ him to sit up on his own. How incredibly rude. 

“Hey Sans?”

He sighed, laying back down and very pointedly not cuddling up to the other. “What?”

“Guess what?”

Cuddling up to the other, because honestly, they’d both known that wasn’t going to last long, Sans grinned. He knew where this was going. “What?”

“I love you.”

There were a few seconds of peaceful silence, then Sans murmured in return, “I love you too, Red.”

It was memories like this that were making tears prick at his eyes, even as dust drifted from his fingers to settle on the worn leather jacket at his feet.

 

**ClassicCherryBerry**

**AU:School Reunion**

**Trope:Pretend Dating**

Sans needs someone to pretend to be his significant other at his high school reunion and somebody gets confused and both Blue and Red show up to be his fake boyfriend. 

(Lmao that’s not gonna stay fake for long.)

 

**WAYTTY 3 (Unfinished)**

Red (snarky UF Sans) meets Cherry (abused, jumpy UF)

 

Cherry hit the carpet, hard, his chest heaving, breaths coming in fast pants that were starting to make him light-headed, which confused him. Did he even need to breathe? He didn’t know, but he’d definitely had the theory tested time and time again, and he wasn’t dead yet. Somehow.

He glanced up, panic making his eyelights go hazy until his mind caught up to his body and he pushed himself up to sit, looking around in confusion. This wasn’t...this wasn’t home. 

Suddenly, it hit him, and his head dropped slightly as tears filled his eyes. He was so fucking  _ weak _ …

“Cherry?” 

He looked up, meeting the worried eyes of this...Papyrus-who-wasn’t-Papyrus, and he shrank into himself slightly. “S-sorry, I d-didn’t mean to--”

“I saw you trip, it’s okay. You didn’t…” the other version of his brother looked worried, crouching beside him and offering a hand. “...you didn’t do anything wrong, alright?”

He hesitated for a moment before accepting the help, letting himself be stood up before pulling his hand back and staring down at his shoes. The fur of his jacket tickled at his neck, making him flinch slightly, as unused to the bone around his neck being exposed as he was.

 

**Lust Timeline From Roommate Bros**

Lust was created by the Gaster of UnderLust in an attempt to solve the underground’s reproduction problems. However, he came out flawed, his magic reserves too big for the size of his soul and what magic he had starting out uncontrolled. As such, he was effectively set on the sidelines; a failed experiment that Gaster felt an obligation to because of their shared DNA. He was never treated badly, really, just neglected by his creator and raised by a string of random monsters and lab assistants.

When he was four, Pink was created in much the same way, but he was labeled an “unparalleled success”. Gaster doted on him constantly, striving to raise him into a monster he would be proud to present to the King and Queen. Of course, he was still the Royal Scientist, so he hired the best caretaker on the market to care for his son while his failure was kept in his room, a few toys and three meals a day more than enough to assuage what responsibility Gaster felt towards him. 

It was when Papyrus was nearly a year old that Lust found a way to sneak into his brother’s bedroom. He had successfully distracted the nanny, hid in a closet, and locked them out so that he could see this strange creature. Upon catching sight of him, Pink smiled, and Lust promptly ran from the room, confused by the emotions he was feeling, the strange swelling of his soul and stinging behind his eyes.

Years passed, and Lust continued to find excuses to see his little brother, talking to him and repeating jokes he had seen from whatever TV show the nanny had sat him in front of for the day just to make him laugh, to see the little smile that made his soul feel so strange. When he got old enough to talk, Lust made sure that Pink knew not to tell Gaster about them seeing each other. He knew the other would be displeased that he was corrupting his son, but he couldn’t help it. This little skeleton that should have filled him with jealousy and hate instead filled a hole inside him that he hadn’t even known existed. 

As time went on, they grew closer and closer. Pink told Lust everything that Gaster had ever taught him, how to read and write and how numbers worked, and he brought him the books Gaster had given him to read. Pink always said how boring all this science stuff was, but Lust found it fascinating, and with increasingly less common breaks to ask Pink to define a word, he devoured the books. 

When Lust was 12, he was curled up in his room with one such book when Pink came home, a strange, empty look on his face as he very carefully closed the door behind him and went to tell Lust that Gaster was dead, that he had fallen into the core in a strange accident and that they needed to leave, start over in a new place where no one knew them. Lust noticed the tells that meant his brother was lying, but he accepted it anyway, and they went to Snowdin, the furthest place they could get from the labs and any of the places that made Pink’s eyes ice over. 

They managed to find work at a local bar, trading half his wages for the tiny room across from the apartment that the flaming bartender and his son lived in. He worked hard, fending off flirtatious customers with an even more flirtatious smile and a little extra whisky, all too aware of how grateful he should be that he and his brother didn’t have to walk home in the dark after their shifts. 

It was probably the new almost-friendship he had found with the bartender’s son that kept him from noticing how Pink would disappear sometimes, coming back late with dark circles under his eyes and an air of frustration around him. 

It was the day after Lust’s 18th birthday that Grillby, the new owner of the bar, approached him. “Such outstanding and long-working employees of my father’s don’t deserve to be  _ fired _ , of course not! But I just don’t have a need for two assistants behind the counter. However, there is another job opportunity that I think you would perfect for.”

Lust did his best to hide his new job as an escort from his brother, but he never had much of a chance of that. It was then that he found out that Pink had been going to the head of the royal harem, putting on his cutest face and asking for a job. Of course, being as young as he was, he was rejected, over and over again, even after staying on her doorstep overnight more than once. Eventually, in a move that was completely uncharacteristic of the determined skeleton, he gave up, finally realizing that if he was going to have a job like that, he was going to have to be patient. He worked hard alongside Lust, and together, they managed to save enough for their own house. By this time, Pink was only a few months shy of 18, and Lust had begun experiencing an odd phenomenon, thanks to a little piece of shit rose that kept popping up everywhere and pulling back time.

Despite this, time did eventually progress. Pink came of age, and he started working to get into the Royal Harem while Lust stayed in the area around Snowdin. He became very popular, people recognizing him on the streets and waving hello, but despite this, he still felt alone. All he really needed was his brother. 

When he was 22, a human fell underground, and everything went to hell. The world fell into a pattern of resets, stranding him to be the lone monster to remember the horrors that had befallen their world. It was almost an act of mercy for him when he and his brother were very suddenly ripped from it, tossed across the multiverse and into the original underground.

 

**Blue’s Diary**

_ Just a format idea I had for a possible story that I only ever got one entry into _

May 25, 2005

Well hello, there, new diary! I had a pretty great day yesterday; Papy’s present came just in time for me to fill up my last diary! He seemed pretty offended that I was calling it a diary instead of a journal, but honestly Papy, we’re skeletons. Why does it matter if something sounds girly if we don’t even have real genders? I mean, at least as far as I’ve seen!

Well this is just a fantastic first page, isn’t it? Anyway, dad took me out to ice cream yesterday, so that was a lot of fun! I really like ice cream, and we can’t afford stuff like that very often. But apparently, it’s only once that dad’s favorite son turns 16! I really do appreciate the sentiment there, but I really wish he wouldn’t say things like that in front of Papy. He’s magnificent, just as much as I am. It’s just in a different way. I think that even Papy has trouble seeing that sometimes, and it probably doesn’t help that dad says those things. Oh, well! He’s always been really strong-willed, so I’m sure that as he gets older, he’ll start to learn to ignore it. I had to, after all, just not with dad! But hey, anyone can be better if they want, so maybe dad will start to keep those things to himself!

I’m a little nervous for this next school year. I’m really glad that dad is letting us finish out the school year here, at least. I’m pretty good at making friends, so when we move it probably won’t be too hard for me, but I am pretty nervous for Papy. Dad’s always so busy at work, and I have a lot of extracurriculars, so I’m a little afraid he’ll just go home and play video games all day instead of trying to make friends. Someone his age should have lots of friends! I know it helped me!

Anyway, I need to get going, I just wanted to write some things in quickly so that Papy could see I was using his present! I am excited to fill you up, hopefully it won’t take me too long!

<3 Sans

 

**Seasons Change**

_ When I was first planning out Seasons Change, I just wrote a bunch of cute little quotes and interactions that I do not plan to ever use, so here they are! Contains...probable spoilers? I have since changed how it’s going to go but idk you might pick up hints. _

Razz felt a spark of...something. There was  _ something _ lighting up his soul and he...he just...couldn’t quite…

and then it was gone, and he narrowed his eyes, glaring at his alternate even as he was panicking inside, trying to figure out what the hell  _ that _ had been, and why it seemed like something he distantly remembered.

~~~

“What’s your favorite color?” Blue asked distractedly, drying the dish and reaching up to put it away. 

Razz opened his mouth, preparing to give an honest answer before he flushed and snapped his mouth shut, glaring over at him darkly. 

Blue noticed the look and grinned, shooting him a wink and pulling slightly on his bright bandana. When Razz’s face darkened, he laughed, but there was none of the mocking cruelty in it that Razz would have expected. 

“Mine, too.” he said, simply, and went back to the dishes. “What about your favorite food?”

~~~

Razz’s hands rose shakily, hands lighting on Blue’s elbows. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to push him away or pull him closer, but he did know that he hadn’t cried in  _ years _ and he...he wasn’t about...to s-start...now.

Even as the thought ran through his mind, he felt the tears filling his eyes, the sting of them something close to painful. 

Blue kept his hands on his shoulders, smiling warmly, his entire being exuding comfort and acceptance and...and l-lo--

Razz shook his head violently, half-trying to pull out of the other’s grasp as his body was wracked with sobs.

Damn it, what  _ was _ this?! What was this  _ feeling _ ? What were this damn tears falling down his face, blurring his vision and making his breath come shorter? What was this...this... _ weakness? _

“You have no idea what I’ve done, the kind of pain I’ve caused!”

Blue’s eyes were filled with tears as he watched him rant. “Razz, it doesn’t  _ matter _ \--”

“It fucking should!” Razz was clutching at his skull, his fingers digging into the bone as he tried to ground himself, to convince himself not to physically sink to the floor under the weight of his sins. “I-It does matter! I’ve d-done things you couldn’t even  _ imagine _ … how could I ever possibly think I could come back from that, that I deserve  _ happiness _ ?!”

Blue was watching him with an unidentifiable look in his eyes, completely silent for once. His fingers were twitching as though he was holding himself back from something. 

Razz continued, choking on a sob as his voice rose in volume. “I have killed... _ so many _ people! S-so many souls, shattered because of  _ me _ !”

There was a long silence, broken only by Razz’s broken cries, before Blue murmured, “Razz, I know it seems impossible to repent, to...get it all back and to change, but...I  _ know _ you can do it. I believe in you.” His voice broke on the last word, and Razz looked up, tears in his eyes. 

Blue was crying silently, his shoulders shaking as he stared down at his hands. “I  _ really _ believe in you, Razz. With my whole soul.”

~~~

Razz was frozen, staring up into the impassive face of his brother. There was a beat of silence, wherein surprise registered on Slim’s face before it closed back up and he dropped to one knee. “M’Lord,” he intoned, his head bowed subserviently. 

Razz thought he might be sick. Where was Blue? Why was his brother here? Why...why were the walls  _ black _ again?

“No no no no no no no…”

Razz could hear his voice, could feel his head shaking back and forth, but he couldn’t quite remember telling any of that to happen. 

Where was Blue?

Slim was looking up at him in confusion, not quite making eye contact. He’d always been so obedient. 

_ “and what does a mutt do when it’s master is taken?” _

_ “It recovers him, M’Lord.” _

“No! No no no, take me back! Switch--switch me b-back!” Razz spun around, looking for  _ anything _ , anything at all that may have caused this, and finding nothing. 

“M’Lord…?”

“TAKE ME BACK TO HIM!!!” he screamed, sinking to his knees as he felt tears fill his eyes before they began to stream down his face.

~~~

“Sans!”

Razz jumped slightly, glancing up at the use of his old name. Slim was standing in front of him, and there was a look in his eyes that after a few moments, he identified as worry. It took him a few extra seconds to realize that his brother was baring his face, as though he expected to be hit, and when he put it together, he felt his soul fill with shame. 

“I’m not your Lord, Papyrus. You may call me Sans. I’m not…” he trailed off as he felt a flash of something cold and cruel go through him, something that wanted to lash out and strike his brother for being so insolent as to use his  _ name _ , as though they were equals… “I’m not going to hurt you.” he whispered, looking down at his hands, clutching tightly to one another in his lap.


	105. Even More Rejects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More stuff that I started and am not likely to finish. There's literally only two of them. This is underwhelming ("is anyone ever just _whelmed_?). I'm cleaning out files and watching Young Justice while I do it, don't judge me.

[ Song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsqDPqII6-Q)

“Hey, I have a good one.”

“It immediately becomes less funny if you start it off by telling me how funny it is.”

“Shut the fuck up. Knock knock.”

When there was no reply, Sans sat up, propping himself up on his elbow and frowning down at Red, who was laying on the floor. The couch was pulled up against the wall, the place it usually occupied currently being used to house every single sock the two of them owned, lined up neatly across the entire floor. Their drunk asses had thought it would be a hilarious idea, a prank of epic proportions that would enrage their brothers to no end. 

They’d been right, but it was a lot less funny now that they’d been given the ultimatum to either pick them up or never eat either Papyrus or Fell’s cooking ever again. 

“I said,  _ knock knock _ .”

The Grillby’s bags had been tossed on top of the lines of socks, and the two had then collapsed onto the nearest flat surfaces to trade awful jokes. All in all, a productive afternoon. 

Red just gave Sans a look, then sighed. “Wait, am I supposed to shut the fuck up, or play along with what I’m sure will be the worst joke I’ve ever heard?”

“Fuckin...just...knock knock, you asshole.”

Red snickered as Sans threw himself back onto the couch cushions, and he reclined back onto the floor, closing his eyes as he responded, “Who’s there?”

_ Clink! _

Eyes flying open, Red gave Sans a disbelieving look. “Did you just throw--”

“Dime.”

Sure enough, there was a shiny silver coin lying among the fibers of the carpet, and Red shot Sans a dirty look that the other didn’t even bother to look at before sighing. “Dime, who?”

“Dime too tired to think of a better joke.”

“Sans, have I ever mentioned how much I hate you?”

“Fair enough.”

 

~~~~~~~

 

(Trigger Warnings for this one. It wasn't going to end with suicide, but he is on the very tippy edge of it and I never made it past that part and now have no desire to do so.)

The thing that Sans loved most about the surface was the sky. Whether it was the middle of the night, and the sprawl of constellations covered the inky blackness, whether the moon was covering the ground in silvery-gray light that made all the shadows seem just that much deeper, whether the sun was shining down and warming his bones like a bubble bath, it was all just so...beautiful. 

The sky was dusky, now, the pure blue of the day starting to fade into a grayer color. The sun was no longer visible, hidden behind the distant mountains, and darkness was beginning to take over. Sans took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of the city. It smelled like smoke, and the street food vendors that had packed up and gone mere moments before. He loved it.

He felt the prick of tears behind his eyes as he shifted his feet, the grit of rocks and something sandy scraping between his shoe and the cement of the rooftop. 

He loved it all so much. 

He wrapped his arms around himself as he stepped forward, taking a deep breath as he looked down at the ground so far below. Legs shaking, he lowered himself to sit, dangling his feet over the edge. He kicked out softly, heels clicking against the tile of the wall as they swung back. 

_ Am I really doing this? _

His gaze rose to the sky, boring into the hazy grey in search of anything, a single star, a bird,  _ anything _ . 

But there was nothing. 

He looked down at his lap, loosening his arms as he realized that they were still wrapped so tightly around himself. One hand raised to his face, brushing under his sockets to check if his body was obeying his mind’s commands, if he had given in yet and cried. Everything seemed to be dry, so the hand dropped down to join the other clasping together for a moment as he took another breath in. His legs swung again, harder this time, thumping back against the wall. 

He almost didn’t want to, now that he was here. He wanted to go  _ home _ . 

But he didn’t have a home. 

His brother was gone. 

His breath hitched in a manner dangerously close to a sob, and he bowed his head into his chest. His baby brother was  _ gone _ . And it was his fault. It was his hesitation, his split-second indecision that had caused it. And then it was just...dust. His brother was dust, and he was gone. Forever, this time. 

It almost didn’t feel real. 

God, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what there was, anymore, without his brother.


	106. Pride Month Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So.  
> I'm pretty Bi.  
> Rottenberry is pretty gay.  
> It's pride month.   
> Here, have the first half of a thing. 
> 
> This is the lighthearted half, the second half will be a lot more intense.   
> I decided somewhere that it would be a good idea to write a gay high school rottenberry au and I did a sorta-Megalovania with it. It's pretty lame but I had a lot of fun and I think it came out semi-okay? I'm aware that it's skippy, that was on purpose. Let me know how you guys like this format! It's going to happen with the second half (if I ever actually do that) but if you guys like it I could do it with more stuff, too!  
> Despite this being the lighthearted half, warnings for a brief mention of abuse (nothing to do with homophobia)

**Maroon 5 - Sugar**

“Please, sir, isn’t there anything I can do? My old man’ll--”

“I’m sorry, Razz.” Mr. Jensen was looking up at him carefully, his paper-shuffling paused for the moment. “The only way you will graduate on time is if you are able to pass every single class this semester and next. You are going to need to study very carefully.”

He returned to his desk shuffling as Razz resisted the urge to scream aloud. “Sir, I don’t understand the material. How am I supposed to study if I don’t even know what I’m looking at?!”

“Perhaps you should have thought about that before missing half of class time every day for two months,” he said, not even looking up. “I suppose you will have to figure something out.”

This mother _ fu _ \--

“Good day to you, Razz. I’ll kindly see you tomorrow,  _ in class _ .”

His hands twitched, then he spun around, stalking out of the room and into the hallway, slamming the door behind him. Immediately, he spun around, punching the locker next to the door and letting out a loud noise that might have been a swear word if he hadn’t been so  _ pissed _ .

“Uh...hey there. Did my locker personally offend you in some way?”

Razz jumped violently, spinning around to see who was talking to him in an otherwise deserted hallway and coming face-to-face with probably the bluest eyes he’d ever seen.

The other was also a skeleton, about an inch shorter than him with a blue baseball tee and jeans. He had a backpack slung over one shoulder and a grin on his face, standing with one hand on his hip and the other holding onto the strap. 

“What?”

“You punched my locker,” he said, gesturing to the slab of metal before returning his gaze to Razz, still grinning. “Did it hurt your feelings or something?”

Razz made a face at him. “Fuck off, man.” 

“Language.”

_ What? _

“What are you, religious or something? Who says that?”

The other shrugged, stepping past him and putting in his code to open the locker. “My family is, so I suppose. It’s more of a respect thing. We’re in a semi-professional building of learning, and we should talk like we want to succeed.” He glanced over his shoulder as he exchanged his backpack for a duffel bag. “My name is Blue, by the way. What’s yours?”

“Razz,” he replied quietly, still confused. 

Blue looked at him again, raising a brow in thought. “Say, are you in the band?”

He folded his arms tightly at that, trying not to grumble under his breath. “Jazz band, yeah.”

“Nice!” Blue closed his locker, turning around to face him and cocking his head to one side. “Bass?”

“Kind of. I know how, but I usually play the drums.” 

Blue nodded, then fiddled with the straps of his bag. “Cool! But..uh...hey, well, I gotta get to practice. Nice meeting you!”

He stuck out his hand, smiling expectantly. Razz looked at him doubtfully for a long moment, then sighed, extending his own arm to shake. Blue returned the gesture enthusiastically, then turned and walked away, calling a “Bye!” over his shoulder. 

“Bye,” Razz said, too quietly to be heard. 

Fuck, he hated jocks. They were all so fucking fake.

Even as he turned, stalking his way down the hall with much less vigor than usual, he couldn’t help but wonder why he couldn’t get those bright blue eyes out of his head.

 

**Sia - The Greatest**

“Hey! Razz, right?”

Jumping violently, Razz just barely caught himself before tossing his drumsticks across the room to impale the intruder. “Fuck! Why the hell would you just--”

He froze as he recognized the newcomer, nose crinkling in confusion before he leaned back in his seat. 

Blue’s arms were folded across his chest, but he was hiding a smile, and Razz found that he kind of wanted to smack it off of him. 

“Again, watch your language. Say it all you want but I’d really rather not hear it.”

“What are you doing here?” Fuck pleasantries, this was just weird. What the hell was a  _ football player _ doing in the  _ band room _ ?

Blue shrugged, bounding up the risers until he was standing right beside the drum kit. “Well, I was talking to Mr. Jensen about earning some extra credit, and he told me that--”

Razz groaned loudly, slamming his sticks down on top of his snare (gently, somehow, he wasn’t an animal) and standing. “Seriously? What, did he tell you to be my damn hall monitor or something?”

Raising a brow, Blue folded his arms again, sizing Razz up carefully. “No...he told me you might need a tutor. He didn’t give me any details, but he made it sound like--”

“Yes.”

Blue’s sentence stuttered to a stop, staring at him in shock. “Yes? I thought you wouldn’t--”

“You’re on the football team, right? So you’ve gotta have good grades. Mine are shit, no matter  _ what _ I do, and if I don’t graduate, I’m dead. So fuck, yes.”

“Well...alrighty then. Let me give you my number.”

 

**Blackbear - Do Re Mi**

“Just try it one more time,” Blue said, trying not to laugh. “And make sure that you remember that 6 plus 3 does not equal 10.”

Razz grumbled under his breath, picking his pencil back up and very carefully writing “Fuck you.” across the front of the notebook paper. “There. Fixed it.”

Blue looked over his shoulder, nodding carefully as he pretended to study the other’s work. Razz rolled his eyes, regretting every decision he’d ever made that had landed him in this preppy asshole’s living room. 

“Well, I do see an issue with this,” Blue said confidently. 

Razz just rolled his eyes, burying his face in his hands as he prepared for the other to say something stupidly bright and positive. God  _ damn _ it, why was every single fucking football player a--

“I’m pretty straight, so I think you might have to find someone else to do that. Never took you for a bottom, oddly enough.”

Blue just patted his back when he choked at that, carefully picking up his pencil and erasing the words. “Seriously, though. If you want to graduate, you might want to finish the problem.”

 

**Troye Sivan - for him.**

Blue snorted loudly, picking up a nearby pillow and smacking Razz over the head with it. “Dude! You can’t just  _ say _ stuff like that!”

“Why not?!” he asked, laughing loudly as he attempted to escape. “She’s fucking tall as hell, that’s a turn-off! People shouldn’t even  _ be _ that tall, let alone if they want to date me!”

“That’s such a rude thing to-- Who would even want to date you?”

Razz waggled his eyebrows at the other, grinning widely as Blue gasped in mock outrage and attempted to hit him with the pillow again. 

“Aw, c’mon, Blue-boy,” he said, still laughing as he snatched the pillow away and held it above his head. “It’s perfect, too, you’re like the only person in the school who’s shorter than me!”

Blue screeched in mock outrage, leaping for the pillow and knocking Razz off the couch. They wrestled for a moment, Razz swearing loudly as Blue accidentally kneed him in the front of the pelvis. Blue grabbed the pillow from him, leaping to his feet and putting one hand on his hip as he brandished the pillow triumphantly. 

“HA! NOTHING BESTS THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE!”

Razz was laughing breathlessly, one hand pressed to his chest as he struggled to recover. Blue grinned down at him, and he did his best to tell himself that the fluttering in his soul was a side effect of asphyxiation. 

 

**Maroon 5 - Cold**

Razz’s fingers were shaking with excitement as he dialed the phone, the test he had received back today clutched tightly in his other hand. He raised the screen to his face, trying to bite back his huge smile as he heard it ringing.

“Hello?”

“Guess what?!” he burst out, his grin breaking out across his face as he heard the other’s voice.

“You finally watched Attack on--”

“I passed!” 

His voice cracked in his excitement, and he paused to frown at himself in confusion before a sudden scream of excitement had him wincing and holding the phone away from his face. “Razz! That’s amazing!”

With that, his smile was back, phone pressed back to his face as he resisted the urge to jump up and down. “Yeah! I got a B+! I don’t know how I could possibly even  _ begin _ to thank you, this is the best grade I’ve gotten on a test since--”

“Come to the game!”

Razz paused, frozen on the last word. “What?”

“You asked how you could thank me! Come to the game tomorrow!”

“Blue--”

“Please? My dad’s not gonna be able to show, and it’d be nice to have someone cheering for me!”

Razz realized he was still smiling, and he sighed slightly, letting it fade. “You just  _ had _ to play the dad card on me, didn’t you?”

“Yep!”

Fuck, he could practically see those big blue eyes pleading with him. 

“...Fine.” Then, before Blue could squeal again, he added, “But you have to buy me a popcorn.”

Blue snorted, mock-offended. “Well, of course. Who do you take me for?”

 

**Jon Bellion - Guillotine**

“That was the worst fucking thing you’ve ever made me do,” Razz grumbled, letting his feet bob where they were hanging off the edge of the couch. 

Blue grinned down at him. “What, not a football fan?”

“Do you even know me at  _ all _ ?”

Laughing, Blue relaxed back into the cushions of his couch, letting his eyes fall shut. “Hmmm...well, I’m glad for an excuse not to go to the after-party. I hate those things.”

“I thought you liked all that social shit.”

“Yeah...not when everyone’s drunk, though. Gets a bit awkward. Plus, my dad’s gone for the weekend, and I’d be dumb not to take advantage of that. Peace is priceless, here.”

Razz pushed himself up to sit, turning to face Blue and drawing his knees up to his chin. “What’s wrong with your dad?”

Blue shrugged. “Nothing, really. He’s just always on my back. He’s had my whole future planned for me since the time I could walk. Apparently, I’m gonna go to MSU on a football scholarship, graduate with honors and a Law degree, and marry some girl along the way, have 2.5 kids, all that stuff.”

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that’s not what you want.”

“That’s a thousand points to you.”

Razz shifted, leaning back against the arm of the couch and studying Blue carefully. He was still lounging across the cushions, eyes closed and arm thrown over his chest but there was a tense air about him, something hinting at the fact that these were old, unspoken grievances. 

“So what do you want?”

Blue’s eyes flew open, and he stared at Razz in confusion for a moment. “What?”

“You said you didn’t want the whole picket-fence thing. So what do you want?”

There was a long moment of silence, and Blue’s face scrunched in thought. “Well...I suppose...I’ve always liked the idea of me as a police officer. Is that crazy?”

“No crazier than me wanting to be a doctor.”

“Now that’s pure insanity,” Blue shot back, laughing as he relaxed again.

“Hey, you’re good with crazy. You’ll do fine. Be a police officer. Fuck your dad’s plans. It’s your life, you should be happy in it.”

“Yeah...yeah, I know.”

 

**Troye Sivan - DKLA**

What the fuck was he  _ doing  _ to himself?

Razz watched silently as Blue bounced around the room, chattering excitedly about something or another. His bright blue eyes were brightly lit, and Razz resisted the urge to lose himself inside them. 

Fuck.

_ Fuck _ .

Sure, he’d never actually had a real girlfriend, maybe made out with a few girls, but it’d just never been his thing! He’d just assumed he didn’t really like any of it, he was prepared to live his life alone, and then…

_ Fuck _ .

Blue turned to face him again, looking over his shoulder as he smiled, and Razz’s soul leapt. Immediately, he cursed himself. 

There was no way he could be…

He wasn’t...

He sighed, eyes following the sway of Blue’s hips as he danced his way back to the couch, throwing himself across the cushions and propping his feet across Razz’s lap. He snorted and shoved them off, snickering as Blue complained, and they started to bicker back and forth. 

He knew he was lying to himself. He knew he was in denial. He knew that he was…

Fuck.

 

**Halsey - Eyes Closed (Stripped)**

“Hey, Razz?”

Glancing over, he grinned widely. Blue was practicaly falling asleep in his seat, the bowl of popcorn between his knees titling to one side along with the rest of his body. “Yeah?”

“I’m kinda tired.”

“You don’t say?”

“Shut up…” he mumbled, but he was smiling. Razz reached for the remote, pausing the movie and turning to give Blue his full attention. 

“Do you want to go to bed? I can go home.”

“Nah…”

“How eloquent of you.”

“You should stay here,” Blue said quietly, grinning over at Razz for a second before it faded, replaced by sadness. “I don’t want you to have to go home.”

Razz tilted his head to one side, confused. 

Blue took a deep breath, still apparently fighting to keep his eyes open. “I don’t think...You’ve never said, but I don’t think your dad’s very nice to you. You deserve better than that.”

All he could do was stare at him, open-mouthed. “...what?”

“You deserve better!” Blue’s tone took on one of determination, despite their tired sheen. “You deserve to have people who love you! Who look a-after you, and d-don’t leave b-b-bruises on your arms where they think p-people won’t notice!”

Razz felt his eyes widening, shrinking into himself as Blue started to cry, reaching up to press his palms against his eyes for a moment before pulling them away, turning to face Razz and letting his tears flow freely. “I-I know you d-don’t...don’t want m-me to notice, b-but...of  _ course _ I do! I notice e-everything about...about…” he took a deep, shuddering breath. “You’re my best friend! And I j-just...I want you to be...to b-be happy.”

“Blue--”

“I j-just l-love you t-too m-m-much to let you--”

“ _ What? _ ”

Blue stopped, pressing rewind in his brain to see what he’d said to make Razz look at him like he was now; eyes full of some combination of fear and elation that he was way too exhausted to really understand. 

Wait.

His eyes widened, and he threw up his hands ina defensive posture. “I’m s-sorry! I d-didn’t mean to s-say--”

“Do you mean it?”

Razz’s voice was deadly serious, staring him down like his eyes held the answers to the universe. Blue met the gaze for a long moment, struggling for words that would absolve him of his sins, wouldn’t incriminate him, wouldn’t give up the impossible dream he’d held far too close to his soul for far too long.

But...but he just couldn’t bring himself to lie to that look.

“Yeah...yeah, I do.”

 

**Carly Rae Jepsen - Cry**

Blue had always loved the stars. He loved to lay out on a roof, staring up at the night sky and wondering what was out there. There were so many possibilities; aliens, planets, maybe it was just a really big blanket with a bunch of holes in it, there was no way for him to ever  _ really _ know. And he loved that. He loved the uncertainty of it, when everything in his life had always been planned out so perfectly for him. 

Maybe that’s why he’d first fallen for Razz. Maybe that was why it felt so wonderful to lay out on his roof now, fingers tangled together, staring upwards and occasionally bickering about what aliens would look like if they landed (“They’d look like your face, Razz.” “No, I think they’d look like your ass, actually.” “I don’t think aliens would be quite that attractive.”)

He turned his head, watching the other’s face as he looked upward. 

Maybe it was the uncertainty. Maybe it was the unplanned perfection that made him want to stay by this asshole’s side. Maybe.

Or maybe this was just how it had always supposed to have been. 

Either way, he didn’t care. 

He turned on his side, scooting forward so that he could lay his head on Razz’s chest.  The other’s arm came up to wrap around his back, pulling him close, stroking one thumb along the curve of his spine. 

He  _ really _ didn’t care.

 

**Adam Jensen - Marijuana Breath**

“Take a deep breath.”

Razz obeyed without a second thought, sucking in air and holding it there. He heard Blue laugh at his willingness, and cracked one eye open to see him swimming closer, grinning widely. 

“Why are you holding it?”

His breath came out with a  _ whoosh _ as he mock-glared at the other, still paddling his feet to keep himself afloat. “I don’t know. I thought you were gonna dunk me or something. Why else would I need to take a deep breath?”

Blue grinned at him, stopping his advance just as he was in danger of crashing into Razz. “I just wanted you to be prepared.”

“Prepared for wh--”

His vocalization was abruptly cut off as Blue leaned forward, balancing carefully on the lake floor before reaching out and wrapping his arms around the other’s shoulders, pressing himself close as their mouths met in a kiss. 

Well.

Razz’s arms were quick to pull the other’s waist in close, the kiss breaking far too quickly but the two of them still not willing to fully part. 

Nothing could have prepared him for that.

 

 


	107. Borderline nsfw idk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read that title tho? idk proceed with caution, tis aftercare
> 
> PLATONIC BAE WANTED SOME SUB FELL SO HERE YA GO FRESH, F E L L C E S T
> 
> (this is really short lmao)

Fell’s body was shivering, soul thumping and chest heaving as he squeezed his eyes shut, collecting himself. He felt more than saw it as Red leaned up to hover over him, nuzzling a kiss onto his jaw. 

“You are so fucking gorgeous like this, Boss.”

Despite himself, a grin crossed his face, and he tiredly raised his arms to pull his brother closer. Red allowed it for a moment before kissing him again and pulling back, carefully detaching himself from the embrace and reaching beside the bed to grab a bottle of water and cracking it open. Mock-glaring at the other, he held out the bottle. “Now, drink this. I know you enjoy being a stubborn bastard but you are not getting out of this one.”

Fell gave the other a half-hearted glare in return, allowing Red to help him sit up and taking the drink cautiously before taking a sip. He realized how thirsty he was; chugging the remainder as Red disappeared with a quiet  _ pop. _

He tried to ignore the immediate drop in his soul, a tightness around the middle of his being as soon as the other was no longer in sight. He tried to shake it off, knowing that he was only getting something to clean him up with. He  _ knew _ that Red was only being considerate, that he was just trying to make all of this as comfortable for him as he could. God, Fell had had so much trouble even convincing himself to let down his guard enough for Red to take over on these nights, and he could never bring himself to say just how much he appreciated the fact that Red knew him well enough to clean him up right after.

But fuck, the  _ moment _ he was out of sight…

Before he could even finish the thought, Red was back, kneeling in front of him on the bed, the thick bones of his ribcage gleaming in the soft light of the bedroom as he leaned forward. Red took the water from his hands, his smile softer than it ever really was otherwise, and brushed his weathered knuckles against Fell’s cheek. “You alright?”

Fell’s hand snapped up, closing around Red’s wrist and holding his hand in place as he turned to press a kiss to his palm. Red’s face colored in a surprised flush, but he forced out a snort as he started to clean up. “You’re not going soft on me, are you, Boss?”

Well, shit. Maybe he was, just a little. 

With a snort of derision, he dropped his eyes. His hold on the other’s wrist didn’t loosen however, just drifting down to his chest where he could hold the other’s hand close to his soul. 

“I would never.”


	108. Who in the Hecky...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans, this is why you should wear the wrist strap on the Wii controller.
> 
> So it's Pride Month! As I'm sure you guys may have figured out by now! I'm also sure you guys have heard of [Becky](beckyshecky.tumblr.com) by now! They're an AMAZING artist that everyone should be following, and we did a collab for pride month because we're both preeeetttty gay! I wrote this drabble, and then Becky turned it into a [comic!!!](https://beckyshecky.tumblr.com/post/162186791209/do-not-remove-credit-story-by-crushingonsans) The comic is like a million times better than the drabble, so don't even bother reading this, just go straight (lol) there!

“No! No, fuck you, Sans! No!”

Sans snorted, a side effect of his attempts to keep his amusement at this whole situation under wraps. He was failing miserably, of course, his shitty attempts at a calm facade fading to nothing as Red’s entire body leaned to one side. He was swearing under his breath as he tilted, the remote in his hands following the motion along with Sans. 

Seated in Red’s lap as he was, this whole tilting motion  _ really _ wasn’t working in his favor, and another NPC passed him, putting him in third place. For once, though, his competitive Mario Kart streak was quieted, and he didn’t try too hard to get his place back. He was ahead of Red, which was the important part. And...also...not  _ particuarly _ difficult. 

“Red, you fucking suck.”

Red cursed under his breath again, then reached out and grabbed the Wii Remote out of Sans’ hands, tossing it over his shoulder, past the couch, and completely out of Sans’ reach before continuing to try to get anything better than 12th place. 

“Dude.”

Red ignored him completely, fist pumping as he got a bullet power-up. 

“Red, I already crossed the finish line, and you probably just broke the remote.”

“I don’t give a  _ FUCK ME _ !” Red swore as one of the NPCs passed him right before they crossed the finish line, putting him as the solid loser of the round. 

Sans snickered, relaxing back into him in a lazy, comfortable sort of way. “Maybe later. Also, you know, it probably would have helped if you hadn’t gone the wrong way back in the second--”

He was cut off by Red standing abruptly, dropping his remote to loop his arms around Sans’ waist and drag him up with him. Sans let out a yelp of surprise, clinging to the other’s arm and trying to find his balance with his feet dangling a few inches above the floor. “Red! Put me down!”

“Nope. I have to restore some balance here. Can’t have you thinking you’re cool or anything,” Red said in a monotone, slipping one arm under Sans’ legs so that he could carry him bridal-style. Sans rolled his eyes, giving up and allowing himself to be carried up the stairs. 

“Am I allowed to ask where we’re going?”

“ _ You _ , my dearest, are going to a place you lived for most of high school and the beginning of your adult life.”

“...what?”

Red didn’t answer, walking down the hallway and kicking open his bedroom door. Sans only had a split second to smirk at him before he changed direction, headed for the closet instead of the bed. 

And just like that, it clicked.

“You dick!” Sans yelled, batting at him playfully as Red pulled open the closet door awkwardly. “It’s not like you didn’t do the exact same fucking thing!”

Red set him down (carefully) on the carpeted floor of the closet, planting a kiss on his cheek before leaning back, a hand on either door. 

“Joke’s on you,” he said, a shit-eating grin on his face. “I’m totally straight.”


	109. Tumblr Requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every request I've gotten so far on my [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com) that resulted in a drabble. Hope you guys enjoy!  
> Some of these are from back in April when I hit 100 Tumblr followers, and the rest are from the last couple days after I hit 200. Feel free to come make me more requests, I can't promise to do every one of them but I'll do the ones I can! (And I know there's one I haven't done yet, I'm sorry to the person that requested it! I will be getting around to it, it might just take a bit)

How _about someone (of your choice) walking in on Sf Sans practicing his very evil laughter(TM)? Reactions are up to you as well, have fun! *also, congrats on 100 followers!* - anon_

“MWEH! HEH! _HEEEEHHHHHH!!!”_

Red slowly turned his head to look upstairs, his brows scrunched in confusion. What in the fu–

“MWWEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HEEEHHHHHHHH! HHEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Slim was snickering and trying to hide it, attempting to just continue on with what they had been doing, and Red turned his attention back to him questioningly. 

“Is that Razz?”

“ _HHHEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”_

Slim snorted again, then covered it badly with a cough. “No?”

Red raised a brow, then gathered his magic, taking a quick shortcut outside Razz’s room and ignoring the warning Slim shouted after him. Pushing open the door, Red winced at the blast of sound assaulting him, then his eyes widened as they met Razz’s in the mirror. 

He was currently standing in a very strange [pose](http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxhvorBlC11r3ovdbo1_400.gif), his mouth hanging open as his new round of exaggerated maniacal laughter was cut off abruptly. After a few seconds, he straightened back up, folding his arms and glaring at Red.

“What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

* * *

 

_Alright Crush. Do you know what time it is? It's time for a good 'ol fashioned squad roasting session. Could be just everyone playfully insulting each other. Or it could be someone did a dumb, doesn't realize it's a dumb, and everyone else needs to get it through their head they're being stupid. Have fun with it. The victim(s) are your's to choose. - anon_

(I don’t know if this is quite what you wanted but I got this idea when I was reading your ask because I’d just watched [this](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVuv5OnnmqFc%26t%3D53s&t=MWU3Zjk4Mjc1MjUzOGRkNWY0MDUyMTY4MDY5MGYzZThjNWY5YmY5ZCwzMEtjMk14YQ%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159698109819%2Falright-crush-do-you-know-what-time-it-is-its&m=1)) (In fact I know this isn’t what you wanted because I’m pretty sure you wanted actual insults. I’m sorry, man, I’m tired)

Stretch stepped back from the camera, double-checking that the red light was on before he started. Sans and Blue were sitting off to the side, Sans snickering quietly and Blue with a long-suffering sort of look on his face. 

“Ready?”

Stretch smirked, reaching to the side and grabbing the flat-billed cap sitting on his bed. Reaching up very carefully, he settled it backwards on his head before loosely crossing his arms and leaning back, winking at the camera before he said, “Hell yeah I am.”

~~~

Fell was working along, minding his own business, when the notification popped up. He sighed, glancing up at the trap he was currently working on before pulling his phone out of his pocket, pulling up the video Sans had just sent to him. He frowned at the thumbnail, a shot of Stretch with some sort of hat on his head, an admittedly stupid look on his face. 

“What the fuck is this…?” he muttered at he pressed play. 

“HEY FELL!”

Fell snickered at the pure volume of the other’s voice, never having heard him be quite so loud.

“I BET YOU THOUGHT WE WERE COOL!”

_Yeah, Stretch. You’re incredibly cool. At all times. Especially right now._

“I BET! YOU THOUGHT! WE WERE JUST! CHILL!”

Blue’s voice came softly from off to the side, probably speaking to someone else. “Is he making puns about the snow because Fell is gonna be–”

“BUT NOPE, FUCKER, THIS IS WHAT WE ARE! YOU! ARE! FUCKING! _ROASTED”_

Fell honestly wanted to face-palm hard enough to pop his own skull off. What fucking idiots…

* * *

 

_*bURSTS INTO THE ROOM* CONGRATS ON 100 FOLLOWERS!!! (and if the drabble thing's still open, you should totally do a silly little errorlust fluff m a y b e) - Gallifreyan-pal_

Error groaned loudly, letting himself fall forward and his forehead crash into the table. 

Ink, Lust, and Blue turned their attention to him, Lust looking amused and the other two with looked of confusion. “Are you okay?”

Error groaned again, then growled out, “My legs are killing me.” Another moment went by, during which Blue lifted his hand as though to pat the other on the back before Ink grabbed his wrist, pulling it back down into the other’s lap as he shook his head in warning. 

“I fucking _hate_  you, Lust.”

Lust snickered, but Ink frowned, and Blue opened his mouth to reprimand the other on his language before he seemed to realize something. His eyelights grew, and he clasped his hands under his chin. “Did you guys…?”

Error looked up, glaring at him. “Did we what?”

Blue and Ink exchanged amused glances, then looked at Lust, who was grinning. “He wants to know if we fucked.”

“WHAT?!”

Lust snickered. “Nah, man. We just went to a trampoline par–”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP LUST!”

 

* * *

_ Well, how about a multiverse Easter egg hunt as a prompt? And all the shippy shit you want. I have no preference. The main problem? No one can find any eggs. Ink and Error forgot to hide them. -anon _

Blue was practically vibrating with excitement; despite being 26 years old, he had _seen_  the candy they’d been putting in those eggs, and was going to find ALL OF IT. Stretch, Sans, and Red were watching bemusedly from the sidelines, Papyrus being almost as excited as Blue and Fell slowly edging his way towards the other two, basket in hand, grumbling under his breath about how stupid of a tradition this was.

Sans glanced down at his watch: it was noon, on the dot. “Alright, guys,” he started, and everything went silent, everyone looking at him with rapt attention. “It’s time, go ahead.”

Fell took off at a dead sprint, pushing the other two roughly out of the way as he burst out the doors and started searching high and low for eggs. After a shout of protest, the other two were following quickly. Red sighed lowly as he heard his brother give a cry of frustration, pushing himself up from the wall and walking out into the main courtyard of the multiverse house. Sans and Stretch followed, snickering.

Walking along the upper balcony over the courtyard, Ink chattered to Error, who had long since tuned him out. Watching the others down in the courtyard below, he frowned. 

“InK?”

 Ink paused in his sentence, looking over at Error with interest. It wasn’t often he had much to say during these talks. “Yeah?”

“Did YOu fOrGEt to HIde tHe EggS aGaiN?”

Ink just stared at him uncomprehendingly. “What eggs?” He looked down intot he courtyard, and his eyelights blew out wide. “Oh! Are we having an Easter egg hunt?!”

Error’s groan of frustration could barely be heard over another of Fell’s screeches of rage.

 

* * *

 

_I have a drabble request if you're still accepting them: Lamia!Lust and/or Lamia! Red hypnotizes Sans into being their lover. Bonus points if one of them hisses into Sans' ear how much he'll love being their pet. - alanis-strife_

Warnings for general creepiness and the vibe that things aren’t gonna be totally consensual in the near future.

“ _Isn’t he gorgeous_?”

“ _Fuckin’ beautiful.”_

Sans looked around worriedly. He’d started off thinking the voices were only in his head, a side effect of whatever head injury he had sustained when he was knocked out cold. But after he realized that _something_  must have brought him here, he’d started to think that maybe the voices weren’t just inside his own head. 

“ _Oh, I just want to eat him up…”_

He jumped at the proximity of this voice, swinging around just in time to catch a flash of purple somewhere in the corridor. 

“ _Now, that would be no fun.”_

Sans went very, very still. This voice was right behind him. He was pretty sure he could touch the owner, if only he would reach his hands back and…

Slowly, carefully, he turned to look over his shoulder, but before he could get a glimpse of the creature, a pair of arms flashed around him, getting a firm grip before yanking him back to press against something solid. Sans stifled a scream as the creature that had ahold of him hissed, something tickling along the edges of his mandible. He felt something wrap firmly around his ankles, and looked down to see something red and scaled holding him immobile.

A flash of light caught his attention, and, chest heaving in panic, he looked up to see a pair of purple, slitted eyelights peering at him from the darkness. 

“ _Oh, he truly is a prize…I think we should keep him.”_

Sans felt the arms around him tighten, his captor’s fingers mapping out the bottom of his ribcage, then there was breath on the side of his skull, and he took in a deep breath to scream. 

One of the hands around his torso came up to cover his mouth quicker than he could finish drawing breath, pulling on his jaw until he was forced to turn his head towards his captor. 

“ _There’s no reason to scream. Don’t worry…”_

A flash of a gold tooth, deep red eyelights boring into his own, drawing him deeper. He could feel himself growing numb, but he…he didn’t really…

“ _You’ll love being our little pet.”_

 

* * *

 

_Hi ! Maybe some ClassicCherryBerry with a Red hurt and Sans and Blue who help him to get better ? =3 I love your writing, btw ;) -amynastre_

 

Red’s breaths were coming quickly, far too quickly, but he forced himself to keep them shallow. The injuries to his ribs were making every breath burn with pain, and he stumbled slightly as he walked up the steps, settling one hand on the handle to help himself keep his balance. 

Fuck, they were gonna _kill_  him. 

Forcing himself to calm down a bit, he turned the handle and let himself into the house, glancing around the living room to make sure neither of his partners were in sight. They were not, and he didn’t hear any crashing coming from the kitchen, so it was entirely possible that he could make it upstairs, to the bathroom and to the first aid kit, without them ever even noticing he was injured. 

He closed the front door as quietly as he could before starting the harrowing journey across the living room floor, reaching the stairs before pausing to take a break, steadying himself on the railing and swearing under his breath. 

“Red? Are you o–”

He swore again, trying to straighten and damn near letting out a cry of pain at the sudden movement. He could feel his legs trying to give out from under him, so he carefully lowered himself to sit on the steps. 

Sans appeared in his field of vision, leaning forward worriedly before drawing in a sharp breath as he caught sight of his torn, marrow-covered T-shirt. 

“Blue! Get down here, bring the first aid kit!” he called, reaching out to help Red lean back against the next step. “Red, what the hell?” he asked, more quietly. 

Red could hear Blue crossing the landing, thankfully getting the supplies before he started asking questions, practically running down the stairs as he saw the way Red was sprawled, obviously injured. 

“Fuckin’ Underfell _sucks_ ,” he breathed as Blue opened the first aid kit, unpacking it with startling efficiency. Red made a mental note to ask him why he knew his way around it so well. Later, though, he thought as another wave of pain washed over him. Definitely later. 

“Why were you in underfell?!” Sans asked worriedly, hands hovering uncertainly over the cloth of his shirt as though unsure if he should move it. 

“Boss had some…” he winced as Blue batted Sans’ hands out of the way, summoning a bone construct to neatly cut away the cloth in the way of his ministrations. “Some business with Undyne. Didn’t go so well.”

“ _Red_ …”

“I know, I know, leave me aloAAHH! Fuck, Blue! Give me a little warning next time!” Red exclaimed, flinching away as Blue set his rib with probably a little more force than was necessary. 

Blue just glared at him, reaching for a bandage. “Give us a little warning before you go try to get yourself killed, then!” Red was surprised to see tears brimming in his eyes, and he blinked. 

“Blue…” 

“Oh, shut up and talk to Sans. Move your arm.” The words didn’t contain any real vehemence, but Red could hear the worry laced through every word. He glanced over to Sans, who did his best to glare at him. The expression was somewhat ineffective, though, as he immediately reached out and grabbed hold of Red’s hand, lacing their fingers together. 

“Red, if you _ever_  do this again…”

“Yeah, I know…” he grinned shakily. “Next time I’ll be sure to just have Boss patch me up. A little tough love, y’know–ow!”

“Blue, maybe you shouldn’t hit him until he’s healed?”

 

* * *

 

_Can you write fluffy Rottenberry? With String Theory tearing my fucking heart out, I need happiness pls. - shadesofsilver14_

Blue glared down at the paper in his hands, blinking away tears. Rejected _again_. Why did Alphys even bother to send him these stupid notices?! Why couldn’t she just tell him to his face that he’d failed, that he hadn’t made it, that he would _never_  be good enough–

He tossed the papers down on the table, taking a deep breath and aggressively drawing his arm across his sockets. 

Bubble bath. This called for a bubble bath. 

He quickly made his way up the stairs, stopping by his room to grab his one giant sweatshirt and pair of sweatpants. He kicked off his boots almost aggressively, taking a strange sort of pleasure at the _thunk_  they made when they crashed into the bed frame. 

Shutting the bathroom door behind him, he stripped off his shoulder guards and vest, tossing them on the floor before putting the plug in the tub, starting the water. Tossing first one glove, then the other, over his shoulder, he turned to dig through the cabinets in search of the bubbles. 

Finally, he found it, hidden behind Razz’s first aid supplies under the sink. He turned around, dumping a copious amount into the tub, then tossed it back into the space, yanking his shirt over his head and quickly ridding himself of the rest of his clothes before stepping into the warm, fragrant, bubbly water, letting out a sigh of relief at the feeling. 

He glanced to his right, glaring at the mess strewn across the floor. Normally, it would bother him. 

He reached up, swinging the curtain closed before sinking deep into the water and closing his eyes. He could feel the bubbles tickling the edges of his sockets, and he reached up with one foot to turn off the water. 

With the quiet, and with the peace, he expected to be able to relax. But the thoughts that came every time he learned of another failure were assaulting him again, and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter against the urge to start crying again. Why couldn’t he be good enough? Why couldn’t he be bigger, stronger, why did he only have 1 HP? Why–

Someone was talking, their voice muffled by the water. Startled, his eyes shot open, turning to see Razz leaning over him in preparation to knock on the top of his head. They made eye contact for a moment before the hand was withdrawn, Razz grinning at him guiltily. 

“Hi. Are you okay?”

Wordlessly, Blue shook his head, sinking down a bit further in the water. His knees barely poked up above the surface of the bubbles, and he let his legs tip to one side, submerging his entire body except for his head. He glared down at what little he could see of himself through the bubbles. Their tub wasn’t even that big, but he could fit his whole dang body. Why was he so _small_?

The curtain was dropped, and Blue looked back over, surprised that Razz would just leave him there. That…wasn’t like him. He reached out, pushing the curtain aside, and immediately let it drop again as he caught a full view of the other’s bare back, shirt and armor already placed neatly to one side as he worked to get out of his pants. 

Blue’s face was on fire. He reached up, checking to make sure that there were no actual flames on his cheeks. It wasn’t like he hadn’t _seen_  it before, he just…

He really had not been expecting that. 

His blush got brighter as the curtain was tugged aside again, revealing his partner standing over him again. Blue looked down at his lap, feeling his phalanges fiddling with each other. 

“Scoot up,” came the other’s voice, the commanding tone still managing to carry a note of softness. Blue sighed, then obeyed, allowing Razz to get into the tub at his back. He felt the other wrap his arms around his ribcage, tugging him back to rest against the other’s sternum. Blue tucked his head back into the space just above the other’s shoulder and alongside his chin, humming contentedly when Razz pressed a quiet kiss to the side of his head. 

He could feel the other’s legs brushing against his own, hands searching out his smaller ones and curling their fingers together before bringing them back into Blue’s chest, holding him tightly. Razz didn’t say anything, just keeping him close and enjoying the warm water washing between their bones. Blue could feel the brush of his breath against his cheek, and he let his eyes fall closed, the urge to cry fading with every second.

No matter how many things he may lack, no matter how small he may be, he had one of the strongest, most steadfast people in the multiverse by his side. No matter what the rest of the world may think, Razz always saw him as more than he was. 

Even if he never made it into the royal guard, he would never be alone, and he would never _really_  be weak. 

He had Razz.

 


	110. Numbers and Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a thing stolen from ff net, looked like fun so I did it! Feel free to make your own list of characters and answer the questions yourself! Just tell me because I would love to read them???? You can do them with any characters, I just kept mine purely to skeletons. 
> 
> (also fuck it my formatting got messed up but i do not care enough to fix it honestly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- Pink (ULP)  
> 2- Red (UFS)  
> 3- Sans (UTS)  
> 4- Lust (ULS)  
> 5- Ink (IS)  
> 6- Error (ES)  
> 7- Stretch (USP)  
> 8- Papyrus (UTP)  
> 9- Fell (UFP)  
> 10- Blue (USS)  
> 11- Razz (SFS)  
> 12- Slim (SFP)

  1. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) dumps (1) for (9). (1), brokenhearted, goes on one date with (11), has an unhappy breakup with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).



_ Pink and Stretch are in a happy relationship until Stretch dumps Pink for Fell. Pink, brokenhearted, goes on one date with Razz, has an unhappy breakup with Slim, then follows the wise advice of Ink and finds true love with Sans. _

_ Sounds like the kind of drama some of ya’ll would love. _

 

  1. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?



_ (Papyrus) Me Too by Meghan Trainor, probably. That’s gotta be Paps’ theme song. _

 

  1. 3 told you that she will soon be getting married to 2. What is your reaction?



_ (Sans and Red) Either a lot of hand-flapping or a sort of “duh”. _

 

  1. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?



_ (Ink) It has certainly been a minute. I think I read at least part of Fixing Your Errors by SansyFresh last week? I don’t think I’ve read one about him since. _

 

  1. 6 kidnapped you, why is this?



_ (Error) Probably because he’s fucking insane? Also it’s not like he’s never kidnapped anyone before. _

 

  1. Does anyone on your friends list consider Three hot?



_ (Sans) I’m gonna go with yes because duh. Nope, not at all, no one I know thinks Sans is at all hot. _

 

  1. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what warning would it have?



_ (Pink, Error, and Slim) Oh fucking Christ almighty… I don’t even want to think about it. _

 

  1. 6 is extremely pissed off about something, why is this? And what will you do?



_ (Error) When is Error not pissed about something, honestly? And I would get the hell out of his way. _

 

  1. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?



_ (Ink/Fell or Ink/Blue) Ink/Blue because InkBerry is kinda cute but I’ve never even seen anything about Ink/Fell) _

 

  1. You and 9 get trapped in an elevator together. What happens? And who are the other random people with you two?



_ (Fell) Honestly probably sitting in opposite corners playing on our phones or something. I’m not about to bother someone who could and would shut me up in a not-so-fun way if he was feeling like it.   _

 

  1. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?



_ (Red and Error) Uh...no? Probably not? I haven’t really thought about it too much but the idea doesn’t appeal to me. _

 

  1. 8 confessed to be a part of your family.



_ (Papyrus) I’m just gonna go with it, honestly. Papyrus probably adopts people all the time. _

 

  1. 4 and 5 are having an argument. Why is this?



_ (Lust and Ink) Knowing Lust, he probably walked up and asked Ink if he could taste the rainbow, and Ink may or may not have threatened to let Error take out his AU. _

 

  1. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?



_ (Pink and Papyrus) Oh man I hope so, that would be sweet as fuck. Especially since I headcanon Paps as aro/ace so it would be like a brotp thing probably. But I could see Pink being discouraged at his lack of success with the royal harem and Papyrus would make him comfort oatmeal and they’d watch Ferris Bueller or something. _

 

  1. 2 writes you a love song, plays it for you, and then kisses you on the cheek.



_ (Red) CRUSH.EXE HAS CRASHED _

 

  1. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing?



_ (Stretch, Red and Slim) Depending on his mood? Either back out slowly, or really loudly go “WOW GUYS ARE U GONNA BONE?!” because he’s an obnoxious motherfucker. _

 

  1. Do you think Four is hot?



_ (Lust) I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter have you fucking seen him? _

 

  1. 7 cooked you dinner.



_ (Stretch) What the fuck did you put in it, is this a prank? _

 

  1. Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic?



_ (Stretch and Slim) Uh… Beautiful, it’s True. This question can fuck off. _

 

  1. 9 and 1 accidentally get hooked up on a dating website and are forced to go on a date together.



_ (Fell and Pink) “Accidentally”, huh, Pink? _

 

  1. 8 gets angry and starts cussing at 6 very loudly. 7 is watching it all and is interested...but why is this?



_ (Papyrus, Error, Stretch) Because holy fuck Papyrus is cussing someone out, lemme get the popcorn man. _

 

  1. Do you recall any fics about 9?



_ (Fell) Oh, y’know, one or two. There’s the occasional UnderFell fic here and there. _

 

  1. You are about to do something that will make you feel very embarrassed. Will 9 comfort you?



_ (Fell) Awkwardly and in his own way. He doesn’t quite know how to respond to something like that. _

 

  1. Does anyone on your friends list read 3?



_ (Sans) idk guys, have any of you ever read a fic about Sans? Sans the skeleton? Heard of him? He’s the little nerd that loves astronomy and Red and ketchup?  _

 

  1. Would anyone one of your friends list write about Two/Four/Five?



_ (Red, Lust, Ink) Honestly, Galli would probably write any combination of any of the guys up here. Ollie might if there was a meme involved.  _

 

  1. You're lying on the beach peacefully, and then you turn your head to see 1, 2, and 9, by the water wearing speedos.



_ (Pink, Red, Fell) I’m honestly not even surprised. _

 

  1. It's storming outside and 4 allowed you to stay with her at her place until it blows over. And your reaction to this kind gesture is?



_ (Lust) My reaction to this kind gesture with definitely no ulterior motives at all? Hmmm…..I’d have to think about it… _

 

  1. Have you read a 6 / 11 fanfic before?



_ (Error/Razz) Nope and I honestly do not have the inclination? _

 

  1. 5 wakes you up in the middle of the night.



_ (Ink) Dude I’m sure the multiverse can wait until the morning leave me along. _

 

  1. 1 asks to talk to you privately. When you are both alone, he admits to you that he is gay.



_ (Pink) ….Are you absolutely sure because im not really sure you’re sure that outfit is pretty straight dude and im pretty sure ive never ever seen you fuck another dude before sooooooooo _

 

  1. 5 gave you a teddy bear.



_ (Ink) ...k then???? _

 

  1. You and 10 go out for a picnic. Everything is peaceful until 2 crashes it by showing up and inviting you to go hang out at a cafe. Would you go with 2 or stay with 10?



( _ 10-Blue, 2-Red) WELL FUCK. Way to give me an impossible decision???????? I mean of course I’m gonna go with Red but I’m gonna feel really bad about it for like a whole hour! _

 

  1. 1 walked in on you while you were showering. What is your reaction?



_ (Pink) This is the third time this week, dude. _

 

  1. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?



_ (Slim, Papyrus) He’d step up and be a good dad and Papyrus would go EXTREME BABY SHOPPING. _

 

  1. You catch 10 looking at questionable material on the internet.



_ (Blue) I’m not terribly surprised but I am giggling madly every time I look at him or his significant other for like a month afterwards because oh my hell that is so funny to me. _

 

  1. Make up a summary of a 3/10 fanfic.



_ (Sans/Blue) Blue never expected his first patient to be quite so upbeat and full of jokes, especially when his clipboard was telling him that this patient was on suicide watch. (oh my god what do I have to do to get someone to write this, I need it now????)  _

 

  1. All the listed characters get into a very epic and all-out battle. Who will be the last one standing?



_ Okay first of all fuck yes?? Secondly, it’d be Papyrus. Sans is the most powerful person in the multiverse, especially since Ink and Error would be focusing all of their attention on each other and would then narrow down that power. So Sans would be able to take the rest of them out, but would protect Papyrus more than he protects himself. And if it was left as just the two of them? Sans isn’t about to let himself be the one left.  _

 

  1. 7 is having relationship problems, 4 tries to help him out but her advice isn't helpful. Your thoughts about this predicament? 



_ (Stretch, Lust) Lust, you can’t just tell everyone to “suck their dick under the table”, that is not a way to solve most problems. _

 

  1. Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?



_ (Razz) *Narrows my eyes most especially at Ollie* _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would actually kill for that Sans/Blue fic??? If you write it please tell me I want to read it so bad now


	111. fk u ollie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so if you haven't heard of [Ollie_Oxen_Free](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ollie_oxen_free), you are living your life wrong. They have a ton of fantastic fics and because of the fact that we're both assholes we ended up friends, LUCKY FOR YOU GUYS
> 
> We get up to a lot of shit on Discord so I thought I'd share (with permission) so enjoy whatever the fuck this is. If you scan through you will come across many a wonderful Undertale headcanon, if you aren't interested in the fuckery.

**Crush:** hey stretch can you do me a favor? (Sure, if you stop talking about having sex with my brother) oh okay yeah that sounds good (what did you want) I need someone to film me having sex with your brother

~~~

**Crush:** OLLIE DO YOU REMEMBER THE DONT JUDGE CHALLENGE?

BECAUSE HOW FUNNY WOULD IT BE IF LIKE FREAKIN RAZZ AND BLUE HAD MUSICALLYS AND THEY DECIDED TO DO THIS CHALLENGE

AND BLUE ACTUALLY DOES IT PROPERLY, LIKE DRAWING A MUSTACHE ON HIS FACE OR WHATEVER

BUT RAZZ JUST FREAKIN USES RED AS HIS BEFORE SHOT

**Ollie:** "razz, why the fuck did you use my picture" what are you talking about. thats me. "its a picture of me, asshole!" no? its me before i had my glow up *flexes*

**Crush:** All the comments are "wow that's some really ugly makeup how did he do that" and red is so offended but then he actually looks at who was commenting and they're all sans

"babe! Rude!"

~~~

**Crush:** Slim's like "fuck you I will go set myself on fire right the fuck now and then we'll see who's hottest"

**Ollie:** "we'll see how hot you are when i launch you into the fucking sun" what? "what?"

~~~

**Ollie:** i long to have enough free time to sit down and watch a "funniest vines" compilation all the way through

**Crush:** I usually put them on in the background while I so shit

Like dual screens while I write or whatever

**Ollie:** i have enough trouble focusing with only 1 tab open to docs and writing

i cannot Multitask

**Crush:** Lol same. I should say I do dual screens but I only actually watch the vines. I have my docs open to make me feel better about myself XDDD

**Ollie:** "if it is open and the typing line is blinking then i am technically doing a thing"

**Crush:** #my life

**Ollie:** hitting the space bar once or twice so docs saves the updated version and makes you feel better about yourself ~just writer things~

**Crush:** When you know you have to write 3000 words but you check the word count after writing for two minutes

**Ollie:** when you write a sentence and go back to the beginning of the 4000 word chapter youve written to see if it makes cohesive sense

**Crush:** When you reread your entire fic bc you're procrastinating writing the next chapter, but the first chapter is so bad that you have to close the tab

**Ollie:** this is getting too real

~~~

**Crush:** Gotta make things weird, it's no fun otherwise

~~~

**Ollie:** i mean i had to train myself on 4 hrs of sleep just to continue to be able to write and shit

**Crush:** Sleep is 4 the weak btch

Ayyyyyyy unintentional pun

**Ollie:** where is the pun

oh the 4

**Crush:** Behold the pun master

*waves hands around

**Ollie:** ur a 4-ce to b reckoned with

bet u didnt 4 c that one coming

**Crush:** I see you didn't 4-get how to pun

**Ollie:** dude i am the fucking pun master

**Crush:** I can't a-4-d not to see them coming

**Ollie:** that one was good

**Crush:** Why thank you, my puns are 4midible

~~~

**Ollie:** u think i wont fucking punch a dolphin?

wait thats a whale

~~~

**Crush:** What's 2017 minus 12

So did mine lol

**Ollie:** 2005

**Crush:** That's totally the year I was born

**Ollie:** its..... its simple math crush

mmmm yea

i bet

**Crush:** I'm so 12

How does it feel to read smut written by a 12 year old

**Ollie:** it feels like a toddler is better at writing porn than me

**Crush:** I've had lots of practice

Lit childhood

~~~

**Don’t even  _ ask _ about the context to this one**

**Ollie:** "sir, should we have the ape slowly turn around on a swivel chair as it pets a cat?" donnavan, u r a genius, someone get this man a raise

**Crush:** Tag urself I'm Donovan

**Ollie:** yea i figured

**Crush:** I spelled my own name wrong shit

**Ollie:** donaven ur fired

**Crush:** You just spelled my name wrong too wtf

Ur fired sir

**Ollie:** u can see how important ur name actually is to me, done-a-van

**Crush:** *somewhere in the distance" dude, that guy fucked a van

**Ollie:** i hate you stop making me laugh im supposed to b the funny one dammit

this is y im firing u

**Crush:** U can't fire me I'm your son

**Ollie:** the prodigal son but in reverse, i adopt a kid off the streets and he steals all my fucking money and runs away

**Crush:** Tag urself I'm the son

~~~

**Crush:** ......I mean true and I appreciate da tiddy as much as the next lesbian but fuck that lmao

~~~

**Ollie:** i too am small and angry

**Crush:** Same except I'm not small or angry usually

**Ollie:** "yea im small and angry too except im not either of those things"

**Crush:** Exactly I don't see a flaw in that logic

~~~

**Crush sends Ollie a shitty drawing of Razz**

**Ollie:** hes fuxking flexingg in the mirror i cant

god he tries to b tough but hes just a nerd, hes just a huge fucking nerd

**Crush:** And like take selfies and "accidentally" send them to everyone in his contacts

"oh sorry I didn't mean to grace you with God's gift to the world"

**Ollie:** "slim got on my phone and posted this lol dont kno y or how but its not too bad"

and slim never denys it so no1 knos the truth

**Crush:** *tags an obviously photoshopped photo on instagram #natural #nofilter*

**Ollie:** headcanon: razz is an instagram whore

**Crush:** Guys wow I accidentally posted this nude how embarrassing everybody look at it now here's a link

**Ollie:** blue encourages it

**Crush:** Blue took the nudes

**Ollie:** razz: *sends stretch a sexy photo* oh sorry ha ha i mean to send that to your brother       stretch: this is the fifth fucking time this week

**Crush:** "I know, aren't you lucky?"

Once, Blue took a picture of his own body and used paint, like the computer program, to draw lines near his eye and color his magic purple then posted it on Instagram like "wow I'm razz look at me"

**Ollie:** it gets more likes than any one of razz's photos

**Crush:** Razz is so fuckin mad "that doesn't even look like me" "I know babe that's why it has so many likes"

In unrelated news blue has no chill

**Ollie:** I CANT

blue is either 0 or 100 no in between

**Crush:** "oh honey, you know I've never loved anyone more than I've loved you" five minutes later, scrolling through Razz's Instagram feed "lmao who is this nerd"

"um that's me?" "Ohhhh okay is this from your awkward high school goth phase?" "Blue that was yesterday" "was it?" "You took that damn picture"

**Ollie:** one second hes talking abt how much he loves razz, and then he absolutely fucking disses him in the next breath

"razz is the love of my life, also did you guys kno that he yells at the tv when he watches chopped, shouting advice at the screen like they can actually hear him?"

**Crush:** He's talking to stretch one day and all in the same sentence "you know, I've actually never felt this way about anyone before. It almost makes up for the fact that I have to fake an orgasm like every single night"

**Ollie:** oh my god.

razz would hear and blue would not be able to walk for the next week

**Crush:** stretch notices him walking funny "what's wrong" "I pulled a muscle faking an orgasm"

**Conversation devolves to Blue insulting Razz’s dick size, and other not-quite COSOS-appropriate topics including but not limited to:**

**Ollie:** "razzamatazz" "youve killed my boner"

**Crush:** "oh, there was a boner? Sorry, forgot my microscope downstairs"

~~~

**Crush:** im trying to hype up to write

**Ollie:** write some goddamned shit you got this babe

go go go go

~~~

**Crush:** this blue is such a dick what have i done

~~~

**Ollie:** show me the Worst Thing Ever

~~~

**Crush:** The pizza goblin thing though, I could imagine slim making it into this big thing. Like...buys himself a deerstalker and decides he's Sherlock Holmes, out to solve the case

Except instead of actually investigating he just gets high again. Because "high me knows the answers"

**Ollie:** i cantfuxkfin

i was gonna say something abt it but that was so much better

**Crush:** Razz comes home and slim is dressed in a deerstalker and a black trenchcoat and is just absolutely fucking blazed

"what are you doing" "investigating, brother. He's coming"

**Ollie:** omfg razz freaks out for like a split second b4 he realizes slim is high and he just

"what! whos coming!?"

"him."

**Crush:** "are you actually playing the pronoun game with me right now, this is serious! Are we in danger?" "Wait who are you? Are you the pizza goblin?"

"what the fuck papyrus, I'm your brother?!" "Nah, my brother is short and has a stick up his ass."

~~~

**Ollie:** u keep calling me out like this and i swear im gonna finish every one of my fics and the last chapter on all of them is gonna be "fuck you crush"

the end

**Crush:** in that case im definitely going to keep callin you out

~~~

**Crush:** wait how did we get from razz dying to bras

~~~

**More conversations I can’t include but here are the highlights**

**Ollie:** "hey sorry we're running lace- i mean late guys, but razz had to do some lingerie- i mean laundry"

.

**Crush:** Stretch comes in one day, blank-eyed. "Slim, end me" "I mean sure but why?" "My brother has a closet of pain." "Oh man do I have something to show you"

.

**Ollie:** slim getting high as a fucking kite and walking out of razz's closet of frills and hes just got every piece of lingerie hanging from him like hes some kinda clothesline and there are people over and he just walks out into the living room and lays down on the fucking carpet

every1 is like "wtf!"

**Crush:** Slim goes to the swap household with the underwear on his head and he starts talking to stretch and he thinks it's super funny and everything until Blue comes downstairs and is like "Why do you have Razz's underwear on your head?" "WAIT THOSE ARE RAZZ'S WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT'S RAZZ'S"

oh my fuckin

and Sans and red are like "wow those are some weird doilies for this ugly-ass table"

.

**Crush:** Slim pipes up from the floor "hey do you guys think i'd look hot if i wore all of these at once"

**Ollie:** "youd look pretty hot if i set you and all that shit on fire at the same time" "papy, please!" razz just scoffs and "well, it is pretty flammable *looks at blue* we learned that from flame play." "for fucks sake"

~~~

**Ollie:** why does every conversation we have eventually dissolve into (kinda) rottenberry roleplay?

~~~

**Crush:** we seriously just need to bite the bullet and do an rp story thing

**Ollie:** when i was a kid i used to put spent shotgun shells in my mouth and pretend i was a civil war soldier and bite so hard that i bent them

**Crush:** thats so metal

**Ollie:** was that a fucking pun

~~~

**Ollie:** should i do the gaster/temmie makeout

~~~

**Ollie:** mmm wow thank you for that

**Crush:** you are so welcome

**Ollie:** i was looking for a reason to destroy the entire human race

~~~

**Crush:** ugh okay fuck this

i was going to finish this chapter of st

but i have 1300 words left

**Ollie:** dude if ur burnt out then sleep on it

jesus fuck

**Crush:** lol

**Ollie:** just write the word "fuck" 1300 times

~~~

**Crush:** how dare you man

storing invisible drugs in paint roller bags

~~~

**Ollie:** i ate a pack of ramen while i was reading the st upd8 and then i ate 4 krispy kreme doughnuts so fast that i threw up but eyyyy nice upd8 dude

**Crush:** I don't even know how to begin to respond to that

~~~

**Crush:** And idk I'm a stranger online I could be a forty year old man u don't know

That skeeves some people out

And you're pretty fuckin lit bro

**Ollie:** well ur a p cool 40 y/o stranger so i mean i aint worried

aww shit im lit

nice

(~￣▽￣)~

**Crush:** Oh man I'm a cool forty-five year old?? Oh I gotta tell my kids they'll love this

various gang signs

(note: I don't actually have kids I'm an 18-year-old virgin)

**Ollie:** (note: ive known u for long enough to kno ur a virgin y did u feel the need to clarify)

**Crush:** (Note: because shut up that's why)

**Ollie:** lmfao

is it just like

compulsive?

*meets some1 new* hi yes hello im a virgin

**Crush:** Nah man they can tell just by looking at me

I wear my "I'm a virgin" shirt all the time

~~~

**Crush:** I am reading the bible

I'm reading string theory

That's the new bible

~~~

**Crush:** Really? What dong???

song*

**Ollie:** lmfai

**Crush:** fuck im never gonna live that down am i

**Ollie:** fuck i did it too

trying to mock u

~~~

**After Ollie showed Crush the song “Sloppy Seconds” by Watsky and said it was good for Kustard**

**Crush:** I can see Red singing this to Sans in the kitchen while they're doing shitty swing-dancing and everyone else is in the living room shaking their heads and pretending to tune them out.

Fell around the corner wondering how the hell Red is managing to sound so happy. He hasn't heard that big of a smile in his voice in years

"I don't care where you've been, how many miles, I still love you"

**Ollie:** red is a surprisingly good rapper

**Crush:** someone says that to him and he's all offended "what do you mean surprisingly??"

**Ollie:** and suddenly sans joins in and you hear a soft duet as they lock eyes and smile "and there is not a single place that i would rather be, im fucked up just like you are and you're fucked up just like me"

pft

**Crush:** I'm an emotionally compromised teenage girl

**Ollie:** same

**Crush:** you're not a teenager

**Ollie:** i am in spirit

~~~

**Ollie:** ( ͡° ͜( ͡° ͜( ͡° ͜( ͡° ͜( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°)

~~~

**Ollie:** hes a national treasure like theres so much fucked up but as long as theres thomas sanders and canned ravioli then i am at Peace

~~~

*after Crush showed Ollie some lit sans fanart*

**Ollie:** sans zip up ur fucking jacket

**Crush:** sans please dont zip up ur fucking jacket im really enjoying the view

**Ollie:** crush calm ur thirsy ass down and hand that boi an umbrella

i thought you wanted to fuck red

what is this nonsense

**Crush:** i would honestly fuck any sans

~~~

**Crush:** im spamming you with the art i have saved and you have no choice in the matter

~~~

**Ollie:** outerfell, more like hot topic in space

~~~

**Ollie:** i'll get like

**Crush:** .....?

**Ollie:** a burst of stamina where i fucking go thru almost all of tumblr

i didnt click enter

im a fucking idiot

this is what happens when u send multiple short messages at once like a dumbass

anyways

**Crush:** *as you continue to send multiple short messages

**Ollie:** leave me Alone

pst hey u wanna see a sad thing

**Crush:** hell yeah

is it ur face

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Ollie:** okay

no sad for u then

(jk)

**Crush:** plz show me the sad

~~~

**Crush:** ill fuckin touchy you when i punch you in the face

~~~

**Crush:** I have a lot of kinks but "fill me with ur spawn" is not one of them

~~~

**Crush:** he cant cuddle with his invisible dick hanging off the side of the bed o no

~~~

**Ollie:** in other news stretch is a fucking romantic who sucks at romance

~~~

**Crush:** just so you know this one is your fault i got inspired by that song

**Ollie:** aww fucking sweet yo

im an inspiration

**Crush:** an inspiration for smth for sure

**Ollie:** um

excuse u

i am a goddamned gift to humanity

~~~

**Ollie:** fell pronounces it wrong on purpose to piss people off "hey babe, look at this pic" "ah, i see. is this a mee-mee?" "i.... no, its meme." "maymay?" "meme" "mahmah" "okay so now youre not even pronouncing the wrong thing correctly, how do you get mahmah from meme."

**Crush:** starts calling them meeps

walks up to teenagers in public "have you seen this donk meep its lit up"

**Ollie:** fell would be such a good dad

**Crush:** stretch in the background "I want a divorce"

god yes

**Ollie:** embarrasses his kid on purpose and his husband

he goes out and buys some fucking crocs and polos and kakhi shorts

*khaki

**Crush:** 10/10 would not only call the waitress by her first name, but give her a nickname. Like her nametag says Amelia, and he's like calling "AMY!" across the restaurant and shit

**Ollie:** fell the suburban dad

**Crush:** wears baseball hats sideways and drives with one hand at the top of the wheel, headbanging to classical music with the windows rolled down to pick his kid up from school

At any event ever "Who is that guy? He looks kind of scary, should he be allowed in here." "He's my dad and definitely fucking not." Fell from across the room "HELLO ARE YOU CORBEL'S FRIENDS??? NICE TO MEET YOU HES A VERY BEAUTIFUL BOY DID YOU KNOW THAT AS A BABY HE FELL OUT OF HIS CRIB THREE TIMES???"

**Ollie:** "hey corbel, whos that?" "um. i dont know." * fell sitting in a low-riding minivan with all the windows down and an arm hanging out of the side as MCR blasts from the stereo * "CORBEL, BUCKO, COME ON ITS TIME TO GO HOME BUDDY"

**Crush:** "Idontknowyouidontknowyouidontknowyou..."

Stretch pops up in the backseat "Coooooooooorrrbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**Ollie:** im fucking

**Crush:** If stretch was picking him up alone he would roll up and every single time be like "Hey kid can you help me find my puppy i have candy in here"

**Ollie:** fell diving through the window in corbel's school, holding a pink, flower-covered lunchbox over his head "CORBEL YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!" "dad, for fucks sake, im 19 stop breaking the windows in my college!" "...i cut the crusts off of your sandwich and peeled your orange for you *leans over to a student who's looking at him in horror* he had trouble peeling them, did you know that when he was little he tried to peel an orange and started crying because his cute little hands were too small to-" "DAD FOR FUCKS SAKE"

**Crush:** I'm snorting that is so cute

**Ollie:** fell the overbearing dad and stretch the dad who encourages him to do stupid stuff

**Crush:** "THATS IT IM STAYING AT UNCLE RED'S FOR THE NIGHT" "Don't forget your toothbrush, and don't talk to strangers. That includes Red, he's strange as hell."

**Ollie:** "dad, can i get my field trip permission form signed?" "oh really? where you going?" "the zoo!" "....okay listen, im not signing this shit unless you agree to fight a bear at the zoo"

**Crush:** I could see Fell attempting to terrify Corbel's first girlfriend/boyfriend and they're just trying not to laugh the whole time becuase he didn't realize he's still wearing an apron that says "kiss the cock" that Stretch got him for their anniversary.

**Ollie:** "be home by 10" "okay dad" "call me when you get there" "okay dad" "dont do anything stupid like your father would do" "okay dad" "do you have your pepper spray?"

**Crush:** "don't do anything stupid like your father would do" I'm dead

**Ollie:** "dad im literally walking down the road like 2 blocks to do an assignment with some friends"

**Crush:** Stretch is like "get lots of pussy for me"

**Ollie:** "you didnt answer my question"

stretch what the hell

~~~

**Crush:** I'm so

im writing seasons change

and theres this part where someone tries to buy blue as a slave and razz is like nah

and all i can think is every fight they ever have ever again it's gonna be like Razz: dude what the heck Blue: You almost sold me as a slave that one time shush Razz: Yeah but I didn't

and i cna't tell if its insensitive to be laughing at that

**Ollie:** "i want to go to (restaurant)" "uh, fuck no, we're going to (different restaurant)" "hey remember that time you almost sold me as a slave?" "god fucking- fine. we'll go to your fucking place, jesus shit"

~~~

**Crush:** Hey weird question, after you're done talkin bout razz in the chat lol

I'm having trouble with the phrasing of this line

“With the right strength of will, I’m sure change is possible.” He set the pieces of his breastplate aside, tilting his head to one side and regarding Blue carefully. “But you have to want it. I can assure you that, as hypothetical as I’m sure this question is, I have no desire to act [like something from a sugar-coated hell] like you.”

The ideal thing to put in the brackets would be "all sunshine and saccharine" but ive already used that phrase. is there another way i could say that that's a little more subtle than the sugar-coated hell thing?

nvm i got it XDDD

**Ollie:** okay cool glad i could help

**Crush:** ur the real mvp

**Ollie:** thank u i try

~~~

**Crush:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTaqcGz2O5o&index=25 I don't know why but I keep picturing Blue as Zayn in this music video and I just...

**Ollie:** okay but that actually suits him really really well?

its literally blue's aesthetic?

**Crush:** right????

especially the shoes, the image of Blue in a pair of those LED shoes is SO PERFECT

like he would wear those at home and turn all the lights off and put on headphones and turn the volume up all the way and just dance in the hall to music only he can hear

which sounds super poetic until Razz comes upstairs to a totally dark house only to go upstairs and find his soulmate kicking around

**Ollie:** oh man thats adorable

he comes home to a dark house and hes just like "?????? blue?????" and he fucking walks upstairs blindly and just sees like these fucking shoes moving around near the floor real aesthetically and stuff and he gets this little half smile because he can hear blue humming along to the lyrics of whatever song he's listening to and so he quietly goes into their room without the other noticing and puts on a pair of fucking light-up sketchers and slowly walks out into the hallway and starts dancing along to the tune his soulmate is humming and blue sees like these lights from behind his closed eyes and he opens them up and razz is just there in the fucking sketchers (im wheezing they're both huge fucking nerds) and he laughs and pulls his headphones from his phone and plays the music out loud and theyre both just swinging around in the darkness semi-blind with lights on their shoes and joy in their laughs

~~~

**Crush:** um fuk u ollie ur meme r shit

memes*

fuck

**Ollie:** you fugidn

insult my memes

you fucikgin

thems fighting words

**Crush:** damn right

insultin ur mee-mees

**Ollie: *** stretch yelling from miles away* "ITS FUCKING PRONOUNCED 'MEMES'!!!!"

~~~

**Crush:** Okay so if you have headphones listen to this song ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfD96yRT8cs&index=15 ) and close your eyes and imagine Blue and Razz absolutely exhausted after a really bad day, and they're just crashed on the couch, Blue wrapped up in Razz's arms with his back against Razz's front and their eyes are closed and they're sharing earbuds to listen to this song. Razz is mumbling along to the lyrics and sort of doing that touch thing where you're just reaffirming to yourself that the other person is still there. Blue's just smiling, completely quiet, unable to believe that this is his lot in life, even though it has been for years now. They're happy.

And then there's the sound of a breaking window, and they look over to see Slim hurriedly pulling down the curtain before sprinting into the laundry room and hiding inside the dryer somehow, and they're so confused right up until Stretch appears close behind him with L-O-S-E and part of an R written on his forehead in sharpie, demanding to know where the traitor has gone

**Ollie:** Crush I leave for five minutes to listen to this song and you come in here and add these memes to my fluff

unbelievable

~~~

**Ollie:** i mean my paps is ace all the way (though ive made jokes abt him having sex b4), and ive just liked the thought of slim, whos only ever really had one night stand and the occasional fuck, falling for this legitimate ray of sunshine that wants to help everyone he sees and like holy fuck he wants this guy to like him and enjoy being around him how does he impress him and flirt? and papyrus gets him to open up about some of the darker shit he deals with and in turn slim doesnt treat him with a patronizing attitude and jokes around with him and tends to tell him shit as it is

and they look at cat memes together

~~~

**Crush sends a screenshot of someone being angry that they’re made of bones and adds the caption “stretch and slim”, I can’t find the post to link it** 

**Ollie:** "DUDE THATS SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT" "okay okay okay, i get ya, but just real quick i need you to look up what your spine is made of" "....its bones, isnt it." "....i'm sorry." "FOR FUCKS SAKE"

**Crush:** They're doing this out loud, blazed off their asses, while their brothers sit and try to decide if they should be responding to this or not

**Ollie:** like stretch and slim are the kinda high people who do stupid shit all the fucking time, but sans and red just. they just lie down and stare off into the distance

**Crush:** They occasionally pipe up with some sort of, like, deep existential shit and the other ones just like ugh

Sans: "red, how many lightbulbs does it take to change people" Red: "Nuuuuuuu..."

**Ollie:** sans: reaches over and grabs reds hand and links their fingers together "dude, we're like. fuckin spaceships. we're hurtling through space on a ball of water and rock that is slowly being destroyed by our existence, trying to live our lives that are insignificant in the vast scheme of things" red: "....nyoom"

**Crush:** The best part about this though is I could see Papyrus and Fell watching them, totally and completely sober, and after a second, Papyrus turns to Fell and is like "oh my God he's right"

~~~

**Ollie:** "hey blue ive been taking dances lessons" "really? i thought that dance didn't like you after you started calling every dance the macerena" "no i took them from lust" *music starts playing, razz is dancing, lust is in the background with sunglasses on looking extremely proud*

**Crush:** "i thought that dance didn't like you after you started calling every dance the macerena" okay but same

**Ollie:** dance is like doing a bunch of really fucking intense flips "wow, thats a really hardcore macerena"

ballet is calm macerena

**Crush:** I snorted

**Ollie:** salsa is Spanish macerena

**Crush:** what does he call the actual macarena

macarena squared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus (today's highlight):
> 
> CrushingOnSans - Today at 11:35 PM  
> i cant even  
> ollieoxenfree - Today at 11:35 PM  
> i cant odd  
> CrushingOnSans - Today at 11:38 PM  
> u no wat  
> ollieoxenfree - Today at 11:38 PM  
> wat  
> CrushingOnSans - Today at 11:39 PM  
> :middle_finger:  
> ollieoxenfree - Today at 11:40 PM  
> o no  
> CrushingOnSans - Today at 11:40 PM  
> ya  
> ollieoxenfree - Today at 11:40 PM  
> well u no wat  
> CrushingOnSans - Today at 11:40 PM  
> wat  
> ollieoxenfree - Today at 11:40 PM  
> :cry:  
> u maek me cri  
> CrushingOnSans - Today at 11:42 PM  
> gud  
> btch  
> ollieoxenfree - Today at 11:43 PM  
> o no  
> crush  
> y  
> CrushingOnSans - Today at 11:43 PM  
> fk u  
> ollieoxenfree - Today at 11:43 PM  
> y u do thsi


	112. Needtobreathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I found this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VlsHLbPoJA) a really long time ago but i just listened to it again and had to write something around it.
> 
> If it's not obvious, it goes Tale, Fell, Swap, SF

_ Brother, let me be your shelter _

 

“Sans!”

He jolts from the sudden noise, nearly falling off the couch in surprise. Somewhat chagrined, Sans pops his head over the back of the couch, raising a brow in question of the other’s raised tone. “What is it, bro?”

Papyrus was standing on the stairs, phone clutched in his hands and a smile bright enough to rival the core on his face. 

“Undyne has agreed to let me be an official sentry!”

It takes a moment for it to process, having just woken up from a nap like he had, but as soon as it does, he’s up and off the couch, shortcutting across the room to throw his arms around Papyrus’s waist. 

“Paps! That’s great!”

“I know!” Papyrus is practically jumping up and down, threatening to dislodge Sans and send him toppling down the stairs with every movement. “It’s wonderful! Fantastic! The Great Papyrus will finally--”

“You’ll have the  _ guts _ to join the royal guard, huh?”

Papyrus pauses, then huffs, carefully detaching his smaller brother from his waist and putting him down on the steps beside him. “Sans!”

 

_ I’ll never leave you all alone _

 

Dust blowing in the wind, a blood-red scarf wrapped securely around his neck as he trudges through the snow. Nothing is left, and even if there was, Sans wouldn’t notice. He wouldn’t want to notice anything.

He’s in the golden hall, awaiting the human. Awaiting the same fight, the same death, over and over again. He  _ hates _ it. He would do anything, honestly, to see it--

“RING!”

He jolts awake to sound of his brother’s voice, actually yelling the word “ring” through the half-open door to his bedroom. 

“It’s time to get up, Sans! You can’t just laze around all day, even if it is your day off!”

Sans stares at the stream of light coming through the open doorway, his mind rolling with something half-remembered, something that has tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto his hands. 

“Yeah...yeah, alright. I’ll be out in a minute.”

 

_ I can be the one you call _

 

Sans jumps about a foot when he hears Papyrus’s voice next to his ear, spinning around clumsily and throwing his hands up in front of his face in a way that nearly ends with his falling off his stool and onto his ass. 

He focuses, after a moment, and recognizes his brother, drunken smile stretching across his face and one arm going to sling around his neck.

“Hey, bro!” He says happily, and he doesn't catch the twitch of Papyrus's mouth, or the tears that are brimming in the rims of his sockets. 

“What are you doing here, Sans?” he sighs, more to himself than as an actual question. 

Sans cocks his head to one side, turning to look at the bottles that sit on the counter, then back to his brother. “Drinking?” he tries, still oblivious to the other’s distress. 

Papyrus just sighs, thanking Grillby quickly before looping an arm under Sans’ shoulders and helping him to stand. 

“Let's go home.”

 

_ When you’re low _

 

Papyrus stays quiet, holding out his arms without a second thought and squeezing tightly when Sans immediately falls into them. His shoulders are shaking with sobs, and Papyrus rubs his back carefully, feeling the soft, worn cloth of his blue jacket under his fingers. 

“Brother,” he says quietly, voice far lowered from it's normal volume.

“I'm s-sorry…” Sans sobs, words mauffled by Papyrus’ scarf. “I'm sorry I'm s-such a piece of sh-shi--”

“No,” he immediately interrupts, taking hold of Sans’ shoulders and pushing just enough to be able to look him in the eye. “Do  _ not _ say that. Never say that. You are wonderful.”

Sans doesn't say anything, tears still rolling down his cheeks as he avoids looking him in the eye. 

Papyrus sighs, drawing him back into a hug. “I love you, Sans. And that will never change. You will never be lonely, not if I have anything to say about it!” Then he makes a face. “Or, I suppose,  _ bonely _ .”

Sans snorts out a laugh, and Papyrus grins. He doesn't let go until Sans’ shoulders have stilled completely and tears have stopped soaking into his scarf. 

 

~~~

 

_ Brother, let me be your fortress _

 

As soon as the small cry of distress teaches him, Sans is on his feet, spinning around and taking off at a dead sprint as his magic flares and searching for the small figure of his brother. 

He spots him quickly, screaming out again as a much bigger monster, a full-grown fucking adult swings a fist. His arms are up, desperately protecting his head, and Sans can practically feel his own soul shatter as he sees the injuries that already litter the tiny body. 

He'd only taken his eyes off of him for  _ one second _ , just long enough to search through a promising pile of junk…

“Back off, fucker!” he screams as he approaches, entirely aware that he doesn't look at all threatening at barely three feet tall, with his striped shirt filled with rips.

The other monster turns toward him with a snarl, then laughs. “Seriously?” he says, eyes crinkling. He's some kind of water-type, covered in scales and nearly six feet tall. “The fuck do you think you're gonna do? Little fucker got in my--”

Sans summons a blaster, never slowing his approach for a second. His anger and fear steals his control, and the grinning skull comes out nearly three times the other monster’s size. As the hum of the charging magic fills the air, the adult's eyes widen. 

“ _ Get away from him.” _

 

_ When the night winds are driving on _

 

“It's...it's for your protection!” Papyrus's teeth shifted, watching the look on Sans’s face carefully. Sans was still staring at the band of leather like it was about to bite him, so he pressed on, hoping he didn't sound as desperately unsure as he felt. “Now that I'm Lieutenant, I have a reputation, and I--”

“It's fine, Boss,” Sans murmured quietly, reaching out to the collar that Papyrus was holding so tightly between his hands. He loosened his hold, allowing Sans to take it, and watched nervously as he looked it over. 

“This doesn't mean that I truly... _ own _ you. It will just appear that way to the public.” 

Papyrus can practically see the wheels turning in Sans’ head. He can practically already hear the protests that Sans can defend himself perfectly well without his little brother there to hold his hand for him. 

But then Sans unbuckles it, slipping it around his neck and fumbling with the class until it’s closed. His finger longer for a moment, as though unsure, then his arms drop to his sides, and he grins. 

“Whatcha think, Boss? Do I look  _ fetching _ ?”

 

_ Be the one to light the way _

 

It's several moments before Sans realizes that Papyrus is crying. 

His hands immediately jump to his face, cupping his cheeks and making him look up, doing his best to force the pain out of his own eyes. 

“Deep breaths” he murmurs, and Papyrus flinches. He reaches up, brushing his fingers against his own cheek and leaving behind a smear of Sans’ marrow on the bone. He hadn't known he was crying, apparently, and he narrows his eyes as he feels the wetness there. 

“For fuck’s sake,” he hisses to himself, and Sans can't help the grin that stretches across his face. 

“It's okay, baby bro,” he coos, “I'm gonna be okay, buddy.”

Papyrus glares at him hotly, and Sans can practically see him resisting the urge to break the rest of his ribs. 

“C’mon, sport,” he says, flicking the other on the noseridge, and Papyrus screeches in outrage, reaching up to smack him in one of the few places that aren't broken before returning to his healing. Sans grins, but as soon as Papyrus is no longer looking at him, his teeth clench in pain. 

This had been his own fault, a stupid fight picked in a bar. Papyrus shouldn't even have to see him, let alone heal him. 

He deserved better than Sans.

 

_ Bring you home _

 

“Hey, Boss.”

Papyrus came to a complete stop, staring down at Sans with wide eyes and trying to decide what in the actual fuck was happening. “Sans…”

“Yeah?”

“...What the shit?!”

Sans shifted slightly, causing a few mustard bottles to roll down the side of the impressively-sized mountain of them that he was currently seated on. Papyrus could  _ see _ him trying to suppressed a self-satisfied smirk, and he growled lowly. 

“I mustard up the courage to--”

The rest of Sans’ sentence was lost to a high-pitched shriek as Papyrus jumped at him. Laughing, he was suddenly halfway across the room, leaving Papyrus to land in the pile of bottles with another scream. He snorted, doubling over as heaving laughter wracked his body. He reached up to wipe away tears of mirth, not noticing Papyrus pushing himself up to stand. 

Or, at least, he didn't notice until Papyrus body-checked him into the couch, screeching again in rage. 

Laughter turning into a wheeze, Sans reached out, wrapping his arms around the other's ribcage and his legs around his waist. Papyrus suddenly found himself trapped, held awkwardly to the couch by the most irritating backpack in the underground. 

“What's wrong, bro?”

“For fuck’s sake, Sans! Fuck off!”

“Y’know, that doesn't really tell me much of anything about your mental state. Why don't we talk a little bit about your childhood?”

Papyrus struggled fruitlessly, attempting to straighten despite the awkward angle and extra weight “IT WAS HELL!”

“Aw, man, whoever raised you must've had their work cut out for ‘em,” Red said, still snickering. 

“FUCK OFF!”

 

~~~

 

_ And when you call _

 

“Sans, are you okay?”

His hands were shaking, he realized, so he reached out, grasping one of the dirty plates in the sink and beginning to scrub it. He kept his eyes focused down, focused on the plate, focused away from his brother. “Of course, Papy! Why wouldn’t I be?”

Then, and only then, he turned to the other, giving him his sweetest smile and tilting his head to one side as though confused about what he could possibly be talking about. He was careful not to make it  _ too _ sweet, and to keep his eyelights wide. 

Papyrus was looking at him doubtfully, hands shoved into the pockets of the new orange hoodie Sans had gotten him last week for his birthday. His growth spurts seemed to finally be over, and Sans had celebrated by splurging a bit more than he normally would have. They normally couldn’t afford new clothes, especially one as nice as this, but he’d been careful to save what they needed. He didn’t really  _ need _ too much food, after all, and since Papyrus hadn’t noticed, it would be fine! The sweatshirt should last his little brother many years to come, anyway. 

In answer to his question, Papyrus just shrugged, the motion making him seem even lankier than he normally did. “Dunno. You just seemed kinda down.”

“Well, I’m fine!”

Papyrus nodded slowly, then blew out a breath of air. “Hey, so…”

Sans raised a brow, recognizing  _ that _ tone all too well. Then he pushed his protective instincts far,  _ far _ down, and waved a hand dismissively, accidentally flinging water everywhere. “You’ve been an adult for a week, Papyrus. You don’t need to ask my permission to go be with friends anymore. Just let me know if you’ll be out overnight so I don’t panic.”

Papyrus’ face lit up, and Sans tried to let that be enough.

 

_ And need me near _

 

“Wake up!”

Papyrus jerked awake, eyes flying open as he scrambled back in the bed, bumping into his headboard as he gasped for breath. 

“Papy!” 

He looked to the side to see Sans, sleep still in his eyes and the oversized T-shirt he wore to sleep in crumpled as though he’d rolled out of bed and run directly here. His eyes were wide, and he had one knee on the bed as though he’d been trying to shake Papyrus awake from...oh. 

His head dropped to his hands, and he groaned quietly before tears started to track down his cheeks. Sans just watched him, slowly drawing his knee back so that he was standing straight and seeming to be considering if Papyrus would want to be touched. After a moment, he seemed to mentally shrug, climbing into the bed beside him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, shushing him quietly. “Nightmare?”

Papyrus just nodded, turning so that his face was pressed into his older brother’s shoulder, feeling Sans’ other hand come up to rub his back. 

It was strange, the fact that even though he’d long since dwarfed Sans, he’d long since outgrown gestures like this, he’d been an adult long enough to hate it, he still fit perfectly into this hug. Sans still held him tight, and it still felt, just for a moment, as though his brother was just going to make everything better.

Then the memory of a dusty blue scarf flashed across his mind, and he hugged Sans tighter. 

He’d never be able to make it better.

 

_ Sayin’ where’d you go? _

 

_ “He’s never going to be able to handle it.” _

Sans slammed the door behind him, kicking his shoes off haphazardly and running up the stairs to his room. Throwing himself down to sit on his bed, he unstrapped his shoulder pads and vest, throwing them at his closet door as hard as he could, then turning around and collapsing face-first onto the mattress.

They’d been lying to him. Alphys was supposed to be his friend, and she’s just been lying to him like it was nothing! And...and  _ Papyrus _ ….he didn’t even think Sans had a chance! After everything he’d done for him, everything he’d sacrificed, he didn’t think he was  _ strong enough _ ?! 

For so, so long, Sans’ only dream had been Papyrus. Then he’d grown up, and he just...this was supposed to be his new dream! This was supposed to be the thing that, once he got it, he could help people, and he could be  _ happy _ . 

And they had been lying to him. 

They thought he was too small, too weak. The training, the  _ years _ of training he’d gone through, and it had all been out of pity. It had all been because Alphys hadn’t wanted to tell him no, because she hadn’t wanted to see his fucking big blue eyes all shining with tears. No, no, fuck honesty, we wouldn’t want to make lil’ baby blues  _ cry _ ! 

Sans punched his pillow, fighting tears of frustration. He wasn’t weak! He could land hits on the captain of the royal guard, he had knocked her down more than once! She  _ knew _ that!

He sat up, glaring down at where his feet didn’t touch the floor, then rubbed his sockets with a sigh. Pouting would do nothing more than prove the point of the overheard conversation. 

He’d show them.

 

_ Brother I’m right here _

 

Sans grinned as he watched Papyrus rooting around in the kitchen, his frustration building visibly with each passing moment. 

“Sans!”

He snickers, then uses the response he’d been planning for  _ hours _ . 

“Yes, honey?”

It’s completely worth the hours he’s spent tracking down every single bottle of honey in the house and hiding it, just to see the way that Papyrus immediately freezes, turning towards him suspiciously. “What?”

Sans just blinks innocently. “Did you need something?” 

“...what did you do?”

“ _ Whaaaaat?!” _

Okay, he may have overdone the innocence on that one. 

It’s a split second before Papyrus is in front of him, reaching out to manhandle him to the side and check under the couch cushions. Upon, for obvious reasons, not finding several dozen honey bottles under his diminutive brother, he sighed in frustration and placed said brother back in his seat. “Where are they?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“ _ Sans. _ ”

 

~~~

 

_ And on those days _

 

“Are you high?”

Papyrus looked up slowly, joint between his fingers and smoke drifting out from between his open teeth. “No?”

Sans just sighed, then crossed the room quickly, snatching the joint from his brother and kicking him lightly. “Fuck’s sake...we have to be at Alphys’s in fifteen minutes. Go get changed so that it isn’t completely obvious.”

He just stared at him for a moment, nearly as tall sitting on the floor as Sans was standing on it. Then he stood and made his shambling way to his room. Sans sighed irritably and put the joint out in a nearby ashtry, folding his arms and tapping a foot as he waited for the other to get changed. 

Papyrus appeared in his doorway, looking down at Sans excitedly and still wearing the  _ exact _ same clothes as before. “Sans, look how high I am! My sockets are all orange!”

Sans’ eye twitched. “That’s great,” he said, clenching his teeth. Yelling would get him nowhere, he had learned by experience. “Now go get changed.”

He disappeared again, but it was mere seconds before his voice echoed back down the stairs. “SANS OH MY GOD I HAVE TWO OF THE SAME SHIRT WHAT IF I WORE THEM BOTH AT ONCE?!”

_ Yelling will get you nowhere, yelling will get you nowhere… _

“For fuck’s sake! Just go get changed!”

“Can I wear them both at once?!”

“Fuckin--YES! Go for it! Embarrass yourself, you--”

“Sweeeeeet!”

 

_ When the sky begins to fall _

 

It’s amazing, watching his brother train. Even alone, practicing in the living room and kicking the empty air, his power is obvious. He would flex an arm, and you could see the magic rippling through his humerus, the charge of anger in the air even when his opponent was imaginary. 

But when he fought with  _ Alphys _ …

Papyrus didn’t want to close his eyes for a second, didn’t want to look away. He could see the gears in his head turn at the speed he moved, blasters and bones summoned and sent as though they were extensions of his body, traps laid seconds before they were sprung, all the while dodging an axe that was bigger than he himself was. He moved with a fluid speed and grace that had long since answered any questions Papyrus had ever had about how Sans had managed to keep them alive all those years. 

Any doubts he might have about that was answered every time Sans was able to bring the captain of the royal guard to the ground, sharpened bone an inch from her neck. 

 

_ You’re the blood of my blood _

 

“How could you be so  _ stupid _ ?!” 

Papyrus barely has time to react before the fist connects, sending him sprawling and bringing tears of surprise and pain to his eyes. He lifts a hand to his cheek, feeling gingerly and realizing that he’s missing a tooth. He looks to the side and sees Sans, staring at him in abject horror with his hands held out in front of him. 

“P-papyrus…?”

He looks away, then sits up, feeling the spot again before looking back at his brother. “Did...did you just hit me?”

Sans’ eyes are wide, like he can’t believe this just happened, like he can’t believe it was  _ his _ hands that made that mark. He’s never done anything quite like this before. Not inside the house, anyway. 

Papyrus grins, then turns to him. “Well, at least I have a matching set, now.”

Letting out a choked laugh, Sans starts to cry, and Papyrus holds out his arms. It’s not his fault. It really isn’t.

 

_ We can get through it all _

 

Sans watches his brother as he tucks into the food on his plate, grinding his teeth together and working up his nerve. He hates this...this lovey-dovey, gooey shit. But he’s gotta do it. 

“Papyrus?”

He looks over, and there’s a piece of tortilla hanging from his chin. Sans resists the urge to smack it off him, just for the sake of smacking something. 

“Thank you for saving my life earlier today.”

At that, Papyrus’ eyebrow is cocked, and a shit-eating grin spreads across his face. He leans across the table, and Sans just barely manages to move his plate out of the way before he lays in it. 

Papyrus can’t quite reach him across the table, so he settles for propping his elbows on the surface and putting his chin in his hands, still smiling like an asshole. 

“So are you saying I did a good job?”

Sans grinds his teeth again. “Yes,” he forces himself to say.

“Awwwww!”

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll finish the job.”

 


	113. First Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to practice some first-person POV stuff, so have a very short chapter
> 
> Warnings for angst, death, injury, dissociation

 

**Gone**

[ Song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk5jkxOtFiY)

“What?!”

His face looks so empty, nothing giving him away, nothing hinting that he’s even heard me. He just keeps stuffing clothes in the bag, not looking at me, not reacting, not...not  _ listening _ .

“Red, please,” I say, but as I try to lay a hand on his arm, he flinches violently away, glaring at me as though I’ve done something wrong. I brace myself for the confrontation, for the accusations to fly like they do in the movies. 

But he just turns away again, crouching to reach into the bottom shelf of the dresser, where his socks are kept. 

I have no idea what to do, how to react. I’ve never even...I’ve never had anything like this for, and I have no idea how to react to the idea of losing it. I...I know I don’t  _ want _ to, but...but I don’t know how to make the anger on his face go away. I have no idea how get him to  _ stop _ , to  _ listen _ , to  _ explain _ . 

Why is he about to leave me? Why is he going, what have I  _ done _ ? 

I try to stop him again, as he turns to the door, but he shoves me off, and I fall to the floor. He stops at that, staring down at me with an expression bordering on guilt. 

Then my eyes fill with tears, and his face hardens. 

“I never want to see you again.”

 

**Down**

[ Song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmWBphAf72g&index=14)

I don’t quite know how to explain the way my emotions work. It’s like one moment, they’re there, and the next, poof, they’re just gone. They come into my soul like uninvited guests (yes, even the happy ones) and then leave just when I’ve gotten used to them. 

I think I like them. But I’m really not sure. 

LV has something to do with it, I know. If I let my emotions get the best of me, affect me too much, then I’ll lose that LV. My EXP drops sometimes, and it terrifies Blue. He doesn’t even have LV, but he does have the lives of millions on his back. 

I think that would terrify me more than having so much LV, honestly. To have earned the protection of it without actually receiving the benefits. Monsters are wired to be kind. We were never meant to kill, and when we do...well. Let’s just say that LV exists for a reason. 

And the fact that Blue doesn’t have any just...floors me. How can he live with it? I’ve only lost one point, and I sometimes just...lose myself. 

How does he even survive?

 

**Heavy**

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SPsD_oXEXY)

He’s so heavy.

He’s weighing down on my arms, making them feel like they’re going to come out of their sockets. The pull of gravity against a lifeless body is strong, apparently, even when the body isn’t technically lifeless yet.

But it may as well be.

I trip over…something. It doesn’t matter what. It just matters that I do, and that I fall. I fall hard, and he drops. His body makes a funny noise when he lands, and it’s all I can do not to laugh. It wouldn’t be good to laugh. I know that, somewhere inside myself, but I can’t quite remember why. All I can remember, suddenly, are the bones digging in between his ribs, the tips just barely touching the fragile surface of his soul. I couldn’t pull them out. I wasn’t strong enough.

My hands are shaking as I reach to move aside that stupid, ratty jacket, doing everything I can to ignore the holes that now pattern the worn leather. He’s going to hate that. He loves this coat more than life, I think.

I peer carefully between his ribs, almost breathe a sigh of relief that his soul is unpunctured before I realize how grey it is. It’s not supposed to be that grey. It’s supposed to be beautiful, crimson, red.

The thought is funny, for a moment. Almost like a pun. I’m not sure why.

I shudder, feeling the cracks in my own bones protest against just the motion of checking him over. Maybe I should just lie down.

Yeah.

Yeah, that would be good. Just rest for a minute. Then I can carry him. Then I can help him. He’s not gone yet, he’s not gone, maybe I can just…

I collapse into the dust that’s pooled around my knees, though it does take me a moment to realize that it’s dust. It feels like a significant realization.

Why am I crying?

Why…

Why does it hurt so much?


	114. Cheater, Cheater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans' dickbaggery is challenged by Fell
> 
> Inspired by [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAAsaeG6cus&index=32).

“SANS!”

The voice was filled with fury, and Sans flinched as he looked up, eyes going wide at the sight of the tall skeleton in the doorway. 

Fell had always been terrifying, so much taller than he ever had a hope to be, imposingly sharp and full of scars and sharp edges, but Sans didn’t think he had ever been as terrifying as he was in this moment. He scrambled backwards on his bed, letting out a yelp as Fell started to cross the room towards him. He tripped off the back of the mattress, landing on the floor with a thump and pushing himself to his feet in an attempt to shortcut away.

Then Fell caught him by the wrist and he found himself shouting out, in a fit of panic, “Paps! Papyrus!”

Fell growled, shoving him back further into the room and growling, “ _ Who the fuck do you think let me into the house, you motherfucker?! _ ”

Sans’ eyes grew wide with fear, and he attempted to yank his arm away, but Fell’s grip only tightened. 

“How  _ dare _ you?!”

He glanced up with a wince, going very still as his suspicions were confirmed. There could quite possibly be a lot of reasons Fell would be mad at him, but with a tone like that…

Red must have told him. 

“I don’t see how it’s your business--ow!” Sans yelped as his arm was twisted again, a hand gripping him under the ribcage to lift him up to eye level.

“It’s my  _ business _ because my  _ brother _ has been locked in his room for  _ three goddamn days _ because of you!”

Sans flinched, setting his teeth as his mind whirled. His legs kicked aimlessly through the air for a moment before he relaxed, keeping his chin up the best he could. “What makes you think it’s because of me?”

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, but he regretted them more as Fell threw him to the ground, just barely resisting enough force to tick down his HP.

“ARE YOU  _ FUCKING _ KIDDING ME?!”

Sans groaned, pushing himself up to sit and curling his legs up to tuck against his ribcage. 

“ _ YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON HIM! _ ”

“DO YOU THINK I DON’T  _ KNOW _ THAT?!”

Fell’s glare didn’t lessen at that, rage-filled intent pouring off of him in waves. But he took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm. “He made me  _ promise _ not to kill you when I came here. He _begged_ me not to take your miserable life. Sans, he somehow _still_   loves you. So  _ how dare you? _ ” 

Sans couldn’t make himself lift his chin again. He couldn’t find the strength to even appear anywhere near prideful in this moment. His soul felt like it was tearing out of his chest, rended in half with no control. 

“I don’t know.”

Fell narrowed his eyes, growling, “What?”

“...I...I don’t  _ know _ . I don’t know how I possibly could have done that to him!” He looked up, then, his gaze desperate. “I  _ love _ Red, and Fell...God, Fell, what I wouldn’t give to take it back!”

From downstairs, there was the clattering of pots, of Papyrus preparing dinner, completely ignoring what was happening upstairs. He knew. Even he knew Sans was a piece of shit, and that he deserved to get his ass kicked for what he’d done. 

“Don’t  _ ever _ come near him again.”

Sans’ eyes widened in shock, staring up at Fell with a disbelieving expression. “Wha--”

“If I ever see you in Underfell again, I will kill you.”

And as Fell spun around, exiting the room with all the power and grace he had entered with, Sans realized how strongly he meant it.


	115. Betrayal 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHAT??!!!  
> A BETRAYAL CHAPTER????!!!!!!!
> 
> Since it's been about a century since I last updated, This story can be found chronologically like this:  
> [1](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8585845/chapters/19920064) [2](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8585845/chapters/20373208) [3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8585845/chapters/19831075) [4](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8681998) [5](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8585845/chapters/20624386) [6](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8585845/chapters/20624386)

Blue ducked back into the kitchen, gritting his teeth in worry for a moment as he stared down the ingredients that lay spread across the counter. He didn’t need to cook. He  _ knew _ he didn’t need to cook. They’d just had breakfast, after all. But the action was calming, and as the group began discussing the possibility of his own brother being taken…

He breathed deeply, forcing himself to calm. 

It was okay. It was all going to be okay. They would all stick together, and they would all be okay. 

He crossed the room, standing in front of the counter that now held baking ingredients. Cookies. He would make cookies. Those could be a snack of sorts, right? 

Picking up a bag of flour and doing his best to ignore the conversation in the other room, he began measuring into a bowl. 

“Blue.”

He nearly screamed out loud, stopped only by the hand that clapped over his mouth, pulling him up against the other’s chest. The stranger had to be twice his size, and Blue could see the black sleeves of a coat out of the corner of his eye sockets. 

Slim.

He began to struggle, kicking backwards and connecting with the other’s shin, and he heard Slim swear under his breath. 

“Blue, stop, it’s not what you--”

Blue tried to make a noise, but Slim cursed again and pressed his hand down painfully hard against his mouth. There was a moment’s pause, probably as he tried to figure out what to do to keep Blue from revealing him, then he simply picked him up, making his way to the window over the sink. As he started to move, Blue dropped the bag of flour, hoping the noise would be enough to alert the others. 

But nobody came. 

Slim cursed again as he ducked through the window, dusting flour off his pants as he stood carefully, still holding Blue like he weighed nothing. Then he glanced back into the house quickly before beginning to make his way around the corner, carrying Blue into the woods. 

Blue tried to make another noise, kicking his feet as viciously as he was able, but the other monster barely seemed to notice, continuing until they were too far to be heard. 

Then, to Blue’s surprise, he stopped, letting go of Blue’s mouth and setting him on the ground, only keeping hold of one arm to keep him from running off. 

Blue immediately spun around, intending to deliver a solid punch to an eye socket and make a run for it (maybe he could surprise the other with his strength?) before he froze, staring wide-eyed at the other. 

Slim’s face was a mess, a mottled map of bruises and tears, and what little Blue could see of his neck seemed to be the same. He could feel his own hands shaking in his confusion, eyes darting between the other’s abused face and the path that lead to the safety of the others. 

“Blue, please…” Slim murmured, and his voice came out so broken and desperate that Blue froze. “Please, I-I didn’t do anything!”

_ What _ ?

“What are you talking about?!” He demanded, attempting to yank his arm out of the other’s grip. “You’re a liar! You’re not at all who any of us thought you were!”

At that, Slim’s eyelights dimmed, flicking down to his lap before focusing back up on Blue, looking as exhausted as he’d ever looked before. “What did my brother say I did?”

Blue narrowed his eyes, confusion worming its way into his mind. “What _did_ you do?”

“N-nothing!” He said, his voice desperate again. “I d-didn’t--” his voice broke into a sob, and he let go of Blue’s wrist to bury his face in his hands. 

Blue glanced down at himself, considering his newfound freedom. Then he glanced down at the path. Then back at the sobbing Slim. Then he sighed. 

“Slim, what happened to your face?”

He took a deep breath, seeming to be trying to stop crying, and managed to say, “R-red. He...He held me down with his magic, and I couldn’t move, and he...he  _ hit _ me, over and over and  _ over _ \--”

He broke down into sobs again, and Blue stood quietly, at a complete and utter loss at what to do. 

“Slim, how am I supposed to believe you? You’ve been lying to all of us for so long.”

“I haven’t!” The response was immediate, that same desperation from earlier jumping into his tone. “I didn’t do  _ anything _ ! M’Lord j-just...I think he talked with Fell, and th-they...they were talking, and Blue, I didn’t hear all of it, but you’re the only person I could even come close to hoping might believe me!”

Blue sighed again, more quietly this time, then cast a suspicious glance over his shoulder. He...he  _ supposed _ …

“Tell me more, Slim.”


	116. BlueFell 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, another one I haven't updated in fucking forever.
> 
> Sorry about the length, here, I never really had a solid plan for where this one was going to go, if anywhere.

"Papy, what the hell are you doing here?"

Stretch’s mouth opened and closed for a moment, seeming at an absolute loss at what to say. “What are  _ you _ doing here?!”

Blue ignored the question, narrowing his eyes. “Did you  _ follow  _ me?!”

At that, Stretch seemed to fumble, muttering under his breath as though trying to justify it to himself. Then he let out a noise of frustration and threw his hands into the air, gesturing at the other two occupants of the room. “They’re dangerous, Sans! Are you  _ trying _ to get yourself killed?!”

Red snorted quietly, but the brothers seemed to be relaxing as they realized who this newcomer must be. The small sound seemed to draw Stretch’s attention, and he looked Red up and down before shifting his attention to where his own alternate was rounding the couch, coming up to stand beside Blue. The little skeleton stood between them so easily, no sign of fear or worry despite the scars and intent that rolled off of them as though it was subconsious. 

“Papyrus.”

He blinked in surprise at the use of his full name in Blue’s voice. He hadn’t called him that in--

“Go home. I’ll explain later, when I come back.”

“What?!” Stretch exclaimed, taking a step forward and ignoring how the fell brothers seemed to bristle. “I’m not leaving you here with  _ them! _ ”

At that, Red seemed to have had enough, reaching down and scooping the smaller skeleton into his arms, baring his teeth in a growl at Stretch. “If you think for a  _ second _ we would ever let him get hurt--”

“Red, stop. Put me down,” Blue said quietly, one hand settling on the side of his jaw to get his attention. Stretch narrowed his eyes at the gesture, a few pieces slipping into place.

As Red grumbled and put Blue back onto his feet, Stretch scoffed loudly. “Really, bro? Shackin’ up with danger zone squared?

Blue’s eyes flew wide, staring up at his brother as Fell growled threateningly. “How  _ dare _ \--”

“No, how dare  _ you _ ?!” Stretch shot back, doing his best not to let any small amount of fear be visible as he faced down his counterpart. “Stop taking advantage of my little brother, and pick on someone who actually knows what they’re doing!”

“I’m the older brother!” Blue exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. “But that’s not the point! It doens’t matter to you what I do, so  _ go home! _ ”

Stretch grumbled, glaring at the three of them and shifting his jaw. Then, suddenly, he shortcutted into the space right in front of Blue, grabbing onto his upper arm and immediately attempting to take another shortcut back to the machine. 

Before he could even access his magic, however, his soul was grabbed in the hold of blue magic, and he was thrown against the nearest wall loudly enough to make a dull, echoing  _ thud. _

He glared at the others, opening his mouth to protest again when he noticed his brother, blue eyes blazing with magic as he held one hand out towards Stretch. 

Since when had he learned--

“ _ Let it be, Papyrus!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's make this one a choose your own adventure. What should happen next? Fight to the death down in the comments


	117. Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do ABA in-home therapy for a child with autism and I work in an E/BD room during the school year, and I've been wanting to do something for Undertale with this knowledge for a while. Then Fresh and I were talking and we came up with a pretty cool little scenario for me to have fun with!   
> I'm sorry if this offends anyone at all. I'm basing this directly off of my own experiences and multiple children I've worked with across a somewhat varied span of ages, so while it is not meant to offend and it is accurate to a few examples of autism, it will not be accurate to all cases. Please let me know if you have specific problems with anything I said or represented and I will be happy to fix it so that it doesn't cause any problems!  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (Dudes, it's so weird to do younger-brother Blue and Razz?? I didn't realize how into my headcanons I was until I tried to write this)

“Razz.”

The car was going to get hot, now that he’d turned off the air conditioning, and Slim found himself wishing he wouldn’t have to walk through the humid parking lot. 

“Razz?”

When there was no response, he turned around, sighing as he saw the other repeatedly looping his fingers around the rim of the cupholder at his side, completely immersed in the activity. 

“Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--”

Razz looked up, a giant smile growing across his face as he opened his own mouth, attempting to echo the drawn-out sound. “aaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Slim couldn’t help the smile that bloomed across his face at that, the excited expression on the small face warming his soul like not much else could. “Are you ready to go see some fish?”

At that, his face absolutely lit up, hands flailing in excitement and batting at his booster seat. 

Slim snorted, unbuckling quickly and closing the door behind him before rounding the car to where Razz was still buckled in. His hands were still flapping as Slim reached over him, unbuckling him and freeing him from his booster seat before lifting him down to the ground. He immediately took his hand, reaching back into the car to retrieve his backpack before closing and locking the car. 

When he looked back down, Razz had his head tilted to the side, eyes focused up in the general vicinity of the sun as he turned his body side to side, letting the light enter his sockets at different angles. 

“C’mon, bud,” Slim murmured, scooping him up and into his arms before proceeding for the entrance of the local aquarium, sighing as his little brother remained stiff as a board, still focused up on the light. 

When they entered the building, Razz seemed to come back to himself, turning his head from side to side to look at the building. As they approached the ticket booth, he started to wriggle, obviously wanting down. Slim raised a brow, saying the other’s name. When he received no response, he reached up, covering his eyes for a split second before removing his hand and pointing to his own face. Razz followed the hand, making eye contact shortly before he looked away, still wriggling. 

“Do you want down?” Slim asked exaggeratedly, catching his eye contact again before Razz looked away and down at the ground, looking upset. Then he lifted a hand, bringing it up before dropping it quickly, one finger pointed vaguely at the ground. “Good job!” Slim praised, setting him carefully on the ground before taking hold of his hand again, leading him the rest of the way through the process of getting their passes checked and entering the facility. 

As soon as Razz caught sight of the fish in the first room, he was absolutely enraptured, stopping dead in the middle of the walkway to fix his eyes on a yellow tang in a nearby tank. As it swam away, he started tugging on Slim’s hand, bringing him to follow as he trailed the fish along the tank. It swam a circle around the outside, and Razz was behind it every step of the way, never taking his eyes from the bright colors and flashing scales. 

After the third circuit of the tank, Slim picked him up again, prefacing the inevitable tantrum by handing him a cheez-it. Distracted by his new prize, Razz squinted up at the lights of the building and allowed himself to be carried along the halls. 

It wasn’t long, however, before he lowered his gaze, focusing on first one side of the hall, then the other. Upon finding no fish, he turned his betrayed expression down at the floor. 

“What do you need?” Slim asked, his voice quieter than he normally would have asked the question. Razz seemed unusually present here, as always, so he didn’t need to make his voice as loud as he normally would have. 

Sure enough, the hand was immediately lifted, zigzagging forward in an all-too familiar motion. Slim smiled at the determined expression, saying quickly, “There are fish over there!”

Razz tried to spin around in his arms, and if Slim hadn’t been expecting it, he likely would have dropped him. He held up another cheez-it, just out of reach, and Razz tapped his own chest before reaching for it. Slim allowed him to take it, forgiving the lazy sign language just this once. 

They approached the tanks of the children’s area, and Slim set Razz down, keeping a close eye on him as he let him wander over to a small tank on his own. Sure enough, he found a brightly colored fish, beginning to follow it around and around the tank, quietly babbling, “issississississississ…”. 

Slim shook his head, sitting on one of the many benches that lined the walled children’s site so that he could watch the other. He couldn’t get distracted, because if Razz got upset, he needed to be able to respond quickly. Those tantrums were never fun, especially if he  _ actually _ followed the therapist’s advice and didn’t reinforce it. 

“BLUE! GET BACK HERE!” 

The sound of running caught his attention, and he took his eyes off his brother for a split second to see two kids running pell-mell into the kid’s area, one chasing the other with something akin to murder in his eyes. The one on the run (Blue, Slim assumed) had bright blue eyelights, laughing madly as he dodged a tank, holding a bright red scarf above his head like the holiest of prizes. 

“If you want it back, Fell, you’re going to have to-- _ oof! _ ”

Slim’s eyes went wide as he watched the smaller run smack-dab into Razz, completely bowling him over and sending them both to the ground. 

Razz seemed shocked for a moment, staring up at the other with wide eyes. Blue sat up, dusting himself off before yelping as the taller child, who Slim figured was probably Fell, caught up, yanking the scarf from his grip and wrapping it around his own neck with a grumble. 

Blue laughed, then, standing before he turned to look down at Razz, holding out one hand to help him up as he started in on a stream of excited chatter. Slim, half-risen out of his seat, watched with bated breath for the other’s reaction.

“I’m so sorry I knocked you over! We were just playing and I didn’t see you at all! Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you want some help getting up?”

To Slim’s extreme surprise, Razz sat up, very quietly, still staring up at the other two children. His gaze shifted between the bright blue excitement of one to the dark red annoyance of the other. Then, very calmly, he lifted his hands, pressing them down on either side of his head to block out the sound. 

Slim suppressed a snicker as the smaller of the two paused, staring down at the other in confusion. “What are you--”

“Oh, thank fuck!”

Slim jumped, turning to see yet another person round the corner. He was shorter than himself, with bright red eyelights and wearing a ratty black coat. He was closely followed by a much taller guy, towering over even Slim and wearing an orange sweatshirt. 

As he turned to look, the one in orange smacked the shorter one, murmuring under his breath, “You really need to stop swearing around the kids, asshole.”

The shorter waved a hand dismissively in his direction, entering the kids playground and grumbling something quietly before addressing the small group. “You two can’t just run off like that! And, Blue, seriously, stop taking his scarf. His dad gave that to him, and I hear the guy is pretty great.”

Blue shot him a Look. “You’re his dad, Red.”

“Yeah, and I’m pretty great, aren’t I?”

Both of the kids rolled their eyes at that, and the taller adult snickered quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets. Blue glared over at him for a split second before looking back at Red, crossing his arms. “I don’t have to listen to--”

“Blue.”

He shifted his jaw as the orange-clad skeleton spoke, then rolled his eyes as though he were a teenager, even though he couldn’t possibly have been older than nine or ten. 

Slim was distracted from the scene, suddenly, as he caught sight of Razz, his hands pressed so closely against the sides of his head that he looked like he might be hurting himself. Slim swore under his breath, standing quickly and crossing the exhibit to kneel beside him, scooping him up into his arms. 

The others started as he came into the vicinity, and he caught sight of Red’s raised brow at seeing a child Razz’s age scooped up as though he were a toddler. 

Blue looked up at them with wide eyes, his arms dropping to his sides as he asked, “Is he okay? Did I hurt him?”

Slim was quick to shake his head, fishing the cheeze-its out of his backpack and handing a few to Razz to get him to take his hands off of his ears. “No, he’s alright! He just doesn’t like a lot of loud sounds is all!”

Blue immediately dropped his voice, and Fell seemed to lean in a little closer as though preparing to do the same. 

“Why?”

“Blue, you don’t need to worry about other people’s business,” The tallest said quickly, ignoring the look he was getting from Red that probably meant he’d been as curious as the kid. 

Slim shook his head quickly, letting Razz down as he started to wriggle again, wandering over to a different tank and finding a new fish to follow. “No, no, it’s okay. Razz just likes things the way he likes them.”

The other adults were watching his little brother’s circulations of the tank, and Slim reminded himself that he was imagining the judgement in their eyes.

“Does he like fish?” Fell asked suddenly, one brow raised as he watched the other, and Slim tried not to bristle. 

“Sure does. They’re pretty, aren’t they?”

Fell nodded quietly, then turned to his father, holding out a hand and murmuring something quietly. Red sighed, then reached into a souvenir bag on his elbow, handing Fell a thick book with a colorful cover. Then Fell grabbed Blue by the upper arm, crossing the room away from the adults and approaching Razz, getting into his path of following the fish. 

Slim held his breath, taking half a step towards them before Fell held up the book, saying softly but clearly, “I have a book about fish.”

Razz’s eyes went wide at the sight of the bright cover, then raised his hand to do the same zigzag motion that went so often repeated by him in this building. 

“Hey! You know sign language?!” Blue exclaimed, repeating the sign back to him. 

Jumping the slightest bit at the loud tone, Razz quickly relaxed, smiling widely and repeating the sign again. The other kids laughed, Blue beginning to parrot the motion again before Fell rolled his eyes, grabbing him by the arm again and shoving him in the direction of a bench. Then, carefully, he took hold of Razz’s sleeve, gently guiding him in the same direction. 

“Cute kid ya got there,” came a voice at Slim’s side, and looked over to see the adults watching him. “He yours?”

Slim shook his head quickly, glancing over at the others to see that they were settled quietly on the bench, Razz staring wide-eyed down at the page as Fell motioned between the book and the tank, probably pointing out the same fish.  

“Nah, he’s my little brother. Are they...both Red’s, or...both of yours?” Blue  _ did _ kind of look like Red, with the shape of his skull and height. 

“It's more of a stepkids situation. Blue’s mine,” said the taller, grinning down at him. “And Fell is Red’s. Oh, and the name’s Stretch, by the way!” He held out a hand, and Slim shook it quickly before pulling his hand back so he could properly focus on the kids. They seemed to be fine, however, and the adults quickly pulled his attention back. 

“Is he…”

He bit back a sigh. He’d lost count of how many thousands of times he’d had  _ this _ conversation. “He has autism, yeah. But he’s not--”

“He reminds me a bit of Papyrus,” Red murmured, and Stretch glanced down at him in question. “You know, the kid in the E/BD room over at the intermediate school? Who brings us flowers every time he’s going to elope?”

Stretch nodded quickly, but Slim’s confusion must have shown on his face, because Red grinned and quickly said, “I’m a BCBA, working for the school district over in West Valley.”

Slim felt himself relaxing, the realization that he wouldn’t have to explain himself or justify his brother an immediate relief. “We’re from over in East Valley, but Razz has to go to the middle school. They don’t have a self-contained room at the intermediate school, but he does well up there.” 

Red nodded, watching the kids with a spark in his crimson eyelights before turning back to Slim. “Do you guys come here a lot?”

“Yeah,” Slim said, watching his brother fondly as he concentrated carefully before separating out his index finger, using it to point to something on the page of the book. “He really likes the fish here. It calms him down and all that, so we do it once a week, or thereabouts.”

The two of them nodded, then Stretch glanced at his watch before letting out a sigh. “Red, we have to--” 

“Shit,” he said under his breath, checking his own empty wrist before pulling out his phone to check the time on that instead. As Stretch called out to the kids, Red turned to shake Slim’s hand, shooting him a sharp-toothed grin. “Nice meetin’ you guys. Maybe we’ll see you around here again?”

Slim grinned, watching Razz out of the corner of his eye as he got off the now-empty bench, parroting Blue’s happy wave before being distracted by a new fish. 

“Almost definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the big question: Should I make this into a longer fic? Continue it? Or would you rather I left it here? Let me know down in the comments, please!!


	118. fk u ollie 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I REALLY MISS OLLIE OKAY  
> SO THIS IS HOW I COPE  
> SPENDING HOURS FORMATTING LIKE 6500 WORDS OF BULLSHIT  
> WOO
> 
> I would also just like to say that I am only halfway through editing the total amount of fuckery I have copied down, but my fingers hurt and I'm tired so here take the first half and I'll post the second half another time.
> 
> Spoilers for a bunch of both of our stories

**Ollie:** yea ur the humblest person i kno

**Crush:** im so humble it makes me the best

~~~

**Ollie:** _ leaf _ me alone im  _ bushed _

**Crush:** im too tired to pun fuck you

**Ollie:** thank god i finally win a pun-off

**Crush:** i cant be _ leaf _ this

**Ollie:** no stop please

let me have this please

**Crush:** alright fine i wont beat around the  _ bush _

**Ollie:** _crush_

**Crush:** am i crushing  _ ollie _ ur dreams

**Ollie:** im fucking blocking you

fuck this

dont ever talk to me again

urrghghgh

**Crush:** #when bae is salty af

**Ollie:** im so angry right now fuck your puns

#im not your fucking bae

**Crush:** um excuse u

u r now

**Ollie:** #when bae is fucking arguing with you and you want to paint the town red with the blood of the innocent

~~~

**Crush:** will u forgive me if i send u shitty memes

~~~

**Ollie:** ugh

**Crush:** ugh squared

~~~

**Ollie:** i forgot how funny we are

high five

**Crush: *** high fives*

*misses*

_ fuck _

**Ollie: *** is high fived in the fuckign face* you goddamned bithc

**Crush** : i dont even need an excuse to do that tho

**Ollie:** leave my face alone

**Crush:** nunca

**Ollie:** i dont speak canadian

**Crush:** .........i dont even...how

**Ollie:** listen i am purebred american i dont know other languages

~~~

**Ollie:** okay first of all i am never fucking letting you live down the phineas and ferb so eat my ass

**Crush:** I might have to take a rain check on eating your ass I like just brushed my teeth

**Ollie:** brush your teeth with this dick

**Crush:** I'm kinkshaming you

**Ollie:** u wanna talk kinkshaming?

u rly wanna start with me???

**Crush:** I s2g ollie

U got nothin on me

**Ollie:** um

u want to fuck a skeleton

**Crush:** Okay

But am I ashamed tho

**Ollie:** ,.,,,,...

blocked

**Crush:** O no

Don't block me

This government ain't paying for yo  wall boi

**Ollie:** gonna make mexio pay for it

**Crush:** Ah yes

The elusive mexio

A peaceful country

**Ollie:** fuck off

**Crush:** Never

~~~

**Ollie:** okay im fucking laughing now at like a very discreet sans-only contest at who can collect the most papyruses and

red sends a group selfie of himself, fell, paps, slim, and stretch to the other sanses and they all just

all three of the others show up and start bitching "how could you betray me for him?!" and it turns out that red liked bribed them to all show up at his place with pasta or smthn

**Crush:** For some reason I'm getting the image of someone other than Razz managing to collect em all and Razz is so butthurt about it. He constructs this whole plan to defame the "winner"  and it's like "frame him for  _ murder _ " and "tell his real brother that he was adopted and he's been being lied to" and like Slim finds this whole plan written out and is like "Hey, m'Lord...how about chill????"

**Ollie:** i think i just choked because razz is actually that petty

**Crush:** I could absolutely see Razz frikkin framing Red for murder because he managed to get a selfie with all the papyruses

**Ollie:** and like a good selfie that isnt blurry at all and everyone is looking at the camera and smiling so you know that it was voluntary

**Crush:** And everyone is just freaking out like "OH MY GOD RED KILLED SOMEONE" and then slim gets home and is like wait did red do something to piss off my brother? Oh okay then yeah red is totally innocent dont even worry about it

**Ollie:** blue is like "hey i got a selfie with all the papyruses too!" and he pulls out his phone and shows like a photo of himself and all the paps but the papyruses are very obviously photoshopped and theres not even a photo of fell its just papyrus with his battle body colored black with ms paint and with angry eyebrows

**Crush:** Im fuckin

Sans takes one look at it and is like "oh no red you've been dethroned" "WHAT?! THATS NOT EVEN REAL" "Yeah it is c'mon Fell even has angry eyebrows"

**Ollie:** all the papyruses are like "oh yea, we were all there, thats totally real" and fell goes "yeah, and can i just say thats probably the best photo thats ever been taken of me"

"bro that doesnt even look anything like you!" "what are you talking about? thats definitely me."

**Crush:** Papyrus: "you're very handsome in that photo"

Fell: Even more handsome than usual

Stretch to Slim, quietly: Does this count as flirting

Slim: I ship it 

Stretch: No you don't shut up

Fell: I ship it too

Stretch:...BABE

**Ollie:** okay but like the stretch and slim thing: i can totally imagine that they are both fucking clueless when it comes to being flirted with so a majority of their text conversations are "hey, (insert name here) said (something that is very obviously flirting but theyre both fucking idiots so they cant see that), are they flirting with me?" "uhhhhhhHHHHHHH"

"okay so what should i say back" "just keep it natural" "i told him he has a nice face" "we all have the same fucking face you idiot" "fuck"

"okay so he asked me on a date but is it like a date date or a friend date?' "did he say date date or did he say friend date?" "neither he jsut said a date" "fuck"

**Crush:** "I'm gonna flip this coin, heads means they're flirting with me, tails means they're not" "This doesn't seem very scientific" "...okay, I'm gonna flip this coin, head says shut the fuck up, tails says I punch you in the face and tell Fell you wanna bone him"

"we all have the same fucking face you idiot" has me dying

**Ollie:** the coin falls into a fucking sewage drain "well. i guess this means that your dating life is shit" "k but is he flirting?" "idfk"

**Crush:** Fell and Papyrus are the same way they're just more classy about it. "So I told stretch he should quit smoking and he told me to make him, so i tossed a glass of water in his face? Did I fuck it up?" "Did he say he hated you?" "I mean not out loud" "Then you're going to get married, I'm sure of it"

**Ollie:** im fcking

"hey, i was talking to slim and i complimented his shirt and he started stuttering before he ran off and jumped out a window, does that mean my compliment went over well or badly?" "how many flips did he do on his way down?" "i mean we were at the top of a ten story building so at least five." "he took it well, trust me."

**Crush:** "How do you know" whips out dating manual "Well if you look in chapter 4, subsection 25..." "Papyrus, is that a cookbook with 'dating manual' written on the front in sharpie?" "I know what I'm talking about okay???

**Ollie:** "it says 'stir vigorously'" "well, what the hell does that mean?" "* shrugs *" * scene cut to fell chasing after stretch with a whisk and fucking murder in his eyes

**Crush:** Fuck off im trying not to laugh

im snorting

**Ollie:** slim gets a text fraught with typos "slim i thignk that fell is tryign to murdre me whith a hwhisk he lp" "dude i think he might be flirting" "ARE TOU FUCKIGN SERIOEUS"

**Crush:** its his mating dance

attempted murder

**Ollie:** blue sends a message in the group chat "okay so papy somehow got a whisk tangled in his ribs and i cant get it out so we're going to the emergency room, does anyone know how this happened?" and all the papyruses respond with a single word message almost simultaneously: "flirting"

~~~

**Ollie:** okay im fucking pissed because i got off of lunch and i walk out and the fucking gays are still here looking at our fucking gnomes and my roommate looks at me and goes "r these all the gnomes u have, or is there a gnome section?" and i look up and they each have like seven gnomes in their arms i want to die

~~~

**Ollie:** well, that was fun

**Crush** : yeah thats a word for it

**Ollie:** everyone probably hates me now but it was still fun

**Crush:** nah i mean i already hated you so we good XDD

**Ollie:** okay get fucked

also goodnight

btichx

~~~

**Crush:** Like "hey I'm going to the bonezone cya later paps" and then later that day paps has to go to UnderFell for whatever reason and lo and behold sans is there and he just "SANS! I thought you were going to the bonezone!" And across the room Fell just chokes and Red winks and is like "u got that right papyrus"

~~~

**Ollie:** i just chugged like 4 monster energy drinks in 30 minutes and i can fycking see colors

wait i could already see colors

taste colors

i mean i can see them too but

im shaking holy fuck

~~~

**Crush:** I really want to do a high school reunion thing with CCB where Sans is going to his high school reuinion and is embarrassed that he's a single nerd so he jokingly says to Red and Blue "one of you should pretend to be my boyfriend" and they both fucking show up

**Ollie:** oh my god

**Crush:** and then the whole night is just like a competition for Sans' affections like "fuck you im a way better fake boyfriend"

Blue goes to get Sans some punch and Red gets up and pays the DJ to play his favorite song and it just devolves from there

**Ollie:** even worse sans has had a crush on both of them for a while and hes just getting rly flustered but also upset bc "God this was... This was wonderful, everything he'd ever really wanted, standing between the two of them, one of their hands in each of his own, smiling and laughing and just feeling their warmth pressed against his sides, but... It couldn't last. It wouldn't last, because this was just a... A joke to them. Just his two friends trying to outdo each other in a silly contest that had absolutely no meaning whatsoever to either one of them. The thought caused his soul to clench in hurt, and his smile became a bit more strained as he glanced on either side of himself. He just had to let himself fall, didn't he?"

**Crush:** wow

okay

first of all

**Ollie:** :3

**Crush: “** fluff is okay, dont make me sad”

WERE YOUR OWN WORDS

~~~

**Ollie:** fucign write bithc

go go gog gog og

GO

~~~

**Crush:** God im such an attention whore

**Ollie:** me too man

~~~

**Ollie:** i posted the chapter on slim and stretch being fukcing idiots like 5 minutes ago and the views havent gone up even tho ive refreshed it like seven times :c

~~~

**Crush:** you know whats really weird though is that i dont even check my reads anymore

i should probably do that at some point

what the fuck whate the fkc cosos had like 25000 last i checked what the hell

**Ollie:** o yea its at like 30000

i look at the views

**Crush:** u look at my views too, huh?

**Ollie:** yea bc im like "god i wish i was that popular"

**Crush:** same

wait

no

what

**Ollie:** "i wish i was as popular as myself"

**Crush:** what i meant to say was probably "get fucked" or something

~~~

**Crush:** fuckin go for it

that's all i ever talk about so hey fair is fair

(and dont even worry about it im usually that way but i kind of have this constant urge to annoy the fuck out of you so i just message you alot with stupid shit bc i think im funny)

**Ollie:** "i have this constant urge to annoy the fuck out of you" wow thanks crush

means a lot

**Crush:** i mean

is it working?

~~~

**Crush:** hey so you know how im generally p cringy

~~~

**Ollie:** also that doesnt make it bad! honestly, i rly enjoyed string theory when it was just a smut story (and even then the smut wasnt that repetitive it was more like "how are they gonna fuck this time lmfao") and i rly enjoy it now that my shriveled heart is dying

**Crush:** thank you

also "how are they gonna fuck this time" needs to be the new description lmao

**Ollie:** how are they gonna fuck (up) this time?

**Crush:** and theres the second arc

perfect

**Ollie:** thats it thats string theory

**Crush:** there we go

genius at work

**Ollie:** way to go crush its so good i am proud of u son

**Crush:** gee thanks

im proud of me too

bitch

idfk

**Ollie** : um bithc im tryna fucking compliment u and u fucing?

okay

call me a btich

i see how it is

**Crush:** i fucing wat

r u gonna fite me

**Ollie:** i fucign might btihc

**Crush:** bring it the fuk on

**Ollie:** oka y

**Crush:** but like

later

im tired

**Ollie:** me too man and i still have to brush my teeth

~~~

**Ollie:** fell's fighting style is more elegant in a way? like he will take you down, but when he does so hes more about speed and direct hits. less collateral and more focused on attacking who he actually wants to hit. red, on the other hand? hahahhahah get fucked, u piss him off enough to where he wants to kill u then hes destroying u, hes destroying that tree, hes knocking down buildings and shit. miss him with that "weapon accuracy"

red is a better fighter at a distance, also i rly like the idea of everyone being like "hey whats u guys' weapon?" and fell makes this cool looking sword and red just fuCKING MACHINE GUN HERE WE GO HA HA

~~~

**Crush:** Dude

Are you finally going crazy

**Ollie:** what do you mean "finally"

like this was inevitable

**Crush:** .....I mean

**Ollie:** fuck off

dont answer that

**Crush:** Are you denying the inevitability

K den

**Ollie:** shut up leave me alone

dotn fucking "K den" me

**Crush:** K den

I wont

**Ollie:** BITCH

**Crush:** I'm a bitch?

k den

~~~

**Crush:** meme cupcakes and also shut ur mouth

~~~

**Ollie:** ,,.,.,

no,.,.,.,.

.,...,.,its not like,.,.,.,.i admire you,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,or anything,.,.,.,..,.,.,. and that ur compliments mean a lot to me since i think youre a great writer and a really nice person,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,. or any of that,,.,,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,...,.,...,.

**Crush:** im resisting the urge the flip my computer

i fucking

shut up stop being nice

**Ollie:** im not nice im a dick

and ur a

um

stupid head

and ur jokes

r shit

ha

**Crush** : premium quality dick

o no im so hurt

how daRE

**Ollie:** ha ha yea well

im a bit of a bad boy

u knew what u were getting in2 when u started talking to me babe

**Crush:** yeah i picked that up from all the memes

**Ollie:** u only have urself to blame

okay so first of all fuck off

**Crush:** i could really tell u were a rebel

couldn't help myself

**Ollie:** ugh just

jsut go write so angst or smthn since ur so good at it

btich

making me cry reading string theory

**Crush:** oh yeah string theory

**Ollie:** making me cry readint gthe alternate path

**Crush:** that story where blue died right

**Ollie:** making me cry reading basically everything

**Ollie:** he deserved Death its not him im upset about

**Crush:** and Razz got left alone to fall apart without the only person he ever really learned to truly love

~~~

**Ollie:** just him getting little snippets of reds thoughts like if blue manages to make sans give a small half smile or something later on the road despite everythhing, razz just getting a shot of anger like "Blue has no fucking right to think he should mean anything to Sans at all after what he did." and then he stands there in shock bc "wait what the hell did blue do"

**Crush:** "why are we always fighting, razz? what's changed?" "I don't know but I just always have this feeling like you...you aren't eveything you pretend to be. Like you use people without caring about their feelings and you still don't regret it and I don't know why I just know that I....I can't take you anymore! I can't take you acting like Red was the asshole here when he sacrificed everything for us and he's dead and Sans...he just..." "Sans?! Why is it always about Sans?!" "I don't know!!!"

**Ollie:** "I don't get it, Razz! I don't! Why are you treating me like I'm some kind of villain?!" "Because for some reason I just can't help but see that you aren't the perfect angel that you pretend to be!" "Perfect- I've never pretended to be that!" "Don't- Don't even act like you have any right to cry, any right to grieve over any of this. Did you ever even care about anyone else? You... you  _ [[something I redacted bc spoilers]] _ , Blue!" "I did that for you, Razz!" "No, you did it for yourself! You- you didn't care about anyone but yourself! You hurt Sans, you basically killed your brother, and-" "And I did it to save you! Please! You have to understand! I never meant for any of this to happen!" "No! I don't want to understand! Even if none of this would have happened, you didn't think for a fucking second about anyone! Hell! You know what I've done in the past, and how much it would hurt Slim to even see me, but you did it anyways! All of this: Red dying, Stretch dying, Slim and Papyrus probably dead, every human in this world thirsting for the dust of every monster, this is all because of you!"

and then he storms out and blue is just left standing there

**Crush:** oh my god

i really hope you dont mind but im copying that into my doc and i might use it

like i dont want to sympathize with Blue but could you imagine hearing that from the person you love most in the world? who you depend on to keep sane, who you've been latching onto for years because you can't get the thought that he'll always save you out of your head? "No, you did it for yourself! You- you didn't care about anyone but yourself!" And you would just...you'd realize he was right. You'd realize how much you fucked up and it would hit you all at once and you would just... the denial would fall away and you'd be left with the realization that in your effort to make your little corner of the world 'happy', you actually violated ever moral you used to hold and broke everything you'd ever loved

**Ollie:** * me, yelling to the horde of angry fans* SHES A BLUE SYMPATHIZER! GET HER! * angry fans rush forward, im holding a pitchfork, obama is there*

_ *skipping some stuff bc spoilers* _

**Crush:** I just...Blue might be my favorite character I've ever written, tied very closely with Razz and for two very different reasons. I've always liked Razz's complexity with his LV and everything but Blue... he doesn't even have an excuse for what he's done. Well, he does, but...idk. It's different, I guess.

~~~

**Ollie:** i only did under there

**Crush:** I'm not fucking falling for that

**Ollie:** also: dammit

**Crush:** HA

**Ollie:** crush y u ruin my jokes

~~~

**Ollie:** also yea fuck jerky this is rly gross

but i paid $3 for this organic dried meat so im gonna eat it all

Crush: I'm supposed to be saving for college but instead I buy juice and candy because fuck yeah

You got this

Eat all the dried meat

**Ollie** : im so parched

**Crush:** U want some juice

**Ollie:** just chuck a bottle out ur window i have a long reach

my jaw just fucking popped and now it hirts to chew what the fufkc

**Crush:** That sounds like a you problem

Jk it sounds like a chew problem

**Ollie:** it is a me problem its my jaw

**Crush:** Hehehehehehe

**Ollie:** im not taljign to u anymore fuck off

**Crush:** Ollie

My love

Come back

U like it

The memes

They here

Ollie

Ollie

**Ollie:** crush fuck iff

stop

**Crush:** Ollie

Ollie

**Ollie:** im trying not to laugj

**Crush:** Ollie

**Ollie:** CRUSH IM HERE FOR FUCKS SAKE

**Crush:** Oh sorry I didn't see you there

**Ollie:** i fukcign hate you

so much

**Crush:** Do u tho

Do u rly

**Ollie:** yes

**Crush:** Awwww

But

Ollie

The memes

Ollie

**Ollie:** i can get my own damn memes

**Crush:** Ollie

Ollie

Ollir

**Ollie:** *im here you fcuking bitch

**Crush:** Fuck I misspelled your name

Um excuse u

I'm a bitching fuck

**Ollie** : i despise u

**Crush:** Now I have the urge to fill the silence with just repetitively sending your name

**Ollie:** dont

**Crush:** It's ok I despise me too bruh

Ollie

Ollie

Ollie

**Ollie:** crush im trying to scroll thru my music ur not making it easy

**Crush:** Ollie

**Ollie:** crush

**Crush:** I'm just sitting here cracking the hell up at my own hilarious jokes

Like every time I type Ollie I frkkin snort

**Ollie:** i kno u r and i hate u for it

**Crush:** Naaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

C'mon ollie

**Ollie:** fuck u

**Crush:** U no u love me

C'mon Ollie

**Ollie:** no i dont luv u

**Crush:** Yes u do

**Ollie:** fk u

**Crush:** I'm 2 tired 2 fk rn

Also jokes on you I was staright the whole time

Fuck I can't even spell it right

Caught in the lie

**Ollie:** so gay u cant even spell streigjt right

**Crush:** Fuck it's taking over

**Ollie:** strayt

**Crush:** I'm goin stfgbfjforaiggt to hell

**Ollie:** okay turn left up here and then ur gonna go straihtght for a while

**Crush:** I just let out the weirdest fucking noise

**Ollie:** i bet it was steiaght up weird bruh

**Crush:** It was like a manic giggle bc I'd been holding my breath and then u made me lauh

I didn't even know I could make that noise

Fuck what the hell

Dude I'm possessed

**Ollie:** me 2 man

im whats possessing u

**Crush:** O shit

The demon of shitty jokes is here and it's in me

**Ollie:** "but wait..,. if im possessing u, and ur possessing me, then **_who's possessing the plane_ ** "

i want u to know i snorted out loud in the break room typing that sentence

**Crush:** Fk the break room

I'm fuckin

The plane

Wait no I'm not

**Ollie:** y r u fucking the plane

**Crush:** Why does this always happen

~~~

**Ollie:** u would b the one to look at videos abt supernatural on instagram and want to write abt skeletons bc of them

~~~

**Ollie:** astro boy was such a fucked up and sad movie oh my god

**Crush:** I fucking love Astro boy

It's my second-favorite animated movie I just adore it

**Ollie:** it was a great movie but goddamn it was so fuckign sad

and really fucked up

the kid died

he ded

and we just watched an entire movie abt a robot that the dad made of his ded kid

**Crush:** I actually didn't catch on to that fact the first time I watched it? It was only in the second time and I said something about being confused about why the dad was so sad and my mom looked at me and went "his son got blown up"

A+ tact

**Ollie:** "oh you kno its because his son is here.... and there..... and over there..... and a bit over there........"

**Crush:** I would have been like 10 or 11 and my whole world just kinda went ttghbbhhhtthhh

Oh my fuck

**Ollie:** "a bit on the ceiling.... and the floor......... some of its kinda on ur shoes there...... i mean........"

**Crush:** Oh my god

Fuck off

~~~

**Crush:** Well I mean I know the quality of COSOS has dropped dramatically since right around then but it's just always kinda bothered me idk

**Ollie:** the quality of-

eat my dick crush honestly imo COSOS has gotten better as youve gone on because your writing has really improved and shit

**Crush:** I appreciate the aggressiveness of that compliment

~~~

**Ollie:** *eggplant emoji* *tongue emoji*

**Crush:** The tongue is going the wrong way

That's not getting you anywhere

**Ollie:** its just me licking my lips in excitement at the eggplant because i love my vegetables

**Crush:** Have you ever actually had an eggplant bc they're nasty

~~~

**Crush:** Can't have you getting too proud of yourself

**Ollie:** too late

**Crush:** A leetle beet

O no

**Ollie:** o wat

o no wat

**Crush:** Ur head

Is 2 beeg

**Ollie:** wat abt me head

o no

**Crush:** Is 2 beeg

**Ollie:** now wat do we do

**Crush:** Um

Shrink it

Ur memes

They stale

**Ollie:** o no

me head

it shrik

too smal

**Crush** : Yiisssss

O no

2 small

Ok

I can fix

**Ollie** : this is so fckign stupid y am i lauhgign stop

**Crush:** Ur a nice dood

**Ollie:** fuck off i cant breath

**Crush:** Wat

Wat I doo

Breeeeeth

**Ollie:** stop

**Crush:** U need breeth

**Ollie:** jesus christ please stop i just fell out of my chair

**Crush:** O no

U chair

It ded

**Ollie:** STO

STOP

**Crush:** O no

I cant

**Ollie:** im actually tearing up

**Crush:** I stuck

U cri?

**Ollie:** ok im gonna leave until u get ur shit sorted out

i hate you

**Crush:** Cum bac

Oh I didn't think that one through

~~~

**Ollie:** i hun cant hun understand hun your hun accent hun

**Crush:** Oh fuck

I'm laughing so hard

Fuckin

Southerners

**Ollie:** i yall dont yall understand yall what yall ur yall saying yall

**Crush:** I'm from Washington help

I don't understand this hick language

Fucking desert everywhere

~~~

**Ollie** : okay so subject change:

**Crush:** Nice segue

~~~

**Ollie:** fuck off

its too relatevale

**Crush:** Not me either

**Ollie:** relatable

**Crush:** Relatavale

**Ollie:** fuck off

**Crush:** Is that a new au

**Ollie:** eat my dick crush

**Crush:** But I just had breakfast

~~~

**Ollie:** i'm dead i have no idea whats going on

i'm just eating ramen as  _ [[anonymous user]] _ insults me to my face

**Crush:** How dare

Right to your face

I say you should fight them

**Ollie:** but my ramen, crush

**Crush:** THROW IT AT THE MAN

BOILING JUSTICE BITCH

**Ollie:** no this my lunch

**Crush:** Well okay then eat it, but then go fight them

~~~

**Ollie:** red: uh where the fuck is your jacket

red: ur gonna catch a cold

fell: red its 90 degrees out

red: wear the coat you piece of shit i sat on ur fucking egg for weeks and it caused my ass to be misshapen r u gonna just disrespect me like this

**Crush:** Oh my god

**Ollie:** i hate myself

**Crush:** "I sat on ur fuckin eggs for weeks"

"Red why is ur ass so fucked up?" "Fell's egg" "what"

**Ollie:** "fell you fucking hatched from an egg!?" fell just sighs and leaves the room and everyone is so fucking confused

**Crush:** At this point I'm not sure if red is just being a dumbass or if fell actually hated from an egf

What is happening

**Ollie:** red insists he came from an egg and fell doesnt confirm or deny it so no one rly knos

life's greatest mystery

**Crush:** I mean technically Fell wouldn't know either

It gives him an existential crisis sometimes

An  _ egg _ -stistential crisis

**Ollie:** blocked i fucking hate you

**Crush:** O no

Come bac

Ollie

Ollie

Ollie

Ollie

Ollie

Ollie

Ollie: - 07/12/2017

crush fk u

~~~

**Ollie:** and thus the snake consumes its own tail

**Crush:** God damn it third time this week

**Ollie:** how often do u eat ur tail crush

**Crush:** Only all the time

Protein

**Ollie:** fuck you

**Crush:** #nutrition #getfit

~~~

**Crush:** I was making a joke about getting fucked there's no classy way to finish that

~~~

**Ollie:** no yea u get it now

*i

**Crush:** I'm glad I get it since I'm the one who made the joke

**Ollie:** i hate u

**Crush:** <3

**Ollie:** no

**Crush:** Yes

U luv me

**Ollie:** no i dont i hate u

**Crush:** U luv me

So much

All the <3

**Ollie** : ugh

just a little <3

but not too much

**Crush:** Yiiisssssssssssss

Guys Ollie loves me

**Ollie:** im the only 1 here

**Crush:** Ollie guess what

**Ollie:** ugh

what

**Crush:** Ollie loves me

~~~

**Ollie:** u r the only tru juice

**Crush:** What does that even mean

**Ollie:** idk

it made sense to me

**Crush:** How

**Ollie:** idfk leave me alone i try hard to be funny and it doesnt always pan out u just gotta learn to accept that

~~~

**Crush:** I just asked my brother if he liked my perfume and he told me I smelled like loneliness and despair

"oh sorry I meant the crushed dreams of a thousand teenage girls"

**Ollie:** eude de la crush

**Crush:** Shut the fuck up

**Ollie:** nah

**Crush:** You're both dicks

I smell great

I think

~~~

**Ollie:** too late

awake forever bitch

**Crush:** aw fuck man

**Ollie:** lemme brush my teeth and ill be back in a few

**Crush:** i lost my chance

coulda gotten rid of ya 4 ever

5 ever

**Ollie:** fight me

**Crush:** sure

*flops*

defeated, bitch

**Ollie:** eat a dick

**Crush:** im fresh out of dicks here can i borrow yours?

**Ollie:** *hands u razz*

**Crush: *** finger guns*

okay that's not quite what I meant but I'll definitely take it

**Ollie:** "GEE, crush, how come ur mom let u have 2 razzes!?"

**Crush:** "well, i mean, she knows how much I love breaking them!"

**Ollie:** give mine back i want him back

**Crush:** hang on im not done just gotta do smth

**Ollie:** fuk u

**Crush:** can i borrow blue real quick

**Ollie:** ,..,.

ugh fine

but give him back once ur done

**Crush:** okay sounds good!

do you need them both back as...not dust?

**Ollie:** crush they cant fuck if theyre dust

**Crush:** ...true

........do you need Razz back with his mind intact tho

**Ollie:** ......i mean

**Crush:** im taking that as permission

**Ollie:** okay but keep it at a 3/10 mental health scale

**Crush:** "Oh, Razz, honey..." Blue giggled, the sound prompting an automatic, forced smile from Razz. "Or should I say 'blossom baby'? I love when you're so flustered, you say the funniest things!" he leaned forward, and Razz did his best not to tremble in fear. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut, chanting inside his head. I'm okay, I'm happy, I love him, I'm okay, I'm happy...

He felt a thumb trace his jaw, and a kiss pressed to his temple. "It's okay, Razzy. I'll never let them touch you again."

okay here u go u can have them back

**Ollie:** crush

**Crush:** yeah

**Ollie:** crush this isnt my blue

y is he fucking yandere

**Crush:** it is now

i broke him a little bit

only 3/10 tho

~~~

**Crush:** .....im sure you can tell im totally against sads

never wrote an angst in my life

**Ollie:** i already put a fucking new doc in my drive titled "crush is a bitch"

**Crush:** im gonna retitle all of my fics just "ollie is a dick 1" "ollie is a dick 2" etc

~~~

**Ollie:** y do ppl only wanna fuck the skeletons

~~~

**Crush:** dude guess who just found their old itunes account

from like 5th grade or smth

**Ollie:** oh my god

its u isnt it

**Crush:** it totally is

this is amazing

I have fucking funkytown from alvin and the chipmunks

but then also smack that by akon???????

**Ollie:** i think i jsut choked

truly the two greatest songs of our culture

~~~

**Ollie:** spank me daddy

**Crush:** im unfriending you

like irl

~~~

**Crush:** now i want to write smut fuck

OH MAN BET ON IT JUST CAME UP ON SHUFFLE

**Ollie:** write smut to bet on it

**Crush:** Red bursts into the room in "lingerie" (a lace tablecloth he stole from Fell's house and wrapped around like a bath towel) BETONITBETONITBETONIT

IM NOT GONNA STOP THATS WHO I AM ILL GIVE IT ALL I GOT THAT IS MY PLAN

**Ollie:** stop ur making me laugh

fukc off

**Crush:** And sans is just sitting there like  "okay but are you actually gonna fuck me or are you going to enter the school's talent competition? Because after you're done losing that I don't think I'll wanna have sex anymore"

Red's just "okay fine ill do the sex" Sans like "are you sure" "AM I THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MEANS! WHAT! I SAY?!" "Red, wha--" "BET ON IT BET ON IT"

dude i found something even better to write smut to

You know you love me

You know you care

Just shout whenever

And I'll be there

**Ollie:** omfg crush

**Crush:** AND I WAS LIKE

**Ollie:** stahp

**Crush:** BABY BABY BABY OHHHHH

BABY BABY BABY NOOOOOOO

~~~

**Ollie:** thank you for the pile of dicks, its amazing

**Crush:** I thought you might appreciate that photo of you

**Ollie:** okay so i think you should maybe fuck off

~~~

**Ollie:** okay getting off one gross topic and onto another: theres a man in the break room eating a literal tub of butter with a spoon

**Crush:** Same

Me

#relatable

**Ollie:** fuck u i was just about to type that

**Crush:** Ha suck my dick

~~~

**Crush:** Hey I think that makes you the perfect person to bounce ideas off of because you'll probably say that every idea i have is a good one

I was also thinking about having st razz die? what do you think about that idea?

**Ollie:** "should i-" "yeah just fucking go"

i mean

**Crush:** painfully

**Ollie:** uve hurt me so much

**Crush:** and with much angst

**Ollie:** at this point idk what ur planning i just kno its gonna bum me out so whatever man

**Crush:** ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**Ollie:** i kno that u aint gonna kill him tho so

callin ur bluff

i mean im gonna kill razz

i want to see him suffer

**Crush:** okay now i am just to spite you?

im just preemptively revolting

if you fucking kill masquerade razz i will actually unfriend you for like a full hour

**Ollie:** i just choked

that wasnt the plan but it is now thanks crush

**Crush:** no fuck you

it better not be

its a happy story fuck off

**Ollie:** st was a happy story too

**Crush:** okay but consider this: fuck you????

~~~

**Crush:** I definitely miss writing  _ [cherryberry] _ lol

let's dive right into some fucked up shit with it woop woop

miss me w that fluffy shit

~~~

**Crush:** im writing setup bc i had to take a break

**Ollie:** understandavke

**Crush:** and i think im gonna title it "unimaginable" and the summary "sometimes you have to learn to live with the unimaginable" bc of the way im thinking this story might go and im sad????

understandavke i think that's like a city in russia right r u gonna take a vacation or smth?

**Ollie:** warnings include overuse of the word "unimaginable"

leave me alone

~~~

**Ollie:** i mean like honestly im p hot but i just felt ugly atm bc thats what the Man wants u to think

**Crush:** fuck the man

**Ollie:** hes a psychological construct of capitalism i cant fucj him bc he aint real

**Crush:** next best thing would be to fuck every single person with a government job

and hey that technically includes me between the months of September and June so feel free anytime

**Ollie:** fuxking

i hate u

**Crush:** i mean

sure

any sorta passion works, really

**Ollie:** SHUT UP

**Crush:** idk man im not really into the gagging thing

**Ollie:** im changing the subject

which sans has the best abs

~~~

**Ollie:** i think it offers great juxtaposition

**Crush:** that's a big word man good job

~~~

**Crush:** neil patrick harrislmao

**Ollie:** neil patrick harrislmao is my favorite person

wow

i just

love how he met my motherlmao

**Crush:** himym is actually my favorite show

so eat all the dicks

**Ollie:** ah yes himym is so great

just the way he

*clenches fists*

meets that mother

**Crush:** ollie why

**Ollie:** ive never seen the show

**Crush:** I love it despite the rampant misogyny and terrible life choices

~~~

**Ollie:** well as long as im in the fucked up mood i guess i will write some angst of my own

**Crush:** woooop

**Ollie:** no whop

whoop

none

stop

**Crush:** lmaooooo

**Ollie:** u were crying too so shut the fuck up

**Crush:** im memeing through the pain

~~~

**Ollie:** fuck! stretch! up!

~~~

**Crush:** especially because i headcanon that anytime there is a cherryberry relationship and red has a good relationship with fell that Fell is super protective about him. Like he tells people Blue is the "brother he never had" and red's just like "im right here asshole"

~~~

**Ollie:** sorry to go from talking abt how amazing becky is behind her back to angst but i finished the fucking angsty thing and i honestly hate myself

~~~

**Crush:** Hmm I just got this notification and apparently Ollie has shared "crush is a bitch" with me

**Ollie:** shit i forgot to change the doc title

**Crush:** 2 late now man

I already know ur true feelings

**Ollie:** u kno what fuxking whatever

im doig it fuck off

bleh

**Crush:** Ha

Ha ha

Ha ha HA

I don't know why I'm doing that don't ask me

~~~

**Crush:** YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS

Dude do you have Siri??

If you do say nine-eleven and it freaking says "bush did it"

I'm fuckin

**Ollie:** i love siri

i only allow myself to talk to her and i have been slowly winning her affections by flirting

soon im gonna have a robot gf

will smith would be so proud of me

**Crush:** Pffttt

Did you try it??

**Ollie:** I JSUT ACCIDENTALLY ALMOST DIALED 911

CRUSH U UCKING LIED TO ME

siri goes "calling emergency services in 5 seconds"

**Crush:** *manic giggling

**Ollie:** fuck u fuck u fuck u

i fucking trusted u

bitch

**Crush** : I'm laughing so hard

**Ollie:** i hate you

**Crush:** Love you Ollie!!!! <333

**Ollie:** no bitch

~~~

**Ollie:** and i mean im not gonna waster half a blunt

**Crush:** that's pretty _lit_

**Ollie:** no

do not with me right now

**Crush:** i appreciate you being _blunt_ about it

**Ollie:** i am high i will hunt you down

no

**Crush:** Helps me to _weed_ out when you're being dishonest

and I have a pretty _high_ standard for honesty

**Ollie:** i fucking hate you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would also like to add in the fact that right before they left they made a joke about me sending them the word "fuck" 1300 times while they were gone so as soon as they left I sent them the word "fuck" 1300 times so...  
> I am very excited to see their reaction to that  
> (fk u ollie)


	119. fk u ollie 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright here's the rest of it lmao
> 
> Also nsfw warning, it was too funny not to include im sorry please skip over it if you're a minor it's clearly marked

**Ollie:** yea hes pretty

lit

hweh hweh hweh

**Crush:** im blocking u

from my mind

ur gone

whos ollie

**Ollie:** ollie it me

**Crush:** who u

wat

**Ollie:** o no

u don remember

:c

**Crush:** o no

there he go

is a me

maaaaarrriiiioooooooooo

This has been A Poem by Crush, thank you for coming

**Ollie:** fuk u that made em laguhg

**Crush:** o no

no laf

not allow

all ughs

not the boot kind of ugg the angsty teen kind of ugh

just 2 b clear

**Ollie:** o ok i c wat u mean

**Crush:** glad 2 help

fuck wait i dont remember typing that

~~~

**Ollie:** more lie

y u lie to me crush

**Crush:** No lie

**Ollie:** i though we were friends :cry:

**Crush:** All the funny

We're not obviously c'mon man I thought you knew we were enemies

**Ollie:** all the lie

**Crush:** Ur my nemesis

**Ollie:** mortal enemies

battle to the death

except like

with words

**Crush:** Yeah

**Ollie:** and gay skeletons

**Crush:** Like "fight me" and I'm gonna use reds dick as my weapon of choice

**Ollie:** my weapon is razz's and fell's combined egos

unless thats too op

**Crush:** Well that's way bigger than reds dick but I mean nothing in denser than red so I'll have some power

**Ollie:** i just choked i hate myself

**Crush:** It made me laugh as I was typing it

**Ollie:** we're roasting fictional characters

**Crush:** I'm always roasting these assholes

**Ollie:** i cast a spell that makes your defense within equal proportion to blue's innocence

**Crush:** Like the other day I saw this really tiny little blue bead that was shaped vaguely like a dick and in my head I went "oh man someone should get this back to blue"

**Ollie:** i fukcing hate tou

**Crush:** Oh shit so zero defense fantastic

**Ollie:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Crush** : Well your defense is now equal to Razz's happiness in string theory

**Ollie:** oh shit

how happy is he abt one direction

**Crush:** He sad because they're broken up

**Ollie:** o no

**Crush** : Oyiiis

**Ollie** : so we both have zero defense

 

~~~

*after I was being a lil shit (again)*

**Crush:** ily

**Ollie:** ugh

ily2

~~~

**Ollie:** oh shit man

dude get motivated!!!

um!!!

cheerleading stuff!!!!

~~~

**Crush:** yupperdoodles

**Ollie:** do me a favor and never fucking say that again

**Crush:** say what?

yupperdoodles?

**Ollie:** do not start with me

do not do this

i have work at 7am tomorrow

**Crush:** im never allowed to say "yupperdoodles" ever again?

**Ollie:** crush please

~~~

**Crush:** see man wrote that myself and everything

**Ollie:** u stole that from me too

**Crush:** i would never

~~~

**Crush** : how about fuck off

im fresh's number 1 fan so you can fight me

**Ollie:** im fresh's #2 fan so calm the fuck down

**Crush:** CALM DOW--

WHAT

HOW DARE YOU

I REFUSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

~~~

**Crush:** Whoa it's like looking at a photo of me, the Coolest Person Ever

**Ollie:** shut the fuck up 

~~~

**Ollie:** crush help im waxing poetic

~~~

**Ollie:** i honestly am so gay

~~~

**Crush:** Like I wasn't into guys before but now that I know they're in possession of veiny mushroom meat tubes?? Sign me the fuck up

~~~

**Ollie:** oh my god

crush ur a sinner

get ready for hell

kissing b4 marriage

unbelievable

~~~

**Crush:** Yes he's not as hot in the photos as I remember him being in person

He's like 6'9 so it's possible I couldn't see his face all the way up there

**Ollie:** i just burst out laughing

**Crush:** XDDD

just for context I'm like 5'5

**Ollie:** OHHHHH IM TALLER THAN U

**Crush:** WHAT I MEANT TO SAY IT'S THAT I'M LIKE SEVEN FEET TALL

**Ollie:** YEA UH HUH I BET

**Crush:** So yeah I'm actually taller than you take that

**Ollie:** i mean i never actually stated my height so i could b taller than 7ft

**Crush:** I'm a 7 foot 12 year old it's all on my birth certificate

I'm going to assume you're not Andre the Giant

**Ollie:** i am actually clifford the big red dog

**Crush:** Did your parents feed you lots of miracle gro?

**Ollie:** ya i ate that shit up as a kid just

slurp

**Crush:** I really don't know how to feel about this

**Ollie** : abt what

how much i love miracle grow?

slurp

its my favorite

**Crush:** "slurp"

**Ollie:** slurpppppp

~~~

**Crush:** R u my co pilot

Cause I wanna take u to the cockpit :wink::wink::wink::wink::wink::wink:

**Ollie:** i hate you

~~~

_ *NSFW discussion warning, I don’t want to censor this one, it’s just too funny* _

**Crush:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG84v8ljRfc I'm imagining Razz teaching Blue how to properly train and there's a lot of sexual tension on his end (probably bc of Blue's idea of a workout outfit? idk i could see Blue showing up shirtless or something like LETS DO THIS)

**Ollie:** i think i just choked

im wheezing tho bc u kno that razz is gonna b a perfectionist abt it so when blue does something he would go up and like adjust his posture and stuff and is just like "dont stare dont stare stop it razz, jesus fucking christ youre worse than red"

**Crush:** "you're worse than red" now im choking fuck

Blue's just like "am I doing this right?" and purposefully is completely doing it wrong so that Razz with have to come and fix it

**Ollie:** im fucking

blue purposefully posing his hips wrong with his hands in front of him so razz has to come behind him to adjust them, and blue "overcorrects" so that he grinds back against the other and

**Crush:** THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING

like Razz comes up to fix something and has to be right up against his back and Blue drops the weight on purpose and has to bend over to get it

Pops back up with the weight and just grins over his shoulder "what do I do next, razz?"

**Ollie:** and it just kinda gets quiet and u can hear the gears in razz's head turning and he just quietly "no thats a little too far back just" pushes his hips forward a few inches "okay thats good" and he walks away a few steps and "okay training is over for today" "razz all we did was just a few stretches" "we're done." "wow, youre starting to sound like sans!" and razz jsut tenses up because the only thing worse than popping a boner trying to help his occasional fuckbuddy work out is being compared to sans

**Crush:** I just burst out laughing

HA JOKES ON YOU WERE GONNA TRAIN FOR THE WHOLE DAY NOW BLUE SUCK ON THAT

"i dunno if im in the mood for that kind of cardio right now razz"

**Ollie:** i hate that im laughing

razz is trying to push blue to the point of exhaustion and blue is trying to push razz to just bend him over the weight rack and fuck him already

**Crush:** okay new headcanon blue has given up on telling razz to watch his language, instead, every time Razz is like "fuck me" or something blue's just like "i dunno man im kinda tired" and this is all before they've done anything and everyone around them is just like "you two need to fuck already, hell's sakes"

pfffttt

like he already knows perfectly well how to work out this is just a challenge for him

"how many pushups does it take to get Razz to fuck me"

or better yet "which piece of equipment am i gonna get wrecked on this week"

blue's talking to red later and red's bragging about the weird places he's had sex and blues just like "well ive done it on almost every piece of exercise equipment in Razz's basement. That dang pull-up bar is gonna be a real challenge"

**Ollie:** i hate u bc now im tempted to try and figure out just how they would have sex on the pull-up bar

**Crush:** im getting an image of razz trying to climb up there like an idiot and falling off

**Ollie:** i mean the most obvious is oral when blues like doing pull ups and its "if u let go then i'll stop"

i mean if u wanna go the shitpost route then sure

**Crush:** dude thats hardcore i was realistically just thinking using it as an anchor for bondage or something

of course the shitpost route cmon

**Ollie:** yea thats a lot more convenient bc everything otherwise is just shitpost tbh

u do pull ups to move urself up and down on the dick

or fingers or whatever

shitpost

**Crush:** i just burst out laughing

fucks sake

blue gets tired and razz is like "wait we didn't think this through"

#BlueMagic,Bitches

**Ollie:** see like?? kinda sexy but more stupid than anything. tho i feel like they would do it anyways just bc they r committed to fucking on the equipment

**Crush:** they totally would though

and they're both invested in the challenge too like "oh lets fuck on the treadmill" "that's too easy" "lets fuck on the treadmill while it's on?" "that's more like it"

**Ollie:** "razz my arms are getting tired, this was an awful idea" "no, fuck you, we've started and im not going to let you stop until youve had at least one orgasm on it"

someone walks in while theyre detailing how to fuck while they use all the equipment

**Crush** : Slim's just "well i wasn't gonna work out before but im definitely not touching any of this ever again"

**Ollie:** how the hell would u fuck while ur on a treadmill tho

**Crush:** put the vagina owner leaned back against the display with their legs over the bars and the dick owner has 2 run to do the fuk

**Ollie:** blue and razz come over to fell's to work out and hes

I JFUCJTINF

FUCKY IU

I JUST HOEKD ON MY PIZZA

**Crush:** im laughing so hard rn

cmon man itd certainly spice things up

**Ollie:** "babe u gotta run 4 the puss"

**Crush:** or u could wear them as a backwards backpack

but thats not nearly as fun

they're both so stubborn that they would start these stupid-ass ideas, realize that they were stupid and probably not going to work, but fucking do it anyway because fuck giving up and somehow orgasm happens??? like even they dont know how they get to that point

**Ollie:** all i can think of is that taylor swift commercial where she fucking falls and shoots off the bottom of the treadmill and like. the runner taking the other out with them and stretch walks down into the basement to see razz and blue both naked and unconscious in front of the still-going treadmill

**Crush:** fucks sake for the treadmill one you know how your legs get shaky when you come? razz fucing comes and then falls over and gets shot across the room at high speeds

blue is just losing his shit right up until he realizes he's stuck

**Ollie:** oh better yet they have it at a reasonable speed and since blue is leaning up against the speed control and clicks it up to maximum mode and razz goes flying

**Crush:** I JSUT FUKCIN

He does it on purpose bc he's an asshole

after the third time Razz is beginning to realize that he wants a divorce

**Ollie** : why is thsi so fuckign funny

**Crush:** bc any image of razz getting flung across a room by a treadmill is hilarious? He's so tiny it'd just be like nyoom

and then blue just sitting there like an absolute asshole laughing at him and razz is all pissy

like this is hilarious

**Ollie:** but razz leaving blue stuck on the treadmill and like continuing to work out while still naked and shit and blue realizes that he made a mistake as he watches the sweat roll down the others spine and

legit sexy times im fuckinf dead

**Crush:** fuckin

damn it

**Ollie:** some being like "okay is there any piece of equipment that you havent fucked on?" and blue just "well theres the two-pound weights" and he and razz just make eye contact and fast forward to a few hours later and blue is doing some pretty intense keguls

**Crush:** i just had to fucking google what that was and i can't stop laughing

**Ollie:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Crush:** fucks sake

~~~

**Ollie:** uh i mean

memes

dabs

**Crush:** whoa so cool

i cant even

**Ollie** : um yea

bc im

cool

and not a nerd

like u

ohhhhHHHH

**Crush** : how about fuck off

i have all the memes and coolness

i own like two pairs of sunglasses and a snapback

**Ollie:** sweats oh shit

**Crush:** ye thats right

ur in the presence of the real cool

~~~

**Ollie:** i just came up with a fairly decent prompt do u wanna hear it

**Crush:** hell yeah

**Ollie:** you just got done eating buffalo wings and we arent having sex until youve brushed your teeth and washed your hands because i do NOT want that sauce anywhere near my more sensitive areas

**Crush:** fucks sake

i snorted

**Ollie:** cherryberry

**Crush:** fukcign

reds such a champ

**Ollie:** plot twist: blue is the one who ate the buffalo wings

**Crush:** okay now im imagining red saying that and blue just looking down at himself then looking up with this shit-eatching grin and going "sensation play" like he's funny

**Ollie:** oh my fuckgn god

**Crush:** someone comes into their house to see red just power-walking around and blue following right behind him with sauce on his hands "c'mon babe it'll be fun" "get away from me"

~~~

**Ollie:** blue uses his tattoos to flirt at every given opportunity i cant

**Crush:** he has one on his collarbone that's really small and you have to lean in really close to see it and it just says "bite me"

**Ollie:** around it theres a scar where razz did just that

**Crush:** *snicker*

~~~

**Crush:** whats the word for hearable

~~~

**Crush:** red would totally buy his nephew a fake ID though

but he would purposely make it say they're only 20

just to fuck with em

**Ollie:** he gets mad at him for it and he just sighs and "yea fuck okay hold on" and he takes a sharpie and draws a moustache on his picture and draws a line over the zero so its kinda 21 and

~~~

**Crush:** wow dude you just named a chapter of string theory how does it feel

**Ollie:** it feels like my mother would be disappointed in me

~~~

**Crush:** um excuse me this is the cops and crush is ded and its ur fault

under arrest

~~~

_ *Talking about Chapter 100* _

**Crush:** I honestly kind of thought about doing that again though with string theory lmao

like give it a few years and sans finds out he's pregnant and red gets all fucking excited and then oops Crush is satan

~~~

**Ollie:** also also blue would be the kind of person to shout "THIS IS MY JAM" to every song that comes on the radio which is y no1 wants to take car rides with him

**Crush:** Also when blue drives he dances very enthusiastically. There is very little wheel-holding involved

~~~

**Ollie** : ive honestly been thinking abt doing a snake thing bc i have a rly good idea for some of the snakes of the skellies but i feel like its overdone

but sans would definitely be an anaconda

**Crush:** my

anaconda

dont

**Ollie:** no

but red would be a rattlesnake and blue would be like a tree snake (i havent rly gone thru all the types to figure it out yet so shhhhh)

but razz is a fucking black mamba

mostly bc i abt killed myself laughing bc those snakes like lift themselves up to make themselves taller and i thought it was so funny abt razz doing that

**Crush:** I love that so much

I also really like the fact that Red would never stop saying that things "rattle his bones" if he can talk

**Ollie:** sans getting a baby rattle and like following him around and shakes rattle, ppl freak out and run away from red "SANS WHAT THE FUCK"

**Crush:** pfffttt

Red starts carrying around a garden hose and like tying it around people "that's u sans"

**Ollie:** i cant fuckign

anacondas love water so lije sans going in a lake to a boat and shaking the rattle and everyone jumping out, red from the shoreline screaming "THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE ANY LOGICAL FUCKING SENSE"

**Crush:** I'm laughing so hard

It's even funnier if like...the other people can't understand them but they can understand each other? So Sans is a little shit all the time but then people are like "oh you poor baby was the rattlesnake attacking you?"

**Ollie:** i just choked

them being pets and having names, and they all know each others real names but being called something different

like the papyruses r their owners

and everyone has a fairly normal name aside from razz, and his is Mr. Bigglesworth

(mostly bc that was the name of my snake)

**Crush:** Sans and Red refuse to call him anything but Mr. Bigglesworth

PLEASE CALL ME LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE" "okay mr. WorthBiggle"

**Ollie:** i hate thsi why am i laughign

~~~

**Crush:** OH and then apparently fish was going to draw Ink, and then I'm going to put wings on him. That's going to be fun as hell, R A I N B O W W I N G S

**Ollie:** gay wings

**Crush:** #me

**Ollie:** okay but fucking like everyone else has wings and theyre like "oh my god, ink, lets see your rainbow wings!!" and he pulls them out and theyre just

monochrome

**Crush:** That would be so sad

But what would be kinda cool is if they monochrome but he paints them

**Ollie:** IT DEPENDS ON THE COLOR OF YOUR SOUL OR SHIT???

**Crush:** And it would make sense since he doesn't have a soul, right?

**Ollie:** oh man so he doest have one

yea

he sucks

**Crush:** What if he doesn't even have wings

**Ollie:** ,,..,.,.,.,.,

fairy tutu wings

the elastic kind that strap on your back

**Crush** : So everyone's showing off their wings and they're like "ink where are yours" and he (fuck you that's funny) takes off his shirt and turns around and one of his many many tattoos is just these rainbow wings across his scapula

"I was tired of not having any"

**Ollie:** fuck u

making me sad

~~~

**Ollie:** YO

DUDE

FUCKING

DUDE

**Crush** : YES DUDE???

**Ollie:** DUDE

TAHTS GOOD SHIT DUDE

**Crush:** THANK YOU DUDE

**Ollie:** ANYTIME DUDE

**Crush:** DUDE

**Ollie:** YEAH DUDE?

**Crush:** IDK DUDE

**Ollie:** OH OKAY DUDE

**Crush** : What is happening

**Ollie:** idk man its freaking me out

we r being possessed by frat boys

~~~

**Ollie:** bitch

<3

its an angry heart

~~~

**Crush:** Fuck Red I think I'm finally ready to admit to myself that I have a new favorite

**Ollie** : who would u rather fuck, since that is a thing that you do

**Crush:** Rather fuck Blue rather be fucked by Red. It's two totally different things man XDDD

**Ollie:** oh my god

hold on i need to log into my bible app

um hello yes jesus

my friend is a sinner

**Crush:** Yeah like you wouldn't let Razz fuck you up

**Ollie:** okay

listen

first of all bitch dont u dare call me out like this

**Crush:** Yeah exactly so don't call me out man

**Ollie:** um??? fuck you???

**Crush:** Now I'm gonna go write CherryCrushBerry

It's my new otp

**Ollie:** u make me want to die

~~~

**Crush:** Headcanon that Razz has a closet full of extra alarm clocks because he creatively destroys his every time it wakes him up. That's the only birthday present slim ever gets him is a shitton of alarm clocks

He usually wakes up before his alarm but when he's hungover or whatever, that's when it wakes him up

**Ollie:** "BLUE, DONT OPEN THAT CLOSET!" "why ha ha, do you keep kinky stuff in here?" and blue opens the door and a fucking avalanche of alarm clocks come tumbling out and bury him alive,

its mostly just a sort of contest for him, waking up like 2 minutes before and staring at the clock smugly before it goes off and smacking his hand down on it and when it goes off before he wakes up he doesnt like admitting defeat so he "kills" it

~~~

**Ollie:** im putting it in when blue goes on the hunt for the razz Booty

**Crush** : WOW????????????

okay i take it all back

the razz booty

"on the hunt for the razz booty" is blue's facebook relationship status

**Ollie:** i use booty too much when referring to characters

its his twitter bio

**Crush:** he changes it to "found the razz booty" sometimes and stretch isn't sure what to think of that

**Ollie:** "hey bro whatcha doing" "im on the hunt for the razz booty" "blue im literally right fucking beside you" "... _ success _ "

**Crush:** I'm jsut

looks over very shocked, then grabs razz's butt and uses the other hand to fist pump "success"(edited)

in the middle of sex like lifts him up and goes "found it" "found what" "the razz booty" "oh my god go away"

**Ollie:** blue being that white dad in movies who always smacks his wifes ass as he walks past

**Crush:** oh my fukcign

blue is such a white dad though

**Ollie:** he is

**Crush:** "hey honey i say we should buy this run-down house and get a new start on life. it's marked down really far because apparently like someone died in it but its not like that really changes anything right?"

razz is like "yeah sure i want to die anyway"

**Ollie:** he would be the kind of person to only shop in the organic section of the supermarket

**Crush:** fuck that he shops excusively at farmers markets

**Ollie:** calls everyone "sport" and "bucko"

**Crush:** "ONLY FRESH PRODUCE FROM THE COMMUNITY RAZZ" "Blue we need to pay rent"

**Ollie** : "blue weve eaten nothing but tomatoes for the past week, for the love of god, just buy some fucking ramen or some shit" "uh?? sure i guess. i like destroying the environment and ruining the local economy too." "blue." "hey remember that time you almost sold me as a slave?" "....so which farmers market did you want to go to again?"

**Crush:** YES

I JUST LOST MY SHIT

**Ollie:** in other news razz is whipped even if he wont admit it

~~~

**Ollie:** slim is my fursona

~~~

**Crush:** razz and blue keep a tally of how many bathrooms they've fucked in

there's a map in their bedroom with a bunch of Xs over random buildings and one day someone asks about it and its just "we're trying to have sex in every bathroom in the city"

Fell gets pissed because his house has like 12 Xs on it "WHY IS MINE THE ONLY ONE WITH A TALLY I DONT HAVE 12 BATHROOMS" "We're trying to have sex in every room of your house" "WHY" "It's a nice house"

**Ollie:** blue, desperately trying to shove a bag of stolen money and jewels under their bed: UHH THATS OUR MAP OF THE BATHROOMS WE'VE FUCKED IN

okay i love that

**Crush:** I just fucking

Fuck you now i wanna write bonnie and clyde rottenberry

~~~

**Ollie:** "they couldn't have given me a tough sounding name, could they?" "i dont know, i think its kinda cute." "who wrote this article, im hunting them down." "razzy, baby, come on now. we have a job tomorrow!" "afterwards, then." "mmm. fine. but dont change mine because i like it."

**Crush:** Blue refers to himself in the third person as baby blue occasionally and razz just gives him this look like "fucking christ" and he can never decide if it's because he's annoyed or because blue is so fucking cute

**Ollie:** "what do you think my new crime name should be?" "rabid razz." "im not an old west villain." "razor razz." "okay, so youre no help at all. i want something classy." "classy razz." "blue."


	120. Fish 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright. The first chapter received such a positive response that I decided to try to do a [full fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11711616) with this. It only has the same two chapters that are on here right now but if you want the future updates go bookmark or subscribe to that! I'll have the same link in the end notes too!

Okay so here’s the thing. 

Blue actually really  _ liked _ going to the aquarium. He thought the fish were pretty cool, and dude, there were  _ sharks _ . Who doesn’t like sharks? When he was little (well, littler than he was now) his dad would bring him on the weekends and they would get jellyfish-shaped ice cream bars and sneak them out of the food court to go eat them outside of the jellyfish tanks, “Like the sick dudes we are”. His dad would snicker like he was funny and bite the legs off, then screech because he’d forgotten that ice cream is too cold to be bitten, and Blue  _ loved _ it. 

But it was quite a bit different when he had to sit here by some stupid turtles while  _ his _ dad held hands with  _ Red _ . 

He tapped his heels against the bench he was seated on, glaring at the shell of some innocent little creature as though it was the cause of all his problems. Beside him, Fell had a book in his lap, legs crossed and completely focused down on the text. He really liked that real-life animal stuff, with all the scientific information and names and things. Blue’d always been more partial to fairytales and grand adventure stories, but since they’d had to start sharing a room, he’d been forced to make room on his bookshelf for all of Fell’s nerd stuff. 

Fell was fine, he guessed. He’d just be a lot better if he didn’t come along with his dad’s stupid boyfriend. 

He glanced back over at the adults, huffing as he saw how little attention was being paid to them. Well, fine. If they weren’t going to pay attention, it was their own fault. 

Without a sound, he stood up, ignoring the questioning glance Fell shot him, and walked out of the turtle exhibit. He had a few dollars in his pocket, maybe he’d go get some ice cream by  _ himself _ and then come back. Maybe being scared would mean that his dad would actually want to pay attention to him when they came to  _ their _ \--

“Where the hell are you going?”

He glanced over his shoulder to see Fell following him, and sighed. “What do you want?”

Fell gave him an appraising look, tucking his book under one arm. “I wanted to know why you’re taking off without telling your dad. Again.” It was only a few steps before he had caught up, and they were walking along the hallway side by side, Fell’s longer stride making Blue have to quicken his steps to keep up. 

Blue rolled his eyes. “It’s his fault that he doesn’t pay enough attention to know when I leave.”

They were quiet for a moment as they emerged into the main part of the aquarium, the huge tank in the middle of the floor filled with fish and surrounded by the food court. 

“You know, I don’t like sharing my dad either.”

Shooting the other a disgusted look, Blue started pushing through the crowd, heading for the ice cream stand he knew was on the other side. Fell sighed quietly before following him, holding onto his book tightly and eyes darting from side to side as he took in their surroundings. 

Suddenly, Blue felt a hand on his upper arm, grabbing him and tugging him back into Fell’s side. He turned, making a face as he prepared to yell at the other, but was quickly distracted by the fact that he was pointing at an area a few yards from them, right against the large tank. 

“Hey, isn’t that the kid from the other day who likes the fish so much?”

Blue followed his pointing finger, spotting a figure in a purple t-shirt wandering along the side of the glass, eyes fixed on a bright orange fish. He raised a brow, looking around quickly before looking back at Fell. “Where’s his dad?”

“His brother,” Fell corrected quietly, glancing around before setting his mouth, holding his book tighter to his side. “I’m gonna go talk to him.”

Blue was left standing alone as Fell made his way over to the other, mouth working as he tried to come up with a response. Finally, he sighed, following the other and mumbling something about “can’t even talk” under his breath. 

Fell walked up to the other, getting into his path much like he had a few weeks ago. 

“Hi,” he said, waving quickly to catch the other’s attention. “You’re Rax, right?”

“Razz,” Blue said quietly, coming to stand just next to them. “Are you okay, Razz?”

There was no response, Razz’s eyes quickly drifting away from Fell’s and down to the floor, fidgeting as he seemed to be looking for a way to step around the two children. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Blue asked, furrowing his brow and not noticing the long-suffering look Fell was shooting him. When there was no response, Blue made a face. “Can you even understand us?”

Fell let out an explosion of breath, glaring at Blue. “Of course he can understand us. Just because he’s different doesn’t mean he’s stupid.”

Razz looked up at that, looking between the two of them before curling one hand into a fist, tapping the heel of it against his forehead before gesturing vaguely at Blue. 

Fell burst out laughing as Blue stared at the other, looking flabbergasted. “Did he just call me stupid?”

Still giggling quietly, Fell waved his hand again, catching Razz’s attention before he asked, “Where is your brother?”. When there was no response, Fell asked again, this time accompanying the question with the sign for brother. 

Razz looked up at the ceiling, then down at the floor, then up somewhere off to the left of Fell’s eyes. Then he lifted a hand, touching his forehead with the tips of his fingers before turning his wrist, then dropped his hand before lifting it again, zigzagging his hand forward. 

“What did he say?” Blue asked quietly, turning to Fell in confusion. His dad had taught him sign language a long time ago so that he could talk to grandpa, but grandpa’s signs were always clear and exact, like something straight out of a textbook. Razz’s hands performed the motions more sloppily, and he was at a loss for the first part of the statement, even if the sign for ‘fish’ had been just as obvious as all the times he’d done it the last time they’d seen him. 

“I don’t know,” Fell murmured, and Blue narrowed his eyes. 

“I thought you were supposed to be good at this.”

“No, he said ‘I don’t know’, idiot.”

 

“Oh.”

Rolling his eyes, Fell turned back to the smaller monster, holding out his free hand and asking, “Do you want to find him?” Razz made the sign for ‘fish’ again, and Fell nodded. “Yeah, there are fish all over, we can go see some more.”

Razz flapped his hands in excitement, beginning to charge off in a random direction before Fell snagged the cloth of his shirt, redirecting him to the doorway Blue and Fell had just emerged from. 

They started back down the hall, Razz squinting up at the lights and repeatedly opening and closing his mouth. Blue just stared at him as they walked, one brow cocked. He knew that the other was the same sort of kid that Red taught, but he never really paid much attention when he talked about it. It honestly all seemed kind of...weird, to him, but Razz wasn’t really that bad. 

They walked into the turtle exhibit just as Red and Stretch were walking out, panicked looks in their eyes that quickly died into relieved anger as they recognized their kids. 

“ _ Blue-- _ ,” Stretch started, but Blue held up his hands in defense. 

“Look who we found!” he said, gesturing exaggeratedly at Razz, who was staring at the turtles with his brow scrunched up. 

Red looked down at Razz, then at Fell. “Did you just kidnap someone?” Fell snorted, but before he could say anything, Red continued, “As proud as I am of you already starting your life of crime, you should probably...like...not.”

“This is Razz, dad. He’s the one we met a few weeks ago in the children’s area who likes fish,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes at the other’s antics. “He lost his brother.”

Red nodded slowly, recognition coming into his eyes before he crouched down, catching Razz’s attention before making the sign for brother. Razz stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, focused on the bright red of his eyelights before he seemed to catch on that he was being talked to. “Where is your brother?” Red asked exaggeratedly, voice upturning at the end of the sentence. 

Razz’s eyes dropped at the attention, and he made the sign for fish. 

Red furrowed his brow, standing quickly and gesturing for the others to follow. “I’m sure the front desk can make an announcement, and maybe we can swing by where we saw them last time in case he’s looking for him around there?”

Blue sighed, reaching up to tug on the bright blue scarf around his neck before upturning his eyes to his dad. Stretch looked down, making eye contact with the other, then raised a brow, his expression letting Blue know he wasn’t out of trouble for wandering off before reaching out and clasping his free hand. Blue didn’t even try to hide his self-satisfied grin at the face that now  _ he _ got to hold his dad’s hand instead of Red. 

They left the turtle exhibit, Fell not holding onto Razz’s sleeve anymore, but he followed along anyway, seeming excited as they got closer to the kid’s area. As they walked, he kept pausing to tilt his head to the side, squinting up at the lights until Red would carefully redirect him onward, nudging his shoulders or back gently. 

As they got closer to the area, they started to hear raised voices, and it was only a moment before Razz came to an abrupt stop again, listening for a moment before giving an excited flutter of breath, making the sign for fish before dashing off down the hall. 

Red attempted to block him, but was too slow, and he cursed under his breath as Blue and Fell immediately took off, following behind him. 

“-- _ WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND!!” _ came a voice down the hall, thick with panicked tears, and Blue winced, making sure to keep Razz in sight as he sprinted after him. They entered the children’s room to see it nearly empty, save for a security guard and--Blue sighed in relief and slowed to a walk--Razz’s brother. 

There were terrified tears in his eyes, and he was gesturing widely as he shouted at the other man, who was saying something along the lines of, “Well if he’s nearly eight, as you say--”

“Stop repeating the same things over and over! He wouldn’t listen to an announcement, he’d sooner walk off with a stranger than--”

“Razz!” Fell yelled, nearly bowling Blue over as he ran into the room.

Slim jumped, turning to look at the newcomers just as Razz reached him, smacking at his legs and holding his arms into the air. Slim was frozen for a moment, then he sobbed in relief, dropping to one knee and scooping Razz into his arms. “Oh, thank f-fucking Asgore…”

“Uh-teen”

“Don’t e-even think about it, dude. If that’s your f-first word, dad’ll roll over in his g-grave.”

With Slim seemingly squeezing him as tightly as he could, it wasn’t long before Razz was squirming to get down, making the sign for down a few times before drawing in a deep breath, preparing to scream. Slim was quick to set him down then, distracted for a moment by glaring at the unhelpful security guard before turning to the other kids in the room. 

At that moment, Red and Stretch entered the room, looking more than a little worn out from the general stress of constantly having to chase their children around. Red sighed in relief as he saw Slim, still gripping tightly onto Razz’s hand as he started tugging him towards the fish tanks. 

“So I see you found him, then!”

Slim nodded, his still tear-filled eyes lightening in recognition at the sight of the others. “Yes...yeah, he just….I was just...I couldnt find his snacks, so I was looking through the bag for them, and I looked up a-and--” he cut himself off, reaching up to rub at his eyes as Razz finally succeeded in pulling his hand away, running straight to the tank with the new red fish. 

Red crossed the room quickly, holding out a hand to Fell on his way. Snorting, Fell reached into his pocket and pulled out a package of Kleenexes, handing them to his dad before turning to Blue, raising a brow. 

“T-thank you for bringing him back,” Slim was saying, and Blue answered Fell’s questioning look with a glare. He knew he was in trouble. He wasn’t going to run away again. Fell could shut up. 

Avoiding the other’s annoyance, he turned to look at Razz, circling the tanks yet again. As he watched, the other paused, face pressed up to the glass for a moment before turning away from the fish, seeming to be searching for a new subject. 

….Alright. Maybe “weird” wasn’t quite...

He shook his head, sighing quietly as his mind whirled. Maybe he should start listening to Red’s stories a little more closely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the [full fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11711616)!


	121. Tumblr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random things I've put on Tumblr, including two drabbles there at the end. 
> 
> [Tumblr](crushingonsans.tumblr.com)  
> No, this isn't a self-promo shush (please follow me im kinda cool and stuff I promise)

**The Signs As String Theory Chapter Titles**

**Aries:[Will your mouth still remember the taste of deez nuts](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F23358828&t=ZTEwOTc5MDJkMTM3ODZjMzY5ZmIxN2RhNWQxYTYyNzA5NDM5ZjQyNixjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Taurus:[Fun lighthearted baking chapter](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F22844522&t=MTc1OWE3ODMzNmQ5MWNlNmJhMWQ5YjM5ZGU0MmU5MGE1YzAxZGFhYSxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Gemini:[Platonic sex under the stars between bros](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F22995009&t=NDFlMDBiNTE5NzMxMDZhYzljOWM5NTJkYjY2ZTdhZmMyNGQ2M2Q3MCxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Cancer:[Well you all knew it couldn’t be happy for too long, here you go](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F23417334&t=YzQ2OGI4OTIwYjdhYmFmZjgxMmVjMzZjNTM4MmVkMThhYmEwN2E3OCxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Leo:[Is it hot in here or is it just me?](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F22676288&t=ZTcwOTE1ZmMzMTdmMDA3YWQ4MWQ3NDE2ZDlkY2M3OTA0NzM2NGNmYixjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Virgo:[Go put some goddamn clothes on](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F22527500&t=MDNiOWM1YjZlOTJkY2JjZmI0MzU0ZmY0ODdmYWUxZGE4MDViYjhkNCxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Libra:[More of the same bullshit honestly](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F23576277&t=MTRhNTYyNGYyYjhhNzhlNTBhMDlmNTA2YTdmYmNjY2NkZjNhMTJjNCxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Scorpio:[This chapter would be an apology if I felt bad lmao](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F22884672&t=MzZmZGI5ZjI1ZTJjOTk5NTQxMzQ1MDcyZTUyNDhlNjNjZWVmMjU2YSxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Sagittarius:[If olive oil is made out of olives…](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F24854427&t=ZGQyZmEyMzc1MjBlMDM5NDhjYjFiNzA2ZjdiNDlmNDAzOThlMjk0OCxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Capricorn:[This is so gay](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F23388990&t=MTFiNzc3YWMwODA2ZDkwM2M2NWE1MTI0MzM2MjYyYzM4YjlmMDA3ZSxjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Aquarius:[Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? (me)](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F22651925&t=NmQyZGVhMzZjM2Y1MzUyMzkzMDg3OTI0Njk4NjNlNzRmNzQ0YWNkNixjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

**Pisces:[Well fuck me right in the feels why dontcha](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10085411%2Fchapters%2F23445822&t=ZTIzNWI4OTNhY2ZlNzJjOTA4Y2Y5NDhmOGJjMmQxZjExNzQyZTA0NixjRkttaGlueg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161987811129%2Fthe-signs-as-string-theory-chapter-titles&m=1)**

 

**Aesthetics**

Their aesthetics based on music videos (not just the songs, the whole video)

Sans - [Sloppy Seconds](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVCEsveSK5to&t=YTQ5M2Y1MzcyMzk3NWI3OTNlMzM1MmYwMDNjNzc0NmFhN2JkODk5MyxuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

Papyrus - [Hideaway](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DESXgJ9-H-2U&t=NGYwZjE4Nzc2Zjk1ODIwNGE4ZTE5YzhkMTFhYzdmMGZlMDJjOGVhYyxuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

Red - [Thinking Out Loud](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dlp-EO5I60KA&t=MTM2ZDZlM2NmMjM4MzVmZTI5MjUxZjhlZWYwNjY4ZDRmZTQ4MDUxZixuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1) 

Fell - [The Greatest](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGKSRyLdjsPA&t=YTg2NmU3MzIwYjc5MGY5NjY5YzRhNjc3OGZlYzA1ZTQ0MzE5MWE3ZSxuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

Blue - [LIKE I WOULD](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpTaqcGz2O5o&t=OTQyZGUyYjA3MDBlN2M4N2VkY2Y0MWExOWM3MmNhMWJlMDIwYmZhOSxuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

Stretch -  [Shatter Me](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D49tpIMDy9BE&t=ZTE5MjA3ZGM1NzQ0ZDNkOGM5NWU4Njk1NjkzNTQ3ZGY2ZTE0YmMwYyxuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

Razz - [Emperor’s New Clothes](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D7qFF2v8VsaA&t=ODdjNDZlMzMyYzhlNTgzNzdkYTMxNDczNmE2Nzg5NWJjZWI1YmJhOSxuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

Slim -[ I’ll Show You](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPfGaX8G0f2E&t=NGM2NWU3NDlmZWY3ZGFiYjU2YjkxOTFmN2U3YzY3YWFjNzlhM2RjZSxuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

Lust - [Side to Side](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSXiSVQZLje8&t=ZGM4ZDMxNWEyYjBmMDMzMzdmNmZiNGIyZDViNTk0MDAwNjQ3MGQ4MixuSzZyc0FzTA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162676025834%2Faesthetics&m=1)

**Fourth of July Short**

Sans hummed under his breath as he walked into the room, not really paying attention until he noticed Blue, standing there with a lighter and a firework and staring at him guiltily.  "Um…Hi? What are you doing?“ he asked, cocking a brow.

Blue slowly put the lighter in his pocket. "Fireworks? Safely? Definitely not in the house?" 

Sans gave him a funny look. "I thought you said you weren’t gonna do fireworks this year." 

Huffing, Blue threw his hands in the air. "Well, I lied, okay?" 

Sans frowned. "Well, what did July 4?" 

 

**Fun New Idea** (slightly nsfw)

(this was spawned during a conversation with Fresh so I stole a few ideas from them)

So I see Stretch as a way overly protective brother. Like the “what are your intentions with my brother?” kind of sibling. Everyone who dates Blue is just a little bit scared because they know exactly what’s gonna happen if they screw up or take advantage.

But not Razz, by God. 

Nope, he just absolutely fucks with Stretch every goddamn chance he gets. He has no fear.

 

“What are your intentions with my brother?”  
“To fuck him ‘till he cries. Maybe switch it up every few nights. You never know.”

The personalized ringtone he has for Blue is [this](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2Fvz2mfcOPdsc%3Ft%3D107&t=MmQxM2IxYmZiZDc0NWViN2E3ZGNmNGM2OTJiOTJlNmY0OWIxYWZiOSx2eFU4MTAycw%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F161532960394%2Ffun-new-idea&m=1) and he makes sure to always have his volume up around Stretch.

“I totally fucked your brother last night.”  
“Oh my god I don’t ca–”  
“Did you know he’s a screamer? He definitely is, I might have to soundproof the house cause damn.”   
“Will you please shut the fuck up?”

Starts every story with “hey, Blue, remember that time when we had sex on Stretch’s kitchen table? Well–” *spins off on a totally unrelated tangent*

I also kinda love Blue doing it too? Because they’re brothers and who doesn’t like to fuck with their siblings? And maybe he’s a little tired of Stretch being so overprotective?

*runs down the stairs, all starry-eyed in his lil boots and doing his very best to seem totally normal about everything* “Bye Papyrus! I need to go to the store to get some condoms!” “SANS I DONT WANT TO FUCKING KNOW” *pauses in the doorway* “Brother, was that a pun?” 

*buys him earplugs*   
“what are these for?”   
“oh, razz is coming over later”   
“SANS” 

I JUST LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CANT HELP IT

 

**Today’s “this idea is making me happy but I have no idea how to write it” post.**

So I’m imagining Rottenberry but you could do this with whoever.

So it’s their anniversary, right? And Blue gets home with flowers, its a very “Roses and Lace” situation, Razz is like “I’m in the bedroom!”

So Blue goes upstairs, busts into the room, “HAPPY ANNIVER–” and then he sees Razz and totally loses his train of thought.

(I know what you’re thinking, sinner. ONHONHONHONHON)

It’s not what you think.

Razz just starts dancing to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsb1Y_j10Hw).

Aight, now I’m gonna go do some more writing, see ya’ll later!

(If someone draws this I will adore you forever)

 

**Random Short**

Fell glared at his husband, doing every possible thing in his power not to crack a smile.  
Stretch looked up from where he was taping a Lego gun to the salt shaker, and grinned his widest grin. “Hey, hold out your hand.”  
Fell obeyed, despite every instinct telling him not to, and Stretch carefully placed the salt shaker in his hand before stepping back, staring at the display with an air of someone creating a modern art sculpture.  
“Well, I’ll be sure to visit you in jail.”  
God, Fell was going to regret asking.  
“Why will I be in jail?”  
Stretch gestured at the salt shaker, a look of utmost boredom on his face.   
“For assault with a deadly weapon.”  
It took Fell a moment, he was ashamed to say.

“…I want a divorce.”

 

**Hogwarts**

So instead of doing any actual writing or anything at all that’s actually useful, I decided to take the Pottermore quiz for each of those top five Sanses that I love so much. (Also, I’m a Hufflepuff. Just in case you were wondering. Hell yeah!)

Sans - Hufflepuff

Red - Slytherin

Blue - Gryffindor

Razz - Slytherin

Lust - Hufflepuff

Trying to decide if I should be surprised by the results…Should I write something with this?

 

**P!ATD vs Skeletons**

So Lin and I were talking and we came up with Panic! at the Disco songs for the main five pairs of skeletons plus the Dances woop woop!

Sans: [This is Gospel (Piano Version)](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DjO2_3pVd5k0&t=M2E1OTVhODcyZTNlYTAyZDcxNzQ3YjZjNjJhOTdjZGNmNWEyYWMzNSxkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Papyrus: [Victorious](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAUChk0lxF44&t=ZjYyODhmYTdkYThjZDVhMWUwYjNlNWI0YTUzZjgwNTAxMzVlOTNiZixkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Red: [Miss Jackson](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DLUc_jXBD9DU&t=NGIyNTU3Nzk4NzgzZmU2NDUyMzRkMDE0ZWZlZTc2ZmMzNTAzMTczYixkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Fell: [Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DH5NqIsnyTG8&t=ZDc4NjFhODNjZGY5MTVjNWIzNmIzMmFmMDFhZGUzMTc4MzU0MjY5OCxkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Blue: [LA Devotee](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dr5dNcKTcnPA&t=YjA1ZmNjZDhhMjg1NWNiZWEwMGUwZjg5NzdhZDdjYTkyYjQ5NzNlOSxkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Stretch: [Mercenary](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZPRVKNc97ws&t=MjU2OTBjZmU2ZGU2NjRkZGE3ZDczYmNlOWI3MzU0OTY1ZDI4MmY5YyxkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Razz: [Emperor’s New Clothes](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D7qFF2v8VsaA&t=NzI2MTgzNmEzOGI5OTNhMDNhODI1YTJlOTI1NzM3YmQ4NDg2YjgzZixkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Slim: [Death of a Bachelor](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DR03cqGg40GU&t=MGIwNTFjN2NlMjBjMTdkZjFiOGNjMWMzNWU5ZThkYjgzZTgyM2M1OCxkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Lust: [The Good The Bad and The Dirty](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DNu55xS1TdoU%26index%3D9&t=M2M5N2Q2NWE4MjQwMmQ5YmM3YjRmOWYzNzUxZTNkODRlNjc1MWNjYixkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Pink: [Girls/Girls/Boys](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYk8jV7r6VMk&t=ZDAwOWQwNmU2NGE0YWRiNGFkMDA5MTBkOGUyYWNhMGExNGFkMDExMCxkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Dance: [Time To Dance](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DJfUug-R7M5g&t=ZDkyNWJjMTI4NzFmYWFkMTE4ZmI0OTBiNTQ1YzFmNDE3NzFiZGNhYixkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Dance Paps:  [House of Memories](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DKuliCkN2oic&t=ZjgzNDNhYjVhMDQ0MWZhNDNmZGVkODhjZDFhZjA1MzIzYmJlZDg4NyxkcHZxeDBiVA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162484599049%2Fpatd-vs-skeletons&m=1)

Enjoy our trashiness bros. Also watch out P!ATD has some weird-ass music videos, if you didn’t already know.

 

**PROMPT IDEA: Razz gets drunk and mistakes Stretch for his brother**

Stretch’s eyes flew open, awakened suddenly by a blast of cold air that signaled that his blanket had been lifted away from his body. He turned over, intending to groan loudly and tell Blue “five more minutes”, but before he could open his mouth, there was a press of warmth against his side and he looked down to see a little skull pressed to his chest. 

He thought at first that it was his brother, but as the other shifted, he became aware of a cold surface against his shirt-covered ribs, and realized that it was Razz’s armor. He made a face, reaching down with the intention of pushing the other way. The pretentious little shit had gone to the bar with the other Sanses earlier that night, and Stretch didn’t fancy getting thrown up on. Not to mention it wasn’t exactly his biggest dream to have this asshole in his bed. 

“I’m so tired, Papy.”

Stretch paused, staring down at the other as his shoulders started to shake. What in the—

“I’m so tired of being this way. I-I just…I want them to…I want them to like me. Why don’t they…” he sniffed, and Stretch’s face went slack as he finally realized that Razz was  _crying_. 

“What the hell are you–”

“I guess I know why, but they like  _you_! We’re brothers, Papy, w-why can’t they just…”

Oh.

Oh, he thought he was… 

Guilt flashed across Stretch’s soul as he carefully sat up, dragging the other up with him and adjusting so that he was picking the other up. Razz automatically wrapped his arms and legs around him, clinging on like a koala and shoving his face into the cloth of Stretch’s hoodie. 

“You smell different, Papy…” Razz’s voice was smaller than Stretch had ever heard it before, still laced with tears, and he sighed. Then he stood, carrying the smaller skeleton out of the room and down the hall to the spare bedroom Slim had been staying in since they’d all ended up in this timeline. 

Stretch knocked softly on the door, and it was almost immediately opened, Slim shooting him a betrayed look, probably for interrupting whatever it was Slim normally did, before catching sight of his brother. 

He sighed quietly, holding out his arms and taking Razz from Stretch’s hold, carefully disentangling the fingers that were clutched around the back of his neck. He nodded his thanks as Razz shifted into his hold, starting to cry again for no apparent reason. 

Stretch watched them for a moment, unsure how to react, then looked up, meeting Slim’s eyes. He struggled for words for a moment, then closed his mouth solidly and turned away, walking down the hall back to his own room. 

It was quiet for a moment, then Razz sobbed out something unintelligible, and Slim sighed, closing the door as he responded. Stretch couldn’t be sure, since his voice was so quiet, and he closed the door halfway, but he could have sworn…

“M’lord, they don’t need to accept you for you to be magnificent.”

 

**If still take prompts, should write sweet fellcest :D <3, kisses, love u, bai**

“Sans, you know I don’t like surprises.”

“That’s a lie, and you’ll like this one anyway, so shut up.”

Sans was dragging papyrus out onto the dance floor, onlookers cheering as they watched the newlyweds clasp hands. Why it was so exciting to watch two idiots who didn’t really know how to dance make a fool out of themselves, Papyrus had no idea. 

He looked down as Sans cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting in place and the grip of his hands tightening as he seemed to be searching for words. 

“Boss…”

He was adorable when he was like this, eyelights shifting in nervousness, unsure how to impress the other but knowing he wanted to. Papyrus wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a sight he loved more. 

“If you make fun of me for this, I’ll kill ya.”

Papyrus smirked as the first strains of a [song](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dru8aDR5uAbM&t=Yjc2M2U3YTRmMDgzYTNmNGNiNzQyNWNjMGQ3NGRmZTNjNDYzYmMyMSx1ZTdVWDBmVg%3D%3D&b=t%3Aoe82OpAkxA9Azxek-E9jxg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcrushingonsans.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F163955838934%2Fif-still-take-prompts-should-write-sweet-fellcest&m=1) started to play. As much as Sans might not believe him when he said it, he truly was the luckiest person in the underground, wasn’t he?

“Understood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude I’m so mad i took all the Pottermore quizzes a year ago and i was a kindhearted, selfless Hufflepuff and now I’m retaking everything and apparently I’m a highly combative, loyal, petty, inflexible spitfire of a GRYFFINDOR and I’m in so much denial but I’m starting to realize it’s fuckin’ true…


	122. Ahoy Bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Ollie, Fresh, and I are doing this thing where we give each other prompts and then write for them and we all publish? The first prompt was from Ollie, and it was **"One character is a pirate, the other is a naval officer, the pirate captain has just captured the officer and is currently holding them hostage. What happened to the crew/ship and why the officer was kept in the first place is up to you."**
> 
> Ollie's chapter is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10560830/chapters/27163416)!  
> Fresh's chapter is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10652352/chapters/27263808)!
> 
> Warnings in end notes

A rough clang on the bars of his cell had Sans’ eyes snapping open, spinning around to face the newcomer. He could feel Papyrus shivering beside him, and his grip on his brother’s arm tightened as they were leered at. 

“Up and at ‘em, Captain wants to see ya.”

Sans held back a tremble of fear, lifting his chin and meeting the other’s gaze dead-on. “He’s sick,” he said, gesturing down at the sweating Papyrus. “I can’t leave him.” 

He could see, out of the corner of his eye, his brother’s eyes fluttering, as though he was attempting to join the conversation. He could barely move, however, the bilgewaters and moldy food they had been provided having brought a debilitating sickness within a few days of their capture. Papyrus had had a tendency to catch ill with concerning frequency as a child, but Sans didn’t think he’d ever been this bad. 

Sans couldn’t help but fear that he would soon be alone. His brother was dying, their crew was gone. The last glimpses Sans had gained of their shipmates, their  _ friends,  _ had been of them locked in battle with the crew of this ship. The attack had come so suddenly, near-silent in the dead of the night. How the lookout hadn’t seen the approaching brigantine, he would never know, but by the time he and Papyrus had spotted it from their positions atop the quarterdeck, it had been far too late to put up a proper fight. The Jolly Roger, grinning down at them from the invading ship, had been a beacon of their downfall. 

“That’s why the captain wants ya, King’s Rat.” 

Despite himself, Sans could feel his soul swell with hope, if only for a moment. He had caught only glances of a figure on the pirate’s ship, clothed in red and black and bellowing orders at those who surrounded him, and he had certainly  _ heard _ the reputation of The Vacinium. Or, rather, the captain that commanded it. Despite his soul telling him that perhaps they would let him and his brother go, it was unlikely that a bloodthirsty murderer would even consider such a plan. 

Papyrus’ fingers brushed at the cloth of his shirt as he stood, as though trying to pull him back down, stop him from going, but Sans stepped away. He spared his brother one last glance as the lackey unlocked the door, steeling himself with the desperation of their situation. 

He may have heard his own name, murmured almost too quietly to hear, but he wasn’t sure. He didn’t look back as he was manacled and led up the steps. 

Sans squinted as sunlight assaulted his sockets, stumbling over the uneven wooden planks before regaining his balance. He was being led towards the quarterdeck, where, as his eyes adjusted, he could see the form of the captain, gesturing up at someone in the rigging. As they approached, however, he caught sight of them, a wide grin spreading across his face. Nodding at a nearby sailor to take up his position, he hopped down from the deck, crossing to them before coming to a stop. 

He was a skeleton, just like Sans and his brother, but with scars lining his bones and and a large crack spanning the top of his head. A gold tooth glinted beneath lined red eyes, and as Sans was dragged closer, he laughed. 

“Hello,  _ officer _ .”

His tone was mocking, as though being a member of His Highness’s Royal Navy was anything but an honor. As much as Sans would privately agree, he kept his chin high. “I don’t--”

“He’s here at the captain's request,” Sans’ escort interjected, tugging on his manacles just enough to overbalance him. Sans was sent to his knees, trying not to swear aloud as his feet went out from under him. 

The other skeleton gave the sailor a harrowing look, then gestured for his chains to be passed into his hands. The escort acquiesced before fading back into the growing crowd of crew members, likely gathered here for some rare entertainment offered by their murderous leader. 

Sans’ chin was grabbed, and he was forced to look up into red eyelights. He barely had time to take in the self-satisfied smirk the other wore before he was being pulled back to his feet, the other’s mouth clanking to his roughly. 

The crew jeered as he yanked himself away, manacled hands raising to push at the other’s chest as he spluttered in humiliation. The captain just laughed, and Sans fought back tears, taking a swing at his head only to have his hands easily caught and secured at his waist. 

“What kind of captain do you call yourself?!” he spat, ignoring the laughter of the crew. 

The other snickered again, then spun Sans around, looping an arm around his waist as he pulled him back into his body. Sans attempted to headbutt him to no avail and the other chuckled again before saying, “No kind of captain at all, sweetheart.”

Sans fought for another moment, then slumped in the other’s hold, resigning himself to the humiliation. His legs were shaking, from exhaustion or fear, he had no idea, but he wasn’t about to go down nicely, at least. “What the hell is that supposed to--”

He was interrupted by the creak of a rope and the thump of boots on deck, and he swung around to see another member of the crew had landed on deck. Except…

“Captain,” his captor breathed, and Sans felt him nod respectfully along with the rest of the crew. 

The newcomer stepped closer, bright blue eyes flashing with mirth as he watched Sans’ struggles renew.  _ This _ was the captain?!  

A large smile spread across his face, one hand going to his hip as the other gestured over the ship and crew. “Welcome aboard!” he cried, a soft accent in his words. The crew laughed in response, and Sans flinched at the sound, closing his eyes tightly. He was going to die. He was going to die here, as entertainment to this crowd of unwashed perverts, and he was never going to see his brother again. Then Papyrus would die, and Sans could only hope he would be allowed to pass of his illness, because who know what these  _ pirates _ would do--

“Where are my manners?” 

The voice came from just in front of him, and his eyes snapped open to see the captain regarding him smugly. The other’s mouth opened just enough for Sans to be able to see his tongue running against the insides of his teeth, and he shuddered, keeping his eyes solidly locked to the other’s face. The captain snickered, gesturing for his captor, who Sans was beginning to realize was the first mate, to release him. The moment the arm left his waist, the captain had spun him to the side, facing the crowd. 

“Tell me,” he said, voice loud enough to ring out over the crew. “How is your own captain?”

Sans’ breath caught at the mention of his brother, and he did his best to ignore the jeers the question had incited. 

“Not well, as I’m sure you know,” he answered, too quiet for the crowd to hear. The captain smiled widely, then took his face by the chin, turning him back to face him. Sans noticed that his first mate had moved in behind him, standing solidly in Sans’ vision. 

“It is a good thing we only need one of you,” the Captain said, and Sans’ eyelights went black. 

“No--”

“But it does occur to me,” he interrupted, turning Sans’ head from side to side as though studying the quality of livestock. “You could be useful in more ways than one, especially if you were to have a  _ reason _ to be useful.” 

Sans’ soul dropped in his chest, eyelights glimmering back into existence as he stared in horror up at the captain. He could see the crew yelling in the background, probably enjoying the expression on his face, but he couldn’t hear a thing, tunnelled in on the Captain as he was. Then the cold, hard press of reality settled over him, and he felt tears burning behind his eyes, choking on something that might have been a sob as he forced himself to say, “What do you want me to do?”

The captain smirked, blue eyes flashing, and Sans caught sight of the cruel smile on his mate’s face. “Swear to me,” said the Captain, “on your brother’s life, that you will serve the Captain and First Mate of the The Vacinium without reservation.”

Sans swallowed, forcing the thought of his brother to the forefront of his mind. “I sw--”

The First Mate stepped forward, turning him by the shoulders so that he faced the crowd. “Louder, sweetheart. So they can all pay witness.”

Fighting tears, Sans raised his voice, eyes directed up to the sky. “I s-swear on m-my brother’s life, t-to serve w-without reservation.”

The hands on his shoulders tightening, and he closed his eyes. 

“Perfect. Captain?”

“Thank you, Red. Get the crew back to work while I take care of our guest. Feel free to join us when you have finished your duties.” Sans sucked in a sharp breath, eyes flying open as the other grabbed his upper arm, beginning to drag him across the deck. He stumbled, manacled arms flying out in front of him to catch the fall. The breath was driven out of him by a foot to his ribcage, and he bit back a sob as he was yanked back to his feet. Papyrus, papyrus,  _ papyrus _ \--

He was shoved through a doorway, landing hard on his side as he completely lost his balance. Red was shouting for the crew members to get busy, and Sans’ soul was swept with hope despite his own plight as he heard him call for medicine and blankets to be taken to the brig. 

The the door was shut and locked, and he felt his chest seize. 

There was a long moment of silence, then a quiet chuckle, the voice pitched higher than it had been only moments before. Confused, he pulled himself up to his knees, turning to see the Captain leaned back against the door to his quarters, grinning down at him with his eyes shaped into glimmering stars. 

“Well!” he chirped, his accent coming on stronger as he pushed himself up to stand straight. “That was certainly dramatic!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Definite rape undertones/vibes. The unspoken threat of rape. Trading freedom for a loved one's health and safety. General pirate assery. Nothing explicit. 
> 
> Okay so I may or may not have drawn inspiration for the ending from [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKSAKBEI4w0) in my favorite movie of all time. Except. ClassicCherryBerry.   
> I'm not going to lie I would love to continue this. We'll see, if enough of you are interested.


	123. T H E U L T I M A T E D R A B B L E S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED WITH THIS BULLSHIT WOOOOOOOO
> 
> For some unknown reason, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to write five drabbles for all of my more important/well-known stories (Since I’m a narcissistic bastard and all). This took me like three weeks and is most of the reason why I haven’t been publishing anything else. It was supposed to be a megalovania-type thing, but I didn’t really stick to the time limit (oh well, what a shame, right?) I still stuck the songs and their links in, since I was listening to the songs while I was writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stories included, in order, are: The Undying, Devoid, UnderAuthor, Gay As Hell, Perceptions, The Grass is Always Greener, Believe in Me, Roommate Bros, A Night Off and a Dress, Perseverance, Unimaginable, Discrete Trials, Pain Game, Taste of Silver Taste of Gold, and String Theory.  
>  **Expect spoilers** in all of them, including spoilers for parts of the story that haven’t been written yet. Most of the unfinished ones (especially the older ones) are unlikely to be updated other than this, though.  
>  **Feel free to ask questions** about any of these, including about spoilers. I will answer just about anything, depending on the story.

[ **The Undying** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8610283)

Undyne, Cherryberry, Sansby. Alcoholism, Death, Tyranny, Rebellion.

 

[ _ The Cure - Lady Gaga _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp8VZe5kqEM)

Blue started as he felt droplets of liquid landing on his shoulder. Normally he’d just attribute it to the blood running in rivulets down his arm and spine, but that didn’t make any sense here. Confused, he looked back, expression softening as he saw the tears dripping down Red’s face, the other clearly ignoring them the best he could as he worked to heal Blue’s injuries. Carefully, so as not to aggravate his wounds any more than they already had been, he turned, gathering the other into his arms. 

Red muffled his sobs into his uninjured shoulder, arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him in tightly. “I’m s-so  _ s-s-sorry _ ,” he whispered, and Blue squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Red, there’s nothing you can do. It’s a process, right?”

“You shouldn’t have to… to stay  _ here _ , to deal with those fucking--”

Blue shushed him quickly, looking carefully up and down the halls for bystanders before pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “I’m the strongest person you know, remember?” he said quietly, and Red let out a mirthless laugh. Blue tightened his hug, then forced himself to let go, the burning pain in his broken bones not allowing him to neglect them any longer. 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

[ _ Drunk Enough to Say that I Love You - PLVTINUM _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L01nwZl48Q)

“Sans, are you okay?”

He laughed, teeth gritted and fists clenched. He was shaking again, she noticed. “Yup. Just fuckin’ peachy, Sparks.”

Undyne sighed as she reached out, awkwardly smacking his arm. “I’ve told you not to call me that.”

“Then stop being so goddamn fiery.”

She gave him a look, and he let out a semi-hysterical laugh. She sighed again, and his face fell, hands relaxing for a moment before he buried his face in them, murmuring unintelligibly. Undyne watched him for a moment, then drew in a breath, glancing towards the door to the servant’s quarters. “I might be able to scrounge something up from Grillby, if you’d like me to try. 

He shook his head quickly. “Nah… I don’t want you gettin’ in trouble for my dumb ass again.”

She was quiet for a few minutes before she replied, “It’s not your fault.”

“...I know.”

 

[ _ Mi Gente - J. Balvin _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJgjKUK5_VA)

“C’mere,” Stretch drawled, gesturing for Undyne to come forward. Gritting her teeth, she obeyed, crossing the room to arrive at the rulers’ sides. Sans was still by the banquet table with Red, chin bowed and mouth unmoving.  _ Weak-ass son of a-- _

“Dance.”

Undyne turned back to Stretch and Fell, narrowing her eyes. “Excuse me?”

Stretch merely grinned, twirling one finger in the air. “Dance, sweetheart. I’m sure you’ve heard of it? No? Hm..Blue?” Blue stepped forward from his place at Fell’s side, holding out his arms for his chains to be removed. He seemed to already know what his brother was going to ask of him, but Stretch asked anyway. 

“Show our guest how we expect our entertainment.”

 

[ _ Walls Could Talk - Halsey _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBV3YFf76ow)

Sans stood grimly beside her, bone twirling in his hands as they stared down his alternates. Red stood just in front of Blue, growl on his face and settled down into an attack stance. Blue, behind him, stood with his shoulderblades pressed to the wall, eyes darting this way and that down the hall. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Undyne growled, fighting the urge to summon her spears and go straight after the asshole. 

“Nothin’,” said Red, voice casual despite their situation. “How about you find your own fuckin’ business, bitch?” 

“Red.” 

Blue’s voice was quiet, and Undyne furrowed a brow at the immediate effect it seemed to have on Red, his stance relaxing and his flaring magic settling. 

The only one more confused that her was, apparently, Sans.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

 

[ _ Talking to Myself - Linkin Park _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiCHPjrlUzk)

Undyne sucked in a deep breath, trying to force herself to calm down. Felldyne stayed just at her shoulder, however, her mocking tone slowly chipping away at what little self-control she still had. 

“You couldn’t even protect your best friend,” she snickered, steps light as she followed her alternate across the grounds. “You couldn’t even protect the one person you  _ loved _ . How much of a  _ failure _ \--”

“ _ Shut the fuck up! _ ”

Undyne squeezed her eyes shut, but it was too late to take back the insubordination. She could feel the other’s grin as a hand gripped her shoulder, nails digging into the skin and bringing her to an abrupt stop. 

“What the fuck did you just say?” Despite the words, Felldyne’s voice sounded like a kid’s on Christmas. God, Undyne  _ knew _ she’d been waiting for this, why had she been such an idiot?!

Well. 

Go big, or go home, right? And it wasn’t like she could ever go home. 

 

[ **Devoid** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8279707)

Kustard, Paperjam, minor Errorberry, possible Rottenberry? Death, loss of family, reset, separation from loved one. 

 

[ _ I’ll Come Back For You - Max Schneider _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhJxP6L9awY)

Error stared in shock down at the pile of dust. His soul was aching, pain shooting through him in waves, but his mind just...wasn’t quite…

Someone screamed, and a wave of magic shot past him and into their attacker. They yelped, attempting to gather their magic, but before he even really thought about it, his strings had appeared, wrapping tightly around them and yanking them backwards into the snow. 

He turned to Ink, who had rainbow tears streaming down his face, his magic gathered tightly around him as he stared down at the dust. 

Error took a deep breath. Then he reached out, laying a hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Ink--”

The other’s magic flared, knocking him back and away, and he let out a cry of surprise, looking up to see Ink’s face filled with rage and grief and something he had no idea how to identify. 

They stared at each other for a long moment, then Ink took a ragged breath in. 

“I never want to see you again.”

Then he was gone, and Error was left alone with the dust of one of the two people he had loved most in the world.

 

[ _ Heaven - Dalton Rapattoni _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh0FlqRN2i4)

The only thing Red could think about, in those final moments, were how lucky he was, to have Sans by his side until the very end. His life had been so...lackluster, filled with pain and regret, until he’d met the other. 

He counted himself lucky that he’d never have to live without him, and that Sans would never have to, either. Constantia would be fine, she would be happy. Their brothers would move on, find their happiness. 

And he and Sans would be together. 

He pulled the other closer, feeling him shift in his arms. As close as they were wrapped up in each other, it was going to be impossible to tell whose dust was whose. But that was for the best, really. 

It only seemed to fit.

 

[ _ Pray - Bebe Rexha _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfrPzaKgg40)

Red lifted his chin, head shaky as he stared up at the ceiling. Fell was...he was asleep? He thought he was probably asleep, but he wasn’t sure. It was quiet, at least, and he wasn’t downstairs. 

Despite himself, he wished his brother was here. He missed...something. It had to be his brother. He loved his brother. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of something bright. He turned his head aimlessly, and his gaze was drawn immediately to the sky outside the window. Or, at least...the ceiling. That felt so wrong, for some reason. Why...why did it feel so much like there was supposed to be a sky? He’d never seen the sky. 

Right?

 

[ _ Anti-Gravity - RUNAGROUND _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riFU02rtA24)

“No, please!” 

Error paused, glancing back at Sans’ tear-streaked face impassively. Sans searched his eyes for any sign of empathy, any sign of...of anything at all that he might have a chance.

“Please. I-I’ve lost...I’ve lost my life, I’ve lost m-my husband, and my…” he took a deep breath. “My d-daughter.”

The other looked away at that, his gaze dropping to the ground, and Sans latched onto the discomfort. “Do you know how that must feel? To lose your...your  _ child _ . And there’s n-no hope of ever seeing her again, and I can’t even--”

“Fine.” 

Sans’ eyes shot open wide in shock, staring at the other. “W-what?”

“I said, fine.” Error still wasn’t looking at him, staring down at the ground with his brow furrowed in thought. “I’ll take you to your… ‘Red’. We just have to make one stop first.”

 

[ _ Sloppy Seconds - Watsky _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCEsveSK5to)

It wasn’t as if Sans had really been through a lot of portals, but he knew this one felt  _ weird _ . It felt almost wrong, the crackling insides matching the crackling of the figure that was preceding him. Error looked back once, as if to check on him, then continued onward, emerging fro the portal and into an unfamiliar landscape. 

It reminded Sans of what he remembered of UnderFell. The air felt thick, the trees themselves seeming to be taking a menacing stance, but there was just something...off about it all. 

Blue emerged from the portal behind him, bouncing up to stand next to his...captor? Friend? Sans didn’t even pretend to understand it anymore. 

“Which one is this?” he asked cheerily, and Error opened his mouth to respond, but Sans cut him off. 

“Error, why are we--”

Then Sans looked to his left, and his mouth fell open, eyes going wide as he caught sight of an incredibly familiar coat. 

 

[ **UnderAuthor** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9419912)

Crush’s AU, not well explained but very well thought out (I just need to maybe…,.,.,,,,write it down) 

 

[ _ Cry - Carly Rae Jepsen _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgZfownHnMY)

“So you just...you see the possibilities?” Sans was looking at him earnestly, and Author sighed as he nodded. 

“Yes. I see what could have been, if a different decision had been made, if your physiology or your height was just slightly different. I see the scenes that play out, your levels, and if you’re the subject, I recieve your stream of consiousness.”

Blue hummed. “You must have seen us doing some strange things.”

“You would not  _ believe _ the amount of times I’ve seen the lot of you having--” Author cut himself off as Red snickered, and he glared at him. 

“Have I ever done anything really bad?” Blue asked, and Author shot him a look. 

“You would know if you’ve done anything bad. The episodes, the Notes...they aren’t things that have actually happened. They only could have. I’ve explained this.”

“Do bad things happen in them more often than here?” Stretch asked curiously, and Author didn’t hesitate to nod. 

“None of you would believe the things you would have been capable of, had things been different.”

 

[ _ Better Days - Hedley _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIycUnlJFpE)

“A01...X? Is this even X?” Author was muttering under his breath, flipping through the Notes in search of a particular footnote. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, I  _ know _ I saw it in here--”

“Hello!”

Jumping in surprise, Author slammed the Notes shut. He spun around to see Blue standing behind him, head tilted to one side and regarding him in confusion. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Shit,” Author murmured, tucking the Notes under his arm and checking the other quickly before smiling, hoping it wasn’t too strained. His LV was 0, he reminded himself. It was nothing more than a possibility. 

“Thanks, Blue. I’m fine.”

 

[ _ Me Rehuso - Danny Ocean _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbKcHy9cav0)

“Who the hell are you?” 

Author grinned awkwardly, straightening out of his crouch awkwardly as he tucked the Notes into his bag. “Uh...hey. I’m… the Author?”

There was a Papyrus standing in front of him, all sharp edges and red eyelights, glaring dangerously down at the unexpected newcomer. God, Author couldn’t remember if he was Edge or Fell or Boss or just Papyrus in the main line. Why was Underfell so goddamn complicated?

“What are you doing in my house?”

Well, at least the main line seemed to avoid the more violent or insane versions of this one. It was difficult to ignore, at times, those notes he’d taken of the more creative paths. 

“I’m… canvassing.” 

He was looking at him like he was something to scrape off the bottom of his shoe...Author glanced down quickly. Thank fuck. He never could take a sharp-heeled Papyrus seriously. 

 

[ _ Happy Little Pill- Troye Sivan _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEWHF3E9YJQ)

Author came to all too suddenly, mind reeling from what he had seen, eyes opening quickly and soul freezing at the face that was inches from his own. With a scream, he threw his arms over his face, useless magic flaring in an attempt to protect himself that he really should instinctively know by now was an unnecessary gesture. It was just..difficult to remind himself that he wasn’t in danger, even if he wasn’t the one being hurt. 

Red had flinched back and away from him, holding out his hands in a sign of peace. “Whoa, there, Author. You okay?” He looked him up and down, glancing at that Notes laying across his lap. “You...uh...takin’ one of your episodes?” 

Author just stared at him for a moment before he realized his hands were cramped from writing, even now as they were held shakily at his sides. “I… yes. Yes, I was… writing. Where is Blue?” 

“Uh…” Red glanced towards the stairs before looking back, somewhat sheepish. “I have no clue. I think he’s with Boss and Stretch upstairs?” 

Forcing down the leftover spike of panic, he stood. Fuck, he knew all too well they weren’t the same. They’d never be the same, they didn’t even  _ talk _ the same. If Red had ever had the chance to be that version of himself, the chance was long since gone. He started for the stairs. 

“Where are you going?” Red asked cautiously, and Author paused. 

“To see Blue’s legs.” Red raised a brow, but Author cut him off before he could draw the wrong conclusions. “I need to make sure he still has them.”

 

[ _ Young and Menace - Fall Out Boy _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtVFTuIZFYU)

Author drew in a sharp breath, feeling his ribs expand too slowly, as though he were caught underwater. It was the same feeling that always accompanied the episodes, but he supposed it always felt… different. 

He looked around carefully, feeling as though he were drifting through a hypothetical ether, looking for the subject of today’s Notes. He didn’t think he’d ever seen this particular possibility before, but the layout of the room was reminding him quite a lot of B812-A. He’d mentioned that particular timeline to Sans once, and the majority of them had refused to call Razz anything but ‘Blossom Baby’ for about--

Well, speak of the devil. 

Author could just barely see Razz through the door of Blue’s closet, knees tucked to his chest and staring quietly at what seemed to be a poster on the wall inside. He was a little shorter than the Razz Author knew, the bones of his arms slighter finer and his eyelights a slightly different shade of purple. As soon as Author was aware of his existence, the stream of consciousness hit him, and he swallowed. 

He knew, as of now, in the main line, his quiet and unresponsive body was beginning to write lines of text in the Notes, documenting one of many possibilities, one of the many possible alterations to the main line. 

Mentally, he named it B812-B.

 

[ **Gay As Hell** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8541994)

ClassicLust, Cherryberry, Alphyne, Papcest. Gay Pride Parade, fluff, pining.

 

[ _ Spectrum - Boyinaband _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYoapICIfeE)

Papyrus couldn’t say he was surprised, when Undyne showed up on his doorstep. He’d never seen her cry before, but there were tears streaming down her face, some of them smeared as though she’d tried to deny they were there. 

Silently, he stepped aside, letting her into the house and closing the door behind her. Sans was on the couch, but he took one look at the crying captain and shot his brother a worried glance, then disappeared, presumably to his own room to let them talk it out. 

They were both silent for a moment as she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, obviously trying to hold back tears. 

“I take it she wasn’t accepting.”

She just nodded, a strained gasp making its way out from between her teeth. “I-I just thought...since I’m an adult, and I don’t live in her home, that  _ maybe _ she would…” She broke into a sob, for real this time, and Papyrus shoved down his fury to step forward, gathering his best friend into a tight hug. 

“Screw your mother.”

She laughed, and he hugged her harder. That was really all he  _ could _ do. So he’d do it the very best he could.

 

[ _ Come My Way - PLVTINUM _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4vSO3prHDw)

“Papyrus!”

Slim sighed, casting his eyes up to the ceiling before very slowly pushing himself up to stand, making his way upstairs. “Yes, m’lord?” 

“I am going out!” Razz announced, appearing at the top of the stairs, hands on his hips and mouth set in a determined grimace. If a stranger were to see him, they would be impressed with him comments, but, looking carefully, his stance was too stiff, his fingers were clenched too tightly into the cloth around the waist of the--

Slim came to a dead stop, staring up at his brother as if he’d grown three heads. 

“Uh...in that?”

Razz glared down at him, as though daring him to comment. Instead of his usual armor and shorts, he was clothed in a bright blue sundress, the color bright enough that Slim was pretty sure it had either been borrowed from or purchased by Blue. 

“Is there something wrong with what I’m wearing?” Razz challenged, fingers tightening further as he waited for a response. 

Slim snorted. “Uh… yes? You’re going out in a bright-ass color without your armor?”

Razz’s eyes narrowed, then he seemed to relax, the slightest light of insecurity entering his eyes. “You don’t… care that it’s a--”

“M’lord, you know better than anyone that you could wear a paper bag and be the most magnificent monster in Snowdin. But not  _ without your armor _ , I swear to Toriel, Sans…”

 

[ _ Lose My Number - James Blundt _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llvGsoi4xwQ)

“Truth or Dare?”

Sans groaned loudly as Blue giggled, kicking his feet in the air. Sans shot him a glare before turning his attention back to Red and saying, “I’m not fucking playing this game with you.”

“Watch your language, Sans!”

Red just grinned. “Truth or Dare, Sans? Truth or Dare? Dare? Truth? Truth? Da--”

“ _ Fine! _ ” Sans shouted, prompting another round of laughter from Blue. “ _ Truth _ !”

“Who do you like?”

Sans immediately turned bright blue, scoffing loudly and obviously as he rolled over and away from the two of them. “I’m  _ sorry _ , Red, are we in middle school? What kind of uncreative--”

“So you do like someone!!” Blue shouted, jumping to his feet with a shout of victory. “Who is it?!” 

 

[ _ Hotter Than Hell - Dua Lipa _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEOyePhElr4)

“Do you want to come to the Pride Parade?!”

Red jumped violently as Blue appeared in front of him, fully decked out in his BLUE BTCH shirt and fantastic shorts. He looked up at him blearily for a few moments, then sighed shortly, pushing himself up to sit. “I don’t have a cool costume like you, sweethe--”

“Here you go!” Blue shoved a rainbow flag into his arms. “You can wear it as a cape!!”

Red blinked down at the material, then looked up, opening his mouth to voice his confusion before, suddenly, he found himself assaulted with paint under his eyes, his husband getting right up into his face to apply what Red could only imagine were probably rainbows under his eyes. 

When he had finished, Red blinked up at him. Welp. Better just resign himself, then. 

“Do I look like a gorgeously gay motherfucker?”

“Red!”

 

[ _ Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato  _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rceV7YNJDZk)

Lust grinned at himself in the mirror, watching as Pink applied the last of the paint to his ribs. “Fuck, this looks  _ fantastic _ .” 

Pink grinned up at him. “Do you think  _ Sansy _ will like it?”

“Shut the fuck up. Paint me like a French girl or go away.”

“You know, that’s not actually what that’s reffering to.”

“Your face isn’t what it’s referring to.”

That earned him a glare and a heartfelt sigh of annoyance, and Lust grinned in victory before returning his attention to the mirror. With the stripes of color weaving between his bones, he looked like something out of a college mural, all thick bones and swirling lines. 

Welp. 

“Sansy” had damn well better appreciate it, huh?

 

[ **Perceptions** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9377471)

Gen/no ships, Frisk, Underfell brothers. Unidentified mental disability (Fell), hiding said disability for safety reasons because fuck Underfell, people are assholes

 

[ _ Arigato - Julie Bergan _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFXYxusZEhM)

Grillby watched them with a sneer as Red bristled, doing his best to resist throwing out an arm and shoving Fell behind him. He felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned to see Fell gesturing out sign language far too quickly for him to understand. “Whoa, whoa! I can’t understand--”

Fell huffed, repeating the signs more slowly this time. Red snorted. “I’m not saying that, Boss. I thought we were going for non-confrontational here.”

Shooting him a look, Fell turned to face Grillby, deliberately flipping him off before carefully stating, “Do you understand?”

Red burst out laughing at the flabbergasted look on Grillby’s face.

 

[ _ My Heart Goes Bum Bum Bum - Flatsound _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhVVZDgA4Os)

Red was surprised to see the other’s eyes soften as he looked at his little brother, the contrast from the first meeting with Stretch hitting him hard. Comic crossed the room and crouched next to Fell, looking at the book of mazes he was steadily working his way through. There was a moment of comfortable silence, then Red heard Comic say, “I really like your battle armor. It's the coolest.”

Fell looked up, his genuine smile practically lighting up the room. “Sans did. He is cool...I am…” he seemed to be searching for words. 

Comic grinned over at him. “The coolest?” He supplied helpfully, and Fell laughed quietly. 

Red had to turn his back to the scene before his brother could see the tears that were beginning to fill his eyes. 

 

[ _ All I Know - Matrix & Futurebound _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irlW_65xkFo) -Written by SansyFresh

“Fell, would you like to accompany me to my puzzles?”

Red watched carefully as this Papyrus (not Stretch, he had to remind himself) offered something that he figured his brother would jump at the chance to do. Instead, Fell seemingly hesitated, giving his alternate a careful look. 

“Like...like…” Fell huffed, clearly having trouble and more than a little aggravated with himself and his inability to say what he wanted. Red stood from the couch, prepared to deal with any kind of fit that could result, only for Fell to begin signing at a speed that Red had trouble comprehending.

“He wants to know if there are any mazes, bro.”

Sans’ voice piped up from the other side of the room, the confusion on Rus’ face clearing up as he began to explain one of his traps, an electricity maze apparently. Red sat back down, relaxing as Fell seemed to get excited, forgetting his temporary frustration in favor of seeing a real life maze that wasn’t in one of his books.

The two left hand in hand, Sans meandering his way over to the couch, flopping on the opposite end with a tired grin. Red studied him for a moment, his grin relaxing.

“Thanks. For everything.” There was a lot that went unsaid in his words, but thankfully Sans seemed to understand.

“It’s all good.” It was nice to have someone else who understood.

 

[ _ Safe in my Hands - Eli Lieb _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUm4LCyW-h0) -Written by SansyFresh

Frisk smiled, walking down the path to the small cottage the brothers lived in. The path was green, bordered by flowers of every bright color that made everything feel a little like a fantasy. Papy really had lightened the place up with his love of bright colors.

Scraping the wet earth from their boots before stepping up to the door, they knocked twice, their smile growing as a small, but loud, almost one sided conversation commenced before the door was thrown open. Frisk looked up into the sockets of an honestly scary looking skeleton monster, his eyelights red and flashing in glee.

The image was ruined by his pastel pink sweater and wide smile of unrestrained happiness.

“Frisk!”

They could almost feel their own soul clench at the pure contentment coming from their friend. They couldn’t believe they had ever wanted to kill this precious monster. Never again.

_ Hey Pap, mind letting me in? _

 

[ _ Waving Through a Window - Owl City _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MArrPEwW1gI)

“ _ Yes! _ ” 

Red jumped at the high-pitched exclamation from the other room, turning to peek in. Blue’s hands were flapping excitedly, bouncing in his seat as he hovered much too closely over Fell. Red watched, concerned for a moment about the sudden noise, but Fell just glared up at his small new friend in annoyance until he moved back enough to actually teach him the next stitch. Fell was crocheting. Hell must truly be frozen over. 

He turned back around, arms folding with a sigh as he regarded the other four in the kitchen. Frisk was perched on a counter next to Sans, and Papyrus stood at Stretch’s shoulder, who had been forcibly seated at the kitchen table. 

“So,” Red started. “About you being a bigot.”

 

[ **The Grass is Always Greener** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8944372)

Previous Fellcest, Cherryberry, Kedgeup, minor classic fontcest. Resets, Falling out of love, Finding happiness when you had none.

 

[ _ Friends - Justin Bieber _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e4f9f-j-5Y)

(note: underfell, night before the resets started)

Sans was dancing again. It wasn’t something flamboyant or crazy, just a small tap of a foot and sway of his shoulders as he stood at the sink. Papyrus fought down a smile as he watched the other; it wasn’t exactly common for the other to do the dishes, or any chores at all, really. He couldn’t help but wonder about the occasion. 

After watching his fill, he smiled, reaching across the counter to turn down the music blaring out of the speaker on the counter. Sans jumped, then froze; half-cleaned plate held in his hands as he looked back at his brother. Papyrus grinned, and Sans fought not to return it. A losing battle, as always. 

“Dishes, huh?”

Sans shrugged, setting the plate down in the water and drying his hands. “Yeah...I just...wanted to make you feel appreciated.” Papyrus could see the red glow of a blush growing across his face. “I dunno. Ya just seemed tired, and I mean… aren’t you supposed to… when you... love somebody? It’s stupid, but I--”

Papyrus stepped forward, pulling him into his arms and grinning as he pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “I love you too.”

 

[ _ If You’re Gonna Leave - PLVTINUM _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9I4gUVKCcQ)

“Does it ever get lonely?”

Red looked up, surprised to see Sans sitting at his side. He must have drifted off or something, not having noticed the other’s approach whatsoever. “What?”

Sans glanced over at him, and Red became aware of the sounds of Blue and Papyrus talking loudly in the kitchen. He resisted the urge to shake his head fondly. 

“The resets. Do they get lonely?” 

Raising a brow, Red suppressed a humorless smile. “Yeah. Here and there.”

Sans nodded. “Yeah… I’m… I’m glad I’m not the only one. I guess a lot of the others have had the same thing but I just… it isn’t the same. I can’t really talk to them.”

“But you can talk to me?”

“Well, duh,” said Sans, cheeks going blue as he fiddled with the hem of his jacket. “You’re my best friend.” 

_ What? _

Red just stared at him for a moment, fighting off surprise and denial. Sans was refusing to look at him, but after a moment, he glanced sideways, catching Red’s eyes. In response, Red grinned widely. “I’d be careful sayin’ that shit. I bite, y’know.”

Sans snorted. “Oh, believe me. I’m all too aware.”

 

[ _ What About Us - P!nk _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=987xHnVfRI4)

When Fell woke up, he was already alone in the bed. Holding back tears, he reached out, laying a hand where he knew his brother had been laying. Red had told him that he woke up before he did by several minutes, had told him he’d be out of the room before he even woke up, as though it would be some kind of comfort. The sheets were still warm. 

After a few seconds, he heard the front door close, and he turned his head, pressing his face into the pillow. Well. He remembered, as promised. He remembered the other world and the alternates and the… the things that Sa- Red had said. 

There was a large part of him that wished he didn’t have to remember. 

Carefully, he pushed himself up to sit, rubbing at his eyes. His chest hurt. How many times had Red done this? Left before he was awake, gone to be with this alternates, gone to be with that littler, happier, blue-clad version of himself that Fell had seen him looking at so gently? 

How had Fell reacted, when his brother had left, and hadn’t returned? When he had no memory of why? 

He decided he didn’t want to think about it.

 

[ _ Woke the Fuck Up (acoustic) - Jon Bellion _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SPsD_oXEXY)

“What are you doing here?”

Fell jumped, spinning around from his position hiding behind a bush and attempting an innocent look. He didn’t think he succeeded, because Sans just raised a brow, staring at him with confusion. Fell snorted, folding his arms and pulling himself up to his full height. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Red and Blue?” 

“No, they were--” Sans cut himself off aprubtly, and Fell’s socket twitched. Sans was quick to carry on. “That’s not the point! Are you stalking my brother?!”

“Of course not!” 

Sans raised his brow higher, obviously looking for an actual explanation.

“I was just… I am… I’m in the neighborhood to…” Well, fuck. He was floundering. “...rob you?”

“...Fell, we literally own all the same stuff--”

“Well, maybe I wanted two of everything, did you ever think of that?!”

 

[ _ God Must Be a Lonely Man - Ashworth _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKQoG_QZs3w)

“Does it ever bother you, that you’ll never be able to bond with Blue?” 

Red raised a brow, looking over to see his brother hovering in the doorway. He was wearing a suit, sleeves arranged crisply and pants carefully pressed. “Damn, Boss. Is there a special occasion I’m forgetting about?”

“I’m… uh… taking Sans out. To dinner.”

Eyes widening, Red grinned. He pushed himself to his feet, crossing the room to clap Fell on the back. “Is it what I think?” 

Despite himself, Fell grinned. “Yes. I think it’s been… well, three years is quite a long time to go without ever even asking. But--”

“The soul bond,” Red finished, eyes dropping to the floor in thought. It wasn’t as though they could just… undo theirs, allow themselves to bond with their chosen partners. Fell would forget everything about the past four years of progress they’d made. He’d forget Sans, he’d think that he and Red were still… Well, Red didn’t think he would be able to go through it all again, knowing how good things had gotten. 

“Boss, I think… I think you’ll always have a connection, even if you can’t really…”

“Yeah,” Fell said, fiddling with something in his pocket. Red had a suspicion about what it was, and suppressed a grin. 

“It’s been enough for Blue and I just to have one another, even if the world is starting over around us. I’m sure Sans will think the same way. It’s…” Red paused, shifting awkwardly. “It’s worth the smaller hardships, especially if it means you’ll get the chance to be happy.”

Fell just looked at him for a moment before he responded. 

“Thank you, brother.”

 

[ **Believe in Me** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9239672)

Cherryberry. Amnesia, Injury/Abuse (not the cherryberry), Getting kicked out, Friends to lovers, But then angst af.

 

[ _ I Like Me Better - Lauv _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7fzkqLozwA)

Red couldn’t help but watch Blue with a smile on his face. There was just something about the way the other moved, the way he danced and talked and laughed that made his soul warm up. He’d never felt anything like it before, and it was just so honestly  _ gay _ that he would have been disgusted with himself, if he wasn’t so happy. 

Blue spun around, eyelights blown out wide and his grin stretching across his face. Red smiled back, allowing his hand to be taken and yanked in the direction of the ferris wheel. 

He’d never really liked the fair, but there was just… something about experiencing things with Blue that made them just that much better.  _ Again with being gay, Red, you’re better than this! _

With a gasp of pure joy, Blue tugged Red into his side, slinging an arm around his waist and leaning over so that Red could easily hear him enthusing about the ride’s lights. 

There was no way he was better than this. 

 

[ _ Windows Down - Big Time Rush _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ezo_Hs7t13c)

“Hello, Fell!” Blue said, a giant grin across his face. 

Fell, who had been on his was down the stairs, slowed to a stop a couple steps from the bottom. He was regarding Blue warily, one brow raised carefully. “...What are you doing awake so early?”

Blue waved him off, ducking back into the kitchen to grab the breakfast he had spent the last half hour so carefully making. “Well, I know it’s… uh… well, it mostly falls on your shoulders, having another mouth to feed! And I just wanted to thank you! For everything you’ve done, with taking me in, and making sure that… well, that I didn’t have to give up your brother! I’m really grateful!” He held out the plate, his bright smile mismatched with the worried look in his eyelights. 

Fell raised a brow, then took the carefully constructed plate of food. “Thank you, Blue. But you do not have to make it up to me. You are not a burden.” He began making his way into the kitchen, then stopped, turning back to spare Blue one of his rare smiles. “As far as I am concerned, you are a member of our small family. And I will never fail to protect my family.”

Then Blue was left, standing alone in the middle of the living room with wide eyes. He… he  _ wasn’t _ going to cry. 

 

[ _ Perfect - Ed Sheeran _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UQzJfsT2eo)

Red smiled, hands settled on the sides of Blue’s hips as the others were wrapped around his neck. Blue was grinning up at him, eyelights in the shape of hearts, and Red resisted the urge to lean down and kiss him (again). He could feel the beat of the other’s soul where their chests were pressed so closely together, and he felt his own skip a beat. 

The music played softly over them, and while Red knew there was a crowd gathered around the two of them, watching them during their first dance, he couldn’t have cared less. All he wanted to see, all he wanted to take in? 

Well, it was right here in front of him. 

Blue was everything he ever could have wished for. He was everything right in the world, the  _ worlds _ , even. He was the reason Red wanted to  _ live _ , he was… well, he was his happiness. And how could he help that? Someone as bright as Blue, loving someone like Red? 

He would never be able to even imagine how he came to be so lucky.

 

[ _ Touch - Troye Sivan _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U05QfLENZA8)

Red slammed a fist to the door, the force of the contact shaking the wood. He was shaking, he realized as he lowered his hand. Whether it was from anger, fear, or some combination of both, he had no idea, but he still steeled himself as the handle was turned. 

Stretch stood before him in the doorway to his house, clothes crumpled and looking a little more than worse for wear. As soon as he caught sight of Red, his eyes hardened, but Red paid him no mind, pushing past him and marching into the house. 

“Where the fuck is Blue?”

“What the hell?!” Stretch said, turning around to find Red walking into the kitchen. He swore under his breath, then followed, continuing to glare. “The hell do you mean, ‘Where is Blue’? Isn’t he married to  _ you _ ?”

Red scoffed, and upon finding the kitchen empty, spun around to face Stretch. “He’s not in Fellverse! So where the hell else would he be but here?!”

There was a moment of silence, then Stretch growled under his breath. 

“ _ Did you let my brother get ki--hurt on your fucking watch?” _

 

[ _ Are You With Me - Lost Frequencies _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjHMDlAPMUw)

“Blue?”

He looked up with a start, eyes settling on the tired-looking figure of Red, hovering at the bottom of the stairs. Immediately, he felt guilty; even seeing the other’s face in the dim lighting from the kitchen made it obvious how tired he was. There was never a time he wasn’t worn-down, but it came on even more obviously whenever it was clear that Blue wasn’t…

Well. 

“Hi, Red,” he murmured, and the other’s face half-cleared. 

“What are you doing down here? It’s--” a glance to the clock, “Half past one in the morning.”

Blue’s eyes dropped, and he sighed as he pushed himself to his feet. “Just a nightmare. Do you want me to come back to bed?”

There was a pause, then Red shook his head. “Nah… I wasn’t sleepin’ anyway. Mind if I join you?” Blue shook his head, and retook his seat as Red crossed the room. His wrinkled tank top was settled awkwardly across his shoulders, as though he’d been rolling around in his sleep and managed to tangle himself in it. Blue resisted the urge to straighten the shirt for about a split second. 

As his fingers made contact with the fabric, Red seemed to snap to attention, watching him carefully as he smoothed the tank top down over his ribs, tugging on hems and straightening seams. The air seemed to thicken, and Blue could feel himself relaxing. As he finished, he allowed himself to settle forward, pressing his forehead to the other’s sternum and taking a deep breath. 

There was a moment’s hesitation, then arms wrapped around him, pulling his smaller frame in close and keeping their steady weight across his back. The silence was broken only by the ticking of the clock and the beat of Red’s soul, and Blue closed his eyes tightly. 

He couldn’t help but wonder, during times like these, if this comfort had been easier to accept when he’d still been himself. 

  
  


[ **Roommate Bros** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9397871)

Lasagnaise (Lust x Fell), Maroon (Red x Pink), minor Rottenberry. RP, Roommates, slow burn, demisexuality, alcoholism, mentions of emotional abuse and PTSD 

 

[ _ What Lovers Do - Maroon 5 _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NmGGGlHpxQ) \- Written by SansyFresh

It was terrifying. Fell took a deep breath, willing his panic (elation) down as he stood next to his brother, the setting sun’s light painting their bones gold. The sky was a variation of color, all pinks and oranges and a deep blue that faded into a deeper black. White specks of light dotted the silky black expanse, but his eyelights were focused on the great fiery sphere that hid itself beyond the far off mountain.

“Boss? You okay?”

Fell looked down to his brother, Red staring up at him with a concerned expression. He hadn’t noticed till then that tears had begun to pool in his sockets,a  few escaping to stream down his face. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, a rare smile overtaking his features.

“Never better, brother.” 

Red didn’t look convinced, but let it go, a grin growing on his own face. “Let’s get goin’ then, Pap. The others’ll be waitin’ for us.”

Fell let himself gaze at the setting sun a final time, trying to remind himself that this wouldn’t be the last he would see. Then, he turned to join his brother as they made their way to their alternate’s home.

Everything would be better now. He was sure of it.

 

[ _ Flame - Tinashe _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQCY4DvhvW8)

Lust grinned across the table, eyebrows waggling impressively. Fell was doing a truly amazing job in his attempt to ignore him, but honestly, they all knew it would never last. 

As loudly as he could manage, Lust pushed his chair back, standing quickly to cross the room and stand just behind Fell. The other completely disregarded his existence, continuing to prepare dinner. 

“Hey, edgelord.” 

No reaction. Not even a twitch. 

Lust cleared his throat. “Hey, your highness?” 

It was almost impressive, the amount of resolve it must be taking to pretend he wasn’t hilarious. He’d been making puns for almost an hour now and he  _ hadn’t _ been strangled yet. It was truly amazing. 

“What’ll happen if I make another pun, but like… right by your face?”

Finally, Fell turned, hands pausing in their preparations to regard his roommate with something akin to disgust. “You’ll be  _ royally _ fucked.”

 

[ _ Blow Your Mind - Dua Lipa _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nydxbGhgv8)

Grillby hummed quietly, wiping down the sticky surface of his bar. The cloth ran over a particularly bad spot, and he frowned, leaning closer to scrub at the spot. He looked up as the door creaked open, starting to say something about being closed (hadn’t he already locked the doors?) before he recognized the newcomer. 

“Grillby,” they said, red eyelights flashing. It was Lust’s friend… fuck, he couldn’t remember his name. One of the Papyruses, the type that was all sharp edges and no happy memories. 

“Hey,” he replied, still somewhat confused as to what he was doing here. “Can I help you? Is Lust--”

The other started forward, and the air that surrounded him grew so suddenly dark that Grillby took a step back, running solidly into the wall behind him.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ say his name like you care, you  _ fucking asshole _ .”

 

[ _ All My Love - Major Lazer _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5wlxT9ygtY)

Fell winced as he put his key in the door, the pounding music coming from the other side effectively grating in his head and making him wish that he lived with literally anyone else. Well, okay. He didn’t really mean that. But  _ fuck’s sake _ , Lust…

Finally succeeding in getting the door open, Fell pushed through and made his way into the living room, kicking off his shoes and turning around, only to come face-to-face with his probably intoxicated roommate. 

“Hi!” Lust yelled, and Fell flinched back. 

“Hello. Your breath is terrible.” Lust made an offended face, then grinned again. He was such a happy drunk. Fell would never understand it. “Would you mind terribly turning the music down?”

Lust stared at him for a moment, then tapped the side of his nose. Or… attempted to, seeing as he didn’t actually have a nose. After recovering from those particular mental acrobatics, he said, “What music?”

Fell sighed. “I will just do it myself, apparently.” 

As he made his way into the kitchen, he heard the other call after him, “Cut up the  _ beats _ while you’re in there!” followed by peals of laughter. 

Fell shook his head. It wasn’t entertaining, he told himself. 

It  _ wasn’t _ . 

 

[ _ Believe - Cher _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB2GQ28sE5s)

Lust grinned, hands on his hips and chest puffed out impressively. “Are you ready?”

Making an exaggerated face, Fell huffed out a sigh. “I  _ guess _ …” Then he smiled back, reaching out to scoop the other up into a hug. Lust sighed, tucking his face into Fell’s chest, and Fell’s smile grew wider as he made his way through the front doors. 

Immediately, Lust began to struggle, trying to get down to the ground as Fell refused to let him. “Are you seriously gonna carry me down the aisle?!”

Fell looked first to one side, then the other, regarding the boring insides of the courthouse impassively. “Well, there isn’t much of an aisle to be carried down, so I suppose not.”

Lust huffed. “I shoulda made you wear a dress.”

“The joke would be on you, dipshit. I would look hot as hell in a dress. Now shut up, and let’s go get married.”

“Whatever you say, dear.”

 

[ **A Night Off and a Dress** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10092563) **(** [ **Part 2** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10884117/chapters/24185796) **)**

ClassicLust, Maroon, Spicyhoney mention, Rottenberry mention. Part 2 is also considered canon despite the different author. Medieval AU, royalty/servant, betrothal. The names and the difference between a prince and princess are probably confusing, sorry about that.

 

[ _ Off the Record - Will Jay _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BXyHA5kWTk)

Lav grinned widely at his manservant, watching unabashedly as he straightened a stack of towels. The other hadn’t noticed him yet, and Lav had found himself preferring it that way more often than not these days. There was just something about watching the relaxed curve of the other’s shoulders, not yet tightened or defensive. He didn’t like to see the other bowing, or calling him ‘Your Majesty’. He didn’t entirely understand why, but there was just… something about him when he was thought he was alone, when he was wholly himself. 

Then Cerulean turned around, catching sight of the princess, and there was the flash of a smile before the tightened shoulders arrived. Sure enough, Cer bowed, crossing the room to stand before him. Lav carefully suppressed a sigh, then clasped his hands behind his back. “Do I have any more meetings on my schedule for the day?” 

“No, Your Majesty.”

Well. Lav knew of another way to see Cer as wholly himself. “Are you quite rested, sir?” 

Cer straightened at the piece of code, something almost hungry glinting in his eyes. “I am, indeed.”

“Excellent.”

[ _ If I’m Lucky - Jason Derulo _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxqaXYFMWYQ)

“Hey, Cer?” 

He looked to the side, smiling as he saw Carmine standing in the doorway. The smile faded, however, as the other fidgeted uncomfortably, something obviously on his mind. Quickly, Cer stood, gesturing him into their shared room in the servant’s quarters and closing the door behind him. “Are you okay?”

Carmine just stared at him for a moment, then his eyes dropped, and he collapsed down to sit on his bed, head in his hands. “I… uh… I may have fucked a member of the royal family.”

There was a pause. 

“Wow,” said Cer. “That’s… illegal. Yeah. Sheesh. How dare you.”

“Thanks. That’s real helpful, assho--”

“No, I mean it,” said Cer again. He shifted his stance, arms hovering for a moment before settling on his hips in what he hoped was a reprimanding manner. “You are just… not  _ allowed _ .”

Carmine stared up at his friend for about a full minute. 

“Well, at least we’ll get executed together, I guess.”

 

[ _ Eyes Closed (Stripped) - Halsey _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joN23n_e5hk)

Jade could see him; standing resolutely across the room. His back was to Jade, hands held crisply behind his back. Even that felt like a lie, a mockery of the nights he knew the other spent sprawled across a couch, important documents messily piled on the floor beside him. 

It felt like too many memories, then, flashing across his mind in an almost ironic fashion. Laughter, dancing on that stupid fucking hilltop at the border, so many promises that they’d  _ known _ would eventually be broken, but they just hadn’t been able to help making. Looking into his eyes, he’d promise an entire world not in his possession. 

But there he was. Standing stiffly, preserving his role. Doing his duty. 

As they all must, he supposed.

 

[ _Say You Won’t Let Go - James Arthur_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA) \- Written by ollie_oxen_free

The wood of the carriage shook as it traveled over the cobblestone, the steady clop of the horse’s hooves the only thing that filled the otherwise silent space. Lav chanced another glance up and over at Jade, watching the steady rise and fall of his shoulders with his breathing, slow and deep. He was trying to hold himself together. The furrowed gaze was fixed on the pipe in his hand- old, cracked, chips whittled into the wood that were far too sequential to have been accidental.

Lav reached over, placing his gloved hand gently on top of Jade’s wrist, watching as the other started a bit before he sighed, slipping the pipe into a pocket on the front of his shirt. “We’ll be there soon.”

Jade only nodded stiffly, gaze fixed dead ahead. The slight scrape of bone against bone joined the sound of horse’s hooves as Jade shifted his jaw. It was a few moments before he spoke. “It’s been awhile since I’ve visited the Swap kingdom.”

Lav watched the stiffness in his shoulders as Jade’s head raised, chin tilting up with all the confidence that was to be expected of the king of a place so prominent as the Fell kingdom. Lav felt a hard pang of sympathy in the space where his gut would be as he followed the other’s gaze to the wall in front of them. He rubbed his thumb over the bone under his hand lightly. “It’s okay. To miss him, I mean.”

Jade tensed up- which was honestly kinda funny considering how taut his entire figure was before- as he sucked in a breath, letting it out shakily as he closed his eyes. “I can’t afford to miss him. Not now. Not--”

He cut himself off, voice thick and jaw clenched tight. It was a few moments before he collected himself once again, hand coming over to rest atop Lav’s where it sat on his arm. Red eyes flicked down to meet his own, and they shared a brief look of understanding.

The carriage stopped. Jade took in a deep breath, reaching over to place his crown on his head, Lav adjusting his own appearance and collared dress before the servant opened the door. Lav allowed Jade to help him to the ground before he linked his arm with the other’s, beginning to ascend the steps to the castle.

Presenting the King and Queen of Fell. As it was meant to be.

 

[ _ Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFlZXlfda6Y)

Cer grinned as a familiar song started, hand tightening where it was twined with Lav’s. There was a deep hood covering the other’s face, but Cer could feel his nervousness in the grip of his hand and the minute shaking of his shoulders. They both knew what could happen if they were to be discovered, if anyone recognized the “deceased” princess. 

But there was to be a wedding, and at a wedding, there was to be dancing. Cer didn’t think he’d ever forget how Lav felt about the common-people’s dances. 

Annato was already in the circle, twirling and clapping with the best of them, and he shone his bright grin in Cer’s direction before holding out a hand. Lav’s hand tightened slightly, then he let go, grinning in response to Cer’s worried glance. “Go on! I’d love to see you dance!” he said, a happy glint shining through the nervous energy in his eyes. 

Grinning, Cer dipped down to plant a kiss on his cheek, startling the other into a smile before spinning off into the crowd. His hands were immediately seized by Annato’s, and he was twirled almost more quickly than he could move his feet. 

He heard Lav’s loud laughter, and he turned his head to find him in the crowd. The other had his chin raised, peering at him happily from under his hood, and Cer could see his feet tapping under the rim of the skirt he had insisted on wearing. He’d been in dresses all his life, he’d said. Why change now? 

Cer laughed in return, spinning away from Annato and sweeping Lav up by the waist. He snickered at the yelp of surprise, catching his hands as he lowered him to the ground and spinning him quickly. The song changed key, and they both let go, clapping once and spinning with the rest of the crowd before rejoining to dance together through the villagers. 

Lav’s eyes were filled with something wild and terrifyingly happy, and they met Cer’s many times as they danced through the people. Cer knew his own face was graced with a huge smile, and he wanted nothing more than to press a kiss to the other’s head, proclaim for all to see exactly how he felt in this moment. 

Then the song faded to a close, and the dancers slowed, then stopped. Lav was still smiling, chest heaving. And it was only then that Cer realized that the other’s hood had slipped off, settled around his shoulders and exposing the face of the kingdom’s princess for the entire village to see.

 

[ **Perseverance** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10955073)

Classiccherryberry, minor Spicyhoney and past sansby. Polyamory, skelepreg, check the warnings. 

 

[ _ I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - ZAYN _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F37r50VUTQ)

He couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t get himself to look up and make eye contact, instead staring down at the carpet and gripping the edge of the door so hard his hands hurt. 

“Lust, I--”

“Please don’t,” he whispered, and he saw Grillby’s feet move out of the corner of his eye. Lust stepped back, keeping his grip on the door. “Please,” he begged. 

Grillby stopped, and Lust could feel his eyes boring into him. “I don’t want to leave y--”

“You deserve to be happy!” 

Lust could feel tears gathering at the edge of his eyes, and he finally forced himself to look up. Grillby looked on the edge of tears himself, but Lust steeled himself, tightening his hold on the door impossibly further. “You deserve to have what… what I can never give you.”

Before Grillby could even respond, Lust closed the door in his face.

 

[ _ Verge - Owl City _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP95wwpOm9s)

“Do you guys want to go see a movie?”

Sans looked up at the excited voice right next to his ear, blinking blearily until Blue’s face came into focus. He could feel Red stirring beside him, turning to press his face into his pillow. 

Blue’s face fell as Sans groaned, then he grinned again as his arm came out of the blankets, reaching for where his phone was lying on the nightstand. 

“Blue, it’s five am. Why are you even awake?”

“I wasn’t tired!” came the answer, and Sans turned to regard him doubtfully. Red seemed to be waking up more, reaching up to rub at his eyelights. Blue grinned hopefully at them both, and Sans sighed tiredly. 

“I don’t think the movies is open yet, sweetheart.”

Blue rolled his eyes. “Well, obviously. I meant this afternoon! Since I have the day off today and I know you get off early! And we could go have breakfast for right now?” 

Damn it. He looked so fucking hopeful. 

Ignoring Red’s mumbled protests, Sans threw back the blanket, forcing himself to sit up. Blue’s eyelights brightened, and a huge smile bloomed across his face. It was contagious, even with how much Sans truly wanted to lay back down and go the fuck to sleep until a more reasonable hour. 

“Breakfast sounds great. I have to warn you, I might use pancakes as a pillow.” 

 

[ _ Guillotine - Jon Bellion _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDKWgJGqPhc)

Sans stood in front of the mirror, shirt tucked up under his chin and hands pressed to the soft ectoflesh spanning between his ribcage and pelvis. It was warm to the touch, pulsing softly with light and dark blue in color. It had more give than he might have expected, pressing in for an inch or two before encountering some invisible barrier. He’d wondered a bit about how it compared to a human’s stomach. 

The surface lay flat, but he knew that as the soulling grew and began to form its bones, it would distend some. He remembered Gaster walking around like he had a watermelon strapped to himself, while Papyrus was being grown, and he couldn’t honestly say he wasn’t looking forward to being too big to easily move. More excuses to nap, right? 

He sighed quietly, removing his hands from the ecto and just looking at himself in the mirror. He looked tired, the stains burned into the bone beneath his eyes attesting to exactly how much energy the kid was sapping from him. 

Ah, well. It’d be worth it.

 

[ _ Paralyzed - NF _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHhHUZsXTBk)

"Should we... I don't know, call someone?"

Red sighed, head ducking so that he could rub at his eye sockets. "Who, exactly, would we call?"

Blue was standing across the kitchen, leaning back against the counter with his arms folded. He'd had bright blue smeared under his eyes the whole morning, and Red hadn't been able to help noticing that his bandana was still missing. He'd be surprised if he ever saw the other wearing it again. 

"Some sort of therapist, maybe? We're just... we're not equipped f-for this, Re--" His voice broke, and he took a deep breath, crossing the kitchen to take a seat at the table. He slumped forward in his chair, head in his hands, and Red reached out to rub his back, offering what little comfort he could. 

“Red, what if he falls down? W-what would we… I-I  _ can’t-- _ ”

He broke down in sobs, and Red stood up so that he could gather the other up into his arms. Blue gripped him tightly, probably leaving a bright blue tear-stain on Red’s shirt, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“We’ll figure it out, Blue. We won’t lose him, too.”

 

[ _ Dusk Til Dawn - ZAYN _ ](https://youtu.be/g4wkOyOMe4Y)

“Right this way, please.”

Blue nodded his thanks, stepping past the waiter with Red right on his heels and Sans trailing slightly behind. Glancing back, he saw that Sans was searching ahead carefully, eyelights dilated even if his excitement was far more subdued than Red’s. 

Then Blue turned around, and he saw them.

Mr. Browning was sitting with his back to them, easily recognizable by his spined back and green scales. He was talking quietly with a small figure seated across from him, who perked up when they saw them, pointing them out to the social worker. 

The little skeleton was missing a few teeth in the front, and the oversized purple hat they wore nearly obscured their mismatched eyelights. Blue gave them a little wave, and they waved excitedly back, starting to get up before Mr. Browning stopped them, standing himself and gesturing for them to take a seat. 

Blue obeyed, feeling his fingers shake as he pulled out his chair, and Sans followed his lead. Red, however, took a knee next to the babybones, a wide smile on his face. 

“Well, you must be Sirius.” They nodded, and he held out his hand to shake. Blue realized, suddenly, that there were tears in Red’s eyes as he said, “We’re so excited to have you come live with us.”

 

[ **Unimaginable** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11507001)

**Non-Con Warning** Swapcest, Cherryberry, Kedgeup. CHECK THE WARNINGS. 

[ _ Drugs - Eden _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szIDM99kRNM)

Stretch’s eyes stuck to his brother as he walked past, chattering about something or another, sweat making his shirt cling too tightly to his ribcage. Blue wasn’t paying attention, now, stretching up on his toes to reach something in the kitchen cabinet, so Stretch felt next to no guilt for letting himself look like this.

There was a sliver of his pelvis showing under his shirt, and Stretch had to put in a concerted effort to stop his tongue from forming in his mouth.  _ Fuck’s sake, man, pull yourself together… _

Blue spun around, and his eyes jumped to his brother’s face as quickly as they had dropped. He smiled, nodded, agreed in all the right places. Yeah, sure, he could make dinner by himself tomorrow night. Where are you gonna be? Red’s? Oh, yeah, that’s fine, have fun, then. You gonna be home tonight? Yeah? That’s great! Hey, tell you what, I’ll make some drinks, we can kick back on the couch, watch some Napstaton. 

Blue’s excitement was worth every word, every smile, and as the other went into the living room, Stretch watched him go with anticipation of his own. 

He still had a few doses left. 

 

[ _ Quiet Uptown - Kelly Clarkson _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DK4QRnBiTPA)

Blue’s hands were shaking, and he couldn’t seem to get them to stop. He clenched his fists tightly at his sides, under the blankets. That worked for a few minutes, but then his whole body started to tremble. 

He drew his knees up to his chest, holding his breath and squeezing his eyes shut for about a split second before the popped back open, surveying the room. He had to know he was alone, he had to know that… that Stretch….

He rolled over, clenching his teeth and bringing his now-unclenched fingers up to his eyes. Rubbing carefully at the bone, he stifled a sob. He’d never felt so small, so  _ helpless _ . He-- he couldn’t even fall asleep. Who knows what could happen if he did? 

The house was absolutely silent, not even the ticking of the kitchen clock cutting through the tension in the air. Blue kept his eyes open wide, staring at the worn cloth of the couch in an effort to stay awake. 

God, this had to be a mistake. There had to be some explanation, Stretch would  _ never-- _ he was his brother, for Toriel’s sake, he wouldn’t--

Blue clenched his fists again. He didn’t like it when his fingers shook. 

 

[ _ Unsteady - X Ambassadors _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY)

Red’s chair hit the floor with a  _ crash _ at he shot to his feet, half-lunging forward to seize Blue by the wrists. Blue flinched, staring up at him with wide eyes, and Red immediately dropped his grip, though he couldn’t quite seem to make himself sit down. 

“He… he  _ what?! _ ”

Blue’s jaw was trembling, and Red tried to reign in some of his anger. Of course he wasn’t mad at Blue,  _ never _ at Blue, and  _ never  _ for something like… 

“Please don’t make me say it again,” Blue whispered, and Red felt his anger pool somewhere in the vicinity of his ribcage. “A-and he said...he said your n-name, Red, and i-if you  _ knew _ , I-I don’t e-ever want to s-see y-y-you--”

His voice caught up in a sob, and Red could do nothing but stare at him with wide eyes. How could he possibly think…

“Blue, you’re the most important person in my life, outside of my brother. Why would you think that I would ever--”

“I was s-supposed to b-be one of the m-most  _ important _ in m-my b-brother’s life, too!”

 

[ _ Bad at Love - Halsey _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdYFuCp3m9k)

“What the fuck are you two even talking about?” Sans asked, brow furrowed as he watched his friends, fidgeting like they were on the run with the law. “What did Fell do?” 

Blue’s hands were shaking, he noticed, and that fact absolutely floored him for a moment. When the hell was  _ Blue _ the one with the issues?

“Papyrus, h-he…” Blue cuts himself off, shaking his head vehemently. “Stretch, he... W-when I was… asleep? And I--” His voice cut out again, but it didn’t seem like it was on purpose this time. Red glanced over his shoulder at the door, then back at Sans, the look of honest fear on his face at odds with his normally stoic assholeishness. 

“Sans, you need to call off your wedding, or at least postpone it, you need to ask Fell--”

“ _ What?!” _

 

[ _ Dancing On My Own - Calum Scott _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY)

The dried tear stains under Red’s eyes cracked as he forced a smile, nodding in response to a doctor’s question. Yeah, he was fine. Or at least he’d  _ be _ fine.

He was holding Blue’s hand so hard that his own was aching, and he kept noticing his fingers shaking. Fuck, he didn’t  _ care _ . He’d stay here, he didn’t give a shit if he slept or ate or fuckin’ dusted, he wasn’t leaving Blue alone--

“Sans.”

Red jumped, turning to see his brother hovering in the doorway. Fell’s eyes were hazed with exhaustion, as though he’d been just sitting in the living room for as long as Red had been sitting in this hard chair, waiting for Blue to wake up. 

“Sans, take a break. Please.”

He started to shake his head, tightening his grip on Blue’s hand, but Fell stepped forward, taking a knee and settling his hand on Red’s shoulder. 

“Sleep for a few minutes. I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

He… he  _ couldn’t _ , he-- 

He glanced over at Blue. He’d… he’d be right here. He wouldn’t leave. He’d stay right by his side.

“You’ll tell me if he wakes up?”

“I promise.”

 

[ **Discrete Trials** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11711616)

Honeymustard, Platonic Razz/Blue/Fell. Character with autism, nonverbal character, past death of parents, Remarriage, Blue is a bratty-ass kid and he drags poor Fell into it.

 

[ _ Hallelujah - Pentatonix _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRP8d7hhpoQ)

Slim didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to speak, and he  _ especially _ didn’t want to sit in this cold room across from this cold lawyer.

“You are of age, Mr. Aster?”

He just nodded, feeling the dried tears under his eyes crack as his expression shifted by the smallest possible amount. They were  _ gone _ . 

“And I see here that you have an education, a steady job… I see no reason not to pursue guardianship, if you want it.”

Slim looked to the side, glancing at the child playing happily on the floor of the office. His eyelights were bright, completely unaware of the change that had come into their lives, what they had  _ lost _ …

“I want it,” Slim murmured, turning back to the lawyer. He took a deep breath. “I want my brother.”

 

[ _ Two Feet - Go F*ck Yourself _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7K0pZ9tGi4)

“ _ Excuse  _ me?” Fell’s voice was dangerously quiet, and Blue faltered for a split second before he set his jaw. He wasn’t afraid of  _ anybody _ . 

“I  _ said _ , your dad is a  _ loser _ ! He doesn’t deserve my dad, and he never has!” Blue could feel his hands shaking with anger, the events in the other room setting his whole body on edge. “It’s no wonder your other dad left you guys!” 

Before he could even react, there was a  _ crack _ as Fell’s fist connected with Blue’s face. He stumbled back, eyes wide with shock, as Fell followed him forward, brows furrowed in anger. “MY DAD IS THE MOST AMAZING PERSON ON EARTH AND YOUR STUPID ATTENTION ISSUES AREN'T GOING TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!" He took a deep breath, seeming to be attempting to calm himself down, and Blue pulled his hand away from his face to the sight of blue ichor staining the bone. Fell continued, hands going still even as his voice was laced with anger. “My dad and I started out on the Fell side of town, and he worked so hard after  _ Grillby _ left to get us a better life! He went to college and he worked and worked and he got to where he is, all so that he could provide for me and help people along the way! So you can shut up with your...your...stupid fucking wrong ideas, because we are both amazing!”

A hot wave of shame washed over Blue as he looked at his friend, someone who, despite his dislike of what had brought them together, he considered to be… almost a brother, of sorts. “Fell, I’m so--”

"No, shut up! You think just because you're a kid, just because you don’t know who your dad screwed to end up with something as awful as you, that you're entitled to all of his attention! Well, you're not! I'm a kid too, I only have one dad too, but I actually want him to be happy! I actually want to help! Maybe you should try  _ that _ if you want to get some attention!"

And with that, the other spun around, stomping from the room and slamming the door behind him. 

 

[ _ Shelter - Porter Robinson & Madeon _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQnC1UHBvWA)

“Sit down,” Red said calmly, holding the book behind his back and out of sight. 

Razz clenched his teeth, narrowing his eyes as his hands shook, reaching for Red, who leaned back and out of reach. “Sit down,” he repeated, and Razz screeched, swiping a closed fist at the side of Red’s pelvis. He had no reaction other than to move aside, placing the book on top of the bookshelf where it couldn’t be seen. 

“Razz,” he tried again, but he didn’t even look up, his screaming reaching a grating pitch as he continued to pummel the other with his small fists. Red’s expressionless face flickered for a moment in pain as the other caught him in one of the bruises from yesterday, and he lowered his hands, blocking the next shot. 

“First sitting, then book,” he affirmed, and Razz coughed as he ran out of breath, glaring down at the floor before crossing the room, approaching the closest wall of the room, only to be blocked by Red. 

“We do  _ not _ hit our heads. Use your words.”

Razz finally looked up, jaw shifting before settling into the exaggerated expression for anger that he had been taught. Then his hands moved, shooting off the word “book” several times in succession. 

“First sitting, then book.”

In the kitchen, Slim cringed at more loud screeching from his little brother. 

 

[ _ Ink - Coldplay _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKM15TaKLUI)

Fell watched doubtfully as Blue scaled the fence, pushing himself up and over the top before jumping down to land on the other side. 

“This is stupid, and we’re going to get caught.”

Blue turned back to make a face at the other, putting his hands on his hips. “I’ll have you know that the Magnificent Blue  _ never _ gets caught!” 

“...Sure. So what are we going to tell Slim when he catches us?” Fell asked, pulling himself up and over the fence and landing lightly beside his stepbrother. He glanced around the garden, taking in the semi-overgrown shrubbery and impeccable lawn furniture. Slim certainly had his priorities. 

“It’s Razz’s Sweet 16! I’m sure he’d be  _ fiiiiiiiiine _ ,” Blue said, grinning. 

Fell just stared at him for a moment in disbelief. “Razz is fucking 17 years old, you idiot.”

Blue just laughed, dropping into a crouch and humming under his breath before scampering forward across the lawn. Fell stood there frozen as he went, then stage-whispered, “Are you humming the Mission Impo--”

“ _ Shhhhhhh! _ ”

Carefully and quietly, Blue eased the unlocked back door open, stepping into the laundry room and holding the door open for Fell. He gestured for the other to follow him down the hallway, then dropped back into a crouch. Fell rolled his eyes before complying, walking like a normal monster instead of an idiot who watched too many James--

The light flicked on, and they both froze, staring at the worn couch in the corner, currently holding a grinning Slim and his slightly more disapproving brother. 

“So, boys,” Slim started, shifting in his seat as Razz crossed his arms, attempting to look disapproving. “I’m disappointed in you.”

Blue straightened up to stand, shamefaced, but Slim continued before either of them could apologize. 

“Razz’s birthday started an entire two minutes ago. You are  _ so _ late.”

 

[ _ Geronimo - Sheppard _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-SeaCZE2TM)

Blue sighed, shifting back on his heels as he looked around the aquarium. There was a yellow fish swimming lazily by in a nearby tank, and he found himself pausing to watch it as it swam by; momentarily transfixed. God, it’d been years since he’d been to this aquarium. But, really, there was no other place better for this. 

“Do you think he’s still planning to come?” Fell asked from beside him, voice quiet as he searched the area. Blue nodded. 

“I talked to Slim yesterday, and he gave me his number. He said he’d be--

The sound of familiar laughter had him looking up, meeting a pair of purple eyelights across the nearly vacant floor. He grinned widely at the sight of the other, crossing the room quickly with Fell right on his heels. “Razz!” he called, and the other waved happily. 

As they drew nearer, Blue couldn’t help his smile, and he made the sign for “hug”, waiting for the other’s nod before stepping forward and tugging the other into an excited hold. “How have you been?!” he asked as he stepped back, feeling Fell’s elbow settle on his shoulder as the other reached down to fix his boot. Why hadn’t he done that  _ before _ \--

“I’ve missed you two,” Razz signed, and Blue resisted the urge to shove Fell aside and hug their friend again. It’d been too long, with college and careers and all the other crap that had come between them, but… he knew they’d never forget. 

They all knew. 

 

[ **Pain Game** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11784774)

**Non-Con Warning** ,  **Torture/Gore Warning** Kustard, Classicberry, Rottenberry. Kidnapping, Torture, Fucked-up games. READ THE WARNINGS

 

[ _ Melanie Martinez - Carousel (TroyBoi & JN!CK Remix) _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAsEek7hwyE)

It was snowing. 

Razz took in the sight of the flakes with a straight face, chin propped in his hands and eyes blank. He shivered occasionally; the insulation in this cabin wasn’t the greatest. He wasn’t sure where it had come from, really. He just knew that this was where he was supposed to be. Blue had brought him here, after all. 

There was a small noise from behind him, and he looked over his shoulder to see Blue descending the stairs, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Razz felt the corners of his mouth twitch up at the sight of the other in his too-big shirt, the hem brushing at his mid-femur. 

“Razz, what are you doing down here?” 

Blue’s voice was filled with sleep, too tired to carry its usual authority. Razz found himself preferring it that way. He liked Blue’s voice much better when it was smaller than the one in his mind. 

“I wasn’t tired,” Razz replied, glancing back out the window. Blue frowned at that, crossing the room and boosting himself up onto the windowsill and effectively blocking his view of the falling snow. 

Leaning back against the glass, Blue propped up one leg and held out his arms; an obvious invitation. Well, command. Either way, Razz leaned forward to bury his face into the other’s shoulder, feeling the other’s fingers trailing down his spine in a soothing, repetitive motion. 

“What’s wrong, Razz?”

The caring tone of the other’s voice broke something inside of him. But he only closed his eyes. Blue wanted him to be strong. 

“I’m lonely.” 

Blue wanted him to be honest. 

“But I’m okay when I have you.”

Blue’s fingers tightened on his spine, on the brink of pain, and Razz suppressed a gasp. Blue wanted him… silent. Compliant. Unsmiling and immovable, unless he was asked to prove that Blue made him happy. Blue made him so happy. 

“Perhaps…” Blue said, and Razz went still as the  _ other _ tone of voice was back. “Perhaps we need something to keep us occupied.”

He would do anything for Blue. 

 

[ _ Fuck Boy - Apashe _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzsDkEbDJCE)

“I’ll kill you!” Red screamed, tugging desperately at his bonds, trying not to sob. 

Blue didn’t even flinch, raising his knife until it pressed up on the bottom of Sans’ chin. Sans was gripping onto the arms of his chair, shivering in his attempt to keep still.

Red watched him, choking back a cry as he watched beads of marrow rise to the surface of the bone. Sans’ face stayed impassive, but he could  _ see _ the pain in his eyelights, could feel it trickling past the barriers he had put around his soul. 

“Blue, you fucking let him go! Don’t-- d-don’t--” His voice broke as Sans let out a gasp of pain, eyes flickering to his partners. They were filled with desperation, and as much as Red wished otherwise, he knew what Sans was asking of him. 

But Sans  _ had  _ to know how impossible it was to--

Hanging his head, Red went still. He squeezed his eyes shut. 

He just… he couldn’t watch this.

 

[ _ Outro - NF _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvAhj9z1bVc)

His eyes wouldn’t quite focus, drifting across the dark walls of the room. He breathed in, ignoring the burst of pain from his ribs. 

Sans felt disgusting.

He could feel Red’s arms wrapped so tightly around him. The other was sound asleep; Sans could hear the slow beat of his soul, the rise and fall of his soft breath. Their legs were tangled together, and it almost hurt, how closely the other was holding him. 

How could Red even stand to--

His eyes closed, forehead pressing into the other’s chest. 

He could still feel the hands--

1… 2… 3… He counted Red’s soulbeats. Every number brought him further and further out of it. Every beat grounded him, relieved him, promised him that it was all worth it. It was  _ all _ worth it. 

He never wanted it. 

But he would never say no, if that was all it took to keep Red alive. 

 

[ _ Devil in Me - Halsey _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR9nNrkWgAQ)

Sans’ blank eyes shifted from the piles of dust up to meet Red’s, their shocked expressions nearly identical. After a moment, he fell to his knees, leaning forward to rifle through pockets, through too-bright clothes, until he found what he wanted. 

He stood so suddenly that Red gasped, eyes wide as he watched the other come closer. But Sans only circled him, kneeling at his back and unlocking the cuffs. They were both still for a moment. Absolutely, positively still. 

Then, all at once, Red burst out of his chair, swinging around it and falling to his knees to wrap Sans in a hug. He was crying, Sans realized. No… no, he was  _ sobbing _ . 

Sans patted his back, humming in a way that he hoped was comforting. Red’s hold only tightened, and Sans winced as his injuries were squeezed. Red didn’t seem to notice right away, but then he pulled away, gripping Sans’ shoulders with tear-filled eyes. 

“We’re  _ free _ .”

 

[ _ What U Want - PLVTINUM _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EyiTwVQObc)

“I’ll be right over, don’t let him hurt himself!” 

Papyrus started at the sound of the dial tone, realizing that Red had just hung up on him. He groaned quietly, tossing the phone aside, to lean forward, resisting the urge to pin his brother’s flailing arms to the floor. Sans was flailing wildly, staring around as though he couldn’t see a thing, chest heaving in panic. 

“Please! You promised!” He screamed, and Papyrus clenched his teeth against the waves of tears that were threatening to break out. 

“Sans, you’re home,” he said, his voice breaking. “You’re home with Papyrus.” 

Sans didn’t even react to his voice, continuing to scramble as though he wanted nothing but to get away. He was still sobbing, and Papyrus had no idea what to do, how to react, how to help, what he could--

“Paps, lemme through.”

Papyrus breathed out a sigh of relief, stepping aside to let Red past. Immediately, the other went to Sans’ side, capturing one of his flailing hands and pressing it to his own chest. 

“Sans, count them. Count them, 1… 2… 3… I’m still here, see? 4…”

Papyrus sank down to sit on the floor, tears gathering in his eyes as he watched the scene before him. 

He couldn’t help but wish for his brother back.

 

[ **Taste of Silver, Taste of Gold** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11609376)

Rottenberry, past Swapcest. Bonnie & Clyde, torture, murder, they love each other a lot but the world can go fuck itself, read the warnings

 

[ _Young Dumb & Broke - Khalid_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhK2NwPIdt4) \- Written by ollie_oxen_free

Sans stepped out of the car, squinting as the sun assaulted his eyes after so long behind the tinted, bulletproof glass of the vehicle. Then again, he had spent longer in a car ride before while not knowing where he was going. He’d get over it.    
Stretch was in prison again. The time had been negotiated down with bribery (and blackmail), but he was in prison nonetheless, and had insisted that Sans be brought to one of their many safe houses. He walked around the back of the car, going to grab his bag from the trunk, when one of the lackeys jogged up, opening the back and slinging the bag over their own shoulder.    
They winked at him. “Don’t worry, sweet stuff. I gotcher stuff for ya.” Sans gave a fake smile in thanks, reaching up- he had to step on his toes to grab the door, and he could hear the mocking whispers and sexual comments behind them- to slam the back with more gusto than necessary.   
The muscle walked up the front porch steps of the unassuming country house, letting the screen door slam shut behind them. Sans watched where they had left, standing with his hands in his pockets and wishing, not for the first time, that his husband would allow him to have a phone, if only to look busy. For now he just had to ignore the salacious stares, hands clenched into fists at his sides in anger.   
The car pulled away, and crunching footsteps came up behind him. He turned to meet another skeleton, leather jacket tied around his waist and orange tank top showing off scarred arms. Two gold fangs glinted on either side of his face. The newcomer grinned. “So you must be Stretch’s wife, hm?”   
Sans swallowed down anger, but couldn’t stop his words from coming out clipped. “I’m his husband, yes.”   
The taller laughed. “Feisty. The name’s Slim.”   
With introductions out of the way, Slim began walking around him and moving towards the house, gesturing with his hand for him to follow. Sans watched him for a few moments before he sighed, walking after him to the house. Before he reached the door, Slim grabbed the handle, pulling it open and bowing deeply.    
“Welcome to my humble abode, your highness.” He looked up with a shit-eating grin, and Sans felt his eye twitch at the sarcasm that was positively dripping from his voice. “I hope that everything remains to your liking.”   
Sans walked past him without a response, going to the room that had his bag thrown outside the door and picking it up to place beside the bed. He sat down on the edge of the mattress, feeling heavy to the point of not wanting to get back up.   
He had the feeling that nothing good would come from this.

 

[ _ Champagne & Sunshine - PLVTINUM _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-_OFwFoWDY)

There wasn’t much that Serif liked about Slim’s house. It was always messy, never private thanks to the grunts Stretch had hired to stand outside the place being ugly. Slim himself was rude and condescending, and his freakin’  _ brother _ was just…  Well, Aster could go screw himself, that’s what. 

But the  _ roof _ . 

It took some creativity, but he had managed to get up there one night a few weeks earlier. He was just so fucking  _ tired _ of never being alone, of stepping out of the shower to find Slim standing outside the bathroom door, of being followed outside and kept within the invented boundaries of this stupid “safe house”. So he’d done the reasonable thing, and climbed out the window. Then he’d climbed a drainpipe, shimmied sideways on the edge of the roof, climbed over the railing of the widow’s walk (why there wasn’t just a fucking trapdoor from the attic, he had no idea), brushed off his pants, and looked up. 

He’d been escaping up here to stare at the stars and be alone ever since. 

So when he heard the clearing of a throat behind him, he just about jumped out of skin he didn’t even have. Whipping around, he saw Aster, standing there grinning with his arms folded across his chest. Instead of worrying about how he’d gotten up there without making a sound, Serif just groaned, turning to look back up at the stars. 

“I suppose you’re here to tell me that I need to come down before I get myself hurt?”

There was a moment of silence, then he saw Aster’s fingers curl around the railing beside his own. “Nah,” the other said quietly, and Serif looked to the side to see the other staring up at the sky, eyelights dilated and a soft grin across his face. Aster seemed to sense the stare, and he shifted to meet it, grinning.  

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

 

[ _ Look What You Made Me Do - Nightcore _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_cNK0Nm1-0)

Razz hefted the bone in his hand, peering into the glass cases in front of him before looking over his shoulder. Blue grinned as he watched him, tilting his head to one side in confusion as Razz reached back to pick something up from the wreckage. 

Crossing the room and ignoring the whimpering of the tied-up store employee in the corner, Razz balanced the bone on the bround before propping one elbow on it, holding his hand out for Blue’s. He complied, of course, holding out his left hand for inspection. 

Taking the hand, Razz turned it this way and that, then looked up, winking as he slid the ring in his other hand onto his finger. “What do you think?”

Blue hummed, holding the ring up to the light before turning back, hooking his fingers under the lip of Razz’s chin. “Maybe you should marry me first, before you get a ring that looks like that.”

Razz just grinned. “Maybe I should.”

 

[ _ Autoerotique - Badman _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKzIBrci5B4)

Blue is gorgeous when he's covered in ashes, screams ringing out because of him, the blood of their enemies pooled around his feet. His eyes glimmer with bloodlust as they turn to meet Razz’s, and he grins as he shifts his feet, planting them solidly and raising the barrel of his gun up to his mouth like a candle before breathing out a stream of air over the smoke. 

Razz laughs, cocking out a hip and letting the summoned bone construct he holds fall back to rest on one shoulder. Blue snorts, turning back to face the doors of the shop. 

They can hear more sirens in the distance, but they're far off, and it would be easy to grab the prize and run, leaving behind the broken bodies of those who have already tried to stop them. 

But as Blue fixes himself in front of the door, Razz steps forward, looping his fingers under the hem of his leather jacket and tugging him close enough so that he can press his tongue into his mouth, swallowing the other’s groan and feeling his hand curl tightly into the cloth of his shirt. Then they broke apart, but never thought to step away. It would be easy, just to leave. 

But that would just be no fun at all.

 

[ _ Lost and Found - Embody _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GitsHgBDl4c)

The world was much more fun, now that it lay at their fingertips. A whole life of insecurity, of being the understudy in That Great Plan, and now they had it  _ all _ . 

Blue shifted in his sleep, spine brushing against Razz’s sternum as he sighed almost silently. Razz tightened his grip on the other, moving forward so that he could tuck the side of his face into the back of Blue’s neck. He smelled like that bitter combination of gunpowder and gasoline, but Razz could catch the sweet undercurrent of his magic running underneath it all. 

They might have it all at their feet, but the shitty motel-hopping, the laughter and moans kept semi-quiet so they wouldn’t be disturbed, the stolen cars and cash and credit cards, it was all building up into something Razz had no idea how to categorize. He’d never been a golden boy like he knew Blue had. He’d never had money or privilege or anything to leave behind to live a life like this. He’d certainly never lived under the illusion that anything could be more important than his own survival. 

But now? 

God, the only thing important enough to even live for was the person asleep in his arms, legs tangled with his and eyelids fluttering. 

Blue was the single most important thing in the universe. 

Razz never wanted to live without him. 

 

[ **String Theory** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10085411)

Kustard, Rottenberry, Spicyhoney, Platonic Papyrus/Slim. Arc 1- Friends with benefits, minor angst, too much smut, slow burn? Arc 2- Major Character Death, sickness/hospital, depression/suicidal thoughts, loneliness, pseudo-science invented just to cause even more pain.

 

[ _ All Time Low (Acoustic) - Jon Bellion _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZkDZFwzcSk)

“How many times do you think you’ve done that puzzle, now?”

Papyrus looked up to see Slim watching him carefully, chin propped in his hands and legs crossed under the table. He looked down at the puzzle that Slim was talking about, an old one of a bunch of lanterns that he was currently in the process of sorting for the third time. The pieces were worn on the edges from being fit together over and over again, and Papyrus felt a wry smile curving his mouth. 

“Probably about a thousand.”

Slim stood, crossing the room and plopping down on the floor across from him before beginning to help sort the pieces. There were a few moments of silence as they worked, the sounds of the shower running in the bathroom not letting them forget that they were never alone. 

“Are you okay?” Slim asked, finally, and Papyrus sighed, fingers pausing in their path. 

“I’m sure I will be.”

 

[ _ Lights Down Low - MAX _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-xVwxqjNyI)

Razz breathed in deeply, closing his eyes and grinning as he inhaled the scent of dinner. “Oh, these are going to be fantastic,” he murmured aloud, shooting a smirk at the empty air beside him. “I think they might need a bit more spice, though. Some heat never hurt any of  _ my _ cooking.”

He seasoned with a flourish, stirring carefully, then pulled the pan off the heat, spooning the meat into shells with care before stepping back, hands on his hips. “You know, I don’t really mind cooking for one. I can be my own critic, you know!” He laughed, then picked up the plate, making his way into the empty living room. “I wish they’d go out more! It’s nice to have some quiet time like this.”

When he sat, he kicked his bare feet up onto the cushions, letting one leg curl up comfortably to balance his plate as he stared into empty space for just a moment. Then he laughed again, shaking his head. “Well, if I’m going to eat, I’d better do it before it gets cold! The way my fucking tacos turn out--” He paused, then raised a brow. “ _ Flipping _ tacos. The way my  _ flipping  _ tacos turn out, they can’t be too good cold.” 

He stuffed a bite in his mouth before waving an imaginary fork through the air, speaking around his full mouth. “Fee?! Bay arent eben--” Then his eyes widened, and he scrambled off the couch, tripping out of nowhere before setting his plate aside and making a mad dash for the kitchen, followed by the sound of him spitting his mouthful into the sink. 

“Too much heat!” he yelled, and more laughter was heard. Razz’s voice sounded off, but it cut out before he continued. “Okay, so maybe heat hurts some of my cooking, but you--”

He appeared back in the living room, cutting himself off to look around in confusion. After a moment, he shrugged, going back to pick up his plate, eyeing the food on it in trepidation. 

In this one instance, food waste just might be preferable. 

 

[ _ The One - The Chainsmokers _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bA7nrdVEqE)

Sans stared at himself in the mirror, eyes wide with joy as he took in the sight. A breathless laugh escaped him, and he pulled his shirt down over his midsection, spinning around and yanking the bathroom door open before racing out and into the hallway. 

“Red!”

A garbled groan was his answer, the other’s head popping up over the couch cushions with only one eye half-opened. “Whazzit?”

Sans snickered, then repeated himself, drawing Red’s attention. Red smiled when he saw him, then dropped below his view again, mumbling something about “Five more minutes, sweetheart.”

Sans huffed, descending the stairs quickly and crossing the living room to stand in front of the couch. Red’s eye popped open again, and he shot him a tired grin before holding out his arms in a clear invitation. 

Instead of taking it, Sans took hold of the other’s wrists, holding his arms out of the way as he climbed onto the couch to straddle Red’s lap. Well,  _ that _ got his attention. Red’s grin took on a different edge, and he tried to sit up, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. “Well, all ya had to do was  _ say _ \--”

His words cut off in a choke as Sans used his grip on the other’s wrist to press Red’s hand into the soft flesh of his newly summoned stomach.

 

[ _ Please Don’t Go - Joel Adams _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2oxFIsENgM)

The baby was asleep, the dishes were washed, and Stretch was  _ exhausted _ . 

Sprawled across the bed haphazadly, he let out a loud groan that had Fell shooting him an annoyed look. “Can I help you?” 

Stretch rolled over, holding out his hands in the direction of his husband and making grabby hands, grinning widely. “Carry me, please?” 

“...Where?” 

“To bed.”

“Stretch, you’re already in bed,” Fell grumbled, pulling a tank top over his head before standing with his hands on nis hips. At the overly-surprised look on Stretch’s face, he just snorted, tossing his dirty clothes in the laundry basket. “Don’t pretend you’re going crazy. That happened long,  _ long _ ago.”

Stretch grinned. “The moment I met you, my darling.”

Fell gave him a look, to which Stretch just pulled back the sheets, climbing beneath them and snoring loudly. After heaving a truly Great and Terrible sigh, Fell climbed in next to him, ignoring the other throwing a hand across his face to lean over and press a kiss to his forehead. 

Stretch cracked open one eye, grinning happily. “Night, dear,” he said, in his best imitation of Fell’s voice. 

It was really to be expected, when Fell immediately pushed him out of bed. 

 

[ _ Breathe - Lauv _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwTULrIL94s)

It really surprised the skeletons; how much their beliefs differed. Different undergrounds believed in entirely different paths; entirely different ends and beginnings and reasons for life. Humans would call it religion, but there was no belief in a higher power; only in themselves, and their creation from dust, and their eventual end, returning to the ground from which they came. 

For no matter the universe, no matter the underground, there was no belief in an afterlife. 

You returned to the ground, and that was it. Your life was over, and you were dust. Your dust was spread over something you valued, but it was symbolic; a memory for those you had left behind. 

So even though Stretch held his brother’s dust, covering the blanket he himself had been wrapped in in so many photos from their childhood, it was only in memorial. Blue himself was not there, he was never going to be there, and Stretch was never going to see him again. There was no heaven, there was no hell, there was no deliberation about which Blue would have gone to; if such things existed. 

And that was it. He was  _ gone _ . 

No matter how much Razz claimed to be able to see him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you have any questions about any of the above, shoot me a question in the comments. I will also be posting this on [Tumblr](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/165945906664/the-ultimate-drabble-collection), so if you’d like to reblog it, visit my blog!  
> Many of these stories are discontinued indefinitely. If you are concerned about a story’s progress or would like to encourage my work on the story, I do [take commissions](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/tagged/crushingoncommissions) and have a [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/crushingonsans), and I am always open for questions!


	124. Wow We Are The Funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey so you know those fk u ollie chapters w/ all the bullshit? well now we have a chat with ollie and fresh and i so i uh  
> did that  
> but with an extra peep  
> its lit
> 
> also it's almost 14k words so hey enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of emojis involved so just try to ignore that i guess  
> Also  
> This is only the month of August? Because it was 14k words, I stopped at the end of August. If you guys want, I can try to do September at some point? Then other months maybe? We'll see this was really fuckin long

**Ollie:** hey!

is this like a mini chat thing

a three way

waiy

wait no

~~~

 **Ollie:** i just dont know how to have an icebreaker conversation with u

like the ones where it goes from like

just asking abt how ur doing

and then 2 seconds later someone is being insulted and trumps head is on a pike

like u kno those things?

anyways

 **Fresh:** ye lol

thats why i figured this would be easier

 **Ollie:** i mean i dont think that uve been bothering me and i enjoy talking to u so dont worry abt that

now we just gotta wait for crush to get her ass in the chat

 **Fresh:** ye lol

 **Ollie:** (quick, while shes not here, lets say nice things abt her behind her back)

 **Fresh:** (she's very pretty)

 **Ollie:** (indeed. also she's super nice and funny? i like talking to her)

 **Fresh:** (same completely)

 **Crush:** You two can shut the fuck up <333

 **Fresh:** lve u bae

 **Ollie:** he he

okay but y did i laugh like a little gremlin

 **Crush:** Alright so crush's ass is in chat

 **Fresh:** yay

 **Crush:** Bc you're a little gremlin?

 **Ollie:** fcku u

 **Crush:** Maybe later I don't think Fresh wants in on that

 **Fresh:** not especially

 **Ollie:** okay so im leaving now

bye fresh uve replaced crush on my list of friends

crush ur gone

~~~

 **Fresh:** naw lol no one _needs_ to read my shit

id rather they did cause they wanted to

 **Crush:** It's my life's blood I'll die without it

~~~

 **Crush:** I'd call it "oh my God finna git hyped about blue losing his shit"

~~~

 **Ollie:** im gonna slam my head on the fucking table

 **Fresh:** im sorry

 **Ollie:** get up from my shitty sofa

walk over

and jsut

 **Crush:** No that's a good thing fresh

 **Ollie: *** slam*

 **Crush:** That means they like it

~~~

 **Ollie:** also it pains me particularly bc i work at a grocery store and i was on stocking before i switched departments and they honestly treated us like shit

 **Crush:** Did u stock the gnome section

 **Fresh:** obviously not

 **Crush:** I still think that should be a thing

Just for the fan club

 **Fresh:** not in a regular store

 **Crush:** It could be

It should be

We need gnome sections

 **Fresh:** how often do you buy gnomes, crush

never, thats how

 **Crush:** gnever

 **Fresh:** fuck you

just

no

 **Crush:** gnah

 **Fresh:** im going to go make blue scream at people

 **Crush:** That sounds like it would be really gnice

 **Fresh:** you gnow whats gnot gnice? ur face, thats what

 **Crush:** My face is very gnice

You might say

It has gno imperfections

 **Fresh:** _snorts_

 **Ollie:** gno more

pls

and i did stock some gnomes today

 **Crush:** gnome more

 **Fresh:** gnever

 **Ollie:** halloween gnomes

they were skeletons

 **Fresh:**....its fucking august

 **Crush:** HELL YES??????

 **Ollie:** i laughed the whole time i was putting them up

 **Fresh:** ITS FUCKING AUGUST HOW DARE

 **Ollie:** yea its halloween

 **Crush:** It's almost Halloween fresh

 **Fresh:** fuck halloween

 **Crush:** Fuck you

~~~

* _Fresh puts a #relatable picture in chat for some reason I can’t remember*_

 **Crush:** Whoa where did you find a picture of me?? That's a little creepy dude did you find my social media or smth

 **Fresh:** you sent me selfies last night, bro

 **Crush:** I woukd

I would never

Internet safety first

Fuck selfies

I never take those

What's a selfie

 **Ollie:** crush

 **Crush:** Ollie

 **Ollie:** u send me selfies all the time

 **Crush:** I WOULD NEVER

 **Ollie:** ya ok

 **Crush:** INTERNET SAFETY

YOU HAVE NO IDRA WHAT I LOOK LIKE

IM ACTUALLY LIKE 50

Y'all finna git kidnapped

 **Ollie:** me too man

god i hope so

 **Crush:** Two kidnappers meet on the internet and agree to meet irl

It's the start of a whole new kind of friendship

 **Ollie:** is it really kidnapping

who is the spider and who is the web

we r both the web

but **_whos flying this plane_ **

**Crush:** It's not a kidnapping it's an elopement

~~~

 **Ollie:** crush u ate a bag of baby food?

what the shit

~~~

 **Crush:** What is happening

 **Fresh:** everything

 **Crush:** All at once?

 **Fresh:** yep

 **Crush:** Shit dude

~~~

 **Crush:** I hafta work

 **Fresh:** in two hours

 **Crush:** I hafta shower

 **Fresh:** 1 1/2 hours

 **Crush:** And drive 25 minutes to get here

How in the world do you take a shower in half an hour

Like including everything else

 **Fresh:** i dont take that long to get ready

 **Crush:** My hair is like two feet long that takes like 15 minutes just to brush

 **Fresh:** XD

 **Crush:** And like shaving is a thing

 **Fresh:** not every time you shower

 **Crush:** Also standing and having an existential crisis

Well true but still

~~~

 **Ollie:** nah im filthy

 **Crush:** We know

~~~

 **Crush:** My hair is about as straight as Fresh is

 **Fresh:** meaning very

~~~

 **Crush:** Achievement Unlocked:somehow knocked over every single bottle in the shower at the same damn time

~~~

* _Art of Sans with Sharpie eyebrows*_

 **Fresh:** fucker found stick on eyebrows

 **Crush:** I need some of those

 **Fresh:** not that thick

 **Crush:** Hell yeah that thicc

~~~

 **Ollie:** i live bitches hoo boi

okay so

fresh u dont have to but if u write the thing then i would honest to god love to read it

and then

crush i love that drawing of blue so much

okay now i die bitches goodnight

~~~

 **Fresh: *** boops you both*

 **Ollie:** y am i being boop

 **Crush:** no boops thats illegal

 **Fresh:** boop again

 **Crush:** ollie u should ask siri about 9-11 again because the police need to be called

~~~

 **Crush:** dude lit i wanna make a baby fort

~~~

 **Ollie:** HOLD ON I HAVE A PIC OF JOHN CENA ON HERE HOLD ON

 **Fresh:** fuc

no

wait

im sorry

pls

~~~

 **Crush:** we should probably not spam this chat while ollie is offline

 **Fresh:** prob not

 **Ollie:** "not spam it" and i come back to like 20+ messages, okay

~~~

 **Fresh:** lol

when ollie is more creative than both of us

~~~

 **Fresh:** sure thing bro

 **Ollie:** dont bro me

 **Fresh:** but bro

ur like

my bro

 **Ollie:** not when i am Concern abt my friend

no

no bros

 **Crush:** cmon bros lets not fight

 **Ollie:** fuk u crush

 **Fresh:** i love the preemptive fck u

 **Crush:** did you type that before i even sent anything

 **Ollie:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Crush:** wow okay i see how it is bro

~~~

 **Fresh:** when you discover that Coke is not as good as lesser name brands of cola

 **Crush:** def thought you were talkin cocaine for a sec

 **Fresh:**.......

..............

 **Crush:**..........................were you?

 **Fresh:** no

wtf, no

 **Ollie: *** white girl voice*  um, is this crystal meth vegan????

~~~

 **Crush:** dont fuck pepsi guys cmon that's unsanitary

 **Fresh:** food porn bro

 **Ollie:** i would fuck Mr. Pibb honestly

~~~

 **Fresh:** XDDDDD

im fucking ded

deceased

 **Ollie:** o no

 **Crush:** bai

 **Ollie:** the frend

def

 **Fresh:** rood

 **Crush:** o no ded???

 **Ollie:** crush

wat we do

 **Crush:** we do no thing

 **Fresh:** ive gon tobiscuit hevan

 **Crush:** run

no mo jail pls

 **Ollie:** i cant go bac too jale

 **Crush:** are you the queen of biscuits

~~~

 **Crush:** hey you love ollie my puns

 **Ollie:** i knew it

 **Crush:** they're so fresh

 **Ollie:** i fuckign

i knew

 **Crush:** im crushin it

 **Ollie:** the name puns

were coming

~

 **Crush:** im gonna crush the competition

sans ollie

 **Ollie:** im leaving

FUCK

OFF

 **Crush:** I WIN

 **Fresh:** is that ur new oc bro

Sans Ollie

 **Crush:** no that's my main ship

 **Fresh:** then it would be SansxOllie bro

 **Crush:** because you already took crushingonfresh so i have to use sansollie

 **Fresh:** XD

 **Crush:** OllieOnSans

that sounds like a thing that's a thing

~~~

 **Fresh:** you guys ever just...exist?

 **Ollie:** ugh, all the time

would not recommend

~~~

 **Crush:** fuck existence

ive been sick the whole day

 **Fresh: *** hugs*

 **Crush: *** hug*

 **Ollie:** sucks for u bitch

*punch*

 **Crush:** ollie cmere im gonna cough on you

or maybe throw up

no one knows

 **Ollie:** i'm already sick u fuck

whatcha gon do

bithc

 **Crush:** ill get u sick squared

 **Fresh:** sick cubed

 **Ollie:** sounds pretty

_sick_

**Crush:** how do i kick someone from a group chat

~~~

 **Crush:** how about eat like 12 dicks ollie

 **Fresh:** thas a lot

thas like...more than ten

 **Crush:** thats the point

 **Ollie:** i think ive eaten 12 dicks already tho

would not recommend

 **Fresh:** thas gross bro

 **Ollie:** p gross

 **Fresh:** i mean, u do u and all

 **Crush:** stop eating richard he didn't do anything to deserve this

 **Ollie:** but i got cheap weed from like 7 of them

vore

fck nixon

 **Crush:** u vored them and stole their weed????

lit bro

~~~

 **Fresh:** no crush

i dont accept your love

 **Crush:** too bad fresh ur gettin it anyway

~~~

 **Crush:** fresh is actually 53

oh shit sorry i didn't mean to say your age

 **Fresh:** according to that one test, yeah

 **Ollie:** crush ive always known u were like a teenager

~~~

 **Ollie:** i act like i'm a child all the time

its my kink

 **Crush:** its a reverse daddy kink

no wait thats still a daddy kink

~~~

 **Crush:** "who the fuck is hovering over ur shoulder while you eat your chicken?" "oh that's ollie"

~~~

 **Crush:** dick jokes are hard

 **Ollie:** i won't make a dick joke

not my style

 **Crush:** the fuck you mean not ur style ollie you lying bastard

~~~

 **Ollie:** o ya

not say anything

abt me

sucking

on

bones

~~~

 **Crush:** PATRONUSES CAN SUCK MY METAPHORICAL DICK

 **Fresh:** crush

i dont know how many times i must tell you

unless you're a really good liar

you dont have a dick

 **Crush:** as far as you know

 **Fresh:** ive seen pictures of you

 **Crush:** YOU HAVENT SEEN THOSE KINDS OF PICTURES

 **Fresh:** i dont want to either, thats disgusting

 **Crush:** or maybe, maybe

im just really confused about life?

and i dont actually know what a dick is

 **Fresh:**..........you write skeleton porn

 **Crush:** what kind of porn have i ever written that makes you think i know what a dick is

 **Fresh:** string theory

 **Crush:** for all you know red just had a really weird hot dog shoved down his pants

 **Fresh:** hlibjb

ljl;jb;jonl

 **Crush:** extra ketchup

 **Fresh:** what the f u c k

~~~

 **Ollie:**????

that was cute???

i was expecting like

a screamo

 **Crush:** what are you saying that screamo isn't cute

~~~

 **Crush:** fresh did you know that razz would definitely be the dom in rottenberry like blue could never dom razz

 **Fresh:** razz is a switch for me

 **Ollie:** honestly i can easily go either way

i mostly jsut argue with u bc i like arguing with u

 **Crush:** fuck i was trying to piss you off

~~~

 **Ollie:** wow here i am fucking driving to work and yall have a in depth convo abt the skeletons sex habits okay

~~~

 **Crush:** what if you paired sans and slim tho

 **Ollie:** nightmares

~~~

_*Talking about Edgelord Supreme*_

**Ollie:** like a "what the hell happened to both of you" "razz wanted to dom" "fuck you i fucking will once every bone in my body is no longer shattered"

~~~

 **Ollie:** i am 100% down to talk abt snack foods all the time u guys

turns me on

~~~

 **Ollie:** tuck u crusg im not doing that

fuck i suck at texting

~~~

 **Fresh:** ok

im def not dirty talking you in the chat

 **Crush:** awwww whyyyyy???

also where did that come from

 **Fresh:** go check general chat

* _Other discord chat, Fresh said Crush Sucks*_

 **Crush:** i swallow bitch

~~~

 **Fresh:** i have a migraine

but i had to take my other pain pills

so no migraine medicine for me

 **Crush:** just overdose thats what i do

 **Ollie:** drink benedryl straight from the bottle

glug glug

~~~

 **Ollie:** ya whenever i need to throw up i just drink some pepto

i keep that pink chalk shit right beside my bed

whisper sweet nothings into its ear late at night

 **Crush:** ollie why

~~~

 **Fresh:** i gag when i brush my fucking teeth

i gag when i cough

 **Crush:** she gags when she sees ollie's face

~~~

 **Ollie:** also i work at 5am again tomorrow and i got 3 hrs of sleep last night so im going the fuck to sleep

i'd like to think u can

i believe in u crusg

 **Crush:** wow thank you im taking that to heart go the fuck to bed

~~~

 **Ollie:** ooOOOO

shot

shit i mean

 **Crush:** Shot

 **Ollie:** is it on ao3

 **Fresh:** and im not going to let crush kill off everyone >:l

yeah

 **Ollie:** im tryinf okay

 **Crush:** That's bullshot

 **Ollie:** freeeeesh

crush is mocking me

 **Fresh:** bad crush

 **Ollie:** HA

 **Crush:** You're full of shot I'm not mocking anyone

 **Ollie:** ( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)

im bullied and it hurts my feelings

 **Crush:** HA

~~~

 **Crush:** Let's perseverance this bitch

Let's soul swap the baby

 **Fresh:** fucking no

 **Crush:** I think that's a perfectly reasonable amount of angst

 **Fresh:** >:l

 **Crush:** A nice balance yknow

 **Fresh:** >>>>>>:l

 **Crush:** Or

Even better

Someone goes into a coma

And they actually die

 **Fresh:** fucking no

no no no no

 **Crush:** I vote it being razz

And then I'll play the baby

 **Fresh:** goo goo ga ga

blapth

 **Crush:** Exactly the personification is on point maybe you should be the baby

Or drunk red that's like the same thing

 **Fresh:** we're not killing anyone off, im putting my foot down

 **Crush:** What about like

 **Fresh:** no

 **Crush:** Everyone but the baby

And razz and fell

Everyone else dies

 **Fresh:** how about

no

 **Crush:** Razz goes on an lv binge nine months pregnant

Slaughtering bitches with a watermelon in his ribcage

 **Fresh:** nope

 **Crush:** The baby comes out with like

10 lv

 **Fresh:** NO

 **Crush:** "whoa this is a lit baby"

"it totally just shanked my brother"

 **Fresh:** >.>

 **Crush:** I'm so down for this

 **Fresh:** im def not >.>

 **Ollie:** i leave to read the fic and i come back to this bullshit

"our baby just stabbed me" "thats my boy"

 **Fresh:** crush wants to angst the fuck out of everything TnT

XD

 **Ollie:** the kid just grows up to be one of those fucked up children and his uncle slim picks him up from kindergarten and "how was school today?" "teachers are flammable." "oooooookay im calling your dad not dealing with this demon child shit today"

~~~

* _Crush making puns*_

 **Ollie:** i go to church and come back to this _filth_

~~~

 **Fresh:** you ever think about a world

where the only difference

is that you don't exist

 **Ollie:** thank u for the existential crisis

 **Fresh:** ur welcome

thats the mood for this evening

~~~

 **Ollie:** jsut let me call myself stupid bitch stop tryna make me feel good abt myself

~

 **Crush:** Fresh is honestly like the biggest sweetheart

 **Fresh:** no

not really

stop, i know what ur typing

dont do it

~

 **Fresh:** you know who's pretty cool tho?

crush is pretty cool

and funny too

 **Crush:** No don't do this I'm not funny I'm just an asshole

~~~

 **Ollie:** "dildos flopping around in the sky" is my new relationship status

~~~

 **Ollie:** He'd been in the cage for years, a centerpiece on a table, hanging up in the kitchen. It was slightly rusted, and the chain that was holding him up creaked as he shifted, shaking his wings behind him a bit to stretch them out from their stiffness. Blue gave a little sigh, smoothing down the rough fabric of the pants he was wearing, lifting his gaze up to the open, high-arched windows. The sun began to shine through and he smiled slightly, gaze flicking down to stare hopefully at the door.

It creaked open right on cue and he stood, shifting forward and wrapping small hands around the bars, barely able to reach all the way around the metal. The door shut and he found himself bouncing up and down as the servant gave him a lopsided grin, walking towards where he was kept. A finger was placed gently through the bars and he laughed, letting go of the cage to give it a hug. A rumbling chuckle, slightly scratchy, filled his ears as he looked up, red eyes meeting his own. The servant shook his head, still grinning, free hand coming up to scratch lightly at the crack that ran up from one of his sockets.

Blue felt his wings flutter out behind him as the servant spoke. "G'morning to you too, kid."

Blue smiled, letting go of the finger and shuffling to the center of his cage, delicate silver chains clicking lightly against his feet. There wasn't much that was enjoyable about his imprisonment, but these daily visits somehow made it more bearable.

 **Crush:** PRETTY BLUEBIRD

 **Ollie:** microphillia

 **Crush:** Fuck

Ollie y

 **Ollie:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

~~~

 **Crush:** I have just discovered the existence of a hammock

 **Fresh:** and then crush was never heard from again....

~~~

 **Crush:** So ollie

How do you feel about a three-way with me and fresh

 **Fresh:** hey now

 **Crush:** (hey now)

(this is what dreeeaaams are made of)

No but actually like a writing threeway

Rp threeway

But minus the sex

 **Fresh:** not a sex threeway, jeeze

get ur mind out of the gutter

 **Crush:** I mean idk fresh that's always a possibility

 **Ollie:** uh

 **Fresh:** seeing as how ur still in Washington, no its not

 **Ollie:** well

now i feel awkward

 **Crush:** That'd be worth the plane ticket bro

Now there's some fanfiction we can all enjoy

~~~

 **Ollie:** fresh did u want angst

 **Fresh:** there can be angst

 **Crush:** They should all

Die

 **Fresh:** maybe not that much angst

~~~

 **_*_ ** _Ollie wasn’t responding*_

 **Fresh:** i think their phone is being a botch

 **Crush:** Yeah...

I should flood them with memes

This seems like a good time

~~~

 **Ollie:** though honestly the whole knee-length-stocking makes me think of razz in white tube socks and sandals

 **Crush:** fuck

 **Fresh:** pls

 **Crush:** fuck daisy dukes this boi gon wear his white tube socks with booty khakis

 **Fresh:** pls

 **Crush:** i mean he has to look professional sometimes

*Slim in the background* "yeah he's a professional something alright"

 **Fresh:** cut to angry squawking and small exclamations of "stop kicking me!" in the background

~~~

 **Crush:** those are some weird multicolored balls you're licking there ollie

~~~

 **Ollie:** "crush fresna dn ollie have a threw wasy dont like dont read"

 **Crush:** that was almost english

~~~

 **Fresh:** lol

just dumped icewater all over myself

having a wonderful day :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

 **Crush:** i was going to make a pun but that would be mean

 **Fresh:** i swear to dog

 **Crush:** y

 **Fresh:** if you were going to say anything about nice

or ice

or nice

i will

i will

ill sit here and cry

 **Crush:** ....i wasn't

nop

 **Fresh:** ill do it, ill sit here and just start bawling

 **Crush:** ...............

ice to meet you

 **Fresh:** fuck you

~~~

 **Crush:** i should do a face mask

be the beautiful

 **Fresh:** lol be all the beautiful bro

 **Crush:** hell yeah bro

 **Ollie:** live the beautiful, crush

become the beautiful

also FUCK MY JOB

~~~

 **Crush:** ive been watching a shitton of youtube

picking up an education

watching manny mua put lipstick all over his face

~~~

 **Fresh:** Alternate name for rp: Assholes Come in Threes

 **Crush:** i dont think we can have a threeway with our assholes fresh

 **Fresh:** fuk u

not what i meant

and u know it

>:l

 **Crush:** did i tho

did i rly

 **Fresh:** im gonna cry

ill do it

 **Crush:** ARE YO

ARE YO RLY

 **Fresh:** *cries*

 **Crush:** o no don cri

~~~

 **Crush:** I'm gonna become a serial killer

 **Ollie:** i mean i can #relate

~~~

 **Crush:** "how do I _feel_ about you?? What kind of question is that? I feel about you how I feel about stars and the ocean and baking. You're wonderful, and I'll never understand enough about you. How do I feel, what a question. I feel like taking a road trip with you, driving to nowhere in a pick-up truck, parking on a highway lookout or a far-off empty park. We'd spread that ugly red blanket you packed out in the back, and you'd fall asleep curled up next to me, and I won't say I wouldn't care, because you know you snore. But I'd put up with it. Because how I feel? I feel like it's worth it. Every moment, every fight, every stupid episode of every lame show you ever make me watch, it's all worth it. It always will be, and you know why? It's because how I feel about you? It doesn't compare to what I know, and what I do know is that I'm in love with you."

 **Fresh:** Woah

 **Ollie:** omfg that was beautful

 **Crush:** Thanks lol

 **Ollie:** beautiful

 **Crush:** Beautful

 **Ollie:** yea i fucking kno

i tried to fix it

bithc

~~~

 **Ollie:** bitch go take a shower

 **Crush:** Is hard

Is like

Twelve steps away man

That's so far

 **Ollie:** get ur fuckign

 **Fresh:** such far

 **Ollie:** take a dam shower

fresh no

dont side with crsuh on this she needs to bathe

 **Fresh:** she does lol

 **Ollie:** get in the damned shower

 **Crush:** Eeerrrrgrgghhhhhh

 **Fresh:** you needa go get stuff done so you can get pain meds so you can sleep

 **Crush:** Ugghhhhhh fuck sleep though I don't do that anyways

 **Fresh:** :(

 **Ollie:** at least get some meds

yeet yeet pop some pills motherfucker

 **Crush:** Fuck ye bro

Finna git lit

Leave me alone I'm dying

 **Ollie:** take some meds bitch

 **Fresh:** is why you need to get some meds

 **Ollie:** and take a shower too

get all good and clean

wash away ur sins

 **Crush:** Fcuk Ollie u might need to join me in that venture

Wait fuck what

No Crush what the shit was that sentence

 **Fresh:** XDDDDDDDDDDD

 **Crush:** Ollie ur a sjnner too I'm not telling you to shower with me preemptively fuck off

 **Ollie:** ;3

i mean

i totally would

 **Crush:** Pfft fuck off

 **Ollie:** _:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:_

bitch im tryna

 **Crush:** _:innocent::innocent::innocent:_ I can't I'm jus _t:pray::pray::pray::pray:_ I love Jesus _:raised_hands::raised_hands:_ praise the Lord hallelujah _:ok_hand::ok_hand:_ wait till marriage bitch

 **Ollie:** oh dont worry i wouldnt _:open_hands:  :open_hands: :open_hands:_ not before marriage _:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: :eggplant: :sweat_drops:_

 **Crush:** Fuck you're better at emojis than I am

 **Ollie:** i take pride in that being m only true skill

 **Crush:** Not like

Writing

Or anything

 **Ollie:** nope just eggplant emojis

my only skillset

~~~

 **Fresh:** ollie wants me to call them a dick

its doing me a great concern

 **Ollie:** what can i say, its my kink

 **Fresh:** _great concern_

 **Ollie:** lol

 **Fresh:** lol

 **Crush:** Ollie you're a

Rude person

Ha ya thought

 **Ollie:** oh for fucks sake

insult me dammit i deserve it

 **Fresh:** never :D

~~~

 **Crush:** Ollie I s2g don't even say it

 **Ollie:** say what

i wasnt

going

to say

anything

 **Crush:** Uh huh

 **Fresh:** say it, ollie

just "it"

 **Ollie:** oh

um

 **Crush:** Fucks sake

 **Ollie:** it

 **Fresh:** there we go

 **Crush:** Ollie u can't hide ur sins

U may be able to delete ur sins from the chat but the good Lord sees them branded across ur chest in sinner's font

 **Fresh:** "in sinner's font" is that comic sans or joker?

 **Crush:** Definitely comic sans

Or Arial because fuck that shady bitch

~~~

 **Ollie:** ya im single

 **Fresh:** fucking

 **Ollie:** single pringle

 **Fresh:** fucking

 **Ollie:** lookin to mingle

 **Crush:** I'm against mingling

Unless it's dna

In which case

Science me up daddy

**Fresh: fucking**

**_stahp_ **

**Crush:** I mean yeah, fucking is another word for it I guess but um I prefer to be professional at all times?

 **Ollie:** except not really because im emotionally unavaible and i have the intense fear that no one will ever love me ha ha

*dabs*

 **Fresh:** same

 **Crush:** Same

 **Ollie:** i'll science u up anytime daddy

 **Fresh:** >:L

 **Crush:** We can't both call each other daddy

 **Fresh:** stop

pls

im begging

 **Crush:** That's biologically impossible

 **Ollie:** call me bucko

turns me on

 **Crush:** *walks up to some random person at a bar* hey there bucko how are the grades coming?

~~~

 **Crush:** I've brought home all of the ladies I know what I'm talking about

Laid so many times

 **Fresh:** uhuh

 **Crush:** The best pickup lines

The ultimate player, that's me

 **Fresh:** uhuh

 **Crush:** Yup that's what u got into babe

 **Fresh:** ...

 **Crush:** _:kissing_heart:_

~~~

 **Fresh:** i was reading your stuff ollie and something someone started writing sorta for you and thought about writing something Razz-central

 **Ollie:** wait like u want to write something razz-centered

 **Fresh:** yeah

 **Ollie:** oh my god

hell yea

crush ive corrupted another one

~

 **Fresh:** oh and ive really wanted to write something with the Fell brothers being badass

 **Crush:** got da,m yes pllz

 **Ollie:** for the love of god hell yea

~~~

 **Crush:** i really wish i could get into papyruses enough to write the st backstory bc its really sweet for them

 **Ollie:** crussssssssssaab

*hhh

 **Fresh:** crusab

i like it

~~~

 **Fresh:** except you patton

ur a funny guy

 **Crush:** I love my dark strange son

PUMP THE BRAKES PRINCEY

 **Fresh:** u pump those brakes

 **Crush:** E EQUALS MC SCARED

 **Ollie:** im laughing holy shit

i love thomas sanders

hes just so good

 **Crush:** he's so wonderful

~~~

 **Ollie** (high) **:** yo my dude that loks great

loosn

loosk

l o o k s

~~~

 **Crush:** Okay I'm gonna drive home byyyeeeee

 **Ollie:** see ya

 **Fresh:** drive safe

 **Crush:** *crashes into everything* o no

 **Fresh:** o no

she ded

 **Ollie:** grand theft auot that shit hell yea

_*Like 10 minutes later*_

**Crush:** Well I ran over 12 people

 **Fresh:** fuc man

 **Ollie:** ten points for each

and uh

 **Crush:** Do I get extra points for style

 **Fresh:** you get a gold star

no extra points

 **Ollie:** depends how many barrel rolls u did

 **Crush:** Three

 **Fresh:** F-

 **Crush:** God damn it

 **Fresh:** you had to do 4 to pass

 **Crush:** Fuck

Give me like two minutes

 **Ollie:** crush u failed us

no its too late

 **Crush:** I'm sorry okay

 **Ollie:** test is over

 **Crush:** Fuck

~~~

 **Ollie:** crush shut the fck up

i hate you

 **Crush:** <33333

~~~

 **Ollie:** when she says she hates ur guts but u kno that later tonight ur gonna b in her's

~~~

 **Ollie:** that old lady crossing the street is bouta be crossing into the afterlife  
_:middle_finger::sunglasses::middle_finger:_  
**Fresh:** dont text and drive  
**Crush:** yeah ollie cmon thats against the law  
**Fresh:** you get an extra 5 points for not doing it  
**Ollie:** Talk to test baby  
Siri is basically my bee effect  
F**k  
**Fresh:** XDDDDDDDDDDD  
**Ollie:** Wait why the f**k is it centered  
Censored  
**Crush:** because swearing is a sin  
**Fresh:** siri doesnt like you  
**Ollie:** What the help is gong  
**Fresh:** im losing my shit  
**Crush:** this is great  
**Ollie:** **Fk this I'm just gunner drive f** k wall  
**Crush:** this is just an adventure in a bottle  
**Ollie:** okay so i hate both of you  
and i hate talk to text im never doing that again

~~~

 **Fresh:** Can you feeeeeel

the looooovvveee

toniiiiiiight

 **Ollie:** NO

his dad dies and he fucks his cousin

hows that for "lion king"

~~~

 **Crush:** you have work tomorrow dude

 **Ollie:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

yea work will b

_lit_

**Crush:** if you say lit

god damn it

go home

fuck u

 **Ollie:** HAHAH

 **Crush:** no

~~~

 **Ollie:** tag urself im void dick

~~~

 **Fresh:** fuckign gnats everywhere

they need to fuck off

 **Ollie:** gnats not very gnice

 **Fresh:** >:l

 **Ollie:** gnwahts gnwrong gnbro?

 **Fresh:** u can fuk off too

 **Ollie:** oh gno

~~~

 **Ollie:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

~~~

* _Fresh and Ollie talking about how Spiderman shouldn’t be a teenager while I’m driving home from work and can’t fkn defend it then move on but noooo we are not moving on*_

 **Crush:** OKAY FUCK YOU GUYS

SPIDER-MAN IS CANONICALLY 15

So they are actually doing it right for the first time

 **Fresh:** he is canonically a FUCKING ADULT

HE HAS A WIFE

WELL

HAD A WIFE

HE'S IN HIS FUCKING 30s

 **Crush:** He started being Spiderman when he was 15!!!!

Like!!!!

 **Fresh:** so?

why do a orgin story again and again i dont understand

 **Crush:** So they should portray it accurately????

Because it's an amazing origin story and this is the first time they actually did it right

Toby McGuire was a good Peter Parker and Andrew Garfield was a good Spiderman but Tom Holland is actually really great at both

 **Fresh:** i concede that

 **Crush:** So when you fuck up the first time, try try again

 **Fresh:** uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH

~~~

 **Ollie:** okay so crush, this message: "After I'm done eating I'm gonna call you two out"

i...

i read it as "after im done eating you two out i'll call"

 **Crush:** Oh man that's totally what I meant to type thank you for catching that

~~~  
**Fresh:** you guys wanna know something kinda funny?  
**Crush:** Nope I hate comedy

~~~

 **Crush:** TENGO UN FUCKING RP WHOS IN BITCHES

~~~

 **Crush:** BA BA BLACK SHEEP HAVE YOU ANY WOOL

 **Fresh:** u ok?

 **Crush:** NO SIR BY THE WAY WHAT THE HELL ARE MORALS

it’s a good song

and i am, as the kids say, "rockin"

 **Fresh:** oh

i am what you could call, "crunk" and or "lit"

 **Crush:** *socialite laughter* yes of course, "fam"

 **Fresh:** "socialite laughter" wtf crush XD

i snorted in rl

 **Crush:** yknow like that rich lady in the pearls who's laughing at you bc she knows shes better than you

 **Fresh:** yeah XDDD

 **Crush:** ehuhuhu yes sure hun

 **Fresh:** heheheheh yeah, whatever bitch :D

not you, the socialite XDDDDDDDD

 **Crush:** I SEE HOW IT IS

HOW DARE

 **Fresh:** hwo daer

 **Crush:** @ollieoxenfree FRESH IS BULLYING ME

 **Fresh:** false accusations

lies and slander

 **Crush:** *sues you for pain and anguish*

*gets sued back for defamation*

 **Fresh:** o fuc

 **Crush:** how could u

 **Fresh:** hwo daer

~~~

 **Crush:** hang on like now im gonna send you some porn so look out for that

~~~

***NSFW WARNING***

 **Fresh:** crush if you were invited to watch Red get fucked until he cried, you cannot say you wouldn't take that chance without thought

 **Crush:** im more of a "watch red fuck someone else" kinda girl

now Blue on the other hand

 **Fresh:** until he's crying from over-stimulation, shaking and trembling

 **Crush:** okay fuck you fresh get out of here with my kinks

***END OF NSFW***

~~~

 **Crush:** we cant be razz and blue but then also stretch

 **Fresh:** red is not there yet

 **Ollie:** oh

 **Fresh:** its called fair-rp

not really i made that up

 **Ollie:** okay sorry bout that im shoving ice cream in my face so

 **Crush:** well i mean we could but then it would end up like that pregnancy thing fresh do you remember that

 **Fresh:** uuuuugggghhhhhh

yes

 **Ollie:** yall just

 **Fresh:** we didnt plan well

 **Ollie:** do whatever

 **Crush:** i was playing red and lust in this one scene and then the two of them got left alone in the room and i almost had to have a conversation with myself

 **Ollie:** im crying that

holy shit

thats hilarious

 **Crush:** like fresh just takes both of her characters and goes off to make lasagna or whatever

and i just turn to myself

"so when're u due edgelord"

 **Fresh:** its not my fucking fault you make me play the papyruses

always

ever

 **Ollie:** i love papyruses

 **Crush:** I dont like the papyruses

 **Fresh:** same

to ollie, not crush

 **Ollie:** ya i figured lol

 **Crush:** i can't get into their fucking heads well enough to play them

my rp characters are me

 **Ollie:** yea its hard to fit in a skeletons head

v difficult

 **Crush:** like if you read rb? I am actually lust irl

 **Ollie:** too smal

 **Crush:** stfu ollie

no

~~~

 **Ollie:** kill me

 **Fresh:** no!

sleep well

 **Crush:** sure but like

later

gotta be well rested first

~~~

 **Crush:** [ https://beckyshecky.tumblr.com/post/164482381664/spoilers-for-string-theory-do-not-remove ](https://beckyshecky.tumblr.com/post/164482381664/spoilers-for-string-theory-do-not-remove)

**Fresh:** dud that so cool

 **Crush:** I cried lol

 **Fresh:** yeah, i can see why

i would literally die

 **Crush:** It's so sad, razz face he's just so heartbroken why did I do this to him

 **Fresh:** because? u r sadist?

 **Crush:**.......

Okay true

 **Fresh:** yeah thats what i thought

 **Ollie:** tfw u take a fucking nap bc ur damn exhausted and u wake up to see this

holy fuck

 **Fresh:** yeah

ur welcome?

 **Crush:** What?

 **Fresh:** i guess?

 **Crush:** Oh the comic?

 **Ollie:** becky is the best honestly

now im emotionally dead thanks guys

 **Crush:** Fucking right?? I love becky so much

Also ur welcome

~~~

 **Crush:** im gonna

esplode

 **Ollie:** o no

no esplode

 **Crush:** esplODEEEE

 **Ollie:** noooOOO

i put back 2gether

 **Crush:** rood

 **Ollie:** i have the gloo

i put back gether

 **Crush:** o no

i llergic gloo

 **Ollie:** lergic??

o no

i mistake

 **Crush:** o no

 **Ollie:** i ave the tep

to tep u gether

 **Crush:** i cri

hoo tep dis fam gether tho

 **Fresh:** duk tep?

 **Ollie:** no cri i try help

ys duk tep

 **Crush:** o no

so cri

 **Ollie:** and my IQ has officially plummeted

wonderful

im gonna go shower to wash away this shame talk to you guys in a few

 **Crush:** how far can u plummet from zero bitch

~~~

 **Crush:** So I'm crying

like actual tears

running down my face

fuck you ollie

and your talent

~~~

 **Crush:** okay i need to go walk the dark _[_ **** _I meant to say dog****]_ before it gets any darker ill be back soonish hopefully

 **Fresh:** poor dark

dont want it to get any darker

or anything

 **Crush:** leave me alone

 **Fresh:** that would be bad

 **Crush:** XDDDD

 **Fresh:** such terrible

many bad

if the dark got darker.......the universe itself would implode

time as we know it would begin to collapse into itself

toast would no longer be delicious

 **Crush:** I hate you leave me alone

 **Ollie: *** spongebob voice* this isnt just any darkness. this is. Advanced Darkness.

 **Fresh:** you are the guardian of the Dark, Crush

u cant let it get darker

pls

for us all

 **Crush:** oh my god fuck off

~~~

 **Crush:** Actually I'm chasing the dog with the golf cart

 **Fresh:** ....................................................................................

............................................................................................................................................

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................

ok

 **Crush:** I'm supposed to be

Well technically she's supposed to be chasing me but that's not quite what happened

 **Fresh:** lol

 **Crush:** The dog wanted to go back in

But it's not dark yet

And I'm having fun

....this golf cart is not a toy

 **Fresh:** its really not XD

 **Crush:**..............I'm gonna play with it

DUDE THEY HAVE A FIRE PIT

I JUST FOUND A FUCKING FIRE PIT

 **Fresh:** nice bro

 **Crush:** Oh my God there's like a playhouse

Like for children

I wonder if there's cool toys in there

 **Fresh:** XD

 **Crush:** The door is jammed

That's okay it kinda looks like the place spiders go to fuck

 **Fresh:** so a place i dont want to be?

 **Crush:** That's okay it kinda looks like the place spiders go to fuck

 **Fresh:** you dont say

 **Crush:** Yeah totes bro

 **Fresh:** nods

id avoid it then

 **Crush:** Lol I just realized I know the neighbors

 **Fresh:** nice lol

are they watching you being a dork in a golf cart?

 **Crush:** Their son is my friend and his dad is my mechanic and they can totally see me being a dork in a golf cart

 **Fresh:** thought so

 **Crush:** So I've put the golf cart back

For no reason at all

 **Fresh:** uhuh

 **Crush:** I just decided it was time to be

Mature

 **Fresh:** uhuh

 **Crush:** Yup

 **Fresh:** yep

 **Crush:** ANYWAYS

~

 **Ollie:** just tell me all the kinks just fucking go at it

 **Crush:** I PLAYED WITH A GOLF CART

 **Ollie:** yea i saw

 **Crush:** Overstimulation

~~~

 **Ollie:** pls dont pee on me

~~~

 **Crush:** Not that I know any of Ollie’s kinks

Well

I can guess some

 **Ollie:** crush shut the fuck up

actually i dare u to fucking guess

 **Crush:** Now there's a party game

Um okay

Lace

Voyerism

Roleplay

 **Ollie:** okay so fuck you

 **Fresh:** well that was easy

 **Ollie:** how in the fuck

~~~

 **Crush:** i can't even remember my own kinks

 **Fresh:** crying

overstim

 **Crush:** yes and yes

 **Fresh:** screaming

 **Crush:** well not like

 **Fresh:** lol

 **Crush:** "im being murdered" screaming

 **Fresh:** ye lol

 **Ollie:** wow roller coasters must be a fun time for u

lol

 **Crush:** o yea they turn me rite the fuck up bro

 **Ollie:** i wonder if anyones every fucked on a roller coaster before

 **Fresh:** i seriously doubt it

 **Ollie:** now thats a story for the grandkids lol

 **Crush:** i mean you could do road head

~~~

 **Crush:** Red: "When I die, I want Razz and Blue in my coffin with me"

Razz: "What the actual fuck"

Red: "Yep. That's how I'd like to be berried"

~~~

 **Crush:** ...so it's 4:20 am and I might still be awake on accident

 **Ollie:** go the fuck to sleep

 **Crush:** Never

 **Ollie:** crush for fucks sake

~~~

 **Crush:** bc

fine wahman fresh

u gots

2 go gets dat fine wahman

~~~

 **Ollie:** i read none of the above shit but

just here to say real quick that i fucking love floofyhoodies

 **Fresh:** same

 **Ollie:** alright thats  all goodbye

 **Crush:** but why

 **Ollie:** the ship name is cute

 **Crush:** okay i agree you've got me

~~~

 **Ollie:** accept my aggressive compliments u fucking bastard

~~~

 **Crush:** I keep drawing this asshole _[****Blue***]_ and I don't know why

 **Fresh:** because you love him

 **Ollie:** bc u have an unhealthy obsessiong

yea

waht fehesh said

fresf

fresh

it looks goog tho]

 **Crush:** Ollie are you okay?

~~~

 **Ollie:** im being bulliedo

they talskd abt it in high schol so much

who jnew it could happen to u asn an adult

fkae news

~~~

 **Fresh:** the page makes a loud beep when i get a message and i have headphones on

 **Ollie:** oh my god im sorry

 **Fresh:** its fine

 **Ollie:** i will quiet berp now

how do i trun my beepa down

 **Fresh:** you cant lol

 **Ollie:** whafd

 **Fresh:** its not to bad unless i get , say, 7 messages at once

 **Ollie:** thats so tudkfin stupidnwhat if i want to be stealthy

aw fuck man im sucha brich im just gonna fo bow

~~~

 **Ollie:** hush

i am going to type slower now so that i am understandable

when i am typing this slow nothing can stop me

 **Crush:** except speed racer

 **Fresh:** sonic

 **Ollie:** fuck

you are right

 **Crush:** any rabbit ever

 **Ollie:** alrigthfuck it

i try new things

try o make things easier on you gusy

and you treat me lisk this

~~~

 **Crush:** oh my god, actual line from this song im listening to now "free pussy, dude!" "and we don't even have to buy it pizza!" *high five noise*

WHAT THE FUCK I'm laughing so hard???

 **Ollie:** stretch and slim

~~~

* _Crush commissions shit for Ollie*_

 **Ollie:** _crush you need to stop this_

_youre sugc a piece of shit_

**Crush:** *laughing*

 **Ollie:** _i cant handle displays of affectionf just tell me to fuck myself and go_

 **Fresh:** no?

 **Crush:** i mean sure fuck urself but first totally look at that cool art

 **Fresh:** rood

 **Ollie:** >:c

_:middle_finger::middle_finger::middle_finger::middle_finger:_

**Crush:** ily ollie XDDDD

 **Ollie:** no fk u

~~~

 **Ollie:** iiiiiiiiim mistah heat blistah

im mistah sun

 **Fresh:**.......

ok then

~~~

 **Crush:** I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE A RED BULL PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY

 **Fresh:** XD o no

~~~

 **Crush:** i dont know any nerds that like red bull

 **Fresh:** i do

her name starts with C and ends with -rush

anyone you know?

 **Crush:** Cartabagrupidirush maybe ive heard of them

 **Fresh:** o man

no way :O

 **Crush:** ye man

 **Fresh:** thats so cool

 **Crush:** ikr

 **Fresh:** like

bro

so cool bro

 **Crush:** hell yeah bro

 **Fresh:** what does red bull even taste like

other than the obvious

 **Crush:** ENERGY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Fresh:** thats pretty hardcore bro

 **Crush:** i dont actually know how to describe it

its the sharp kind of fizzy, so like it bites as it goes down? and it's almost kind of sweet? and the aftertaste is kind of flat? idk man

 **Fresh:** i gotcha

 **Ollie:** ur acting like ur tasting fine wine

its fucking red bull

~~~

 **Fresh:** you guys know whats good?

 **Crush:** WHATS GOOD MILEY

 **Fresh:** im not telling you now

 **Crush:** but

but it was iconic

 **Fresh:** no

now you will never know

 **Ollie:** i would like to know whats god

im not even changing it

mock me

i want it, daddy

 _Fresh:_ see, i was going to tell you

 **Crush:** blocked

 **Fresh:** and then you went and did that

 **Ollie:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

~~~

 **Fresh:** white cheddar popcorn no longer exists

it is all gone

 **Crush:** WAIT WHAT

oh you mean like yours specifically?

 **Fresh:** yes lol

i wondered if that would get misconstrued

 **Crush:** you freaked me out lol

~~~

 **Crush:** Oh man I didn't even think about the kids who are reading string theory I should have been more careful

~~~

 **Ollie:** thats all i wanted from st, i wanted everyone to know blue is an asshole

bye guys st is over now, crush u can stop writing

~~~

 **Crush:** You are just...the master of character development?? The way you can craft traits and motivations in a way that unfolds for the reader as this compex bittersweet tapestry is awe-inspiring...I mean, you can actually make readers NOT MISS THE SMUT, and that has to win some kind of lifetime fanfic author achievement award. Giant heartfelt kudos.  <3

im on my way to read hyt but i stopped by my inbox on the way and now im gonna cry?

 **Fresh:** nice bro XD

thats honestly really sweet

 **Ollie:** my phone didnt scroll down at first so all i saw was crush: "super nice and genuine compliment (that is 100% true by the way, like holy shit, your writing is literally one of the best things ever)" fresh: "nice bro XD"

also what is in the inbox

 **Crush:** that compliment lol

 **Fresh:** crush got that as a comment

 **Ollie:** oh okay

i thought crush was talking abt u

and i was like

"hell yea fresh"

but i mean

 **Fresh:** lol my writings not that good XDDD

 **Ollie:** i guess thats tru for u too crush :/

 **Crush:** yes it is cmon

 **Ollie:** fresh eat my ass

 **Fresh:** naww

 **Ollie:** your writing is fantastic

 **Fresh:** not sanitary

 **Ollie:** depends on how well u wipe

 **Fres:** bleugh

 **Crush:** gross

 **Fresh:** thanks tho

 **Crush:** you're amazing Fresh

 **Fresh:** ehhhhhhh

not really, but thanks

 **Crush:** you really are though like holy shit

 **Ollie:** accept the fucking compliment

its true we both love u and ur writing is great

 **Fresh:** thanks lol

 **Crush:** *high fives*

 **Fresh:** that was my face bro

 **Crush:** Oops

 **Fresh:** rood

 **Ollie:** *gives a respectful handshake because im not a bitch like crush who enjoys pimp-slapping people*

~~~

 **Crush:** I have eight things on hiatus right now

fuck me?

 **Ollie:** crush its ur own damn fault

~~~

 **Fresh:** TnT

@CrushingOnSans ollie is being mean

 **Crush:** o no

ollie y

 **Ollie:** @CrushingOnSans fresh is bein a lil bitch

 **Fresh:** wow

ok

~~~

 **Crush:** i was looking through some stuff and i found this thing i used to do? where i would list everything I could think of that made me happy?

can we do a thing where we do that with a list of things that make us happy because it always makes me feel really good after and i'd honestly love to see your guys' but you wouldn't have to show them or anything

 **Fresh:** yeah, if you want to, that sounds pretty cool

 **Ollie:** well that seems really cool

 **Fresh:** yeah, i thought it was pretty cool

 **Crush:** so ollie did you want to make an account, then we'd be able to start in about 20 minutes?

 **Fresh:** were both there already lol

 **Ollie:** oh i did lol

 **Crush:** i dont see ollie on there

hang on

oh okay i just needed to refresh

 **Ollie:** yes i do exists thank u

 **Fresh:** r u sure?

 **Crush:** ur so welcome

 **Ollie:** k so shut up

i do not need an existential crisis thank u

 **Fresh:** ur welcome bro

 **Crush:** does anyone really exist

 **Ollie:** alright thats it

ollie outie

 **Crush:** <3

 **Fresh:** im going to add "knowing i exist" to my list

 **Ollie:** im just gonna write the word fuck a bunch of times

 **Crush:** im going to add "filling ollie with dread" to mine

 **Fresh:** pls no

 **Ollie:** yea alright

 **Fresh:** also for some reason i didnt see the callout posts you guys made until i checked my email

for the wholr writer appreciation

 **Crush:** oh lol

 **Fresh:** so yeah

<3

 **Crush:** <3

*is eating whipped cream with a spoon*

 **Fresh:** whatever helps bro

 **Crush:** this is gonna be a suckass night might as well make the best of it

WOO

 **Fresh:** *hugs*

 **Crush:** *hug*

 **Ollie:** *is late on the hug but im still here*

 **Fresh:** *drags ollie into hug*

 **Crush:** *probably falls over bc group hugs are harder than you think but totally fucking worth it*

 **Ollie:** we're just writing shit that makes us happy?

 **Fresh:** just listing whatever you want

 **Ollie:** shrek, shrek 2, shrek 3

 **Fresh:** if thats what makes you happy, go for it

 **Ollie:** stop being gay

 **Crush:** i actually listed a bunch of movies one of the times i did this so hell yeah

UN MOMENTO

* _After Finishing*_

 **Fresh:** so i can explain

 **Crush:** FUCK I ALMOST BEAT YOU OLLIE

I WAS SO CLOSE

 **Fresh:** lol

that was relaxing

 **Crush:** what are you explaining lol

 **Ollie:** HA HA HA

that was p fun

 **Crush:** you beat me by literally 30 words im so mad

 **Fresh:** the fact that i stopped around 230 XD

and yeah, ollie was winning basically the whole time

 **Crush:** I KNOW

 **Ollie:** i was legit just trying to stay ahead of you

 **Crush:** i was trying so hard to catch up

 **Ollie:** i like talking abt myself

my fingers just

nyoom

ya kno?

 **Crush:** i kept making spelling mistakes because i was trying so hard to catch up

 **Fresh:** makes sense

 **Crush:** why did you stop at 230 fresh?

 **Fresh:** multiple reasons

i have a hard time remembering things in, like, a speedy fashion? and getting to where i was i had mentioned pretty much everything i could think of without getting really stupid specific

 **Crush:** are we going to share these by the way?

 **Fresh:** i get stuck, because i cant think of anything else

 **Crush:** im okay if not but im okay sharing mine

 **Ollie:** i mean i could

 **Fresh:** i dont mind

 **Crush:** who's going first because you have to share it in 2000 character sections so we can't all just go at once

 **Fresh:** you

 **Ollie:** go crush

 **Crush:** aight

You guys for some godforsaken reason, this song I'm listening to, that Maroon 3 song where they go to weddings because like they just look so happy, campfires, euphoria by Calvin Klein, the kids I work with, my brothers, my sisters are alright too XD, Faith, Dallin, Kay, Kaitlynn, Miranda, Jayme, Erickson and Dibble, finishing stories, Blue, dancing, crazy dreams, being told about someone's crazy dream that's so crazy you're pretty sure they're making it up, coffee-flavored things, my markers, the fact that I can art pretty well, whip cream, the ! in Panic! At The Disco being so important, songs that are about being powerful and confident, the fact that Kesha is free, Jacksepticeye, prop hunt LPs, Dan and Phil, Outlast LPs, Joel from Last of Us, the Percy Jackson books and basically anything Rick Riordan has ever written, any jokes that involve the word fuck, swear words that are really creative like assfuck or bitchlamp or fuckwaffle, people who are unapologetically themselves, taking the time to really get to know someone, taking the time to get to know a child that the world has given up on, Jaden, the fact that I can write whatever I want and no one will actually judge me to my face, the fact that I have pretty hair, conquering fears, any song by fall out boy, the idea of the celestial kingdom, people who are kind, people who are humble, my students, all of them honestly, even the assholes,

hair dyed crazy colors, perfect eyeliner, red lipstick, beauty gurus laughing for real since they're so fake otherwise, you just know that they aren't usually happy so it's nice to see them be happy, taking a deep breath after you've been holding your breath for too long, the smile and laugh of anyone who doesn't usually smile or laugh, babies, kids in general, Thomas, the fact that Nathan sent me flowers to soothe his own ego and i didn't write back, the fact that i am actually that petty, pettiness in general when it doesn't result in harm, cats, anything fuzzy really, blue eyes, chocolate brown eyes, pretty makeup, that moment when you put on highlighter, baggy clothes, giant sweatshirts, coffee, pudding, colors, wind outside a window, snow outside a window, kids making ugly-ass snowmen, memes honestly and no im not sorry, when im upset and people who can't even see my face know something is up just because they care enough to pay attention, being genuine with someone who isn't usually very far from their humor, being able to support people who just need someone to be there through it all, having someone there to support me through it all no matter how much of an egotistical asshole i am, jumping off of things, the color green, big windows with sunlight streaming in, sunsets, city lights, any light aesthetic at all, really, powerful women, anyone who has refused to let their confidence be stripped from them, people who are just unreservedly inclusive and kind and wonderful, beautiful humans, beautiful landscapes, finding something that's secret and beautiful that you didn't expect to find, little hidden pocket caves, rocks to climb, distant laughter from strangers, when someone has a crazy laugh, the way thomas says crackers, the way thomas talks in general, the fact that thomas can fucking talk to be honest, things that are so ugly they loop back around to being cute again, things that have a lot of stripes, people that can actually pull off things like zebra or cheetah patterns and other people's reactions to those people's to their personalities, high sloping ceilings, hogwarts, black aesthetics, red aesthetics, tanned skin and red silk, glitter or anything that sparkles at all, really, that immediate high after caffeine, clean paper, entirely filled notebook paper, neat notes, neat math, neat bookshelves, casually messy houses, fluffy food, haunting remixes, dim yellow lights from the corner of the room, pale smooth surfaces, the idea of eyelights being able to change shape, perfect teeth, meows, cats rubbing against your legs because they want you to pet them, white guys who make jokes about white guys, genuinely sweet boys, genuinely sweet girls, bi people telling other bi people that they're out to steal the whole world's significant other and the looks on the faces of everyone else who heard them, lillie and marshall's relationship in how i met your mother, the fact that i have been able to take some small amount of responsibility lately, being able to leave home and be my own person for a bit, and the future hope of being able to stand my mother, in that case. The thought of all the good things the future will inevitably bring, the idea that even if there are bad things, it doesn't matter, because if you're a good person you'll reap that later, but honestly even if that doesn't happen it's okay because life is still good if you let it be, or at least it will be if you wait and if you go out and help, the fact that no matter how hopeless i feel, it will pass, and i can ignore it, the letter Q, my last name, mission impossible jokes, the mmm whatcha say meme, fluffy smut, when something really sad in a book is tentatively and hopefully resolved and we know the characters will probably be able to find happiness soon, the very idea of hope as a concept, the very idea of hope as something that isn't abstract and can have very very real implications in your life, the acceptance you can find when no one knows you, being myself, watching others be themselves, the smell of mint, peppermint tea, hugs, kisses, cheek kisses, squeezing someone so tightly that they start to laugh in that sort of semi-panic semi-happy sort of way, when someone you've really been missing comes back into your life, that very first moment when i saw faith step off the plane, coconut oil, coconut flavoring in general, the taste of creamy things, the taste of berries, the taste of caramel, combining the three, smooth and beautiful singing voices, a race to the finish, feeling accomplished, completing something before the deadline, finishing something a long time coming, looking out across a vast expanse and spotting something really small in the distance, kissing someone goodbye

the end lol

 **Fresh:**...

"fuckwaffle"

 **Crush:** "Maroon 3"

i just noticed that

 **Fresh:** lol hey, whatevs

 **Crush:** i was typing fast okay

XDDD

 **Fresh:** mines really fucking short so ill go next, unless ollie wants to

 **Crush:** i mean go for it

 **Ollie:** go ahead lol

i was a-readin

 **Fresh:** Fluffy blankets, hot cocoa, cold tea, waterfalls, exotic places, forests, mountain, Tennessee, Smokey Mountains, Grand Canyon, Lake Michigan, writing, painting, drawing, reading, watching tv, watching YouTube, watching movies, pizza, tacos, nachos, fans, cool weather, rain, thunder storms, night time, day time, early morning air, Fall, Spring, Winter, snow, icicles, my car, my dog, puppies, comic books, Marvel, water, pop, queso, hot pockets, Interstellar, movie soundtracks, John Carter, Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, Avatar, The Lone Ranger, Pokemon, Cyndaquil, Snorlax, Bulbasaur, Drifloon, Chingling, Shaymin, Oshowatt, Togepi, Undertale, Papyrus, Sans, Red, Fell, Blue, Stretch, Razz, Slim, headphones, fluffy pillows, cozy pajamas, Pirates of the Caribbean, my bed, art tablet, pencil and paper, fresh paper, fresh colored pencils, being able to write, being able to draw, Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, Return of the King, Signs, The Village, fireflies, crawdads, ponds, creeks, rivers, fishing, watching fireworks, seeing the stars, going camping, being warm, being cool, not being in pain, not being anxious, not being depressed, Wisconsin, Illinois, my friends, my family, the cats, hot showers, being clean, lava lamps, chocolate, strawberry shakes, strawberry milk, peanut butter, toast, Hunger Games, Divergent, movie theaters, fluff, hurt/comfort, Series of Unfortunate Events, the Bible, Ollie, Crush, horror games, Markiplier, funny games, action games, adventure games, video games, board games, Monopoly, Life, Southern Kentucky, dogwood trees

and thats it

thats all my brain could give me, the stupid broken piece of shit that it is

 **Ollie:** series of unfortunate events was so fucking good

 **Fresh:** right TuT

 **Crush:** oooohhhhhhhhhhhhh i shoulda done movies i forgot about that man

 **Fresh:** movies were like my saving grace

 **Crush:** okay ollie your turn

 **Ollie:** the color dark red, finding new music that i like, that feeling that you get when you're going down a hill really fast and it burns your stomach, when people walk uneven so their heads bob above the crowds and stick out, vine compilations, thinking of the same stupid joke over and over and laughing every time, the way that my best friend's hand fits perfectly in mine when we link fingers as we walk, that thing that girls do where they flip their hair out of their face without using their hands, taking long walks in the middle of the night even when i know i have other things to do, writing the same word over and over and over and over until it no longer looks real, taking a bath and then hopping out to immediately take a cold shower, back to the future trilogy, making references to movies that ive never seen once, reading a well-worn paperback of mine that's falling apart at the seems, the way that the scent of a coffeehouse lingers on your clothes long after youve left, the way that the lever in your car switches up to full when you can afford a full tank of gas, taking the aux cord from my friends to play crappy music, strumming the same five chords on the ukulele over and over again and humming a tune that i make up as i go along, drinking a tall glass of cold tea with just a bit of honey in it, doing something stupid even after ive been told not to and then blaming it on the people that told me not to do it, taking a deep breath that fills my lungs so full that it hurts and then letting it out as quickly as i can, laughing so hard that my stomach hurts for the rest of the day, freshly washed blankets, a stomach that's not too full, pulling a pizza from the over and listening to the crunch as you roll the cutter across the crust, dead up eating a block of cream cheese to win a bet, drinking a huge glass of cold water after crying for a while stretching until you feel that burning pull in your muscles and you have to stop to take a break, winning a bet and sitting there smugly instead of gloating because the fact that they know is somehow so much better than actually bragging about it, getting a new pair of headphones and listening to all of your favorite songs again and wondering if they always sounded that good, slam poetry, spoken word rap, looking back at every horrible mistake youve ever made and seeing just how far you really have come to be here and now, reading a book up so late that your eyes can no longer be held open so you just close them for a minute and wake up the next day with the edge of the page imprinted on your cheek, popping every joint in your body one by one, driving with no destination in mind because theres nothing better to do, hearing that one song come on the radio and laughing at your great fortune as you turn it up louder and make the speakers of your car rumble with the strain of sound, watching two friends stand beside each other and share a look, sharing a look with someone when both of you are thinking the same thing, hating the same people as someone else, writing down so many useless things and going outside and burning them and watching them go from yellow to orange to black, flipping aimlessly through the pages of a new journal and trying to figure out if you really want to sully the beautiful blank sheets with your chicken scratch, eating something crunchy and salty, putting on new fuzzy socks and wiggling your toes to try and adjust them, getting a new binder and wearing it and being proud of just how well youre passing, going to get a haircut with a pit of anxiety in your stomach before coming out standing proudly at the newly buzzed side of half your head, getting a tattoo that youve always wanted to get and realizing that your body truly is your own, "youre nothing like the person that i thought you would turn out to be" when you never wanted to be that person in the first place, talking to my friends about the dumbest things and having the same conversations over and over because you dont want to stop talking long enough for somthing interesting to happen, making thicc jokes even though the trend is over, laying down and relaxing every muscle of your body in turn until it feels like youre no longer there, smoking so much that you cant walk and you lay there, feeling the word turn around you and you cant stop smiling, pulling someone close to you and letting them tuck their face in your chest and cry it out, playing with hair, eating the same meal so many times in a row that any time you deviate in the slightest bit its like a whole new experience, trying to do something i saw on pinterset and realizing a package of fairy lights and a bunch of fake plants later that i fucking suck at home design, tfw u poop so good thumbs up emoji, watching literally any movie with ryan renolds in it, hearing someone talking shit about me and being able to genuinely say that it has no effect on me, walking in circles around my room over and over and over, running my fingers through the thick fur of my dog and putting my head into her chest and letting it absorb any tears that escape my eyes, looking at something that someone else has done and being able to admire just how much effort and dedication it must have take to reach that point, complimenting someone on something that you love about them enough to where they finally believe you because theyve reached the point of being able to help themself, wrapping myself in a blanket so tight that its a struggle to get out, taking a nap and then waking up and realizing that i want to go to sleep, staying up so late that my eyes begin to burn and my feet feel heavy, not wearing a bra at all, buying a brand new package of socks, eating grapes, music that i can just imagine as me my whole life to where it makes me tear up just a bit

 **Fresh:** pretty damn cool guys

 **Crush:** holy shit ollie

 **Ollie:** what

 **Crush:** see this is why i love doing this with other people

i haven't happy-cried, like actually happy-cried in months

 **Ollie:** thats like

so many minutes

 **Crush:** i fuckin

_:middle_finger:_

**Fresh:** <3

 **Ollie:** <3!!!

~~~

 **Ollie:** pleade dont make me do a multichap im so bad at those

 **Fresh:** we dont have to XDDDD i just said one shot was fine

 **Crush:** Except Ollie, Ollie is required to do multichap

 **Ollie:** it took so long for that to send

aw fuck

multi chap is technically 2 chapters so

 **Fresh:** lol

 **Crush:** Chapter 1: Fuck Chapter 2: You

 **Ollie:** idk man im kinda tired

maybe later

 **Crush:** Weak

 **Ollie:** listen im not good at these kind of jokes but im trying okay

 **Crush:** I meant ur dicc game

 **Ollie:** fresh crush is insulting my dick again

 **Fresh:** *sprays crish with water bottle* bad crush  
im leaving it  
your name is crish now  
**Ollie:** y r u spraying crish, crush is the one whos being a dick  
**Fresh:** i dont know man  
bad aim  
**Crush:**  
Crish go back in ur cage, for God's sakes  
**Ollie:** who let them out this time

~~~

 **Ollie:** vampire trope: mortal lover getting mad at their vampire lover and wearing garlic/sterling silver, cross necklaces to give the silent treatment and vampire is just "babe, come on, tell me what i did wrong!!"

 **Fresh:** XDDD

 **Crush:**...

Fellcest

 **Fresh:** yep

 **Ollie:** 100% the fell bros

 **Fresh:** but which is which

 **Ollie:** fell is petty af so red is the vampire

 **Fresh:** nice

 **Crush:** Red sitting in the back corner as fell just hooks a silver ring around each of his individual ribs

 **Fresh:** XDDDDDD

 **Crush:** "you know it only takes one to keep me over here right" "I just want to make sure"

 **Ollie:** fell putting a line of crosses in a semi circle around the front door so red steps in and then is trapped right by the door

"FELL COME MOVE THESE" "move them yourself" "dude."

"whats for supper" "Italian" "FOR FUCKS SAKE PLEASE TALK TO ME"

 **Fresh:** XDDDDDDDDDD

this is fucking great

 **Ollie:** fell sets a plate down in front of him and all thats on it is a piece of garlic bread

 **Fresh:** what did Red even do

 **Ollie:** wont pick up his sock

 **Fresh:** XDDDDDDDDD

 **Crush:** I like the other side of it though with some fluff and when fell thinks red is human he has him over and he's talking about how the make or break point of good Italian food is the garlic, and how much he loves garlic in his dishes, and then later they're dating and he's found out red is a vampire and he makes him lasagna or whatever and reds just kinda like "well thanks but I can't eat this" and fell just kind of waves him off "oh, no, don't worry, I left the garlic out"

 **Fresh:** awwwwwwwww

 **Ollie:** okay but thats really sweet

and gay

 **Crush:** Like me right

 **Ollie:** yea

not as gay as me of course since i am the Alpha Gay but youre rly sweet and a cool friendo so

 **Crush:** Yeah you're right that was pretty alpha gay

;)))))

 **Ollie:** im leaving

i am like

super het

 **Crush:** Ultimate S.T.R.A.I.G.H.T.

 **Ollie:** super trans really amazing individual getting homosexual trends

~~~

 **Crush:** Put on my TV shows so I can be looking nice for Ollie's dank ass prank channel bc I'll bet you have one of those don't you

Fresh is nice that's true

 **Ollie:** *gives my cashier $1 more than what amount i owe*

HA HA GET PRANKED BRO

 **Fresh:** XD

 **Ollie:** oh my god biit

papyrus' pranks

 **Crush:** I'm so

That's like

"hey guys we gonna prank the pizza man see this $100 bill im gonna just give it to him for no reason at all hell yeah $120 pizza guys"

 **Ollie:** "you look nice today. HA! PRANKED! you look nice everyday!"

 **Crush:** I love him

 **Ollie:** hes so good

 **Fresh:** pure

~~~

 **Crush:** "a man calls 911 and says in a soft voice, "I am currently sitting next to the little girl you're looking for. She is safe, for now, but if no one comes to get her quick enough, I will be forced to do something unspeakable to her kidnappers"

 **Fresh:** well damn

thats so ominous

 **Crush:** I love it

 **Fresh:** same

 **Crush:** I'm picturing red clutching this terrified little  child to his chest, staring down at the unconscious kidnappers and just shaking in rage, then very deliberately pulling his phone out of his pocket to make the call

~~~

 **Fresh:** and i will never shut up about how awesome Ollie's drabbles are, and how they are super funny and emotional and i love reading them

and am reading them right now

 **Ollie:** @discord let me delete other peoples messages

**SansyFresh pinned a message to this channel.**

**Ollie:** ha

 **Fresh:** lol

 **ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** fight me, fresh

 **SansyFresh changed the channel name:** no :D

 **ollieoxenfree changed the channel name** :

**Crush:** why are we spicy boyfriending this

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** boxes

**Ollie:** spicy

oh

yea thats right lol

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** skeleton whores

**Fresh:** i like that one

**Ollie:** tfw u forget ur own story

NOOOO

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** no

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** ¯\\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** bitch

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** bitchpls

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** bitchy skeleton whores

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** guys can't we just be friends

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** no fk u

**Fresh: *** starts singing y can we be friend*

y cant we be friend

y cant we be friend

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** friendly skeleton whores

**Fresh:** y cant we be friiiieeeennndddd

**Ollie:** fresh stop your singing is giving her power

**Fresh:** friiiiiiieeeeennnnnndddddddd

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** skeleton whores

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** No Puns Allowed While I Am Eating Spaghetti Under The Sink!

**Ollie:** fk u

**Crush:** um fuck off

**Fresh:** y is papy eating spaghetti under the sink

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** stop referencing my fic u shits it sucks ass

**Ollie:** eating his feelings

**Fresh:** o

:'(

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** you had a typo there buddy

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** JSUT LEAVE IT AS SKELETON WHORES IF U GUYS WANT TO BE ASSHOLES ABOUT IT

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** pls no caps

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** short, spiky, kinda edgy but not really, has a crippling fear of memes

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** short, spiky, kinda edgy but not really, has a crippling fear of memes referencing their shitty fics

**Ollie:** what

fhats not what i thoed

typed

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** can we pls not fite bros

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** I have a peephole!

**Ollie:** for the love of god stop changing the chat name

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** for the love of god stop changing the chat name

**Ollie:** r u actually going thru the last chapter of my fic to reference it

i hate you

**Fresh:** who?

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** im literally just copy/pasting lines from it

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** yeah i fucking figured that out

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** blossom baby

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** other references

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** Ollie and Crush are diccs to each other

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name** : Let's get drunk and do stupid shit, it'll be fun

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** dont you dare ollie

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** then stop we leave it as the commas and periods or we leave it as skeleton whores

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** pick one

**Fresh:** skeleton whores works for me

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** the commas and periods or we leave it as skeleton whores

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** skeleton whores

**Ollie:** none of that

if, a few months ago, i knew that the sb group chat would lead to this then i never would have written the fic

**Fresh:** yes you would have

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** bones involved in prostitution (but not that kind)

**Ollie:** ,,,.,.,.,,,,.....,..

i wouldnt have gifted it to crush

im fuckgin

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** skeleton whores

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** fair enough ollie

**Ollie:** crush for fucks sake stop

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** no

**SansyFresh changed the channel name:** skeleton whores

**Fresh:** skeleton whores who happened to be named Sans

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** sorry ill stop

**Fresh:** ur not sorry

u liar

ur pants are so on fire rn bro

**Ollie:** u lie

u fry

the bible says

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel name:** on my way to hell but not because of being a whore

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** ,,.,......,,.,,,.,........

**Crush:** i actually like skeleton whores better just for the record

**Fresh:** lol same

**ollieoxenfree changed the channel name:** skeleton whores

**Crush:** or "I have a peephole!"

**Ollie:** please leave it this time my crops are dying

~~~

**CrushingOnSans changed the channel icon.**

**Crush:** no i didn't

this thing is a snitch

**Fresh:** i was about to say

its uh

the same?

**Crush:** exactly i didn't change anything nothing at all

**Fresh:** somehow i dont believe you

~~~

**Crush:** wow emma that is some odd pornography you have saved to your computer

why do you have that

and why is it in your memes folder

im not even into this

**Fresh:** past emma played a prank on you

**Crush:** past emma what the fuck

do you guys wanna see this bc its really weird

~~~

**Fresh:** ok, i should explain this now, since crush knows this

i hate making decisions

**Crush:** FRESH DOES NOT MAKE DECISIONS

**Ollie:** when did you decide that

**Crush:** snorts

**Ollie:** hyuck hyuck hyuck

~~~

**Crush:** i dont think i call any of my fics by their actual names

**Fresh:** i dont XD

**Crush:** cosos, coss, st

**Fresh:** unless its new and no one knows it

**Crush:** C&S lol i don't even call fresh's fics by their full name

**Fresh:** i dont either its all good

**Crush:** spicy boyfriend

taste of silver

beat the odds

perseverence i guess i call by its name but no one knows it by that so i just call it "that fic where i killed a baby because _ apparently _ I'm a monster"

~~~

**Crush:** i need to go golf cart the dog so ill be back in a few

~~~

**Crush:** Today on Why The Fuck is Fanfiction:

“Papyrus still sounded very subdued, as if he still wasn’t sure about his consent.

Sans knew how to change that.”

“swooped back to kiss Sans and returned his hands to where they’d been, where it felt like they belonged, under Sans’ clothes.”

I hate fanon underswap

“smothering him with his tongue”

**Ollie:** crush if u hate the fanon shit so much then y do u read it

**Fresh:** she likes to complain about it XD

**Ollie:** i mean idk abt u guys but i personally feel like my hands always belong under someones clothes

i have poor circulation and theyre so cold

warm me

**Fresh: *** hands mittens*

**Ollie:** i hate mittens

i have more than 2 fingers

u cant flip someone off when u have mittens on

**Fresh:** u can

it takes some skill

**Ollie:** tear a hole in the fucking mitten and give em the ol' one finger salute

**Fresh:** that works

~~~

_ *Crush and Fresh talking about and quoting Ollie’s fics while they’re offline, then they get on* _

**Ollie:** so you guys need to stop doing this shit with my writing ive read it once when i wrote it and i have no desire to read it again

**Crush: *** reads your stuff repeatedly*

*reads my own stuff repeatedly*

*reads everything repeatedly*

Um so fuck u

**Ollie:** y

un

rood

**Fresh:** but not my stuff, my stuff isnt good for re-reading

so ha

**Crush:** I've read caramel and sugar three times so suck on that

**Fresh:** y tho

**Ollie:** if were being honest ive read the fic abt blue like six times already

**Crush:** It gud

**Fresh:** no

**Ollie:** caramel and sugar is so fucking good

i cried

**Fresh:** no

y

**Ollie:** it sad

**Crush:** It so sad

~~~

**Crush:** I don't really cry writing my own shit so ur point is invalid

**Ollie:** except for that one

**Fresh:** u cried writing rb

**Crush:** Which one

I cried @ ur shit in rb

**Ollie:** the one who we do not speak of

~~~

**Ollie:** no problem

im lauging

i lobe ruining jokes

**Fresh:** _ :middle_finger: _

lol

**Crush:** lobe

**Ollie:** leave me alobe

**Crush:** neber

~~~

**Fresh:** "recess sucks all of the ass" ~Crush 2k17

~~~

**Crush:** You could make a salty pb&j sandwich with Ollie's jelly

~~~

**Crush:** Your true fandom is me right   
Like fuck the skeletons   
Let's just get crush quotes

~~~

**Ollie:** also just letting you guys know for a friend: theres actually an insane amount of reader fics for slim but theres like 2 for razz   
a uh

friend told me this   
**Crush:** Oh yeah I have a friend who'd love the links to the razz ones if your friend happens to have them handy   
**Fresh:** you guys are nerds   
**Crush:** I've never even heard the term   
**Ollie:** well just to let your friend kno bc my friend told me that fics with razz are actually not that good tbh   
**Fresh:** i know of one with Razz thats mostly about Razz interacting with and becoming the Reader's kids dad   
**Crush:** My friend wants to know if your friend remembers that rottenberry/reader one that scarred certain geeks for life   
I remember that one it was pretty cute   
**Ollie:** oh yea my friend remembers that one   
**Crush:** The kid one not the "what the fuck blue" one   
**Ollie:** fresh would you like the link my friend can get it for you   
**Fresh:** link for what   
**Crush:** Fresh you would not like the link   
**Fresh:** am i going to cry   
**Crush:** Don't trust any of Ollie's friends   
None of them   
**Ollie:** you might   
its just   
its   
**Fresh:** i dont want to cry   
**Crush:** It's art   
**Ollie:** really something   
**Crush:** It's not sad   
It's just   
**Ollie:** not like depressing cry   
its something else   
like   
**Crush:** "what the fuck" cry   
**Fresh:** ah   
**Ollie:** yep   
**Fresh:** im not sure i want to cry for that reason either

~~~

**Crush:** Why do people wanna fuck slim so bad

**Fresh:** i def dont

i bet ollie does tho

**Ollie:** hes my son

NO

**Fresh:** XDDD joking lol

**Crush:** No Ollie wants to fuck razz

**Fresh:** thats true

**Crush:** But Ollie would 10/10 best friend the hell out of slim

**Ollie:** hes the only one that i havent looked into the mirror and been like "i would probably get bangin"

hell yea i would

wait

wiat

**Crush:** Best friend him so hard

**Ollie:** i woold not fuckgi razz

fuck i

fuck U

**Fresh:** i just snorted

**Crush:** Sorry, sorry, let me rephrase the razz thing

**Fresh:** like really loud

**Crush:** Ollie would absolutely get fucked by razz

**Fresh:** XDDDDDDD

thats better, yes

**Crush:** But then turn around to slim and be like hey

Bby

Wanna just

Make friendship bracelets

**Ollie:** im leaving

**Fresh:** nooooo

**Crush:** Aaaaaaaall night long

**Ollie:** i dont even like friendship bracelets

**Ollie:** we'd watch movies or some shit

shut up

**Crush:** U would if they were with slim

**Ollie:** no

leave me alone

**Crush:** It's like an undiscovered kink

**Fresh:** you'd get all bro with each other

**Crush:** But with ur new bestie

"bro will u be my bro" "of course bro" "bro"

Best bros

**Fresh:** i saved you your favorite color for your bracelet, bro

**Ollie:** stop bro shipping me with slim

**Fresh:** never bro

**Crush:** OlliexSlim is my new brotp

**Fresh:** i like it

**Crush:** I'm gonna call it BBQDick because it has their favorite foods in it

**Ollie:** okay so

listen

**Fresh:** im d e a d

**Ollie:** i eat dick

but that deosnt mena

its my favorite

shit the fuci up

**Crush:** Sorry

**Fresh:** d e c e a s e d

**Ollie:** i suck dick for weed

**Crush:** BBQPussy

**Fresh:** XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

**Crush:** BBQWeed

Am I getting warmer

**Ollie:** i actually screamed

i hope you know that

**Fresh:** BBQDickWeed

**Ollie:** my dog jumped up in panic and ran into a wall

stOP

**Fresh:** XDDDDD

**Crush:** I'm gonna scream because I just imagined what bbq pussy would taste like and now I'm scarred for life

**fresh:** XDDDDDDDDDDD

**Ollie:** pussy tastes fine on its own

**Fresh:** i dont really want specifics, thank

**Crush:** So does bbq sauce

But just because ice cream and corn on the cob taste good doesn't mean they should be combined

**Ollie:** listen if yall r gonna pull this friend shipping shit then im gonna go in detail abt every pussy ive ever eaten

**Fresh:** ill stop pls dont

pls

**Crush:** I mean

I meeaaannnnn

**Fresh:** cRUSH I SWEAR TO GOD

~~~

**Crush:** "virgin ears" I'm sorry how many times have you gotten ur ear fucked ollie

~~~

**Crush:** I deMAND TO KNOW

**Fresh:** too bad, not ready

**Ollie:** i respectfully ask to kno

**Crush:** aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Fresh:** not ready

you will see

**Crush:** I will

**Fresh:** yes

**Crush:** Spam u with ships

Idk

**Fresh:** lol

**Crush:** I have no weapons

**Ollie:** im gonna spam u with texts and crush isnt going to stop scremainf until u tell us

is that what u want

to be

**Fresh:** dont send me bledgeup cuddles, that would be the worst

**Ollie:** screamed at  and spanmed

well fick u im gonna do that

**Fresh:** nuuuuuuu

**Crush:** I'll send you bledgeup smut bc I know you want the cuddles

**Fresh:** awww :(

**Crush:** I don't have any bledgeup smut

But

I WILL FIND SOME

~~~

**Crush:** Why do I have so much rottenberry porn on my phone

Where did I even find this

~~~

**Ollie:** i can always count on you guys

to be there

for me

mentally

**Crush:** To drive u mental, you mean

~~~

**Crush:** Um I wear high heels in the morning

No I don't but this author can still suck it

~~~

**Ollie:** "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" _ CRACK _

im fuckig

this is how im going to write action now

~~~

**Ollie:** lol poor crush

get fucked crush we love u!

~~~

**Ollie:** time is a man made concept i almost always eat pizza rolls for "breakfast"

**Fresh:** lol pizza for breakfast is great

especially if its cold

**Ollie:** i hate cold pizza

**Fresh:** love it

**Ollie:** cold anything

other than ice cream

hurts my tweth

teeth

**Fresh:** mmmm, cold mac n cheese

i have sensitive teeth too lol

**Ollie:** i think i just threw up

**Fresh:** XDDDD

that one usually gets to people, ive found

**Crush:** tweth

Also fresh wtf

**Fresh:** what?

cold mac n cheese is the best

cold pizza is better tho

**Crush:** No bro

**Fresh:** yes bro

**Ollie:** cold pizza is alright

not my fav but sometines the microwave is too far away ya kno?

**Fresh:** cold pizza has a different taste than hot pizza

**Ollie:** but yeah cold mac n cheese makes me want to die really hard

and thats saying something because i want to die all the time man

**Fresh:** just take the container out of the fridge

pop off the lid

get a fork

and take a giant bite of that cold

cheesy

goodness

(im not sorry)

**Crush:** I'm so

**Ollie:** blocked

**Fresh:** i love you guys too

**Crush:** Double blocked

**Fresh:** <33

**Ollie:** _:middle_finger:_

**Fresh:** <3333333333

**Ollie:** _:middle_finger::purple_heart:_

~~~

**Crush:** Any Sans screaming "don't look" at his little brother as he's being hurt/killed by anything ever. Papyruses, child or adult, shaking in horror from their hiding place because they know that if they come to help they'll just make it worse so all they can do is respect big bro's wishes and not watch as everything is destroyed

This has been "What the Fu- _ Why??? _ " with Crush. Tune in next week for more

**Ollie:** so do you just. look in the mirror every morning and think "whats a great way to ruin someones day"?

**Fresh:** my heart

**Crush:** Hell yes Ollie and I'm sorry fresh (no I'm not)

**Fresh:** no ur not

u enjoy hurting my heart

**Crush:** Hehehehe

~~~

**Crush:** I really hope that you guys are okay with sanscest because I have some ideas and I've done a tiny bit of plotting and it's gonna be lit

**Ollie:** _:ok_hand:_

**Fresh:** .......are you really asking Ollie and I

Ollie and I

**Ollie:** actually yea fresh has a point

**Fresh:** if were ok with Sanscest

**Ollie:** crush thats a stupid question

**Crush:** Fresh u call people sans loving hippies

**Ollie:** @me

~~~

**Ollie:** fresh come back to us

the gay

its here

**Crush:** Oh no that's just me sorry

~~~

**Crush:** Hey Ollie a friend of mine would love a link to that one if you happen to have it handy

**Fresh:** fuck you guys and your "friends"

**Ollie:** uggghhhghhh

**Fresh:** just say "i want the damn link"

**Ollie:** im on my phone rn gimme a few

**Crush:** But what if I actually had friends other than you guys

**Fresh:** that are also into Swapfell

**Crush:** That would be a Christmas miracle

**Ollie:** im rly into swapfell

its

an issue

**Crush:** I've never even heard of it what's this SwapFell you speak of

**Sansy:** this from the nerd with a Razz phone accessory

~~~

**Fresh:** marathoning Crushs oneshots

**Ollie:** crush has such a good osc tho

**Fresh:** yasss

**Ollie:** sometimes i go back and read betrayal and i still cry

**Fresh:** lol

**Ollie:** thinking back on it that probably started my obsession with razz

hm

**Fresh:** probably XD

**Ollie:** crush its your fault that im the way that i am

i hope youre happy

**Crush:** I can see u two complimenting me

_ :middle_finger: _

**Fresh:** good

take my love

<3

**Crush:** Y would u marathon my stupid shit

**Fresh:** because i fuckin can

and i wanna

~~~

**Crush:** I'm bullshitting it's not an exact science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, I'm going on hiatus! If you would like details, go [here](https://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/post/166470775694/announcement-hiatus)


	125. Desapareces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got a prompt on Tumblr that uh... well, it was supposed to be like a drabble thing, but the prompt really spoke to me and now i have over 4k words. So I can't really reasonably post it all on Tumblr. So hey, enjoy this little break from hiatus. I will be coming back in full on my birthday, November 11 (how's that for a "subtle" spon, ha HA)
> 
> Warnings: Major Character Death, Angst

Blue would never understand the fear of heights. There was something exhilarating about standing at the top of the world, looking down and seeing nothing but ants. The world was so much more gorgeous when it was watched from a distance, he thought, and as for falling? Well, a view like that was almost worth the risk. 

God, but even falling would be exhilarating. As final as the end of that journey might be, the fall itself? The wind rushing past him, tearing at his clothes, pushing its way through his sockets? It was so tempting. It would only take a split-second’s decision, a single step forward. 

It would be so much easier than all of this… running.

Toes to the line, ends of his boots peeping out over the edge, staring down at the empty forest below, he took a deep breath in. Heights, he’d never fear. There were much scarier things to be afraid of. 

He could hear his name, called from the next floor down, but he ignored it. Razz’d find him, just like always. For now, he just wanted to look down, edging just a scant  _ inch _ closer, pushing himself just a little further--

The door to the roof slammed open behind him, and he flinched, keeping enough of a clear head to step back, away from the edge, from the temptation that was always there. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” 

There was a semi-hysterical edge to Razz’s voice, and Blue turned around just as the other caught him around the middle, dragging him back and away from the view.

“Razz!” Blue unsuccessfully tried to push the hands away, but Razz clung to him all the tighter. “I wasn’t going to--”

“Jump?! What the hell were you thinking?” Razz’s voice had already dropped to a harsh whisper, and Blue looked up to see him glaring over the edge of the building with fire in his eyes. Then again, when didn’t Razz have fire in his eyes? It was kind of his thing, Blue supposed, the whole reason they were out here in the first place. 

“Even if you weren’t gonna jump--,” he continued, the glare shifting down and directly onto Blue. “--these buildings are a thousand years old. One wrong step, and I’m stuck out here alone!” His hold loosened, and Blue shoved him off, rolling his shoulders and returning the glare with one of his own. He was pretty sure it didn’t intimidate Razz too much, since his expression didn’t even flicker. 

“You’d be fine, Mr. Survivalist. What am I supposed to do when you go out ‘scouting’ or whatever the hell it is you do when you leave me in these stupid human cities by myself?”

“Killing yourself might be something you’d like to avoid!” Razz shouted, throwing his hands in the air. When Blue didn’t respond, he groaned again, spinning around and stomping back through the open door, descending quickly to the next floor. 

Blue glanced back over the edge of the roof. It really was gorgeous. 

………

He probably had better things to do. 

When he reached the ground floor, Razz was already zipping up his pack, bedroll secured to the top and coat lashed to the front. Blue sighed, folding his arms and leaning back against the wall as he watched the other prepare. 

“I can carry some of that, you know,” he said under his breath.

Razz scoffed, but refrained from reminding Blue that he was essentially useless. Blue could appreciate that, at least. He was fully aware that the last thing the other had wanted to do in this venture was to bring  _ him _ along, but he wasn’t a big fan of being reminded every time they had this argument. 

“How far are we going, today?” he asked, loud enough to be heard. Razz shouldered the pack as he tilted his head, scrunching his brows together in thought. Despite himself, Blue’s eyes flickered down to his bare arms, tracing the curve of the bone before they snapped back up to his face. 

“We need to cross the river before noon, then it’s about eight miles from the caves,” Razz responded, shrugging lightly before bending to scoop up Blue’s bedroll and blanket. 

Blue had seen the maps of the area laid out on his father’s desk, and he had once spent almost an hour poring over them, staring at the areas outside of the boundaries of This Home. When father had caught him, he’d been punished severely, but God, it was worth it. He’d always wondered what those places were like, the “untamed wild” and the “here there be humans”. The irony was not lost on him that he was, to his immense displeasure, finding out that very thing now. 

Remembering those maps, picturing the lines that made up the place in which he was now standing, he felt his eyes widen. “That means that we’re--”

“Less than a day from freedom,” Razz finished, the barest hint of a smile playing across his scarred face. 

Blue laughed, bounding forward and snatching his bedroll from Razz’s hands, dancing around him to grab his own pitifully small backpack before shooting towards the entrance to the building, holding both to his chest. “What are we waiting for?!”

Razz grabbed him by the arm before he could get away, tugging him back with a laugh as he lashed the bedroll to the backpack. “Well, first of all,” he said, grinning down at Blue with something almost like hope in his eyes. “You should let me lead the way.”

~~~

Growing up in This Home, Blue had never really seen color. Gray, square, functional buildings, black and white clothes, plants kept in greenhouses and in the fields. Especially growing up, as he had, in the middle of his society’s government, his father’s prominent position as Captain of the Guard granting them certain protections that other citizens could never hope to have. 

Even his eyelights, blue like every other monster he had ever seen, seemed cold and lifeless when they were all the color he ever saw. 

Out here, everywhere he looked, there was color. There was brown on the ground, there was green bursting up around his feet, there were  _ flowers _ that seemed to have no other purpose than merely to exist. 

He knew what green was, he’d seen it in books and on field trips, he wasn’t an idiot. There had been a few colors, here and there. But when Razz had first shown up, standing in the middle of his bedroom in the time it had taken Blue to blink, it had taken Blue a few seconds to identify the color of his eyelights as purple. 

He hadn’t been able to react to the stranger, a breach in security so rare that he wasn’t even sure he’d ever been told how to react to it. So he’d just asked, “Who are you?” 

Razz’s reaction, if he knew him then like he knew him now, wouldn’t have been terribly surprising. But, as it was, being shoved to the floor and having a knife held to his throat had, in fact surprised him. 

He could see that same knife now, strapped to Razz’s hip, the hilt pressed tightly to the exposed flare of his pelvis. Blue shifted his jaw, looking back down at his feet so that he could avoid tripping over one of the many rocks in their path. What the fuck was the point of even wearing a shirt if all it was going to cover was his ribcage. It barely even covered that! 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

He ignored the dry comment, rolling his eyes and continuing to stare at the ground until he realized that Razz had slowed, drawing back so that they were walking side by side. He glanced up, startled, and Razz huffed out a sigh. 

“Are you doing alright?”

Blue narrowed his eyes. “Nope. Falling behind again. Watch out, we’re going to have to stop even though we just started like an hour ago. My poor ‘pretty-boy’ feet need to rest.”

“Fuck off,” Razz said, eloquently as always. “I meant, like… mentally. I’m not about to watch you make through all the shit we’ve gone through and not even make it to the end of this thing because I wasn’t-- Well. Just-- what the fuck is goin’ on?”

Raising a brow, Blue shrugged. “I’m fine. Tired. A little homesick. Isn’t all that normal?”

“How would you know?”

The question wasn’t asked with any malice, but Blue found himself bristling anyway. Razz was constantly asking him things like that, honest questions laced with pity like he thought Blue was some sheltered child in need of protection. He  _ hated _ it, but he forced himself to push his anger aside. He was, technically, most of those things. 

His first trip away from home, and it was hiking through a forest with a walking dick. Lucky him. 

“I’ve read about it, in books,” he answered, turning away and slowing down further, hoping Razz would get frustrated and push ahead again. No such luck. 

“You’re allowed to read books?”

Blue scoffed. “No. But I did it anyway. The doctor had books, all about… medical treatments, mental health, pictures of naked humans. I think you’d have enjoyed that last bit.”

“Has anyone ever told you you should be a comedian?” Razz asked, an edge of humor in his voice, and Blue turned back to glare at him. 

“You know that I don’t know what that is.”

Razz clambered over a fallen log in their path and dropped down to the other side. “It’s someone who tells jokes for money!” he called as Blue awkwardly scaled the log. 

Standing on top, Blue put his hands on his hips, regarding the other with disdain. “Your world is strange. Who would trade resources for…  _ jokes _ ?”

“I know, right? I’m plenty funny on my own,” Razz said, holding out a hand. Blue glared at the offending limb for a moment, then sighed with resignation and took it. Razz helped him off the log, and Blue could have sworn he felt the other’s hold tighten, just for a moment, trapping his hand tightly in his grip. 

Then he let go, and Blue was watching the other’s retreating back as he continued making his way through the forest. 

It was some time later before he spoke again, about a half hour of trudging silence through the uniform forest. Blue was beginning to understand why there wasn’t much green in This Home. It had all gone to live out here. 

“Do you have any jokes?”

The sound of his own voice surprised him, though not nearly as much as it surprised Razz, who had his knife out of its sheath and embedded in the tree directly beside Blue’s head before he could even move. 

They just stared at each other for a moment, Blue’s mouth hanging open in shock, then Razz coughed, placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest. “Knife to meet you. My name is Razz.”

Blue let out a sound that sounded more like a wheeze than a laugh, and Razz’s hands dropped to his sides dejectedly. “Sorry,” he muttered, stepping past Blue to grip the handle of the knife, yanking it out of the tree trunk before turning back to Blue. “I was just… thinking.”

“About  _ murder _ ?!”

“No!” Razz slipped the knife back into its sheath before he seized Blue by the chin, turning his face this way and that before letting him go with a huff. “And you’re fine, I didn’t even scratch you.”

Blue tilted his head to the side, crossing his arms as he glared at the other. “Thanks. I should count myself lucky, then.”

“You should. I’m supposed to be a sharpshooter.”

“I suppose it’s a good thing you don’t have a gun, then.” 

“I suppose you can shove your--”

_ Crack! _

They both froze, staring into each other’s wide eyes as they listened. There was no wildlife, no ‘animals’, nothing that should have made that--

There it was again. 

Blue felt Razz’s fingers wrap around his wrist, thumb pressing into the bone of his forearm, tracing out a pattern that Blue didn’t immediately recognize as letters. 

R-U-N-T-O--

Another branch snapped, clearly coming from the path they had just come from. Was something following them? What could even be out here? They were weeks from This Home, his father was--

R-I-V-E-R

Blue swallowed, eyes flicking to the north before returning to meet Razz’s. His head shifted the slightest increment down, indicating that Blue had the direction right. Another crack. Razz’s grip on his wrist tightened, fear flickering through his eyelights. 

Then Blue saw a shadow out of the corner of his eye. Razz flinched, glancing to the side before tugging on Blue’s wrist, pulling him away from the shadow and breaking into a dead sprint. Blue was tugged along, panting with adrenaline, staring down at his feet, trying not to trip. 

He could hear crashing behind them, dogs barking, people shouting. His soul froze. 

Jump. Run. Razz’s grip on him shifted, holding tightly to his hand instead of his wrist. Blue didn’t have the energy to wonder why. Run. There was crashing from beside them, and a furry nose stuck through the underbrush. Blue bit back a scream as a purple bone crashed through the foliage, piercing the dog through the nose and holding it to the ground. He closed his eyes, then opened them again as Razz didn’t stop running. He couldn’t be blind. 

Then Razz yelled out, and Blue froze completely, feet going numb, hold on the other’s hand tightening into a death grip. He couldn’t lose Razz, he would die alone out here they would take him back to father they would discipline him he could be sent away how would he surviveifhewassentaway--

“Blue!”

The shock of cold, the loud voice in his ear, who was crying, was it him? Blue bit back loud sobs, feeling himself lifted into someone’s arms, freezing water swirling around them for no more than a few seconds. 

“It’s okay, they’ll lose us if we cross to the other side,” they whispered, and Blue felt them shift their grip on him. He opened his eyes in time to see Razz’s pack floating down the--

“River--Razz, your--your backpack,” Blue said, and he realized he was shaking. Razz tightened his grip, and Blue could feel the vibration of a laugh rumbling through his chest.

“We’re less than a day from that damn resistance. You’re probably more important than some stupid pack.” 

“I c-can walk--” 

“No, you can’t,” Razz said, voice still low as he pressed himself against the riverbank, peering upwards for any searching faces. “We’re going to be in here for a while, and I doubt you have any real experience with cold.”

Blue blinked, feeling the adrenaline beginning to drain out of his system, his shivers beginning to die down as he was pressed to Razz’s chest. He could hear the beat of the other’s soul slowing as they stood, Blue’s mind clearing the more he warmed. 

“Do you have any experience with cold?”

“I grew up in Snowdin, Blue.”

“I think cold water is probably a lot worse than a snow bin.”

Razz snorted lightly, and Blue glanced up at his face before sighing, allowing himself to relax into the hold. He was probably right. Blue wasn’t much help. Razz would be fine. He always was. 

“I can keep watch for them,” he murmured. “Are we going to cross?”

Nodding, Razz grew in a deep breath before clenching his jaw. “Yes,” he replied. Then he swallowed. “If I drop you, get up on my back, out of the water.” 

Blue’s eyes widened in alarm. “But if you drop me, won’t you be--” 

“Blue.”

“O-okay. I’ll do it.”

~~~

Razz had never even pretended to belong in Blue’s world. As soon as he was calmed down enough to explain what he was doing in his room, back when he'd first arrived, he spoke of a place of his own, a cave filled with so many different kinds of monsters he couldn’t even name them all. A place filled with dust and pain, a place he’d had to leave because he was alone there. He’d spoken of a brother, and his eyes filled with a hardness Blue had never seen before when he asked where he was. 

Blue didn’t understand why he would hate this world so much, compared to a place like that. But Razz had told him that it was...blank. Blue’s world was an empty piece of paper, and Razz’s page had been filled. And, as he’d explained, even a paper filled with painful things is better than one with nothing written at all. 

“What would you even put on a paper, to make it...better?” Blue had asked. “Would you write?”

Razz had looked at him, a dry sort of smile curving at half of his face. “I think you’re missing the point of a metaphor.”

“What’s a metaphor?”

The smile had dropped from his face, and he’d looked down at the gray carpet. 

“No, I wouldn’t write. I would… draw. Draw something beautiful.”

Blue had hummed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything beautiful before.” 

“You’re not likely to, living on a piece of paper like--”

“Was your brother beautiful?”

Razz’s socket’s had emptied, mouth working silently for a moment before it snapped shut. It had almost seemed, to Blue, as though he had become an empty piece of paper, himself. And when Razz dropped to his knees at the bank of the river, Blue looked up to see the same expression on his face. It was like he was just… gone. 

He was still holding tightly to Blue, the warmth of his chest seeping through Blue’s nearly-dry clothes. With dawning horror, Blue reached up, pressing his hands to Razz’s cheeks. 

They were ice cold. 

Blue could feel the edge of panic in his soul as he rolled out of Razz’s hold, landing on his hands and knees in the mud at the edge of the river. He sat back on his heels just in time to catch Razz as he fell forward, and he cursed himself inwardly for not making sure he was okay. They’d been in the water for nearly an hour, Razz waiting, pressed against the bank, slowly making progress when he deemed it safe, Blue staring upward in search of their pursuers. He’d--he’d just been distracted, listening and watching, tensing every time they’d heard a dog bark. He should have known, when Razz didn’t respond aloud to him telling him it was probably safe, when there hadn’t been some snarky comment questioning his judgement--

He realized that Razz’s legs were still halfway in the water, and he choked, balancing the other's top half on his shoulder and  _ pulling _ , putting in as much force as he could until Razz started to slide out of the water, Blue stepping back and pulling again. He nearly screamed as his feet slipped out from under him, landing on his back in the icy mud. 

He just lay there for a moment, clutching Razz to him as his chest heaved, staring up at the sky and wondering what it was that he was laying on, that was so lumpy across his--

_ Oh _ .

Blue shot up to sit, seizing Razz by the sides of his head and glaring into his eyes. “C’mon, talk to me, Razz. I have my blanket still. We have to get somewhere dry, I can’t pull you. C’mon, Razz, please?” 

The other’s eyelights shifted, meeting his own, and he sucked in a shaky breath. “That’s it, c’mon, Razz. Here, I’ll help you stand up…”

He pushed himself upright, dragging Razz along with him and half-holding him up as they began their slippery trek across the mud. Blue glanced around, and, seeing no sign of their pursuers, set his sights on a nearby outcropping of trees. It looked… well, warmer than being out in the open, at least. 

The moment Blue let go of Razz, he fell back down, shuddering breaths wracking his entire body. Blue stared down at him, then, with shaking fingers, pulled his blanket out of his tiny backpack, setting the bag aside before he went down on his knees, pulling Razz up to his chest. At least his clothes didn’t seem to be wet, those ridiculous shorts having stayed up and out of the water, so Blue wouldn’t have to take them off. Instead, he wrapped the blanket around both of them, and his legs around Razz’s waist, bundling them as closely together as they could fit. 

“You’ll warm up in no time,” he whispered, tucking the other’s head up under his chin and rubbing his frozen arms with the hand that wasn’t holding the blanket in place. “I’ve--uh--I’ve heard I’m p-pretty hot, so…”

He heard Razz laugh, the quiet sound completely broken with the sound of his chattering teeth. “D-d-do you e-even know w-w-what th-that m-m-means?”

“Nope.”

Razz snorted again, then gasped as Blue’s leg shifted against his own. “Y-you’re too w-w-warm…”

Blue looked up, holding back tears. His own body felt now as it had felt years ago, when he’d been locked in the chef’s freezer by accident. But he was too warm. He was too warm to Razz, who felt like ice against Blue’s bones. He tightened his grip on the blanket, wrapping his hand around Razz’s shaking fingers. “We need to get you warmer.”

He could feel Razz’s soul beating in his chest, as close as they were pressed together. It seemed to be speeding up with every second, and he felt a flutter of hope. Pressing his forehead to the side of Razz’s face, he took a deep breath in, then let it out. It would all be okay. 

Pulling away, he looked down at the thin blanket. They hadn’t needed anything warmer on the other side of the river, with their bedrolls tucked beneath them and sheltered in any building they could find along the way. But with every second, he could feel Razz’s shivers growing, his own body growing colder as Razz’s stole what little heat it had left. He glanced back up to Razz’s face. 

His cheeks were turning blue. 

He almost dismissed it, almost took it as a sign that maybe he was a little warmer, maybe he was recovering. But then he remembered. Razz wasn’t blue. He wasn’t gray or black or blue or blank. He was  _ purple _ . 

Razz’s soul was slowing. 

“No, no, no--” Blue whispered, wrapping himself around the other more tightly, rubbing his arms and legs and gripping onto his blue fingers, tucking his hands into his ribcage in the hopes that his soul would warm them--

“B-Blue, why are you crying?”

He pressed his face into his own shoulder, trying to keep the water away from Razz’s face. He didn’t need any more water, he didn’t need any more cold. Blue sobbed again, clutching the other to him impossibly tighter. 

“I-I don’t w-want you to d-die,” he whispered. He was shivering, he realized. Why was it so cold?

“Oh,” Razz said, and Blue felt the hand he was currently holding tighten, just for a moment. “Then i w-won’t. I d-don’t w-want to.”

“W-why? Why do you w-want to stay? Think a-about it,” Blue said, and he closed his eyes. “T-tell me.”

“B-because I w-want to h-help you d-d-draw s-something h-h-here.” 

Blue held back another sob. “W-what should we d-draw?”

Razz was silent for a long moment. “S-s-something b-b-beautiful.”

“I’ve n-never seen anything b-beautiful,” Blue whispered, eyes cracking open through the tears. Razz was watching him closely, purple eyes narrowing as he studied Blue’s face. 

“I-I’m too h-hot,” he finally said, but he didn’t move to throw away the blankets, and the icy chill of his fingers said otherwise. “I-I’m too...c-can you t-tell S-Slim not to b-b-bring so m-many b-b-blankets?”

Nodding, Blue clenched his teeth. He couldn’t cry, he needed to stay here, they would be okay, Razz would--

He would--

It was… it was so cold...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey btw did you catch that my birthday is November 11 I'm gonna be 19 how cool is that


	126. Lavender's Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what it is with me and pregnancy angst. 
> 
> Warnings for Major character death, child death, premature labor, angst, grief, I'm sure you can infer what's going to happen and that it isn't going to be good. None of the events are described in detail, you are just told what has just happened and left to deal with the emotional pain of it all, so it isn't as graphic as the chapter 100 stuff.

Razz had never been much of a singer. His voice was low and grating, not quite hitting the right notes no matter if he was trying or not. He guessed there was some amount of enjoyment in belting it out if he didn’t care how he sounded, but pride had always been his big fatal flaw. 

Pride and anger. It used to seem like that was all he was good for. 

Of course, singing hadn’t ever been much of a thought in Swapfell. For the most part, it just wasn’t part of the culture. There were a few nursery rhymes, passed down from generation to generation, sung by parents to soothe the fears of their children. But he’d been in Underswap long enough now to explore the little things. Music was amazing, and being with Blue, especially, always ended up with him finding something new to enjoy. 

_ “Lavender’s blue, dilly, dilly, lavender’s green…” _

The sound of Blue’s voice, when he sang, had been rich and deep. He’d had this lilt to his speaking voice that had lended itself well to the music. Stretch had a gorgeous voice, rising and falling and hitting the notes and making your jaw drop that something like that could be coming out of someone like him, but Blue had a beauty all his own. Part of that was due to his enthusiasm, screaming out lyrics as he bounced to a beat, but it was to be admired even in his quiet moments. 

Once, at some party at Alphys’, he’d been standing on a balcony, watching the stars as he sang under his breath. He was barely loud enough to be heard, and the lyrics would have been impossible to understand if Razz hadn’t already heard them out of Blue’s mouth about a thousand times. Drink in his hand, hips swaying to his own imagined melody, he’d certainly painted his own peaceful picture. 

_ “When I am king, dilly, dilly, you shall be queen…” _

Then Razz had tripped over the balcony’s threshold, swearing loudly and breaking the spell. Blue had laughed good-naturedly and helped him up, eyes flashing with warmth. Razz had been sure he would never experience anything so beautiful again. 

But, of course, Blue seemed to make it his life’s mission to surprise him. 

They never really got around to getting formally married. That would have required Stretch’s blessing, Slim’s agreement. Family was important in Underswap, and with as little as their brothers seemed to approve of it all, it just didn’t seem worth it. There were enough quiet nights, closed eyes and bonded souls, that no one, not even their little brothers, could deny what was right in front of their faces. 

Blue and Razz didn’t need anything so formal for it to be clear who they would spend the rest of their lives with. 

_ “Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so?” _

Razz could still hear it, the sound of Blue’s voice ringing through the house. He’d walked into the kitchen, one afternoon four months ago, to find and appreciate the source of the music. Blue had been standing at the kitchen sink, doing the dishes. When he saw that Razz had entered, he’d smiled that beautiful smile, and Razz’s soul had just  _ soared _ . 

Blue was beautiful. He always had been. His voice, his eyes, his endless enthusiasm. Razz had never had anything like this, and even on the bad days, the days of silence and tears, Blue was everything. He was so much  _ everything _ that Razz didn’t think he would ever understand it. And when Razz stepped forward that day, circling his arms around Blue’s waist and realizing that he couldn’t feel the bones past the ecto  _ something _ that was summoned there, he thought that Blue had already given him everything. 

_ “Twas mine own heart, dilly, dilly, that told me so.” _

There had been shock, then doubt. Then, to his own immense surprise, there had been joy. 

The LV12 former Captain of the Royal Guard, Personal Assassin to Her Majesty the Queen, was having a child. Being  _ given _ a child. Blue had given him so many gifts already, so much kindness and love that it had just seemed to good to be true. 

He… he really should have known that it was too good to be true. 

He should have known. 

Blue had such a large presence that it was easy to forget how physically  _ small _ he was. How much magic was running through bones that, despite Blue’s avid protests, were childlike themselves in their size. Razz wasn’t a biologist, but it seemed obvious in hindsight. It made sense that having such an imbalance might have affected the way his pregnancy worked. 

Logic may have been telling him, now, what went wrong. But it was too late. Logic could tell him whatever it wanted, but the dust pooled at Razz’s side, the blood coating his arms and shirt, was telling him that it was far too late to change any of it. 

Blue loved to sing. Full of life, hope, laughter. He’d always hoped for Razz. Loved him, more than he deserved. 

Razz loved Blue so much. 

She looked just like him. Her eyes were bright and blue, her soul sparking, a smile formed on her face when she had first come into being. Her bones were small, too, but Razz was pretty sure that was more on account of the fact that she had been born so early. Far, far too early. He could see her magic trying to pulse through her, soul swelling as it failed to create the magic she needed to survive. 

There was dust softly shimmering on her tiny ribcage. He wiped one shaking hand on the sheets, used a finger to brush away the dust. She wasn’t smiling anymore. He held her to his chest, drew his knees up, felt Blue’s dust shift in the bed beneath him. She was almost too tiny to be held like this. He didn’t care. 

She whimpered, and his soul opened, pouring his magic into her. Anything he could spare, everything he couldn’t. Her soul didn’t look formed enough to absorb it. They hadn’t even given her a name yet. 

Razz’s magic flowed into the dark air, surrounding them with purple light and glittering off of the dust covering it all. She started to cry. 

It was a heartbroken sound, and tears filled Razz’s eyes as he heard it. God, it had all happened so fast. Blue was sick, a cold or something small, but his magic had been working hard to heal him, and he’d been exhausted. With much coaxing and threats, he’d been convinced to lay in bed and rest. Razz’s head had been on his chest, legs hanging haphazardly from the side of the bed as he read from a certain well-known book about a bunny, Blue laughing at the various silly voices Razz was directing as their unborn daughter. 

When Stretch had found out about the kid, he’d immediately gone to a back room, sending what sounded like an entire country crashing to the floor before coming back with the book, all smiles as he handed it to Razz. It’d really been the only smile he’d ever given his brother’s soulmate. 

God, he hadn’t even had a chance to call him, before it’d happened. Would things have been different, if he’d known? If he’d been there? What was he going to tell--

The baby was wailing now, and Razz’s shoulders shook alongside her, crying silently as the grief broke through the shell-shocked horror. He knew he had to do something, comfort her, anything. He was supposed to be her father, wasn’t he? And even if Blue had been the gentle one, the comforting one…

Well, Blue was gone. 

“Los pollitos dicen pio, pio, pio…”

His voice came out stuttering and shattered, but still somehow audible. Carefully, he cradled his child, rocking back and forth in an attempt to calm her. Held close to his body like this, wrapped in his arms, he hoped she was warm. He couldn’t bring himself to leave her long enough to find something to wrap her in. 

“Cuando t-tienen hambre, cuando tienen f-frio…”

Razz remembered singing this to Slim, to comfort him when he was scared. He remembered it being sung to him, too, but only vaguely. Gaster had certainly never sung it. He deemed nursery rhymes to be too common for his wards, even if he treated them no better than dogs. But a simple song had been all Razz’d had on those cold, dark days, just the two of them against the world. 

“La g-gallina busca el maiz y el trigo…”

Her cries were growing weaker, the little fist that he hadn’t even realized was curled around his finger loosening. She blinked up at him, blue eyes making his soul clench. 

“B-bajo de sus a las, a-acurrucaditos…”

She was so small. So still. Silent. His voice fell away, and then he held nothing but dust. Shaking hands rose to his face, pressed to his sockets. The most he could manage was a whisper. 

“D-duermen… l-l-los pollitos--”

“Until tomorrow.”

Razz sobbed as he heard Blue’s voice, felt an arm circling his shoulders. He didn’t look up, knew he’d be gone if he did. 

“Or is it ‘until the next day?’ You told me once, but I can never remember. How does the song go?”

“Hasta el otro d-dia,” Razz whispered. A hand cupped his face, tilted it up until he was looking into bright blue eyes. He didn’t need to look down to see their child held tightly in Blue’s free arm, to hear her giggling. 

Blue wiped under Razz’s socket with a thumb, pressed a kiss to his temple. “‘Until the next day’ it is, then. What do you think?” His hand dropped to grab Razz’s, lifting him up to stand. 

“Have you slept long enough?”


	127. #cc8899

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Late Birthday, Becky!!! Here's your belated part 2! 
> 
> Puce, Egg, and Sirius are BeckysHecky's fankids, Puce being from Rottenberry, Egg from Spicyhoney, and Sirius from Kustard! I have a special place in my heart for Puce, and Blue and Razz really just do not have what it takes to not be shitty parents. In this, Puce is 13, Egg is 15, and Sirius is 16. If you have any questions about canon or would like to participate in their ask blog, go [here](http://askbeckysfankids.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Warnings for child neglect, emotional neglect, emotional abandonment

“What are you doing?”

Puce opened his eyes, coming more or less face-to face with a red-eyed skeleton, pink and black coat half-hanging from his shoulders and hands shoved into his pockets. They just stared at each other for a moment, then Puce shrugged. He realized slightly too late that the motion probably looked ridiculous while he was hanging upside down from the headboard, but hey, too little, too late, right?

“He’s hanging out, clearly,” said a new voice, and Puce glanced towards the door in search of it’s owner. Sirius was leaning in the doorway with their arms folded, grinning at him like they thought they were funny. Knowing them, that was exactly what they thought. 

Puce gathered the magic for a bone attack, and Sirius snickered, ducking back into the hall. “I’m going to be so bonely out here!” they called, and Puce was pretty sure he heard Uncle Stretch laughing somewhere down the hall. 

“Seriously, though,” said Egg, and Puce turned back to face him, taking in the grin the other was sporting from the terrible puns. “Why are you in my room?”

Puce sighed, long and loud, then unhooked his knees from the headboard, grabbing on with one hand so that he landed neatly right-side-up. “I didn’t think you were gonna be home for a while, egghead.” 

“That nickname is almost as funny as the last thousand times you’ve used it,” Egg said, plopping down beside him as Sirius stuck their head back into the room. “And that still doesn’t really answer my question.”

Puce shrugged, tugging his knees up to his chest as he eyed his cousin. “Uncle Fell let me in.”

“We were downstairs,” Sirius said. “How didn’t we see you?”

“Because he let me in through the hall window.”

They both snorted at that, Egg flopping backwards on his mattress. “Does your dad know you came over?”

Puce opened his mouth to reply, but before he could,  [ Sirius’s phone went off ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns91jtuPHZI) , the ringtone playing loudly through the room as he grinned at them and lifted it to his face as slowly as he possibly could. 

“Hello? Oh, Mr. President, it’s so nice to hear from you!”

Puce raised a brow as Egg snickered, Sirius continuing down the hallway and reducing his conversation to indecipherable murmurs. 

“So?”

Glancing down at Egg, Puce let out a sigh. “Nah. But even if Blue grounds me again, they never notice when I sneak out so--” he shrugged, then hopped off the the bed, bouncing to his feet before whirling around to face his cousin with a grin. “--it’s worth it, right?”

“Totally,” Egg snickered, propping himself up on his elbows before kicking out at the other half-heartedly. Puce didn’t even move, just watching him with a confused frown. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Fight me.”

“...Why?”

Egg sighed loudly, then turned over so that he fell off the bed. “Because you’re a punk,” he said from where he was laying in a heap on the floor.

Watching him doubtfully, Puce edged in the direction of the door. “Yeah, you look real tough down there.” Egg peeked up from under the hood of his coat, grinning widely, but didn’t say anything. Puce took another tiny step back. “Super duper threatening, Worldslayer.” 

As things tend to do when you’re lying in a pile on the carpet, the name took a moment to process. Then, with speed rarely seen outside of his last self-imposed hot dog eating contest, Egg shot to his feet, and Puce nearly stumbled over his own in his hurry to escape the room. He was laughing madly as he sprinted into the hall, nearly knocking over a confused Sirius on his way to the landing. Egg was hot on his heels, but before he could catch him, Puce had caught the railing, vaulting over the top to catch the edge of the stairs, then letting himself drop lightly to the first floor. 

Meanwhile, in his hot pursuit, Egg somehow managed to trip on the stairs, falling into a brand-new heap at the bottom. “Parkour,” he groaned.

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked from the top floor, not even managing to look actually concerned. All they received was a thumbs-up, but that was apparently good enough, because they went back to their conversation. 

“What are you doing?” Came a new voice, and Puce turned to see Uncle Fell hovering in the doorway, staring down at his son with a combination of exasperation and disbelief. 

“Parkour,” they responded in unison.

Fell gave Puce a long-suffering look out of the corner of his eye. “Did you jump off the banister again?” Before Puce could even open his mouth, Fell shook his head. “I don’t want to know. Unless anything is  _ broken _ …?” There was a pregnant silence before Puce realized he was supposed to say no. He did so. “...Then I don’t want to know.”

“Dad, something’s broken.”

“What?”

“My heart. It’s my heart that’s broken.” Egg sat up, miraculously uninjured. “I know something that would fix it, though!”

There was one of those sighs, long and deep and so obviously concealing affection that Puce grinned. Uncle Fell had a knack for those. 

“Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”

“ _ Calm my beating heart!!!” _

“Worldslayer, you do not have a beating heart.” 

Puce snickered at Egg’s groan upon hearing his full name. Or maybe he really was disappointed about not having a heart. It really wouldn’t be that out of character. 

“Would you like to stay, Sirius?” Fell called up the stairs, and Puce’s soul felt, just for a second, as though it was being crushed. He shifted uncomfortably as Sirius responded that their parents had been the ones on the phone, that he actually had just been about to head home. He returned Sirius’s offered high five, not bothering to catch his “too slow” like he normally would have. Should he just… it might be best if he left now, with Sirius, he didn’t want to interrupt their family dinner--

“Puce, do you want tomatoes in your salad?”

He jumped at the voice, even though it was no louder than anything Fell had been saying before. Looking over, he saw his raised brow, mouth tilted up as though he knew exactly what Puce had been thinking. 

“I...I don’t want to--”

“Nonsense.” And with that, Fell spun around, re-entering the kitchen. “And I’m taking that as a yes for the the tomatoes!”

Something smacked Puce’s shoulder, and he jumped again, glaring at Egg as he patted him again. His cousin was grinning in that lopsided way of his, and Puce automatically rolled his eyes. 

“As if dad would let you go hungry, dude. C’mon.” 

“I don’t go  _ hungry _ …” he muttered, folding his arms and glaring down at the floor. 

“You don’t even  _ like _ Mexican food. Do your parents ever make anything else?” 

Puce scrunched his face. “I think Blue made a pizza last week.”

“Did it have taco seasoning on it?”

“...Maybe.”

Egg snorted, but grabbed Puce by the arm, dragging him into the kitchen. “Then it’s both Mexican food  _ and _ disgusting. Who puts taco seasoning on pizza?!”

“Blue,” Fell responded immediately, his back to them as he checked inside the oven. Puce sucked in a deep breath of appreciation; no matter how many times he had Fell’s cooking, it would always be one of his favorite smells. 

“Where’s pops?” Egg asked, letting go of Puce's arm to boost himself onto the counter. Almost before he’d fully sat down, Fell whacked him with his oven mitt. 

“Get off the counter, we are not a family of savages.” When Egg was safely back on the floor, he continued. “Your father got a call from Blue.”

Puce’s head snapped up. 

The edges of Fell’s mouth twitched, but his eyes were filled with none of the annoyance in the expression as he turned his attention to his nephew. “He merely needed to speak with Stretch. I’m fairly certain that, as usual, your parents are not even aware of your sneaking out.” Puce caught the barest ghost of a smile on Fell’s face, and he grinned. 

“I can’t help being the master of espionage!”

“Yes, I’m sure political maneuvering is exactly what was on your mind when you scaled my house this afternoon.” He pointed his mitt at Puce severely, ignoring the way it drooped sadly towards the ground. “You are lucky we enjoy your company, young man, or you’d be stuck with only your own house to break into.”

“Technically, you let me in.” 

“That is beside the point. Go wash you hands for dinner, I’ll not have this kind of sass in my kitchen.”

~~~

“Will you be using the front door?”

Puce glanced up from his phone, realizing that the car had stopped and Fell was watching him. He stuffed it in his pocket, sitting up to see that they were idling by the curb at the end of his street. As always, he’d tried to protest that he he could walk back just as well as he’d walked there, but Fell had given him a Look and grabbed his keys. Leaving Egg with the grueling task of doing the dishes, Fell had gone to his car, leaving Puce with not much choice but just to go along with it and follow. 

Peering down the street, Puce could just barely see that the kitchen light was on. “Nah,” he responded, unbuckling quickly and reaching for the door handle. “I’ll be fine from here.”

Fell nodded, unlocking the doors and putting the car into park. Puce paused. “You...don’t have to wait for--” 

“Walk safely,” Fell interrupted, making no move to drive away. Puce sighed, stepping out of the car and turning to shut the door before he paused, chagrined. “Thank you for driving me, Uncle Fell.” 

“Of course. Thank you for coming over.” A real smile split his sharp teeth. “We love having you.” 

Puce grinned, then shut the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he skipped up onto the sidewalk. Fell’s lights were off, but Puce knew he was still lit by the streetlights; visible the whole way to his front yard. He pulled his headphones up from where they’d been around his neck, settling them over his skull as he started his music. 

_ “Theodosia writes me a letter every day…” _

He hummed along to the music, letting his feet hit the ground to the beat but resisting the urge to step side to side as he went. If it was too obvious he was dancing, he’d never hear the end of it.  His house was only two houses down, so it didn’t take long before car lights flared on behind him, signalling Fell’s departure. He turned to wave, but couldn’t see if Fell returned the gesture. 

Puce restarted the song as he stepped onto his lawn, this time allowing himself to spin as he walked, arms drifting up from his sides as he approached the tree beside the house. He could see the kitchen light still on, but was careful not to get too close. Dad and Blue might not usually notice when he snuck out, but neither of them were stupid or unobservant. He was fairly certain that his face at the window when he was meant to be in his room would likely raise some red flags. 

Despite himself, he glanced through the window as he passed, staying back in the shadows where he was perfectly invisible but still able to see into the kitchen. He wasn't surprised to see Stretch sitting at the kitchen table, butt his face was in his hands and Puce’s parents were sitting across from him. He resisted the urge to edge closer. 

Stretch was shaking his head, rubbing at his sockets. He didn’t look...sad? But his mouth was turned down, and Blue’s eyes were wide, hands moving in front of him as he spoke. Razz, who hadn’t moved much in the time that Puce had been watching, sat up and grabbed Blue’s arm in the same moment that Stretch shot to his feet, leaning over the table to tower over his brother. Puce’s eyes widened in shock. 

He’d  _ never  _ seen his Uncle Stretch look so angry before. 

Razz responded to Stretch’s shouting calmly, one hand clenched on top of the table and the other still gripping Blue’s arm. His eyelights flashed, and Stretch’s chest heaved in anger for a moment before he sat heavily, glaring at his brother. Then he gave a short nod, speaking quickly, and Puce watched as relief flashed through Blue’s eyes. 

Then Stretch glanced towards the window, and Puce realized, in his curiosity, that he had edged much closer the window than he had intended. 

Before he could tell if Stretch had even seen him, Puce spun around, making his way quickly to the tree and jumping to grab the lowest branch. With well-practiced motions, he tugged the rest of his body into the branches, scaling the tree until he reached the branch that brushed its leaves against his half-open bedroom window. 

As soon as his feet touched the carpet, he pulled off his headphones, tossing them onto his bed and tip-toeing towards his bedroom door. He could hear voices downstairs, and recognized those of the adults who had been in the kitchen. Stretch’s was low and angry, and as Puce eased his door open, he was able to make out the words. 

“--never begrudge him that. He’s a kid. An amazing kid, if you would just... if you didn’t know you couldn’t handle it, then why would you take  _ thirteen _ \--”

“Papy,” Blue said, softly. Puce ducked below the view of the kitchen, closing his door silently behind him and making his way to the edge of the stairs, where the conversation came up clearer. Blue sounded like he’d been crying, voice raw. “We didn’t want to quit, we knew that something like this needs someone to stick it out, but I just… I can’t do this anymore, Papy. _We_ can't do this.”

There was a long, uncomfortable silence, and Puce furrowed his brows. What were they--

“I’ll have to talk to Fell about it,” Stretch said. There was the sound of bone against bone, and Puce imagined him rubbing his sockets again. “I’m sure he’ll be okay with it, once he gets over the urge to tear the two of you apart.” Another bout of silence. When he spoke again, his voice was raw. “I’ve thought a lot of things about you over the years, your relationship with him, your apparent lack of one… but I never thought you capable of this.”

Neither of them responded, but chairs scraped, and Puce flattened himself against the wall as he heard footsteps in the living room. Razz spoke, voice quieter than Puce had ever heard it. He strained to hear, squinting at nothing. 

“--love him. I really do, and Blue… he does too. You know better than most that we were never cut out for this, Stretch. With my LV, I could slip in a moment, do something I could never take back.”

“But it was worth the risk while he was small and cute and easy to take care of, was it?” Stretch’s reply was cutting, and Razz didn’t reply, but Puce could picture them glaring at each other, had seen it enough times that it was like a photo in his head. There was a clank from the kitchen, and Puce realized that Blue must have stayed behind. Then Stretch sighed, and he returned his attention to the interaction in the living room. “It’s always been obvious, that the two of you wouldn’t have chosen this for yourselves. Hell, he’s at our place more nights than he’s at yours.”

Were… were they talking about  _ Puce _ ?

“I get your problems. I really do. And I get that you’re married to someone who never found a good reason to be a father, who doesn’t even have his kid call him dad, but…  _ Razz _ … this isn’t…”

“I know.”

Puce stared blankly at the wall, taking in the conversation and half-wishing he hadn’t. 

“I need to talk to Fell,” Stretch sighed. “There won’t be an issue, he loves the kid just as much as I do, but I still just…” 

“Of course. Take your time, Stretch. And…”

“What?”

“Thank you. For… doing what we couldn’t.”

Stretch’s reply was stiff, angry. “You could have. You never bothered to try.”

Then there was the pop of a shortcut, followed by an explosion of breath, and Puce could hear footsteps as his dad went back into the kitchen, the murmur of conversation as he spoke to Blue. He didn’t try to listen in, slumped back against the wall, soul pounding in his throat. 

What...what were they…

_ “I get that you’re married to someone who never found a good reason to be a father--” _

Puce had always kind of… thought that maybe they didn’t want him. That maybe his parents had had him by accident, like he’d learned was possible in his health class earlier that year. It’d been obvious, really, after so many times coming back in the morning and finding out that they hadn’t even noticed he’d left the night before. He’d tried not to let it bother him, but…

“Was this the right thing to do, Razz?”

Blue’s voice echoed up from the bottom of the stairs, and Puce jumped, scrambling up from the floor and backing down the hall, unsure if he was about to be discovered. 

“Should we have… tried longer? Tried harder?” 

The voice moved away, and Puce relaxed as he heard the last sentence, muffled in a way he knew meant Blue’s face was pressed into Razz’s shoulder. It was a common position for his parents, to be wrapped in a hug they never seemed to want to leave. Puce pictured his dad’s eyes flashing into hearts as he looked down at his husband, and he wrapped his arms around himself, sinking to the floor to sit again. 

“I don’t think we should have put it off as long as we did. We just… caused more problems, doing that. Created more of a bond than… any of us really should have had, honestly.”

There’d never been a doubt that Puce’s parents loved each other.

“I don’t  _ want  _ to give, up, I… I want to be a good father! But I just--”

“Blue, you don’t have to justify yourself to me. We both know that once the adoption process is finished, Fell and Stretch will do a far better job raising him than we ever did.”

Puce used to pretend they loved him that much. 

Blue was silent for a long moment, but his breath shuddered. He was crying.  _ He _ was crying. “He… he’s always been more their son than he’s been ours, hasn’t he?”

It’d been a long time since he’d actually believed it, though.

~~~

Egg blinked awake, peering around blearily as his brain attempted to catch up with his body. Something… something had woken him up… but…  _ what _ …?

Then it came again, a hollow tapping noise, and he glanced in the direction of his bedroom window, mock-groaning as he caught sight of Puce balanced carefully on his windowsill. For a split second, he considered just rolling over and pretending that his cousin wasn’t secretly a vampire or something, what the  _ hell _ , Puce…

Then he groaned again, tossing his blankets aside and stumbling to his feet. It took him a moment to make it to the window, caught up in his theatrics as he was, so when he arrived at the window, opening it and looking up to grin at Puce, (“Really, dude, twice in one night, huh?”) it took him a moment to notice the tear stains streaking down his face. Egg’s eyes flew wide, stepping aside to let him hop inside before asking, “Puce, are you--”

Slamming the window closed, Puce spun around and hissed, “ _ Did you know?!” _

“Know… know what?” 

Puce’s shoulders slumped, and he reached up to rub at his good socket, obviously shoving aside more tears. “M-my… I-I guess you wouldn’t know, your d-dad just found out, I think…”

“Dude, what’s wrong?!” Egg asked, none too quietly, and Puce clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Quiet, your parents are probably downstairs… talking about… it.” He slumped again, his hands dropping to sling into his pockets, and he stared down at the carpet. Egg stared down at him for a moment, then grabbed him by the shoulder, guiding him to sit on the recently-vacated bed. As soon as Puce was settled, he was pushing tears out of his sockets, and Egg faltered for a moment before reaching for the glass of water beside his bed, pressing it into Puce’s free hand. 

“Are you okay?”

Puce shook his head, sipping at the water as more tears slipped down his face. 

“Alright,that was a dumb question, I guess.” Egg sat beside him carefully, resisting the urge to sling an arm over his shoulders. Puce hated being touched when he was crying. “So… what happened?”

It took him another moment to answer, staring down at the carpet and turning the glass in his hands. “My… parents don’t…” He sniffed, then put the water back on the nightstand. “You know how Dad and Blue had your dad come over for dinner tonight? To talk to him?”

Egg nodded. 

“Well, I… I heard them? When I got home? A-and… t-they d-d-don’t want m-me.” 

His shoulders started to shake, and Egg dropped to the floor, kneeling in front of Puce so that he could see his face. He’d never seen the other like this before, face scrunched, holding back sobs. They’d grown up together, Puce born when Egg was just shy of two, and it was taking a lot to stop him from hugging his cousin. The knowledge that it would just make it worse for the smaller skeleton was all that was keeping him back. “What do you mean, Puce? Who doesn’t want you?”

“M-my parents!” He sucked in a deep breath, forcing his volume down. “They told your dad they didn’t want to be my parents anymore and that h-he should adopt me instead.”

Eyes narrowing, Egg opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say anything, Puce buried his face in his hands, voice dropping into near-incomprehension as he said, “B-blue said I was already m-more Uncle Stretch’s son a-anyway, and Dad w-wanted to give me up w-way earlier s-so I wouldn’t bond with them!” 

“Did they  _ tell _ you that?” Egg asked angrily, reaching over to grab a box of Kleenexes and setting them in Puce’s lap. How could they say that to him, how did they not know--

“N-no, I just h-heard them talking,” Puce sniffed, pulling out a Kleenex and just kind of holding it, crumpled in one fist as his shoulders slowly stilled, tears slowing to a stop as he stared unseeing at Egg’s shirt. “They d-didnt know I was listening, but they were talking about… adoption papers…” Then his eyes flew wide, flashing up to meet Egg’s. “Uncle Stretch said he was going to ask Fell if it was okay, to take me. What if he doesn’t w-want me either? What will I--”

“Of course he wants you!” Egg hissed, grabbing another Kleenex and practically shoving it into Puce’s eye socket in his effort to help him clean up. “You’re our family!”

Puce reached up, grabbing Egg’s wrist and stilling him in his task. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his face was too still, staring at Egg’s face. “My family didn’t… love me. Why would yours? Why would  _ you _ ? I don’t think…” he dropped his grip at the same time he dropped his gaze. “Stretch said something like… ‘you liked him when he was cute and easy’ and it kind of… makes sense. I’m not really…”

“Yes you are, dorknut. You’re practically a part of our house anyway, y’know? You eat here almost every day and you’re always on our roof or in our tree or something. My dads talk about you all the time, like going grocery shopping for stuff you like and making sure they go to your plays and stuff? And I think Pops put your report card on our fridge. I’m pretty sure he stole it out of Blue’s desk last month. They care about you.  _ I  _ care about you, of course I do! You’re my best friend!” Puce still wasn’t looking at him, and Egg let out a noise of frustration, throwing another Kleenex at him. “Why wouldn’t we want you? We aren’t stupid like Uncle Blue and Uncle Razz.”

Puce glanced up at him, shoving his hands back into his pockets and clenching his jaw like he always did when he was upset. “Are you… are you sure you’d want me to be… part of your family? Like your… brother or whatever? That… that wouldn’t be weird? Or bad?” 

“Puce, I’m pretty sure you already are part of our family. Of course it wouldn’t be bad.”

Sniffling, the smaller watched his face for a moment, probably searching for any falsehood. Egg did his best to look as sincere as he felt, to not give him any reason to doubt him. 

Maybe someday, he wouldn’t have any more reason to doubt. 

“Do you think you’ll share my room with me?” he asked, grinning widely. 

Puce snorted. “Oh, Toriel, I hope not. It always looks like a tornado has come through here.”

“Hey, I’ll have you to clean it for me.”

“Ugh...I take it all back.” 

~~~

Downstairs, Fell’s eyes flashed to the stairs, sighing at the laughter echoing down from Worldslayer’s room. Puce must be back, which meant… 

Ah. 

He turned back to Stretch, sitting beside him on the couch with his head in his hands. His face was flushed with anger and shame, eyes closed, but there was a smile curving the edges of his mouth as they listened to the kids. After a moment, he looked up, meeting Fell’s eyes before he sighed. 

“Do you think he knows?”

“I think he would be at home, asleep, if he didn’t.” Fell paused. “He would have been at his own house, with the people that should have been being his parents, so many nights before this, if didn’t already have a feeling he wasn’t wanted there.”

Stretch sat up, laying a hand over his husband’s. “He wouldn’t be in any state to be laughing now if he didn’t know he was wanted somewhere.” 

Another bout of laughter echoed down the stairs, quickly followed by loud shushing. Fell took a deep breath. 

“How soon did they say we could get ahold of the papers?” 


	128. Look At These Fucking Assholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See if you can figure out which one of these assholes accidentally got based on Ollie

***HellishlyFellish is online**

HellishlyFellish: Blue

***BabyBlue is online**

HellishlyFellish: Asshole

HellishlyFellish: Where is the fucking garlic

BabyBlue: why are you blaming me

HellishlyFellish: Because I know it was you

BabyBlue: I think it was Slim actually

HellishlyFellish: Slim doesn’t fucking cook

BabyBlue: He uh

BabyBlue: lol

BabyBlue: He bakes

HellishlyFellish: Fuck you. 

BabyBlue: I’m taken but i appreciate the sentiment bae

HellishlyFellish: Oh my god

HellishlyFellish: why the fuck would slim take the garlic

HellishlyFellish: Please lets go back to that

BabyBlue: He made garlic bread

HellishlyFellish: well for fucks sake

HellishlyFellish: Slim

HellishlyFellish: Slim

HellishlyFellish: Slim I swear to god

BabyBlue: You’re doing it wrong

BabyBlue: Will the real Slim Shady PLEASE stand up?

***SlimShady is online**

SlimShady: I’m hre Daddy and im stnadign

HellishlyFellish: For fuck’s sake

HellishlyFellish: where is the garlic

SlimShady: thyme 4u to gt a watch

HellishlyFellish: FOR FUCKS SAKE

BabyBlue: wrong spice

SlimShady: o

SlimShady: o yea the garlic is in the left cupboard

SlimShady: daddy

***HellishlyFellish is offline**

BabyBlue: I thought I was the one with that kink

SlimShady: Can we share pls

SlimShady: Daddy can teach you how to share

***TheGreatPapyrus is online**

TheGreatPapyrus: This is the group chat

SlimShady: I knw

BabyBlue: Daddy, please.

TheGreatPapyrus: Please don’t.

TheGreatPapyrus: I mean it.

TheGreatPapyrus: I’m begging you.

BabyBlue: Daddy

TheGreatPapyrus: ST O P

SlimShady: Daddy^2

TheGreatPapyrus: I mean it you two I’m not going to stand here and take this

BabyBlue: You should probably sit down then, only the real slim shady should be standing up right now

SlimShady: Are u here to steal my crown btch

TheGreatPapyrus: I’m not sure you had one in the first place

SlimShady: fk u

BabyBlue: Can’t we all just love each other?

SlimShady: hehehe ehe he

SlimShady: be gentle w me senpai

TheGreatPapyrus: no

SlimShady: okay i cn take it rough

TheGreatPapyrus: NO

***StretchMeOverThe is online**

StretchMeOverThe: I vote yes

StretchMeOverThe: And I vote...brazzers

SlimShady: No one aksed u

SlimShady: Who tf watches brazzers

BabyBlue: Sad people

StretchMeOverThe: You watch your own damn sex tapes Blue

***RazzleDazzle is online**

RazzleDazzle: Hell yes he does

***StretchMeOverThe is offline**

RazzleDazzle: New fucking record bitches

TheGreatPapyrus: Why is your username RazzleDazzle

RazzleDazzle: Why is yours stupid?

***SansyPansy is online**

TheGreatPapyrus: -ly amazing, you forgot that part

SansyPansy: lmao i changed razzs username

SansyPansy: n he cant get it unchanged

SansyPansy: bc I changed his password recovery email to dick@dick.dick

SlimShady: classci

RazzleDazzle: If your ketchup gets a slight almond flavor, just ignore it, it’s normal

SlimShady: Thas the sutpidest way to thraeten poison ever broski

RazzleDazzle: Who the fuck gave you weed I thought I threw it all away

***ReddyOrNot is online**

ReddyOrNot: oh

ReddyOrNot: Sans, how could you?

SansyPansy: eat a dick

ReddyOrNot: sure I’m free at 8

RazzleDazzle: Which one of you was it

***ReddyOrNot is offline**

SlimShady: it wasn’t red that fr shur

SansyPansy: suspicious exit is suspicious amiright lmao

SlimShady: not even high tho

SlimShady: just tpyign wit my feett

BabyBlue: why

SlimShady: bc u summoned me

SlimShady: but my phone ont he ofther side of the cuoch

TheGreatPapyrus: So get up! 

SlimShady: bb u don no me at alll

SlimShady: antwau

SlimShady: snywat

SlimShady: a n y w a y

SansyPansy: havin some trouble there sport

SlimShady: no

SlimShady: stfu

SlimShady: gottago tho i jst made more grlic bread

***HellishlyFellish is online**

SlimShady: dont tll fell tho

SlimShady: oops

***SlimShady is offline**

HellishlyFellish: Would it be a form of fratricide

TheGreatPapyrus: yes

BabyBlue: I mean

BabyBlue: technically it’d be suicide

BabyBlue: if you killed him I mean

* **HellishlyFellish is offline**

TheGreatPapyrus: Blue!

***TheGreatPapyrus is offline**

BabyBlue: hey, i didn’t say I approved! 

RazzleDazzle: I approve

RazzleDazzle: I’ll help

RazzleDazzle: no debate over semantics there

BabyBlue: Razz

RazzleDazzle: what

SansyPansy: hw wanst the dicc

RazzleDazzle: stop

BabyBlue: I mean sure I’ll take a dick

SansyPansy: hell yeah he will

RazzleDazzle: fucking…

SansyPansy: hehehhehe

***RazzleDazzle is offline**

SansyPansy: o shit blue

SansyPansy: just got real

BabyBlue: due to unforseen circumstances ill ttyl sans!

***BabyBlue is offline**

SansyPansy: well shit. 

SansyPansy: why can’t i get laid too

SansyPansy: im alone in the chat

SansyPansy: can anyone else see this

SansyPansy: DICK

***HellishlyFellish is online**

HellishlyFellish: yes we can see it

HellishlyFellish: we all know you’re an idiot

***HellishlyFellish is offline**

SansyPansy: rude

SansyPansy: DICK DIC K IDKC IDKDICIDICKDICKD IDCKC

SansyPansy: my work here is done

***SansyPansy is offline**


	129. Gratuitous Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are you guys talking about I've never angsted even once in my whole life???
> 
> Alright so it's been a while since I posted but there's a reason for that, you guys know Perseverance? The Chapter 100 Special? I'm writing a second book to that, and I decided to write the whole thing before i post any of it. So far I'm 22k words in and not even halfway done so it's gonna be lit. 
> 
> Anyway here's wonderwall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for cheating assholes and no editing done at all, this was written for discord so those * things are supposed to be italics, just use your imagination yeah?

Red let out a pained hiss of breath as his knuckles connected with the wall, bringing the offending hand down to his side and shaking it off, ignoring the barely-splintered bone in favor of whirling to face his husband. Razz was holding his chin high, as usual, but there was a flicker to his eyelights that gave Red a burst of satisfaction. He didn't think he'd ever seen Razz afraid of anyone before, least of all him.

*"How long?"*

Razz's mouth opened, then shut, then opened again, fingers coming up to tug on the hems of his gloves as he said, "Red, I said I was sorry--"

*"HOW FUCKING LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON ME, YOU SELF-ENTITLED ASSHOLE?"*

Hurt flashed through the other's eyes, but Red didn't feel guilty. He didn't care how much he upset Razz, there was no way it could compare to the way that his own soul was clenching in pain, twisting in on himself like it was trying to make everything feel that much worse. 

"Almost a year."

Razz's voice was quiet, but when Red looked up, his chin was still high, and he had steeled his eyelights so they no longer flickered with whatever emotion was left in his LV-cracked soul. God, Red had *believed* in him. He'd wished *so hard*, for himself, for his brother, for this marriage, for everything in the future that he had ever wished for. It'd all seemed possible with someone like Razz by his side, someone unwavering and powerful, who was supposed to be *loyal* beyond all else... His whole world was crashing down around him, and it'd started from the moment he'd swiped to unlock the other's phone. He realized, then, that he was still holding it, his clenched fist shaking around the offending object. 

Opening his hand, he let the phone clatter to the ground, kicking it so that it skittered across the floor towards the other. Razz didn't even glance down, keeping his gaze locked on Red's face. "Red--"

"Get out."

Well, that broke the other's mask. 

Razz's eyes flew wide, and he stepped forward before Red let his magic flare up in warning. It brought him to a stop, but his eyelights were still flickering, and he raised both hands in a gesture of surrender. "Red, please, it's not... I broke it off, I wanted to--"

"I dont give a *shit*!" Red yelled, advancing on the other too suddenly for him to take more than a few steps back. He caught Razz by the shoulders, shaking him once, hard. Razz's hands jumped up to wrap around Red's wrists, but he made no move to remove them, only staring up at him as he made an attempt to make his eyelights go hard again. “I don’t care *what* your excuses are, you fucking…” Red let out a noise of frustration, shoving the other away as he saw the tears coming into his eyes. “Why the hell are you crying?!”

Razz didn’t answer, but his chin wasn’t sitting quite so high anymore, shoulders slumped forward as he reached up to swipe under his eyes. Red narrowed his own eyes, doing his best to ignore the hurt flashing through his own soul. “*You’re* the one that fucked up!”

“I-I’m so…*so sorry*--” Razz breathed out as he reached up to press the palms of his hands to his sockets. Red’s soul flickered in empathy, reaching out to the other before he cut off the feeling abruptly. He didn’t deserve the the chance to spout shitty excuses. Red didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to hear how it was probably his own damn fault, how they’d gotten distant after they got married, how he stayed out late more nights than not. How he probably should have been there for his husband, just as much as Razz should have kept his fucking dick in his pants despite it. 

He *didn’t care*. 

“I mean it,” he said, and his voice came out hollow and angry. “I want you out, I want you gone. I never want to see you again, if I can help it.”

Razz’s shoulders had gone stiff again, but as he lowered his tear-stained fists to clench at his sides, his composure was shaking. He made eye contact with Red for a split second before it dropped, and he opened his mouth again, obviously searching for something to say. 

But there was nothing. 

The half-hearted slam of the door as Razz left did nothing to curb the twisting of Red’s soul. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tempted to post this Perseverance thing as the 150 special. Would you guys rather wait until then and get it all at once or have me start posting chapter by chapter as soon as I finish? Let me know in the comments


	130. Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _WHAT??!!!_ Rottenberry _fluff????????????_ I don't write Rottenberry _fluff!_
> 
> so uh mPreg and yo

“It feels like butterflies.”

Blue made a face, holding his book aside so that he could stare down at his soulmate. Razz was laying half across his lap, head pressed to the swollen stomach Blue carried. There was a half-tilted grin across his face, bright purple eyelights glimmering with mirth as he met Blue’s look. 

“What?” Blue asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know. Razz was constantly doing this stuff. Saying something completely cheesy about the kid,  _ specifically _ to embarrass Blue. He didn’t care if he didn’t blush easily anymore, it just wasn’t fair for the other to use his stupid--

Whew. 

Okay. 

Deep breath. 

“The soul,” Razz said, moving his head so that the side of his face and one of his eyes was hidden by the stomach. “They’re sending out these like… fluttery pulsey things. It feels like that time we went to that butterfly cage, down in San Fransisco? With all the wings and stuff.”

Pursing his mouth in an attempt to avoid making a stupid face, Blue nodded. “Yeah, they do that.” He set his book aside, dropping both hands to cup his stomach. He only kind of resisted flicking Razz as his hand went by. It was a light flick. More of a love tap, really. He was--

“Hey!” Blue exclaimed as Razz pulled away just enough to lift up the bottom of his shirt, immediately following that particular not-entirely-unwelcome invasion with a whole new kind of strange by pressing his entire face up against Blue’s translucent-ish ecto-skin. 

“I really think they’re purple!” he called, voice muffled by probably the weirdest face mask in the world. 

Blue spluttered, trying to push the other off and succeeding only not at all. Razz wrapped his arms around Blue’s waist, clinging on tightly and somehow managing to laugh past the ecto. Huffing in frustration, Blue gave up trying to push him off, instead settling for flicking him again. 

It may have been a bit harder this time. 

“I think that purple you’re seeing might be more wishful thinking than anything. For all you know, they’re red and they just  _ look _ purple through the goop,” Blue supplied helpfully. 

Just as he’d predicted, Razz pulled away specifically to make a face at him. “Don’t call it goop.”

“Why not? It’s pretty goopy.”

“Ugh, Blue--”

“Give it a couple months here and my stomach’s gonna fall apart and there’s gonna be blue goop all over your carpet. It’s gonna be sansational.”

Sometimes it was the most singularly unamused expressions that brought Blue the most joy.

“At least we get something good out of this,” Razz said, sighing with abject longing that made Blue’s mouth twitch up in a smile. 

“What would that be?”

“An end to your weird-ass cravings. If I have to make ‘dessert enchiladas’  _ one more time… _ ”

Razz snickered at his receival of another flick or twelve before burrowing back into the other, pulling Blue’s shirt down over his own head and leaving him looking like he had been growing his child for about thirty years instead of six months.  

God, it was a good thing he loved this nerd or whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked this last chapter, but I want to gather more opinions, I'm writing a sequel to Chapter 100 [(Perseverance)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10955073/chapters/24383145) and I will have it **100% finished** before I publish any of it either way, but would you rather have it as Chapter 150 and get it all at once but have to wait until I get that far in cosos, or would you rather I start publishing it as its own fic, chapter by chapter, as soon as it's done? Again, it would be 100% written, so you wouldn't have to worry about hiatuses or anything.


	131. The Harshest Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God I was gonna edit this but I'm just so tired of having like six tabs open of stuff I need to work on, just take it. This is such a shitty offering to easily one of my absolute _favorite_ pieces I've ever read, [A Subtle Knife](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13188615%20). Don't read this. Go read that (after you check the tags). 
> 
> Twist and BB belong to Kit and if you wanna know more, go read Kit's stuff because Kit is a fucking wonderful writer they wrote the thingy I based this off of so you can just stay over on her account and make it a day.

_ CRASH! _

Twist stepped back from the doorframe, squinting down in consternation at the now-useless slab of wood lying on the ground. Well, shit. He’d only meant to make a bit of a grand entrance. He bent down to pick up the door, laying it carefully against the wall as Blackberry stepped around him into the house. 

“What--”

Looking up in response to the voice, Twist was unsurprised to see Blue standing in the kitchen doorway, staring open-mouthed at the two of them. 

“Oh, sorry about that!” Blackberry chirped, waving a hand. Twist allowed himself a small smirk at the barely-controlled jolt of the motion. “You know how my brother is when he gets upset!” 

Blue looked between them, then at his destroyed door. “What are you doing here?” 

Shrugging, Twist advanced into the room. He touched his brother’s shoulder lightly as he went by, reveling in the look on Blue’s face as he took a step away from him. The little asshole had nothing to worry about from him at the moment, but he wasn’t about to let him know that. “Well, we heard yer a piece ‘a shit so we came ta--”

“Papy!” 

“Sorry, bro.” Twist turned a grin over his shoulder before returning his attention to Blue. “We heard yer a piece ‘a trash. Thought we’d fix a couple things here ‘n there, ya know?” 

Narrowing his eyes, Blue straightened his spine. “Excuse me?!” 

“Consider yerself excused, darlin’.” 

“Where is Razz?” Blackberry demanded, stepping around Twist and lifting his chin to look Blue in the eye. Twist shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets and taking a look around. He caught sight quickly of a lump of orange, slowly sitting up as he rubbed at his sockets in sleepy confusion. A grin split Twist’s face as he crossed the room, nudging aside Stretch’s legs so he could flop down next to him. 

“I don’t know if you’ve  _ noticed _ , Berry? But Razz isn’t dating  _ you _ . So leave him alone, this is getting--” 

Blue’s voice was abruptly cut off with a groan, and Stretch jumped, starting to spin around and look before Twist sat up, reaching over him and picking up the plate of veggies that had been sitting on the side table on Stretch’s other side. He raised the plate like a toasting glass, setting to a stick of celery as he reached into his pocket. 

In front of them, Blue flew across the room, held aloft with magic as Blackberry stomped after him. He yanked open the door of the hall closet. Stretch started to stand. Twist snorted at the expression on Blue’s face, then tugged Stretch back down. “Hey, I’ve got the goods,” he muttered, reaching into the pocket of his hoodie and tossing a plastic bag to Stretch. 

“What is--” 

“Sans made cookies.” 

“ _ Blackberry, stop it--!” _

Stretch glanced up, and both of them watched as Blackberry slammed the closet door closed, tugging a side table in front of the door to prevent it being opened before turning around. For a few seconds, Stretch just stared. Then he sighed, sitting back on the couch and divesting a cookie the size of his face from its plastic bag. 

“Stretch?” 

He looked up, raising a brow at Blackberry. He was wringing his hands, the anger faded from his face as he tilted his head to one side. 

“Do you know where Razz--”

“What is going on down here?” 

Blackberry let out a noise somewhere between a sigh and a groan, spinning around as his face lit up with a huge smile. “Razz!” The sound of his name was more an explosion of relieved breath, and he hurried up the few steps Razz had yet to descend. Before Razz could stop him, Blackberry had caught him around the shoulders, squeezing tightly. “It’s so good to see you!” 

“I-I mean, it’s good to see you too, but--” Razz relaxed into the hold, returning the hug for a moment before he pulled back. There was another thump on the closet door, Blue shouting something unintelligible. Huh. Twist hadn’t  _ seen _ Blackberry gag him. 

Razz’s eyes went wide. “Who’s in the--” 

“Blue!” Blackberry chirped happily, dropping his arms and placing them instead on his own hips. 

Razz’s mouth dropped open, and he jogged down the remaining stairs. “What? Blackberry, you can’t just--” 

“I sure can! I just did!” 

Pausing, Razz looked over his shoulder in bewilderment. Blackberry was descending the stairs more slowly, brows coming together as Razz struggled for words. “Why would you--”

“You don’t deserve this.” 

The two went utterly silent, the quiet disturbed only by the loud  _ crunch _ of Twist still enjoying his stick of celery. Blackberry shot him a look, and Twist shrugged, gesturing at the closet as there was another thump on the door. 

“What do you mean?” 

Razz’s voice was quiet, nearly a whisper. Twist doubted even Blackberry would have heard it if the room hadn’t been so quiet. 

“You don’t deserve him making you feel like any of this is your fault!” Blackberry’s hands had dropped from his sides, wringing together in front of him as he looked at the other. Razz’s hands jumped, curling into the front of his shirt as he looked down at the ground. 

“He doesn’t--” 

“ _ Razz _ .” 

This had to be the smallest Twist had ever seen Razz look. Silently, he set aside his newly acquired plate, sitting forward to listen more carefully. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Stretch, completely still with the cookie still gripped tightly in his hands. 

“He wants what’s best for me,” Razz replied softly, still not looking at Blackberry’s face. “It’s not his fault he got stuck with the fell-verse trash. It’s not his fault I’m broken, and it’s not his fault that I--” 

“You are not  _ trash _ .” If Razz looked small, Blackberry looked huge, anger flashing across his face as he spared a glance at the occupied closet. “If being fell-verse makes you trash, then what is Slim, huh? What am I?” 

Mouth working, Razz finally looked up to meet his eyes. 

“I’m my own special typa garbage but tain’t nothin’ to do with where I come from, Razz,” Twist piped up, drawing both of their eyes. Razz’s eyelights were trembling, and Twist sat back again, content to let his little brother work his magic. 

Razz looked back at Blackberry, passing a hand over his face. “It’s… Blackberry, he loves--” 

“No, Razz. He doesn’t.” 

His eyes were wide, still trembling. They dropped again. “I-I...I know.”

“And you deserve better,” Blackberry said, conviction coloring his voice as he reached out to grasp Razz by the humeri. “You really do. And he deserves to stay right here.” 

Razz’s mouth quirked up into a half-smile. “We can’t just leave him in a closet.” 

“Like heck we can’t!”

Heaving a sigh, Twist stood, reaching down to grip Stretch under the arms. As the other let out a yelp of surprise, he lifted him up from the couch, slinging him over one shoulder before turning to his brother. “Ready to go?” 

“Go?” Razz asked, taking a step back. One hand drifted behind him, settling lightly on the table that was keeping the closet door closed. 

“You’re coming with us,” Blackberry affirmed, giving a precise nod. “Everyone else can feel free to wait for you to realize on your own that you deserve better, but I’m not going to let you stay here and lose everything that makes you yourself.” With that, he let go of Razz’s arms, stepping back and holding out a hand in a clear invitation. “You’re not staying with  _ him _ .” 

Razz hesitated for a moment, and Twist shifted his grip on his load, ignoring Stretch’s protests. The hand on the table lifted, and Razz reached forward to take Blackberry’s hand. His face lit up, and he tugged lightly to guide him into following. 

“What about Blue?” Razz asked, and Twist paused on his way to the open doorway. 

“He’ll be fine in there,” he smirked, reaching out to take Razz’s free hand. “He’s not as afraid ‘a the spiders as he really should be.”


	132. Ships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literal bullshit where I organized every combination of the UT, UF, US, SF, and TF brother ships into categories and then put them in order of how much i like them in those categories. And then found a song for each ship that I thought represented their relationship well (If not the lyrics then just the general feel of the song). 
> 
> I've been using COSOS for self-indulgent bullshit this whole time you shouldn't be surprised I'm doing it now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Within the categories, these are sorted in order of how much I like them. The platonic ships aren't liked less than the romantic ships, and neither are the brotherly ones.   
> The other ones maybe a lil bit lmao

**Romantic**

[ **Rottenberry** (Blue x Razz) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7fzkqLozwA)

[ **Blazzberry** (Razz x Blackberry) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDKWgJGqPhc)

[ **Spicyhoney** (Stretch x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj6Y6JCu-l4)

[ **Classiccherryberry** (Sans x Red x Blue) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnCa71iUVxA)

[ **BerryT3** (Blackberry x Blue x Razz) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5TqNsr6YuQ)

[ **BlueFell** (Blue x Fell x Red) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWFaxs-KvMY)

[ **Edgelord** **Supreme** (Razz x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpJAmlnBxoA)

[ **Cherryberry (Blue x Red)** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCEsveSK5to)

[ **Kustard** (Sans x Red) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCEsveSK5to)

[ **Classicberry** (Sans x Blue) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCclOXqCxA8)

[ **Blackcherry** (Razz x Red) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3vbvF8bQfI)

[ **Edgeberry** (Blue x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTaqcGz2O5o)

[ **Nightshade** (Blue x Blackberry) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdx7gN1UyX0)

[ **Bledgeup** (Red x Sans x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKTcnTaH8d4)

[ **Kedgeup** (Sans x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDq3fNew1rU)

[ **Rottentwist** (Razz x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cPp6WMKVjA)

[ **Twisted Edgelord** (Fell x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kqSj_BKuUc)

[ **Twistard** (Red x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAO5DuqUgLc)

[ **Spicymaple** (Slim x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCX2axvbE4o)

[ **TwistedHoney** (Stretch x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EyiTwVQObc)

 

**Platonic**

[ **Mapleblossom** (Papyrus x Slim) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFkvpWD5toM)

[ **BBQHoney** (Stretch x Slim)  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L01nwZl48Q)

[ **Rottenjoke** (Sans x Razz) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZxHBKojLSs)

[ **Bluetwist** (Blue x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-_OFwFoWDY)

[ **Twistup** (Sans x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCcglvwitUA)

[ **Edgepuff** (Papyrus x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdneKLhsWOQ)

[ **Honeyblossom** (Papyrus x Stretch) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BldYlGqs7pA)

[ **Mustart** (Red x Blackberry)  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YAAyUFL1GQ)

 

**Brotherly**

[ **Swellcest** (Razz x Slim) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHree3Ld5KY)

[ **Twistcest** (Blackberry x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFjryf8zH_M)

[ **Swapcest** (Blue x Stretch) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsaDQJkS9N0)

[ **Fellcest** (Red x Fell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsaDQJkS9N0)

[ **Classic Fontcest** (Sans x Papyrus) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt2k8PGm-TI)

[ **HoneyKetchup** (Sans x Stretch) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O28DJIZkTww)

[ **Papayaberry** (Papyrus x Blue) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O28DJIZkTww)

[ **Spicyhoneyberry** (Fell x Stretch x Blue) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05v4nfUmBYI)

[ **Floofyhoodies** (Slim x Red) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joN23n_e5hk)

[ **Honeymustard** (Stretch x Red) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-xVwxqjNyI)

[ **PastryPuff** (Papyrus x Blackberry)  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek1f0Sb7v70)

[ **MapleKetchup** (Sans x Slim) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG1JY0rt2Os)

[ **MapleTwist** (Slim x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eACohWVwTOc)

[ **HoneyTart** (Stretch x Blackberry)  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5vUBQBykJ4)

 

**None of the Above**

[ **Venomhoney** (Stretch x Razz) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gmXdmKWqlU)

[ **Puppyberry** (Blue x Slim) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpSwLbYJOrI)

[ **SpicyTart** (Fell x Blackberry) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qFF2v8VsaA)

[ **Cherryblossom/Redpuff** (Papyrus x Red) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUKbvkaZF8U)

[ **Poisonpuff** (Papyrus x Razz) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xml336Li6Mo)

[ **Lazytart** (Sans x Blackberry) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYAghEq5Lfw)

[ **Twistpuff** (Papyrus x Twist) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc91EfoBh8A)

[ **Mapletart** (Slim x Blackberry) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-YQqaqPVDE)

[ **Honeymustardberry** (Red x Blue x Stretch) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR9nNrkWgAQ)

 

**Ships I Literally Hate So Much I Couldn’t Find A Fucking Song For Them**

**Spicyhoneymustard** (Red x Fell x Stretch)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot of ships I didn't include that involve people outside of those ten skeletons. If there are some you would like me to add to the list, add them in the comments. If I'm familiar with or have an opinion on them, I'll add them into the rankings and give them songs. This includes any OT3, OT4, etc. If you have a name for it, it can go on the list.


	133. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!!! I hope you all enjoy this. (Spoiler alert) For once I'm writing my angst to have a happy ending. So if you're wondering at the lack of warnings, no, I didn't make a mistake. 
> 
> Sort of a military spouse au

The first time Razz had told him he loved him, Blue had cried. 

It probably hadn’t been the reaction his boyfriend had been expecting, but that’s what had happened. He’d just sat there, curled into Razz’s side on the couch, and sobbed into his own hands. Understandably, Razz had seemed at a loss, trying to apologize before Blue was shaking his head, coming up on his knees and turning to press a hard kiss to his mouth. 

“Are you okay?” Razz’d asked, hands smoothing up and down Blue’s arms, eyelights wavering with uncertainty. 

God, he’d been so happy. He’d barely been able to explain, to get it out that it meant the world for Razz to trust him enough to say those words aloud. It’d been obvious that the feeling was there. Razz had never been the sappy type, but when it came to Blue, he was gentle in a way that made it clear how he’d felt. 

But to put  _ words _ to it. To say,  _ out loud _ , that he loved him? That’d always been Blue’s thing. Quick kisses, lingering hugs, I love you’s murmured under the cover of stars while they lay out in the grass and held tightly to each other’s hands? It’d all been Blue’s thing. To hear it out of Razz’s mouth meant there was no doubt that he meant it. 

To someone like Blue, it was priceless. To anyone who knew Razz, it should have seemed impossible. 

He’d said it again, immediately following the third or fourth kiss Blue had tearfully given him after the first. Then again that night, whispered quietly as Blue was on the edge of sleep. That time, he’d probably thought Blue couldn’t hear him. He’d been testing out the shape of the words in his mouth, arms squeezing carefully around Blue’s smaller form as he whispered it again. 

As impossible as the first time had seemed, the thousands that followed were unbelievable. Murmured quickly in his ear as he hugged him from behind. Called loudly and sarcastically across the living room as the fire alarm rang out in protest of his cooking and Blue laughed so hard he almost couldn’t breathe. Written, once, on the corner of a notebook Blue had been doodling in. He still had that one, tucked away in his nightstand drawer. 

‘I love you.’

It was funny to think about, now. To remember how often he used to hear it, to feel it. How absolutely he’d  _ known _ , even before it was said, that Razz felt it. It’d been easy, to reach out for his hand or plant a kiss on his mouth, when he was only a room away. 

The last time Razz had said that he loved him had also been the first time he’d said it in front of anyone else. Slim had gaped at him for a moment, then choked out a laugh. “Blue, what did you do to him? This can’t possibly be my brother.”

It’d gotten a chuckle out of everyone else, but Razz hadn’t even paused, hugging Blue tightly. Hugging him like he’d never see him again. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Blue had said, and he’d meant it. He’d really, really meant it. 

He still did. 

Razz had always been beautiful, but he was incomparable in his uniform. Deep blue and crisp white contrasting beautifully, golden buttons and pins gleaming in the low light of the airport. He certainly cut an impressive figure, almost had Blue blushing when he pulled away to wink. 

“I’ll see you at Christmas,” he’d promised. 

“You’d better.” Blue had been holding back tears. It’d been unsuccessful, but it was a commendable effort nonetheless. “I’ll need some help getting the lights hung.” 

The last image Blue had ever gotten to hold of the most important person in his life was of him walking away, bag slung over his back and shoulders ramrod straight. He’d committed the sight to memory, vowed never to forget. 

That had been last April. So far, he’d kept that vow. 

Razz opening his soul might have once seemed impossible, but nothing had ever been more unexpected than the sight of Slim in tears. 

It sort of made sense, Blue supposed, that they would call Slim. After all, a call like that would go to the closest living relative, and Slim was Razz’s brother. Blue was just his boyfriend. He supposed he should just be grateful that Slim had known to tell him as soon as he was able to speak. 

Someone like Slim breaking down in the middle of Blue’s living room floor could never possibly be taken as a good thing. Especially when it was followed with a choked-out acronym like ‘MIA’. 

Blue had tried,  _ tried _ to convince himself to have hope. Missing was not the same as gone. It was a field’s length from killed. But as the months passed by, the hope dwindled. Things like memories and carefully written notes ripped from the corners of notebooks were treasured. Every reminder was priceless. Every reminder was painful. 

Christmas passed, and the lights stayed in their box. The celebrations were empty, sitting quietly alone on a couch and listening to his brother and his husband bicker amicably. Feeling Slim sit next to him, carefully placing an arm over his shoulder. 

“Your anniversary is next week, right?” 

He’d nodded, swallowed the lump in his throat. “New Years.”

“How long will that be? Two years?” 

“Three.” It’d come out as a whisper. Slim hadn’t remarked on it. 

“How did it happen?” 

Blue had forced his mouth to quirk into a smile, sipping at his eggnog before he answered. “He kissed me to bring in the year. But he did it almost a whole minute late.” 

“Why?” 

“He said it was because he was going for a dramatic and unique moment, but he was too nervous to--”

“No, why did he...kiss you? Want to kiss you?” 

He’d glanced up, looking at Slim in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

Slim had been silent for a long moment. “He didn’t talk to me much, about feelings at least. Or about you. Probably because I mocked him to no end for how soft he’d gone. But…” He’d taken a deep breath. “Blue, he loved you. And he loved you because of your hope. He loved your… your whole attitude, that tendency you have to believe the best of everything. And I might not know my brother as well as you do anymore, but he wouldn’t want you to lose that because of him.” 

Blue had thought he’d been doing so well, hiding it. 

“He wouldn’t want you to stop being bright.” 

Sometimes, late at night when it was most immediately obvious how alone he truly was, Blue would tell himself that no one could possibly understand. No one could know how it felt, to lose something so infinitely precious. 

It’d been obvious, in that moment, that thoughts like those were wrong. 

So instead of spending New Years alone, of filling what should have been a day of celebration with tears and memories, he’d gone to his brother. Stretch seemed to understand, the moment he saw him on the doorstep, and invited him inside. Fell had picked him up under the arms, threatened to tie him to the couch if he tried to help with dinner. For the first time in almost eight months, Blue had laughed. 

Just for a few hours, he hadn’t felt so alone. 

So it was obviously logical to have called his brother again, for a holiday like this. He hadn’t even asked to come over, or to have company. All he’d done was ask Stretch about his Valentine’s Day plans, and it seemed like less than a split second before Stretch was making plans to have dinner with him instead of--

“No, Papy, I don’t want Fell to--”

“It was Fell’s idea, actually. The restaurants are way too crowded to actually go out, anyway, bro, it’s totally fine! Can you make tacos?” 

He’d sighed, but his soul had swelled. “Of course. Thank you.”

It was common for people to be alone on Valentine’s Day, it seemed. To laugh and joke and groan about it with their friends. Being single, if you were okay with that fact, made the day almost funny. Blue very clearly remembered watching Hallmark movies with Alphys in years long past, loudly mocking everything from the dialogue to the wardrobe choices. 

But this was different. That kind of alone meant a sort of solidarity. That kind of alone meant humor and friends and maybe a few moments of half-hearted loneliness. But this was nothing that might have any modicum of good attached. This kind of alone meant the thought of a celebration meant to focus on love felt like a mockery. 

Blue knew how it felt to be single on Valentine’s Day. But Blue was most certainly not single.  Just alone. 

He’d just finished cooking when the knock came to the door, followed a split second later by Stretch bursting into the house anyway. Just because he’d been forbidden from teleporting directly into the house didn’t mean he had any respect for Blue’s rules. Or privacy. He huffed out a laugh, setting the last bowl on the table before crossing to the kitchen doorway. “Brother, I’m not sure you understand the point of the whole  _ knocking _ thing.” 

Glancing up from where he was kicking the snow off his shoes, Stretch grinned widely. “Hey, bro. Sorry about that, I just--” 

“I swear, if you say you a-door me…” 

He laughed, making his way into the house and sweeping Blue into a tight hug. “Well, when you steal my puns, it just takes all the fun out of it!” 

Sensing his excitement, Blue snorted, pulling back as soon as his feet were again touching the ground. “What has you all riled up? You’d think they invented a way to smoke honey, the way your bones are rattling.” 

“As genius as that idea is,” Stretch said, fighting back his smile. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.” 

“Wha--”

“I can’t spend Valentine’s Day with you.” 

Blue froze, eyes searching through the joy on his brother’s face. Maybe he’d… maybe he hadn’t really understood, like Blue’d thought he had. Stretch had never been cruel, would never say something intended to harm with the intensity that Blue could feel his soul constricting. He especially wouldn’t say it with a smile like that on his face. 

“I… already made dinner.” 

“That’s okay!” came the response, and Blue opened his mouth, then closed it. It was fine, he supposed. Stretch was married, after all. It’d been selfish to expect him to give up his husband on Valentine’s Day to have dinner with his brother. 

“Are you taking Fell somewhere?” he asked quietly, and Stretch shook his head, grin fighting its way back onto his face. 

“Nah. I told you, it’s way too crowded in the restaurants tonight. I’d rather eat in, spend some time with someone I love, wouldn’t you?” 

_ That was the point. _ “Yeah.” Blue couldn’t hold his eyes anymore, looking down at the floor as he swept a hand over the back of his head. “I hope you have fun!” he forced himself to say. He could still probably eat some of the tacos, maybe go to sleep early. It’d be alright. It wasn’t like-- 

“Blue.” 

The single word worked like a cattle prod to the back, sending Blue’s spine straight and his eyes wide. Stretch was grinning at something over his shoulder, and Slim appeared in the corner of Blue’s eye, hands stuffed in his pockets and eyelights brighter than Blue had seen them in months. Nearly ten months, to be exact. 

“You really shouldn’t leave your windows unlocked, Blue!” he said brightly. “It’s not safe!”

He was frozen. Absolutely frozen. He didn’t think he could move if he tried, his name uttered in a voice he knew far too well leaving him unable to do anything but stare up at his brother. 

Slim winked. “Well, I’m afraid I’d best get to my date, bro. Hope you have fun here!” 

If he turned around, he wouldn’t be there. If Blue looked behind him, the hope rising in his chest would crash, and he’d be left alone again. He… he couldn’t be--

The door closed behind Slim and Stretch, and an arm curled around Blue’s waist, pulling him back into a form he’d all but memorized the feel of. One hand rose, scarred phalanges lighting under his chin, and Blue bit back a shaking breath. 

“Blue,” came the voice again, and the grip on his chin tightened, turning his head until his tear-blurred vision was met with the most beautiful shade of purple. 

Spinning around in the hold, Blue wrapped his arms around Razz’s ribcage, burying his face in the place between his shoulder and neck as his chest heaved violently. He could barely breathe through the near-silent sobs, barely held himself upright as Razz stumbled a step back from the force of the hug. 

He felt his arms encircling him in return, kisses pressed to the side of his head before Razz just let his head drop, resting it against the side of Blue’s as they cried. 

“Y-you’re h-h- _ here _ ,” he forced out, voice muffled against Razz’s shoulder. The cloth of his shirt was wet with Blue’s tears, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, couldn’t seem to stop clinging to him like he’d never get the chance to again. 

“I’m here,” he whispered. “Told you I’d see you.” 

“ _ You’re a-alive! _ ” 

Razz’s hold tightened, then released, hands lifting to cup Blue’s wet cheeks, to brush a thumb along the bone as their eyes met. Blue’s hands pressed to his shoulders, his chest, his wrists, unable to believe he was really standing in front of him, unwilling to deny it. 

He was every bit as beautiful as Blue remembered, every bit as warm and solid and scarred. He let himself be pulled in, kissed him hard before tugging away just enough to speak.

“I’ve m-missed you s-so much,” he said against his mouth, breathing him in, memorizing the scent, the feeling of the arms around his back. 

Fingers trailed up his spine, cupping the back of his skull. 

“Blue--” 

“I never stopped h-hoping. I n-never gave up on you. I p-promise.” 

There was silence for a long moment, Razz’s eyes drifting shut and breath coming out in a shaky sigh. “You’re just like I remembered.”

Blue laughed brokenly. 

“I love you so much, Blue,” he murmured. There was a split second of hesitation, then his eyes blinked open. “I could never have stopped.”


	134. Tenacity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little extra blurb from the tenacity world. I know a lot of people wanted Papyrus reactions so here is Slim. I was going to write all four but it just isn't going to happen so if you're interested I can tell people in the comments how the others reacted

The ringing of Razz’s phone had him sitting up carefully, nudging a sleeping Blue off his shoulder to quiet the ringer. Better to let him sleep alone for a few seconds than to let an unattended call wake him from a sleep that had been so hard to find. 

When he saw the called ID, however, he sighed. There would be no ignoring this conversation. Silently, he slipped out from under the sheets, hitting accept as he left the room. 

“Sans, what the fuck were you thinking?!”

Razz winced, easing the door closed behind him before answering. “Hey, Slim. Nice to hear from you, as al--” 

“Don’t give me that shit!” he hissed, and Razz made a face. Unaware, Slim continued. “I just stopped by the house to pick up my stuff and Red and Sans were just sitting on the--” 

“It’s more complicated than just them!” Razz exclaimed, and Slim scoffed. 

“What the hell has gotten into you? I thought the whole point of your kindness bullshit was that you wanted to be better than this! Where the hell would we be if they hadn’t let us stay with them?! Why would--” 

“We’d probably be staying with Papyrus! You’d have certainly liked that, wouldn’t you?”

“At least Papyrus isn’t  _ married _ , you fucking idiot!”

They both went silent, Razz shoulder blades hitting the wall behind him as he passed a hand over his face. He heard Slim sigh, and he closed his eyes. 

“Did they tell you he’s pregnant?” 

Slim was silent for a long time. “No. They didn’t. God, fucking--” his voice stuttered into a disbelieving laugh. “Congrats, bro. You may be a homewrecker but at least you’re fucking fertile.” 

“Slim--” 

“What do you want me to say?” He sounded tired, and Razz pictured his eyelights shrunken in exhaustion, slumped against a wall with one hand shoved in his pocket. “I want to be happy for you. I know you… neither of us thought we’d ever get the chance to…” 

“I know it was the wrong way to go about it,” Razz murmured. 

“Yeah. Just a bit.” 

“But I’ve never… God  _ damn _ it, Slim! I’ve never been so…” He broke off, took a deep breath. “I love him. I love him so much, I’d give him the world if I could! This whole thing, it’s so fucked up, but I have  _ never _ been this happy in my entire life. He’s…  _ fuck _ , Papyrus, I’m going to have a  _ child _ ! How could I be anything but grateful?” 

The silence in response to his declaration stretched out again, followed by another sigh. “You could have some guilt. You could take a look at what you and yours has done here. Then you can talk about your own happiness.” Razz opened his mouth, but Slim kept going, cutting him off. “Consider the apartment yours. I’ll take my name off the lease next week.” 

Fighting past the lump growing in his soul, Razz asked, “Where will you stay?” 

“I’m sure Papyrus has somewhere for me. And if not, I’d rather pay for a hotel. Take a hard look at yourself,  _ m’lord _ . You might not like what you see.” 

The sound of the ended call hit Razz like a blow to the face, and he took a shaky breath in, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

It would all be worth it, he told himself. 

It’d have to be. 


	135. Character questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I answered a bunch of character questions for the four main sanses a while ago and i never finished all the questions but here's the full list and all the answers i did finish  
> also im posting a bunch of chapters in here at once right now because i think im kinda leaving the fandom? so im clearing out all my files

  1. **What do they smell like?**



_ Blue:  _ Coconut and  [ this stuff ](http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/p/mad-about-you-fine-fragrance-mist-022206191.html) and a tiny bit of cilantro and there’s some tobacco smoke hanging around in there if he’s lived with Stretch any time in like the last century. 

_ Razz:  _ Rust, ashes, and strawberries. Y’know. Manly stuff.

_ Red:  _ Cinnamon, Tobacco smoke, and  [ this stuff ](http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/p/alpine-suede-for-men-cologne-022534800.html) ? I think? It’s a cologne I own but I can’t find a bottle that looks the same online.

_ Sans:  _ Minty ketchup. Delicious, right?

 

  1. **What is their voice like?**



_ Blue:  _ Probably something like Thomas Sanders? Like always on the edge of super excited but with that deep edge to it?

_ Razz:  _ Spanish accent, deepish voice, it gets higher and the accent gets stronger when he’s like… excited and angry? Usually it’s pretty slight. Slim is constantly mocking it even though he has the fucking accent too. 

_ Red:  _ The Boston-ish accent. Probably exactly the same way everyone else imagines it, even though I don’t write the slang into my stuff like all the “yer okay?” and stuff. 

_ Sans:  _ Deep as shit east coast american accent. I don’t deviate far from like the comic dub interpretations. 

 

  1. **What is their biggest motivator?**



_ Blue:  _ Spite.

_ Razz:  _ Also spite.

_ Red:  _ Survival.

_ Sans: _ Papyrus.

 

  1. **What is their most embarrassing memory?**



_ Blue:  _ That time he tried human soda for the first time out at Muffet’s with Stretch and he totally wet himself in front of like everyone and he was something like 21 years old so he couldn’t beg any excuses.

_ Razz:  _ Razz exists outside of embarrassment. His life hasn’t exactly been sunshine so for a really long time anything ‘embarrassing’ that happened to him he just got angry at. 

_ Red:  _ Once upon a time there was Red’s asshole little brother, Fell, who went with him to Grillby’s when they were younger and told Grillby that Red was in love with him and then pantsed Red in front of the whole bar and Grillby. Not that there’s much on a skeleton but Fell still thought he was really funny.

_ Sans:  _ Literally any time he thinks about anything that happened in his past he just cringes out of this life. Everything is embarrassing. Why is he like this.

 

  1. **How do they deal with/react to pain?**



_ Blue:  _ “FRICKING STUPID DUMB WHAT THE HECKING FRICK STUPID KNIFE WHAT THE AAAAAAGH” (he’s a drama queen honestly like he’s not even hurt he’s just an asshole)

_ Razz:  _ Lashing out. Pain means he’s being attacked and being attacked means he has to defend himself so hey.

_ Red:  _ It’s like swearing like a sailor? Except to the tenth power.

_ Sans:  _ Cold acceptance, for the most part. Like he gets hurt and just sort of stares at it. “Huh. I’m bleeding. Maybe that’s from the broken arm. Who knows?” 

 

  1. **What do they like to wear?**



_ Blue:  _ He’d wear his scarf and gloves in the shower if he could. He wears his scarf to bed sometimes. Other than that, it’s  _ not _ costume armor. It’s costume  _ shoulder pads  _ (so much better right) that he wears over a gray bulletproof vest and his boots and “workout pants” (they’re sweatpants and as soon as he gets home its the sweatpants with the white T-shirt and his scarf/gloves)

_ Razz:  _ So Razz is a fucking showoff? And he does prefer to wear his armor but as he gets more comfortable without it he still manages to never wear anything but crop tops and short shorts. And there’s a lot of black. And the purple accessories. Fucking diva, s2g.

_ Red:  _ Assorted shitty T-shirts with puns on them with the same fuzzy-hooded jacket he’s owned for like 12 years and then just like basketball shorts and red converse. 

_ Sans:  _ He literally just switches off between a couple pairs of identical basketball shorts and white tank tops with his never-washed blue jacket over top. Pink slippers, hah, you’re lucky if he’s wearing shoes at all. 

 

  1. **Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?**



_ Blue:  _ Probably Alphys. She lied to him for a large portion of his adult life about his chances of joining the guard and making something of his life, but when he finally called her out on it, they set about making something out of it all. She also, before all of that shit, helped him through a lot of mental health shit he’d been dealing with. Stretch just wasn’t able to hit him with the hard truths he needed to go get himself help. 

_ Razz:  _ Blue. Before him, he really had no reason to try to be anything other than the villian he’d let himself become? He had no desire to change for the better until Blue helped him realized that that’s what he wanted.

_ Red:  _ His relationship with his brother. Red and Fell have the strongest brotherly relationship out of the four and it really shows. Even if it left them a little co-dependent after leaving Underfell, they both have someone they can trust unconditionally and they never really doubt that.

_ Sans:  _ I don’t know if it would be Papyrus or Red, honestly. Papyrus was the only thing that kept him going for years but Red is the one that made him want to live for himself. 

 

  1. **What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?**



_ Blue:  _ He ate a bug on a dare and it was like a really  _ big _ bug and it was super gross and like went all juicy in his mouth he threw up it was great.

_ Razz:  _ He’s super picky so probably like… a hot dog. He doesn’t eat anything that he’s not  _ sure _ he’ll like. Fuck trying new things, new things are for people without refined taste buds.

_ Red:  _ “a dick lolololol” -Red 2kXX

_ Sans:  _ Papyrus had a brief affair with French cuisine and made Sans try frogs legs. That was...interesting.

 

  1. **Describe the way that they sleep.**



_ Blue:  _ He starts out the night all curled up in a little ball and his breathing’s all soft and he looks like a little doll, he’s so small and cute and then throughout the night he fucking throws his body around and kicks the blankets and ends up with like his fuckin head on the floor and one leg is straight up in the air and Blue how did you get your hand shoved through your brother’s ulna and radius you don’t even sleep in the same  _ house _ \--

_ Razz:  _ He slept on his back with one arm across his chest and the other under his pillow so he could summon a construct without anyone noticing if he was ambushed in his sleep. Except then he started sharing a bed with Blue. So now he sleeps sprawled out across the bed on his stomach with Blue fuckin pinned underneath him because if he does anything else the blanket gets fucking sent into the next dimension and blue is like halfway through his ribcage and Jesus Christ you two how did you end up on the kitchen counter what is going on??

_ Red:  _ He has that magical combination of eardrum-shattering snoring and pillow-soaking drooling. It’s absolutely graceful.

_ Sans:  _ He just kind of conks out however and whenever. Standing up? Yep. Upside down in a trap? Like every other day. In the bathtub? Lol good luck getting him to bathe. At least he stays still and doesn’t fucking snore like a NASA rocket,  _ Red _ .

 

  1. **What is their favorite food/kind of food?**



_ Blue:  _ Tacos but then also caramel milkshakes

_ Razz:  _ Enchiladas but then also green apple jolly ranchers and chicken nuggets

_ Red:  _ Mustard but then also macaroni and cheese but only the kind with shells

_ Sans:  _ Ketchup but then also grilled cheese and tomato soup

 

  1. **What do they feel most insecure about?**



_ Blue:  _ His size and young/naive appearance

_ Razz:  _ His temperament? Anger issues? Why can’t I get a handle on my emotions this shouldn’t be this hard? I’ve fucking killed people too why don’t we just…...never talk about that either thanks

_ Red:  _ His LV

_ Sans:  _ The way he raised Papyrus, he wanted to give him a better childhood but couldn’t. 

 

  1. **How do they like to dress?**



_ Blue:  _ Light, airy, flowy, roomy, but always cover his neck tightly

_ Razz:  _ He prefers to not be. Dressed, I mean.

_ Red:  _ He’s like an onion. Layers.

_ Sans:  _ Just like never change his clothes. Same thing every day.

 

  1. **How do they react to feelings of guilt?**



_ Blue:  _ Lol what guilt let’s just……...shove that off to deal with later (never)

_ Razz:  _ Usually either get angry or just kind of curl up in a corner and stare at a wall.

_ Red:  _ Finds someone to talk to about it, usually Fell since he understands better than anyone else possibly could.

_ Sans:  _ Wallow in it. Think about it until it completely destroys him. It’ll be fine. Let’s think about it some more.

 

  1. **How do they react to/deal with betrayal?**



_ Blue:  _ Crying, loud yelling and heartbroken sobbing. It’s like the one thing you can’t come back from with Blue. He’ll forgive almost anything but like cheating or other stuff like that.

_ Razz:  _ He kind of just lets it go. I might just be thinking in terms of cheating but I could absolutely see him hating it but not feeling like he has any right to be upset. He deserves it, after all, right?.

_ Red:  _ Slammed doors and furious yelling, but he would never hurt anyone involved. He’d cry, absolutely, but it wouldn’t be until he’s either alone or alone with his brother.

_ Sans:  _ He completely withdraws. He just leaves, right in the middle of the conversation, shows up at his brother’s house and falls asleep on the couch.

 

  1. **What is their greatest achievement?**



_ Blue:  _ Stretch’s childhood. Things started going a bit wrong in Stretch’s late teens/early adulthood, but until then, Blue was able to care for his brother and raise him in a way that made him proud.

_ Razz:  _ Overcoming what is essentially a mental handicap, learning to recognize and respond to his emotions despite his LV being in the way.

_ Red:  _ Keeping his brother safe until he got old enough to protect himself. If he has a child, everything that kid does builds onto Red’s pride as well. 

_ Sans:  _ Making it through the resets, probably? Or raising Papyrus, I’m not sure which. 

 

  1. **What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?**



_ Blue:  _ He’s the cute kind of sleepy with the oversized sweaters and cup of camomile tea/coffee depending on the goal, yawning adorably, etc, but then also secretly planning your imminent murder somewhere in his mind.

_ Razz:  _ Lol the better question would be “hey does Razz ever actually sleep?”

_ Red:  _ He tends to run until he crashes because he doesn’t like being asleep, he gets a lot of nightmares. At the ends of those runs it is highly advised to just not engage. Don’t even talk to him. Watch out, he bites.

_ Sans: _ Grump. Ball of grump. But then also so much crying? Everyone is confused but no one more than Sans.

 

  1. **What are they like when they’re drunk?**



_ Blue:  _ “Hey let’s go rob a 7-11 but like only rob them of all their taquitos, and then we can climb up onto the roof of the bar with our taquitos and I can strip while you throw the taquitos at me like they’re dollar bills, it’ll be fun, look I found a tutu that’s going on my head, hey look, dancing! Let’s go do that, it’ll be great, I could probably stri--”

_ Razz:  _ “Did you know that I once murdered a lot of innocent people? Sometimes I cry about that. Most of the time. Right now, for instance. Lol. Hey, I’m gonna go stand in the middle of the dance floor and if someone asks, I’m dancing.”

_ Red:  _ “Wow lol sex jokes are HARD hahahahahahahahaha hey is this couch built for two people, and you two are sitting here? I hope you don’t mind that I’ve already joined you without actually ever asking. Here, cuddle with me, my coat’s real soft, no, no, it’s not even weird, I’m gay and everything, don’t even worry about it, c’mere--”

_ Sans:  _ “HELL YES LETS PARTY WOOOOO!” while sitting on a couch. Is asleep five minutes later. Probably tried to hug everyone first, though. 

 

  1. **What kind of music do they enjoy?**



Hi so I project a lot for my headcanons, so for their favorites I tend to use my own music. Enjoy that. Hopefully I’ll remember to come back and add links to these songs.

_ Blue:  _ Electronic stuff, remixes. Some of his favorite songs are  [ I Like Me Better by Lauv ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7fzkqLozwA) , [ Badman (Torro Torro Remix) by Autoerotique & Max Styler ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG84v8ljRfc) , [ Like I Would by Zayn ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTaqcGz2O5o) ,  [ Lost & Found by Embody ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GitsHgBDl4c) ,  [ Lights Down Low by MAX ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-xVwxqjNyI) ,  [ Party Favors by Tinashe ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5wY1bQn2A0) , [ Fools by Troye Sivan ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfD96yRT8cs) ,  [ Bom Bidi Bom by Nick Jonas and Nicki Minaj ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVfuwkPL5hg) and  [ Call on Me by Eric Prydz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UknCBaEt38k) .   

_ Razz:  _ Spanish pop music, heavy bass lines. Favorites are [ Come My Way by PLVTINUM ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4vSO3prHDw) ,  [ Mi Gente by J Balvin ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnJ6LuUFpMo) ,  [ Wait For It from Hamilton ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReTP6x_sDiM) ,  [ Watch Me by Jaden Smith ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAO5DuqUgLc) ,  [ Slow Hands by Niall Horan ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBmNcLBaPUE) ,  [ Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing by Set It Off ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJkj3DgW8Y0) , [ Despacito ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whwe0KD_rGw) , the stripped version of [ Eyes Closed by Halsey ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joN23n_e5hk) ,  [ The Greatest by Sia ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKSRyLdjsPA) , and  [ For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0F2hqlV8-N8) . 

_ Red:  _ Tells people it’s pop punk but, even though he does like that, Ed Sheeran is his all-time favorite musician and he knows every song. Favorite songs are [ Shape of You ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dK2tDK9grQ) , [ Grade 8 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajNOOwkwdF8) ,  [ Thinking Out Loud ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA) , and  [ Runaway ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfWiseeZ-M8) , all by Ed Sheeran.  [ Walls Could Talk by Halsey ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBV3YFf76ow) is another one that’s up there,  [ Death of a Bachelor ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R03cqGg40GU) and  [ LA Devotee ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvCdA8CasKI) by Panic! At The Disco, and  [ Just One Yesterday ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJqL-UHQuP8) and  [ Young and Menace ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZMG5-FWIgc) by Fall Out Boy. 

_ Sans: _ Absolutely fucking anything. If it’s music, there’s a good bet he’ll listen to it. Some faves are  [ One Hit Wonder by Timeflies ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QGrSLe0HWs) ,  [ Devil in Me by Halsey ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR9nNrkWgAQ) ,  [ Ink by Coldplay ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKM15TaKLUI) ,  [ Sloppy Seconds by Watsky, ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCEsveSK5to) and  [ Please Don’t Go by Joel Adams ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx7lbPE7Hpk) . 

 

  1. **Are they right or left handed?**



They’re all left handed.

 

  1. **Fears?**



_ Blue:  _ Abandonment, Failure.

_ Razz:  _ Betraying or harming someone he loves. 

_ Red:  _ The death of his brother.

_ Sans:  _ The Resets.

 

  1. **Favorite kind of weather?**



_ Blue:  _ Summertime sadness. When it’s raining but somehow also sunny so everything is really warm you’re just really wet.

_ Razz:  _ Huge snowstorm blizzards that you can stare out the window in awe at and then go out the next morning and step in a snow drift and sink up to your face.

_ Red:  _ When there’s snow, but everything is totally and completely calm and still. No wind, no snowfall, just last night’s snow on the ground and a silent forest around him.

_ Sans:  _ Literally anything except rain, would 10/10 fight the rain if he could.

 

  1. **Favorite color?**



_ Blue:  _ Blue

_ Razz:  _ Blue

_ Red:  _ Green

_ Sans:  _ Orange

10 points to the person to correctly guess why these are lmao

 

  1. **Do they collect anything?**



_ Blue:  _ They’re not toys, Papyrus. They’re  _ action figures. _

_ Razz:  _ Lingerie. 

_ Red:  _ He collected rocks as a kid, but he has no idea where that collection went. The only surviving piece of it is the pet rock.

_ Sans:  _ Socks, because he’s a fucking  _ nerd _

 

  1. **Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?**



_ Blue:  _ Hot

_ Razz:  _ Hot

_ Red:  _ Cold

_ Sans:  _ Cold

 

  1. **What is their eye color?**



_ Blue:  _ Light Blue

_ Razz:  _ Purple

_ Red:  _ Red

_ Sans:  _ Blue

 

  1. **What is their race/ethnicity?**



If we’re talking overtale, we’re apparently gonna ignore the fact that they’re identical alternates completely. Don’t even worry about it. 

_ Blue:  _ White

_ Razz:  _ Spanish

_ Red:  _ African American

_ Sans:  _ Mixed

 

  1. **Hair color?**



Again, overtale. Also, some of the headcanons for this one came across in a discussion with Fresh about genderbent overtale? So yeah.

_ Blue:  _ [ This ](https://data.whicdn.com/images/218736179/large.jpg) because of course he would go with the brightest possible color.

_ Razz:  _ [ This ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/a8/30/d0/a830d0d6b202e3d5b764188d31655637.jpg) because Razz is just generally fucking gorgeous.

_ Red:  _ [ This ](http://www.hergivenhair.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/red-twist-out-curly-coily-natural-hair-color.jpg) because when he went to get it dyed the last thing Fell told him before he went into the salon was “make sure you don’t get it too bright, we need to make sure we can still blend in to our surroundings.”  

_ Sans:  _ [ This ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c9/ee/f1/c9eef14e7a52ab48ee1e514d292a88f8--midnight-blue-hair-ombre-blue-balayage.jpg) because he started out with black/really dark brown hair and  _ fuck _ bleaching it enough to get real color. 

 

  1. **Are they happy where they are currently?**



_ Blue:  _ He’s borderline. He’s holding it together but there are a few too many nights spent staring at a blank wall wondering what he’s come to and why he’s so exhausted all the time. 

_ Razz:  _ He’s pretty good. The guilt gets to him sometimes and he has quite a few regrets, but in general, he’s okay. 

_ Red:  _ Yes. He’s not perfect, but he is happy. It’s a theme in his life, and he wouldn’t ask for anything more. 

_ Sans:  _ For the most part. There’s still nightmares, there’s still fear, but just like Red, happiness is a theme in his life.  

 

  1. **Are they a morning person?**



_ Blue:  _ That’s what he’d like you to think. He’s forced himself to be a morning person but he sets his alarm clock half an hour early so that he can hit snooze like six times before he actually has to get up. 

_ Razz:  _ Hell yes. He’ll go to bed at 8:30 just for an excuse to get up at 4am. He watches the sunrise and drinks coffee that’s more Blue’s creamer than actual coffee, then goes inside and washes the cup and fills it with black coffee and leaves it on the counter so everyone can see that he would  _ never  _ have cream in his coffee, what’s wrong with you people?

_ Red:  _ Absolutely fucking not. But he drags his ass downstairs anyway out of habit.

_ Sans:  _ I’m like 90% sure he hasn’t even been awake to experience a morning in like six years. 

 

  1. **Sunrise or sunset?**



_ Blue:  _ Sunset

_ Razz:  _ Sunrise

_ Red:  _ Sunrise

_ Sans: _ Sunset

 

  1. **Are they more messy or more organized?**



_ Blue:  _ Organized. 

_ Razz:  _ Organized to the point of  _ oh my god Razz will you fucking stop rearranging the magazines they’re supposed to be artfully tilted. _

_ Red:  _ Naturally messy? But Fell is pretty aggressive in his cleaning expectations so Red generally has his shit together, just out of habit. 

_ Sans: _ I think everyone in this fandom knows the answer to this one. 

 

  1. **Pet peeves?**



_ Blue:  _ People chewing with their mouth open or like loud slurping on soup or drinks (see Stretch with Any Honey Bottle Ever)

_ Razz:  _ Semantic-based annoyances. Using literally wrong or when it’s just not necessary (wow this is like literally a spoon), pronouncing milk “malk”, the phrase “I could care less” (oh yeah then how much less could you care bc if its a lot then that phrase maKES NO SENSE IN CONTEXT BITCH), etc etc. He’s bilingual so it probably has something to do with having to learn English as a second language (FUCK THAT). 

_ Red:  _ Redundant hashtags. #me #summer #lol #selfie He basically just wants to die every time Blue posts a selfie anywhere. 

_ Sans: _ When people say they don’t “see” the obvious visible difference between people because they want to sound inclusive but that’s actually bullshit. (i.e. “I don’t see color/race!” “fuck you, yes you do, you’re not blind”)

 

  1. **Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?**



_ Blue:  _ He keeps Stretch’s baby blanket. In some versions I have his scarf as the baby blanket? But usually it’s something he keeps in a box on the top shelf of his closet and would honestly save that instead of a pet if there was a house fire. 

_ Razz:  _ His scarf. Slim actually made if for him, when he was really little. He found this ripped-to-hell piece of cloth that was the same color as Razz’s magic and he’d just “learned” how to sew like in school or from gerson or something and then presented his big cool brother with what he thought was a super kick-ass piece of clothing and Razz was like “.......wow. Gee, thanks, I’ll just……..keep this forever.” but then he actually does, even when he’s in the thick of his LV and he’s forgotten where he got it, he keeps on wearing it. 

_ Red:  _ His coat. 10/10 would stab someone if they breathed on it wrong, even though he really hasn’t washed it in a while and it kind of smells like mustard and cigarettes. 

_ Sans: _ Fun fact, Sans is the only one who had a truly kind and fatherly Gaster. So he has a photo from years ago of Gaster, he, and Papyrus in his wallet that’s all bent around the edges from being looked at a lot. 

 

  1. **Least favorite food?**



_ Blue:  _ Lmao Stretch’s cooking. That man could light boiling water on fire. Blue hears the phrase “Hey I’m making dinner” and wow would you look at that I totally forgot I had plans  _ hahahahaha _

_ Razz:  _ Kale. Fuck kale. Fuck your kale chips, Blue. Fuck even the sight of that leafy fucking  _ bullshit _ .

_ Red:  _ Will eat  _ anything. _ Keep a really good eye on your fingers.  

_ Sans:  _ Honey buns? That sort of… sticky, sweet, pastry sort of thing. So cinnamon rolls are on the list too, stuff like that. 

 

  1. **Least favorite color?**



_ Blue:  _ Yellow. It’s jarring, and too many of the shades are just gross. I might be projecting onto Blue a bit here.

_ Razz:  _ Red. Unless, of course, its got enough blue mixed in to  _ just _ be called purple because that’s what color his magic and scarf and shit is. But like… bright, pure red, he is just not a fan. I reminds him too much of blood (#fake edgy)

_ Red:  _ White? And only by virtue of “ _ It’s not even a fucking color what the hell?” _

_ Sans:  _ I don’t think he? Has one? Color is fine. He likes bright and warm colors more than cool ones. 

 

  1. **Least favorite smell?**



_ Blue:  _ Vomit-typa stuff. Expelled magic, I suppose it would be called. He can’t handle it, and he hates throwing up. 

_ Razz:  _ You know when you walk into Abercrombie & Fitch and your nostrils light on fire? 

_ Red:  _ That tangy, rusty sorta smell that you get with a lot of blood or like old metal. 

_ Sans:  _

 

  1. **When was the last time they cried?**



_ Blue:  _ Probably within the last week. He’s not ashamed, and it’s more of a therapeutic thing than anything else. He doesn’t tend to cry in the moment of a bad thing, just after when he’s thinking about the bad thing. It’s a quiet sort of thing. Unless he’s uh...lookin’ for pity points. He’ll cry then too. 

_ Razz:  _ When he gets panic attacks there’s two types, and one is the lashy-out type and the other is sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around his legs and these heaving sobs just shaking his whole body. The second type is getting more and more common these days. He’s learning to prefer it to the other type, though.

_ Red:  _ Uh,  _ never _ . Men don’t  _ cry _ , bitch. (He watched Titanic last night and it was like niagra falls)

_ Sans:  _ Sans isn’t much of a crier. He doesn’t remember the last time he cried for real. 

 

  1. **Were they with anybody the last time they cried?**



_ Blue:  _ No, he doesn’t let himself cry in front of people for real unless they walk in on him. If that happens he’s really clingy and he’s always ashamed of it later. 

_ Razz:  _ Yeah, he woke up in the middle of the night and was mid-panic attack and it woke Blue up and Blue helped bring him down from it. Those kind of panic attacks are always followed by a lot of silent tears but Blue wiped them all away and stayed up until Razz fell back to sleep. 

_ Red:  _ Yes, he was being mocked by Fell because that’s who he was watching Titanic with. 

_ Sans:  _ He’s not sure, it was probably when he was a child. 

 

  1. **Tell us about one of the times they got injured?**



_ Blue:  _ Okay so get this shit, this fucking idiot was like “hey stars are cool yknow what im gonna do im gonna go sit on the roof in the middle of february to watch the stars” and he fuckin fell off the damn roof because it was  _ February _ and there was snow, i s2g. 

_ Razz:  _ He nicked himself while he was chopping stuff making dinner, and he looked up at Blue and went “I don’t know how I feel about cutting-edge advancements these days” and Blue smacked him. 

_ Red:  _ There was this one time where he was trying to make a sort of machine gun from magic constructs? Just for funsies, yknow? It may have exploded a little bit. 

_ Sans:  _ He trips over his feet a lot and falls out of… well, couch. 

 

  1. **Do they have any scars?**



**Warning** for self-harm mentions

_ Blue:  _ He has holes on the inside of his ribcage on his spine, so they’re impossible to see at all, and those are from Gaster. Depending on the story/universe he sometimes also has scars on his neck and wrists/arms from various things but that’s really dependent on the specific story. 

_ Razz:  _ Oh god yeah. Again, specifics vary from story to story, but the Big Common ones are the eye socket scars, one of which almost goes into his mouth but not quite, then he has lashing scars all over his back, like the back of his ribcage is just  _ fucked _ , almost entirely scar tissue (and scars like that, in my headcanons, have the magic color in them like how human scars turn red? So his whole back is pretty much purple.). Then he’s got scars from Gaster, those same holes Blue has, all down his spine, but they’re pretty uniform so it’s easy to mistake them as being natural. He’s got your general “I’m from a fellverse” scars, old broken bones and bruises and such, especially on his arms, and then the front of his ribcage has a lot of unexplained, uniform scars, all lined up in rows. He won’t tell anyone what they’re from, not even Slim. 

_ Red:  _ Mostly just your general fellverse beaten-up scars, but he has a crack wrapping from the top of his head down to one side of his skull, and his femurs have a lot of evidence of self-harm. 

_ Sans:  _ He has one, just on the inside of one ulna. He had a brief affair with self-harm that he mostly filled with things that didn’t leave physical scars, but there is just that one. 

 

*****41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?**

_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they have any bad habits?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Why might someone dislike them?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Why might someone love them?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they believe in ghosts?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Are they romantically interested in anyone?**



_ Blue:  _ Yes, Razz. 

_ Razz:  _ Yes, Blue.

_ Red:  _ Yes, Sans.

_ Sans:  _ Yes, Red. 

 

  1. **Are they dating/married to anyone?**



_ Blue:  _ Perpetually dating Razz in a sense. I have a headcanon where if a monster is soul bonded to someone but they aren’t married they’re referred to as soulmates, and Blue and Razz skipped marriage altogether and just do life how they do it. It’s mostly because of the general disapproval on both sides that follows their relationship. They don’t need anything so public and formal as marriage for them and everyone else to know exactly who they’re spending the rest of their lives with, though. 

_ Razz:  _ Uh… ^^^ Soulmates with Blue!

_ Red:  _ Married to Sans. 

_ Sans:  _ Married to Red. These two are they type that once they’re married they’re never breaking up. No divorce here, we’ll be the 95 year old couple in the nursing home holding hands in our wheelchairs. 

 

  1. **Do they like surprises?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **When is their birthday?**



If we’re going the “they all have the same birthday” route, they’re all on May 24th. I don’t have a real reason so don’t ask me man. 

 

  1. **How do they usually celebrate their birthday?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they have any family?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Are they close to their family?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What is their MBTI type?**



_ Blue:  _ ESTP

_ Razz:  _ ENTJ

_ Red:  _ ISFJ

_ Sans:  _ INFP

 

  1. **What is their zodiac sign?**



If we’re going the “they all have the same birthday” route, they’re all are Geminis according to my headcanon of their birthdays being on May 24th. 

 

  1. **What Hogwarts House would they be in?** (I’m including Ilvermory as well because Hogwarts houses are the qualities of your own that you hold and value but Ilvermory houses define how you use those qualities)



_ Blue:  _ Slytherin Wampus

_ Razz:  _ Gryffindor Wampus

_ Red:  _ Gryffindor Pukwudgie

_ Sans:  _ Hufflepuff Thunderbird

 

  1. **What D &D alignment are they?**



_ Blue:  _ Chaotic Neutral

_ Razz:  _ Lawful Neutral? He was hard to place. He’d have been Neutral Evil before meeting the others and coming off his LV binge.

_ Red:  _ Chaotic Good

_ Sans:  _ Neutral Good

 

  1. **Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What are their views on death?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **When bored, how do they pass time?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they enjoy being outside?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they have an accent?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red _ : He doesn't even see it, it's already in his mouth. 

_ Sans:  _ If it's in his house he knows better than to touch it. That shit belongs to Papyrus.

 

  1. **If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **How do they feel about sex?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _ “Why don’t you feel me and we’ll find out?”

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What is their sexuality?**



_ Blue:  _ Bisexual

_ Razz:  _ Gay

_ Red:  _ Lmao Grade A Straight of course (He’s fucking pansexual he’s full of shit)

_ Sans:  _ Demihomosexual

 

  1. **Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Is there anything that they find really gross?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they enjoy helping people?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Are they allergic to anything?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they have a pet?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **How patient are they?**



_ Blue: _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans:  _

 

  1. **Are they good at cooking?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **How do they act when they’re particularly happy?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Are they trustworthy?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans:  _

 

  1. **Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they exercise regularly?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz: _

_ Red: _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Are they comfortable with the way they look?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What kind of personalities do they find attractive?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they like sweet foods?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What is their age?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?**



They’re all short but in order from tallest to shortest it goes Red, Sans, Razz, Blue. 

 

  1. **Do they wear glasses or contacts?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Do they consider themselves attractive?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What is their sense of humor like?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What mood are they most often in?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What kinds of things anger them?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Outlook on life?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What kind of things make them sad/depressed?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What is their greatest weakness?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **What is the greatest strength?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Something that they regret?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Biggest accomplishment?**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 

  1. **Create your own!**



_ Blue:  _

_ Razz:  _

_ Red:  _

_ Sans: _

 


	136. Unfinished Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright so at this point im mostly out of the fandom. I'm not marking this collection, Lorelei, and Taste of Silver, Taste of Gold as being done or abandoned because those I could maybe see myself adding to and continuing. However, at this point I would pretty much consider me leaving. I have a [new project](http://witsyo.tumblr.com) that I'm working on that is loosely Undertale-related? It's kind of human-au rottenberry? But at this point im really only using the names, it doesn't have a lot to do with actual undertale im just attached to those two characters. But hey you should check it out anyway!
> 
> But with that, I thought it would be best to create a chapter of all the projects that I have summaries for but won't ever finish, especially the ones that are full stories on their own. Most of them are more fleshed out than an adoptable should be, but you're still welcome to adopt and write them. Just make sure you credit me and tell me about it so I can see!

**Forbidden** **\- Edgelord Supreme and Blazzberry**

__

Start out with a sex scene to Bring On The Views, Razz is at home maybe going at a punching bag to work out frustration? And Fell shows up and he’s in heat and they Sex. Something rough and angry and abrupt to really drive home how relationships are considered in this world. Maybe something along the lines of him opening the door and realizing whats going on and “Lieutenant, I have told you time and time again that you need to go elsewhere to fulfill these heats. I’m your captain, not your slampiece.” “does it look like I give a fuck?” and like aggressively shoves into the house. Make it clear that it isn’t rape, its an inconvenience. Power bottom or something. Maybe Razz doesn’t bother to finish? Fell does and stops to take a breather but Razz is fine and shoves him off and “get the fuck out of my house. I expect you at work tomorrow.” 

 

Razz and Fell out in the forest, tracking someone down or something? They’re investigating something or another and then they get ambushed, and razz manages to get them out of there, but only barely and fell is unconscious and he passes out. Wake up on a strange couch and sees fell slumped on the floor then bb appears with like a bowl of soup or something and razz coughs and sits up and bb brightens up “hello!” “where the hell--” “you passed out! Im glad i found you, or someone much worst might have!” and he sets the soup down and razz is staring at him and finally “You’re that sweet-piece. The one that bakes the cakes they sell in town, right?” bb’s mouth tightens. “I’m not a sweet-piece.” razz looks him up and down and finds himself very much doubting that, there’s not a mark on him, but he takes the soup and allows the healing magic to work through him, then fell wakes up. Bb moves to help him sit up but fell recognizes him and snatches his hand back with a sneer. Bb just kind of sighs and sits back, then smiles brightly. “You seem to be healing well! You should be able to go home once you eat!” “I’m not eating anything you--” “Lieutenant!” and Fell looks up at Razz with a bowl of soup in his hands. “Eat. Consider that a command. You need to be in top shape.” and jesus emma you were going to do short summaries. Basically Fell knows that BB is a “Dreamer” lets use that as a slur for people who are romantic at heart and he’s real against that and as soon as he and Razz are out of the house he informs him none too gently about it. Razz makes a face and glances back at the house like it has a disease. 

 

Razz is trying to Do His Job but then asshole #1 comes along and ruins it. In other words, twist gets arrested. He gets dragged to Razz, maybe by Red? Who’s a sentry. “Caught ‘im doing something or another illegal idfk” and dumps him there. Razz doles out some Cruel and Unusual punishment, grips him by the jaw after and tilts his head back. “Tell the spider bitch to keep her business out of my jurisdiction.” “I don’t work for the spider bitch anymore, or i wouldn’t be here, darlin’” and like twist is still infuriatingly unchanged despite having just had the shit kicked out of him. Razz is still #pissed though bc funsies and he goes to throw him in a cell and Twists like “aw, but i got shit to do.” “im sure you know how it works. Pay a bail and you’re free to walk the streets.” “gimme a phone and ill be sure to call my brother right off, get your little bribe paid.” and razz resents that admittedly true insinuation but lets him call his brother anyway and bb shows up and razz is like “ _ you _ ” “me!” and he says it so brightly that razz is at a loss for words for a second. BB pulls a giant wad of cash out of his pocket and tosses it on the table “where is my brother?” and razz is impressed by a spark of something hard in his eyes and he lets twist out and like threatens him with death but twist just blows him a kiss and they leave.

 

There’s some kind of rule where you can challenge captaincy every six months or something like that and it’s Time and fell kind of surprise attacks Razz but he takes him down but its totally fine they’re not mad about it or anything. Razz injured Fell pretty bad though so he calls Red to take him home and while Red is there being an asshole Razz accidentally learns that they don’t have any food in the house “Why?!” “Mind your own fucking business!!” and then they’re gone and Razz is left flabbergasted. Swearing under his breath he like grabs his shit and storms to the store and gets groceries for them and while he’s doing that he comes across BB at the bakery counter and bb asks what he’s doing and he’s like “my stupid-ass lieutenant is indisposed and required assistance” and bb lights up “that’s so kind of you” “what the fuck no im not like you.” “....like me?” “I’m not a  _ Dreamer _ .” and bb goes a lil blank and narrows his eyes. “What do you know about me? What do you know about Dreamers?” or something idfk basically bb blows Razz out of the water and he’s left weirdly impressed and intrigued. 

 

Razz Angrily goes to Fell’s house and Angrily makes him dinner and Angrily shoves it down his stupid throat all while Red stands in the background and makes fun of his brother. Red does something stupid at the end and like winks and asks razz if he wants to stay the night and razz shoots him but like its fine it didn’t kill him or anything. Then he leaves and walks the long way home to think about things and his feet take him to BB’s house and he hesitates, then goes up and knocks. Twist answers the door, shitpost ensues, and eventually BB manhandles him away so he can talk to Razz. There some sort of… almost fluff? Idk like razz doesn’t admit to being curious about what bb said but it’s obvious he is and BB makes a proposition to meet somewhere and razz “i can’t be seen with a dreamer” and bb just looks at him so tiredly, then reaches over and grabs a pen and then tells razz to take off his glove. He does and bb grabs his hand and writes his number on it and then shoves the hand back. “When you’re ready to associate yourself with the likes of me, you can give me a call” and shuts the door in his face. Razz is left standing there with one glove held in his hand and the other still on and a lifetime worth of confusion. 

 

He’s been pacing with his phone in his hand and eventually works up to call bb. He answers with something adorable, of course, and razz ruins the moment by being like “what the fuck was that” and bb hangs up on him. He stares at the phone again, then calls back, and bb says the same adorable answering words? But in a tone that could kill a man, and razz bursts out laughing. Bbs like “do you even know what you want to know from me?” and razz kind of checks the room to see if its empty and then “no. nothing.” “well this is a delightful and informative conversation.” “oh….shut up.” and he sits down and  rings his hands for a second then “what is it like?” “what is what like?” “dreaming.” “as poetic as that is, im a bit of an insomniac. I dont do much dreaming.” and razz snorts, but can’t bring himself to elaborate and instead is like “you bake, right?” “I do.” “Is it difficult?” “It depends on your experience.” “I cook when i have the time” “that’s a start” silence “would you like to learn?” and razz swallows then “yes.” 

 

Fell tries to invite Razz to something Manly and Platonic but Razz says he has plans and fell’s like “what plans loser” but razz avoids the question and manages to leave work without being followed and goes to BB’s. they bake and talk and Razz finds himself beginning to get a case of the Gays. after it all they’ve successfully baked something, and bb asks if he’d like to learn more and after some hesitation razz says yes. 

 

Maybe inject a chapter in here to break things up. Maybe Twist bullshit? Some kind of shovel talk or asking why he’s doing this shit and razz doesn’t have a satisfactory answer and at one point twist threatens him and razz is like “im captain of the royal guard you can’t threaten me” and twist just laughs. During this chapter would be a good opportunity to expand on exactly why razz has to maintain his social standing to maintain his position as captain.

 

The baking has become a regular thing and bb and razz are friends but this particular time he goes over he can smell something going on and it takes him a second but then he realizes bb is in heat? And razz is like “oh okay” and kind of like… its not so aggressive as it would be with fell, or anyone else, he isn’t an idiot and knows that bb is a dreamer and wouldn’t want that but like it’s a heat right of course he’s going to offer help and he’s having a difficult time understanding that the answer is no until bb blue magics him into a wall and shouts it at him. 

 

Fell comes over to Razz’s house while Razz is attempting to bake a big batch of something maybe cookies? And its not directly stated that they’re for BB but like he’s trying really hard to get them perfect and Fell is like “what the fuck are you doing?” and they have a conversation about the Guard or something while Razz is perfecting these cookies. 

 

Razz goes to take his cookies to bb, apology cookies, and knocks on the door. He’s expecting Twist to answer the door because its the time he’s usually home from work but BB opens the door. Before he can say anything razz shoves the cookies into his hand “I’m sorry.” “What?!” “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have… I should have listened” etc and basically bb forgives him but its because of the apology not because of the cookies because the cookies are fine but yo razz just  _ apologized _ ??? He invites him in and they talk and stuff and watch a movie or something and eat the cookies which honestly don’t taste great and Razz offhandedly is like “well let me cook for you sometime, im actually good at that” and bb is like “I’d like that” and quirked up smile and razz ends up falling asleep on the couch. They should be almond cookies so bb is partially hesitant to eat them but razz has no idea and thinks they're BB’s favorite.

 

Razz wakes up in a panic because what if someone sees him? What if they see he’s been at a dreamer’s house all night? If anyone sees that hes at bb's and they know the others preferences then theyll think that hes like him and razz cant be like him he has far too much to lose. BB slept on the other side of the couch and wakes up while Razz is scrambling around and asks him what he’s doing and razz bursts out with like “i cant be seen with you” bullshit and bb looks a little hurt and razz notices and is like “no, no, that’s not what i… I don’t care what you do or how you live, but if anyone sees me here they’ll think I--” and BB just smiles “at least eat breakfast before you go?” and razz hesitates, then gives in but bb poisoned it with a paralyzing agent and catches him when he slumps over. He takes him to the couch and sets him down and razz is inwardly terrified but bb just puts his head on his lap and is like “If you live your life afraid of what people think of you, you’ll never get anywhere. The poison will wear off in less than an hour. Relax, okay? Just take a minute to relax.” and razz actually listens? Maybe adjust this part slightly. 

 

Wow look now its razz’s turn to go into heat and he does so at work and fell is side-eyeing him and eventually corners him in a back room and starts trying to Sex but Razz is kind of realizing he doesnt want to so he shoves Fell off and Fell gets mad but razz just leaves work and theres some kind of body thing where like he’s thinking about the control he has over it and how he doesn’t need to? Have angry sex? Wow what a revelation, Razz, good job. But like he kind of feels, for some weird reason, like he’d be disappointing BB? He doesn’t know why it feels like it’d be better of him to not do it but he’s really realizing that even something like a heat doesn’t have to control him. His feet carry him to BB’s house and BB opens the door and seems to immediately catch on and takes a step back but Razz holds up his hands kinda pleadingly “Can I stay with you for tonight?”

 

It’s the next day and Razz isn’t at BB’s anymore but he’s happy so like you can pretty much tell that nothing bad happened. Fell comes in and he’s confused about what Razz did during his heat and he’s like “who did you go off and fuck” in an almost congratulatory kind of way and razz is like “wouldn’t you like to know. Get back to work” and fell is trying to push it but then they get a call about an assault somewhere in town and Razz walks past Fell to start going to investigate and Fell like grabs his ass or something and Razz spins around and decks him. Fell just laughs and they go to take care of the assault. 

 

Surprise! It was a hate crime! BB is severely injured! Razz is holding his panic in but like fuck justice and dusts most of the monsters on the spot. He calls medical help and when Fell is like “what the fuck is wrong with you” he makes him go take the other assaulters to prison and he’s left alone with BB and he picks him up and starts walking to meet the medical people and he’s inwardly Freaking Out. Somehow he finds BB’s phone and he calls Twist on it and Twist shortcuts to get them and tries to just take BB home but Razz won’t let go of him so Twist just takes them both home and sets about healing his brother. Razz says something about getting healers and Twist just shakes his head. “They won’t treat him and you know it.” and Razz goes quiet, just watching, smoothing his hand up and down BB’s arm. 

 

BB wakes up and Razz is very happy and confession ensues and they probably Kiss and Twist comes in on the tail end of it and shitposts or something. I dont want to write this one out in too much detail because if i let myself go ill never stop this is the Key Part. 

 

_End of Arc 1?_

 

It’s 1am so i won’t write the whole arc two but basically the beginning is like fell questioning razz and razz refusing to answer and there’s scenes of razz adjusting to being with bb and realizing he’s a dreamer too and he’s okay with that when he’s just with bb. Then Slim was maybe up in the capital for some reason? Come up with some reason why he was gone but then he’s back and razz is excited but inwardly because he is Tough and they are out and about and see bb and bb greets razz pretty enthusiastically but razz barely spares him a glance bc he’s still gotta keep up that Front. Later bb is upset but razz explains his reasoning and bb gives him? Kind of an ultimatum? Not full on “choose your reputation or me” but like “we’re both going to end up hurt if we continue this” sorta thing and razz gets to the point where he wants to Come Out? I think? And he probably starts with Slim and I kind of want Slim’s reaction to be “wait bb like twists brother?” “yeah” “omfg this is hilarious” bc he knows twist and thinks he’s funny so its amusing to him and he’s like “u gotta bring me over” and basically that confession goes well and gives Razz confidence and Fell finds out? Indirectly? He’s like “hey so u been spending a lot of time with that dreamer” prolly expecting razz to deny it but razz just Turmoil then “yes i have” and they get to the point in the conversation where he admits to also being a dreamer and fell does not react well and somehow it like? I need to figure out an actual ending for this but maybe like fell involves the queen somehow? If i wanna go super dramatic maybe he plants evidence of treason on razz because he wants him out of his position because he doesn’t respect him any more? You could bring in that stuff earlier with them not having food and reveal that they’re struggling for money or something, Fell has it hard and that’s why he’s an asshole, man. Think on all this more but basically have some societal condemnation on razz and bb and like some part where people are Angry and Razz pulls BB into his side and flares his magic. “Don’t you forget for a second that you’re speaking to the captain of the royal guard, i could have you choking on your own dust within seconds” or something equally violent like basically he stands up for bb but again, idk what the ending will be or if he stays captain or if the treason thing happens then razz would probably show up at their house in a panic like “i gotta go” and twist’s like “welp we comin’ with ya” and razz is like “no” and bb is like “fight me of course we’re coming with you.” and they all run away together and maybe slim comes too idfk it’s 1:30 im tired.

 

* * *

 

 

**Fifty G**

Razz is a prostitute, but like enjoys his job its not a noncon thing. His favorite customer is Blue, and he’s trying not to fall in love and doing an all-around shitty job of it. Blue always pays extra to stick around for a little extra and Razz has learned a shit-ton about his life. Blue is a college student, and his little brother is too but is engaged. Blue’s roommate is Blackberry. I think probably Red and Fell both work at the brothel too and one night the three of them go out on the town and they go to Muffet’s bakery and Razz ends up alone somehow and gets assaulted by an old customer, who has evil on their mind. He does get injured but before anything truly awful happens someone gets in the middle of it and shoves the person off and stuff, they ask if Razz is okay but before he can respond he loses consiousness. He wakes up in the back room of the bakery and is really freaked out but his savior is there and is like “hey, are you okay” and razz asks them who they are and they say they’re Muffet’s assistant and razz goes to stand up but is still injured and swears under his breath. Im thinking maybe revise that and have him be kicked out of his job or something similar, he has nowhere to stay or something like that. Anyway so bb introduces himself and razz recognizes the name but right then the door bursts open and blue comes bouncing in talking really excitedly about something or another and then he recognizes Razz and is super concerned, asks him what he’s doing here. Razz just comes to a full stop for a second and bb explains what happened and blue’s like “why were you out alone” and razz swallows and “I got fired” and Blue understands because they’ve talked about what happens when you get fired and stuff and bb is like “how do you know each other anyway” and blue kind of hesitates then “He’s my… boy? Friend? Boyfriend?” he’s looking at Razz questioningly and razz kind of nods, he doesn’t care what blue calls him his fucking leg hurts. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend!” and bb is really excited-seeming and blue laughs uncomfortably and goes to walk towards him and bb grabs him by the shoulder “I’m sure you’d like help getting him home, right, Blue?” and blue gives him a Look but Razz interupts “I don’t really have a place to get taken to, but thanks. I’ve...got a little bit of money, I’m sure I can get to a hotel just fine on my own.” and blue and bb are kind of glaring at each other challengingly and bb goes “well if you’re blue’s boyfriend im sure he wouldn’t mind you staying at our house, would he?” and razz is kind of confused but blue shakes bb off and turns to razz “If you’d be okay with that, we have plenty of room.” and wow i can’t write short summaries basically they take him home and there’s like this whole thing with blue taking him home without bb and razz is vaguely afraid he’s going to take advantage of his newly free favorite whore but blue just shows him his own room and tells razz he can stay there until they get it sorted out and razz is like “i-im fine with the couch” and blue just “nah, i’ll stay on the couch.” and furrows his brow as he realizes what razz meant “I’m not going to take advantage of you. Im sure you’ve had enough of that in your life. I know I’m just a customer, Razz, but you don’t deserve that. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need until you… find your brother? I’d assume that’d be your next step. Just as long as you’re here, don’t eat anything blackberry cooks unless you see him eat some of it first.” And among shenanigans Razz looks for slim. It doesn’t take very long before the relationship with Blue becomes something real and there’s like a scene where Razz is escalating things and Blue holds him back and Razz kind of freezes, of course blue wouldn’t want to do something with real meaning with his old  _ whore _ , but Blue is actually like “don’t think you have to do this. You don’t owe me anything for the...room and board, or whatever. God, i can’t belive im this pathetic, but ive cared about you for a really long time, like really cared. You’re amazing, but im just the lonely guy who paid you for sex for almost a year. You don’t have to do this” and they have a rational adult discussion about it and come to the conclusion that everyone is okay with fucking and so they do so. The next morning razz is eating downstairs while bb makes his own breakfast and blue comes skipping downstairs and smooches razz’s cheek or something lame like that and bb makes a casual comment like “hey we should invest in sound-proofing” or “never took you for a screamer, roomie” or something then winks and goes to work or class and blue and razz are flirting and razz gets a call from the PI Blue’s dad hired because both Blue and BB are rich college white boys and they tracked down slim and they celebrate then go to meet slim because razz asks if blue can come with him and blue says yes of course. But turns out slim’s not so happy to see razz because how could he be proud of his whore of a brother or some stupid shit like that or something and razz gets his heart stomped on and somehow it comes out that slim’s dating someone with money to take care of him and they ask who or something and somehow they find out it’s Twist and blue is like “Wait, Twist like BB’s brother Twist” and yup

 

* * *

 

 

**warnings for abortion**

** Choice   
**

“I’m pregna--”

“ _ What?!” _

There was something like a flash of relief through Blue’s eyes at the tone, and his shoulders relaxed under Razz’s grip. 

Joy

“I...I dont want to…”

“To what?”

“I can’t have this baby, Razz.”

Step back. “...Why?”

Reasons. Blue looks very lost as he’s giving them unsure of himself. 

“I… would ask you to… I won’t tell you what to do, Blue. I’m not the one that would have to go through the pain. But if I can, I would ask you to… to keep it? W-we can give them up for adoption, I’m sure  _ someone _ \--” blue looks unsure or something. “B-but you know that I’ll support you. No matter what. I can’t tell you what to…” clench hands. “If you’re  _ sure _ . If you’re  _ absolutely sure _ . I’ll stand by you, whatever decision you make.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Metallic**

 

**1-800-273-8255 - Logic**

“Razz.” 

Blue’s hissed voice combined with a shake of his shoulder had Razz blinking awake, turning over to see the other’s worried face within inches of his own. He sighed, reaching up to rub his face as he propped himself up on his elbows. “What?” 

“I can hear someone walking down the hallway.” 

He shot up to sit, alertness spiking through him as Blue flinched back to avoid getting clocked in the face. “Where are they now?” 

“I can’t tell. Can you check on Puce while I look downstairs?” 

Razz nodded, throwing back the blankets and standing quickly. Blue took the time to open the closet, grabbing a sweatshirt to throw over himself, but Razz didn’t bother. A bone construct formed in his hand, creating harsh shadows on individual ribs. 

Creeping down the hall, he couldn’t hear a thing. In fact, the silence seemed to be pressing in on him from every side. It felt like witching hour, the whole world frozen. 

The door to Puce’s room opened without a sound, and Razz peeked through the crack in the door, tensing immediately as he caught sight of a shadow looming over the child’s bed. He almost burst into the room, grip on the construct tightening incrementally before he heard a soft voice through the silence. 

“Hey, sweetheart. C’mere...shhh, shhh… don’t wake up, it’s okay… just me, just me.” 

Razz closed his eyes, expelling a silent breath of frustration. The voice was all too familiar, and though he knew who it really belonged to, only the cadence kept him from doing a double-take. 

There was a creak as the shadow settled into the only chair in the room, something held close to his chest. The figure whispered again, but Razz couldn’t make out what he said, finally letting the construct dissolve as he stepped into the room. 

“You need to stop doing this.” 

Silver looked up, eyes flashing as he tightened his hold on Puce. The sleeping child shifted, nuzzling into the soft cloth of Silver’s dress shirt. “I’m not hurting anything. I didn’t even wake him up.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Razz murmured, leaning against the doorway. “You scared the shit out of us both. I could’ve killed you.” 

“I’d like to see you try, Razzmatazz.” 

He huffed, shifting his jaw as he watched the other’s protective hold on his child. “Blue doesn’t like you doing this.” 

“Doing what?” 

“Trying to commandeer our parenting.” 

Silver snorted. “Then he should’ve known better than to bring me back to your world.” His hold shifted, one hand smoothing along Puce’s tiny skull. “Especially when the kid’s just about the only thing keeping me in it.” 

His hard gaze met Razz’s, and his eyes closed for a moment before he straightened up, crossing the room and holding his arms out for Puce. Silver just tightened his hold, glaring harshly up at him. “Why don’t you go tell Blue that your house didn’t get broken into. Puce’ll be fine with me.” 

“I’m not sure he’d still be here when I got back if I left you alone with him,” Razz murmured, keeping his arms out determinedly. “You can see him any time you’d like when it’s not some unholy hour of the morning.” 

Silver raised a brow. “What’s so different about the time?” 

“I don’t trust you when you’re like this.” 

“Like what?” 

Razz sighed, finally leaning down and gently easing Puce from Silver’s arms before straightening up. He looked down to make eye contact, and Silver could only hold it for a moment before his eyes dropped, knees drawn up to his chest.

“When you can’t look me in the eyes, Silver.” 

There was silence for a long moment, and Razz crossed the room to lay the toddler back into bed. He began the motions of drawing the blankets back up when there was a soft voice from behind him. “They’re the same color.” 

He looked over his shoulder to see Silver staring down at the ground, eyes all but empty. “What?” 

“Your eyes. They’re the same--” He drew in a deep breath, then let go of his legs, looking back up at Razz. “Can I sit here? I won’t touch him.”

They looked at each other for a long moment, then Razz let out a soft breath, finishing tucking in a sleeping Puce as he replied. 

“Go home, Silver. Come back in the morning.”

 

**Anywhere - Rita Ora**

“Ohhhhh my god. Oh my goooddddd, oh my  _ GOD _ ” 

Gold laughed aloud, leaning back against the seat of the motorcycle and winking. “Isn’t it great?” 

Eyes dialated to nearly fill his sockets, Silver looked from one end of the vehicle to the other. He took a step forward, then one back. “This is for me?!” 

“Of course. And you know the best part?” 

Silver looked up, a disbelieving look on his face like he wasn’t sure there could be anything  _ better _ about--

“I got a child seat for the back. Y’know. So it’s easier to kidnap Puce every once in a while.” 

“ _ Babe! _ ” Silver’s excited screech echoed in the near-empty garage, and Gold laughed as the other dove into his arms. 

“Careful, you’ll knock over the--” His warning was cut off abruptly as Silver smashed their mouths together, following the kiss with a tight hug. 

“I love you  _ so much _ !” 

 

**Champion - FOB**

Silver sat up slowly, brushing dust from his arms as he stared down at the ground. Blue glanced at Razz, his hold on the back of Puce’s head not loosening even as the child began to struggle. He couldn’t let him see what had happened, couldn’t let him…  _ watch _ … 

Razz’s eyes were filled with tears, blood up to his elbows and dust caked to his fingers. Blue could see his chest heaving, and his soul ached to go to him. He held on tight to Puce. 

A strangled gasp broke into the air as Silver fell back to sit. There was a look on his face that Blue had no idea how to even  _ begin _ to describe. His fingers were twitching, one hand pressed to his face as his back tensed. 

Almost before Blue could move, Silver dove to one side, gun jumping into his hands and soul appearing outside his chest with a  _ ping! _ Blue let out a cry of warning, but Razz already had Silver by the wrists, thumbs hitting his pressure points and forcing him to drop the weapon. 

Silver sobbed, yanking his arms back into his chest. Razz swore quietly, making a grab for the gun and winning, managing to toss it away from them, out of reach. He ducked, dodging a swing from Silver before grabbing him by the shoulders. 

“Stop it! Stop, he would not want--” 

“ _ How the fuck would you know?! _ ” Silver screamed, shoving Razz off him. Despite his words, his soul faded back into his chest, the effort of keeping it summoned apparently too much for the broken skeleton. “ _ You stand there, with h-his fucking f-fa-- _ ” 

Blue stepped forward, falling to his knees and finally loosening his grip on his toddler’s head. Silver’s sentence stuttered to a stop as the child was passed into his arms, shoulders still shaking with his sobs even as he was wrapping his arms around his small body. 

Reaching up to wipe at Silver’s face, Puce’s confused voice reached them all easily. 

“Why are you crying?”

 

**Cheap Thrills - Sia**

“Take a deep breath in.” 

Puce obeyed, sighting along the top of the barrel as he’d been taught. 

“Now let it out.” 

Silver’s voice was quiet, hand coming up to nudge the gun slightly to one side. Puce let the breath out slowly, forcing himself to keep both eyes open despite the instinct to close one. 

“Fire.” 

Almost on automatic, Puce’s finger tightened, squeezing the trigger. The gun let off a  _ BANG _ , bucking in his hands and making him gasp. He managed to control his reaction, memory kicking in as Silver’s bright laughter rang out from just beside him. 

“That was great!” He exclaimed, holding out his hand for the pistol and grinning widely at Puce. “I don’t think you hit anything, but we’ll work on aim!”

Puce grinned, handing over his gun and doing a little dance. “I knew I’d get it!” 

“Of course you did,” Silver snorted. “I told you, you’re a natural.” With one hand, he popped out the clip, handing the empty pistol back to Puce as he weighed the clip in one hand. Puce laughed. 

“What are you doing? You already know how many bullets are left!” 

“Showing off,” Silver shot back with a grin. “Want to see how many of these I can get through the middle?” 

“What, with your hands?” 

“No-- you doof, give me my gun and then I’ll shoot things. I swear, you’d think you were a child.” 

Puce raised a brow as he handed back the weapon. “I’m eight.” 

“Yes. You are correct.” Silver popped the clip back in. “Let’s see if I can get a bullseye for every year you’ve been alive, hey?” 

“I’ll bet you don’t own enough bullets for how long you’ve been alive.” 

Silver narrowed his eyes, dropping his stance to glare down at Puce. “Have your parents ever told you you’re a punk?” 

 

**Gold - Imagine Dragons**

The engine had barely shut off before Silver was jumping from the seat of his motorcycle, jogging up the steps and throwing open the door without knocking. The wood made a loud  _ thunk _ as it connected with the wall behind it, but he ignored the noise, continuing into the house as he tossed his helmet on the couch. 

“ _ Blue! _ ” he roared, hands clenching at his sides as he forced himself not to pull his gun from it’s holster. 

Something shifted above him, followed by the  _ thumpthumpthump _ of someone descending the stairs. Silver looked up to see Puce coming around the corner, looking at him in mounting confusion. “What are you--” 

“Where’s your father?” he snapped, forcing himself to ignore the hurt look on his face. He was so angry, his hands were shaking, and if he did a damn thing to hurt the kid--

He forced himself to stop thinking about it, taking a deep breath. It helped a little, but not enough to stop him wanting to smash Blue into tiny pieces. 

“H-he’s outside,” Puce responded in a small voice, shoving his hands in his pockets. “What’s wrong?” 

Silver took a deep breath. Puce was utterly undeserving, both of his own anger and the bullshit of his parents. He closed his eyes. Then he stepped forward, reaching under the hem of his shirt to unholster his gun. Puce let out a small noise, and Silver opened his eyes to see the other looking at him in horror. That, the sight of fear in Puce’s eyes as he looked at  _ him _ … 

That, more than anything else, forced calm through his LV-ridden soul. 

He shifted his grip on the weapon, stepping forward again and holding it out by the barrel. “Don’t let me have this for a little while. I need to talk to Blue.” 

Puce’s expression faded into relief, and then confusion, eyes dropping to the gun. “Why--” 

“Take it from me. I don’t want to do anything that I’m going to regret.” 

With hesitation halting his hands, Puce took the gun, holding it as he’d been taught and still staring up at Silver in confusion. “What would you regret?” 

Silver shifted his jaw. “Upsetting you.” Then he stepped back, rolling his shoulders and breathing in deeply. “Outside, you said?”

 

**I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - ZAYN**

Blue trailed his fingers along the cold metal of the gun in his hands, bumping along the gold engraving along the barrel. It was heavier than he might have expected, but when he wrapped his hand around the handle, it felt as though it was melding with the bone. A part of him, if not an extension. He’d only ever seen guns before, never really having the desire to hold one, nor the necessity. He didn’t need a gun, nor did any monster. 

Silver seemed to love the thing, attaching it quite literally to his hip, name carved into the side with all the care of a professional. Hell, maybe it was professional. Hadn’t he said it was a gift? 

He might not understand why the other carried it, but he knew it was special. This gun had been by Silver’s side for as long as Blue had known him, had been an extension of who he was just as much as Gold had been an extension of everything he seemed to want. Everything he seemed to need, everything he had to… to live for. 

Blue’s hold on the weapon loosened as tears gathered in his eyes, and gentle hands grasped his wrists. Looking up, he made eye contact with Razz, purple eyelights flashing with the same grief Blue could feel arcing through his soul. 

“What are we going to do?” Blue whispered, and Razz sighed, closing his eyes briefly before looking over his shoulder. Blue followed the gaze, taking in the sight of a sleeping Silver curled up on the bed, Puce held tightly in his arms. 

“Blue,” Razz murmured, and he returned his attention to his husband. “You know that… that even if we took that, even if he didn’t get it back, he’d still…” 

“Determined bastard,” Blue whispered, but his voice cracked, grip re-tightening on the gun.

Razz shifted his jaw, the grief in his eyes intensifying. “We’re not going to be able to stop him. He was… Gold was his whole world, you know that. I-I think I’d be in the same boat, if something happened to--” 

“Stop it.” He drew back, glaring without any venom in the expression. “You have a son. Don’t you even  _ pretend _ \--” His voice cut off in a choke, and he turned his head away. 

“He’s in pain, Blue.” Razz’s voice was soft, but Blue still refused to look at him. He could feel his soul roiling at the mere  _ thought _ , and… well, he could understand the point. Hands settled on his humeri as Razz continued. “He doesn’t think he’s ever going to be out of pain, and for all intents and purposes, he has nothing left to live for.” 

Blue’s eyes flicked back to his sleeping alternate, swallowing hard as he finally allowed himself to think what he’d been holding back for the past few days. 

“He loves Puce, doesn’t he?” 

“Yes.” Razz’s voice brokered no hesitation. “But I hope you’re not suggesting leaving our son with--” 

“What if we brought Silver back with us?”

 

**Obsession (Acoustic) - ViCE**

“Where are you guys?” 

Silver waved a hand, indicating Gold to stop talking as he tilted his head into the phone. “Why do you care?”

The huff of Blue’s voice came through the speaker, and Silver stifled a snort. He glanced up as he heard a shriek of joy from Puce, allowing a smile to tilt up his mouth as he watched him play. 

“You have my child!” 

“I have your  _ child _ ?” Silver exclaimed, and Gold snickered, then stood. Puce had his face pressed to the clear plastic of a weird-looking rocketship, and Gold set about making faces at him until he was giggling helplessly. “I don’t know who you think I am.”

Blue growled, and Silver finally laughed aloud. Unamused, Blue pressed on. “Where are you guys?!” 

“McDonald’s.” 

“Which McDonald’s?” 

Gold was climbing up the jungle gym, having kicked his boots off in a pile at the bottom of the toys. Silver watched him go with a soft smile, and the sound of Puce shrieking in delight soon followed. 

“The one across from the Taco Bell.” 

“That doesn’t help.” 

“It’s somewhere in northwest Portland.” 

There was a long moment of silence from the phone, and Silver continued keeping an eye on his husband and the somewhat-stolen child. 

“Why the hell are you and my child a state and a half away?”

“Why do you care?” 

“ _ It’s my child! _ ”

Silver snorted. “Sure he is.” 

“What does that even--”

The voice was cut off abruptly as Silver ended the call, toeing off his boots before standing and making his way to the toys. No way was he letting Gold have all the fun without him. 

 

**Walls Could Talk - Halsey**

“How many security guards were on shift when you were scoping?” Silver asked, pulling his gun from the holster and checking the clip for about the ninetieth time. 

Watching him, Gold forced back a sigh of amusement. A construct formed in his hand as he peeked around the corner, and, upon finding the hallway ahead to be empty, he turned back to his husband. “Three. Why are you so nervous about this hit?” 

“Nervous?” Silver exclaimed, straightening his shoulders and grinning widely. “I’m not nervous! Why would I be nervous?” 

Gold raised a brow, looking down at where he was repeatedly popping out and replacing the clip in his gun. “I can see that you’re perfectly calm and collected.”

Huffing, Silver stepped around him to check the corner for himself. It was still empty, and he advanced down the hall, electing to ignore the other completely. Soft laughter followed him as he began checking doors, looking for the number they’d found scrawled on a piece of notebook paper. He’d looked at it so many times that he had the number and the address under it perfectly memorized, but he pulled it out of his pocket anyway, glancing down to double check. 

“This is the one,” he called softly over his shoulder, and Gold was by his side in an instant. He pulled the scanner bypass out of the bag that had been slung over his shoulder, crouching quickly and slipping the card reader into the slot over the door handle as Silver glanced over his shoulder. 

He was still greeted by an empty hallway, and as he turned back, Gold let out a quiet noise of victory, turning the handle and tugging up on the door. Silver stepped forward, glancing quickly around the small area and sagging in disappointment at the nearly-empty room. 

“This is it?” 

“What were you expecting, baby?” Gold asked distractedly, punching something into the machine. 

“Well, when I heard Stretch had a…  _ secret storage area _ ,” Silver said, voice mocking. “I thought it’d be a little more exciting than  _ this _ .” 

Gold glanced up, taking in the nearly empty room before grinning. “I dunno about you, but that machine looks like it could be really interesting.” Silver gave him an unamused look, and Gold laughed. “I’m serious! Look at this!” 

Pacing forward, he flipped up a panel cover, pressing a few buttons until it sparked to life. Silver watched him with one brow raised as he continued to fiddle with the buttons, unwilling smile growing across his face. 

“You know, walking up to a weird machine owned by a crime boss is probably not your best course of action.” 

“It’s fine!” Gold exclaimed, turning a dial before stepping back to look back at the results. “You know, it’s funny…”

“What?”

“This looks a lot like a… bigger version of that weird ‘teleporter’ my brother made in about sixth grade. He said he found the blueprints with our father’s stuff, but I--” The machine sparked, and Gold leaped back, watching with wide eyes as the central screen began to glow. 

“What did you--” 

“I don’t know!” Gold watched the panel with wide eyes. “It’s not like Slim’s teleporter actually did anything, I wasn’t expecting that!”

More sparks started to appear, and a loud  _ whir _ filled the room as the glow intensified. Silver took half a step back, glancing over at Gold as he said, “Maybe we should get out of--” 

Something inside the machine let out a high-pitched scream of metal, and they both flinched away from the noise. Before they could do so much as react, the whirring stopped, and everything went completely still for a split second. 

Then the whole panel lit up, and Silver threw a hand over his eyes as the light overtook the room. 

 

* * *

 

 

**Misunderstanding**

[ http://archiveofourown.org/works/13400160 ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13400160)

 

sans sure remembers, and he assumes they're in a relationship now, blue isn't sure how to tell him no thank you and finds himself really like...afraid? I was thinking though like maybe blue leaves a note and goes to work early or something similar so they dont talk right that next morning but maybe like... they have a game night or something with everyone and someone red maybe? mentions something to blue like "i didn't think you'd drop your standards enough for that to ever happen" or something like that and sans goes bright blue like "dude y u gotta talk about it" and blue's on the spot in front of everyone and isn't sure what to do? maybe they take his silence as embarrassment and agreement?

 

three chapters at most, but maybe just the one? But the first one would be that and the second would be blue confessing to someone else maybe razz since deck said he was his best friend? and whoever it is has their reaction and before blue can stop them they go after sans maybe? and then the third chapter sans gets to find out what he did!!! but im not sure about there being three chapters i mainly want that first one

 

* * *

 

 

**Angstober**

  1. Healing **Queued**



Blue’s hands were shaking. He stopped in his movements, fingers stilling on their place on Red’s scapula as he stared down at the bones of his hands. There was a faint rattling noise, he realized, and the revelation served to make him draw away from the other, clenching his fists. He willed the shaking to stop, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Red sighed quietly, turning around and biting back a groan of pain as he wrapped the other up into a hug. “Do you want me to have Stretch--”

“No!” Blue’s voice came out broken and cracking, and his grip on the other’s humerus tightened incrementally. “No, I-I can… I can do it.”

They sat for a few more minutes as Blue drew in deep breaths, Red trying not to shake. Finally, Blue pulled back, motioning for the other to turn around so he could continue the healing process. Silent tear tracks continued to flow down his cheeks, and Red bowed his head, ashamed that he had allowed himself to hurt the other so deeply. 

Blue deserved better. 

 

  1. Abuse **Queued**



“Fucking…  _ shit _ , Red, are you okay?!” 

Red’s hand lifted to his eye, legs curling up under him as he sat up. He pressed at the bone there tenderly, feeling the magic under the bone already pooling into the area, assessing the damage. He felt hands on his shoulders, under his chin, tilting his gaze up so that he was looking Sans in the eye. 

The other’s face was contorted with worry and guilt, and he looked on the edge of tears. Red’s eyes went wide, and his hand dropped from his face. “Sans, don’t c--”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, fingers brushing agains the already-forming bruise. “Shit, I’m so sorry, I just… Y-you… I just don’t like you t-talking to… I always think you’re going to  _ leave _ me, and I just…”

Red stared up at the other, clenching his fists and loosening them, clenching and loosening, over and over again. “Sans, you… you  _ hit _ me. Why would you--”

The hands withdrew, then lighted down on his wrists, tugging his hands up to the other’s teeth so that Sans could place a kiss into his palm. “I don’t know!” he said, pressing his face into his hand. “I could… I could  _ never _ hurt you, Red. I don’t know where I’d be without you!” 

God, his eyes were just… they were full of so much pain, so much regret, Red couldn’t help but cup his cheeks, press a kiss to the tears gathering under his sockets. It was okay. He was a Fell monster, it wasn’t like he’d been hurt. It wasn’t like he’d done it… to be  _ evil _ or whatever. 

Sans was different. 

That’s what Red had always loved most about him. 

 

  1. Unable to get pregnant **Queued**



Blue’s hands clenched on the edge of the sink, gaze on the floor. Deep breath in, deep breath out. His socks were gray. That was pretty normal, he liked gray socks. Breath in, breath out. The floor could use sweeping. In, out. 

He looked up at the mirror, hands hovering around the hem of his shirt. Then, another breath in, he gripped it solidly, tugging the shirt over his head in one smooth motion. Another breath out. 

In the bedroom, Razz swung his legs over the side of the bed, standing slowly and crossing the room to the closet. He was used to moving silently, but he didn’t make a noise as he pulled clothes out of drawers, listening carefully for any sign--

“Razz?”

The other’s voice cracked, and he felt his hopes crash to the ground. “Yes?”

“I’m, uh… I-I’m going to j-just… not worry about breakfast, okay? I n-need to get to work!”

He closed his eyes, leaning forward to press his forehead to the cool wood of the dresser. Deep breaths. When he spoke, his voice was smooth, devoid of any sign of his hands curling tightly into the cloth of his folded shirt. 

“Okay! Have a good day!” 

He heard the bathroom door open, then close, the sound of sniffling, then of slow footsteps down the stairs. Razz clenched his teeth, forced his eyes open, staring blankly down at the worn gray carpet. 

“I love you,” he whispered, far too quiet to hear over the slamming of the front door. 

 

  1. Resets
  2. Going wrong
  3. Breakup
  4. Growing apart
  5. Failure
  6. Pining
  7. Fighting
  8. Losing a child
  9. Prison
  10. Loneliness
  11. Dashed hopes
  12. Handicap
  13. Death
  14. Cheating
  15. Suicide
  16. Hospital/sickness
  17. You're not the person I thought you were
  18. Finding out about lies
  19. Being used
  20. In love with someone else
  21. Leaving
  22. Self-doubt
  23. LV/emotionless
  24. Fixation on objects/dead loved ones
  25. Addiction
  26. One hit wonder
  27. Manipulation
  28. Please kill me



 

* * *

 

**Drabbles**

**I know some of these are written by like Ollie and the others but I have no idea who wrote what they aren't marked at all**

**“When I do picture myself happy, it’s with you”**

How many times?

Razz’s hands tightened around the hem of his shirt, staring forward at himself in the mirror. His eyelights were flashing, the edges of the crack in his skull reflecting the purple light. His phone went off again, sitting facedown on the bed, and he held himself stiff, to keep from flinching. 

How many times would he have to watch this? To hear about it, to… to  _ encourage _ it? 

He’d take being Blue’s friend over almost anything else. He really would. That was just about the only thing he had no doubts about, that he would rather have him like this than not at all. 

This time, it was Fell. Last time, it’d been Sans. It would stand to logic that Blue would eventually work his way around to Razz, but Razz would crack his other eye before he got left behind in the dust like all the others had been. Sure, he wasn’t… he didn’t have  _ everything _ he wanted. 

But to lose him completely?

He’d take the frustration.

 

He blinked, the drowsiness in his head slowly dissipating as he took in his surroundings. The slight weight on his chest shifted, a low grumble coming from the body that was still in the process of making up the past week of missed sleep they’d shared. Stretch glanced down to peer at the top of Sans’ skull, his head resting squarely on Stretch’s chest as he snored ever so silently.

Stretch felt a smile slowly grow across his face as he wrapped his long arms around Sans’ torso, turning them both over with little trouble. Sans was light, easy to just pick up and move around whenever he wished. As an added bonus, Sans wasn’t all that easy to wake up when he’d missed out on around 48 hours of sleep. 

His smile fell as he thought about the past week for his partner. Work calling in at all hours, keeping him every night for several hours past the end of his shift. It was draining on his small lover, and just as draining for Stretch who always stayed up for the other until he got home so they could sleep together. The last week had been ridiculous, draining both on Sans’ body and psyche, and Stretch was happy to help Sans actually get to sleep. It was good for the both of them, even if one of them wasn’t awake. 

Stretch smiled once more, raising a hand and slowly petting Sans’ skull, chuckling lowly when the smaller skeleton pushed into the attention. Yeah, he wouldn’t trade this for the world.

 

If Stretch had learned one thing from therapy, it was that emotions were bullshit, and so was literally everything else. The cigarette butt in his hand hissed as he ground it against the ashtray in his room, discarding the filter alongside all of the others with a sigh. Being open wasn’t his forte. Anxiety came in waves, and his coping methods ranged from “smoke every cig I own” to “seclude myself for days.”

Currently, he was somewhere between the two.

Not for lack of trying for healthier methods, though. He’d tried writing and sketching, distraction techniques and physical coping skills, but none of them really seemed to work. Or, at least, none of them worked in a way that didn’t leave him feeling like the scum of the earth later on. Going to his “happy place” was something that he had internally mocked when it was suggested (taking shots on the beach at sunset, wow, his issues were cured), but he had tried it regardless.

It became increasingly apparent that his happy place wasn’t a place at all, but a person. Not even the most pathetic part, of course, was the fact that it was less the person and more of the idea of him. In his life, he could count on one hand the amount of times he had spoken to Papyrus without prompting (and even then it was usually the other who came up to him), but in his mind there was a whole place, a whole sort of existence he had built for himself where they were together, where he had his smile and his attitude and his basic  _ perfection _ all to himself. Where his flaws were ignored or unimportant and where they saw each other as they truly were. It was unhealthy and vaguely (extremely) creepy to have such thoughts.

So he ignored this “happy place.”

He lit another cigarette.

 

**“You know the two of us are just young gods”**

Water trickled through the ornate fountain, bubbling over the fixed statues and down into the waiting pool below, the surface of the water otherwise calm and reflecting the bright unending blue of the sky above. A pair of deep crimson eyelights stared down into the shallow pool, deep scowl reflected back to the monster standing over the fountain, his arms crossed. Fell glared at the beauty of the marble statues, his hatred for how perfect they were showing in every line of his rigid form.

A much smaller skeleton stood beside him, baby blue eyelights, pale and just as serene as their surroundings, locked on the skeleton he had accompanied here rather than the beauty around them. His own face was lined with worry, a small frown adorning his features. He knew how the other felt about his position. Neither of them really fit what it was society wanted them to be, but it was the way things were. They would get used to it eventually.

With a sigh, Blue finally tore his gaze away from the other, his white robes swaying lightly as he stepped closer to the fountain. “I love you, Fell.”

While the other said nothing, posture still screaming rage at the unfairness of it all, Blue knew that he shared the sentiment.

  
  


**“I know it’s 3 in the morning, but I can’t find my cat”**

Red groaned as he trudged across the wet grass of the park at ass fuck in the morning. In front of him, Fell was walking at a brisk pace, occasionally stopping and scanning a nearby bush or tree before he continued. Worry was radiating off him in waves, and in any other situation Red would be just as worried, but…

Fucking Doomfanger could handle himself. The cat was probably the toughest (and most terrifying) piece of shit animal he had ever seen, missing an ear and patches of fur, yet still managing to win his brother’s heart by being the “most majestic” creature on the face of the fucking planet.

For fuck’s sake, Red had watched with his own two eyes as the demon spawn chased down a fucking pit bull that was at least ten times bigger than the feline, the growling dog yelping before darting off with a whimper as the streak of off-white chased it down. The cat could handle itself. Yet…

Despite trying to hide it, Fell was very obviously worried, posture stiff as he scoured the park. Red watched his search for a few more tired moments before he sighed.

He could always just sleep later.

“‘Ey, Boss. Where’d ya say ya saw the shitstain last again?”

 

* * *

 

 

**Salvame**

Disbelief Razz, universe kinda imploded and left him stranded in another universe. It’s looking like your typical “Fell monster adjusts to Tale world” with rottenberry, Razz taught how the world works, steal liberally from masquerade, they eventually fall in love and get together, Stretch begrudginly has accepted Razz into their little family and everything is great, then blue is showing these little signs of overcontrol and it’s all from razz’s perspective and very subtle, the climax of it all is them getting into an argument and blue like...slaps him across the face? Or hits him so hard he get knocked unconcious? And when we wakes up blue is crying “i think you lost control, im so sorry, i think you were going to...to  _ kill _ me!” and razz gets really guilty. Bring the others into this maybe? Or slim makes his way there? I really dont know. Or have him become friends with blue’s alphys? Or stretch maybe never really approved but razz talks to him about what’s happening? Yeeessssss at some point razz casually mentions something he’s been taking for granted from Blue but Stretch takes as an accusation of abuse? So stretch lashes out at him and razz is left floored because he didn’t even lie like the other is saying he didn’t even try to lie. Then he continues on with his life, then the climax happens and stretch is questioning the big-ass bruise across razz’s face and he apologizes profusely about losing control and trying to hurt blue, but stretch doesn’t freak out like he’s expecting him to. Maybe this whole thing is a “slow burn” and like...they finally admit to Feelings the night before the Incident? 

 

* * *

 

 

**Absolution**

_ “Do you promise to uphold the standards, laws, and moral obligations required of a member of the Royal Guard?” _

There was no wind, not even a breeze. Usually, Sans hated days without wind. They were too still, too quiet, heat beating down on you without respite. Even in Hotlands, there was usually some kind of breeze to cool him down just a bit, give him a break from the heat.

_ Papyrus’ eyes were bright as he responded, the required response he had practiced so many times slipping out of his mouth as though he’d been born to say it. He stood tall, spine straight and proud, a hand on his chest and the other in the air. His red scarf blew behind him in the wind, a completely unmanufactured moment that just served to make him look that much cooler. He wasn’t wearing his battle body; the tradition of this ceremony required a uniform, but he had managed to convince Undyne that his beloved scarf was an absolutely essential part of that uniform. _

Now, though, he was glad there was no wind. 

_ Sans watched from his place in the crowd, soul full of pride and maybe a little bit of that bittersweet emotion that a parent feels upon seeing their kid reach their wildest dreams. God, his brother was so cool. How had someone like him raised someone like that ? _

He wouldn’t have wanted too much of Papyrus’ dust to blow away. 

His knees hurt. Probably from falling down onto them a few minutes ago. He really couldn’t bring himself to care. Reaching out, he shifted a few pieces of his little brother’s armor, searching for the red scarf that had adorned his brother’s neck for so long, that he only wore now when it was covered in the pale, dusty remains of its owner. He picked it up, the previously soft cloth gritty as always, and went to wrap it around his own neck.

He hesitated. 

_ A hand slipped into his, squeezing lightly, and Sans realized he was crying. He reached up to swipe at his eyes, his usual grin stretching into something far more real, far more solid. He squeezed Red’s hand back, not even having to look at him to know that he had that worried sort of look on his face that only seemed to pop up when he was around Sans. _

There was someone approaching. He wasn’t sure who; he hadn’t turned his head to see, but he had a pretty good idea. They lowered themselves to kneel beside him, and he felt an arm come to rest across his shoulder blades, pulling him into the solid warmth of a hug.

_ A flash of movement to his left caught his attention, and he looked automatically. Frisk was there, sitting next to Toriel, and watching Papyrus with an air of unadulterated happiness. _

_ The hand in Sans’ pulled away, only for the arm to encircle his shoulders and pull him closer. Sans refocused his attention on his brother, clasping his fingers together and smiling with pride as he watched Undyne pin a badge to his brother’s chest. _

The scarf slipped from his fingers, and he returned the embrace, beginning to sob into the graying fur lining of Red’s leather jacket. The other didn’t do anything, didn’t shush him, didn’t comfort him. They both knew that this wasn’t okay, would never  _ be _ okay, would continue to get worse if they didn’t do something about it. 

_ Five years. _

They both knew what they would have to do. 

_ It had been five years since the last reset. _

But for now, Sans was empty. He could feel himself breaking into pieces,  _ this _ pile of dust so much different than the ones that had come before.

_ The life he had made for himself wasn’t temporary, wasn’t a distraction, wasn’t something fleeting. _

_ “I hereby name you one of the soldiers of the Royal Family, an official member of the Royal Guard. You may rise.” _

_ They could all have a future. _

This pile of dust was permanent. This pile of dust meant that his brother was  _ dead _ .

The little shit that had reduced Red’s world to ashes had murdered Sans’ only family.

Even through the haze of pain and grief that was beginning to cloud his mind, Sans wanted to make the fucker  _ pay _ .

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on my [Tumblr](http://crushingonsans.tumblr.com/)!  
> I post the occasional line or two from things I'm working on, answer asks, occasionally attempt to art, and play Cards Against Humanity with my followers every Saturday! Everyone is welcome to come, just watch out for the post each week and follow the link!


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